Author has written 9 stories for NCIS, Victorious, Harvest Moon, and NCIS: Los Angeles.
Sooooo...Hi. Welcome to my page. I'm Probieprincess, and I'll be your guide. Please disregard all fangirliness, capslock, and general insanity. I may sound sane now, but once you scroll down, you will find that I may be the least sane person ever. I'll just state the obvious right now. I love all things NCIS, Harvest Moon, and Maximum Ride.
Universal disclaimer: I do not own NCIS, NCIS: Los Angeles, any other TV shows, books, and movies I decide to write about, or any songs and artists. My sister is a very good singer/songwriter, and I will be using songs that she wrote. And I will also be using songs by country singers, because I can't help but use song lyrics in my stories. Just so you know.
The results of my poll!!! I'm posting it here because I have nowhere else to put it and I'm gonna use it later...so, here it is
Tali and Jenny tied with 30% , Kate got second place with 20%, Shannon/Kelly and Ari tied for third with 10%, and Dom got no votes:(
You know that you're addicted to NCIS when...
1. You have seen every episode several times and still never get tired of it.
2. You will yell if someone tries bothers you on Tuesday night when you are watching a new episode of NCIS.
3. You find yourself Gibbs Slapping people. (Or yourself)
4. You have had a dream about it or involving one of the characters.
5. You daze out while sitting at your desk and imagine yourself running along side Tony and Ziva with your gun drawn yelling, "Federal agents! Drop your weapon!"
6. You watch the movies that Tony has mentioned. As many as humanly possible that is.
7. You wish USA would put more than just three episodes a night on.
8. You have started using military references. Hit the head, scuttle butt, hit the rack, etc.
9. The majority of television you watch is of NCIS.
10. You smell something funny or hear a beeping sound and your mind goes to a chemical attack or a bomb.
11. You call people Probie and use McNicknames.
12. Your dog goes missing and you say to, "Put out a BOLO."
13. You try and convince every person you meet to watch it.
14. You use the term Hinky.
15. You find yourself singing Tony's undercover song at odd times.
16. When you image you in NCIS world
17.If you pick out who your friend would be in NCIS and yourself (BTW I'm Ziva.)
If any of these refer to you copy and paste it into your profile.
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If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!
Why we love Tiva so much:
-Because he noticed she was braless! (Boxed In)
-Because he wanted to tossle her hair (Recoil)
-Because she made dinner for him (Boxed In)-Because she offered to give him piano lessons (Boxed In)
-Because they are the hottest fake married undercover assassins ever (Undercovers)
-Because she drove him home (Undercovers)
-Because he risked his career for her (Aliyah)
-Because it’s inevitable (Judgement Day, Part II)
-Because she missed everyone, even Tony (Last Man Standing)
-Because he knows where her tattoo is (Dagger)
-Because she’s seen his butt
-Because his butt would be a 5 if he shaved it(Frame Up)
-Because she’s his ninja (Nine Lives)
-Because he was willing to die so she could escape (Undercovers)
-Because she marked her territory (Dagger)
-Because he thought her life would have had more meaning if she’d slept with him (Boxed In)
-Because he had pictures of her on his wall (Agent Afloat)
-Because he has hair like a porquepig ( Silver War)
-Because Gibbs thought they got married and didn’t tell him(Suspicion)
-Because McGee ships them (Cover Story, Twisted Sister)
-Because Tony really misses her (Aliyah)
-Because without her Tony would have to pick on Mcgee more
-Because of her twist in the english language, Tony hangs on her every word .
-Because Tony respects a woman who can burn money without shopping (Boxed In)
-Because in “Undercover” she let him be on top
-Because she laughs at his imitations
-Because Tony wants to do page 57 with her. (Silver War)
-Because Ducky knows they have feelings for each other (Last Man Standing, Legend Part I)
-Because she intimidates him (Kill Ari II)
-Because he shared his pizza with her (Kill Ari II)
-Because she opened up to him about her sister’s murder (Kill Ari II)
-Because he was reminiscing about the first thing she ever said to him (Kill Ari II)
-Because they played grab-ass(Boxed In)
-Because Tony visited Ziva’s place at least once a week while Gibbs was away(Shalom)
-Because Mossad thought Tony and Ziva were sleeping together (Shalom)
-Because Tony messed up Gibb’s rules and thought #12 was to not date a coworker (Semper Fidelis)
-Because Rivkin was jealous of Tony(Last Man Standing, Legends I&II, Semper Fidelis)
-Because Ziva loves to observe him (Silver War)
-Because she calls him his little hairy butt (Undercovers)
-Because he is her furry bear (Undercovers)
-Because Tony imaged her pregnant with his kid! (Undercovers)
-Because Tony was looking forward to having a little Dinozzo with Ziva (Undercovers)
-Because Ziva wanted to drive him home (Undercovers)
-Because he touched her, and it wasn’t his knee! (Undercovers)
-Because he calls her sweetcheeks
-Because when this is over they’re going to watch Kuch Kuch Hoda Kai (Boxed In)
-Because if they live long enough she might tell him how she got the rug burn (Boxed In)
-Because under normal circumstances he would consider having his hands on her ass fun (Boxed In)
-Because he called her darling
-Because he was going to buy her a house, though it would have to be a fake house cause the money was fake (Boxed In)
-Because he wanted to be invited to her dinner party (Boxed In)
-Because he did not want her to think that he was having phone sex(Kill Ari part 1)
-Because he risked his life to save her.
-Because he admitted to her that he can’t live without her. (Truth Or Consequences)
-Because he admitted that he tried to leave her alone but couldn’t. (Truth Or Consequences)
-Because he wanted to protect her.
-Because Tony wanted to call her. (Aliyah)
-Because Tony thinks that Ziva is not replaceable. (Truth Or Consequences)
-Because if he could, he’d drag her back in a heartbeat. (Truth Or Consequences)
-Because they both apologized. (Reunion)
-Because she gave him a kiss on the cheek. (Reunion)
-Because she told him that he had always had her back. (Reunion)
-Because Abby ships Tiva too! (Cover Story)
-Because their intense staring made McGee feel awkward! (Reunion)
-Because Tony broke all the rules for her.
-Because she is all that he thinks about.
-Because she trusts him!(Reunion)
-Because he was a bit jealous of Rivkin. (Legend Parts 1 and 2)
-Because they are BOTH tired of pretending. (Dagger)
-Because they are soulmates. (Designated Target)
-Because he learned some Hebrew for her.
-Because Rule 51 cancels out Rule 12 in addition to Rule 13
-Because even Eli is aware of their chemistry(Aliyah)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.
(o)on your page
if you like music
Skipper: (Looking at plans for plane) "Looks impressive Kowalski. But will it fly?"
Kowalski: "Yes. If we fold it here, here, and here." (Folds paper airplane)
Between Abby and the Mythbusters, science was never this fun.
this is too true:
Your alarm goes off, you hit the snooze and sleep for another 10 minutes.
He stays up for days on end.
You take a warm shower to help you wake up.
He goes days or weeks without running water.
You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.
He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.
You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.
He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.
You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.
He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.
You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.
He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.
You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.
He walks the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.
You complain about how hot it is.
He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.
You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.
He doesn't get to eat today.
Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.
He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.
You go to the mall and get your hair redone.
He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.
You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.
He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.
You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.
He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.
You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.
He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.
You roll your eyes as a baby cries.
He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.
You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.
He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.
You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.
He hears the gunfire, bombs, and screams of the wounded.
You see only what the media wants you to see.
He sees the broken bodies lying around him.
You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.
He does exactly what he is told.
You stay at home and watch TV.
He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.
You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.
He crawls under a tank for shade and a 5 minute nap, only to be woken by gunfire.
You sit there and judge him, saying the world is probably a worse place because of men like him.
If only there were more men like him!
If you support your troops, send this on.
If it gets to a veteran who hasn't received it yet, it will bring back memories.
Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you,
Jesus Christ and the American G.I.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.
My mind works like lightning - one brilliant flash and then its gone
I may be an idiot but I'm not stupid - Spencer, iCarly
No event is complete without theme music. If you have ever started humming/singing your own theme music, copy and paste this into your profile.
I find "good morning" a contradictory sentence.
When people ask me if I've seen Twilight, I say, "Yeah, several times!" They ask if I've READ it, and I say, "You know, I've heard there's a book but I didn't think they were connected. I should look into it, I LOVE Twilight!" When they say they love it too, I start talking about it. "I mean, the way Kate dies at the end? TOTALLY shocking. And so sad! Getting killed mid-sentence like that... And the look on Tony's face-" When they cut me off and ask what Twilight I'm talking about, I say "The NCIS season two finale of course! What Twilight are YOU talking about? Oh, that series with sparkly vampires, right? You know, Tony has a fear of vampires..." Copy and paste this into your profile if your Twilight came out in 2005!
1. If you leave the door open, the iguana might come in
2. Never mess with silver haired snipers
3. Some people are born great, some people have greatness thrust upon them...and some people are DiNozzo
4. Human lie detectors come in nice packages, silver wrapping and are called Gibbs
5. Opportunity is often missed because it is dressed in overalls and looks like hard work. Tony's talent is often missed because it is dressed in a Hawaiian shirt and looks like fun
6. Ask not what the boat in the basement does for you, but what you can do for the boat in the basement
7. When in doubt, try the internet.
rock, paper, scissors, GIBBSLAP! I win!
Entertaining moments from my (not) normal life:
Guest speaker:"...and if you fall asleep, you will get DiNozzoed (Gibbsslapped)"
(awkward silence, I look around grinning)
GS:"Do any of you know what that means?"
(My hand shoots up)
Me:"I will GLADLY demonstrate!!!!!"
Justin Bieber(on TV):"Who wants to be my baby?"
Me: "I'll be your killer!"
Me:"Does my finger look edible to you?" (I had covered it in frosting)
Me:"Ok...where is my house?...I can't find my house...where exactly am I?...oooh, he's hot." (me while playing Harvest Moon: Tree of Tranquility for the first time. btw the "he" was Owen. My sisters and I say weird stuff while playing that game. We say weird stuff normally, but when we are playing that game, Idk what happens)
Me:(to Princess)"Don't let Justin Bieber fool you. This"(holds up cover to Prince Caspian)"is a real man."
Me:(listening to radio while sisters are playing Barbies)"Shut up, I love this song. song ends, next song starts Shut up, this song is awesome song ends, next song starts OMG THIS IS MY FAVORITE SONG!!!! song ends, commercial starts playing stupid commercial."
Probie and I are going through Ushi no Tane website (if you play Harvest Moon, then it is your friend) talking about her favorite bachelor on Sunshine Islands (Vaughn, the cowboy)
Probie:"See, I can prove to you that Vaughn and Julia are related!"(Clicks on Vaughn's bio)"See? Read right there!"
Me:(reading aloud from website)"'Vaughn has no family.'"
Barking dogs are just a factor in life. They become more real when they are not a sound coming off a phone.
The greatest NCIS quotes!!!!! (LA and the JAG pilots totally count!)
Kate: "Oh my god. Tony's on a date with a guy." Dead Man Talking
Tony: "I'd like to go up there and give Vance a piece of my mind."
Ziva: "At the rate you are losing it, I do not think you have any left to spare!" Cloak
Tony: "I think the freshman's having a senior moment." Cloak
Saleem: "We do not make bargains."
Tony: "Do you make pizza?" Truth or Consequences
Tony: "Hey, my car blew up this morning, did you do that?" Bury Your Dead
Gibbs: "How about 'Shalom'? Hello and goodbye."
Hadar: "And 'peace', Agent Gibbs."
Gibbs: "Not a lot of that when you're around" Enemies Foreign
Fornell: "What do we got?"
Tony: "We got nothing."
Fornell: "I don't like the sound of that."
Tony: "Oh." (excited) "We got nothing!" Jack-Knife
Tony: "I think we've found our kryptonite. The big, bad spy doesn't do 'geek'"
Ziva: "Did he just say 'Greek'?"
Gibbs: "How 'bout the both of you, shut up." Singled Out
Gibbs: "He's clean, Ziva."
Ziva: "Yeah, well you did not have to smell him." Singled Out
Tony:(to Gibbs)"And let's just face it, I'm a more believable scumbag than you."
Kate:"No argument here." Split Decision
Ziva: "So who put the body here, you or Bob?" Dead and Unburied
Saleem: "Got my BS from Yale University."
Tony: "Got my BS on the streets. Yale. You guys got a lousy football team."
Saleem: "18 national championships."
Tony: "Wow, when was the last time you won one, a hundred years ago?"
Tony: (snorts) "Oops."
Saleem: "Short memories. As a people that is my impression of you."
Tony: "wait. Sorry, you did an impression of me? I must've missed it. Go back, do it again. Except this time, why don't you
gargle with some sand. Get that Basso Profundo going. That's how you nail my essence." Truth or Consequences
Guy:"My bike was stolen. You gotta help me."
Kate:"Who stole it?"
Guy:"2 guys. Their truck went off the road. I was helping them find their dog."
Kate:"They had a dog?"
Guy:"A Shih Tzu named Kate."
Kate:"They had a dog named Kate?"
Gibbs:"What's a Shih Tzu?"
Kate:"It's a little annoying dog. Did they describe it?"
Guy:"Yeah. They said it had long, brown, hair. Kinda mangey looking."
Kate:"I'm going to shoot him." Chained
Tony:"This coming from the current and future King of Dorkland?"
Palmer:"hey, I now have a girlfriend."
Tony:"The king is dead." (puts hand on McGee's shoulder) "Long live the King." Moonlighting
Fornell:"Are you sure you don't have a camera in the elevator?"
Vance:"When we do, Fornell, you'll be the first to know." Moonlighting
Tony:"In my perspective,I see the people from the big jet plane,
the woman looks Teutonic she drinks a vodka tonic ,
and two bald men sit with her,
waiting for a fourth,
there not going to order that main course,
until that person comes,
I'm sorry I just do what I can,
I gotta do what I gotta do,
I'm just a man OH,
SPEAKING OF MAN,
another man walks through the front door,
wearing a polka dot scarf,
will he join the table, I dont know,
yes he does and he greets the pretty lady,
what do they say, who knows,
he's sitting at the table with the other people from the plane,
They are having a conversation,
a heavy heavy convosation,
that man he talk-a talk-a talk-a lot,
he talk-a talk-a talk-a lot,
Jenny I think ive been made,
DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE?" Driven THE INFAMOUS UNDERCOVER SONG!!!!!:)
Tony:"People mature a lot more quickly these days"
McGee:"Present company excluded." Enemies Foreign
Gibbs:"These guys are here to kill Eli David...as tempting as that may be to facilitate." Enemies Foreign
Kensi:"Did you guys get any sleep on the flight?"
McGee:"Not a wink."
Gibbs:"Slept the whole way." Legend Part 1
Nate:"yeah, right." Legend part 1
Tony:"Are we fighting?"
Ziva:"If we were, you would be on the floor, bleeding." Legend Part 2
DEA Agent:(leaving Autopsy) "I can see why you're so quiet."
Gerald:(Pulls out earplug)"I'm sorry. What'd you say?" Seadog
McGee:"You're under arrest for espionage and terrorism."
Female suspect:"Wait, what?" Enemies Foreign
Blonde:"I can't believe he's dead."
McGee:"what was your relationship with the deceased?"
Blonde:"You mean he's DECEASED TOO?!" Jurisdiction
Tony:"Gibbs'll get us in. He's got clearance to get us into Area 51 to see the dead aliens."
Kate:"Yeah, because he probably killed'em." Marine Down
Ziva:"Will you tell me her name if I find the pirate’s copy of ARES?"
Ziva:"That’s what I said."
Tony:"No, you said pirate’s copy. A pirate is a person like 'Captain Jack Sparrow'. A pirated copy..."
Ziva:"Who is 'Jack Sparrow'?"
Ziva:"He’s a pirate?"
Tony:"No, he’s an actor."
Tony:"How did we get here?"
Ziva:"I drove." Blowback
Tony:(about Ziva hitting his abdomen)"Do it."
McGee:"As hard as she can?"
Tony:"As hard as you can."
McGee:"You know that's how Houdini died."
Tony:"Ziva, did you kill Houdini?"
Ziva:"It is possible. I do not remember all of their names." Corporal Punishment
Tony:"Like my father always said, "Be careful who you marry, Anthony. She may end up being a homicidal maniac."
McGee:"Your father actually said that to you?"
Tony:"No, but I'm pretty sure he thought it."
Ziva:'Probably he knew your taste in women." Light Sleeper
Ziva:"If you value that hand, I suggest you back away, slowly." Judgement Day
Tony:"I don't know if you've noticed but she and they don't exactly want to shoot me."
Ziva:"Give them time." Collateral Damage
Ziva:(referring to Tony)"Is he always this juvenile?"
McGee:"Only on the days of the week ending with the word 'day.'" Switch
Tony:(to McGee)"The Sound of Music confuses you, Probie."
Ziva:"I love that movie!"(starts to sing, Tony puts his hand over her mouth)
DiNozzo:"One note, and I will lock you in a room and make you listen to It's a Small World for 24 hours straight. Do we understand each other?" Hiatus Part 1
Tony:"Personal call, David?"
Tony:"Somebody being dumped?"
Ziva:"How do you tell someone you no longer want to see them?"
Tony:"Easy! Listen, dirtbag. This is Ziva's husband. I have your phone number now, I can find your address. If you ever try to contact her again, I will reach down your throat, grab your intestines, rip them out and drive over your head. Lose this number or lose your life! You're welcome."
Ziva:"That was my Aunt Nettie, from Tel Aviv..." Designated Target
Ziva:"Tony! Why are you here?"
Tony:"Couldn't live without you I guess..." Truth Or Consequences
McGee: (sensing the awkwardness between Tony and Ziva) "And...I'm gonna go do that...after I get a Nutter Butter..." Reunion
Fornell:"My second biggest mistake, Jethro? What was my first?"
Gibbs:"Marrying my ex-wife." Twilight
McGee:"I have hung a net."
Ziva:"I do not know who Annette is or why you are so proud about killing her." Enemies Foreign
Ziva:"What is this place?"
Tony:"Classified. What you got in there? Aliens? Big Foot? Arc of the covenant?"(Guard looks impatient)"That only leaves one thing..."
Ziva and McGee: (in unison)"Unicorn." Cloak
Tony:(On painkillers)"My fingers are fing-ing." Corporal Punishment
Tony:(carrying a dead rat)"Yes, Alex, I'll take 'Horror Films That Take Place on Ships' for 500. Thank you."
(the ship's lights go out)
Tony:"Oh, goody. Double Jeopardy." Chimera
Kate:"All I'm saying is that... things on the surface are not always the same as when you put them in context with the way they actually developed, you know, under the surface, kinda."
Tony:"I have no idea what you said."
Kate:"Neither do I. But the intent was sincere." High Seas
Ari:"Butterflies. I fear butterflies." Bete Noire (I'm sorry. That's just too good. I die laughing every time I hear the big, bad Mossad assassin say that.)
Tony:"Looks like we're going to play Gibbs' favorite game..."
Abby:"Ooo! Musical interrogation rooms!" Caught On Tape
McGee:"Who would want to impersonate Tony?"
Ziva:"Perhaps Jack Nicholson? You know, impersonation revenge?" Bounce
Abby:"Did I miss it?"
Ziva:"No, he's letting him sit."
Abby:"Sit?! He gets a chair? He -- he kills bunnies!!!" Toxic
Saleem Ulman:(leads a hooded figured into the interrogation room, sitting them in a chair)"Questions are being asked in town about missing NCIS agents. I am concerned that US forces might be mobilized. One of you will tell me the identities and locations of the operatives in the area, and the other will die." (removes hood, revealing Ziva) "I will give you a moment to decide who lives. (leaves the room)
Tony: (smiles painfully at Ziva) "So... how was your summer?" Truth or Consequences
McGee: (exiting the elevator) "Ah, I missed these stained orange walls. God bless tacky American bureaucracy." Spider and the Fly
Callen:"Sam Sees the glass as half full. I see it as half empty; that's why we make a good team. Kensi on the other hand just drinks right out of the bottle, Nate wonders why it has to be glass, and Eric usually breaks the glass by putting his feet up on the table." LD 50
Gibbs:"NCIS does not leak. These plans get out...You can shoot DiNozzo" Yankee White
Tony:"Maybe instead of a mid-life crisis I'm having a mid-life crazy."
Ziva:"Look. You are not crazy, OK? You are just...growing up. Now some lessons are more painful as we grow older, when the stakes are higher. But, you need to find balance. And yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, you need to treat people more respectfully, especially when it comes to matters...of the heart. But you need to be who you are."
Tony:"Who am I?"
Ziva:"You are Tony DiNozzo. Class clown. And that is why we love you." False Witness
Jimmy Napolitano:"You hurt my boy, I'll kill your brothers, your uncles, your father. And after their funerals I'll kill you."
L.J. Gibbs:"No brothers, no uncles, my father passed years ago. I do have three ex-wives, whose names and addresses I will gladly fax on to you." The Bone Yard
Gibbs:"Where's the money? It's not in the pod or Abby'd be up there screamin' lotto." The Curse
Ziva:"I am happy Ray is happy. We are meeting in New York next weekend. He is taking me to the opera."
Tony:"The opera?! Wow! Does his boyfriend know about you?" Two-Faced
Tony:"Huh. So it's not Renaissance Ray. It's CIA Ray. He's CIRay!" Two-Faced
Ziva:"That letter's not for you to read."
Tony:"I know, but there's so many questions to be answered. The happiest day in someone's life and they need Leroy Jethro Gibbs there to seal the deal? Doesn't make any sense."
Ziva:"Right, so be honest. Surely you would Gibbs there at your wedding?"
Tony:"I don't know if a head slap coming down the aisle is the ideal Kodak moment." Tell-All
Tony:"Yelling, screaming, sounds like one of Ziva's family reunions." Out Of the Frying Pan...
Tony:"I hope you didn't break his computer. He doesn't like that thing even when it's working." Kill Screen
Tony:"I want Ziva back." Recruited THE GREATEST TIVA LINE SINCE TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES!!!
Ziva:"So this is where a redthroat would hang out after being overseas for months."
Tony:"It's not redthroat, it's redneck."
Tony:'And I think we've found the entire cast of Hee Haw."
Ziva:"Over there. That's him."
Tony:"With his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl?" Faith
Tony:"I can spot a woman's smile a mile away."
Ziva:"Yeah? Well her name is Hannah and she asked me out to lunch, twice!" Caged
McGee:"I'm thinking of buying some tight, red leather pants. Something that really cradles my butt." Truth or Consequences
Tony:"You can't outrun me; I'm wearing tube socks!" Baltimore
(In a flashback, Tony is talking to Gibbs over the phone. Gibbs' cell rings in the background)
Tony:"You need to get that?"
Gibbs:"No. My wife."
(Later in the conversation, Gibbs' cell rings again)
Gibbs:"Ah, I gotta get this one."
Tony:"Is that your wife again?"
Gibbs:"Divorce lawyer." Baltimore
Tony: (talking about Gibbs, in flashback)"Who'd wanna be a navy cop? I'd rather have the plague." Baltimore (just so ironic)
Tony:"Who would send me a letter with anthrax?"
Kate:"Pick a girl, Tony. Any girl." SWAK
(During a sexual harrassment session, Ziva leans forward and licks Tony's ear)
Tony:"Yeah, what if you slap someone on the back of the head like this?"(Headslaps McGee and McGee hits him in the gut)"Would that be considered inappropriate behavior?"
Counselor:"Absolutely. Are you saying that this had actually happened?"
(Everyone looks at Gibbs and Gibbs stares at Tony, daring him to answer)
Tony:"No, I was just wondering, that's all."
(Tony sits back down and Palmer raises his hand)
Palmer:"Uh, yes, uh, what if part of your job includes touching naked people, and—?"
Counselor:"That's inappropriate at any time."
Palmer:"Even if they're dead?"
Counselor:"Why are you touching dead, naked people?!"
Palmer:"Well, you see, I work in autopsy..." Driven
Tony:(about Abby's Caf-Pow)"Is that number 2 or 3 today?"
Abby:"If you must know, it's number 4."
Tony:(holding up evidence)"I brought you a present."
Abby:"And you wonder why you're still single." Ice Queen
Abby:"What are you going to do while I test for poison in a health snack?"
Abby:"There's a futon under my desk."
Abby:"What are you, my priest?"
Tony:"Curse you?" Yankee White
Tony:"That's kinda touching, Gibbs, remembering the day you hired me."
Gibbs:"Yeah, well, it seemed like a good idea at the time." The Curse
Tony:(about Gibbs, who has never had a cold or the flu)"If you were a bug, would you attack Gibbs?" SWAK
Mrs. Mallard:(to Tony)"I have a knife in my brassiere" The Meat Puzzle
(Kate and Tony go undercover posing as a trashy couple going for a paternity test.)
Kate:"You writin' my name, right?"
Tony:"What? I just wanna know if it's mine. She kinda sleeps around a lot, if you know what I mean."
Kate:"If I did, it's cuz he ain't any good in bed."
Tony:"Least I didn't sleep with my cousin."
Kate:"You slept with my sista!"
Tony:"I thought it was you!"
Kate:"She weighs 300 pounds!"
Tony:"She was wearing your earrings."
Receptionist:"That's enough! If you two can't be civil, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Kate:"Look, is there anywhere I can wait away from him? Please? I'm beggin' you."
Receptionist:"There's an empty exam room behind you two doors on the right."
Kate:"Thank you."(She flings her gum at Tony as she leaves.)
Tony:"I'm sorry. She slept with my brother. And my best friend. At the same time." The Boneyard
Abby:(after attempting a technical explanation to Gibbs, gives up)"Machine making pretty pictures now." Terminal Leave
Abby:"It's more addictive than pistachios."(pause)"Well, have you ever just eaten one pistachio?" Doppelgänger
Gibbs:"What did the urine tell you, Abby?"
Abby:"Oh all kinds of stuff, we had a really good talk." Witness
Abby:(referring to Eli David)"He knew how to do it. He just confessed to knowing how to build the murder weapon. I mean, come on! How many people know how to build a homemade Claymore mine?"
Malachi:"In this room?"(he, Liat and Ziva raise their hands)
Abby:"Okay, fine."(raises her hand) Enemies Domestic
Admiral Chase:"Does Agent David carry a weapon?"
Gibbs:"She is a weapon." Broken Arrow
Ziva:"Hey, guys?"(Tony and McGee arrive to see Ziva looking into a dumpster)"Someone is going to have to go though this...this is disgusting."
Tony:"Last time I checked, I was senior field agent."
McGee:"It's too bad we don't have a probationary agent with us."
Tony and McGee:"But we do!"
Ziva:"You're going to pull rank on me?!"(watches as they turn and leave) Broken Arrow
Abby:"So, I'm sure Leon has told you that I know who killed McEllon."
Eric:"Wait, you call him Leon?"
Eric:"Not successfully." Random on Purpose
Abby:(about serial killer)"He's called the Phantom."
Abby:"No, just me." Random on Purpose
Tony:"Where are you? Fornell's here with a warrant for your arrest."
Gibbs:"Well, then it's a good thing I'm not there then." Enigma
McGee:"Well, there's no bag. Maybe the killer took it."
Ziva:"Maybe she just didn't have a bag."
McGee:"Every woman has a bag."
Ziva:"Do I have a bag, McGee?"
McGee:"No, but you're not a... Well, I mean, you're a woman. You're just not a... not a normal..." Once a Hero
Tony:"If I needed to be cheered up, I would have put superglue on McGee’s keyboard."
McGee:(angrily)"You put superglue on my keyboard!" Family
Deeks:"I'm just wondering why I'm the one with duct tape on his head."
Kensi:"Because it looks good on you." Disorder
Kensi:(wakes up to see Callen, Sam and Deeks standing in front of her)"I had a dream I was being visited by three wise men...and then I saw Deeks." Disorder
McGee:"So, pirates that weren't really pirates, were actually Russian sailors, were on a covert mission to steal a Navy research ship that wasn't a actually Navy research ship in order to get back nuclear weapons that we thought they didn't think we had retreived?"
Callen:"What are we? If anyone asks."
Sam:"Uhh, city inspectors"
Callen:"No, no one talks to city inspectors"
Sam:"Okay, you're a realtor and I'm your client; you're showing me an apartment."
Callen:"Do I look like a realtor?"
Sam:"Okay, I'm a realtor and you're the guy looking for an apartment. Can we go?"
Callen:"Would I live in a place like this? I don't even know if I can afford a place like this."
Sam:"That's why I'm showing you to see if you'd wanna live in a place like this."
Callen:"Does it have a Jacuzzi?"
Sam:"If it has, I'm going to drown you in it." Identity
Hetty:"Oh for the love of Gucci!" The Only Easy Day
Nate:"What is the world coming to when drug dealers aren't even safe in the comfort of their own fortified homes?"
Hetty:"Oh, your professional psychological analysis is an invaluable asset to our team, Nate."
Hetty:"But your stand up needs some work, save it for open mike night." The Only Easy Day
(The team is watching footage of a UAV attack)
Sam:"How fast can we get that footage off the web?"
Eric:"With or without the cooperation of Sphereguide.com's legal department?"(Sam looks at him)"Okay, cutting through the legal tape"(types)"I just crashed their entire server."
Hetty:(yelling from her office)"Idiot hackers!!!"
Callen:"Sam, I think we are due in the boathouse."
Sam:"Walking"(Callen and Sam walk away, passing Hetty walking in)
Callen:"Eric did it."
Hetty:"I was just watching that viral video with the cats and the trampoline and the site just froze up and crashed on me. Did you have anything to do with that?" Predator
Kensi:"So, Caldwell takes Amini out and sets up Flynn to take the fall. Then tortures his foster brother, Chad Ellis, to death."
Sam:(to Nate)"Shrinks have a term for someone like that, Doc?"
Nate:"Yeah, really screwed up." Search and Destroy
Mann:"We have a little issue."
Mann:"You wanna tell her, Agent Gibbs?"
Gibbs:"No, not particularly."
Jenny:"Is this issue going to involve lawyers?"
Mann:"It already did. It's his ex-wife. She's a material witness."
Jenny:"And which ex would that be?"
Jenny:"What number is she again? Second?"
Jenny:"Oh, right. You lived in Europe with her for a while. Frankfurt."
Jenny:"Well, it's hard to live in Moscow... with anyone."
Jenny:"Do you think he should divorce himself from this case, Col. Mann?"
Mann:"No, no no..."
Jenny:"Nor do I, I don't see a problem if you conduct the interview. Do you have a problem with Col. Mann interviewing your ex-wife, Agent Gibbs?"
Gibbs:"Do I have a choice?"
Jenny and Mann"(together)"No." Ex-File
Tony:(singing)"Baa Baa black ship have you any wool? Yes sir. Yes sir, but in order to see it you're going to need top secret government clearance." Chimera
McGee:"The victim is a naval reservist. Lieutenant Jason Simms, 44, from Fairfax. Witnesses say he was swerving all over the road, clearly drunk, pulled off onto the shoulder over there."
Gibbs:"Did you get a time?"
McGee:"A little over three hours ago."
Ducky:"Tony?"(holds man's wristwatch up so Tony can take a photograph)"4:19 to be precise. The truck tapped his wrist, apparently."
Ziva:"Being drunk is one thing, but why would he have crossed the road?"
Tony:"Suppressing chicken joke in three, two--" Thirst
THE GREATEST CHRONICLES OF NARNIA QUOTES!!! (books and movies)
Eustace:"That giant rat thing just tried to claw my face off!"
Reepicheep:"I was merely trying to expel the water from your lungs!"
Random sailor:"He always talks."
Caspian:"Yes, getting him to shut up is the trick." The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Lucy(to Susan; while watching Santa leave):"Told you he was real." The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Eustace:"There once were two orphans who wasted their time
believing in Narnian nursery rhymes." The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Edmund:"There once was a boy named Eustace
who read books full of facts that were useless." The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Reepicheep(while sword-fighting Eustace):"Stop flapping your wings like a drunken pelican!" The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Lilliandil:"Travelers of Narnia, I am your guide."
Caspian:"You are most beautiful."
Lilliandil:"If it is distraction for you, I-I can change forms."
Edmund and Caspian:(simultaneously)"No!"
(Caspian and Edmund look at each other. Lucy looks at them and rolls her eyes) The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (they are soooo male)
Susan:"I don't remember this way."
Peter:"That's the problem with girls - you can't carry a map in your heads."
Lucy:"That's because our heads have something in them." Prince Caspian
Eustace:"Mother says I have an acute disposition, due to my intellect."
Reepicheep:"I don't think he has a cute anything." The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Reepicheep:(about Eustace)"He's quite the complainer, isn't he?"
Edmund:"He's just warming up." The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
Edmund:(as Peter hands him a coat)"But it's a girl's coat!"
Peter:"I know." The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Peter:"No, that's just it. Aslan, I'm not who you think I am."
Aslan:"Peter Pevensie, formerly of Finchley. Beaver also mentioned that you planned on turning him into a hat." The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Reepicheep:"Choose your last words carefully, Telmarine."
Caspian:"...You are a mouse."
Reepicheep: (sighs)"I was hoping for something a little more original." Prince Caspian
Telmarine Soldier to be killed By Reepicheep:"You're a mouse."
Reepicheep: (annoyed and bored)"You people have no imagination!" (He attacks the Telmarine Soldier) Prince Caspian
THE GREATEST MAXIMUM RIDE QUOTES!!!
Fang:"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)" The Angel Experiment
Nudge:"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." School's Out-Forever
Max:(narrating)"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
Fang:(fighting a flying Eraser)"You... are...a... fridge...with...wings! We're...freaking...ballet...dancers!" School's Out-Forever
Total:(after getting shot...in the tail)"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?"
Max:(narrating)"Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much." MAX
Some random dude:"What's your name?"
Angel:"Isabella von Frankenstein Rothschild." MAX
Iggy:"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." The Angel Experiment
Max:"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." The Angel Experiment
Max:(narrating) "I had made two friends in 14 years. I was on a roll." School's Out-Forever
Max:(narrating)"So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like unbarfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl." Max
Max:(narrating)"I love Nudge, I really do. But that motor mouth of her's could have turned Mother Theresa into an axe murderer." The Angel Experiment
Iggy:(about how to get out of the School)"I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw beef jerky in their eyes! Now, that's a plan!" Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports
As a parting thought...I HAVE FURY!!! (Fawful=greatest character in ALL of the Mario series. Er, I mean the greatest character in all of series of Mario is Fawful)