19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone Has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.
7. Finish All Your Sentences With "In Accordance With The Prophecy."
8. Don't Use Any Punctuation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Ask People What Sex They Are. Laugh Hysterically After They Answer.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party because You're Not In The Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name "Rock Hard".
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."
Come to the dark side. We have cookies.
When nothing goes right... go left.
When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not like all the screaming passengers in her car.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
Welcome to the dark side.
Are you surprised we lied about having cookies?
Hey, you. Yeah, you. No, not you... The other guy. You right there! Yes, you! Do you like tacos?
Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried to slam a revolving door.
A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.
I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned.
We'll be the old ladies causing trouble in the nursing home;)
Boys are like trees, they take 50 years to grow up.
There are three types of people: those who can count, and those who can't.
If you guys came and took me to the loony bin, I wouldn't blame them.
How to live a long life: Don't annoy the crazy people.
I'll be your Max if you will be my Fang, but we can skip book 1,2,3,4 and go straight to book five =)
Those who throw objects at crocodiles will be asked to retrieve them
This is Bob. Bob likes sharp things. I suggest you run from Bob.
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
The world is full of crazy people. THEY MADE ME THEIR LEADER.
Wake Up, Read, Eat, Read, Go to School, Read, Eat, Read, Go to Sleep, Repeat
RAWR I'm a DORKASAUR
Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.
Life is like a corndog. I don't know why. It just is.
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?
I'm probably in the sky flying with the fishes; or maybe in the ocean swimming with the pigeons. See, my world is different!
The reason your mama told you not to hit girls is they hit back harder, and sometimes repeatedly.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
Talking to yourself isn’t a sign of insanity; arguing with yourself and losing is.
Last night I was looking at the stars and I wondered... Where’s my ceiling!
Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
15 THINGS TO MAKE YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU'RE INSANE!!
This is NOT my poem. Owned by Claratrix LeChatham. This is for "The Hunger Games."
I promise to remember Rue
When mockingbirds’ songs wake me
I’ll think of Foxface every time
I eat a strange new berry
If my little sister pets a goat
I promise to think of Prim
And if my best friend acts depressed
Then Gale; I’ll think of him
When I toss some wood in the fire
I’ll think of Katniss every time
And I’ll always think of Peeta
When my birthday cake’s sublime
The Capitol will cross my mind
When someone is unfair
I’ll be sure to think of Clove
Each time I pretend to care
I’ll always think of Glimmer
If someone’s pretty, but a dunce
And Thresh will occupy my mind
If I spare someone, something... Once
Whenever I watch a reality show
I will think of the Hunger Games
I’ll sure imagine Haymitch
If someone calls me names
I swear to think of Cato
When I’m homicidally inclined
I’ll make sure I think of Effie
When there’s nothing on my mind
I swear to remember the Hunger Games
And Catching Fire too
It’s important to think of the characters
But they’re NOT mine (So, Collins, don’t sue!)
come along, the one who's
to the top
of the tree
This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
(add this to your profile if your against child abuse)
Hello! I'm going to tell you a LITTLE about myself... Trust me, this doesn't even scratch the surface.
I love: Marching Band, Chorus, Theatre, Musicals, Art, Broadway, Ballet, Friendships and Animals
Favorite Animated Movies: ALL Pixar films (with the exception of Cars 2 and the Planes movies, Frozen... Lets just go with ALL of Disney.
Favorite Colors: Any variation of blues and greens
Favorite Musicals: Wicked the Musical, Shrek the Musical, Violet, Hairspray, Mary Poppins, the Addams Family Musical
Favorite Musical Songs: The entire Wicked, Hairspray, and Addams Family soundtrack, I Want More - Lestat, and Opportunity - Annie (2014)
Favorite Characters: Elphaba Thropp (Wicked the Musical), Galinda "Glinda" Upland (Wicked the Musical), Lucy Pevensie (The Chronicles of Narnia), Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games)
Favorite Books: Wicked (The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West), Son of a Witch, The Hunger Games Trilogy, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, The Kate Burkholder Series and The Wizard of Oz
- Sidney and Kincaid ( Scream 3)
"Fear comes from the sense of having no control."
- Jason Wise ( Final Destination 3)
- Peeta Mellark (The Hunger Games Trilogy)
"No one mourns the wicked.""
- Citizens of Oz (Wicked the Musical)
"I'm the other daughter... Elphaba? I'm beautifully tragic."
-Elphaba (Wicked the Musical)
"Because I knew you, I have been changed... For good."
-Elphaba and Galinda (Wicked the Musical)