Author has written 5 stories for Naruto.
Age: not going to tell you
Likes: none of your business
Dislikes: also none of your business
Hobbies: I have many hobbies
Pet Peeves: Awesome Fanfiction stories that are discontinued, and very slow updates
Note: If I do not update any of my stories in 3-4 months assume one of the following
1. I forgot my password to fanfiction
2. I'm dead
3. I have a huge case of writers block
4. My computer broke down
5. My internet connection is down
6. I destroyed my computer for having slow internet
7. I forget I have an account on fanfiction
8. I somehow end up in a place with no computers or electronic devices
Stupid Racist People...
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
Copy this onto your site and help stop racism!
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side.
If you're weird and proud of it, post either of these cute rabbits on your profile page! ALL HAIL THOSE WHO ARE PROUD TO BE DIFFERENT!
Copy the bunny onto your profile to help him achieve world domination. Come join the dark side. (We have cookies)
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going
2. My mother taught me RELIGION. "You better pray that will come out of
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. "If you don't straighten up,
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. " Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. "If you fall out of that swing and
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
7. My mother taught me IRONY. "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. "Shut your mouth
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. "Will you look at that dirt
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. "This room of yours looks as if
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. "If I told you once, I've told
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. "I brought you into this
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. "Stop acting like
15. My mother taught me about ENVY. " There are millions of less
16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION. "Just wait until we get
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. "You are going to get it when
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. "If you don't stop crossing
19. My mother taught me ESP. "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
20. My mother taught me HUMOR. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. "If you don't eat your
22. My mother taught me GENETICS. "You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. "Shut that door behind you. Do
24. My mother taught me WISDOM. "When you get to be my age, you'll
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
"Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupid people."-Anonymous
"Life is not life unless it's a pain in the ass"- whiteicewolf
You know you live in 2012 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don’t have a screen name or Face Book
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did
A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
THINGS TO DO AT THE MALL
Repost this if you laughed... Or are planning to do any of these things and add another one to the list!
When life gives you lemons throw them at the mean people and hope it gets them in the eyes. (Take that! I hope you go blind!)
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to these men? (Dear murderer, please don’t kill me. Sincerely, me. That’s stupid.)
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
Itachi -/ \-
Our Itachi's Face guide:
WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART
1. 'Test' the fishing poles
2. Leave a trail of tomato juice from the bathroom
3. Enter the dressing room and yell "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
4. Go up to some old guy and say "Grandpa! I thought you were dead!"
5. Look for a guy that has a girl beside them and say "Who is this?" and when he says that he doesn't know who you are say " Oh, so that's how it is. Well, whatever we had is now over, you cheating liar." Then run away crying.
6. Put a wet floor sign in a carpeted area.
7. When the guards chase you, try to get to the aisle where they sell chainsaws and grab the one. Then go to the the toy, grab a teddy bear and say "Stop or the bear get's it."
8. If they catch you kick 'em in the groin and say " That's for my mom."
9. Grab a toy sword and run around yelling "FOR NARNIA!". Then find an old lady and say "AH! IT'S THE WHITE WITCH! SOMEONE GET ASLAN!"
10. Get a toy gun and walk around singing "Secret Agent man, Secret Agent man."
11. Release all the balls and say "GO PIKACHU! I CHOOSE YOU!"
12. Find some Yu-Gi-Oh cards and walk up to random people saying " IT'S TIME TO DUEL!"
13. Go up to the cashier and say "Where are you keeping him?" When they say they don't know what you're talking about say "GODDAMMIT! WHERE ARE YOU KEEPING MY BROTHER?!
14. Do the Hare Hare Yukai in the men's bathroom if you're a girl, do it in the girl's bathroom if you're a boy.
15. Get one of those dolls that can pee and get an employee and say "Sir, there is something wrong with my brother/sister and I can't find my parents." When the employee leans in to look at your 'brother/sister' activate the doll.
16. Attach a walkie talkie to an Elmo and make it say "Elmo has mommy." in a demonic voice whenever a kid (that's alone) walks towards it.
17. Sing shigure's high school girl song whenever some girl walks by. (Both boys and girls can do this one ;) it is 'highschool girls highschool girls, all for me highschool girls'
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES:
Say the words out loud.
Work vs Prison
IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
IN PRISON... you get three meals a day.
IN PRISON... you get time off for good behavior.
IN PRISON... the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
IN PRISON... you can watch TV and play games.
IN PRISON... you get your own toilet.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
IN PRISON... all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required
IN PRISON... you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
IN PRISON... you must deal with sadistic wardens.
So why is it, again, that we work?
What makes life 100 percent?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.
is represented as:
H A R D W O R K
K N O W L E D G E
A T T I T U D E
So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
And look how far this will take you...
A S S K I S S I N G
Think about it... and have a nice day at work... :)
Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter by Hyuuga Hiashi WRITTTEN BY SHAWNY WONG!!
Rule One: If you come up to gates of the Hyuuga estate and announce your presence you’d better be delivering an important message from the Hokage, because you’re sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered practical for boys of your age to remove their shirts when they have been training for hours on end. Presumably, this is to ensure that you do not overheat while you are training outdoors. Please don’t take this as an insult but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. We do have air conditioned dojos and indoor training halls for a reason. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may remove your shirts and tops whenever and wherever you want, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your pants do not, accidentally, come off during any time spent with my daughter, I will take my senbon and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex with the wrong kunoichi can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, my daughter is that kunoichi, and I will kill you.
Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about recent missions, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will makeyou cry.
Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than sculpting the Hokage Monument. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like sweeping my floors?
Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, ninja patrols, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay. Chunin exam tournaments are okay. Morino Ibiki’s interrogation chambers are better. (Speaking of which, Ibiki owes me a favor. Would you like me to make an appointment for you? It’s no trouble.)
Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I am a master of the Byakugan – that makes me a living lie detector. I can see every involuntary twitch, every breath, and each bead of sweat on your face. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have an army of elite Byakugan users at my beck and call. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your steps coming up to my front gate for an enemy Cloud ninja sent here to steal the secrets of the Byakugan. You remember what happened to the last Cloud ninja who crossed me, don’t you? Incidentally, I will be cleaning and polishing the family katana as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you set one foot on my property you should submit yourself to a full body search by my guards, remove all hidden weapons from your person, and keep both hands in plain sight. Announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then leave - there is no need for you to come inside. You may not see me, but rest assured. I see you.