Qille
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Poll: Who is better: Camicazi or Astrid? Vote Now!
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Joined 01-27-11, id: 2723270, Profile Updated: 08-19-12
Author has written 29 stories for How to Train Your Dragon, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, Rio, Gnomeo & Juliet, Gremlins, 9, Harry Potter, Hobbit, and Frozen.

PenName: Qille (pronounced like "Quill" but spelled way cooler)

Occupation: Highschool Junior (homework is, to quote from my favorite movie: an occupational hazard)

Favorite animals: dragons and werewolves

Favorite color: usually green. mainly forest green. i also like teal

Age: 112 in dog years

Birthday: July 2nd

Favorite songs: Way too many to name

Favorite sport: volleyball

Description: female; pyro; strange, yet awesome =)

Motto: "See it. Hate it. Burn it."


Poll: What are your favorite breeds of dragons from HTTYD, the books and movie? & Who is better: Camicazi or Astrid? I have a HTTYD forum too, called 'Foot Factor.' Seriously, go check it out!

Note: I own a pet sister. She is younger than me by 16 months, but she is as tall as me. OMG I'm going to be the shortest one in my family at 5 foot 8! I also have this little vermin that's been running around my house for 9 years. I think it's called a Little Brother. If anyone knows any methods of extermination for Little Brothers, keep it to yourself. My parents seem to have taken a liking to the little vermin, and would kick me out if I eh... disposed of it. ;)


I, Qille, do solemnly swear to review all the fanfics I read, regardless of the number of reviews, its age, or anything else. I have joined the Review Revolution.

Copy and Paste this into your profile to join the Revolution and spread the love...


Two reasons why guys are better than girls:

1. Guys don't mind wearing the same thing twice in one week.

2. Guys can pee standing up.

Two reasons why girls are better than guys:

1. Girls don't need to sniff their clothes to know if they're clean.

2. Girls never miss the toilet.


Ever wonder what happens to those people who mysteriously stop updating?

It is a known fact that 94% of people who mysteriously stop updating have been eaten by dragons. The other 6% are hiding in their bathtubs with a fire extinguisher.

If you believe this is true, copy this and post your name here after all the other names- Qille


Okay, this is why EVERYONE needs an account. The other day I was looking at reviews for one of my stories, Seeing Double, and someone left me the most AMAZING review! Here it is:

I love all your stories, but my favorites over all have to be the ones from Rio! I think that you have a gift and i love all the updates you make to the stories. You are an amazingly good writer and i can't believe that something this good exists. All your stories are wonderful and i can't wait untill the next chapter to Seeing Double is out! It's just too good! Hmm...you kinda spiked my curiosity a bit. I'm sorry, i need to ask if there's going to be a little short on the whole 'Spider Incedint'. I keep wondering what happened there. Keep it up! :)
Anika.

Unfortunately, this girl doesn't have an account, so I can't PM her and tell her how amazing her review was! It made me happier than a bird with a french fry and I couldn't even tell her! So that's why I think everyone should have an account, so that the authors can tell their reviewers how awesome they really are! Thank you for listening...

Qille


On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with head colds off fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space?)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On artificial bacon:
Real artificial bacon bits.
(we don't get fake fake bacon. we get real fake bacon.)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

On a birthday card for a 1 year old:
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
(There goes 12 months.)

Sign at a railroad station:
Beware: To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
(Court of zombies...?)

On a bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.
(D: so I should use a different cleaner first?)

On a bottle of Muscle Milk:
Warning: contains no milk
(what a rip off)


50 Ways to get Kicked out of Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals
throughout the day.

4. Don't bother doing your own shopping. Simply find someone with a full trolley containing roughly the items you need, and when they are not looking take it and go pay for it at the checkout. (this is not stealing, they did not own the items yet, they were simply 'moving them around')

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit, then arrange them into erotic poses. (be creative with the gift-wrap tubes used in point 6).

9. When there are people behind you, walk really slowly,
especially in thin aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I
think we've got a code 3 in housewares," and see what happens.

11. Turn all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off
and turn the volume up to full blast.

12. Re-enact a fatal incident involving the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen
you in so long." etc. See if they play along. Insist on calling them 'Bob', and if they protest, get angry about it (violent if necissary).

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself
loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

15. When you leave the store, try your car keys in the door of every car in the car park until you get to your own. Then drive off as if this is perfectly normal. (Note- if you don't actually own a car and walked to the store, attempt the above by substituting car keys with your house keys).

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are
taking it for a test drive.

17. Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet
behind them. Do this until they leave the store.

18. Ask if you can test some super-glue before buying it, then walk around the store gluing random items to other items/customers/staff. For added fun: See how many cashiers you can glue to each-other before any of them notice.

19. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items. If the cashier protests, kill them.

20. Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and
when they say you didn't buy it there say "The customer is always right darn it!!" Make a scene.

21. Move "Caution : Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you
will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other
aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,
"I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."

26. Climb things.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello"
upside down. Once you have mastered this, progress to "boobs".

29. When someone asks you if you need help, begin to cry and
say, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between
them yelling "Red Rover."

31. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any
in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples). Do a vague hand-mime of what a 'Shnerple' looks like to assist them.

32. Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale
battle with G.I. Joe vs. X-men.

33. Take bets on the battle from above.

34. Test the brushes and combs in Cosmetics on all the live animals in Pet-Care.

35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask
the clerk where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as
possible.

36. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from
Mission Impossible.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags against their will.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to
your Twinkies."

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: Marco Polo.

43. Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet
section, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's using an alternative alphabet of your choosing.

45. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with
various funnels.

46. When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at
something, quickly place random combinations of items in their cart, such as 'A Large Cucumber and a Tub of Vasceline'.

47. Relax in the patio furniture drinking beer until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, drop to
your knees and scream, "No, no, its those voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. Go to
the food court, buy a drink, and say you don't get out much and ask them to put a little umbrella in it.


If you have ever seen an animated movie so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

If you firmly and truly believe that the world WILL NOT come to an end in 2012, Copy and paste.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you wonder who started these thingamawhatevers, copy this into your profile

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever really wanted to give a certain cartoon character a hug, copy and paste this on your profile

If you come up with most of your fanfic ideas by laying in bed staring at the moon, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name; Medalis, Invisibool, krazykookiegirl, Gewlicious, RainingSunshineEverywhere, Qille,

If you read this, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have risked many things in life, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you can't wait for the HTTYD and CWACOM sequels, then copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think Susan from Monster vs Aliens looks like Sam Sparks from Cloudy with a chance of meatballs, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that Toothless is the awesomest dragon character in HTTYD, copy paste this on your profile.

If you think Hiccup is really cute, copy paste this on your profile; really, really, really, really, really, really cute!!! (:

If you think Camicazi is a billion times better than Astrid, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're hopelessly addicted to chocolate, paste this into your profile.

If you appreciate the beauty of movie soundtracks and own at least one, paste this into your profile.

If you've met some really cool people online (possibly from other countries) as a result of your involvement on this site, paste this into your profile.

If you realize that by joining this site, you are a part of something special, paste this into your profile.

If you're a PJO ultimate fan or demigod, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your reading fanfics when your supposed to be studying for a major test the next day, and telling your parents your studying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

When life gives you lemons, make apple jucie and let life wonder how the heck you did it!

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you think that girls are equals to boys, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you're easily confused or confuzzled add this to your profile.

If you think that child abuse is wrong and should be stopped completely, copy and past this into your profile.

Profile your into this past and copy ,retard a like beginning the from this read actually you if. Now Read It Backwards

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive seconds...copy/paste this into profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever become so obsessed with something that it is NOT even funny anymore and people think you’re insane, copy this into your profile.

If you can raed tihs, cpoy tihs itno yuor polrfie, and sea if ohtres can raed it.

If you ever totally spaced out during some kind of sporting event and the other team scored a point because of it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), AVirgoGirl, xcheergrlx3, Mrs.DiAngelo,zeusgirl39, percabeth4evereverveverever, RainingSunshineEverywhere, Qille,

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all your cut and paste things, and thought "DAMN! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this to your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.


Friends

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS FRICKING AWESOME!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won't tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS:Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS:Will go up to him and say 'its becuase your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS:Will repost this crappp!!


Some favorite quotes (copy and bold your favorites, or the ones that apply to you)

"When can we live in a world where chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives?"

"I'm the type of girl that can watch all the scary movies I want and not get scared, but I scream at the top of my lungs when the toast pops out of the toaster."

"Please, they wouldn't come near me if they were on fire, and I had the only bucket of water in town."

"Lettuce... Any questions?"

"Gravity man. It's not just a good idea, it's the law!"

"Blondes have more fun, but brunettes actually remember it the next day."

"Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."

"A palm can say a lot, especially when it smacks you."

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is NOT for you!"

"Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it."

"What I lack in talent I make up for with enthusiasm."

"Having good friends is like wetting your pants. Others can see it, and you can feel it."

"Warning: jumping into radioactive waste does not give you super powers!"

"WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary, whose name and/or species you can't remember."

"I trip UP the stairs."

"Don't follow me. I run into walls."

"I am the bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up."

"I'm naturally blonde. So please speak slowly."

"Girls can do anything boys can do, and we can do it in high heels."

"Brilliant brunette with many blonde moments."

"I am the type of girl who burst out laughing at something that happened yesterday."

"It's a beautiful day! Now watch some idiot screw it up."

"The darkest hour is always just before dawn breaks."

"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."

"If a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

"Pain is a good thing. It lets you know you're still alive."

"If you want to figure out what's right for you, sometimes it's enough to figure out what's wrong."

"I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do!"

"Forget yesterday. Live for today. Tomorrow will take care of itself."

"Forget the risk. Take the fall. If it's meant to be, It's worth it all."

"Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow."

"The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."

"Live for the nights you won't remember. With the friends you'll never forget."

"You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me."

"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, yelling 'Daaamn... What a ride!'"

"Never take life too seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

"I HATE IT WHEN THE LITTLE VOICES ARGUE WITH MY IMAGINARY FRIENDS!"

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."

"Never tell anyone your problems. 20% don't care, and the other 80% are glad you have them."

"If life was easy... where would all the adventure be?"

"Every story has an end, but in life, every end is just a new beginning."

"Who are you to judge me? I know I'm not perfect and I don't claim to be! But before you go pointing fingers, make sure your own hands are clean."

"Be strong now. Because things will get better. It may be stormy now. But it can't rain forever..."

"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon!"

"I'm the kind of person who spends hours trying to drown a fish."

"To be old and wise, you first must be young and stupid."

"LIFE IS LIKE A MOVIE: If you are sad: drama. If you are afraid: suspense. If you are angry: action. When you look at the mirror: horror. Now you are smiling: that's comedy!"

"DO NOT INTERRUPT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO MYSELF!"

"Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door."

"Break the rules. Stand apart. Ignore your head. Follow your heart."

"I'm not random, you just can't think as fast as I- GUMMYBEARS!"

"When nothing goes right... go left."

"The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know... So why learn?"

"I'm not crazy. My reality is just... different than yours."

"DRINK COFFEE! DO DUMB THINGS FASTER WITH MORE ENERGY!"

"NEVER go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge."

"I'm not deaf. I'm just ignoring you."

"It takes skill to trip over a flat surface!"

"People change. Things go wrong. But just remember: Life Goes On..."


Okay I'm sure lots of people watched the Oscars... HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON LOST TWO OSCARS!!!??? I'm seriously so angry about that. IF YOU ARE A HUGE HTTYD FAN AND WISHED THE MOVIE WON AN OSCAR, COPY AND PASTE THIS ON YOUR PROFILE!

DRAGON PRIDE METER: 100 If You're Proud To Be A Dragon Lover Stick This On Your Page!


This is the stupidity test! 100 stupid things that people do! Bold the ones that you have done!

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on (I put it on the tip of my nose, too)
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposely while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke or movie that no one else thought was funny
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one or because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out.
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

Wow, I did a lot of that stuff, and I'll probably do half of it again tomorrow!


IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favourite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"


Natural Highs

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.


Child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!

My name is Sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see.

I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All the day long

When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.

I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.

He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,

Murdered me.


42 Things to do in an Elevator

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, gri nning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention


Things not to do at hogwarts! (yes hp is also cool!)

1. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

2. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.

3. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.

4. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

5. I will not use Umbridge’s quill to write “I told you I was hardcore”.

6. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.

7. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

8. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year’s Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless, tacky, and not a clever money-making concept.

9. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today’s project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.

10. Adding the name “Bueller” to Professor Binns’ roster is not funny.

11. “Springtime for Voldemort” is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

12. Seamus Finnegan is not “after me Lucky Charms”.

13. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

14. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to “Get a room” whenever they start to fight.

15. I am not a tribble Animagus.

16. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.

17. I do not weigh the same as a duck no matter what that Muggle movie says.

18. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

19. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

20. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

21. Asking “How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?” and walking away is only funny the first time.

22. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

23. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

24. Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say “NI”. (you've gotta have watched the monty python to get it)

25. I will stop asking when we will learn to make “Love Potion Number Nine”.

26. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with “What’s new, pussycat?”

27. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I it’s founder.

28. I am not allowed to order the kitchen house-elves to spit into all the food to “enhance the flavor”.

29. The proper way to report to my Teacher is “Yes, Sir” not “You can’t prove a thing!”

30. I am not allowed to add pictures of teachers I don’t like to Wanted Deatheater posters.

31. There is no house made of candy in the forbidden Forest and it’s wrong to say so to first years.

32. I shall not add “according to the prophecy” at the end of my sentences to raise my Divination grade.

33. I am not to ask Aragog how things with the wife are. Especially if his wife is Shelob.

34. “To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys” is not an appropriate career choice. Not even if I am a witch.

35. I will not call my wand “an elegant weapon from a more civilized age”.

36. It’s just cruel to tell Nearly Headless Nick that he’d forget his head if it wasn’t attached.

37. The four houses are not the Morons, the Barons, the Smartasses, and the Junior Death Eaters.

38. My headmasters name is Albus Dumbledore, not “Gandalf”.

39. I will not teach the house-elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks.

40. Yelling “to infinity and beyond” was only funny the first time I took off on my broom.

41. I will refrain from calling Harry and Ron “Frodo and Sam” and the Weasley twins “Merry and Pippin”.

42. Telling Draco Malfoy to “Make like a ferret and bounce” is always a bad idea.

43. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

44. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

45. I will stop sneaking out at night to look for Ents in the Forbidden Forest.

46. I am not allowed to flood the Chamber of Secrets, install an organ, wear half a mask and sing Andrew Lloyd Webber.

47. I will not tickle a sleeping dragon “just to see what happens”.

48. When being questioned by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These aren’t the droids you are looking for”.

49. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter’s Firebolt.

50. I will not start singing and dancing in the middle of a class and blame that someone put the Imperious Curse on me.

51. I will not refer to the Accio Charm as “The Force”.

52. I will stop telling tree-huggers to go visit the Whomping Willow.

53. Loudly repeating “Voldemort Voldemort Voldemort” is not a good way to get the classroom quiet.

54. I must not sing “I’m off to see the wizard” every time I am sent to the headmasters office.

55. I must not throw Hermione’s copy of Hogwarts: A History out the window and then claim that it wanted freedom.

56. I will not tell Professor Trelawny that my teacup says she’s lying.

57. I must not convince first years that the new password to Gryffindor tower is “Petrificus Totalus” and must be recited with their wands pointed at themselves.

58. I will not jump up, yelling “VOLDEMORT, RUN!” in the middle of a Order of the Phoenix or DA meeting.

59. I will not tell Snape he needs to go to his “Happy place”.

60. I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand.

61. I must not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.

62. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.

63. I will not set Ravenclaw house on the task of calculating the exact value of pi.

64. However tempting it may be, I will not send Voldemort a Christmas card telling him how much we all love him, even through these difficult times.

65. I will not point out to the house-elves how much sushi could be made of the giant squid.

66. I will not dress like Neville’s grandmother when going to the Halloween Party in Snape’s class.

67. I will not give Voldemort a toupee to hide his baldness.

68. I will not steal veritaserum from Snape’s store and add some to the teachers’ morning tea.

69. When asked a question by a teacher I will not point out that the answer is protected by a fidelius charm and I am not the secret-keeper.

70. Do not jump out at Mad-Eye Moody for a joke.

71. The phrase “Good dragon, nice dragon, please don’t kill me,” doesn’t work.

72. I must not point to the Dark Mark in the sky and shout “To the Batmobile, Robin!”

73. Making a fake journal and leaving it in Ginny’s dormitory is not funny.

74. I must not point at Voldemort and say “I taught him everything he knows.”

75. I will not tell Umbridge “Voldemort says, ‘Hi,’” every time I see her.

76. I should not tell Cho Chang Cedric came to me in a dream and wanted me to tell her something, but I woke up before he did.

77. I must not intentionally mispronounce Cho’s name as “Ho”.

78. I should not tell Umbridge that I have a kitten named “Fluffy” she would like to meet. But I will anyway.

79. I will not pay Professor Flitwick to run around yelling “Help, they’re after me lucky charms!”

80. I must not convince Cedric to wear a red shirt on the last task of the Triwizard Tournament.

81. My name is not “Dark Lord Happy Pants” and I will not sign my papers as such.

82. I will not follow my Potions instructions backwards “just for the heck of it”.

83. I should never ask Harry if his “Scar Senses” are tingling.

84. I must not lock all of the Gryffindor and Slytherin in a room and see which house comes out alive.

85. I will not call the Dark Lord “Tommy-boy”.

86. As Stan Stunpike learned, impersonating a death eater doesn’t “get you chicks”.

87. I will not crush up booger flavored jelly beans and put them in Draco’s pumpkin juice…after this time.

88. I will NOT bleach Lucius Malfoy’s Deatheater robes.

89. I must not fill Umbridge’s room with flies and then tell the headmaster “She was looking a little deprived, flies are what toads eat right?”

90. I must not call Potions “Home-Economics” in front of Professor Snape.

91. Telling Lockheart that there’s something in between his teeth will NOT get you out of DADA.

92. Do not ask Snape how to make a love potion!

93. I will not enchant a scarecrow and suit of armor to skip through the halls singing, “We’re Off to See the Wizard”.

94. I will not hit on Hermione while Ron is in the same room.

95. Ron Weasley does NOT know Kim Possible.

96. I will not say, “What’s the sitch?” into the Order’s two-way mirrors.

97. I will not ask Snape who dumped him and made him so cranky.

98. A hug is not all Snape needs.

99. I will not splash water in Professor McGonagall’s face, expecting her to melt.

100. I am not allowed to set a troll loose because I think it needs some fresh air.

101. I can not call Professor Snape “the Sheriff of Noghtingham”.

102. I will not tell students that can’t see Thestrals that they are about to attack us.

103. Harry’s resemblance to Davy Croccet is purely coincidental.

104. Dropping a bucket of water on Snape’s head was only funny the first time…and the second…and third. But the forth time! No way.

105. I am not to sing “That’s So Raven” when passing Ravenclaws in the corridors.

106. I must not grind with my broomstick. (Tony Hawk style!)

107. I will not tell Hermione that the Hogwarts library has burned in a fire.

108. I must not tell Bellatrix that Voldemort got married.

109. I am not allowed to run my hands through Snape’s hair.

110. I must not tell Umbridge that some centaurs have invited her to a party.

111. I shall not tell Snape, “There is a thing called shampoo in the world.”

112. I must not yell “She-who-must-not-be-named is coming!” every time Umbidge walks down the hall.

113. I shall not say, “I heard that if you hug Voldemort he won’t kill you,” to the first years.

114. Professor McGonagall likes her milk in a glass, not a saucer.

115. Saying, “Here puss, puss, puss, puss, puss,” is not the best way to get McGonagalls attention during class.

116. Wolf whistling at Lupin when he walks by is not funny.

117. I must not bewitch the door to Professor Snape’s office so that it will only open if he says, “Business in front; party in the back!”

118. Convincing Peeves to go into suits of armor and say, “I am your father” isn’t funny.

119. Telling Slytherin first years that to enter their common room they must point their wands strait up and say, “Morsmordre” is just plain mean.

120. I will not bewitch Umbridge’s hand to take her special quill and write: “I am a pompous, ugly toad” 10,000 times.

At least, that’s what I’ll tell her.

In fact, make it 100,000!

121. When I see Professor Umbridge, I will not say, “There you are, Trevor. Neville has been looking all over for you.”

122. Dementors don’t like it when you walk up to them and ask if they are the Ghost of Christmas-Yet-To-Come.

123. When someone pulls Godric Gryffindor’s sword out of the Sorting Hat, I will not say, “You have acquired the Master Sword.”

124. Saying, “Accio brooms” while first years are having flying lessons isn’t nice.

125. I am not to ask, “Voldemort: boxers or briefs?”

126. I am not allowed to say, “Accio Hermione’s panties!”

127. Mad-Eye Moody’s moto is “constant vigilance” not “custard pudding”.

128. I must not moon Professor Lupin. Even if his nickname is “Moony”.

129. I will not stick Bill Weasley’s hair to the ceiling with a permanent-sticking charm.

130. The resurrection stone is not materia.

131. Voldemort’s nickname is NOT “Filthy Half-Blood”.

132. “Rub-on aphrodisiac” is not one of the twelve uses of dragon’s blood.

133. i will not buy professer snape head n shoulders shampoo for christmas.

134. i will not skip down the hallway singing, "we're off to see the wizard!" whenever i'm sent to the headmasters office.

If you have wasted precious hours of your life reading this random crap that gets you a few giggles well... YOU'RE JUST LIKE ME!


If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!


1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT? i honestly can't remember

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? paint

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? yep

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? anything BUT rap and classic

5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? 1:48 pm

6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? the HTTYD sequel

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? warm weather and the beach

8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? why do you wanna know?

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? 5'8"

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? only around people

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? i don't get scared of the dark. i get scared of what's hiding in it. D=

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? some person somewhere

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? first of all, I'm asthmatic, and second perfume is so gross it makes me gag!

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? green eyes, and clean (not greasy) hair

15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? pop the question right before the drop on a rollercoaster, and i get the ring afterwards =)

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? energy drink

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? PINEAPPLE FOR THE WIN

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? chocolate

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? a gecko

22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? friends or crush?

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? only in my left thumb

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? aahh! shopping! it burns!

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? i have 4

27. WHAT KIND IS IT? beagle named Lilly, gecko named Gizmo, and 2 guppy fish named Benji and Juanita

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? what kind of question is THAT?

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? a single rose and a box of peanut butter cups

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: 83

31. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES? i'm blonde

32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? my best friend Logan

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? teenage girls who bathe in perfume

34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? never left the east coast

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Reeses cups

36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? i look in the mirror every day, don't I?

37. FIRST JOB? i'm only 14!

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? (sigh) I'd rather not talk about it

41.WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE FILLING THIS OUt? feeding our neighbor's bearded dragon, Stitch

40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? only when the aliens put that chip in my brain

42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? my awesomely bright green eyes

43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? for a year, and now my smile is AWESOME

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? to go skydiving!

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? identical twins

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? uh... me

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Uh... I'd rather not answer that

49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? i don't see why it matters, just so long as it cleans your hair

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? chickenscratch

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? i enjoy all meat

52. ANY BAD HABITS? twitching

53 WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? i don't keep cd's in my room

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? that's like asking a chocolate addict if they want to go to Hershey, Pennsylvania

56. DO LOOKS MATTER? depends

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? i have a brother, don't i?

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? underwater, or at our beach house

60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? uh...

61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? i don't know. i don't live off my cell phone

62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? never

63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? are you kidding? that's my second freaking language! it comes more naturally than breathing!

64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? well, i think i have Vorpentitis, so i need some potatoes!

65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? must have humor

66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Wolfrunner

67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? OneRepublic

68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Mythbusters

69. WHAT WAS YOUR ACT/SAT SCORE? aww, if i told you, that would be showing off

70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? chocolate FOR THE WIN

71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? yep. all 15

72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? either Tuesdays or Wednesdays

73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #64? stupid test. there's no 19 or 20!

74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? i can't drive, but i've gone over 80

75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? duh. everyone needs a good laugh!

76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? my brother and sister watching TV

77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? milk

78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Logan

79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? eye color

80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? i can think of some good songs to make HTTYD AMV's to

81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? ducks swimming in our pool, and cats

82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? July (My birthday month) and March (HTTYD month)

83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? cancer (mine)

85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? blonde

86. EYE COLOR? green

89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? i normally don't eat fast food. I'm an athlete

90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? no

91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? How to Train your Dragon

92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? July 2 (my b-day), March 26 (HTTYD), and the last day of school

93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? guitar

94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? Don't really see why it matters, but I'm Republican

95. KISSES OR HUGS? i'm more of a hugger

96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? relationships, sure

97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? crickets

98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? well, i want a yellow convertable with the liscence plate: Vorpent

99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Maze Runner series

100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: roflmao


I'd take a bullet for you. Not in the head, like in the leg or something.

Worst. Idea. Ever. [pause] Let's do it.

People who investigate noises in horror movies deserve to die.

It's better to have loved and lost than to live with the physco for the rest of your life.

I've probably learned more from Google than I have from school

I'm not crazy. My reality is just different then yours.

I'm not easily distr. . .OMG! SHINY!

If you have ever woundered what it was like to be a character in a movie, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever woundered what it was like to be the opposite gender, copy and paste this to your profile.


How to Tell if You're a Writer

-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. ‘I wonder why I talk to myself so much?’)
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. ‘Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word ‘deliver’ could mean removing someone’s liver?’)
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, ‘Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!’
-If you live off of sugar and caffeine.
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else’s e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
-If people think you might have A.D.D.
-If you think it’d be cool to have A.D.D.
-If you start constantly talking in third person, past tense.
-If you think about making lists like this, and start giggling for no ‘apparent’ reason.
-If your friends don’t even bother to look funny at you anymore when you start giggling for no apparent reason.

-And finally, the number one way to tell if you’re a good writer: If you failed English 101.


10 Reasons why I Love How to Train Your Dragon

1. It's got dragons--hands down my favourite animal in it

2. Chris Sanders designed Toothless--he does NOT look like Stitch but he is simply adorable the way he was designed

3. It was the very first Dreamworks movie that didn't have any cheap toilet humor or pop culture in it

4. The plot was deep and intriquing

5. The soundtrack was absolutely amazing; I always tear up when I'm listening

6. The water looked real; in all the movies I've seen with scenes in the ocean, the water always looks so animated, and that completely distracts me from the film, but in this movie, the water actually looked like water

7. It had just the right amount of action, comedy, and romance a good movie should have

8. It was a fantasy movie that didn't have magic, which makes it more believable

9. The 3D parts don't jump out at you or hurt your eyes; they actually make you feel like you're there, flying with Toothless

10. It told the always touching story of friendship between human and animal--with a dragon, no less!


Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

this is person cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line :)


My OC dragon breeds:

Drifter Dragon:

Scales are emerald green, eye color is orange, fire color is green. This species of dragon has short, black horns. The dragon is small in size, with a short neck. It is most efficient in the air. A very unique quality of this dragon is that it has parachute-like wings, secondaries, and tail fins that allow an extended amout of drifting without flapping. This also allows effortless and fast flight.

Seashade Dragon:

Scales are deep blue, eye color is deep green, and fire color is purple. This dragon has no horns, and is large in size with a long neck. It is most efficient in the water. One of the unique qualities of this dragon are the venomous scorpion barbs running down most of its back. The poison is deep green and it paralyzes its victims. When the dragon falls asleep, the venom leaves its barbs and flows through the dragon's bloodstream, making the entire dragon toxic to any nocturnal blood-suckers. This dragon has fins on the back of its neck that allow the rider to breathe underwater by trapping a pocket of air. Prone to asthma.

Moonshade Dragon:

Scales are moonlight blue, eye color is purple, fire color is yellow. This dragon has a single set of long, pale-yellow horns. The dragon is medium in size with a long thin neck. It is most efficient in the air. A very unique quality of this dragon is that the scales actually GLOW in the dark. The luminescence is 100% equivilant to moonlight, hense the name. =)

Dagger Claw:

Scales are dark red, eye color is bright red, fire color is the normal red-orange that most dragons have. This dragon has a triple set of medium-lenght horns, that are usually brown or black. It is small in size, no bigger than a Night Fury or Drifter Dragon, and it has a neck about as long as a Monstrous Nightmare's. It is most efficient on land. A very unique quality about this dragon is mentioned in the name. It has large, 3-foot long dagger-like claws that can easily remove a rib from a human ribcage. The females are actually the deadliest.

Shadow Dragon:

Scales (if you can even call them that) are as black as the shadows of your nightmares, the eyes are bright red, and this hellish dragon has BLACK fire! This terrifying dragon has long black horns, shaped like elongated devil horns. It is of medium size with a medium-length neck. It runs in the shadows. A unique (and frightening) quailty about this dragon is that it has the ability to travel through the shadows and materialize wherever there are shadows. They are next to impossible to kill. After all, how do you kill a shadow? Summary: this dragon is frickin scary.

Death Darter Dragon:

Scales are the color of blood, eyes are red, and there's nothing spectacular about its fire. This dragon has a single set of medium-lenght black horns. It is medium-size and has a VERY long neck. It is most efficient on land. A unique quality about this dragon is its ability to shoot foot-long bone-spears from its mouth.

Black-Back Shredder:

Scales are black, eye color is yellow, and fire color is red. This dragon has a single set of long black horns. It is large in size with a long neck. Most efficient in the air. A very unique quality about this dragon is that it has not one but TWO sets of talons- one the normal way, and the other set coming out of its heels, facing backwards for maximum shredding.

Vine Whipper:

Scales are vine green, eye color is red, and it has normal fire. This dragon has a set of short, dark green horns. It is medium in size and has a short neck. Most efficient on land. A unique quality about this dragon is that it has the ability to use its tail as a whip, and it can also whip around and launch spikes, much like a Nadder. Territorial.


95% of people would panic if the Jonas brothers stood on the roof of a 3 story building and said they were about to jump. If you are one of the 5 who would get all of your friends, some popcorn, and a soda and scream "JUMP! JUMP! JUMP!" copy this

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your butt off

There are 3 kinds of people in this world. those who can do math and those who can't.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Keep smiling- it makes everyone wonder what your up too

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

Kids are the future. Be scared. Be very scared.

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in life's eye. and say 'How much you like lemons now, Life, huh? Huh?'

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.

I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.

I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind! but not my brain. I need that.

Therapy is expensive. popping bubble wrap is cheap... you decide.

Excuse me, have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Your weirdness is creeping out my imaginary friend.

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many and 'tics' as in the bloodsucking creatures?

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.

A idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

There's no 'I' in 'TEAM' but there's a 'U' in 'SUCK'!

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly

I did not hit you. I simply high-fived your face.

I didn't run into the door, my face decided to say hello.

I never finish anyth

People are like slinkies, basically useless. But it's still amusing to watch them fall down the stairs

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that it up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and 4 to reach out and slap someone.


20 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity:

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking Lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity: Send This In An E-mail To Someone To Make Them Smile!


JOKES!!!

One day a woman caught a magic frog while jogging. The frog gave her three wishes for catching him, but with one catch: everything she wished for, her husband would also get, only he'd get 10 times more than her. First she wished to be the most beautiful woman on earth. "Are you sure? Your husband will be 10 times more beautiful than you," the frog clarified. "Oh yes, I'm sure." ZAP! The woman was instantly beautiful, but she was still only the second most beautiful on earth, her husband being first. "My second wish is that I wish I was the richest person on earth," she told the frog. "You sure? Your husband will have 10 times more money than you." "Oh yes." "Okay, then." ZAP! Trillions and trillions of dollars appeared in a safe in the woman's house. However, her husband was granted with even more money. "What's your third wish?" the frog asked. "I wish for a mild heart attack.

A couple of strangers were drinking at a cliffside bar overlooking the ocean. Both of them look a little drunk, when one says to the other: "Hey, look at the wind whipping up the side of that cliff. It moves pretty fast. I'll bet I could jump off of the ledge, catch the wind in my coat, and get lifted right back up to the bar!" "No way", says the other guy, "you'd fall to your death." "Well, I'm going to try it!", says the first, and at that he walks over, stands on the ledge, and leaps off in a swan dive. Sure enough, he comes sailing back up in no time, and lands on his feet right in front of the bar. "I can't believe it!" says the second guy, "that's impossible" . So the first drunk does it again: he jumps off the cliff, catches the wind in his coat, and comes sailing back to the bar. "Go ahead", he says, "try it, it's great!" "Well, OK, I'm just drunk enough to give it a go", says the second fellow. So he climbs the ledge and leaps off the cliff, only to fall screaming to his death on the rocks below. The first guy walks back to the bar and sits down to his drink. The bartender steps over, looks him in the eye, and says to him: "You know, you can be a real jerk sometimes when you've been drinking, Superman".


DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION - RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER


Put this
(o)on your page
if you like music


It's the 50's, and a black man drinks from a white water fountain. A white man approaches him and says, "Excuse me, that is for whites only. You are colored." The black man then raises his head, and replies, "I was black when I was born. I'm black when I'm cold. I'm black when I'm hot. I'm black when I'm sick, and I'll be black when I die. You sir, are pink when you're born. Blue when you're cold. Red when you're hot. Green when you're sick. And purple when you die. Now who's the colored one?" Whoo-hoo! Go anti-racists!


... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS.. ... .sS.. .SS . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS... S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS... ,
... ... ... ...sS. ... SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .SSSSSSs.. ... SSs ,
... ... ... ...S. ... .SSSSSSSs .sSSS.. ... ..
... ... ... ... SS... ... SSSSS..SSSS... s
... ... ... ... SSs ... ...SSSSSSSSS ... sS
... ... ... ... .SSs... ... ..SSSSSsSSSS ... sSS
... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS. ..s SS
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... sS.sSSSSsSSSSSSSSSSSSSS S
... ... ... .sSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSssSSSSsSS
... ...sSs
... ..s... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..


50 OR SO AWESOME WAYS TO MAKE YOUR TEACHER WANNA BACKHAND YOU!!!

1. Walk into the classroom like a super spy. (keep your back on the walls as you walk, point your finger up like a gun, look around with shifty eyes, hum the mission impossible theme, etc.)

2. After everything your teacher says, ask why continuously.

3. If your teacher is yelling at a classmate, wait for them to finish their tantrum then ask” DOES SOMEBODY NEED A HUG??” very loudly.

4. If your teacher starts blowing up at you for saying that, simply reply, “wow I can tell you’re a blast at parties”

5. Sit in a corner and wait for everyone to stare at you. When they do, grab your head and scream “ THE LIGHT! MAKE IT STOP! ARGH IT BURNS!!”

6. Flick pieces of paper around the class.

7. When your teacher tells you to stop, cross your arms and say, “Your racist against paper aren’t you.”

8. Don’t do your Homework.

9. When your teacher asks you why you didn’t do your homework say “I dropped it while beating up this guy for saying you’re the worst teacher ever.” then sit there and smile sweetly.

10. When you have a substitute teacher, wait for them to write their name on the board. Then when they say hello my name is Mr./Mrs (insert name here), you stand up and say “PROVE IT!”

11. When your teacher asks why you were late say, “My goldfish died.” Then burst into tears.

12. When handing in your homework, write "This paper will self-destruct in 5 seconds." at the bottom.

13. When you leave the class bow and say, “May the force be with you, young one.”

14. When the teacher turns the light off, start singing opera as loud as you can. When they turn the light back on, look around pretending to be confused.

15. Whisper to the person next to you. When the teacher comes up behind you, scream “OMG GET AWAY! RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!!”

16. Walk into class dancing the Macarena

17. Tell your teacher you heard the other teachers talking about him/her in the staff room

18. Raise your hand and say "I totally agree!" after everything your teacher says

19. Spend the whole lesson trying to lick your elbow

20. Speak in French.

21. Come late to class in a Spider-Man costume; say there was "a disturbance”

22. When they tell someone to turn around have everyone in class do it as well

23. "The homework’s due now? Oh, give me a minute then."

24. Hand in an essay where every word is misspelt.

25. Run in the room screaming, “THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!”

26. When the teacher asks you why you are late, say, “The queen is never late, everyone else is simply early."

27. When a teacher asks you a question, say, “I’m sorry, the brain you tried to reach has been disconnected, please leave me alone or try again later, thank you.”

28. When the teacher turns on the overhead projector, scream “AAH MY EYES!!”

29. Tell yourself knock-knock jokes, then laugh loads.

30. Hide under your desk and yell “THE SKY IS FALLING!”

31. When someone knocks on the door, shout “OH NO, THEY’RE COMING FOR ME!”

32. Bring in a 4th Grader and says he’s your new pet.

33. In your technology lesson, when the teacher asks you what you are making, say a nuclear bomb.

34. When your teacher asks you a question, just stare at them.

35. Constantly talk to yourself in a low voice.

36. Purposely fall off your chair and make a big scene about it.

37. If you’re playing a really boring game, make a big deal if you win.

38. Glue all their scissors together.

39. Make paperclip jewelery. I.e. necklaces, earrings, etc…

40. Pull out one strand of someone’s hair and yell “DNA!”

41. Wear a sticker or a badge that says ‘I am retarded’

42. Talk to a pen.

43. Put your hand up in a test and wait for your teacher to come over. When they whisper what’s wrong, yell “NO I WON’T MAKE OUT WITH YOU AFTER CLASS!”

44. Yell “LIAR!” to everything they say.

45. Smile. All the time.

46. Draw a tiny black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, “It’s spreading, IT’S SPREADING!”

47. When a substitute teacher is taking attendance, say everyone is missing. Then, if they ask who you are, say ‘Your worst Nightmare’

48. When you know the answer, bounce up and down and go "OOOHH I KNOW THIS!!"

49. When a teacher calls on you say, "I forgot." To every question she asks.

50. If you have to blow your nose in class, blow your nose to the tune of your favorite song.

ADDITIONALS

51. When the teacher is not facing you, get the whole class to move their desks forward towards the him/her!

52. Hum throughout the lesson, but make sure you do not get caught!

53. When a teacher asks you a question... Reply "ERM, COMPUTER SAYS NOOO!!"

54. When the teacher makes a statement, stand boldly and shout "I OBJECT!!"

55. REPEAT the last word the teacher says but say it much louder!

56. While the teachers back is turned, everyone swaps seats!

57. If you are sure you haven't passed the test, write your phone number at the end with a heart!

58. When you hear a Police car siren from outside, run around screaming in the classroom shouting "Oh no, they're here. They must have found the body! HELP!"

59. When it's your turn to answer a question... Shout "NEXT!"

60. If you find a pencil on the floor, jump onto a desk, hold up the pencil, and yell, "LITTERING IS WRONG!! WHOEVER DROPPED THIS MUST BE PUNISHED!!" Then run around the room singing in a foreign language.


Birth Months: (bold yours)

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts.Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave andcaring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led.Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well.Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.


I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart


Words of Wisdom and Quotes

-Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

-Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them

-Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat

-There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives

-Be patient. Waiting allows the development of humility.

-Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good?

-Nothing makes us so lonely as our own secrets.

-Don't let fear rule your life since F.E.A.R. stands for False.Evidence.Appearing.Real. Either that or it stands for First.Encounter.Assault.Recon.

-Asking for patience is asking for more problems...

-Living in denial is living a lie.

-A weak opponent in the past can become a dangerous one in the future.

-Time is a great teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its pupils.

-A man with nothing to lose is capable of anything

-When you curse someone, you dig your own grave.

-Because our entire universe is made up of consciousness, we never really experience the universe directly we just experience our consciousness of the universe, our perception of it, so right, our only universe is perception.

-When outnumbered, don't think of it as outnumbered, think of it as a wide target selection.

-Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

-Silence is the most pleasing sound, so shut up.

-Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

-Learn to recognize when speed is not important. Race when being first is important; move at your own pace at all other times. It is not necessary to always strike the first blow, to provide the first solution, or to reach a goal before anyone else does. In fact, it is sometimes vital to strike the last blow, to give the final answer, or to arrive after everyone else.

-War does not determine who is right only who is left.

-Heroes come and go, but the stories never change, the battle between good and evil will rage on for millenniums to come, yet through out all time there is one thing that has never changed, evil never dies, and heroes never surrender!

-One who does not sacrifice anything cannot achieve anything.

-You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same!

-I don't hit people, I only Hi-5 their faces!


Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive

Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

If child abuse makes you sick and you think it's horrible and should be stopped, put this poem on your profile.


4 ways to be KICKED out of a supermarket:
HILARIOUS !!

#1: If you can, write "I see dead people..." on the typewriters.
#2: Unwrap all the chocolate bars saying,"I've got to find that golden ticket.."
#3: Put a Dora The Explorer doll in the middle of the store and if someone tries to pick it up, jump out and say,"SWIPER NO SWIPING!"
#4: Throw Skittles at people and shout, "Taste the Rainbow!!!!"


100 Things to do if bored during class

1. Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
2. Continually ask questions so that the professor can’t give homework
3. Answer the teacher’s questions in slow motion
4. Answer questions only with one word
5. Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
6. Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
7. Ask your professor personal questions
8. Every time the professor finishes talking clap
9. Eat paper
10. Talk very fast
11. Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”
12. Count your hair
13. Talk with an accent
14. Answer questions in a different language
15. Fake spasms
16. Pretend to have a vision like in That's So Raven.
17. Draw cartoon characters of your classmates or of the professors
18. Quote Terminator
19. Write out plans on how to conquer the world
20. Pretend to Choke
21. Pretend to be drunk
22. Tap your feet on the ground loudly
23. Raise your hand for every question your teacher asks you but answer “Oh, I forgot”
24. Pretend to slip
25. Wink at the teacher
26. Wink at random people
27. Keep nodding at the teacher
28. Smile the whole lesson
29. When the teacher enters the room give a low bow
30. Pretend to sleep and snore loudly
31. Take off your shoes and socks
32. Ask your teacher where the potions room is
33. Ask the teacher where he/she is
34. Fake Fart Sounds
35. Ask the teacher for his/her phone number
36. Spill your pencil case/box on the floor
37. Pretend to be sick
38. Pretend to have photographic memory
39. Fake flashbacks
40. Tell people “I’m Pregnant”
41. Ask out the teacher
42. Sit on the teacher's seat and when he enters the room say "This is my seat"
43. Ask your teacher if he/she is a vampire
44. Sing your favourite song
45. Twitter the whole lesson
46. Pretend to be Indian
47. Write a love note to the teacher
48. Talk to yourself
49. Snort Eraser dust
50. When the teacher enters the room Scream “next”
51. When the Teacher enters the room ask for a refund
52. On your assignments write very small or extremely big
53. Act like a nerd
54. Pull a “Michael Jackson” and paint yourself white
55. Put some red ink on a ruler, then slash your wrists with it so people think you cut yourself
56. Talk in slang
57. Get into a fight with yourself
58. Pretend you are a gangster
59. Pretend you are high
60. Bring a bag of flour to school and on your desk make lines of flour and attempt to snort them
61. Once the teacher enters the room get the whole class to sing the national anthem
62. Act high
63. Stare at one object in the classroom for one lesson
64. Rate the teacher
65. Ask your teacher what 'chakra' is.
66. Touch a Plug and pretend to get electrocuted
67. When the teacher is counting (Math), recite random numbers.
68. Talk the same time as the teacher does, just as he/she says it.
69. Make odd animal noises
70. When the teacher enters the room scream "AGHHH!!"
71. Write down everything the teacher says while repeating what they say
72. Laugh Stupidly for no reason
73. Act as if you were blind
74. Sit on the floor and beg for money
75. Put Porn/Horror books on the teacher's table.
76. Lick your stationary seductively while staring at a person
77. Begin Cussing at your self
78. Talk in gangster rap
79. Challenge your teacher to a rap battle
80. Pretend to chew gum
81. Point out the window and say “LOOK EVERYBODY SPIDERMAN” once every one looks say “oh too late he’s gone now”
82. Write a love note and leave it on the chair when you change period
83. Play air guitar
84. Ask the teacher what's happening in an anime (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece, Vampire Knight, etc.)
85. Say random facts about people
86. Go up to someone you have never talked to before then tell them “I have this problem for years now I can’t take it anymore”
87. Narrate your life
88. Beat box
89. Whistle at random things
90. Count random things
91. Pass notes to people you have no interest in
92. Ask personal details about people you would never have talked to
93. Play your favorite song in your head
94. Think of what the teacher’s life was like
95. Rhyme the last words of everybody’s sentences
96. Do stuff in slow mo, such as entering the room, sitting in your chair, finding stuff in your bag, answering the teacher, etc.
97. Search in your bag/binder for things you don’t have
98. Attempt to Find Nemo
99. Use photoshop and put your teacher's head on some random animal's body (Elephant, Hippopotamus, Spider, etc.), print out the picture, then leave the picture at your teacher's desk before he/she come into the room.
100. Ask the teacher personal questions


The Ten Commandments of Reviewing - created by FictionReader98 and Zoneshifter D
1) Thou shalt point out the parts you enjoy
2) Thou shalt point out the parts you disliked, if any.
3) Thou shalt point out the parts you utterly hated and explain why
4) Thou shalt write with good grammar!!
5) Thou shalt not give annonymous reviews, for the authors might want to reply to thine criticism!
6) Thou shalt not flame
7) Thou shalt write a four sentence paragraph minimum!
8) Thou shalt use constructive criticism!
9) Thou shalt review as much as possible, not merely once!
10) Thou shalt voice thine expectations.


7 Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."


45 Things to do during an Exam!

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


The Percy Jackson pledge:

I promise to remember Percy

Whenever I'm at sea

I promise to remember Annabeth

Whenever a spider comes at me

I promise to protect nature

For Grover's sake of course

I promise to remember Luke

When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Chiron

Whenever I see a sign that says ''Free Pony Ride''

I promise to remember Tyson

Whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side

I promise to remember Thalia

Whenever a friend is scared of heights

I promise to remember Clarisse

Whenever I see someone that gives me a fright

I promise to remember Bianca

Whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother

I promise to remember Nico

Whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others

I promise to remember Zoe

Whenever I watch the stars

I promise to remember Rachel

Whenever a limo passes my car.

Yes I promise to remember PJO

Wherever I may go


16 ways to perplex, confuse or just scare people in a Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.
2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes & then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.
3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darn thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes,turn it off again, & repeat the process for a good half hour.
4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evily.
5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.
6. Write a program that plays the "Smurfs" theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over & over again.
7. Work normally for a while. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.
8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top-secret Pentagon files.
9. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.
10. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
11. Type on Chatroullette for a while. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes at everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.
12. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.
13. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
14. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.
15. Point at the screen. Chant in a made up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRRR!" peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say. "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.
16. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.


You say Twilight
I say Harry Potter
You say vampires
I say wizards
You say Jacob Black
I say Sirius Black
you say Team Edward
I say Team Potter
You say Robert Pattison
I'll say "is Cedric Diggory"
You say Robert Pattison is hot
I say Tom Felton is HOTTER
You think Bella and Edward are the perfect dream couple?
I think that's Lily and James
You say Edward
I'll say Harry, now STUPEFY!


You may be stupid if...

You may be stupid if...

...you can't remember how to spell "IQ."

...you can't remember the number for 911.

...you just discovered your AM radio also works in the afternoon.

...you use correction fluid on your PC monitor.

...you fail Physical Education.

...you can not spell it.

...you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!

...you put braille on a drive up teller machine.

...you think Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.

...you think a pigpen is something to write with!!!

...you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles.

...you use your CD-ROM unit as a drink holder.

...you frequently misspell your own name.

...you've ever been stuck in a toilet seat.

...you walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade.

...it takes you two hours to watch 60 minutes.

...you often wonder who Ronald McDonald's parents are.

...you sell your car for gas money.

...you think Hamburger Helper comes with a man.

...you try thinking and nothing happens.

...you think a quarterback is a refund

...you think hot dogs are real meat.

...people nick-name you Homer.

...you cook Minute Rice for an hour!

...upon approaching a traffic sign that says STOP AHEAD, you reach over and grab your passenger by the top of the head.

...you lose $25 on a horse race and then lose $25 on the instant replay

...you were the one testing out the shark bite suit.

...you get tangled up in a cordless phone.

...you need to be reminded to breath.

...someone tells you to call 911, and you can't find the 11!

...you take a donut back cause it has a hole in it!

...you stare at an orange juice can because it says concentrate.

...you have to look "stupid" up in the dictionary.

...you sit on the TV and watch the couch.

...you tell your wife not to laugh as you point a gun to your head, because she is next!

...you think Yogi Bear played for the Yankees.

...you bronze a gold medal as a keep sake.

...you get lost in your closet.

... you take an I.Q. test and forget to write your name.

...you go around a revolving door looking for the door knob.

...you list the police department as a reference on your resume.

...you get fired from volunteer work.

...a hamburger is a cheeseburger, hold the cheese, to you.

...you run around looking for a quarter to call 911.

...you can't find the "ANY" key on the keyboard.

...you feel for one millisecond that you may have won the sweepstakes this time despite the fact that it is stamped in clear view "bulk rate."

...you try to look up a word in the dictionary without knowing how to spell it correctly, and you can't find it. Feeling like a ''genius'', that you realize that WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY made an error.

...you have to look on both ends to open a bottle.

...someone offers you a bagel and you reply, "No thanks, I already have a dog!"

...you turn the light on to see if it's dark.

...you take your chia pet for a walk.

...you wear your glasses while looking for them.

...you think it's funny when someone makes fun of you.

...you laugh at yourself when you step in dog crap.

...you come out of the shower and burp a soap bubble.

...you can't find your ringing phone.

...you ask someone "Can I ask you one question?".

...you're saying "I don't get it!" right now.

...you put the milk in the dishwasher and the glass in the fridge.

...you can't find this website.

...you see a sign with a cigarette with a \ through it and just think that the owner of that sign hates drugs, and then light a cigarette.

...you can't get online right now.

...you went to the library to read.

...you figured you were stupid from the last line you just read.

...you just threw your monitor out the window.

...you just walked outside to see if you had mail because your computer said you did.

...you went to a movie to catch up on some reading.

...you tried to get off drugs by pushing the "Caps Lock" key.

...you used your friends computer to get home by pressing "Home".

...you typed your soc. security number in just for fun

...you just played 53 pickup

...you put doritos in a tennis ball launcher and had one smack you in the head.

...you pushed the "emergency stop" button on an elevator to see what it did.


Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four questions to determine the level of your intellect. Your replies must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating or wasting time.

And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set...GO!!!

1: You are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in second place.
In which position are you now?

Answer:

If you answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. You overtook the second runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the next question try not to be so dumb.

2 : If you overtake the last runner, what position are you now in?

Answer:

If you answered second-last, once again you're completely wrong. Think about it...How can you over take the person coming last? If you're behind them then they can't be last. The answer is impossible!!

It would appear that thinking is not one of your strong points. You would make a good door-stop!!! Anyway, here's another to try, don't take any notes or use a calculator, and remember your replies must be instantaneous.

3 : Take 1000. Add 40. Add another 1000. Add 30. 1000 again. Plus 20. Plus 1000. And plus 10. What is the total ?

Answer:

5000??? Wrong again!!!!
The correct answer is 4100. Try again with a good calculator.
Today is clearly not your day!! Although you should manage to get the last question right...

4 : Marie's father has five daughters:
1. Chacha
2. Cheche
3. Chichi
4. Chocho
5. ????

Question: What is the fifth daughter's name?
Think quickly...you'll find the answer below...

Answer: Chuchu??? WRONG!!!!!
It's obviously Marie you ding-bat!!! Read the question properly!!!!!

You are clearly the weakest link...GOODBYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Something Americans might find interesting (and the rest of us will find funny!)

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ball-point pens would not work in zero gravity.

To combat this problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to over 300 C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Enjoy paying your taxes.


A good example of an idiot ringing technical support

Customer: "I got this problem. You people sent me this install disk, and now my A drive won't work."

Tech Support: "Your A drive won't work?"

Customer: "That's what I said. You sent me a bad disk, it got stuck in my drive, now it won't work at all."

Tech Support: "Did it not install properly? What kind of error messages did you get?"

Customer: "I didn't get any error message. The disk got stuck in the drive and wouldn't come out. So I got these pliers and tried to get it out and that didn't work either."

Tech Support: "You did what sir?"

Customer: "I got these pliers, and tried to get the disk out, but it wouldn't budge. I just ended up cracking the plastic stuff a bit."

Tech Support: "I don't understand sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, so then I got a stick of butter and melted it and used a turkey baster and put the butter in the drive, around the disk, and that got it loose. Then I used the pliers and it came out fine. I can't believe you would send me a disk that was broke and defective."

Tech Support: "Let me get this clear. You put melted butter in your A drive and used pliers to pull the disk out?"

(At this point, I put the call on the speaker phone and motioned at the other techs to listen in.)

Tech Support: "Just so I am absolutely clear on this, can you repeat what you just said?"

Customer: "I said I put butter in my A drive to get your crappy disk out, then I had to use pliers to pull it out."

Tech Support: "Did you push that little button that was sticking out when the disk was in the drive, you know, the thing called the disk eject button?"

( Silence. )

Tech Support: "Sir?"

Customer: "Yes."

Tech Support: "Sir, did you push the eject button?"

Customer: "No, but you people are going to fix my computer, or I am going to sue you for breaking my computer!"

Tech Support: "Let me get this straight. You are going to sue our company because you put the disk in the A drive, didn't follow the instructions we sent you, didn't actually seek professional advice, didn't consult your user's manual on how to use your computer properly, but instead proceeded to pour butter into the drive and physically rip the disk out?"

Customer: "Ummmm."

Tech Support: "Do you really think you stand a chance, since we do record every call and have it on tape?"

Customer: (now rather humbled) "But you're supposed to help!"

Tech Support: "I am sorry sir, but there is nothing we can do for you. Have a nice day!"


Why punctuation is important

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy--will you let me be yours?

Gloria

Dear John:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Gloria


More Men v Women stuff

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man smart woman =3D romance
Smart man dumb woman =3D affair
Dumb man smart woman =3D marriage
Dumb man dumb woman =3D pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss smart employee = profit
Smart boss dumb employee = production
Dumb boss smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

The Fundamental Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste,shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

CATS

Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow mutate during the night.

OFFSPRING
A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

What a woman says:
C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

What a man hears:
C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah, blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW.


What is written on a job advert, and what it actually means

"COMPETITIVE SALARY"
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM"
We have no time to train you.

"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE"
We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.

"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED"
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED"
Some time each night and some time each weekend.

"DUTIES WILL VARY"
Anyone in the office can boss you around.

"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL"
We have no quality control.

"CAREER-MINDED"
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way).

"APPLY IN PERSON"
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.

"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE"
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE"
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST"
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS"
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS"
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.


Why English is the hardest language to learn

1, The bandage was wound around the wound.

2, The farm was used to produce produce.

3, The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.

4, There is no time like the present, so he thought he would present the present.

5, When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

6, He did not object to the object.

7, The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

8,The oarsmen had a row about how to row.

9, he was too close to the door to close it.

10, A stag does strange things when the does are present.

11, After a number of injections my jaw became number.

12, The artist saw a tear in his painting and shed a tear.

13,She had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

14, An army chef decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Also...

There are no eggs in an eggplant, no apple or pine in pineapple.

Quicksand works slowly.

Boxing rings are square.

Guinea pigs are neither fromGuineaor are pigs.

Writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham.

If a vegetarian eats veg, what does an humanitarian eat?

A slim chance and a fat chance are similar.

So are quite a lot and quite a few.

But overlook and oversee are very different.

You fill in a form to fill it out.

An alarm goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, you see their light but when the lights are out you see nothing.


QUESTIONS...

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makesPanamahats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) TheCanary Islandsin the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

8) What color is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) How long did the Thirty Years War last?

ANSWERS...

1) 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.

2)Ecuador.

3) From sheep and horses.

4) November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.

5) Squirrel fur.

6) The Latin name was Insularia Canaria -Islandof the Dogs.

7) Albert. When he came to the throne in 1936 he respected the wish of QueenVictoriathat no future king should ever be called Albert.

8) Distinctively crimson.

9)New Zealand.

10) Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.


Read some very funny answering machine messages

These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.

1. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.

2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So, leave a message.

3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.

4. Hi. Now you say something.

5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?

7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!

8. Hi! John's answering machine is broken This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you.

10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your number and your reason for calling, and I'll think about returning your call.

11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

12. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.

13. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.

14. Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

15. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone right now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes doing it up and down, and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a message, and when we're done brushing our teeth we'll get back to you.


Check out some supposedly true and very funny answers in a written driving test

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school

Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying, "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.

Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.

Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.

Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?
A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.

Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.

Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.


25 Steps To Building A Webpage

1. Download a piece of Web authoring software 20 minutes.
2. Think about what you want to write on your Web page. 6 weeks.
3. Download the same piece of Web authoring software, because they have released 3 new versions since the first time you downloaded it. 20 minutes.
4. Decide to just steal some images and awards to put on your site. 1 minute.
5. Visit sites to find images and awards, find 5 of them that you like. 4 days.
6. Run setup of your Web authoring software. After it fails, download it again. 25 minutes.
7. Run setup again, boot the software, click all toolbar buttons to see what they do. 15 minutes.
8. View the source of others' pages, steal some, change a few words here and there. 4 hours.
9. Preview your Web page using the Web Authoring software. 1 minute.
10. Try to horizontally line up two related images 6 hours.
11. Remove one of the images. 10 seconds.
12. Set the text's font color to the same color as your background, wonder why all your text is gone. 4 hours.
13. Download a counter from your ISP. 4 minutes.
14. Try to figure out why your counter reads "You are visitor number 16.3 E10". 3 hours.
15. Put 4 blank lines between two lines of text. 8 hours.
16. Fine-tune the text, then prepare to load your Web page on your ISP. 40 minutes.
17. Accidentally delete your complete web page, follow with an extremely LOUD scream. 10 seconds {1 to delete, 9 to scream}.
18. Recreate your web page 2 days.
19. Try to figure out how to load your Web page onto your ISP's server. 3 weeks.
20. Call a patient friend to find out about FTP. 30 minutes.
21. Download FTP software. 10 minutes.
22. Call your friend again. 15 minutes.
23. Upload your web page to your ISP's server. 10 minutes.
24. Connect to your site on the web. 1 minute.
25. Repeat any and all of the previous steps eternity.


This is a really good beer problem information sheet

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.
PROBLEM: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
PROBLEM: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
PROBLEM: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
PROBLEM: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
PROBLEM: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
PROBLEM: You have fallen over backwards.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
PROBLEM: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
PROBLEM: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
PROBLEM: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
PROBLEM: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
PROBLEM: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, call taxi.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
PROBLEM: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
PROBLEM: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
PROBLEM: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
PROBLEM: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar


Actual answers given by students on their test papers

Men are mammals and women are femammals.

Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.

Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.

When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.

H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.

Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.

A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars and eight cuspidors.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.

Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.

Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.


Ponder these imponderables!

Imponderables

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What happens if you open it somewhere else?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

When they ship styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"?

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?

How can there be "self help GROUPS"?

Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?

Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?


HOW TO INSTALL SOFTWARE, the Truth!

1. Examine the software packaging until you find a little printed box that explains what kind of computer system you need to run the software. It should look something like this:

SYSTEM REQUIREMENTS
2386 PROCESSOR OR HIGHER
628.8 MEGAHERTZ MODEM
719.7 MB FREE DISK SPACE
3546 MB RAM
432323 MB ROM
05948737 MB RPM ANTILOCK BRAKING SYSTEM

NOTE: This software will not work on your computer.

2. Open the software packaging and remove the manual. This will contain detailed instructions on installing, operating, and troubleshooting the software. Throw it away.

3. Find the actual software, which should be in the form of either a 3.5-inch floppy diskette or a CD-ROM, located inside a sealed envelope that says:

LICENSING AGREEMENT:
By breaking this seal, the user hereinafter agrees to abide by all the terms and conditions of the following agreement that nobody ever reads, as well as the Geneva Convention and the U.N. Charter and the Secret Membership Oath of the Benevolent Protective Order of the Elks and such other terms and conditions, real and imaginary, as the Software Company shall deem necessary and appropriate, including the right to come to the user's home and examine the user's hard drive, as well as the user's underwear drawer if we feel like it, take it or leave it, until death do us part, one nation indivisible, by the dawn's early light,...finders keepers, losers weepers, thanks you've been a great crowd, and don't forget to tip your servers.

4. Hand the software to a child aged 3 through 12 and say, "(Name of child), please install this on my computer."

5. If you have no child age 3 through 12, insert the software in the appropriate drive, type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

6. Turn the computer on, you idiot.

7. Once again type "SETUP" and press the Enter key.

8. You will hear grinding and whirring noises for awhile, after which the following message should appear on your screen:

The installation Program will now examine your system to see what would be the best way to render it inoperable. Is it OK with you? Choose one, and be honest:
-- -- YES SURE -- --

9. After you make your selection, you will hear grinding and whirring for a very long time while the installation program does God knows what in there. Some installation programs can actually alter molecular structures, so that when they're done, your computer has been transformed into an entirely new device, such as a food processor. At the very least, the installation program will create many new directories, sub-directories, sub-sub-directories, on your hard drive and fill them with thousands of mysterious files with names like "puree.exe," "fester.dat," and "doo.wha."

10. When the installation program is finished, your screen should display the following message:

CONGRATULATIONS The installation program cannot think of anything else to do to your computer and has grown bored. You may now attempt to run your software. If you experience any problems, electrical shocks, insomnia, shortness of breath, nasal discharge, or intestinal parasites, you should immediately *!@!$)$%@&*)$*!#$_$.

11. At this point your computer system should become less functional than the federal government, refusing to respond even when struck with furniture.

12. Call the toll-free Technical Support Hotline number listed on the package and wait on the line for a representative, who will explain to you, in a clear, step-by-step manner, how to adopt a child aged 3 through 12.


Some rules to live by

Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors, and miss.

Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their maker.

Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

If life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into a watergun and shoot other people in the eyes.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

If you can't beat your computer at chess, try kickboxing.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Never buy a car you can't push.

Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you don't have a leg to stand on.

Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The early worm gets eaten by the bird, so sleep late.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

You are what you eat. So stay away from the jerk chicken.

Be nice to the nerds and geeks in high school -- you'll be working for them in the future.


Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree. The
boys don’t want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.


If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If at least once a week, someone misspells or mispronounces your last name wrong...copy and paste to your profile

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more that watch TV then cut and paste this to your Profile.

If you claim to have no life and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored and like to write stuff, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you would stand up for your favorite pairings and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name after mine: Mind Seeker, Dewdrop13, Medalis, Invisibool, DeaMii22, Mythscaenger, puckabrina-percabeth-fax101(OK my name makes it OBVIOUS), Silkmouse, Qille

If you obsessively check your email almost every 10 minutes, copy and paste this to your profile

If you like to write, copy/paste this into your profile

If you think copying and pasting things into your profile is fun copy and paste this in your profile.

If you know a jerk named Holden who derserves a good kick in the pants copy and paste this onto your profile.

Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, put this in your profile. I

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, put it in your profile..

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile..

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile


Who lives in a pineapple under the sea...(change channel) d-d-d-d-dora (change channel) Heeeeey its Fraaaanklin. That's what you get for waking up early!!!!

Teacher: " Who did the homework?"
Students: " Me" "Me" "Me"(Everyone)
Teacher: "Let me check"
Students: "Oh crap..."

Look at the keyboard, it has U and I together. Look underneath that, it says JK. Next to that spells LOL, and ends with a :P

I THROW MY HANDS IN THE AIR SOMETIMES SAYING- OMG ARE YOU OKAY? Wow, sorry dude. Didn't mean to hit you. :S

Mom: YOUR GROUNDED.
Teen: Psh. Fine I don't care.
Mom: Give me your phone then.
Teen: OMG IM SO SORRY MOM! I LOVE YOU!

Edward isn't a Vampire. He lives in the forest, he doesn't eat people, and he sparkles. He's obviously a Fairy.

Best friends.. You fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge; I get in a paddleboat and save your stupid ass.

ROTFLOLASHTINCBISAGO WOTTARUTDIAIOA - Rolling on the floor laughin out loud and so hard that i nearly choke but i see a glass of water on the table and reach up to drink it and im ok again

FIRE ALARM*
Year7: AHHHHH WHAT DO WE DO!???
Year8: Mannn I ain't leaving my stuff here!
Year9&10: WHOOOOOOOO!!!
Year11: *sigh*...

I dont have attention problems, I just... Do you like waffles?

'OGC' sideways looks like someone wanking!

Hiding your face while laughing, bcause the teacher's screaming

Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse XD

Some people come into your life and leave a footprint on your heart. Some people come into your life and you want to leave a footprint on their face.

Don’t double dip. It annoys some people. Triple dip. Piss everyone off!!!

Doesn’t care if Charlotte is a warm, tender, loving, motherly spider. If she ever comes anywhere near me, she's still getting the shoe.

Anyone can trip down stairs; you have to be a freaking genius to trip up them!

Ur mama so fat she ate Jenny AND Craig!

Ever wondered what colour Smurfs would go if you choke them?

Caution! Blonde thinking... could be dangerous or even fatal!

i didn't lose my mind, i just can’t remember where i put it

Is smiling... ...this should scare you :)

Has decided that from now on whenever someone asks me to do something I’ll say "Do you want fries with that?"

...why do people say expect the unexpected? Because isn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?

note to self: Do Not punch others in the face

I love being me; it pisses off all the right people.

Dear Monday, I hate you! Love from Me xo

For men who think.”A women's place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that's where the knives are kept!

On a scale from 0 to insane, I'm Batman!

Definition of pointless = chocolate in resealable bags!

SHOUTS: QUICK GET A SPOON! ME BISCUITS FALLEN IN ME DRINK! ITS DROWNING! ITS DROWNING! ITS...oh its drowned

Have you ever watched someone fall down the stairs?? There just like Slinky's except they make it the whole way!!

Is going to visit the purple kitty cats in her closet today. OH NO! The orange doggies are chasing the purple kitty cats! HURRY YELLOW UNICORN HELP THEM!

Do not interrupt me when I'm concocting evil schemes or i will bite you.

Has a brilliant idea of what to do for fun, next time she goes to the zoo she will start running towards the exit shouting RUN THEY'RE LOOSE!

Today, my friend showed me that the word OK looks like a sideways person. Then I pointed out that QK looks like a ninja. I win.

Is wondering if you could breathe through your butt like a turtle would you suffocate when you sat down?

Bubble wrap... addicting people since 1957

I've told them a hundred times--don't touch the whatchamacallit because it will make the doohickey not work with the thingamabob!

I watched a PG movie without my parents’ permission. What. A. Rebel.

I bet a lot of mimes choke to death because nobody believes they're really choking.

You squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice. You squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. So how come when you squeeze a cow, you get milk??? COW JUICE, PEOPLE.

Don't ever, ever, EVER!!! Touch a crazy woman's pudding!!! I will STAB YOU WITH A SPOON!

Was in the park flying a kite and a guy walks up and says "You flying a kite?" Nope, we're fishing for birds.

Crazy? I was crazy once,they put me in a round room- I HATE ROUND ROOMS, they remind me of worms. WORMS? I hate worms they drive crazy! CRAZY? I was crazy once!

Saw it... Wanted it... Threw a tantrum... And got it..

Hates when you walk through a spider web and you start waving your arms around in the air and screaming and from far away you look like a crazy person

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new children's iPod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

Says I must remember it is against the law to strangle and kill stupid people

People that know me think I'm quiet. My friends think I'm out-going. My BEST friends KNOW I'm completely insane!

I get distracted cleaning my room because I find such awesome things!

I'm gonna gather the purple penguins, pink elephants, green monkeys, and the red kangaroos and start me a SKITTLE ARMY! Hahahaha

Hi... can I borrow your pen? I need to stab you in the eye with it.

My logic may not always be logical to you but clearly my logic is logical because, logically my logic is logical. Any questions?

Well this is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!

Says if you were on a deserted island and you could only bring one item, how come people never say "a boat"?

Finding a needle in a haystack is simple... All you have to do is set the haystack on fire.

I am glad that McDonalds does not sell hot dogs. Seriously I could never order a "McWeiner" with a straight face.

To vegetarians: I eat the cows which produce the methane causing global warming while you eat the plants trying to fix global warming so who's really killing the planet?


A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what,
and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.


You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or MySpace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You look back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12) Copy and paste this into your profile if you fell for it. I know you did.


Female Comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" together
Woman: Really, I'd put "F" and "U" together.


OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense,who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


A winter statistic:

98 OF AMERICANS SCREAM BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD. THE OTHER 2 ARE FROM COLORADO AND THEY SAY, 'HOLD MY SODA AND WATCH THIS'.

NOW:

You're from Colorado if:

You'll eat ice cream in the winter.

When the weather report says it's going to be 65 degrees, you shave your legs and wear a skirt.

It snows 5 inches and you don't expect school to be canceled.

You'll wear flip flops every day of the year, regardless of temperature.

You have no accent at all, but can hear other people's. And then you copy them.

'Humid' is over 25.

Your sense of direction is: Toward the mountains and Away from the mountains.

You say 'the interstate' and everybody knows which one.

You think that May is a totally normal month for a blizzard.

You buy your flowers to set out on Mother's day, but try and hold off planting them until just before Father's day.

You grew up planning your Halloween costumes around your coat.

You know what the Continental Divide is.

You don't think Coors beer is that big a deal.

You went to Casa Bonita as a kid, and as an adult.

You've gone off-roading in a vehicle that was never intended for such activities.

You always know the elevation of where you are.

You wake up to a beautiful, 80 degree day and you wonder if it's going to snow tomorrow.

You don't care that some company renamed it, the Broncos still play at Mile High

Every movie theater has military and student discounts.

Everybody wears jeans to church.

You actually know that South Park is a real place not just a show on TV.

You know what a 'trust fund hippy' is, and you know its natural habitat is Boulder

You know you're talking to a fellow Coloradoan when they call it Elitches, not Six Flags.

A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you.

Your two favorite teams are the Broncos and whoever is beating the crap out of the Raiders.

When people out East tell you they have mountains in their state too, you just laugh.

You go anywhere else on the planet and the air feels 'sticky' and you notice the sky is no longer blue.


Kids Are Quick
_

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
_

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
_

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
(I Love this kid)
_

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
_

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
_

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
_

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
_

TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
_

TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
_


'Dream as if you'll live forever; live as if you'll die today'

'Don't believe everything you think'

'Feel free to insult my work, as long as you come up with an interesting insult...'

'A life -Cool- were can I download one of them from!'

'42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot'

'I intend to live forever. So far, so good.'

'Everything looks important in italics'

HISTORY: The tale of how many different nations, from all across the world, gained their independence from Great Britain.'

'I thought I was losing my mind, but then I realized that it's been gone for a while.'

'When in doubt, mumble.'

'If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.'

'Worrying works! About 90% of the things I worry about never happen!"

'With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.'

'Dyslexic Devil Worshipers Sell Their Souls to Santa'

Haikus are easy.

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.


You're a 90's kid if:

You can finish this "Ice ice _ "

You remember watching: -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life.

You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"

You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."

You remember: -TGIF -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World.

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You remember reading "Goosebumps"

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You said "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not

when everything was settled by: -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or ink abink a bottle of ink

when cops and robbers was a daily activity.

when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.

Captain Planet. He's a Hero.

You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the green ranger, were meant to be together.

You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular.

You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"

You remember watching: -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow on PBS.

You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.

You remember those Where's Waldo books.

You remember eating Warheads.

You remember watching: -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -3 Ninjas movies.

You remember Ring Pops.

You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.

If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"

When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.

You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.

Making those little paper fortune cookie things, and then predicting your life with them.

one word. . . Furbies.

You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet. And Windows 95 was the best.

You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.

Michael Jordan was a king.

YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out

You collected those Beanie Babies.

Carebears

Gak was the coolest stuff invented.

The old dollar bills.

Silver dollars, which were cool to have.

You remember a time before the WB.

You collected all the Troll dolls

If you even know what an original walkman is.

You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.

You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

You know the Macarena by heart.

"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said

You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"

You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.

You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.

Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Zunes & iPods . . . Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . . Before Spongebob

If you remember all of that then you're a 90's kid


You're Too Big a Harry Potter Fan when...

You mutter nonsense Latin words under your breath.

You call your least favorite teacher Snape.

Your computer says "You've Got Mail" and you run outside looking for an owl.

You actually ask for a broom for Christmas.

You mutter "lumos" under your breath every time you turn on a flashlight.

You sort everyone you meet into the four Hogwarts houses. (Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin.)

You were burned when you couldn't get through the flames of your fireplace.

You had to go to the hospital after you broke your nose running headfirst into the wall between platforms nine and ten.

You point a normal things like parking meters and say "Look at the things these muggles dream up!"

You try on every piece of silvery fabric your mom has to see if you turn invisible

Before getting up to get something, you always try to summon it first. Accio TV remote!

You were reduced to tears when you finally had book 5, 6, and 7 in your hands.

You refer to your Chemistry class as Potions

You spend hours tapping bricks in special orders hoping that a secret entrance to Diagon Alley will appear.

When playing chess, you yell orders to the chess players and get upset when they don't move.

You yell into the "tellyfone."

You get extraordinarily emotional every time you hear "Hedwig's Theme".

Despite being an American, you use the word "wicked" all the time because Rupert Grint does.

You get thoroughly overexcited every time you see a word somewhere that is distantly linked with HP (ie. Saint Hedwig's).

You name all of your pets after HP characters.

You know that Harry's birthday is July 31, 1980, Hermione's birthday is September 19, 1980 and Ron's birthday is March 3rd, 1980 even though it never said in the books.

You refer to Voldemort as "You-Know-Who", and your friends don't have any idea who you're talking about.

You were kicked out of the movie theater for standing on your chair, throwing your shoe at the screen and yelling "THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN IN THE BOOK!" over and over again, even for the most trivial differences.

You count the days until you're old enough for your apparating license, and everyone else thinks you're talking about driving


In Remembrance:
In Remembrance to Severus Snape,
A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,

In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
Who fought bravely to the very end,
And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother,
With many jokes,
He's got forever to think of them, right?

In Remembrance to Dobby,
Who was more free and full of love,
Than any elf, and most humans.

In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
The last real Marauder,
Who was not just a wonderful father,
An incredible husband and a brave hero,
As well as an awesome warewolf,

In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
Who died for the greater good,
And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora,

In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive,

In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,
But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end,

In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
Whose past and wisdom confused us,
Whose seeming betrayal shocked us,
But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end,

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra,
She deserved everything she got in the end,

In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
Who we really didn't know too well,
But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war,
So he must've done something good...
Besides stalking Harry,

In Remembrance to Hedwig,
Harry's first real friend,
Who lived and died soaring.


Your One and Only Wish

Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green.

3. your first initial?

4. your month of birth?

5. which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. your favorite number?

8. do you like California of Florida more?

9. do you like the lake or ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one.)

are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don't cheat--)

The Answers

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and you life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: you are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If you're initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and you love life is soon to blossom

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If You were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will for very well for you and you will discover the you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr-June: you will have a strong love relationship that will no long but the memories will last forever

July-Sept: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you and you will be glad for the change.

white: You will have a friend who completely confides in ykou and would do anything for you but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to you friends and you love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you Re-post this bulletin in one hours and it will come true before your next birthday!


I am the girl ... that does go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book or write. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, Brokenwolf13, Bookworm700, Sparteen, GothicShadowPhantom, PsychoticNari, KP100, EmberMclain13, GhostDog401, Turkeyhead987, Mary Penelope, Qille


1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): -Qilizzle-

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): -Green Wolf-

3. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name):-Eveqiite-

4. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (fav color, fav drink): -Blue Guava Juice-

5. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): -Black Gizmo- (WTF ???)

6. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fav fruit, and something that can go wrong)-Guava Solar Apocolyps-

7. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (fav color, pirate accessory): -Green Peg Leg-


Murphy's 15 Other Laws...

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.

2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

3. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night.

5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.

9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.

10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by
those who got there first.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.


Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.


WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DANGIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two. Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun. Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

Copy and paste this on to your profile if you got a laugh out of it


A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, “You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. Best friends Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good friend Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best friend Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds’ butt that left you.

A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.


Random Quotes and sayings

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

PMS - Possible Murder Suspect

As I lay in bed looking at the twinkling stars above me, I think, "Where the hell is my ceiling?"

I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on Ebay.

Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

I'm only mean to people who tell me to be nice!

Curiosity killed whoever got in my way.

I'm a bomb technician. If you see me running, try to keep up.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

Most teachers promote the three R's; Reading, 'Riting, and 'Rithmetic. Then there are those that promote three S's; Sit down, Shut up, and STOP DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

A good friend bails you out of jail. A best friend is sitting in the next cell, laughing, and saying, "That was fun, let's do it again!"

A good friend helps find your Prince Charming. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

Weird is running up and down the street in a bikini, rubbing butter all over yourself, and screaming "I'm a pretty muffin!"

When Life gives me lemons, I throw them back and punch Life in the face, really, really hard.

You say I'm not cool. But cool is the same as cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

People are like slinkies. Basically useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down the stairs.

When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you jump off a bridge, I laugh harder.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

To date, life has been a race between Software companies making bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe making bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

Smile. It scares people.

An overly-positive attitude may not be enough to solve a problem, but it sure ticks people off enough for it to be worth it!

There are easier things to do in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

I'm not so good with advice. May I offer a sarcastic comment?

The knack of flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

Whoever said words don't hurt have obviously never had a hard-backed encyclopedia hurled at their head.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will eventually kill me

Hell hath no fury that of a scorned woman. I'll help make sure of it.

When someone annoys you, it takes fourty-two muscles to frown, but it only takes four to extend your arm and whack them upside the head.

I get plenty of exercise; jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.

Life isn't passing me by! It's trying to run me over!

Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'

I didn’t escape from the mental ward! Those sirens are a complete coincidence!

Drive like you stole it!

Everyday I think people can't get any dumber. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.

When life gives us Jonas brothers, we throw Jonas Brothers back really, really hard and demand Green Day.

It's not PMS...it's you

I'm not mean, I just say what most people keep in their heads.

I don't need your attitude, I have my own.

I'm not mean, you're just a sissy.

You're a great friend. But if zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Be the type of woman, that when your feet land on the floor when you get out of bed in the morning, the devil thinks: "Oh, crap! She's up!"

Note to self: It is illegal to stab people for being stupid

I did not hit you, I simply high-fived your face.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me

That does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast!

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

I know who I am...your approval really isn't needed

Normal people worry me

Blondes do it better

I stopped fighting my inner demons quite some time ago. We're on the same side now.

I do not have an attitude problem! I have an attitude, but I just can't find a problem with it (note: do NOT use this on your Math teacher when she yells at you about your attitude. Not if you like living.)

Anyone: Go to hell!

You: I did. But Hell was full, so I came back

And to think you are the result of millions of years of evolution.

There's nothing that can't be fixed with duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

Don't upset me, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.


FUN FACTS

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?

A day without sunshine is like... night.

A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot

Don't walk in my footsteps. I walk into walls.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe striving to produce bigger and better idiots.

So far, the universe is winning.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

He who laughs last didn't get it.

When there's a will, I want to be in it.

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun

Don't make me mad...I'm known to bite at random!!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of a fast approaching train.


What have they been telling you? I'm prefectly normal! NORMAL, I SAY!!! *twitchtwitch*


Here are some 6 word quotes that describe your life:

"Random is a state of mind."

"Screw this, I'm moving to Sparta."

"Hallows, not Horcruxes. I am immortal."

"All I can say is... damn."

"Dancing barefoot on the world's edge."

"My life revolves around the moon."

"Don't tread on me. I'm poisonous."

"Yeah, I have wings! So what?"

"'Never stop.' I don't plan to."

"When and where are we going?"

"Hey there optimism. How're you doing?"

"All I need is ice cream!"

"Inspiration addict: it's in my blood."

"My super power is being awkward."

"Sun and waves, all I ask."

"Ready or not, here I come."

"Love. Forever. Music. Passion. Life. Priceless."

"The most optimistic of the cynics."

"Love life. It's all we got."

"I'm just going with the flow."

"...and then I found five dollars!"

"Okay. I knew it. I'm dead."

"They all stare because I'm awesome."

"I'm smiling... you should run now."

-Created by Qille


My OC dragon breeds (I just pasted them from above so you can see without scrolling back up and all that):

Drifter Dragon:

Scales are emerald green, eye color is orange, fire color is green. This species of dragon has short, black horns. The dragon is small in size, with a short neck. It is most efficient in the air. A very unique quality of this dragon is that it has parachute-like wings, secondaries, and tail fins that allow an extended amout of drifting without flapping. This also allows effortless and fast flight.

Seashade Dragon:

Scales are deep blue, eye color is deep green, and fire color is purple. This dragon has no horns, and is large in size with a long neck. It is most efficient in the water. One of the unique qualities of this dragon are the venomous scorpion barbs running down most of its back. The poison is deep green and it paralyzes its victims. When the dragon falls asleep, the venom leaves its barbs and flows through the dragon's bloodstream, making the entire dragon toxic to any nocturnal blood-suckers. This dragon has fins on the back of its neck that allow the rider to breathe underwater by trapping a pocket of air. Prone to asthma.

Moonshade Dragon:

Scales are moonlight blue, eye color is purple, fire color is yellow. This dragon has a single set of long, pale-yellow horns. The dragon is medium in size with a long thin neck. It is most efficient in the air. A very unique quality of this dragon is that the scales actually GLOW in the dark. The luminescence is 100% equivilant to moonlight, hense the name. =)

Dagger Claw:

Scales are dark red, eye color is bright red, fire color is the normal red-orange that most dragons have. This dragon has a triple set of medium-lenght horns, that are usually brown or black. It is small in size, no bigger than a Night Fury or Drifter Dragon, and it has a neck about as long as a Monstrous Nightmare's. It is most efficient on land. A very unique quality about this dragon is mentioned in the name. It has large, 3-foot long dagger-like claws that can easily remove a rib from a human ribcage. The females are actually the deadliest.

Shadow Dragon:

Scales (if you can even call them that) are as black as the shadows of your nightmares, the eyes are bright red, and this hellish dragon has BLACK fire! This terrifying dragon has long black horns, shaped like elongated devil horns. It is of medium size with a medium-length neck. It runs in the shadows. A unique (and frightening) quailty about this dragon is that it has the ability to travel through the shadows and materialize wherever there are shadows. They are next to impossible to kill. After all, how do you kill a shadow? Summary: this dragon is frickin scary.

Death Darter Dragon:

Scales are the color of blood, eyes are red, and there's nothing spectacular about its fire. This dragon has a single set of medium-lenght black horns. It is medium-size and has a VERY long neck. It is most efficient on land. A unique quality about this dragon is its ability to shoot foot-long bone-spears from its mouth.

Black-Back Shredder:

Scales are black, eye color is yellow, and fire color is red. This dragon has a single set of long black horns. It is large in size with a long neck. Most efficient in the air. A very unique quality about this dragon is that it has not one but TWO sets of talons- one the normal way, and the other set coming out of its heels, facing backwards for maximum shredding.

Vine Whipper:

Scales are vine green, eye color is red, and it has normal fire. This dragon has a set of short, dark green horns. It is medium in size and has a short neck. Most efficient on land. A unique quality about this dragon is that it has the ability to use its tail as a whip, and it can also whip around and launch spikes, much like a Nadder. Territorial.

DeathTurner:

Okay, I don't 100% own this dragon, but I own what it looks like! This is the dragon that can turn it's victims inside-out. It's got black scales, spines on it's back, and it's twice the size of a Boneknapper. It kills by grabbing the victim's mouth with it's huge front claws and ripping the lower jaw off. It then uses it's clawed tail and grabbs the base of the victim's spine from the outside. It uses it's tail to push the spine up through the mouth, turning the victim inside-out. Gross, right?


Hey peoples. I finally got off my lazy @$$ and rewrote my OC list! Here it is!

Sig (HTTYD): Sig is a rookie Healer, who is friends with Camicazi. She is about 22 and has long brown hair and brown eyes. She has a Drifter Dragon named Flameheart (also called Drift). She's been in the stories: "How Camicazi found Out," and "Time's Running Out." She'll probably be in "Dead by Dawn"

Drift/Flameheart (HTTYD): Flameheart (also called Drift by his friends) is a Drifter Dragon (see description above). He has a crush on Luna (see below) and his best friend is Snakebane (also see below). He likes to fight with Snakebane just because it's fun (and Snakebane is easy to beat). Drift has a very sweet personality, like a little puppy with green scales and big orange eyes who happens to be able to kick your butt if you mess with his friends. He has been in the stories: "Time's Running Out," and "Dead by Dawn."

Luna (HTTYD): Luna is a Moonshade Dragon (see description above). She has a crush on Drift (see above) (wink, wink). She is protective of her friends and is a wicked fighter. She has a very sweet and quiet personality, only talking and fighting when needed. She has really pretty light blue scales that glow like moonlight (which is why she's named Luna). She was in "Time's Running Out," and she plays a very key roll in "Dead by Dawn."

Snakebane (HTTYD): Snakebane is the prankster among dragons. He is a purple Monstrous Nightmare with blue eyes. He is always playing pranks on people and making jokes, and he always gets glomped by Brightclaw (see below). He and Quiver (also below) always seem to be fighting like an old married couple. Pretty entertaining, huh? He calls Toothless "Gummy," but he only uses that nickname either when there's tension, or they're about to fight/go to war/wrestle. He likes giving nicknames, and that is why Hiccup's nickname is "Snakebait." He is probably the... least intelligent of the group when it comes to knowledge and common sense, but he is fluent in speaking Spanish. He loves to set himself on fire, and he has asthma. He was in "Time's Running Out" and "Dead by Dawn."

Quiver (HTTYD): Quiver is a Seashade Dragon (you better know to look above if you're confuzzled). As stated above, she and Snakebane are always fighting. She also has asthma, but that's because she's an aquatic dragon. She and Stormfly are good friends. She has this dominant snarky fighting attitude about her that always makes you want to take a step back. She has a little brother that accidentally poisoned Hiccup once. She likes to threaten people with her poison, but most of the time she's bluffing. Most of the time. She is in "Dead by Dawn"

Brightclaw (HTTYD): Brightclaw (I didn't come up with his name) is an innocent light blue terrible terror with bright orange eyes. He developed an attraction for Hiccup, and he likes to cling on to Hiccup's prosthetic leg. He is always glomping Snakebane (he even broke Snakebane's rib once), and it helps that he can fly supersonic (well, not literally) when he's either excited or scared. Sometimes he stutters, and it's reallly cute. For some reason, he calls Snakebane "The Purple One." He was in "Time's Running Out," (he was that light blue Terrible Terror that wasn't named but glomped Snakebane none the less), "One Year Later," where you first really get to know him, and "Dead by Dawn."

Daniel (CWACOM): I can't say much because it would spoiler a good surprise, but he's basically a super jerk and bully. Really bad temper. Hates everyone. In "Cloudy Hope." (duh)

Emma (CWACOM): Pretty much Flint's sister. Mechanic, helps with inventions, sarcastic, and I think that's all I can say without spoiling more...

Caza/The Beast (HTTYD): Okay, Caza is a Dagger Claw, and it's the leader of LORD, League of Rebel Dragons, or the Rebels. Those are the dragons that still support the Green Death, which for some reason they call a Queen Dragon, even though THE GREEN DEATH IS MALE!!! Caza's brother Blyde (see below) was killed by Toothless during an attack. Once Ruthless (below) was killed, that was when Caza took over. She is a rare breed of Dagger Claw that has black scales instead of dark red. In "Dead by Dawn."

Ruthless (HTTYD): Ruthless is a dark blue Night Fury with yellow eyes. He and Toothless are fraternal twins. Toothless was forced to kill Ruthless because Ruthless was trying to kill Hiccup. Did I mention Ruthless and Toothless are poisonous? Ruthless uses his poison a LOT (so much that his teeth are stained green) while Toothless has only ever used his poison once (well, twice actually, but that chapter hasn't been written yet)! He was in "Time's Running Out" and is mentioned a lot in "Dead by Dawn."

Ombra (HTTYD): Beware! You might not know, but 'sombra' is Spanish for 'shadow' so if you take away the 's' you get: OMBRA! She is a Shadow Dragon (look up) and she is pure EVIL! She works for the Rebels and used to be best friends with the Beast. She lurks under the cover of the shadows, and she can travel THROUGH THE SHADOWS TO WHEREVER THERE IS A SHADOW!!!!!! For all you know, she could be behind you right now, and you wouldn't even see her... you would only see shadows... She can control the shadows to make something even darker, and she can materialize from the shadows!!! She is probably up there with one of the most frightning dragons out there!!! Their relationship to people is about the same as it was for Night Furies back before the end of the war; no one has ever seen one, no one can catch one, and YOU CAN'T KILL THEM! After all, how do you kill a shadow?

Rico (Rio): He's Nico's identical twin brother. He looks exactly like Nico, but the only difference is that he sometimes wears a plastic bottle cap, his voice is a little bit different (even though he can perfectly imitate Nico's voice), and he's right handed instead of left handed. He's a little bit taller and thicker than Nico, but you can't tell unless they're standing side by side. Featured in the story "Seeing Double"

Pike (HTTYD): Pike is a Black-Back Shredder. He was forced to become part of the Rebel movement because his father was killed by Toothless during a fight. He thinks Snakebane is really cool, and he's not completely loyal to the Beast.

Blyde (HTTYD): Blyde is a Dagger Claw and was the older brother of the Beast. He was killed by Toothless right after ripping out Hiccup's rib.

Doppler (HTTYD): Doppler is the young Scauldron that was forced to work for the Rebels. He's only there to put out the fires. I'm not sure if I'm gonna make him a real important character yet. Maybe. Well, he took on a Changewing three times his size, so that's gotta count for something.

Logan (CWACOM): Logan is Emma's best friends. Logan lives in the States and loves it when Emma comes to visit.

Muskett (HTTYD): Muskett is a black-scaled Terrible Terror with a few white scales on his chest. He has the same orange eyes as Brightclaw, his best friend. He's called Muskett because he's really fast; faster than Brightclaw when he wants to be. Muskett is pretty weird. I haven't decided yet to make him smart, funny, or dumber than a sack of rocks. His personality is still foggy, but hey, I've got a bit of time before I introduce him. =P

Gadget (Gremlins): Gadget is a Mogwai. He's Gizmo's twin brother. He's friends with a TON of Gremlins, including Sparky and Brain, and he's a bad guy, but he's not evil.

Echo (Gremlins): Gremlin. He, Fidget, and Twitch are triplets. No discription avalible yet due to spoilers.

Fidget (Gremlins): Gremlin. He, Echo, and Twitch are triplets. No other description avalible yet due to spoilers.

Twitch (Gremlins): Gremlin. He, Echo, and Fidget are triplets. No other description avalible yet due to spoilers.

Rita (Gremlins): She's a female Gremlin with black hair. No other discription avalible yet due to spoilers.

Graft (Gremlins): Gremlin. No discription avalible yet due to spoilers.

Harold (Gremlins): He's one of the two humans that run the Gremlin House. He handles the finances.

Aria (Gremlins): She's the other human who runs the Gremlin House. She basically handles EVERYTHING. She handles the tournaments and meals and first aid (yes, there's a big need for that).

Archy (Gremlins): Gremlin. No discription avalible yet due to spoilers.

Chaff (Gremlins): Big, dumb, mean Gremlin. That's all I can give away.

Arroyo (Gremlins): Gremlin. No description avalible due to an undeveloped personality.

Ernesto (Rio): Scarlet Macaw who owns the Branch. Good friends with Nico and Pedro.

Celeste (HTTYD): Celeste is 18 years old, she's a really good archer, and her dragon is Luna. She has fair skin, white-blonde hair and watery-blue eyes. She's very much like her dragon; shy, quiet, and a wicked fighter when her friends are in danger.


Guys, I'm f*ing sick of this. I'm almost 20 and haven't been able to score a better job than a f*ing cook at a local fast food joint. What makes it worse is that I live in a small town so business is pretty limited, and where I work is the only place that'll hire high school graduates. I'd get the hell out of this town if I could actually drive, but I've failed every damn test I've ever taken. I'm socially awkward, even my only other co-worker f*ing hates my guts. I have repressed lust for one of my best friends too; she's athletic, smart, and a gorgeous southern belle. I love her. You know what it's like; I've been friend zoned real hard. She's my only real friend, besides this one kid, who I'm pretty sure is only hanging around me because he is mentally challenged. I guess he's the only one that can tolerate me. And what makes this all f*ing worse is that I live in a pineapple under the sea.

Haha, get it? If you got it, copy and paste this and add your name. Qille,


Okay, I just got a pet rock, and here's how to take care of it:

Your pet rock and you.

Your pet rock will be a devoted friend and companion for many years to come. Rocks enjoy a rather long life span so the two of you will never have to part-at least not on your pet rock's account. Once you have transcended the awkward training stage your rock will mature into a faithful, obedient, loving pet with but one purpose in life-to be at your side when you want it to, and to go lie down when you don't.

A pet rock is perfect for people who hate animals, are allergic to animals, or who are not allowed to keep animals. When you own a pet rock you haver have problems with leash law violations, you'll never have to clean up nasty messes, and your pet will haver keep you and the neighbors awake at night. Pet rocks are welcome anywhere!

SECTION ONE

Simple obedience.

Come.

It is essential that your pet rock learn this command. A rock that doesn't come when it's called will cause its owner endless embarassment. To teach the command COME, place your rock on the floor or ground and take a few steps backward. Next, bending over from the waist, place your hands upon your knees and face your rock. Now, with firm authority, say COME PEDRA. (If you have not named your rock Pedra you may wish to say something else.) Repeat the command, COME PEDRA.

Assuming your rock is normal, it will probably now respond.

Start again.

Bending over from the waits, face your rock, clap your hands, and let your face light up as you cay, COME PEDRA, C'MON FELLA, HERE GIRL, and stuff like that. Now, start walking slowly towards your rock. Incredibly, as you walk toward your rock, you will notice that it actually is coming closer. This means your pet rock is learning to command, COME.

Praise your rock and give it a pat of approval.

Stay.

The next command to teach your rock is STAY. It is very important that your pet rock learn this command as it is dosconcerting to have a rock that will wander around while you are shopping for groceries or having your hair done.

Return to your training area and set your rock upon the floor or ground. Look at your rock intently, like you really mean business, and give the command, STAY. Surprisingly, most rocks have no difficulty learning this command and respond quite obediently the first time they hear it.

Repeat the command, STAY, and slowly back away from your rock. If your rock should move, and this is highly unlikely, shout the command while gesturing dramatically with the palm of your outstretched hand. In no time at all your pet rock will be responding to this obedience command each and every time. With further patience you can train your rock to STAY by using only the hand signals.

Sit.

This is not a difficult command to teach a pet rock as most rocks spend the bulk of their time sitting around anyways. However, a refresher course is certainly in order since you will want your rock to sit when you want it to, not when it wants to.

Place your rock in its training area and give the command, SIT. Many rocks will attempt to deceive you by lying down, thinking that you won't know the difference. This should not be encouraged! If you say, SIT, then your rock should sit, and that's all there is to it.

Here is a simple method to ensure your pet rock always obeys your commands:

Repeat the order, SIT, and slowly walk away from your rock. Now, hide in another room and, from time to time, peek in on your rock to make sure it hasn't moved. If it lies down, when it should be sitting, storm into the room and shout, BAD ROCK, BAD ROCK! Your pet rock will know it has displeased you and will return to the sitting position. It will also know who's the boss!

Once your pet rock learns the command, SIT, add the command, STAY. Your rock will now remain sitting until further notice.

Down.

It would be cruel to leave your rock in the sitting position forever. Therefore, it is necessary that you teach it the command, DOWN. After sitting for a long period of time your rock will appreciate the chance to relax. It is also nice, when you have house guests, to own a pet rock that will lie, unobtrusively and lovingly, at your feet.

Teaching the command, DOWN, is best accomplished in conjunction with the command, SIT. After your pet rock has been in the sitting position for a while, give it the command, DOWN. If you've made a big fuss about your rock sitting properly it may be reluctant to move. Place your foot upon your rock and push it firmly into the carpet or dirt. It won't take long before your rock understands what you want it to do. DOWN is another of the training commands that most rocks respond to with a minimum of teaching. It is in a pet rock's nature that it learns to get down so easily.

Praise your rock and give it a gently, reassuring hug.

Stand.

You're a little confused if you think a pet rock can be taught to STAND. A rock has no feet.

Heel.

It is extremely unusual to see a rock strolling around unaccompanied. There's a very good reason for this. Most pet rock owners have had the patience and good judgment to teach the command, HEEL.

To teach your pet rock to HEEL, simply follow these easy steps. First, place your pet rock on the floor or ground directly behind your right heel. Next, give the command, HEEL, and stand aboslutely still. Slowly, without moving your feet, turn and look down at your rock. You will be both pleased and amazed to see it is still there, right where you want it to be, directly behind your right heel. Your pet rock has learned the command.

Praise your rock.

SECTION TWO

Amusing Tricks.

Few pets are more anxious to please their masters than are pet rocks. It is surprisingly easy to teach your rock cute little tricks that will entertain you and your friends for hours.

Roll Over.

Your pet rock will learn this trick the very first time you give it a lesson. That statement may be hard to believe but it is, nevertheless, quite true.

The best place to teach your pet rock to ROLL OVER is on the side of a hill. Place your rock on the ground at the top of a hill and give the command, ROLL OVER. Now, let go of your rock. It's that simple!

Your rock will roll end-over-end and will not stop until it tires of the game. Pet rocks usually get tired of the game when they reach the bottom of the hill. Follow your rock and praise it profusely. This praise will make your pet rock very happy and it will repeat the trick as soon as you return it to the top of the hill.

You will tire of this trick long before your pet rock does.

Play Dead.

Your pet rock will take to this trick like a duck takes to water. It is one of the most entertaining tricks a rock can learn, and a trick that is sure to get many affectionate laughs and approving glances from you and your friends.

Take your pet rock to its training area and, when you have its undivided attention, give the command, PLAY DEAD. If your rock is like most rocks it will not have to be told more than once. Immediately, it will go completely stiff as though rigor mortis has set in, and will remain in this posture until you give a different command.

Rocks enjoy this trick so much that often, when you're not even looking, they'll actually practice it on their own. It's not unusual to walk into a room and see a pet rock playing dead.

Shake Hands.

Don't be ridiculous. You can't teach a rock to shake hands.

Fetch.

To teach your pet rock to FETCH, throw a stick or a ball as far as you can. Next, throw your pet rock as far as you can. Rarely, if ever, will your pet rock return with the object, but that's the way it goes.

Attack Training.

A rock is a loyal, devoted pet that can easily be trained to protect you and your family. Woe be to the burglar or prowler who ventures into the home guarded by a pet rock-or the mugger who attempts to accost a pet rock's master.

There are two basic attack methods to teach your pet rock.

1.) Long Distance Attacks

2.) Close Range Attacks

Long Distance Attacks.

In those instances when your adversary is at a distance (such as when a bully kicks sand in your face on the beach and keeps on running), your pet rock will respond to the challenge instantly and effectively in assuring that it never happens again. First, wipe the sand from your eyes. Next pick up your pet rock. Shout the command, ATTACK!, and throw your rock at the bully with all your might. This method of protection is sure-fire and results are guaranteed, although you may want to practice your aim before attempting this maneuver.

Close Range Attacks.

If you are threateded at close range always use the Close Range Attack Method; it is the ultimate form of personal protection. The element of surprise enters into this attack method, thereby making it doubly effective.

When the adversary approaches within arm's length and demands all your money, credit cards, and other valuables follow these easy steps:

Reach into your pocket or purse as though you were going to comply with the mugger's demands. Extract your pet rock. Shout the command, ATTACK. And bash the mugger's head in.

Pet rocks really seem to enjoy this exercise and, in most cases, come away from the attack little the worse for wear.

NOTE:

Owners of Attack Trained pet rocks have a responsibility to society to use their dangerous pets for protection only, and not for instigating trouble of any kind.

In closing...

As the owner of a pet rock you have assumed a responsibility to love and care for this new addition to your family. If your rock should misbehave, be patient.If it should cause your problems, be forgiving. Under no circumstances should you turn your pet rock loose. The world is already overcrowded with discarded, unwanted rocks, and millions must be destroyed each year. These poor, unfortunate rocks meet brutal ends in roadbeds, cement mixers, or as land fill. Don't allow your pet rock to meet an untimely demise at the bottom of an obscure pile of rubble. Remember; if you take care of your pet rock, your pet rock will take care of you.

If you used this to train your pet rock, or this encouraged you to adopt a rock, copy it and add your name- Qille,


[1] I need to tell you a secret LOOK AT 5

[2] The answer is LOOK AT 11

[3] Dont get mad LOOK AT 15

[4] Calm down don't be mad LOOK AT 13

[5] First LOOK AT 2

[6] Dont be that angry LOOK AT 12

[7] I just wanna say hi

[8] What I wanted to tell you is...THE ANSWER IS ON 14

[9] Be patient LOOK AT 4

[10] This is the last time I'm going to do this LOOK AT 7

[11] I hope you're not mad when I say this LOOK AT 6

[12] Sorry LOOK AT 8

[13] Don't be getting a hype LOOK AT 10

[14] I dont know how to say this LOOK AT 3

[15] You must be really mad LOOK AT NUMBER 9


Six truths in life

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time: a physical imposibility

2. All idiots, after reading this will try it

3. And discover that it's a lie

4. You are smiling now because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post this on your profile for another idiot to see.

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face.

I sincerely apologize about this but I am an idiot and i needed company =)

If you count as an idiot, post this onto your profile!


An apple an day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

If at first you don't suceed, skydiving isn't for you.

Change is inevitable... Except from a vending machine.

I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous.

Join the dark side, we have cookies.

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about the cookies?

Come to the light side, we have PUDDING!

Welcome to the light side, hehe, sorry, but we ran out of pudding...

I'm not always a dork- sometimes I'm asleep.

I'm not insensitive, I just don't care.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I'm not suffering from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

Some say the glass is half empty, others half full, all's I want to know is who the Dark Forest is drinking my water!

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice? Hmm...I wonder...

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and demand for chocolate!

There are three types of people; those who can count, and those who cant.

History lesson: Dinosaurs didn't go extinct, Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Last night I lay in bed and look at the sky, and thought: I'm too old for glow in the dark stickers.

The only reason why I'm here is because heaven wouldn't have me and hell was afraid I'd take over.

A good girl is just a bad girl who's never been caught.

Who doesn't love comebacks that make the other person sound stupid?

VERY FEW PERSONAL PROBLEMS CAN'T BE SOLVED THROUGH THE SUBTLE APPLICATION OF HIGH EXPLOSIVES!

Taste the rainbow- eat crayons.

There are three types of people, those who can count and those who can't.

I ran with scissors- AND LIVED!

Slinky Escalator = Endless fun!

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy off of.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I'm not a complete idioit- some part are missing.

Sometimes I wonder, "Why is that frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

I see regular people- RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Conciousness: That annoying time between naps.

A secret admirer is only a stalker with a stationary.

If you don't like my driving, stay off the sidewalk.

You say phsyco like it's a bad thing...

Stupidity killed the cat, curiousity was framed.

People are like slinkies; basically useless, but ever so fun to watch fall down stairs.

I find 'good morning' a contradiciton of terms.

What happens if someone is scared to death twice?? Hmmm I wonder...

CUTE BUT PHSYCO- THINGS EVEN OUT.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em.

Hell issued a restraining order on me... Oh the fun to be had!

You're just jealous that the voices only talk to me.

What you might call stupidity, I call selective understanding.

I would be more scared if you were aiming for the court next to me.

If you're color blind, eating sweets must be a completely different experience; "Come on skittles, give me red... LEMON DARNIT!"

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES... IT PISSES THEM OFF.

I'm not so good with the advice, can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

The voices in my head may not be real, but they sure have good ideas...

Ooops! Did my sacasm hurt your feelings?

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

One day we'll look back on this, laugh nevously, and change the subject.

I intend to live forever... So far so good.

Old enough to know better, young enough to do it again.

Sure I have super powers! I just don't wanna show you.

Embrace your inner rebel; DON"T SIT UP STRAIGHT!!!

You're awesome! But when the zombies come, I'm tripping you.

I'M NOT WEIRD... JUST PLOTTING...

I don't obsess, I think intensly.

Smile; it makes others wonder what you're up to.

When I go, I want to die peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep- not screaming in absolute terror, like the passengers in his car.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never triend to slam a revolving door.

Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried.

IT HAPPENS... BUT MOSTLY TO ME, SO DON'T WORRY.

You mess with me, you mess with a trailer park full of drunken lunatics. With guns.

Life was so easy when all boys had cooties.

I teach you to lie cheat and steal. And the moment I'm gone you stand in line.

Got Mirth?

Do you ever wonder where eraser bits go??

Silence is golden. Ductape is Silver.

Not all of those who wander are lost. - J. R. R. Tolkien

I don't have a short attention sp- Ohhhh, look a kitty;

Chaos, panic, and pandemonium. My work here is done.

I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead.

"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends." - Luna Lovegood (my long lost twin...)

Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey.

"Hon, we live in a trailer park. Tackiness is our charm."

"Make way for the heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..." - Fred and George

A friend will help you up when you fall, a best friend will take your ungraceful, muddy photo and send it to all of the people you know.

You always said tomorow would be a better day... ... ...I guess tomorow never came.

Did it hurt when I fell from heaven?... No but it hurt when they clipped my wings for being the devil.

Why does a Rose represent Love, when a rose always dies?

You always said tomarrow would be a better day; I guess tomorrow never came.

I ran out of sick days, so I called in dead.

Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

Forgive your enemies, just don't forget their names.

It's you and me against the world, we attack at dawn.

When someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles to frown about it, but only 4 to reach out and punch them. HARD.

(I already had about half of these, but the ones I didn't have were too funny to ignore and I was too lazy to separate them!) (So take that!)


A Dad's Poem

Her hair was up in a ponytail, and her favorite dress was tied with a bow. Today was Daddy's Day at school, and she couldn't wait to go. But her mommy tried to tell her, that she probably should stay home. Why the kids might not understand, if she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; she knew just what to say. What to tell her classmates of why he wasn't there today. But still her mother worried, for her to face this day alone. And that was why once again, she tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school eager to tell them all. About a dad she never sees a dad who never calls. There were daddies along the wall in back, for everyone to meet. Children squirming impatiently, anxious in their seats.

One by one the teacher called a student from the class. To introduce their daddy, as seconds slowly passed. At last the teacher called her name, every child turned to stare. Each of them was searching, for a man who wasn't there.

"Where's her daddy at?" she heard a boy call out. "She probably doesn't have one," another student dared to shout. And from somewhere near the back, she heard a daddy say, "Looks like another deadbeat dad, too busy to waste his day."

The words did not offend her, she smiled up at her Mom, And looked back at her teacher, who told her to go on. And with hands behind her back, slowly she began to speak. And out from the mouth of a child, came words incredibly unique.

"My Daddy couldn't be here, because he lives so far away. But I know he wishes he could be, since this is such a special day. And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know. All about my daddy, and how much he loves me so.

"He loved to tell me stories, he taught me to ride my bike. He surprised me with pink roses, and taught me to fly a kite. We used to share fudge sundaes, and ice cream in a cone. And though you cannot see him; I'm not standing here alone.

"'Cause my daddy's always with me, even though we are apart. I know because he told me, he'll forever be in my heart." With that, her little hand reached up, and lay across her chest. Feeling her own heartbeat, beneath her favorite dress.

And from somewhere in the crowd of dads, her mother stood in tears. Proudly watching her daughter, who was wise beyond her years. For she stood up for the love of a man not in her life. Doing what was best for her, doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back down, staring straight into the crowd. She finished with a voice so soft, but its message clear and loud. "I love my daddy very much, he's my shining star. And if he could, he'd be here, but heaven's just too far...

"You see he was a fireman and died just this past year. When airplanes hit the towers and taught Americans to fear. But sometimes when I close my eyes, it's like he never went away." And then she closed her eyes, and saw him there that day.

And to her mother’s amazement, she witnessed with surprise; A room full of daddies and children, all starting to close their eyes. Who knows what they saw before them, who knows what they felt inside. Perhaps for merely a second, they saw him at her side.

"I know you're with me Daddy," to the silence she called out. And what happened next made believers, of those once filled with doubt. Not one in that room could explain it, for each of their eyes had been closed. But there on the desk beside her, was a fragrant long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for a moment, by the love of her shining star. And given the gift of believing, that heaven is never too far. ‘They’ say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

(This poem made Qille cry)


FRIENDSHIP

1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a squirrel with rabies.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use littler words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you.

9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend.'


95% of all teens would go into a panic if the Jonas brothers were on a 100 foot building about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 5% who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "JUMP IDIOTS, JUMP!!" (I'd also be taking photos for those unfourtunate enough to miss the whole thing...)

97% of all teens would go into panic if they saw Robert Pattinson on a 100 foot building about to jump. Copy and paste this if you are one of the 3% who brought popcorn and invited friends while yelling "DO A FLIP!!" (Wouldn't take photo's... too lame. GRAB THE VIDEO CAMERA!!!!!!)


What do the characters think of you?

Harry: She is really hot. And funny. And TOTALLY AWESOME! Ron: drools
Hermione: Slaps Ron She is clever, she just doesn't pay much attention to her studies. She's always plotting some prank with Fred and George.
Fred: My totally hot and hilarious girlfriend. Right now we're planning to turn Snape's hair pink and put a spell on him to make him do the tango with Umbridge! George: Oi, Fred, she's mine!! Starts a sissy fight with Fred Cedric: Smokin' hot and a good Quiddich player too! Luna: She told me that she doesn't believe in Nargles, but otherwise she's quite nice.
Draco: Entranced by your eyes Incredibly sexy..wait, I meant to say she's a hideous blood traitor!!! Voldie: Eew!! A Gyffindor!!! Hides in the corner clutching his Hello Kitty doll Dumbledore: Has a lot of potential, but doesn't get great marks. Wonderful girl though!

Harry: She's really nice and cute, and the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs...(stares off daydreaming) Ron:Great fun to have around, and she always pranks the slytherins! Shes great, really. Hermione:She could study a bit more but other than that im the same with ron. Ginny:It seems like harry is a little bit too interested in her, but ill get over it. She reminds of a big sister. George: I didnt say this, but fred fancys her...i mean it!
Fred:She always helps us prank people and she is hot! I think i may ask her out Malfoy: Pretty i guess, i would ask her out if she was in slytherin. But shes way too happy all the time. Pansy:Same with Draco, but not the whole dating part haha Bellatrix: Filthy spoiled brat. Voldy:Do we have to waste our time talking about a bloody mudblood!

Harry: really smart. She helps me and Ron with homework. Ron: she's a lifesaver! Hermione:BFFs!!! Fred/George:we would've pranked her but she outsmarted us. Draco:I wish I could get her to help me with my homework.
Voldie: to smart to be a death eater. Dumbledore: top student!!

Harry: She helps me with homework. Ron: She may be even smarter than Hermione! It's like she's a walking library. Hermione: We study together all the time! She's one of my best friends. Fred: She's totally my girlfriend.
George: No, she's mine! Ginny: She has a great personality. We talk all the time. We're totally BFFs. Neville: She's really pretty and nice, but she'll never see me as more than a friend. sighs Draco: Damn, she's fine. Father will approve of a Ravenclaw, right? Pansy: SHE'S TRYING TO STEAL DRACO FROM ME. That *. Snape: Really good at potions, but she has a big mouth that never stops talking. Dumbledore: One of my best students!

Harry- She's really funny and a great friend! Ron- She's like Fred and George in girl form.. Hermoine- She's doesn't take too many things seriously
Ginny- My best friend! Neville- She's too popular to notice me :(
Fred- Goodbye Angelina, hello new girlfriend! George- No Fred, she's MINE! Cedric- Sure, I'd date her. Pansy- Gryffindor? Please. Draco- Ugh Voldemort- She's hilarious! Oh, but, yeah she's a gryffindor...

Harry: Hm.. I don't really know her, but she seems pretty nice, and not bad looking either. Ron: She's in my charms class! She's actually really good at it.., but she's even better at coming up with witty things to say to Draco or any other bully! Hermoine: Her mind is sharper than mine when it comes to things to say (as Ron said) to bullies. But I'm afraid I beat her in the O.W.L.S. But she is fairly nice and very beautiful! Ginny: I agree, Hermoine! I envy her at times, too. And her comebacks are super funny, and I adore her!

Harry:She's my best friend Ron:Best seeker ever!! Ginny:she's awesome!
Hermione:So cool! Luna:she's perfect! Neville:Gorgeous! Draco:I wish she wasn't in Gryffindor! Fred:I love her! George:No i Love her!!
(they start fighting)

Harry: ME, with a sense of humor! Ron: DUDE! If there was no Hermione...
Hermione: She doesn't study enough... Luna: She doesn't believe in Nargles, but nice enough... Neville: She cursed Malfoy for me once! Cho: Aaaaaaahhhhh! I hate her! Too... Too... Popular! Snape: I thought two Potters, Black, and the Weasley twins were enough! Malfoy: HOT! for a grffindor I mean... Pansy: Ugly and Stupid! Fred: We're involved! (in a romantic relationship) George: No she's mine you git! Sirius: If I was still at Hogwarts (whistles enthusiastically) Voldy: Aaaaaaaaah! I think she'll kill me!

Harry: One of my best friends, a fantastic chaser and really good looking. if only george wasn't here. Ron: I'm with Harry, and she's smart to. 1 of my best friends Hermoine: she's like my sister, love her to death Ginny: she is my bff Fred: how did George get her George: my GF, ilove her, so hot, smart,funny and she loves my jokes and pranks Dumbledore: second fav student, wy isn't she with harry? Nevile: helps me in class, she is really nice and pretty. Draco: filthy little hot as hell mudblood. i mean evil sh e is evil Voldemort: if only i could recruit her some jow PAnsy: i keep catching Draco staring at her( see's draco staring, "take a picture it'll last longer") runs off crying.

Harry: a great friend, i love her very jealous of fred. or is it george?
Ron: cool. she spends the summer at my house. always with my brothers
Hermione: she doesnt focus on her studies! oh well a great friend luna: she dosnt call me looney, but she doesnt believe in nargles Neville:a great friend. she punched draco in the face for me fred and george: we love her
Draco: eww. mudblood! nuuf said Pansy: agreed Voldemort: shes brave but a griffindor so i hate her.

(this one really nails it)

Harry: wow! she's a great friend, always there for you when you need her to be. a bit formiddable sometimes but on the whole awsome! also a willing Dumbledore's army member!! Ron: she is really cool!! Hermione: oh she's lovely!! she will always study with me and hexes any one who insults me. and she stands up for house elves! Neville: oh she's really nice! whenever i'm being bullied she curses the bullies. Fred and Gerorge: she's great, she lets us get away with everything we are firm friends! so funny. Luna: she doesn't believe in wrackspurts and nargles but she is really kind and always reads the Quibbler!!
Malfoy: oh she terrifies me and attracts me at the same time!! pansy: mudblood!!! voldermort: she'd make a perfect deatheater but every time i torture her she never gives in! snape: infuriating!! Dumbledore: a excellent student and a good friend for harry!! Hagrid: always willin to come and elp with the magical beasts. she as a way with em she does. great student.

Harry: Shes a chaser on my quitage team and is really good plus she is mad pretty i wonder if she will go out with me Ron: to bad harry wants her or else she'd be mine sorry hermimie Herminie: we are in a lot of the same classes and she is really nice to bad ron likes her Fred & George: she is lots of fun she always laughs at our jokes no matter how bad they are
Luna: she never calls me loony and we talk about nargles all the time
Neval: she helps me on my homework and sticks up for me Draco: way to nice it sickens me Voldie: if i could yous her talent to my advantage i would ... no she'd never agree she thinks i'm a mean hedious bald guy whitch is toe but... Ginny:shes like my BFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pansey: uh i hate her ewww Cho: she takes all my shine but all in all shes nice

Harry: My Girlfriend! She's hot, kind, smart, and a true Gryffindor at heart!
Ron: I'll admit that I'm jealous that Harry got her... But she's still an amazing friend! Hermione: Such a great friend! She is truly amazing!
Draco: Stupid Gryffindors... Ginny:She is amazing! Brave, Kind, and a great friend. Fred George: Helps us withs some of our pranks! The very definition of a Gryffindor! Voldemort: Ignorant Gryffindor, who thinks they can defeat me!

Harry: Just as smart as Hermione! She is good at quidditch too! Oh right she's on the team...blushes Ron: She beat me more than 10 times in a row at chess! Hermione: My study buddy and BFF! Draco: Deflects every spell I throw at her back to me! Pansy:She's a danger to us Slytherins! Sirius: So smart she could have gotten me out of Azkaban with a flick of her wand!
Fred: So smart... George: Yeah...Impossible to prank Dumbledore: Smarter than the smarter than average! Snape: Incredible at potions! I can't help but smile when I see her! Mcgonagoll: Smart as Granger! Flitwick: My best student! Sprout: She is an incredible student! Voldemort: You walk in on his secret meeting Retreat death eaters! RETREAT! Luna: My best friend! She helped my understand that plimpies aren't real! Cedric:She is the smartest person ever!

harry potter: shes awesome! we dated...for like a day...she dumped me :(
ron: i want to talk to her but she keeps running around w/ her friend(s)
hermione: ron likes her!! that b*h!!! oh, pardon me!! shes nice and smart.
neville: everyone knows her, shes too popular dumbledore: great student!! aces all her tests! draco: gasps she toched me! eww! faints voldie: oh shut it draco, i kno u like her, but she...I HATE HER FREAKIN GUTS!!

You have lots of friends. You are always ready to have as much fun as possible. You are Brave and stands up for what you believe in. Welcom to Gryffidonr.
Harry: She is sooo awesome...looks off dreamily We're best friends though. Too bad fred 's going out with her.:( Ron: Nice, We're friends...*i think harry likes her. Hermoine: Friendly but should spend alot more time studying. Fred: She is going out with me. George: Noo she likes me waaaayyyy more than you. Get in a fight Draco: If only she was in slytherin. Proffesors: Has a great future. Voldie: NOOOOOOOOOOOO not another harry

Harry:She is actually a really good friend. Always makes me Laugh and is all around a cool girl to hang with. really brave. Really HOT Ron:Same Here
Hermione: She really needs to study more. Shes always a laugh though. But better grades then we'll talk. Fred&George: She IS HOT! and she pranks the Slytherins with us. Shes bound to go out with one of us. Lucky us!
Malfoy:Filthy Mudblood(You Come up to him and slap the stupid git in the face) Pansy: OHHH DRACO ARE YOU ALRIGHT, MY LOVE????? Proffessors: Quite Brilliant, young Girl. If She would Focus more. Marvelous

Harry: I think I'm in love with her...too bad she spends all her time with Fred and George. She's just so...drools...smexy... Ron: I'm so lucky she spends the holidays at my house each year. Maybe this Christmas she'll stay in my room rather than Fred and George's. I'd keep her warm...winks
Hermione: We hang out whenever she's not with Fred, George, or Ron...she's a great friend! Maybe she'll give me some beauty tips in exchange for a few homework pointers! Fred: She is beautiful and I love her. She could be the Queen of Pranks! goes off into a daydream George: Shut up, Fred, she's mine! they get into a fight Draco: What a smexy little mudblood. I'd become a bloodtraitor just to have a chance at that...

Harry: She's really hot, but she's already dating Fred.. Ron: Hot! But she's taken.. Hermione: Doesn't study enough! She should stop playing pranks and be serious for once! Ginny: Great Quidditch player! Really funny too!
Fred: My perfect girlfriend! I think I'm in love.. George: One of my best friends! She's dating Fred though.. Luna: She's quite nice but she called me Loony the other week.. Draco: Pulls pranks on me alot..It's not fair that she's so hot. Voldemort: Ugh, I can't take her jokes! (tries to kill but wand turns into pair of pants) Phooey!

Harry- She is very pretty and good friends with Cho. Maybe I should ask her if Cho likes me. Ron- Great Quittich player and very hot. I should see if she wants to go out with me. Herminone- A wonderful student and very beautiful too. We often chat in the courtyard or before she does to Quittich practice.
Ginny- I wish I was her. (sigh) Luna- Ah yes, a rather smiley character. She makes the sun shine when its cloudy. Fred and George- George likes her, DO NOT, DO TOO! Draco- She has potential and would excel in the Slytherin House, too bad she's in Ravenclaw. Pansy- I mean, WHO SMILES THAT MUCH? it's downright creepy. Voldemort- I'll let her live a little while longer.
Dumbledore- What a cheery student. She always fills that halls with smiles and laughter.

Harry: Drop dead gorgeous! i.. i.. i just cant believe she goes out with fred! i am the chosen one ;) (Fred: Harry try going for her, your dead) (whisper: i wish she was mine...) Hermione: She's a great study buddy when shes not pranking people. luckily, im her best friend so she would do that to me! Ron: I hate that fred gets the bloody hot ones! sorry Mione Fred: My girlfriend! she's to amazing for words. She helps with pranks sometimes. She is an amazing quidditch player. Plus during practice, she plays around with me and George. Course George and i are the ones who get in trouble. i think Wood may like her. better stay away from my girl! i love her. i hope to propose soon enough ;)
George: dang it fred... Oliver: Great Quidditch player. gorgeous too. i cant believe fred got her. Neville: she's really nice, she always stands up for me. i wish i had the courage to ask her out... wait she's dating fred? oh gosh darn it. Draco:why does she have to be a gryffindor.

That's it for now...


IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)

2. Put it on shuffle

3. Press play

4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool... and a lot of the songs fit with the setting

Opening Credits: Heroes by David Cook (Yeah, that makes sense)

Waking Up: Secrets by OneRepublic (Shh! Don't tell anyone that I've regained consciousness!)

First Day of School: Breaking Free by The Covers (I wish)

Falling In Love: Start a Fire by 1Ryan Star (Believe it or not, that actually makes sense!)

Fight Song: Live Like We're Dying by Kris Allen (Ha! Oh the irony!)

Breaking Up: Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard (Perfect...)

Prom Night: Fly Love by Jamie Foxx (YES!!! THAT ONE ACTUALLY FITS!)

Life: Thunder by Boys Like Girls (I guess...)

Mental Breakdown: Funky Monkey (Ohhh, that's perfect!)

Driving: Drive by Incubus (Really! That one works!)

Flashback: Savin' Me by Nickelback (=D)

Getting Back Together: Second Chance by Shinedown (Okay, now my iPod is just agreeing with me, I SWORE this was on shuffle!)

Wedding: Forbidden Friendship by John Powell (Um...)

Birth of a Child: Revenge by Plain White T's (Well, my parents always said "When you have kids I hope they turn out to be JUST LIKE YOU!")

Final Battle: Hero by Chad Kroger (Okay...)

Funeral Song: Reach by Gloria Estefan (Daw, that makes sense)

Final Credits: White and Nerdy by The Hit Co. (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA PERFECT!!!)


93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If your part of the 7 percent that would ask the person "what was your first clue?" copy this onto your profile then add your name to the list:Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A, Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A.,Evil Genus of the C.O.C.A., Invador Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, BellaBookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Spottedlilly, Alleyanna Cullen, hugs.for.all.the.emo.boyz, I'll have some stupid Cliche, rainxface, maximumride24,FangsGirl24601, A Silenced Angel, UNDERLANDERfromtheOVERLAND. CrazyNerdyFangirl, ColorTheSky, GodsHelperServent, Qille,


Help me color the sky.

I'm that girl who cries without anyone seeing it.

I'm that girl who hurts herself without anyone knowing it.

I'm that girl who is smiles but is hurting inside.

I'm that girl who guides but doesn't know what's right.

I'm that girl who shines but doesn't glow in the dark.

I'm that girl who's kind but never feels the mark.

I'm that girl who'd fight for someone else's rights.

But I'm also that girl who can't sleep at night.

Outside I'm pretty, I'm glowing, I'm strong.

But inside, I'm hurting, knowing I don't belong.

I think of that weight that just hangs above me,

Dropping onto my shoulders ever so slowly.

I don't fight it, I don't struggle,

I just hold it up.

The force on my shoulders,

I'm begging it to stop.

But I just hold it together,

And keep the smile on my face.

Just hoping that one day,

Someone can take my place.

Help me take that burden off her shoulders, Look past the barriers and help me get hold of her. Take my hand and it'll weigh no more, For us girls together, can be stronger than before.

9 out of 10 teenage girls suffer from peer pressure, verbal and/or physical abuse, and stereotyping. If you believe in the power of women and girls like us, and if you believe we can overcome this issue together hand in hand, post this onto your profile and add your name to the list: ColorTheSky, GodsHelperServent, Qille,


Blondes Special Licnese

There was a blonde driving down the center of the road at 100 mph. A police officer pulled her over to the side of the road. When she had stopped, the officer asked, "License and Registration please."

"It's okay, Officer, I have a special license that allows me to do this," she said smiling.

"That's impossible!" The officer replied, "I've never heard of such a license."

To which the driver reached into her purse and handed him her license. Astonished, the Officer said, "Just as I suspected. This is an ordinary license, I see nothing here that would allow you special consideration."

She pointed to the bottom of the license and said, "Can you see this?? It says so right here: 'Tear Along The Dotted Line'."

'Blondes Are Not Stupid' Convention

80,000 blondes are gathered for a "Blondes Are Not Stupid" convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ... Give her another chance! Give her another chance!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The 'What If' Series by DawnoftheMonsters reviews
Updated every two weeks, A series of 'what if' events from the movie, B.OB's Big Break, Mutant Pumpkins From Outer Space, Night Of The Living Carrots and the Television Series.
Monsters vs. Aliens - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 130 - Words: 197,907 - Reviews: 402 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/18 - Published: 5/10/2010
The Young Adventures of Kíli and Fíli by AldabaranFox reviews
It was well known to the company that Kíli and Fíli were mischievous little terrors as dwarf children. Sitting around various campfires on the way to reclaim Erebor, the pair's youthful adventures and scrapes are exposed to the group, including broken bones, earthquakes, dwarf pox and plenty of h/c. Kíli/Fíli with protective!Thorin and the rest of the dwarves thrown in for fun.
Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 9 - Words: 36,170 - Reviews: 241 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 332 - Updated: 3/5 - Published: 12/24/2012 - Thorin, Fili, Kili
Between Stone and Stars by TT Snim reviews
Two adventurers from completely different paths of life unwittingly release an ancient evil, and must find a way to reseal it. (Longer summery inside) Shadow of Iraphel Novelization starting from the first episode. Non Yaoi/slash Consider this more of a Trek "Influence" than a true crossover.
Crossover - StarTrek: Other & Minecraft - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 50,482 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/6 - Published: 10/10/2012
My Heart Turned Red by kagomehater4ever reviews
Ever wonder what Gnomeo was thinking throughout the movie? Well stop wondering! Go through his mind as he struggles to hate the Red Garden as he has all these years, or to be with the girl of his dreams from the loathed Red Garden, a girl named Juliet.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 43,938 - Reviews: 177 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/2 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Gnomeo, Juliet
The Truth is a Shard of Ice by Whitefang333 reviews
The truth is not given to the meek. It is for those brave enough to grasp it. A lonely Viking misfit and one vigilante dragon could tie the link to the past, and the future?
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 40 - Words: 469,273 - Reviews: 485 - Favs: 315 - Follows: 284 - Updated: 12/13/2013 - Published: 9/30/2010 - Toothless, Hiccup
cloudy with no chance of meatballs by v-hills reviews
“Oh well you know, it’s just that there was this … hugeexplosionrightinfrontofmeandsincethenI’vehadsomuchluckthatI’mafraidit’sjustsomesortofcoma-dream?” // it's a kind of romantic, general, adventure-like thing with a little angst? hum. //
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,981 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 11/19/2013 - Published: 2/15/2010
Sleepover by vulnera-sapientia reviews
Simmons is having a little trouble getting to sleep, so Fitz decides to give her some company. One shot :)
Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,108 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 22 - Published: 9/29/2013 - L. Fitz, J. Simmons - Complete
Tree Monster! by animatedrose reviews
Out of all the things he could've encountered in this strange world he'd been flung into, Wilson never would've guessed he'd be up against a living tree... Getting firewood became THAT much harder suddenly.
Don't Starve - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,545 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/15/2013 - Wilson - Complete
Rebellion by storylover18 reviews
Sherlock wakes John up one night when he has a lot of pain and when John is unable to help his friend, Sherlock concedes to hospital care. No slash, just friendship.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 13,891 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 112 - Updated: 4/24/2013 - Published: 2/22/2013 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Race Against Time by Italian Hobbit reviews
Kili has decided that Fili needs to learn archery, but a mishap puts Kili's life in grave danger. No slash.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 60,882 - Reviews: 658 - Favs: 460 - Follows: 335 - Updated: 4/16/2013 - Published: 1/19/2013 - Fili, Kili, Thorin, Dis - Complete
Phantom: Harnessing Potential by EmmerzK reviews
A freak accident leaves Wilbur Robinson with super powers. After learning to harness his true potential, he discovers that he and his fellow supers will have to save the world as they know it. Rated T for action/violence later and gushy romance stuff ;
Crossover - Incredibles & Meet the Robinsons - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 69,355 - Reviews: 179 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 4/6/2013 - Published: 2/7/2012 - Violet P., Wilbur R. - Complete
The wall that broke Stiles' back by thesheepishchild reviews
Does he have a paper on his back that reads Please Throw Me Into The Nearest Wall? Because for the past few months he and the walls having been getting pretty close. It doesn't help that supernatural creatures are the ones that are throwing him. When will they realize that he's just a mere mortal? Will they realize a little to late? CH12 IS NOW OPEN!
Teen Wolf - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 41,573 - Reviews: 323 - Favs: 320 - Follows: 605 - Updated: 4/5/2013 - Published: 7/11/2012 - Stiles, Derek H.
The Morganian Apprentice by Argent-Jinx reviews
AU. Balthazar is sucked into the urn for ten years, leaving a defenseless ten year old in the shop to face Horvath alone. Warning: Lots of hurt!Dave in future chapters. No slash, just so you know.
Sorcerer's Apprentice, 2010 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,571 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Dave S., Balthazar B.
The Invasion by Glampyra reviews
The world is dead. Everyone is either diseased, or a zombie. There are only 10 of them left: pure, untouched to the disease. However there are a few left. Beasts. Dead in between, not quite dead but not quite alive. And they're hunting them down. Better than it sounds.
9 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,900 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/6/2013 - Published: 10/22/2012
Meeting 10 by Glampyra reviews
A new stitchpunk is found. She's brought the others back. But for a price; she needs 6,3 and 4 to complete her master. the only question is. Who's her master? "Stay away or we will truly be gone. forever."
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 18,461 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 2/20/2013 - Published: 2/19/2012 - 6
A Shadow in the Back of my Mind by Owl At The End reviews
The nightmare's not over. With a shadow now taking up residence in Jack's dreams, can the Guardians destroy the darkness before Jack falls under? (AU post movie timeline)
Rise of the Guardians - Rated: T - English - Angst/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 23,444 - Reviews: 200 - Favs: 345 - Follows: 461 - Updated: 2/4/2013 - Published: 11/22/2012 - Jack Frost
Brothers Lost by QueenJaegerjaquez reviews
Two brothers who lived and died together, on the field of war. What was going on in Kili's head, during the moments he was struck down? Can comfort be found in death? Deathfic. One Shot. No Durincest.
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,029 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/21/2013 - Kili, Fili - Complete
Contagion by storylover18 reviews
Sherlock wakes up one morning and finds that something is not right. Sorry about the vague description but I don't want to give too much away too soon! Filling a prompt for Prothoe - sick!Sherlock. Friendship only between John and Sherlock. Please R&R!
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 20,048 - Reviews: 156 - Favs: 111 - Follows: 113 - Updated: 1/4/2013 - Published: 11/2/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Memories and Nightmares by Cora Sinclair reviews
To prove that I'm still alive I decided to update! So here's a cute little one shot that touches down on Susan and Emily's relationship.
Monsters vs. Aliens - Rated: K - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 35 - Words: 55,299 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 3/20/2010 - Dr. Cockroach, Susan M./Ginormica - Complete
One Good Thing by Deus Imperator reviews
"Ralph, we need-" Felix began, but his words caught in his throat when he saw the look on Ralph's face. "Felix I have to do this." Felix tried to find the words, but he knew anything he said would sound hollow. He nodded to Ralph, who turned his back on him, charging into the onrushing swarm of cy-bugs.
Wreck-It Ralph - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,581 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 8 - Published: 11/14/2012 - Wreck-It Ralph, Vanellope von Schweetz - Complete
Tainted by storylover18 reviews
Sherlock has injured himself but he hates hospitals. So what does he do? He hides it, of course. At least, he tries to but Dr. Watson has always been the best and Sherlock's secret is soon found out. Now John must patch Sherlock up because he still refuses to go to hospital. Hurt/comfort - not slash, just friendship.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 8,828 - Reviews: 86 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 57 - Updated: 10/19/2012 - Published: 10/8/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Danger in the Shadows by AmberLS123 reviews
Sequel to the movie. Basil of Baker Street's powers are tested to their limits in his most challenging case yet. Rated for violence.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 10 - Words: 12,622 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 1/5/2011 - Basil, Dr. Dawson
Fledgling by Alexa Piper reviews
Because in the end, Jonathan chose what was best for Mavis. JxM. T for supernatural violence/to be safe.
Hotel Transylvania - Rated: T - English - Horror/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,424 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 79 - Updated: 10/2/2012 - Published: 9/24/2012 - Jonathan/Jonny/Jonny-stein, Mavis
One Annoying Dragon by DuskLightening reviews
Second Story. A book by book summary of the books written from my character's point of view. CONTAINS SPOILERS AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE FILM!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,297 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/18/2012 - Published: 6/30/2011
Musical Chairs by KhallieGurl reviews
Nico and Pedro have kindled a serious rivalry with another singer. It turns a little more serious-and disastrous-than anyone predicted. K for mild violence and potential connotations.
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,489 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/26/2012 - Published: 1/3/2012
Keeper of the Runners by pyromaniac325 reviews
So, this is before Thomas shows up...and Newts still a runner. It's all from Minho's POV
Maze Runner Trilogy - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 21 - Words: 9,744 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/23/2012 - Published: 3/15/2011
Sickness by doctorcoffeeboy reviews
Sherlock comes down with a bout of sickness but being Sherlock, tries to deny anything is wrong until it catches up to him at a crime scene. Written for 'AssassinOfRome'. Non-slash, just bromance. Rated for elbow-room.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,895 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 7/3/2012 - Published: 4/1/2011 - Sherlock H., John W.
Flying Home by Picoroo reviews
Even with the new Sanctuary, bird smuggling is still a ever-present threat to the Birds of Rio. When Nico is taken and flown halfway around the world, he must make the long and dangerous trek back home. Alone. *COMPLETE*
Rio - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 17 - Words: 87,870 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/1/2012 - Published: 1/23/2012 - Nico - Complete
Gremlins 3: Stripe strikes back by badberry123 reviews
What do you get when a certain white streaked Gremlin rises from the dead? A story packed full of Horror, Romance, Betrayal and Humour at every turn. Join our favorite Gremlins on one exclusive adventure, one which they'd much rather forget. Parings GizmoXOCXLenny & StripeXGreta.
Gremlins - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 86,485 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/30/2012 - Published: 2/25/2011
HTTYD What If's? by Splendid Skye XIII reviews
Just a bunch of drabbles I decided to write just for fun. Mostly Hiccup, Astrid and Toothless, but might bring in others later on. First fanfic, so please be nice. Rated T just in case and to be on the safe side.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,209 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Hiccup
Happy 9Aversary! by Barn Owl Girl reviews
Did you know that today, the movie 9 has been out for 999 days? As a tribute, I wrote this random little story. Just something insane for a change. What happens when 9 and the gang go to see their movie? Read to find out!
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,480 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 6 - Published: 6/4/2012 - 9 - Complete
Diary of Iggy by Zoezaz reviews
Iggy's messed up life and his secrets that have never been told. All of Iggy's most embarrasing, heart felt, and odd moments saved in his diary...I mean, Journal.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,236 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 5/28/2012 - Published: 4/11/2010 - Iggy
2 Once Taught Me A Song by PoppyECM.6-13 reviews
At 2's funeral, just as his body goes down the river and out of sight, 5 starts thinking out loud. Shortly after he bursts into tears other his lost friend, mentor... farther.
9 - Rated: K - English - Family/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 294 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/24/2012 - 5, 2 - Complete
Some Things Aren't Funny by Isilarma reviews
Clint plays a prank on Tony, but his reaction isn't quite what he expected. Rated for flashbacks and mentions of torture.
Avengers - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,824 - Reviews: 209 - Favs: 1,369 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 5/17/2012 - Published: 5/9/2012 - Iron Man/Tony S., Hawkeye/Clint B. - Complete
Echoes in the Night by AmberLS123 reviews
Originally a one-shot based off a dream I had, I've decided to continue the story of how Basil and Amber must escape the clutches of the Napoleon of Crime.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Horror/Suspense - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,566 - Reviews: 78 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/17/2012 - Published: 10/5/2011 - Basil, Ratigan - Complete
Cute Little Pranks by 15 Lucca Hunter reviews
In acts of friendly revenge, or just when they're bored, the 'punks play all sorts of pranks on each other. REQUESTS TAKEN!
9 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 910 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/13/2012
How to Freak Out A Viking Or Two by Mary Penelope reviews
Now the first in my 'Traveling Fans' series; Toothless and Hiccup were just having their breakfast when a mysterious girl appears. That's right! I, Mary Penelope, have teleported into the world of How to Train Your Dragon! R&R!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K - English - Humor/Mystery - Chapters: 14 - Words: 18,567 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 10/30/2010
Sick Day by A Wandering Minstrel reviews
Sherlock is sick. The staff at the surgery are excited. John is annoyed.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,308 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 211 - Follows: 20 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
A Brother's Presence by blue-eyed-cow reviews
Winter is approaching in Republic City, and this means nothing but trouble for orphans Mako and Bolin. When Bolin falls seriously ill, Mako has to help him get better while still dealing with the ever-lasting problems of being homeless. One-Shot
Legend of Korra - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,031 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/22/2012 - Bolin, Mako - Complete
Aftermath by b7-kerravon reviews
Megamind took a real pounding from Tighten in the last battle. Where does a blue alien go for treatment? Can Metro City just 'forgive and forget' all his crimes after a single act of redemption? Chp 10 up finally
Megamind - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Mystery - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,816 - Reviews: 296 - Favs: 304 - Follows: 453 - Updated: 4/8/2012 - Published: 11/28/2010 - Roxanne R., Megamind
My HTTYD Random Talk Show by Blipity Boo reviews
I'm hosting a talk show with the HTTYD gang! crazy co-hosts, two Hiccup's, and one super random talk show! Get ready for randomness, is that even a word? rated T for now but may become K .
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,017 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/28/2012 - Published: 7/17/2011
Sleep by PoppyECM.6-13 reviews
a little 2-shot i wrote because i thought it would be cute! enjoy !
9 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,164 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/3/2012 - 6, 5
The Outsider by Dragonrider7 reviews
Link seems to be the one that's more animalistic out of the group. How does he react to that and what are some of the downsides to that, what are some of the good things, and what was his life like before Susan came along? New chapter is 6.
Monsters vs. Aliens - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,262 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/19/2012 - Published: 10/5/2009 - The Missing Link
Comfort by Barn Owl Girl reviews
When 6 has a nightmare, who's there to comfort him? Why, it's everyone's favorite one-eyed stitchpunk, 5! Just a sweet, little one-shot. NOT a slash.
9 - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,375 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/11/2012 - 5, 6 - Complete
Watching A Very Potter Musical by Optimistic Dreamer reviews
The Harry Potter Characters watch 'A Very Potter Musical' by Team StarKid.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 13,619 - Reviews: 423 - Favs: 406 - Follows: 522 - Updated: 2/3/2012 - Published: 3/12/2011
How to Survive Your Opposites by Sir Weston reviews
A competition between Berk and their rivals, Kreb, puts Hiccup and the gang in over their heads. Especially when they meet six teens who are their exact opposites! And they're also a lot more ruthless. How will Hiccup and the others survive? R & R, please
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,628 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 1/19/2012 - Published: 11/29/2010
HTTYD News Weekly! by Annabeth The Unicorn reviews
All the updates on all things How To Train Your Dragon! From Toothless' dinner to new sequel info, this show- I mean fanfic- has it all! Starring Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III and his team of Dragon-riding teens!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,136 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/15/2012 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Hiccup
Our World by Supa Supa Bad Truly Mad Moves reviews
The dead have been brought back, but life is hardly complete. Struck with cabin fever, the group begins their final adventure. But there are things out there. Things less than man but more than machine. This world will never be the same.
9 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 44,291 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 3/3/2010 - 9, 7 - Complete
Burial by Jazz-9t reviews
What is there in the aftermath of a death? Any death? It's the first one, though, that's always the hardest. 2's burial from 6's point of view. The story reads nothing like the summary. I just like pretending to be philosophical.
9 - Rated: K - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 411 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Published: 1/10/2012 - 6 - Complete
How to Survive in the Wilderness by Jellyfish Jam reviews
Gobber throws the class into the wilderness for a survival test. When Hiccup and Snotlout are paired together for the assignment, how long will they be able to last? Not a Slash fic. Rated T to be safe. R&R!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,480 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Hiccup, Snotlout
Lost Secrets by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
The town of ChewandSwallow is being brought down and the townsfolk are disappearing. Not to mention the WMRs are beginning and Flint, Brent and Sam will have to participate in them in order to save their town. Or else.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 19,113 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/29/2011 - Published: 9/18/2011
How to Speak Dragonese by Victoria62015 reviews
Sequel How to be a Pirate Meets the Movie. Hiccup being able to understand dragons is good, right? Well, that's what he thought before the Romans came. Friendships are risked, in Hiccup's new crazy venture. Plausible Love Triangle! and NOT Yaoi
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 31,951 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 47 - Updated: 12/28/2011 - Published: 10/8/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless
The Apartment by HamPickleSandwich reviews
Adopted bunny. "She had a tough life trying to raise her twin children on her own, but things are about to change, starting with a move into an apartment that has some rather odd residents. Humanized stitchpunks." Rated T because that's how I roll.
9 - Rated: T - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,352 - Reviews: 30 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 12/24/2011 - Published: 6/29/2010 - 7
All In A Day's Work by PaperInked reviews
Cobol wants Ariadne, Ariadne wants everything to be okay, Arthur wants everyone to stop fussing- it's just a bullet wound, and Eames just wants to go to sleep.
Inception - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,778 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/23/2011 - Arthur, Eames - Complete
Rio: Stickin' around by Glampyra reviews
This is a remake of Lost in New York. This time Nicole and Patty's owner moves to Rio, and their owner's mother get's a job at the Blu bird sanctuary. Old Story will be deleted. Sorry. But I'll make this story better.FLAMES WILL BE DELETED.
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,347 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 12/21/2011 - Published: 7/20/2011 - Nico
The Dragon Journals by Contraltissimo reviews
Penny for a dragon's thoughts? The movie as chronicled by the beasties themselves.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 22 - Words: 34,323 - Reviews: 304 - Favs: 412 - Follows: 403 - Updated: 12/14/2011 - Published: 6/12/2010
6 Runs Out of Ink by Zeakari reviews
The little artist of the group runs out of ink and 5 decides to help him get some more. Full of good intentions, the one-eyed stitchpunk had not predicted the task to end up being life-threatening for the both of them.
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,052 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 11/29/2011 - 5, 6 - Complete
Tubular by KhallieGurl reviews
Blu, Jewel, Nico, Pedro, and the kids are watching boaters out on the ocean-and subsequently get an idea of how to spend the afternoon.
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,608 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/14/2011 - Published: 9/18/2011
Medecins Sans Frontieres by KeepCalmAndKeepWriting reviews
Arthur gets shot in the stomach, and Eames and Ariadne have to keep him alive for an hour until medical help arrives...
Inception - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,345 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 10 - Published: 11/10/2011 - Arthur, Eames - Complete
Making Small Talk by Pippa6100 reviews
The Other Mother sighs softly. She picks up one of her needles, and quietly flicks her finger against it to let you hear the sound. You know she built you wrong, too much like the other – or should you say the Real – Wybie, but you like the way you are.
Coraline - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 795 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/8/2011 - Other Wybie, Other Mother - Complete
How to Survive Camp DragonFire by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
A dangerous viking camp has been set up in Berk and only the strongest and best will stay alive till the end. Other than that strange things are happening to Hiccup and mysterious people are arriving to Berk. Sequel to "How to Tame a Winter Storm". Enjoy!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 11,736 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 9/9/2011 - Hiccup
Too far, Max, Too far by Shadow Rose- Moondew flowers reviews
Maximum Ride goes insane after the death of Fang, who is her best friend and the only person she really ever trusted after Jeb. Please read and review this is my first story. If I do not get reviews,it will be horrible life for those who read. 2 more pls
Maximum Ride - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,703 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/5/2011 - Published: 3/4/2011
Scars of the Past by AmberLS123 reviews
It's Basil of Baker Street's birthday...but why does he seem to be determined NOT to celebrate it? The answer lies in our hero's past.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,039 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 10/26/2011 - Published: 10/23/2011 - Basil, Dr. Dawson
From Real to Rio by Silkmouse reviews
I, Silkmouse along with Qille my co-writer have entered the world of Rio! The ony problem is, we're not sure how we got there. Watch us as we meet the characters and try not to our feathers plucked out in our favorite music filled movie!
Rio - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,469 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/21/2011 - Published: 9/4/2011
Proof by DaisyDoodle reviews
February and Krayonder want to find out if Taz and Up are really just freinds. How will they figure this mystery out? By going through their stuff of course!
Starship - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,629 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/16/2011 - Taz, Up - Complete
After All This Time by kazzymetron reviews
A bit of Specs/Krayonder love. A little bit fluffly, a little bit angsty. I don't own any of the characters.
Starship - Rated: K - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,639 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/15/2011 - Specs, Krayonder - Complete
Clean by Airplane reviews
Pascal needs a bath, and possibly some comfort.
Tangled - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,173 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/8/2011 - Flynn R., Pascal - Complete
Poison Arrow by Dread Pirate reviews
When Loki is injured in combat, the difference between the god of mischief and his brother is perhaps something to be celebrated.
Thor - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 904 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 15 - Published: 9/25/2011 - Loki, Thor - Complete
Buddy Wars by KhallieGurl reviews
An argument between Nico and Pedro evolves into a full-on prank war, which in turn escalates into something a little more serious. Sequel/Companion Piece to "Ambitions".
Rio - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 33,274 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 9/10/2011 - Published: 6/23/2011 - Complete
I threw myself away by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
Flint doesn't know what to do when the world is in danger and everyone is ready to blame him. As he thinks hard about everything that ever happened and what's he's done he has one solution to the whole problem. In Flint's POV.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,452 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/4/2011 - Complete
Marching On by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
A little one-shot after the end of book 7 about how Harry, Ron and Hermione think about their 7th year and what happened earlier.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,021 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 9/3/2011 - Complete
How to Tame a Winter Storm by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
Strange things are happening on the Isle of Berk. It all starts off with a soundless roar, and then things get much worse. Hiccup, Toothless and others must travel across Berk and other islands to find out who or what is causing all the uproar...
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 37 - Words: 79,749 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 8/28/2011 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Hiccup, Toothless - Complete
Tell Me! by GSDpuppypaws reviews
"Please just tell me!" Nico isn't native to Rio, they all know that. But only Nico knows the story on how he got there. Pedro is obsessed with figuring out Nico's secret.
Rio - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,413 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Nico, Pedro
Secrets by The Original Hansenette reviews
Woo! First Big Time Rush story! Logan collaspes during practice. No big deal, right? Wrong. Something a lot more sinster is going on... Rated T for now but might go up to M. All depends on how evil I'm feeling. Please review! :D
Big Time Rush - Rated: T - English - Angst/Friendship - Chapters: 49 - Words: 93,487 - Reviews: 373 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 8/18/2011 - Published: 3/6/2011 - Logan - Complete
Livin' with Animals Joke Story by BloodyHigurashi reviews
Amber's in for a shock when she discovers that her neighbors in her new town are animals, and she's the only human living there! Hilatiry ensues as she meets her new neighbors and does various things for them and Tom Nook. Let's wish Amber luck!
Animal Crossing - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,343 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/5/2011
How to Live a Dragon's Life by cinedragon reviews
What if Hiccup did kill Toothless? As punishment by the gods, he is turned into a Night Fury himself. Is there still hope for peace between dragons and Vikings? It's all up to Hiccup. And it ain't easy, a dragon's life.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,090 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 148 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 11/14/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless
Basil of Baker Street and the Deadly Assassin by AmberLS123 reviews
Dr. Dawson's account of one of the most dangerous cases of Basil of Baker Street.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Mystery/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 8,805 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/1/2011 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Basil, Dr. Dawson - Complete
Unbreakable Love by kagomehater4ever reviews
What was going through Juliet's mind throughout the movie? Read this to find out! Her thoughts and feelings about choosing between loyalty to her family or to be in love. And in a forbidden and unthinkable love with an enemy Blue Gnome, Gnomeo.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 18 - Words: 72,357 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/31/2011 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Juliet, Gnomeo - Complete
Vestige by Contraltissimo reviews
Post-movie. After a long hunting exercise with Spitelout, Hiccup & co. return to find Berk deserted...but not empty. Can they survive long enough to find their tribe? T for violence, scariness, booze, mortality. It's gonna get ugly... Read and review!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 32,338 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/29/2011 - Published: 8/29/2010
See all of Us by Mable reviews
What if all the events that occurred were simply a vision of Six's? Well they were and now it's up to Six to warn the others and to stop the fate that will soon be upon them. However, even with the vision, can the Stitchpunks survive?
9 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 9 - Words: 19,586 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 12 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 7/11/2011 - 6, 9 - Complete
Nightmare by Eclipse of Light reviews
The monsters are called out on a new assignment, and it's there that they find their toughest challenge yet: A virtual nightmare come to life. Rated T for violence and possible character death.
Monsters vs. Aliens - Rated: T - English - Horror/Family - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,726 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 7/12/2011 - Published: 9/6/2010
The Withering by Bluetech reviews
This is why I have been away for so long! This is a collaboration between Count Doofus and I, and we hope that it impresses you all! Hold on to your seats, it's going to be a bumpy ride...
Rio - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 32,537 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 7/10/2011 - Published: 6/25/2011 - Blu, Jewel - Complete
The Astronomer and the Macaw by iluvcats09 reviews
Ptolemy is a pampered parakeet who has always wanted to fly. When he suddenly finds himself away from his Florida home, will he finally get his chance? Or will the ensuing events make him appreciate his life in a cage? A wee bit of OC/OC romance.
Rio - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,430 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/3/2011 - Published: 6/14/2011
Ambitions by KhallieGurl reviews
Nico and Pedro have always been on top when it comes to the party scene. But some people aren't happy about it. Rated K because I don't plan on writing any particularly mature material, but there will probably be some mild violence later on.
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 29,184 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/13/2011 - Published: 4/27/2011 - Complete
Waiting by Under0The0Sea reviews
Toothless waits for Hiccup to wake up after their battle with the Red Death. Drabble. Toothless' POV
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,235 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Toothless, Hiccup - Complete
Fight fire with fire by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
This is a TREQUEL that comes after "All is not forgotten". This time it's really the end. From dreams that come true to mind-reading people and from unexpected love to unanswered questions... Here is what it all crashes down to...
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 64,901 - Reviews: 132 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 4/20/2011 - Complete
Dragonkey Quest by iluvcats09 reviews
When Vorpents attack, a quest to find the Potato will reveal a new enemy... one that must be defeated before it kills anyone else...
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Tragedy - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,939 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Astrid, Camicazi - Complete
No disguises by iluvcats09 reviews
Alternate ending to Megamind, but everybody is who they say they are. One-shot, very short, very dark.
Megamind - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 372 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Published: 5/21/2011 - Megamind, Minion - Complete
Hairbrushing and Other Such Things by Backroads reviews
En route to stealing a rare mood dragon, a couple of princesses have a chat. Pure book.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,422 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/20/2011 - Camicazi - Complete
Fate Can Change Fate by iluvcats09 reviews
Alternate ending to Dragonkey Quest. Rapunzel gets transported under mysterious circumstances to Berk. She enjoys riding dragons and such, but there's one question at the back of her mind: if she was on Berk, then wouldn't Mother Gothel be there too?
Crossover - How to Train Your Dragon & Tangled - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 552 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Hiccup, Rapunzel
A New Beginning by Vaneria Potter reviews
If Astrid hadn't followed Hiccup and found Toothless, then they would have managed to leave without notice. But what would happen after that? A mix of Books and the Movie. Rated T for safety
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 17,878 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 128 - Updated: 5/16/2011 - Published: 4/8/2010 - Hiccup, Camicazi - Complete
Lighting up the starry night by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
A one-shot I wrote for fun that takes place a month after the Great Food Incident. Has nothing to do with my other CWACOM fanfics. The rating is somewhere between K and T.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,356 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Complete
Alone On the Water by MadLori reviews
Sherlock is diagnosed with a terminal illness. Warning: angst like whoa.
Sherlock - Rated: K - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,210 - Reviews: 4461 - Favs: 10,397 - Follows: 1,040 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
FiddleSticks by Annabeth The Unicorn reviews
What is that thing, anyways?
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,116 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/17/2011 - Hiccup, Stoick - Complete
Reality Bleed by Marchling reviews
While testing a new drug for Yusuf that is supposed to enhance senses in a dream, Arthur starts to panic and ends up getting far more than he bargained for. Post-movie team story - COMPLETE!
Inception - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 7,967 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 62 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 4/12/2011 - Published: 3/21/2011 - Arthur - Complete
All is not forgotten by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
This is the sequel to "CWACOM: after the food incident". In here the chase is on once again. This time characters will be who they don't seem, new inventions will arise and suspense will claim almost every chapter ending.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 36 - Words: 77,955 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 6 - Updated: 4/5/2011 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Complete
Mother Dearest by Annabeth The Unicorn reviews
When Hiccups Mother, Val, Returns from her nine-year Quest, there are a lot of things she needs to get used to...
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 14 - Words: 14,342 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 61 - Updated: 3/24/2011 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Hiccup, Stoick - Complete
Comatose by Andrix reviews
After an accident, Arthur is left in a coma. Eames is going to try his damnedest to wake him up, no matter the cost. With the help of PASIV and their friends, maybe, just maybe, he can bring Arthur home.
Inception - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,337 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 18 - Published: 3/5/2011 - Eames, Arthur
Footsteps by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
Say hello to Flint Lockwood, who has agreed to tell his childhood story. Everything starts from the spray-on shoes and ends at the FLDSMDFR. His childhood is filled with secrets and things that he has never imagined. Enjoy!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 26 - Words: 57,119 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/26/2011 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Complete
Save me sir by RedHatMeg reviews
Minion suffer from agoraphobia due to traumatizing experiance of kidnapping. Megamind tries to help his friend, but will he succeed?
Megamind - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,557 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 2/25/2011 - Published: 1/24/2011 - Minion, Megamind
One Deep Breath by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
This was a request I promised to write for Qille. It's how Flint Lockwood is REALLY allergic to peanuts and the whole story changes from there. Enjoy!
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,255 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/29/2011 - Complete
CWACOM after the Food Incident by RainingSunshineEverywhere reviews
After the Great Food Incident, Flint Lockwood is lonely when his girlfriend; Sam Sparks has gone back to New York. One day he discovers that the FLDSMDFR is ok and goes out to find it. Trouble is at every corner and Flint, Sam and Brent better watch out.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 21 - Words: 35,081 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 9 - Updated: 1/28/2011 - Published: 12/24/2010 - Complete
Hiccup's point of view by FanFickChick1992 reviews
This is basically the movie with first person narration and some extended plot , giving a more in depth look on Hiccup's thoughts and feelings in the film. I intend to do the whole movie. I DO NOT OWN HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 23,880 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 1/17/2011 - Published: 1/7/2011
This is the Story by GarvinMark reviews
First Fanfiction-just an idea I had about having Eugene tell the story of "Tangled" to his kids, with comments and side scenes featuring the royal children :D
Tangled - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 15 - Words: 41,224 - Reviews: 275 - Favs: 289 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 12/26/2010 - Flynn R., Rapunzel - Complete
Warming Up to You by Nova-chan reviews
Sherlock gets hurt and sick on a case. John feels guilty because, well...he wasn't there.
Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,804 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 174 - Follows: 17 - Published: 1/9/2011 - Sherlock H., John W. - Complete
Breathe Again by kity623 reviews
Logan had really bad asthma when he was little, but he and his friends thought it went away. They thought wrong. It comes back, and Logan thinks he's holding back the band so he runs away. NO SLASH Better than it sounds
Big Time Rush - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 7,730 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/6/2011 - Published: 12/10/2010 - Logan - Complete
The Logan Ammendment by 2 kool 2 spell 'kool' right reviews
On his hands and knees in the middle of the street,James let out stiffled cries "Please tell me he's going to be okay, I never meant to hurt him" An accident that puts thier best friends life in jeapordy, and explains how the Logan Ammendment came to be.
Big Time Rush - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,396 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/28/2010 - Logan, James - Complete
Itchy Feeling by Xtraitor reviews
Hiccup's got a little problem from his childhood. This takes place after the movie. Some of the stuff in this is totaly made up. Hope you like it and please R&R. This is my very first story yay!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,674 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Published: 12/13/2010 - Hiccup - Complete
A Friendly Crash: Version Two by Skipper96 reviews
The same idea as my first story "A Friendly Crash", but with a twist. It might help to read "A Friendly Crash" before reading this one.
Night at the Museum - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,712 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 12/12/2010 - Published: 5/26/2010 - Jededaiah S., Octavius G. - Complete
Working For Tom Nook by Jessamine Diane reviews
A short story about all the horrendous work Tom Nook forces you to do when you start a new game. Not my best work but it's a good giggle. Rated K to be on the safe side.
Animal Crossing - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 751 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 6 - Published: 11/30/2010 - Complete
All the World's A Stage by SpacemanSays reviews
What's the difference between a villain and a supervillain? Presentation. He knew he could act, but the boss had never asked him to try a role this big. Oneshot, Minion-centric.
Megamind - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,269 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/23/2010 - Minion - Complete
The Case of the Emerald Ring by AmberLS123 reviews
Remember the lady in green at the end of the movie with the missing emerald ring? Here Dr. Dawson recounts the case, his second with the famous Basil of Baker Street.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: K - English - Mystery/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,135 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 11 - Published: 11/5/2010 - Basil, Dr. Dawson - Complete
Too Much Kick by LaylaBinx reviews
"Darling, I'm not a doctor but I'm nearly certain you have a concussion." Concussion!Arthur! Awesome/Worried!Eames! No slash, just fluff :P Happy birthday AtlantisGirl12!
Inception - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,133 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 10/19/2010 - Published: 9/20/2010 - Arthur, Eames - Complete
I Tried by werebunny131 reviews
They say that as long as you keep trying, you'll eventually succeed. When's my turn gonna come around?
Lion King - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 977 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Published: 10/1/2010 - Nuka - Complete
Head Trauma by rockmysocks456 reviews
Arthur hurts himself but tries to hide it from the team. Will it stay hidden? Hell no. No slash, just friendship, but you can read it like that if you want. READ AND REVIEW!
Inception - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,269 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 5 - Published: 9/22/2010 - Arthur - Complete
How to Be a Pirate meets the Movie by Victoria62015 reviews
Summary inside. Better than it sounds, I promise. First fic so please read and give me advice, I would appreciate it. I just altered the second book so it fit the movie, plus made it more humerous and more entertaining. Rated T for no good reason...
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 39,953 - Reviews: 104 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/20/2010 - Published: 7/26/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless - Complete
Rockslide by KaylaDestroyer reviews
The herd experiences a rockslide, Diego get's seriously injured, Sid reveals a medical talent and talks a little about his past. Slight Manny/Diego and Diego/Sid.
Ice Age - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,976 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/29/2010 - Diego, Sid - Complete
The Last of His Kind by Lineape reviews
It's an agreed upon fact that WALL-E is the last robot left on earth, but no one ever stopped to ask the question WHY.
WALL-E - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 677 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/8/2010 - WALL-E - Complete
The Night's Fury by dragonprotector reviews
A week has past since the final battle and everyone is living in unison with dragons.However Hiccup can't adapt to the new limb, his life is now full of pain,however he is keeping it secret.When his condition worsens keeping it a secret becomes difficult.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 15 - Words: 17,636 - Reviews: 137 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 7/31/2010 - Published: 4/17/2010 - Hiccup, Astrid - Complete
WALLY: The Novelization, Humanized! by Exists In Theory reviews
It's exactly what the title says, the entire film with all the robotic characters human, with elements of sci fi and detailed story telling structure thrown in. This is my very first published fanfic. Feel free to R&R. Rated TEEN for some graphic content.
WALL-E - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Romance - Chapters: 34 - Words: 141,161 - Reviews: 136 - Favs: 245 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 10/25/2009 - WALL-E, EVE - Complete
Emergency Guide: How to Deal with Toothless by Eigee reviews
USE WHEN HICCUP IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Enough said. Read and Review, please! :D
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 994 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 14 - Published: 6/20/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless - Complete
You Never Know What You've Got 'til it's Gone by Catnip-Packet reviews
Hiccup falls off Toothless when a freak storm blows up out of nowhere, and everyone thinks he's gone. Nobody could survive a fall like that...could they?
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 889 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 99 - Follows: 16 - Published: 6/14/2010 - Hiccup - Complete
My Undying Love by Eternal Outsider reviews
Just another battle on board the Black Pearl,but when things turn deadly for Jack it will test Elizabeth's love for him,and test how they feel on the inside. Sparrabeth. Rated for Language. Being edited and re-worked as of 3-31-2012.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 19,537 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/5/2010 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, Elizabeth S. - Complete
Brace Yourself by Tora Marikama reviews
They thought they were just normal kids. But then again, everyone thinks that right before the extraordinary happens. Let's hope they can get their acts together before the storm starts brewing. Humanized stitchpunks; super hero parody.
9 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 5 - Words: 21,463 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 6/5/2010 - Published: 2/9/2010 - 9
Needle in a Haystack by WrittenOnTheSubwayWalls reviews
Ratigan and Basil's first encounter, seen though Ratigan's eyes.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,482 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/11/2010 - Basil, Ratigan - Complete
Arachnophobia by keep-me-posted reviews
Could it be? A mighty dragon like Toothless...afraid of spiders? HTTYD OneShot.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 919 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 171 - Follows: 17 - Published: 4/21/2010 - Hiccup, Toothless - Complete
Piggyback Ride by DPRRluvJ13MM reviews
5 cheers 6 up.
9 - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,595 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2010 - 5, 6 - Complete
Wybie by ItWasMagic reviews
Coraline in Wybie's point of view. This is for all of your Wybie fans out there. Here you go! Something to keep your fandom kind of controlled.
Coraline - Rated: K - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,742 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/9/2010 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Wybie L., Coraline J. - Complete
Through the Bars by PotterPhantomKitten reviews
AU. 6 has lived in a facility for much of his life - a torturous place of bars and wires. Tortured and scarred, 6 eventually tries to escape, running into a group of stitchpunks from the outside. Can 6 trust them, and be freed from 1's control?
9 - Rated: T - English - Angst/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,975 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 8 - Published: 2/3/2010 - 6
A Friendly Crash by Skipper96 reviews
My take on what happens when Jed and Octavious crash the Hummer. No spoilers for the second movie. Non slash.
Night at the Museum - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,150 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/17/2010 - Jededaiah S., Octavius G. - Complete
A Christmas Accident by Merrypsimon reviews
A contest submission for the9club on . Winner for "Best Emotional Response" and "Best Action". 5 and 6 decide to go outside on a snowy day. That is, until something bad happens
9 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,167 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/28/2009 - 6, 5 - Complete
Twinkle by Twinkle by Kali Cephirot reviews
Ray meets Evangeline when he's young and naïve; she's the prettiest firefly that had ever twinkled upon the Bayou. ONE SHOT, FINISHED.
Princess and the Frog - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,097 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/14/2009 - Ray - Complete
Ice Age: Crossed Paths by fuyuOkamix reviews
Just after Manny and his herd left Buck and the dinosaur world, trouble was brewing already for another adventure. Join another weasel on a strange and deranged journey to get back to the surface world, that is, if nothing stands in the way.
Ice Age - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,493 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/9/2009 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Buck
The Stitchpunk of Notre Dame by PotterPhantomKitten reviews
Based off of "The Hunchback of Notre Dame". Raised and kept in a small room in Notre Dame, 6 is regarded as being a monster by his master, 1, and the entire city. But when a gypsy warrior named 7 arrives, 6 must find a way to free themselves from 1.
9 - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,294 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/28/2009 - Published: 11/8/2009 - 6
The Vestigial Organ Recall by kmd5133 reviews
Sheldon gets sick. The guys bail on him, so it's Penny to the rescue
Big Bang Theory - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 7 - Words: 10,246 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 323 - Follows: 67 - Updated: 10/17/2009 - Published: 9/30/2009 - Sheldon C., Penny - Complete
Pained Art by KaziRede reviews
When 6 is injured, 5 tries his best to get the artist to get help from 2. But how does one keep a panicking artist from acting out?
9 - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,832 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/25/2009 - 5, 6
Weighted by Non Sequitur Metus reviews
Pre-movie Fic. Six was not designed with that awkward key around his neck... Two-shot
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,182 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 12 - Published: 9/25/2009 - 6
Frozen by Robin Gurl reviews
The Fellowship is up in the cold mountains and Pippin falls ill. Movie Canon, Pippin Centric, NON SLASH Please REVIEW. Thank you for the favorites but I'd like some feedback too.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,941 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 26 - Published: 8/25/2009 - Peregrin T., Meriadoc B.
Medical help by Predsfan reviews
CRANE X VIPER. When Viper bites Crane and he gets Poisoned. Can Viper raise him back to good health? R&R day 4 is up.
Kung Fu Panda - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,210 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 8/24/2009 - Published: 7/21/2008 - Crane, Viper
Last Chances by In The Beginning reviews
The door's locked; the nightmare's over. Or so Coraline thinks. But even villains can get one last chance... Five years after the movie. Slight CoralinexWybie
Coraline - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 28,278 - Reviews: 204 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 8/7/2009 - Published: 2/14/2009 - Wybie L., Other Wybie
You can't crush a cockroach by Friends-are-Forever 101 reviews
Dr. Cockroach always said you can't crush a cockroach, but who ever said anything about crushing one. Dr. Cockroach gets mortally wounded and it looks far worse than being crushed. T for blood and a little violence.
Monsters vs. Aliens - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Complete
9:53 pm by tamba243 reviews
Lightning flashed into the great clock, revealing the shadows of two mice scurrying up along the wall towards the escape waiting for them outside.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,275 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 19 - Published: 3/11/2009 - Ratigan - Complete
Beastly by oddsends reviews
Not everything that goes 'bump' in the night is to be feared...
Coraline - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,257 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 5 - Published: 3/2/2009 - Wybie L., Coraline J. - Complete
It's Just Good Monkey Business by Gangster 90 reviews
A "missing scene" from AWE. But no major spoilers. And no slash. This is how I think Pintel and Ragetti were able to shoot Jack the monkey out of the cannon. Please read and review.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,010 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/2/2009 - Pintel, Ragetti - Complete
A Distant Light by rotterdam reviews
During a surprise pirate attack, Jack is badly wounded. Will he pull through, or have his nine lives finally run out?
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,658 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/16/2008 - Capt. Jack Sparrow, William T./Bootstrap Bill - Complete
Critters Vs Gremlins: Desert Storm by The Bell Tolls for Thee reviews
When the bloodthirsty Critters from space land in Stillwater, Texas, they begin to feed. But a mysterious species of Earth creatures seemingly come to the rescue, and the war begins! Chapter 2 up! Please R&R!
Gremlins - Rated: T - English - Horror/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,964 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/5/2008 - Published: 7/2/2008
Breathe by omalleyanatomy26 reviews
Ben and Abi finds out Riley has asthma at the worst possible time. When they are in the tunnels and Mitch steals the inhaler forcing them to continue to save Riley's life. PLEASE REVIEW! UPDATED!
National Treasure - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,279 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 6/15/2008 - Published: 5/24/2008
Silent Killer by Rose of Hope reviews
Sometimes the deadliest way to die is not by guns or knives or bombs. Sometimes the deadliest way to die is by something silent. Something that even the most skilled inspectors cannot even think about inspecting. Full summary inside.
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 870 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 6 - Published: 4/27/2008
Light and Dark by IamAngel624 reviews
[Brave Little Toaster] A lamp is shines light in the darkness, but what if there's darkness inside of him? Lampy's POV of his sacrifice, oneshot.
Disney - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,708 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/24/2007 - Complete
The Shark Attack by Lauren Wagner reviews
Jack wants some very precious pearls and he sends Ragetti to get them. Will Pintel be able to save him from Jack's madness? Set before the first movie
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,963 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/3/2007 - Ragetti, Pintel - Complete
Nuts by Contraltissimo reviews
Jack spends too much time in one place... and things start to get a little crazy. Rated T if you're British.
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 938 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/2/2007 - Complete
Autumn Daze by Robin Gurl reviews
A weird disease attacks Children during the Autumn Season. Most children don't survive the illness. Will Pippin? RR
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,860 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 7/8/2006 - Published: 12/21/2002 - Peregrin T., Meriadoc B.
Unwell by Fritz Will Get You reviews
Puss has been poisoned, and it's up to the others to find out why. Meanwhile, Puss has to put up with the challenges of being sick. Better then it sounds, I'm just bad at summarys. Read and review!
Shrek - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,556 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/18/2004 - Published: 11/14/2004
The Story of An Outcast by Megana reviews
Fidget the Bat is not quite what he seems to be...
Great Mouse Detective - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,574 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/28/2004 - Complete
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Gracebeast reviews
Sequel to Gracepunk. It's been eight months since the Factory was destroyed. They thought they were safe, but they were wrong. Now they have to fight deadlier enemies... and themselves. Be warned. It will get dark. Second installment to the Gracepunk trilogy.
9 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,148 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/20 - Published: 3/16 - 9
Volcano Quest reviews
Sequel/companion piece to Dead by Dawn. Hiccup is sent on a Quest to find the mysterious Fire Diamond and stop the volcano on Dragon Island from erupting. The only problem: he's racing against his cousin, Snotlout. Not related to the fifth book at all!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 21,795 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/26 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Hiccup, Snotlout
Monkey Business reviews
I'm back! Sequel to Seeing Double. Nico goes away to visit his family, leaving Pedro alone for a week. How much trouble can one small bird possibly cause in a week?
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,039 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Published: 2/9 - Rafael, Pedro, Nico, King Mauro
Gracepunk reviews
Crossover with the book Graceling. All of the 9 characters are Graced, and everywhere they turn, somebody is hunting them. But it's very hard to run when the bad guys are Graced too...
9 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Supernatural - Chapters: 18 - Words: 84,478 - Reviews: 96 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 2/6 - Published: 4/26/2012 - 9 - Complete
Thin Ice reviews
A young Kristoff learns the hard way why harvesting ice is so dangerous. Takes place before the movie.
Frozen - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,644 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 6 - Published: 11/30/2013 - Kristoff B., Sven - Complete
Taste of Poison reviews
What exactly did Gollum do after Bilbo stole the ring? Well, he discovered that Bilbo had been poisoned. Movie universe, Gollum's point of view. That's literally the best summary I can give.
Hobbit - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 653 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/20/2013 - Gollum - Complete
Cloudy Hope reviews
Darker version of movie. Flint is a cripple, Sam has a brother, and it all changes from there. Takes place before, during, and after the movie. Rated T for some dark/sad parts. Possible Brent/OC, maybe a tiny bit of Tim/OC. Some RIB situations.
Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 53,647 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 2/2/2013 - Published: 2/24/2011
Infection reviews
Sequel to Fever. Just when they thought the danger had passed, a new enemy has arisen, and it leaves it's victims crippled and paralyzed. The only one who can save them is 6, the one who has already been crippled and scarred. But he has no idea how much trouble he's in. And how can he possibly save the others without dying himself...?
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,047 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/16/2012 - 6
Curse of the Spider reviews
How did Nico and Pedro become arachnaphobic? It all started one morning when an incredibly large and incredibly poisonous spider crawled into their hollow... Prequel to all my other stories. Rating may change.
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,040 - Reviews: 80 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 26 - Updated: 9/23/2012 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Pedro, Nico
Fever reviews
Stitchpunks don't get sick. But there's one Beast still out there that can give them a fever. And it's hunting them down. Post movie AU where everyone survived, NOT a slash. Enjoy!
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 51,146 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/27/2012 - Published: 2/9/2012 - 6, 5 - Complete
Punk Sitting reviews
8 is left to babysit 3, 4, and 6... what could possibly go wrong! NOT A SLASH! Happy 8 Appreciation Month!
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,246 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/8/2012 - 8, 6 - Complete
I Know Your Source reviews
The Scientist gave half of his creativity to 6. The other half, he gave to the Fabrication Machine. So what happened to 6 when he was killed? Mostly movie canon with a few differences. Spoilers duh...
9 - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,761 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 7 - Published: 3/25/2012 - 6, The BRAIN - Complete
Twelve Days Of Potter reviews
"On the first day of Hogwarts, my Dark Lord gave to me..." Haha, it may be a little late for Christmas, but that doesn't stop it from behind awesome! Enjoy.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 485 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/19/2012 - Complete
Seeing Double reviews
Sequel to Bottled Up. When Nico's identical twin brother, Rico, hears about Nico's kidnapping, he comes to visit. And with Maurice still out there and two identical canaries... the danger level just got even higher. Rating may change.
Rio - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 16 - Words: 47,836 - Reviews: 243 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 2/14/2012 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Nico - Complete
Zero reviews
"Um... 6? What is that?" 6 finds a new friend out in the Emptiness: a bug. Will 1 let him keep it? Post movie, AU where everyone lived, no slash. Enjoy!
9 - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,981 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/23/2012 - 6 - Complete
The Great Cape Caper reviews
1 was being more of a jerk than usual, so 5 and 6 pull a prank on him. What do they do? Why, steal his beloved cape of course! Pre-movie. NOT A SLASH! Enjoy...
9 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,091 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/30/2011 - 6, 5 - Complete
Cloudy with a Chance of Gremlins reviews
When the Gremlins invade Swallow Falls, it's up to Flint, Sam, and, of course, Gizmo to stop them. What could possibly go wrong? Written at the request of NR.
Crossover - Gremlins & Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 14,967 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 7/27/2011
Qille's OC Dragon Manual reviews
I've come up with a TON of OC dragons. And here they all are! From Seashade to Shadow Dragon; Drifter to Dagger Claw, they're all right here. You do NOT need to read any of my stories to read this. Learn about a ton of new dragons, all of them mine! D
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,106 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 7/28/2011
A Spark in the Dark reviews
What ever happened to the Gremlin from the school science lab? How did he find his way into Stripe's army? Why is his name Sparky? And the most important question of all: how did he survive? Based during the first movie.
Gremlins - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 6,022 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 7/31/2011
Dead By Dawn reviews
Sequel to Time's Running Out. On the night of the Summer Solstice, Hiccup falls ill under mysterious circumstances. Toothless has until dawn to save him. And what's with the mysterious group of revenge-seeking dragons after them? Toothless-centric story!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 38,619 - Reviews: 131 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 2/13/2011 - Hiccup, Toothless - Complete
Gremlin Major League reviews
The Gremlins play a 'friendly' game of baseball. What could POSSIBLY go wrong? This story was spawned from chocolate and a baseball game, so... enjoy!
Gremlins - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,112 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Published: 7/1/2011 - Complete
Unwashable reviews
"Unwashable, unrinsable." Where did that line come from? This is the story of the first AND LAST time the smugglers tried to give Nigel a bath. Enjoy! Sorry it's so short.
Rio - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,496 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 3 - Published: 6/16/2011 - Nigel - Complete
Bottled Up reviews
Takes place after Deadly Secrets. How does Nico deal with his claustrophobia? And what happened to those marmosets? All questions will be answered. Rating subject to change. THIS IS A TWO-SHOT!
Rio - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 27,894 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 6/8/2011 - Published: 5/1/2011 - Nico, Pedro - Complete
Just a Scratch reviews
You guys talked me into writing it: the story on how Gnomeo got that scratch.
Gnomeo & Juliet - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,358 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Gnomeo - Complete
Deadly Secrets reviews
Pedro has a secret: he can't swim. He didn't know how much this would affect his life, and he didn't know it would endanger the life of his best friend, Nico. Rated T for blood and because I'm paranoid.
Rio - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,108 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 15 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Nico, Pedro - Complete
One Year Later reviews
For the HTTYD anniversary! Hiccup and Toothless get invited to a dragon party, and much chaos ensues. Includes a drunken Toothless and my opinion on how Hiccup lost his foot! Please review!
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,708 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/26/2011 - Toothless, Hiccup - Complete
Tears of a Night Fury reviews
one-shot about how Hiccup and Toothless found out that dragon tears can cure certain poisons. Deviates from the 6th book.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,051 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Hiccup, Toothless - Complete
Time's Running Out reviews
Hiccup gets poisoned and only has 12 hours to find a cure. Can he stay out of trouble long enough to be cured? Will it be the poison that gets to Hiccup first, or something else? And why does a violent character from Toothless's past show up? RIB story
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,486 - Reviews: 103 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/11/2011 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Hiccup, Camicazi - Complete
How Camicazi Found Out reviews
just a quick little one-shot about how Camicazi found out that Hiccup lost his foot. Brief moment of fluff at the end, just for all you fluff lovers. My first story. Be nice.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,087 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Hiccup, Camicazi - Complete
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