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Author has written 1 story for D.Gray-Man.
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR PURE WHITE FEELING READERS (11/26/14)
So, it is confirmed. My mom has about a year left. The story is coming back, but I have been working on my grades. It's hard to stay focused all the time with your mom dying at home!
That was supposed to be a joke.
Anyhow, patience. Thanks!
IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR PURE WHITE FEELING READERS (09/14/14)
Well, the story is coming back! Trust me. I have a few of the original chapters done, but I'm going to wait until all 22 chapters are done before posting them again. This way, you have more to read and you don't have to wait in agony for the next chapter! Well, I suppose you do have to wait once you get to chapter 22, but still. Good enough.
Also, I have some bad news that may delay me a bit, but not stop.
My mom's got terminal cancer :C
I'll continue the story. I would NEVER abandon a story. I may take a long time to update, but that doesn't mean I abandoned it. :) I still like my story, so be patient as I finish revising the chapters! I'm also looking forward to working on chapters 23-30 soon. I might update them as a group. Like, I'll update chapters 7-22, work on chapters 23-30, then update chapters 23-30 all at once. Y'know? So be patient, because they're coming back!
As another note, I did notice that the first 6 chapters were horrendously different from the ones I originally posted. Yes, yes, I know. Chapters 7-9 are different too, but I'm keeping 10-22 the same with a few minor changes here and there and a rewrite of the situation. Capiche? :) Patience
GENDER: Opposite of you...probably...unless you're a girl...
EYE COLOR: Blue/Yellow (I AM NOT HETEROCHROMIA! I have blue eyes with lotsa yellow)
HEIGHT: I dunno. I'm getting shorter and shorter these days.
HAIR COLOR: Strawberry Blonde thanks to a hair dyeing process gone wrong.
DO I HAVE A LIFE: Not particularly.
YURI OR YAOI: Yaoi damnit. Yaoi.
MANGA OR ANIME: Manga. You can stare at the pictures.
HORSES OR ZEBRAS: I choose...*epicly takes off sunglasses*..HEBRAS...
"TRIPLE DOG" OR "WOULD YOU RATHER": Triple Dog. Hands down.
BIRTHDAY: May 7, 1998. HAHAHA. MY NAME IS MAY, AND MY BIRTHDAY IS IN MAY! HOW IRONICALLY COOL!
BEAVER OR DUCK: I am a duck. I WILL GO DOWN WITH MY DUCKLINGS IN HUNTING SEASOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!!!!!!
BURGERVILLE OR BURGERKING: Y'know, at some point, I thought they were the same place. But I choose Burgerville. I LOVE their secret sauce.
FREE TIME: I write stories. And then get yelled at about my laziness by my mother (who we just found out has terminal cancer as of 09/15/14).
PETS: Family dog (Maxwell), two cats (Oscar and Madeline), my sister's fish, and my gecko (EL-CHESTO PACO ARPEGGIO SIMON ROTH III)
FRIENDS: Hm. I have some. I do, I really do.
FAMILY: One mother (this will change sadly), one father, three brothers and five sisters. And yet, I happen to be the youngest.
WRITING TOOL: MY BROWN SHARPIE! I LOVE IT. WHEN I WRITE, IT'S BROWN AND LATER IT'S BROWN AND RED!
BOOK: Oh. I don't know. I've read a lot of books, most I can't remember. And I read too fast anyways so I don't comprehend anything really.
GAME: THE VEGETABLE GAME! When my friend does it, she looks like a grandma with no teeth and she's the reason I always lose.
FAVORITE SHOES: My black hitops with double laces (blue and purple on both shoes)
WATER OR MILK: Water.
FRUIT OR VEGETABLES: Fruit.
ART OR READING: Crap. Erm...art..?
COLORED PENCILS OR MARKERS: MARKERS DAMNIT. I personally do not like colored pencils, although I have more than 200 of them by chance...
FEAR: Centipedes and millipedes. I mean, c'mon! Aren't they just so disgusting?! With their.. little legs that.. crawl all over.. like nobody's business.. GOD it just creeps me out. *shudders*
My name is I-like-to-read-and-write-D.grayman-stories-because-I-am-a-yullen-fan-times-a-million-and-nobody-can-tell-me-they've-seen-each-episode-more-than-7-times-and-I-have-wallpapers-of-each-character-and-I-have-read-almost-more-than-1000-stories-on-fanfiction-regarding-yullen-and-D.grayman-and-I-have-dreamed-about-yullen-and-I'm-a-bigger-fan-than-you-so-there. It's nice to meet you.
My favorite pairing is Yullen
When I tell people my name, they laugh and ask me if it's really my name. I ask them if Breedlove and Greenleaf are really my teacher's names. I always win.
HALEY: If condoms had a flavor, what would flavor would you be?
ME: Well, let's see. Everyone likes cherry so I guess I'd be cherry.
JEFF: If you asked your mom, would she say yes?
ME: YES. OH MY GOD, I WOULD SAY YES TIMES A MILLION. GODDAMN, I WOULD!
10 seconds before realization of the question.
ME: Wait, repeat that. I think I answered the question in my head, not yours.
MRS. HALL(teacher): Oscar, it's so good to see you again!
OSCAR: You too.
MRS. HALL(teacher): I see you've gotten taller.
OSCAR: I see you've gotten pregnant.
HALEY: I love Thor dude!
ME: Thor dude? You mean the Huntsman? Or William?
HALEY: I don't know. The guy who was Thor in the movie Thor.
ME: HE WAS IN THERE?! WHAT!
HALEY: He kissed Snow White when she "died". Like, she was on the table thing.
ME: OH! THE HUNTSMAN! HE WAS THOR?! WHAT! ..My life just became complicated.
HALEY: You did not notice?
ME: NO, I DIDN'T. I'm oblivious to life.
HALEY: That was the first thing I noticed.
ME: THAT WOULD BE THE LAST THING I WOULD NOTICE. The first thing I noticed when I saw him was that he was ugly when he's drunk.
HALEY: I have to go to my cousin's on Saturday. I hate Matthew.
ME: Matthew, as in the-one-who-shall-not-be-named Matthew? The once-he-treated-you-nice-but-then-he-turned-out-to-be-an-ass Matthew?
HALEY: No. Matthew as in my cousin who's from New Jersey.
HALEY: Well this Matthew is an ass. He called me a dick.
ME: Oh. Call him a ball-less rainbow chaser. That should make things even.
HALEY: He will tattle on me.
ME: Tattle on him back. Damned brats in this world need to know their place. Get the weapon chest if it comes down to it.
This was on Oovoo video call and chat. I was responding to their remarks on the video chat (I don't have a video camera).
ME: I WUPPLE YOU!
ME: I have no idea
ME: I dunno
ME: If it's a bad word in another language, then excuse me
ME: Of course
ME: I eated her.
ME: I don't knows proper grammers. I AM FROM THE DAYS OF THE DINOS
ME: My name are no longer Mays
ME: My names is Junga
ME: And I is annoys by hers too
ME: OH MY GOSHES! HER FACE! I DON'T LOOKS AT HER FACE UNTIL NOWS!
HALEY: D: Y'all hate me?
ME: UNCLE FRED, GETS THE HAMMER! WE HAS A RAMPAGE DINO ON THE LOOSES!
ME: no we love you haley c:
HALEY:You friggin better :
ME: we does D8
ME: date meaned times we thinks.
ME: Haley, our clan invited you to joins us at the calls room.
ME: Welcome backeth, madam Haley.
ME: Our duty mightn't of continued onward if you hadn't returneth.
ME: Madam Haley, that face is not lady-liketh.
HALEY: ...I don't give a crappith.
ME: Crapith does not belongeth in a sentenceth for a youngeth lady liketh you. Crapith belongeth in the crapper.
HALEY: Too badith..
ME: Madam lady, that faceth is not appropriateth.
ME: IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE NO NOOOSE! LMFAO I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF RIGHT NOW
ME: Dyingeth of laughtereth.
HALEY: It is lady-liketh. (: In Haley Kingdom.
ME: Well, in Pormtopia we do not doeth thateth.
HALEY: Too badeth.. I'm a free womaneth
ME: YOU ARE A WOMENTH WITH NO RIGHTSETH!
ME: lololol you get it?
HALEY: LOL Yes Madam.
ME: No. That was not what I was aiming for but okay. That theory works too.
ME: Porm looks like Porn and I wanted to see if you guys would snap and say I'm gross and then I would point it out and make myself look smarter than I am. My plan has failedeth.
HALEY: I knew that.
HALEY: But i just liked the name (:
ME: Who is Junga? I ameth Bradford Kingston Roberto-Amelia Jonhson Lucas Henry the III.
ME: NO. It is disrespectfuleth. I saideth no such thingeth.
ME: I AM A NEW PERSON! PEOPLE CHANGE!
Why kiss the feet of the people who kick you?
Random space. NOMGLARPNOMGLARPNOMGLARPFAP.
Hrm... I kinda wanna read some yaoi x)
"Sometimes, I bully myself so much that I make myself cry.
Sometimes, I cry alone because nobody hears me.
Sometimes, I pretend that my stuffed animals always hear me.
Sometimes, I spend hours putting my stuffed animals back together again.
Sometimes, I waste my hours away thinking of what could be.
Sometimes, I think so deeply that I think myself to sleep.
Sometimes, I can't sleep at night because of nightmares.
Sometimes, my nightmares are really my dreams.
Sometimes, my dreams are what scare me the most.
Sometimes, I force myself awake because my dreams are scary.
Sometimes, I awake with tears in my eyes.
Sometimes, my tears come when they shouldn't.
Sometimes, my tears don't come when they should.
Sometimes, I cry when I think of myself.
Sometimes, I bully myself so much that I make myself cry."
Every time I look at you,
My heart stops.
Every time you look at me,
You look right through me.
Every time I talk to you,
I compliment you.
Every time you talk to me,
You insult me.
Every time I hear your voice,
I melt inside.
Every time you hear my voice,
You walk away.
Every time I accidentally brush against you,
I feel like I can fly.
Every time you accidentally brush again me,
You act disgusted.
Every time I smell your scent,
I want to hold you.
Every time you smell my scent,
You want to make me vanish.
Every time I try to hate you,
I start hating myself.
Every time you try hating me,
You never fail.
Every time I try loving you,
I always exceed.
Every time you try loving me,
I wake up from my dream.
waiting for a second chance.
I spend mine waiting
for a first.
They say, that if
you love something,
let it go.
But I can't let go,
because I never held him.
I'll still be here though,
waiting for that
The wind will rush
and the air will dry.
Our minds will brush
and my heart will cry.
Searching for you,
my hands will reach.
our love will bleach.
You fade away
until you're gone.
Throughout the days,
I'll stare beyond.
The clouds will hover
over the sky.
The thunder will cover
the reasons why.
I'm left alone,
and my heart does dread.
In the grave of my own,
for I am dead.
But waiting for him,
I hold my soul.
The light so dim
has tightened my hold.
It's easy to date
the years and more,
but hard to hate
the person I wait for.
You said we'll never be together,
but darling, you know that
never means forever.
You said we wouldn't last,
but sugar, you know that
wouldn't means would.
You said you can't love me,
but silly, you know that
can't means can.
Don't make me wait anymore..
you always saw her,
but never saw me?
you always smiled at her,
but never at me?
you always had time for her,
but never for me?
you always had roses for her,
but never any for me?
you always hugged her,
but never hugged me?
you were nice to her,
but not to me?
you went to her birthday,
but not to my funeral?
you loved her,
when I was your "love"?
you call her angel,
when I'm the one protecting your soul..?
If you have ever eaten worms 'cause they looked like the gummy worms, that's 1 point.
If you have ever run into poles while looking straight at them, that's 1 point. And a headache.
If you have ever cried because of a shape that you didn't like, that's 1 point.
If you have ever argued with yourself and got your ass kicked, that's 1 point.
If you have ever tripped on flat surface, that's 1 point.
If you have ever slipped on carpet, that's 1 point.
If you have ever sat at the computer laughing at nothing, that's 1 point.
If you have ever laughed at your own jokes when they don't make sense, that's 1 point.
If you have ever plotted to kill everyone at some point in your life, that's 1 point.
If you have ever broke a brush by throwing it at a door, that's 1 point.
If you have ever given somebody a bloody nose from dancing, that's 1 point.
If you have ever sang a foreign song and not know what it meant, that's 1 point.
If you have ever punched yourself in the stomach because your friend said it helped stomach pains, that's 1 point.
If you have ever had something smart to say but didn't know how to say it, that's 1 point.
If you talk nonsense in your sleep, that's 1 point.
If you have ever used a word in a sentence without knowing what it meant, that's 1 point.
If you have ever been attracted to stickers romantically, that's 1 point.
If you have ever passed out on the bus from holding your breath, that's 1 point.
If you have ever had somebody sit on your face and their jeans had buttons on the butt, that's 1 point.
If you have ever screamed at your computer because of things manga characters have done, that's 1 point.
If you have ever argued with your computer when it can't talk, that's 1 point.
If you have ever fallen down the stairs with a tuba, that's 1 point.
If you have ever had your shorts fall off while jumping in the pool, that's 1 point.
If you have ever sprayed your eyes with hand sanitizer because someone told you to, that's 1 point.
COUNT UP YOUR POINTS AND BE HONEST!
0-5 points: Your sanity is in check. Work on that.
6-10 points: You have some sanity left. Keep trying.
11-15 points: It's gone. Your sanity, that is.
16-20 points: It's getting a little whacked in your brain. Will you be alright?
21-25 points: Welcome to my world. I'll introduce you to my life.
I've done everything up there cause that's my list. xDxD
I know why I die so silently, but I still ask myself every day why I'm dying inside.
When I want to be invisible, I'm always on display. When I want to be noticed, I'm always invisible. Everything is backwards. That explains why I'm still alive.
If I laugh, it means I'm hurting. If I smile, it means I'm crying. If I hurt, it means I'm dying. If I cry, it means I've died but I'm still living.
Caring never seems so hard until you lose what you love.
I yearn for what I can't have, so it makes losing what I already have harder than it should be.
I'm here to pick people up when they fall, but there's nobody to pick me up when I fall. I guess that's why I'm so far down in the hole that I can't see the light.
The worst kind of pain is being dead but still living and breathing. It's especially painful when people let you slip so easily and don't realize you've died a long time ago.
Everyone sings a melody
-Me (My short song lyrics :D I WRITE SONGS!)
What I feel and what nobody knows about me
I know that I'm not invisible to people. I know that they pay attention to me, but maybe I don't want the attention because I feel pressured to let everything out. I smile because everyone expects me to be the cheery girl who's funny and supportive and is happy no matter what. They don't expect me to be a sexually abused, suicidal and self-harming girl who cries alone at night sometimes because nobody hears her. My eyes are screaming, and nobody sees it. I am dying, and nobody sees it. I am hurting, and nobody sees it. That's why I cry. I cry because nobody questions whether I'm really happy or not. I know that nobody cares about my feelings when they're hurt, so I act happy to please everyone. I feel like a servant when I do that, trying to please everyone despite what I think is right for me. And what I think is right for me is to be needed, not wanted. Nobody seems to want me anyways. They pretend they care, but I've figured them out. That's the trick of actually seeing people. You understand what they think of you, and I know nobody cares. It hurts, because I care for them when they don't care for me. When people hurt, they come to me because I offer them advice despite the pain I try to hold in. One thing that hurts me most is nobody seems to be running after me when I leave yet I see the same people running after those who push them away.
I seem to be looking for something, but I don't know what it is. I might have given up and I just can't see it yet, but I might still be looking and I haven't found it because I don't know what I'm looking for. I guess I'll just never stop running. Can I even call it running? Nothing is making me fall, but I go down anyways. Yes, I bring myself up but it's another bruise to my skin. What difference is there between skin and mind? They're both part of us, and they both can hurt. And it's hurting me. I don't think the word is "sad" or "unhappy" to describe me. I think the word that might be used to describe my pain is "alive". I'm alive, and it hurts. It hurts more than any pain I've ever felt. I think that's why I cry so silently. I don't want people to make my life anymore realistic than it is. If my life becomes real more than it is, I think I'll die, and not from suicide, but from a broken body and mind. And it's for that reason that I cry alone at night.
I can't tell anyone about this. They wouldn't care. Everyone seems to care about their own problems, and whether mine are actually important or not won't change that. If I died, would anyone remember me 50 years from now? Or would I just be another story that parents tell their kids to teach them about caring? I think that's what's so hurtful to me. If I die now and become a story later, then why am I important? If parents tell their kids to say what they feel about that person to their face yet they had to get the story off of somebody's life, how much better are they? Tell me. How much better are parents if they use the price of somebody's life to get a worthwhile story that helps their kids, and even when they knew that person that died? It may be a lesson learned, but do they really go and do what they say? If I came back from the dead and was immortal, would anybody treat me differently than they had? Or would they continue to say nothing to me just because I couldn't die?
This is me. I'm not some fanfiction author that just writes stories, plays games and has no life. I have a life, and in that life, I have my personal thoughts and my own world. Unfortunately, that world is slowly being destroyed. I can't stop it from happening, because I'm being destroyed with it.
I don't copy and paste, sorry. XP Everything up there is mine. Copy&Paste something to your profile if you like it, but make sure not to claim credit because I was the one who did the work. (:
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