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Joined 02-03-11, id: 2733926, Profile Updated: 10-21-12
Author has written 2 stories for Batman Begins/Dark Knight.

About Me:I'm from England and yes I drink tea, pretty much all the time, no I don't ride a horse or fox hunt. I sadly don't know the Queen either. I'm from Newcastle so I'm a geordie and proud! I'm also a student (studying English in case you were interested) so I'll pretty much try and upload stories when I can. If my stories seem rambling I like to write things down quickly so I don't forget them. Reviews are always welcome =) I don't do flammers...at all, it's not the best way of telling someone their story needs work. I wouldn't want it doing to my work so I don't do it to others; there are so many other ways of giving more contructive points to people. I try and balance my time between writing my own stories and reviewing others; there are so many good writers and stories out there that I take my time reading them.

P.s I've a lot on this profile page...I don't like empty space! Read f you wish, laugh if you want! Drop me a line of you fancy talking!

Interests- films: Dark Knight, Batman Begins, Candy, Green Mile, Shawshank Redemption, BrokeBack Mountain, Juno, Elizabeth, Corpse Bride, A Nightmare Before Christmas, Gladiator, Walk The Line to name a few.

TV: Grey's Anatomy, Will And Grace, Family Guy, The Only Way Is Essex, Teen Mom, True Blood, The Hills, Sex And The City, Gavin And Stacey, Friends, Americas Next Top Model, Sex And The City, Four Weddings, The Mentalist, CSI, X Factor, The Tudors.

Music: Pretty much all kinds; Britney (I LOVE her, she does nothing to anyone and I've loved her since I was a kid and am still rocking out to her so many years on), Cheryl Cole, Girls Aloud, A Fine Frenzy, Joss Stone, Ellie Goulding, Thriving Ivory, Linkin Park, James Blunt, Does It Offend You, Yeah? Alicia Keys, Alexandra Burke, Black Eyed Peas, Katy Perry, Kesha, Kings Of Leon, Lady GaGa, Lifehouse, Michael Jackson, One Republic, Timbaland, The Saturdays, The Script.


Quotes for yours and my entertainment:
"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."

'When the pads a rocking, dont come a knocking. Oh and FYI the pad will always be rockin'

'Come on, Jack, let's try the back door.
...Will Truman! Coming on to me at a time like this!'

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

Cheryl: I think you are awful.
Karen: Oh yeah? Well I think stretch pants are awful, but I am too much of a lady to say it, FAT ASS.
[to Jack]
Karen: Could you believe that?
[scoffs]
Karen: Some people, so tactless.

Karen: Im Anastacia Beaverhousen. Anastacia like russian royalty and beaverhousen like...where the beaver live

Grace: I see the way you look at me when I shave my legs.
Will: Well, that's because it happens so infrequently, I have to take a minute to figure out what you're doing.

Clarissa (my sister to much laughter): What langauge do Spanish people speak?

Me to my brother Cole: How many spoonfulls of veg do you eat a day? It's supposed to be loads aint it?
Cole:er i dont eat my veg with a spoon i use a fork... why what do you eat yours with?

Clarissa to me: Dal whats the name of that planet they havent discovered yet?

Me at a football match when a player spat: "Eurgh, that's disgusting. Doesn't he know it's only polite to swallow?"

Some random guy at uni: "I warn everyone, I'm feeling really gay right now."

My bf: Colin farrell does a really good irish accent, seriously it sounds so real!"
Me- Babe thats because he is Irish...
BF:Really cause I thought he was american, he looks amercian dont he?"

Abi my friend- "I don't trust dolphins; they're up to something, bet they kill people and just blame the sharks..yeah thats what happens."
Me: Er yeah thats exactly what happens...

Me: What are you going to put in the boxes?
BF: ...My penis.
(He thought I was asking about the boxers he had in his hand)

My Boyfriend(while talking to me on the phone): "Babe I'm gonna have to go I've lost my phone and I need it to call me mam with"
Me: "...It's in your hand babe"

(Talking to a bartender about cigarette packets with the picture of the cigarette on it)
Him: "This one doesn't bother me at all"
Me: "yeah?"
Him: "yeah "SMOKING CAN CAUSE IMPOTENCE" , I don't want kids anyway so to be honest I'm not fussed really"
Me: "you still wanna have sex though, right?"

me ranting about a friend meeting a guy off the net: God I aint being harsh but you dont know do you? He could be a paedophile or anything!
Abi: Yeah but shes ninteen...
Me:...Yeah well still..I dont know what goes on in the mind of a perv do I?!

MY room mate Sam to my bf: Mate, if you saw me walking down the street would you think I was gay?
BF: Um no. why?
Sam: Coz i think i look well gay.
BF:...

My brother Dwayne at the pub: Why are there morning after pills in the condom machine in the men's toilets?
Me: What are you on about?
Dwayne: There are those things called 'Resolve: for the morning after' I were gonna get some but its like why would I need them...i dont do I?
Me: They're for hangovers...

Sam: I quite fancy Henry Cavill
Me, Dwayne and Abi: You what?
Sam: You know how everyone has that one person that turns them gay? Well, mine's Henry Cavill. Don't you have one mate?
Dwayne: Er, no...

Me: How do you mash a potato? Do you peel it first, then mash it? Or the other way round?

Me to my bf: I cant be bothered to go out tonight I mean you've just got in and i''ve been at uni and work all day so I'll just cook something quick.
BF: oh god babe do you have to? Cant we just eat out? No offence but I can think of you doing better things than that.

Me: Batteries are so expensive, can you buy second-hand ones? I mean I aint being tight but seriously there getting dead expensive and I'm a student, its all good getting clothes with a student card but what about everything else?
Abi: What do you need them for like, isnt mat back?
Me: Dont be dirty and I cant bloody remember now! But its always good to have some spare aint it? For like clocks and stuff...

Abi after getting a speed ticket: Thats just great, birds fly fast and i've never seen one of them get a fucking ticket!

Sam: Sometimes I think of Frank Lampard when Im having sex
All of us: What?
Sam: Yeah I swear it makes me last longer. And if not him, I think of tennis.
Abi: Dude are you sure you're not gay?
Sam: (thinking) God I do sound gay dont I? (to me) its your fault you turned me down now look at me!

Me: Honestly i wish you didn't have to be such a knob, cause seriously you can be at times.
BF: WHAT? is that your subtle way of telling me your a lesbian, I mean I thought it were weird you and Abi share a bed...
Me: wtf are you talking about? would you rather I share it with another guy?!
BF: you said you wished i didn't have a knob! And you can just have abi in MY bed thanks, maybe Sam I think he's on the turn anyways.

Chole my friend: And well all know you turned him gay!
Me: You what?! Abi kissed him way before I did; she tied the noose round his neck I just kicked the chair!

BF to me: Babe when do you want kids and stuff like that? I mean I aint pressuring you but you aint getting any younger and I'm like twenty four so you know...no pressure.

BF: what does mushroom soup taste like?
Me: like mushrooms you fool

BF to me: You're so pretty, if we were dogs I'd go for you, cause you know dogs go for anyone dont they?

My bf to me when he was on holiday in france: ''im here now , its bloody hot and they all speak french babe''

BF to me: I looked over at you last night and I thought you werent breathing so I poked you and you still didnt wake up so I just left you. I mean you were still gonna be there in the morning werent ya? And look you're alive so its all good then.

Me: This guy keeps poking me...
Abi: HA! oh yeah?
Me: On facebook, I dunno where i know him from but he keeps poking me... i dont wanna poke him back or he'll get ideas...


A quiz sent to me by an admirer...oo er!

1. What's your name/nickname?

I'll give you my nicknames... la la, chuckles, giggles (God I sound like one of the 7 dwarves!) dimps (I get dimples when I smile)

2. What is your favourite possession?

my pod and my stuffed dog...which I still sleep with...I'm not ashamed of my love for him!

3. How old are you?

Pfft you're not suppose to ask a lady her age...but I'm twenty.

4. If you could tell your last ex something what would you say?

Bad luck mate.

5. Do you own a gun?

Ha I did have a joke lighter in the shape of a gun! But a real gun? No.

7. What's your favourite Christmas song?

All I want for christmas- Mariah Carey version

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?

Black coffee, my breath smells gorgeous in the morn as you can tell!

9. Can you do a push up?

No, I fail at most sports and I have weak wrists!

10. Is your bathroom clean?

Of course! I was on my hands and knees (ha!) this morn cleaning it.

11. Who's your favourite artist?

That'll be britney...I've tickets!*me and Abi cheer*

12. Do you take painkillers?

No...Im that hardcore!

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?

Ha! After my secrets eh?! I'll be giving you enough info to break into my bank account! A nice smile and laugh, I kid you not! Oh and er certain womanly charms I posess... how do you spell that?! If anyones reading this please tell me!

14. Have you ever stole anything?

Yes...sweets when I was younger, jelly beans if you wanna know, black ones that you shouldn't need to pay for, they're that crap! I didnt even eat them, I gave them to my dog!

15. Lyrics from a favourite song?

I'm touching hands with someone seriously beautiful... *listens to chorus of 'awwww's*

16. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment

Crap I've spilt my drink, where's my phone and oh alan carr you hoot!

17. Name the last 3 things you have bought

Coke, Glamour, PINK converse!

18. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink

Coke, fruity water, alcohol

19. Current worry?

I've little money and my bfs in the army (not in that order!)

20. Current hate?

NO MONEY!And I er miss the bf and want him back...Lord I'm going soft, pfft.

21. Favourite place(s) to be?

Either at mine with friends/bf or at home in newcastle, nothing like your own bed and people who can understand you!

22. How did you bring in the New Year?

Kissing my bf, while my best friend hugged me from behind...that sounds dirty, it wasnt really!

23. Where would you like to go?

HA! I just glanced at that and thought it said how would you like to go! But moving on, Italy or LA.

24. Do you own slippers?

No...they're like shoes for old people...so no!

25. What shirt are you wearing?

A grey strappy top with black hearts...my pj top!

26. Favorite color(s)?

Purple, pink

27. Are you gay?

I'm straight the last I checked!

28. Do you sing in the shower?

At the top of my voice!

29. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child

Sharks...even when I was no where near water!

30. Best bed sheets as a child?

Barbie...apologies but Cindy was crap, proper rip off!

31. Worst injury you've ever had?

Where do I start?! My wrist, I've got a pin in it and getting bit by a dog when I was two.

32. Who is your loudest friend?

They all are... though probs Sam who is screeching britney gimme more down my ear at the top of his voice.

33. Who is your most silent friend?

Hmmm this girl I use to know was quiet..so Katie

34. Does someone have a secret crush on you?

It's not secret if I know about it! ahhh I got you!

35. Favourite comedian?

Oooh, alan carr and as I'm taking up time doing this I'll add another; Joan Rivers. Pure filth. God I love her!

36. What is your favourite candy?

I've a very sweet tooth,I like lollies really!

37. What song(s) do/did you want played at your wedding?

Smack my bitch up...ha I joke...or do I?! I doubt I'd be trusted to choose!

38. What song(s) do you want played at your funeral?

Slightly depressing! Erm Ellie Goulding Your Song!

39. What were you doing at 12 AM last night?

Watching Will and Grace and moaning I wanted to sleep, I went to bed at 3.

40. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?

I can't face this time!

41. Who's the last person you talked to and what did you/they say?

My dad... baby girl I love you so much, take it easy and call me when you want- awwwww

Me to my bf: I miss you loads and I'll be here when you get back baby, bella misses you too! (Bella's our dog!)

42. Where are you?

My bouidor! I think I spelt that right...but I love that word!

43. Look up. Now look back.
What do you see?

A lamp shade and a ceiling...and as I write this Sam looking at me wanting food. (ha I made him sound like an animal then!)

44. What's the last thing you ate?

chinose...my word for chinese. Don't ask!

45. Favourite film?

Titanic,Shawshank redemption, candy, brokeback mountain, dark knight... I've too many to just say 1! The others will feel left out!

46. You now have a million pound. What do you do?

Roll around in it...naked.

47. What are you eating/drinking right now?

I'm eating nothing and drinking tropical water.

48. What are you writing RIGHT NOW?

Answering this...fool.

49. Current crush?

How long have you got?! Bale aint so bad!

50. Find a book. Turn to page 56, line 18.

'According to this friend, Jamie's home is a shrine to his daughter with her childhood photos reflecting a father's pride, and perhaps a regret for times lost.' Britney's book if you must know...its by my bed, my bf last used it as a coaster for his mug. A mistake he won't be making any time soon!

51. What can you hear right now?

Sam singing gimme more...and attempting to dance, while he asks if he looks good!

52. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself.

Me: Sam...Sammy...SAMUEL!

Sam: What?!

Me:... Hi!

Sam: (walks off)

Me: No wait! If you're going to the kitchen get me a drink please! and my bag...a snack wouldnt go wrong!

Sam: I'll eat the bloody snack for you as well should I?!

Pfft men!

53. Your views on homosexuality?

Love is love. If it were so bad how come it's two people loving each other? It aint like its murder!

54: Ever kissed anyone of the same sex?

Yes. Ha I'll leave it at that!

55: Put a song on... write some lyrics down!

They keep on watching...cameras are flashing while we're dirty dancing, feels like the crowd is saying!

56: Ever stripped/pole danced/lap danced?

I've been given a lap dance...by my best guy friend ha...whilst he was drunk. I pole danced once when drunk, round a broom!

57: Last time you cried?

An hour ago...because I couldn't do some of my work so freaked and cried!

58: Hair colour?

It was black...its now blonde!

59: Best memories?

Family christmases/holidays, meeting my best friend, going uni and meeting friends, (I like to meet new people!) being introduced to my bf, declaring to my friend 'I always get the short guys (I'm 5 foot 9 he comes up to my chin) I'm not touching him!'...only to be found kissing him 5 hours later! Getting my puppy! And becoming an aunt and godmother...I'm too cute!

60: I wish I could...

Sing and dance! I can do neither but attempt to do both!

61: Want to get married? If yes where?

I do, if my bf will have me! And on a beach, I like the laid back style!

62: Has a girl sat on your bed before?

A girl has slept in my bed before ;) oooo!

63: When was the last time you wanted to punch someone?

Today...and I do most days!

64: What does your last text from a female read?

Abi: I miss you, I didnt think I would after two days but I do!

65: What was your favourite game as a kid?

Duck...duck...GOOOSE!

66: Ever lied about you age?

Many a time, its getting to be a bad habit! I'm actually 33...I'm not, ha now no one will believe me!

67: Wallpaper on your laptop background?

My bf...so I can look at me him all day... I think I just threw up myself just then!

68:Whats the first thing you know about the opposite sex?

The ass... and arms and hands. I like freaky things!

69: When was the last time you shaved your legs?

Ha god...I cant even remember! perhaps they need doing!

70: Look on your friends list on facebook...would you sleep with any of them?

Hell yeah! They're all sexy my friend!


Stories:

So far I've written two stories for Dark Knight (Ledger's very hot Joker naturally) they are as follows:

'The Deepest Cut'- Ahh my first story now complete, very ooc on the Joker's part but it's my story so I just went with it! This story is complete and has been for a while now. Thanks to all those who are still reading this story!

'Sweetest Downfall'- The Sequel to 'The Deepest Cut'- I started this not long after I finished my first story, as it's a sequel I'd suggest reading 'The Deepest Cut' first. This is still in progress and I've no idea when it will be finished, I update as fast as I can for my dedicated readers. I've written pretty much the rest of the story in plans and the way I'm ending it there could be room for a sequel...or two... ahh and the plot thickens!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Housekeeping by Ennya reviews
Working as a maid in one of Gotham's grimiest hotels, Jane figured she'd seen humanity at its very worst. Nothing prepared her for the strange, reclusive guest who liked to buy cans of red, white, and black greasepaint. Pre TDK.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 137,340 - Reviews: 1349 - Favs: 706 - Follows: 706 - Updated: 2/21 - Published: 7/2/2010 - Joker - Complete
Tropical Torment by Shadow Dragoness reviews
I thought it was God's way of finally smiling down upon me. A new career as a writer, a cruise, an island getaway... I just realized far too late that the island getaway was a tropical torment and that the smile was marred by blood-red scars. Joker/OC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 46,119 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 69 - Updated: 3/12/2013 - Published: 12/30/2009 - Joker
She Belongs to Him by xxsewnlipsxx reviews
The Joker kidnapped a seventeen year old girl nearly three months ago. Batman and Gordon have had no luck finding her. When Batman finally catches her wandering the streets, can she finally tell them who the Joker is? Joker/Oc
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 11 - Words: 51,971 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 10/6/2012 - Published: 10/30/2010 - Joker
I'd Rather See You Dead by Foxotr reviews
The Joker had sent the building he had called home up in flames and walked away that day from everything, leaving her and that chapter of his life behind. She was dead. Or so he thought, until he was once again face to face with Angel. Joker/OC Bruce/OC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 53,309 - Reviews: 219 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 80 - Updated: 2/26/2012 - Published: 10/22/2010 - Joker, Bruce W./Batman - Complete
You've Set Your Heart On Haunting Me by LetoLover71 reviews
This is the prequel to my last story "Strange Is What We Aim For." Find out how the Joker and Marissa met and how their whole crazy story started out.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Crime - Chapters: 17 - Words: 29,528 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 11/23/2011 - Published: 3/19/2011 - Joker
βleeding ϟour Ҫhaos by JrOeKnEeRe reviews
Cheeks covered in kohl. Lips bruised. Dress torn. There was no out. It was everywhere. He came closer, I backed away. You could taste that paint, inflamed with it. His mind was anything but blank. Never the same again::Sequel to Carving: JokerxOC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 14,441 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 11/4/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Joker, Bane
A darker love by Cupofthoughts reviews
With a broken heart and no place to go Natalie wanders off into Joker's den. The innocent meets the devil, how can she escape his world when he intends her to stay? Rated M for possible lemon, rape and language. JokerXOC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,121 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 7/4/2011 - Joker
Inkpot by xXfireXflyXx reviews
Two young interns, Frank and Ann, at the Gotham Times look to further their respective careers by listening in on a mob meeting. Little do they know, Jokers frequent mob meetings too.
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 27,459 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 5/13/2011 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Joker
Carving ϟou by JrOeKnEeRe reviews
He saw her as a new challenge. Something to break, play with & manipulate to the core. But she surprises him, catches him off guard to the point of his mind actually being blank. Feels good & unnatural. He better be careful. Always Ace of Knaves. JokerxOC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 26,052 - Reviews: 68 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Joker - Complete
Strange Is What We Aim For by LetoLover71 reviews
A twisted love story between a young woman and the Joker. What happens when Marissa tries to escape an obsessive Joker? Read to find out!
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 29 - Words: 38,029 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 2/15/2011 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Joker - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sweetest Downfall reviews
Life for Madeline Wayne hasn't been the same since the Joker. What will life now be like for her dealing with the aftermath of previous events? And with the appearance of an old foe will she surive this time? Sequel!
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 27 - Words: 107,570 - Reviews: 161 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 5/14/2012 - Published: 3/5/2011 - Joker
The Deepest Cut reviews
"Do you know what it's like to love someone so much, that you can't see yourself without picturing them or remember anyone who came before them? Warning OOC on Joker's behalf!Joker/OC
Batman Begins/Dark Knight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 49,127 - Reviews: 109 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 3/5/2011 - Published: 2/6/2011 - Joker - Complete