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Joined 02-04-11, id: 2735560, Profile Updated: 02-28-12
Author has written 1 story for Misc. Books.

DON'T ASK FOR A REVIEW AND THEN CRY WHEN YOU GET ONE I'm tired of pussy-footing around my reviews. You all beg for them and so now you're gonna get them. Under my not so normal pen name so you can flame back all you want. YOU ASK FOR A REVIEW, then take it.

The definition of a review (from Wikipedia as it's even looser than Webster's Dictionary): A review is an evaluation of a publication, such as a movie (a movie review), video game, musical composition (music review of a composition or recording), book (book review); a piece of hardware like a car, home appliance, or computer; or an event or
performance, such as a live music concert, a play, musical theater show or dance show. In addition to a critical evaluation, the review's author may assign the work a rating to indicate its relative merit.

IF you don't like what I have to say and are embarrassed for others to see my commentary, then by all means. delete it. BUT if you have the courage to defend your work then DO THAT!

Somethings I hate:

1) I HATE Author's Notes! Damn it people, learn to use subscripts and footnotes if you must make a comment inside your work. If you need to, write a separate page or include your comments BEFORE or AFTER your story.

2) PROOF your work! C'mon!!!! You've spent all this time to write a story, take a few minutes to at least read your own work (out loud is often best) and see if what you're saying makes sense or at least 'sounds' right!

3) Use a Spell-Checker! It's past 2010 now, LEARN to use a spell checker. AND beware for words like 'hear/here,' 'spin/spun/span,' 'they're, their,' 'it's/its,' 'heard/herd,' etc, etc, etc... You'll catch most if you PROOF READ YOUR WORK!

4) Watch your Tenses! Damn it, it's annoying to read stuff in 3 different tenses!!!! I hate stuff like this: "I thought she was going to kiss me. Then he leaned over and instead got a slap to the face." Again PROOF READ YOUR WORK!

5) Grammar PLEASE... Some of you who don't speak English as a native tongue have some excuse for not forming proper sentences or misusing syntax. Others, who are just starting out do too ... BUT should catch it in their PROOF READING! I highly suggest getting a Beta to help you smooth out your work if you're having problems. Hell, it's not the most easy language to write in so get some help if you need it.

6) Learn to write proper dialog! There is, believe it or not, a correct way to write a dialog. It doesn't all go in one paragraph!!!!

This is wrong:

"Joe, you look nice," she said. He opened his eyes and said, "Thanks, so do you." "Do you want to get some coffee?" "Sure."

It belongs like this:

"Joe, you look nice," she said.

He opened his eyes to stare at her, emotions piling up to make his voice heavy, "Thanks, so do you."

With a warm heat rising in her cheeks she asked hesitantly, "Do you want to get some coffee?"

"Sure," he smiled. Somehow feeling that he'd just won some sort of contest.

Do you see the difference? If not, please-please, get a beta reader.

7) Don't write it as 'COMPLETE' if you're not done!!! Even if you're going to have a sequel and that segment is complete then PUT IT IN a note at the beginning for those of us who don't wish to read incomplete works! A story is finished when YOU are finished and it has concluded to a point that you can say, "The End." Otherwise, head your description as "ABANDONED." We the readers will then decide whether to read what you wrote knowing that it isn't going to conclude. This will also make us not hate and flame you.

The following are personal items that I will try NOT to make issues of...

8) I dislike songfics. To be inspired by a song is nice. To write a story around it is annoying.

9) A story should have a foundation. Just assuming that your reader knows what you do is pretty cheesy.

10) Languages... People, some of us don't speak Japanese or whatever, EVEN if the manga/anime/etc does, not all of us know what the crap you're saying when you switch to add phrases or comments in another language. REALLY! Don't you think it seems silly to write "baka," instead of "idiot?" Especially when everything else is in English? I get the idea that baka sounds kind of cute, but I don't think that should be the reason it's being used when obviously it's not the SAME language!

I guess 10 things is enough for you to understand why I might critique your work in a negative way. I'm not even concerned if it's porn (adult themed), poetry, epic, or just a little piece of fluff or humor. But by god if I'm going to read your work, be prepared to get my opinion of it too! Otherwise, DON'T POST IT!

Personal info? Ask.


After having this account for a short-while, and having read dozens of stories, I'm to the conclusion that there are some serious people who want to improve their writing and want honest reviews. The rest are some what "pissed off" at me.

I will apologize now for hurting anyone's feelings. To an extent, I have damped down my reviews and will try and make them more content based than opinion based. If you think I was too harsh without reason, LET ME KNOW! And if I agree with you, I won't call you "stupid head." Laugh people, it was a joke.


POST NOTE: Please, for the love of... I AM NOT A GIRL... I AM NOT YOUNG AND CUTE (See my avatar?!)... Please, do not PM me looking for a date. REALLY!?! What in my writing makes you wackos think I wear dresses and spend my nights looking for Romeo?

It was always you by luvtoshi reviews
The war is long over. They have both grown. Now it's time to conclude their story. Naruto and Sakura.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 63,846 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 878 - Follows: 274 - Updated: 3/6/2011 - Published: 11/16/2010 - Sakura H., Naruto U. - Complete
As yet untitled reviews
Just an idea for a story that I might flush out.
Misc. Books - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 710 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/7/2011
delzog (1)
luvtoshi (9)