Author has written 5 stories for Harry Potter, and Maximum Ride.
Hi! My name is Rachel, and I'm Irish :)
I love Harry Potter,Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Heroes of Olympus,The Fault In Our Stars, Maximum Ride, Skulduggery Pleasant, the Morganville vampires series, Artemis Fowl, the Hunger Games, the Gone series, the Divergent series, The Mortal Instruments and the Infernal Devices, and the list goes on and on!
My dream is to be an author, and I am very lucky to have found this site.
When I have my current series (Don't Think Just Do It) over, I will be doing different fanfictions, from different fandoms. I just think I'd find it very stressful to be doing more than one series at a time, so I'm going to be doing just one at a time.
I'll try and update as fast as I can, but I might be late updating sometimes, and I hope you wont get too mad and start sending me threatining messages...
I'm changing my username, for anyone that might get confused. It was I-am-maximum-ride, but I'm changing it to I am the Girl Who Lived.
Hope you enjoy my stories!
About me; My name is Rachel, I'm 16 and I'm Irish. I have blonde hair, but its getting dark, and blue/grey/green eyes. Im the youngest in the family... I have a 1 year old dog named Bruce, he's a cross between a Collie and terrier, and I love him to bits. I love Paramore, You Me at Six, 30 Seconds To Mars, and other bands like that :) And finally, I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it ;)
I'm also obsessed with the shows Supernatural, Sherlock and Doctor Who (who doesn't love SuperWhoLock?) and I also watch Arrow, Teen Wolf, Hannibal, How I Met Your Mother, Adventure Time etc.
Tumblr URL: padfootwinchester
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
2. Meet the recruitment bunny!
3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!
4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me people: MWAHAHAHAHA cough cough!
5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guy!
6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life
7. Money Money Money: Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?
If you flip out every time Cedric Diggory appears on screen when you're watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire just because of who the actor is and the fact that he is also Edward Cullen, copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.
Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "Where to begin?"
98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you think Bella is out of her mind for saying no to Edward's proposal in New Moon and you want to hit her hard upside the head with a blunt axe, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.
If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your sorry butt.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you"
If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone, copy this into your profile.
95% of the teenage population would be in a crisis if Miley Cyrus, Justin Beiber, the Jonas Brothers, and Selena Gomez were on top of a 5 story building. Copy and paste this into your profile if you're one of the 5% that would be screaming into a bullhorn, "JUMP, BITCHES, JUMP!!!
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, guitarhorselover, teamjacob247, ThatStupidLamb95, Jacob Black. . .Ooft Phitt, DarknessXAnime, Onyx Midnight, Fangrules, ObsessiveReader1223, max artemis potter, I am the Girl Who Lived
u say taylor swift-i say RHCP
u say lady gaga- i say billy talent
u say miley cyrus -i say my chemical romance
u say t-pain -i say three days grace
u say kesha-i say lincon park
u say justin bieber-fuck u
u say flowers-i say nirvana
So You Want To Be A Death Eater: Your Guide To Everything Evil!
Greetings, new follower:
If you are reading this letter then you have doubtless been accepted into the select band of professional wizards known as the Death Eaters. If by some unprecedented chance you are reading this and you have not been accepted into the Death Eaters then I suggest you put down this letter and leave now, or the consequences for you will be as terrible as my lifelong study into the Dark Arts can make them.
Please find enclosed a short introductory guide to Death Eating, which you must memorize and then eat, to prevent security leaks. (Due to an unfortunate fatality last week, it is now permitted to cut the guide into small pieces before swallowing).
The next meeting is scheduled for midnight, 11th June, when I trust we will have the pleasure of watching your initiation ceremony. Please remember to bring a clean handsaw and enough twine. It's so distressing when people don't prepare for these events properly.
Yours in infamy,
So You Want To Be A Death Eater?
Welcome to this helpful guide to being a Death Eater. This leaflet should provide you with all the information you need to become a successful servant to the Dark Lord. It will if you know what's good for you. Please read every page before eating.
List of Equipment required for new Death Eaters:
(Equipment marked must be obtained from Messers. Gorgon & Black Limited, outfitters to the intensely evil and terminally stylish since 12 BC. Their premises are on Knockturn Alley, but they now do mail order as well.)
Long Black Robes (Casual)
Cane (For favored members only. Unauthorized possession of a cane will result in a heavy fine. Before possessing cane, it is necessary to pass a rigorous series of tests to ascertain that your carrying-a-cane-in-a-nonchalant-yet-evil-fashion skills are up to scratch).
Curses and Counter-Curses by Professor Vindictus Viridian
Death Eater may also own snake or dragon or hippogriff. But only Lord Voldemort may possess a basilisk.
Death Eater Rules:
No Death Eater shall be a spy for Dumbledore.
Frequently Asked Questions:
What happens if Voldemort is displeased with me?
As this is a fairly run (and currently short-staffed) organization, you will probably receive a warning. And some soul-destroying torture. A second offense and you will probably die a slow death. Options include:
Being slowly eaten by a manticore.
What should I do if I decide to leave the organization?
Make your funeral arrangements as quickly as possible.
What is the salary like?
You should be in this job for the principle of the thing, not for sordid reasons. So let's just say that it's much, much better than they pay at the Ministry. There will also be opportunities for pillage, looting, theft, etc., and Christmas bonuses are guaranteed.
Does the Dark Mark hurt?
Of course it does; this is an evil society after all. What are you, a wimp?
Can the Dark Mark be removed by laser treatment?
No. Only a moron would ask such a stupid question.
But it can be temporarily obscured by a good-quality concealer. (Make sure it's a shade darker than your skin tone, as a lighter shade will simply draw attention to the tattoo. Pat translucent powder over the concealer to make it last longer.)
Is there a retirement age for Death Eaters?
You probably won't live long enough to have to deal with this problem.
Can I kill personal enemies or just opponents of Voldemort?
Murder is encouraged on principle; however, personal killings should be reserved for each individual Death Eater's free time, as obviously serving Lord Voldemort is much more important. Occasional massacre outings/ dark revels may take place as rewards for good (i.e. bad) behavior.
What should I do if Voldemort is defeated at the height of his powers by a one-year-old boy?
This circumstance is so unlikely that there is no point devising a protocol to deal with it.
The Death Eater Anthem
(To be memorised by each new recruit as soon as possible). Please note that this tune should never, never, never, never be sung to the tune of "Blackadder," an inane Muggle television program to which we are completely oblivious and never watch. Honestly.
Who lurk beneath the undergrowth?
Being a Death Eater is naturally a dangerous job. Lord Voldemort accepts no liability for any pain/suffering/torture/impalement/loss of limbs/grievous bodily harm/disintegration/insanity/imprisonment/loss of soul/death which you may experience while in his service. No good will come of any attempts to sue him as a negligent employer. Trust us.
However, in order to protect members, these safety guidelines have been developed for Death Eaters both during leisure time and on missions for the Dark Lord:
Don't try to take out Harry Potter yourself. It is extremely presumptuous. Leave it to Lord Voldemort, who has much more practice.
Employ masterly deceit to conceal your allegiance to the Dark Lord: e.g., if someone accuses you of being a Death Eater, laugh carelessly and say: "No, I am not a Death Eater. Would you like a cup of tea?" This Machiavellian trickery should be enough to convince them.
If this does not convince your accuser, have them discreetly murdered. (Sussex and Fox Ltd, of 13, Knockturn Alley, run a very efficient assassination service and are currently offering cut-price deals for friends and associates of the Dark Lord. Present your membership card at the counter for further details.)
Keep your wand on you at all times, even if you are asleep/on a hot date/in the bath/on the beach/wearing very tight-fitting leather garments (or all of these at once).
Ostentatious indicators of evil, such as manic laughter/dressing entirely in black swooshy robes (Snape, this means you)/ making sinister comments/killing people should be practiced only in private.
If you suspect someone of being a spy, kill them and their family at the first opportunity. If it turns out they were not a spy at all, pass it off as a light-hearted practical joke.
Only eat food prepared by yourself or your faithful minions. Do not trust your spouse(s)/partner(s), no matter how pretty he/she/they may be.
Similarly, do not accept drinks from anyone. This may cause offense when visiting a pub or bar but it's better than being dead. Obviously.
Do not take off your mask for any reason while on a mission. If people see your face while you are conjuring the Dark Mark/ massacring etc, they may suspect that you are a Death Eater.
Do not try to smoke while wearing your mask, as it is not fireproof.
Never address your colleagues by name while on a mission. Survivors may recall it at a later date. For the same reason, never mention your address or telephone number to anyone you are kidnapping/raping/torturing/killing, no matter how attractive they may be. Evil relationship experts have stated that romance is unlikely to flourish under such circumstances anyway.
Burn all sensitive documents. Not only will this deter spies, it is also amusing as it contributes to global warming.
Set up an anti-Apparating spell round your residence (but make sure you have a Portkey handy so you're not embarrassingly trapped there if the place is attacked by Aurors).
Prepare a secret hideout for yourself should your cover be blown. Failure to do this may lead to your sharing a hideout with another Death Eating family, which often results in friction over use of bathroom facilities, television, etc.
Don't upset Lord Voldemort. It will only end in tears. (And multiple burns, fractured limbs, mortal torment, etc.)
Anyway, Copy and Paste anything you want.
There are times when we're dirt broke, hungry, and freezing and I ask myself, why the hell am I still living here? - Mark Cohen, Rent
Epic people go up to random people and poke them, while saying 'Pokachu!' and then proceed to run off laughing maniaclly. -Me
OH MY POPCORN CHERRY DOGS, ITS A FLIPPING NERTZ! -Me
Oh My Strawberry Cheesecake McMuffins! -Me
77 Ways to Annoy Your Teachers
#1: When the PA comes on, scream "I HEAR THE VOICES!" and run around the class room.
#2: Bring a cheesy top hat to school. When the teacher tells you to "put on your thinking cap", put it on and claim that it is your thinking cap.
#3: If the teacher stops lecturing, clap your hands and chant "Don't stop! Don't stop!"
#4: Perform the classic "pin on the teacher's chair" prank
#5: Randomly shout out "Will you be my FRIEND?" (much like Klemper!)
#6: When your reading teacher asks if you read the assignment, casually say "I saw the movie."
#7: When you are caught doing something bad, such as talking, blame it on your imaginary friend
#8: Make a really big deal out of random things
#9: Make a huge show out of going up to the board to do a problem
#10: When talking about different cities/states/countries in Social Studies, claim "I went there!" for each one
#11: Whisper loudly for no apparent reason
#12: If a teacher mentions anything having to do with a song you know, stand up and belt out that song
#13: Bring a really strong and/or disgusting perfume/body spray and permeate the air inside of the classroom
#14: If a teacher asks you a question, smile slyly and say "It's a secret," mysteriously
#15: Drop your books on the floor periodically
#16: Hack into the PA system so that every time it comes on, it plays "Barbie Girl", the "Barney" theme song, or the "GhostBusters" theme song
#17: If a teacher asks you a question, snap at them and say "Hey! I ask the questions here, not you, buster!"
#18: Draw smiley faces everywhere
#19: Stay in the bathroom for a really long time
#20: Sing the school song at random times
#21: Go crazy with whoopee cushions
#22: Whenever there is lightning/thunder, scream like a girl and dive under your desk
#23: Randomly turn to the empty desk next to you and pretend to hold it hostage
#24: Talk in an annoying accent all day
#25: Run down the halls screaming "IT'S COMING!" When asked what, scream and get in their face "Don't you know? IT'S COMING!"
#26: Host a jocks versus nerds food fight
#27: Bring a stuffed animal to school. Act like it's a live thing all day.
#28: Talk like a combination of Mr. Lancer and Technus the whole day (oh the horror…)
#29: Randomly scream "OH MY GOSH! It's HANNAH MONTANA!"
#30: Hack into the computer system
#31: Bring your cell phone to class and set it for a really annoying ringtone. When it begins to ring, let it play until it's all done, then say "Oh, was that MY phone?"
#32: On a completely random day, throw a surprise birthday party for your teacher
#33: Criticize your teacher's favorite sports team
#34: Fill in your verbal answers with lots of "fillers" (that is, "ers", "ums", "uhs", etc.)
#35: On a test/worksheet, put down "I don't know" for every question, even if it's multiple choice
#36: In computer class, randomly scream "IT'S NOT WORKING!" When encountered, say "Are you BLIND? IT'S NOT WORKING!"
#37: When talking about the weather, fake a forecast in a deep weatherman voice (or act like Lance Thunder)
#38: Pose or freak out at the security cameras
#39: Repeatedly ask teachers for their autographs
#40: In the middle of a lecture, shout "HEY! I'm doing something over here you know! Jeez, some people are RUDE!"
#41: Stand outside of the classroom and act like a security guard. Ask people trying to get in for an ID
#42: During a tornado drill, grab the fire extinguisher and spray it all around
#43: Pull the fire alarm
#44: Come to school in your pajamas. When a teacher asks you about it, have a meltdown
#45: Go into the bathroom. When a teacher goes in, scream "THERE'S NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
#46: "Graffiti" all over the whiteboard/chalkboard
#47: When there is a substitute, say "No, no, no, you're supposed to do it THIS way," to everything they say or do
#48: Come to school dressed as a superhero, Dora the Explorer, or Boots the monkey.
#49: If the teacher is late, help out by "taking over"
#50: If you disagree about something, start a huge rebellion
#51: In band, when the teacher tells you to stop, keep playing. When he/she finally gets your attention, say "That meant to stop? I wondered why everyone else stopped playing suddenly!"
#52: Advertise a "trash the teacher's lounge" event secretly
#53: When a teacher comes down the hallway, scream and jump into your locker
#54: Talk in rhyme all day. When asked about it, blame the GhostWriter (in rhyme, of course!)
#55: Write/say all of your answers in code/another language that your teacher doesn't know
#56: Change all of the clocks
#57: Place alarm clocks in random parts of the room and set them off so that they go off every five minutes
#58: When given an assignment, break down and cry "I CAN'T DO THIS!"
#59: Wear a bag over your head
#60: Do something annoying during a test
#61: In gym, when the teacher announces you'll be wrestling/boxing, stand up and proclaim "Violence is NOT the answer!"
#62: Take a sleeping pill so that you sleep during class
#63: If a ghost comes into the class, throw the Fenton Thermos at the teacher's head and smile innocently
#64: Spill balls all over the floor
#65: Shout out random things
#66: When given an 'F', say that you failed fashionably
#67: Wear slippers to school. When encountered, say "SHH! I'm spying!" in a loud whisper
#68: Dump sticky stuff EVERYWHERE
#69: In gym class, if hit even the slightest bit, act melodramatic. When encountered by the teacher, say "I see the light" dramatically
#70: Flip everything upside down
#71: Poke teachers in the stomach repeatedly. When encountered, say "I'm seeing I you're a robot, cause you drone a lot!"
#72: Give play-by-play commentary on everything
#73: Chew gum in class and make a big deal out of it
#74: When a teacher mentions something about you or your name, yell "STOP MOCKING ME!"
#75: Keep asking for Band-Aids. When asked about it, say "I'm making a modern art masterpiece! Why must everybody criticize me?"
#76: When answering a question orally, blather on and on
And for the Grand Finale…
#77: Get all of the kids to do a "High School Musical" thing all day
"I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me."
"Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?"
"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."
"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!"
"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Why were you lurking under our window?"
What my mother taught me:
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
MAXIMUM RIDE FAN QUESTIONS:
1. Do you think Iggy is hot?
2. Did you cry when Ari died?
3. Do you think Fang is hot?
4. How do you pronounce Ari's name?
5. Do you laugh every time you read the name Mr. Chu?
Yes. Then i proceed to say it in an evil way. I fail.
6. -SPOILER ALERT- In MAX, did you laugh hysterically when Total started talking about marriage?
7. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you squeal at all the faxness in MAX?
8. Did you angrily throw your book across the room when the flock split up?
Yes. Unfortunately, my sister's head was across the room. oops.
9. Who is your favorite character?
Nudge and Iggy. No. Not together. Individuals.
10. Do you like Jeb?
No. I hate fortunate cookies, unless their really sweet. Is Jeb sweet?
11. -SPOILER ALERT- Were you making a genuine "WTF" face when Max and Fang grew gills?
I was like, 'WTH?' and i threw it across the room. (again.)
12. Did you think MAX was better than TFW?
First three books are the best. TFW and MAX suck.
13. -SPOILER ALERT- Did you get slightly fed up with Nudge and Angel's slight attitudes in MAX?
Angel is a creepy, little seven year old that needs to be checked into a mental hospital. Angel influenced Nudge. Nudge is Epic.
14. Which book is your all time favorite?
The First Three. It's a tie.
15. If the flock had a theme song, what would it be?
-_- Do i look that obsessed with Maximum Ride? (:
16. Have you ever imagined the flock as a band playing whatever song comes up when listening to your iPod?
No. That would be kinda, sorta awkward. I mean, can you imagine Max singing, 'Love Story' By Taylor Swift?
17. Who do you think the voice should be?
An Epic Chinese Unicorn. Their queer and wise.
18. Do you think one or more members of the flock should learn to play an instrument?
Max? I can't imagine. Fang? WTF? Iggy? Maybe. Nudge? She could be a Singer. Gazzy? Gazzy would be an awesome Drummer and singer. (I want Gazzy's Mimick power!) Angel? WTF ARE YOU THINKING?
19. What bugged you the most about TFW?
20. MIGGY or FAX?
A wise Person once told me, 'No noodle gets left behind.' Fax all the way baby!
Draco Malfoy's epic letter in A Very Potter Sequel!!!: Dear Papa,
PS :Tell mama to bugger off!
Harry Potter in 99 seconds lyrics! (look it up on youtube!)
There once was a boy named Harry
Who was destined to be a star
Yo harry, you're a wizard
(Chamber of secrets)
(Prisoner Of Azkaban)
(Goblet Of Fire)
(Order of the phoenix)
Don't think, just do it pictures:
(Sorry but it won't let me set up a proper link, so if you want to see the pictures properly, you need to copy and link the web address and put it into Google images. Sorry o.O)
Max's owl, Freedom;
Fang's owl, Stygian;
Iggys owl, Grenade;
Yule Ball dresses/ hair. These aren't the exact same as I imaged them, but there pretty damn close :)