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Joined 02-07-11, id: 2739639, Profile Updated: 11-20-11
Author has written 9 stories for Story of Tracy Beaker, Taggart, and Ghost Whisperer.

Hey, Hey!

So I got bored and decided that now was a good a time as any to do this. Anyway to start off, my pen name is supposed to be misspelled so I'd appreciate it if you didn't point it out XD.

Apparently pengins are like penguins in almost every way except they secretly have the ability to fly, and they, along with cheesecake, precipitate the end of the world. Long story short; it's one of those stories that you don't understand unless you were there. Saying that, I was there and I still don't quite understand it, :-/, ah well.

I currently live in a small town in Scotland about 22 miles outside of Glasgow that fails at life. I'm not exaggerating in any way when I say it's a shithole. I always feel sorry for the people who come off a cruise after paying x amount of money to go somewhere nice just to end up in Inverclyde with people like me, it must suck. ;p

I'm pro-choice, pro-equal rights (well done New York!), and I love eating meat too much to become a vegetarian any time soon. I know/knew too many people who's lives have been ruined by both drugs and carrying a knife to be in favour of either.

It's slice not square, both Rangers and Celtic suck equally and I'm not religious in the slightest. I would happily stalk Jensen Ackles if I had the funding (and a car or any form of transport really) and I hate it when you pick up a drink only to realise that you've already drank it. I loathe fake people, mainly fake girls, so much that I want to punch them in the face with a sharp stick, and despite having an interest in politics I can't seem to watch a political programme, or even the news, without getting pissed off at something in it and shouting at the TV.

I don't have anger issues at all. [/sarcasm]

- Scotland; the best team ever at grabbing defeat from the hands of victory -

Some stuff I like:


In no particular order; 1984, The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Brave New World, Something Wicked This Way Comes, The Culture Novels, Fahrenheit 451, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Eye in the Sky, The Minority Report, The Discworld series, The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy, American Gods, Good Omens, Emma, The Dresden Files, Goosebumps (those books were legendary), Tamora Pierce's books (both Circle and Tortall Universes though I prefer Circle series) and The Princess Bride.

As well as countless others I've either forgotten or can't be bothered writing down. I've never really noticed how much fantasy/Sci-Fi I read before I done this.


I like a lot of different kinds of music - too many to list here - but according to my iPod, the artists I listen to most are; Rihanna, Adele, Eva Cassidy, Paramore, the Wicked and Phantom of the Opera soundtracks, Midnight Hour, Train, Vienna Teng, The Fray, Queen, Professor Green, The Cab, Bon Jovi, The Who, Usher, The Script, Wiz Khalifa, Starboy Nathan, Greenday, Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5, We Were Promised Jetpacks, Calvin Harris, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, David Guetta, Jennifer Lopez, Lifehouse, Pink, One Direction, Pitbull, Boyce Avenue, The Clash, Elbow, Bruno Mars and recently Tyler Ward - just cause he's awesome and puts on a good show XD.

TV Shows

Other than the first two - which I love - there is again no order; Supernatural, Gary: Tank Commander, Mrs Brown's Boys, Ghost Whisperer, Lost, House, Glee, Death Note, The Mentalist, Numb3rs, Bones, Lie to Me, So Weird (does anyone else remember that from the Disney Channel?), The Inbetweeners, Doctor Who?, Pokemon, Big Bang Theory, Outnumbered, Are You Afraid of the Dark? (loved it!), Mock the Week and Deadly 60.


Any and all Horror films. Even if they're terrible, you'll get a good laugh at the awfulness if nothing else.

I also like; Labyrinth, The Devil's Backbone, Pan's Labyrinth, The Way She Moves, Dirty Dancing (1+2), Monty Python & the Holy Grail, Drop Dead Fred (the remake better be good), Matilda, National Treasure (1+2), A Walk in the Clouds, Pirates of the Caribbean, A Little Princess, Zoolander, Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, Spirited Away, Howl's Moving Castle, Ponyo, Shaun of the Dead, most Disney movies, Dodgeball and a few others.


Russell Howard, Dylan Moran, my friends sister, Ed Byrne, Milton Jones, Billy Connolly, Jamie Kilstein (kinda), Michael McIntyre, Bill Hicks, Tim Minchin, Brendan O'Carroll and a few obvious others that I'm sure I'm missing.

I've saw this on a couple of profiles now and I like the general idea of it:

Review Pledge

I promise to review every fanfic I read whether it be fantastic, useless or anywhere in between. I make this pledge because I know how frustrating it is for an author to have hundreds, or thousands, of hits and only have a handful of reviews.

Copy and paste this into your profile if you promise to do the same, or like me, at least try to.


I'm getting kinda sick of writing one for every story so just assume I don't own anything, it'll save us all time and energy.

And on that note, please feel free to review/critique/award cake/catch the pigeons/give general feedback on any of my stories or to PM me about anything.

So, I suppose that's it. You have officially wasted time in your life reading this that you'll never get back. Meh, sucks to be you.

Peace Out. :D

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Xylophone of Gondor by QueenSword reviews
Meet Elizabeth, who believes that a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle. "How many Stewards does it take to change a light bulb? None. Gondor has no light bulbs. Gondor needs no light bulbs" Eventually Boromir/OC
Lord of the Rings - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 52,456 - Reviews: 329 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 107 - Updated: 2/4/2012 - Published: 6/21/2011 - Boromir - Complete
The Summer Project by FreekyDisaster18 reviews
Robbie is Jamie's summer project. The mission: to feel better as a person. Can he accomplish all fifty tasks?
Taggart - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 27 - Words: 23,806 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 1/28/2012 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Robbie R., Jackie R.
Coming Home for Christmas by FreekyDisaster18 reviews
It's been two years since Stuart disappeared from Glasgow and now he's afraid to come home. Secret Santa.
Taggart - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Stuart F. - Complete
Not Family by OneDayLikeThis reviews
What was the real reason Liam was annoyed with the others when Elektra first arrived?
Story of Tracy Beaker - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 29,439 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/26/2011 - Published: 2/8/2011 - Complete
Never Leave Fanfiction Lying Around by crazyroninchic reviews
Several members of the Fellowship come across a Marysue Legomance. Chaos ensues…A bit of light humor and MS satire. If for nothing else, read to imagine the looks on Leggie’s face…COMPLETED
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 49,741 - Reviews: 2205 - Favs: 860 - Follows: 160 - Updated: 8/3/2005 - Published: 1/22/2005 - Complete
The Game of the Gods by Limyaael reviews
COMPLETE Morgoth and Varda are playing a little game. Morgoth's weapon: Mary Sues. Varda's weapon: Reality. Rated for violence and Vala OOCness.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 73,692 - Reviews: 824 - Favs: 857 - Follows: 93 - Updated: 11/25/2003 - Published: 9/13/2003 - Complete
The Official Fanfiction University of Middleearth by misscam reviews
The fic that spawned miniBalrogs, Elrond's Naturally Nine, the MorgothSauron feud, Urple, the WitchWall and finally, Gimli got the girl.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 64 - Words: 66,366 - Reviews: 3162 - Favs: 1,950 - Follows: 205 - Updated: 7/12/2002 - Published: 3/8/2002 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Everyone loves a Bit of Smirnoff Ice reviews
My late secret santa attempt. Robbie and Stuart go to the pub to wind down, but of course, things don't quite go as planned.
Taggart - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,880 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/1/2012 - Stuart F., Robbie R. - Complete
With You Under the Mistletoe reviews
My short entry for the December prompt even though I'm technically supposed to be focussing on my secret santa entry, but yeah. Robbie/Jackie x-mas orientated fun.
Taggart - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 443 - Reviews: 2 - Published: 12/29/2011 - Robbie R., Jackie R. - Complete
Sometimes A Girl Needs To Run reviews
Anna had always been told that running away is never the answer, but as it might just prove to be the only option she can take to get a chance of happiness she soon dismisses the risks and embarks on a journey that will either make or break her.
Story of Tracy Beaker - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,680 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 12/6/2011 - Published: 5/31/2011
Live and Let Live reviews
AU. A new ghost causes Melinda problems as she tries to regain control of her life with the help of a old friend.
Ghost Whisperer - Rated: T - English - Supernatural/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,457 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/4/2011 - Published: 11/18/2011 - Melinda, Rick Payne
Longer than a Scottish Summer reviews
A routine interview takes a turn for the worst for our favourite detectives as they struggle to deal with an unseen outcome. An entry for the August prompts.
Taggart - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Crime - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,352 - Reviews: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/4/2011 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Jackie R., Robbie R. - Complete
A Past Best Left Unremembered reviews
A random one-shot about Harry's past. Mainly how he ended up in care and got Jeff.
Story of Tracy Beaker - Rated: T - English - Crime/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,878 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Published: 8/26/2011 - Complete
We Sit In The Mud And Reach For The Stars reviews
Jackie loses a shoe and Robbie's there to lend a hand. A completely random and plot-less entry for the MUD prompt, I gave it an original title and everything.
Taggart - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,743 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/31/2011 - Jackie R., Robbie R. - Complete
Lipstick reviews
Robbie ditches his paperwork and drags Jackie off to the pub. An unimaginatively titled one-shot for the lipstick challenge.
Taggart - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,618 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/23/2011 - Robbie R., Jackie R. - Complete
Old Friends Are Best reviews
An unexpected visitor causes tension in the DG.
Story of Tracy Beaker - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 17,460 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/31/2011 - Published: 4/12/2011 - Complete