Maggot Magnet
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Joined 02-11-11, id: 2745720, Profile Updated: 04-15-14
Author has written 14 stories for Team Fortress 2.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I write a big-heck-of-a-lot better than I used to.
So don't come here expecting the old Maggot Magnet, because you get the new-and-improved Maggot Magnet!
Aw yuss.


Maggot is the name. Team Fortress is the game. teheeehee

FAQ: What's the deal with your name?
I saw a shittily-made Gmod of Soldier saying 'I am Maggot Magnet' and then getting covered in actual maggots.
I felt like it was catchy enough to remember and stoopid enough to apply to me.

FAQ: What's your avatar supposed to be?
Fred, the guy who screams "MY LEG" on Spongebob. c:

FAQ: Where else can I find you?
My username is also my Steam.
I play TF2 like a maniac again now that my internet's fixed!

Additionally I do have a Tumblr that I use quite often.

Lastly and certainly not least-ly, here's something that I actually use:
MY YOUTUBE!
I make comedy SFM shorts, and one of them won an honorable mention for the 2013 Saxxies! Yay.

FAQ: *whispers sexually* Have any ships there, darling?
Honestly, I don't know if they count, since I'm very picky about them.
(Also, I like my smut funny, for some reason. Funny smut makes me more hot-and-bothered than romantic smut. I'm weird, I suppose.)

Medic and Heavy...if and only if they stay manly and experimental. ;)
Sniper and Spy...if and only if they employ dissociation while doin' it.

I also am okay with most other ships, though I will probably never try my hand at writing that.

FAQ: I'm free next Sunday. Wanna go get tacos?
JAWOHL

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Snow and Ice by Herr Doktor reviews
A plane crash, followed by rescue, followed by a twitchy annoying boy and a creepy German fellow. What else?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 9,108 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 23h ago - Published: 3/30
Team Fortress 2: Defending the Day by SubtleDissonance reviews
The Team must save the day from the forces of evil like Snipers.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,366 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/5 - Published: 10/11/2013 - Pyro, Scout, Sniper, Soldier
A Duet Without a Duo Pt 1 by Rainy Daze Writer reviews
"Spy could scarcely believe it. He had finally discovered Medic's secret. He spent most evenings strolling around the base while cloaked and listening to people's conversations. He had heard many a secret from the rest of the team, but he had yet to hear anything about the elusive doctor that was not freely told." BLU Spy/BLU Medic. [Maybe rated M later]
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,886 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/28 - [Medic, Spy] Heavy
Where It All Began by corndogstories reviews
The Reliable Excavation Demolition Team, hired by Redmond Mann, are officially employed and ready for action. But first, the mercenaries have to overcome the obstacle that comes with being on a team - each other. Sorry all you shippers out there; no pairings in this.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 1,962 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 3/9 - Published: 2/20
Tales of Teufort by MissMarvelous13 reviews
A series of oneshots about the life of the RED team during their downtime.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,191 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/15
Shpo Ugh's adventure by cjimmy99 reviews
Shpo Ugh goes on a brief but exciting adventure.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 201 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/9 - Heavy, Scout, Spy - Complete
The Last Fruitrollup: A TF2 Epic by Critt Bombney 2012 reviews
Scout is growing young man. He is a boy of hunger. For weeks he has yearned for first dibs on the pantry. Now is his chance.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,816 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/27/2013 - Published: 11/26/2012 - Scout
Team Therapy by Lalicurr reviews
As part of some law, outside of battle the Announcer has to have the team do therapy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,281 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 11/5/2013 - Published: 8/31/2013
Power Down by Lalicurr reviews
Scout's ad for a new drink.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 218 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/5/2013 - Scout, Medic, Sniper
Scout and Spy in Prison by Lalicurr reviews
In the new comic we see that Scout and Spy are in prison. But what exactly did they do?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 278 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Published: 8/28/2013 - Scout, Spy, Soldier
Health Inspection by CrazyCartoonChick236 reviews
When Miss Pauling tells Medic that he has to give everyone a Health Inspection, Medic takes away everyone's beer and cigarettes! Now Heavy has to seduce him in order to get them back.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,455 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/15/2013 - Engineer, Heavy, Medic, Scout - Complete
Mama Solly by Pwnie reviews
The american mercenary faces an unlikely scenario involving his own body.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 16 - Words: 11,118 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 6/30/2013 - Published: 1/31/2013 - Soldier, The Administrator - Complete
Personality Flip by ThisStatementIsFalse reviews
Merasmus did something wrong hereā€¦ the RED mercs all have inverted personalities! Stuff goes down! Spinoff in the Misadventures of the RED Team series
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,320 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/26/2013 - Published: 6/16/2013 - Complete
Medic Goes Crazy by Lalicurr reviews
No, this isn't a mad scientist fic. This is Medic, in old age, losing his marbles.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 949 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/30/2013 - Medic - Complete
Oil and Soda by ashford2ashford reviews
Collaboration Work between myself and Sakanoue. RED Scout and RED Engineer enjoy a night in. Warning: Sexxins ahead.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,275 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/18/2013 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Engineer, Scout - Complete
Scout Needs To Get a Job by nooneokay reviews
He throws a temper tantrum.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 841 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Scout - Complete
The Closest Thing to a HeavyMedic Fic You'll Get From Me by Lalicurr reviews
You read it.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 3 - Published: 4/3/2013 - Heavy, Medic - Complete
1 Sniper 1 Jarate by nooneokay reviews
Sniper has some fun with his jar.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 556 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/24/2013 - Sniper - Complete
Pyro, Where Are You! by nooneokay reviews
Pyro and the gang, traveling by Sniper's groovy camper, solve the mystery of Merasmus in some mountain villa (no, not really).
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,016 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/21/2013 - Merasmus - Complete
Harm and Harmony by BlizzardWatch reviews
When Scout lies to his Ma, the BLU team is left in a desperate scramble to put together a concert of folk music. Out of their depth, out of patience, and out of coffee, it will take everything they've got to switch from inflicting harm to singing in harmony in time for the show.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 10 - Words: 19,248 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 1/10/2013
Fraternizing with the Enemy by Dr. Q. Uirk reviews
What happens when a dedicated American Soldier and patriot crosses paths with a mentally unbalanced German Medic in 1968? Something very bad for the well-being of the general public; that's what. Previously: Friend Like Me
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 25,213 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 2/23/2013 - Published: 6/19/2012 - Soldier, Medic
A Dove's Demise by Jinny the Kisaragi reviews
Medic makes a devastating discovery after what seemed like a normal day on the battlefield. One shot, not related to Adventures with BLU so don't get too worried. ARCHIMEDES X HYPPOLITA OTP SUPPORTERS PREPARE TO HATE ME.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,571 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Published: 11/20/2012 - Medic - Complete
Off Duty by NaruYasha352 reviews
Red Sniper and Blu Spy work out some post-battle tension after ceasefire.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,422 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2012 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
A Series of Tragedies by NaruYasha352 reviews
They will make you cry every time.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,097 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/19/2012 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
Misadventures Of The RED Team by ThisStatementIsFalse reviews
The REDs were idiots and lost their base to the BLU team. Now, they're still idiots, but they want their base back.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 50 - Words: 18,522 - Reviews: 120 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/12/2012 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Complete
The Hideous and Disgusting Mary-Sue Queen of the RED Team by Duyouk reviews
Capella Annabelle Sugarprincess Emo Twilight Bella Swan Jessabella Nicole Abused-by-parents-as-a-child Granger is the RED Soldier's adopted Mary-Sue daughter. She's beautiful, misunderstood and unique, three qualities of most other Mary-Sues. How will the RED team handle her when she makes a surprise visit? Warning: If you are "Scene/Emo", you will probably be offended. Sorry. :/
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 917 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/5/2012
A Soldier's Best Friend by gsppcrocks10 reviews
When Soldier goes to visit town after a long week of Dustbowl, he runs into an unexpected companion. Glorious misadventures ensue.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,464 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 9/19/2012 - Published: 9/14/2012 - Soldier
Take it like a Moose by Beckerifical reviews
A short piece; Spy, Engie, and Heavy chatting after a battle. Plus moose facts.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 692 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/12/2012 - Spy - Complete
Potshot by Balloon Animal reviews
A short story about Medic's strange surgical instruments. Scout thinks some people should just stick with stamp collecting.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 989 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/4/2012 - Medic, Scout - Complete
Crossdressing Fortress by Balloon Animal reviews
Soldier trials a new method to whip his men into shape. Will lace panties and satin skirts really unleash the warrior within? Read and find out.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 15,638 - Reviews: 56 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 6/25/2012 - Published: 7/31/2011
Meet the Fandom by Faux Promises reviews
The cast isn't complete without the fans. Right? ...Right?
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,085 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/20/2012 - Complete
Easyopen by InuZelda reviews
Scout has found his worst enemy: the easy open tetra brik! PD: Now also in spanish!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,849 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 6/12/2012 - Scout - Complete
Trouble by MarshMarigold88 reviews
Scout gets into trouble. Crackfic as in hell to the yeah.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 329 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 6/2/2012 - Scout - Complete
Mother's Day by darkwhitewolf reviews
Sniper has a difficult phone call to make...some Sniper/Spy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 914 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 14 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Sniper, Spy
When the Medic Isn't Doing His Job by Medikit reviews
RED Medic gets sick and needs some comfort. Well, the team doesn't feel epathetic. So they call his wife. Shenanigans ensue. Be sure to drop a review, it helps improve the story with your feedback!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,495 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 4/12/2012 - Medic
Sniper Adventures by Dogs Bower reviews
Sniper has an adventure.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 286 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/19/2012 - Sniper - Complete
Bartering with Bushmen by PancakeSandvich reviews
BLU Sniper enjoys a little alone time with RED Spy. Oneshot, bloodplay. Possible followup later if Roommate demands.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,621 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/12/2012 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
Hidden by darkwhitewolf reviews
Oh woops I accidentally smut...A bit hurried, for a friend, figured I should upload it. My very first published dicks! Also the Administrator is kind of in this story.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,036 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 6 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Sniper, Spy
Borderline by Roxal reviews
Why Heavy follows Medic's every whim. Warnings: Sex. DomSub. Status: One-shot. MedicHeavy
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,342 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 36 - Published: 9/11/2011 - Medic, Heavy - Complete
Dear Diary by alexgmich reviews
PWP. As told by Scout.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,480 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 37 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Medic, Heavy
Memories by Hiyume reviews
Autobalance is a strange thing... they'd always feared it would screw up. But not like this. SniperxScout. Rated mostly for language. -Complete-
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 2 - Words: 8,020 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 103 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 3/5/2011 - Published: 2/23/2011 - Sniper, Scout - Complete
Sunday Service by alexgmich reviews
PWP. Something I thought up while, well, in church. Might offend some hardcore Christians, just putting it out there.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/15/2011 - Sniper, Spy - Complete
If You Give a Solider a Betty Crocker Recipe by The Crazed Artist reviews
There is a reason why Engineer never allows Soldier into the kitchen anymore... Warning: Contains some minor cursing, a bit violence, and the destruction of cookware.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 771 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/30/2010 - Engineer, Soldier
ENGI AND THE MEDIC AND THE AUSPENSER by turntechGodhead reviews
oh no! there is alot of strife here! engi has problems w/ a certain depenser! shock there are 100000000000 twists plz read rate plzzz!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 487 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Engineer, Medic - Complete
I LUV U HEAVYKUN! heavyxmedic by XxXHinataDockingXxX reviews
in m,y fic, heavy and medic fall in love and have smex! rated M for sexy!
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 808 - Reviews: 65 - Favs: 15 - Published: 1/5/2010 - Medic - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ten Cents reviews
Medic and Heavy have no money, no gas, and no way to escape the gas station. Time to take drastic measures.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,297 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 2/25 - Heavy, Medic - Complete
A Story About Bookstores reviews
After accidentally allowing Scout to accompany him to the bookstore, Engineer is forced to cope with the annoying bastard for a day.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 8 - Words: 15,046 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/25/2012 - Published: 11/4/2012 - Scout, Engineer - Complete
Every Engineer's Gameplay Strategy reviews
This is a long limerick, but its meaning wounds me to the quick: it's about Engineers that cannot build good gears, and that is the point of this fic.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 592 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2012 - Engineer - Complete
Soldier Tells Us His Methods of Seduction reviews
After buying a typewriter, Soldier writes us a tried-and-true tutorial on how to get the merc you want.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 877 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2012 - Soldier - Complete
How Blackmailing is Performed in France reviews
THEY SCREW AT THE END
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,854 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2012 - Sniper, Spy
Sherlock Scout the Defective Detective reviews
RED finds out Sniper's biggest secret, all thanks to a media-influenced young Bostonian and his muffly arsonist buddy.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 18,505 - Reviews: 64 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 18 - Updated: 9/22/2012 - Published: 8/28/2012 - Scout, Pyro
Scout Gets a Shave reviews
Scout, who has no facial hair whatsoever, had a new goal in life that morning; to be a man. He also faces instant karma.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,391 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/26/2012 - Scout - Complete
Engineer's Peanut Allergy reviews
Engineer gets a care package. /Brought to you by the makers of Lestoil./
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,616 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/18/2012 - Engineer, Soldier
Diners reviews
Sniper and Scout are due to drive a bit out west for some more ammo, but Scout gets hungry on the way.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,086 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 7/15/2012 - Sniper, Scout
Water Boiler reviews
Scout breaks the water boiler, thus sending a metaphorical bottomless void into the daily lives of the REDs we all know and love. Fit.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,202 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/11/2012 - Published: 7/2/2012 - Scout
Scout Finds a Butterfly reviews
This is a wonderous oneshot about how Scout met his insect pal, Jimbob.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,120 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/7/2012 - Scout
Scout Wonders What the Hell Sex Is reviews
Seriously, what the hell IS that? I'm serious. Seriously. Wheeze wheeze.
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,793 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/6/2012 - Scout
TF2 GOES TO DISNEY WORLD reviews
Scout the retarded douchebag finally gets a freakin' idea and the team actually does it even though they all hate him
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,543 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Scout
Scout Decides to Grow Balls reviews
This took years to perfect, you're all jealous
Team Fortress 2 - Rated: T - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,460 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/12/2012 - Scout