I got roused out of sleep early this morning with the sound of the rain, and like the days that have passed by since, my thoughts wandered back to a review I received awhile ago for Whims and Fancies, which you will now notice is gone, along with everything else.
Following is not the review in its entirety, but rather just an excerpt, and what really has been lingering in the back of my mind, what stuck with me the most:
"Also one thing I was wondering lately is...not just for your own story but for many others that center solely on Kagome in the Naruto world. What makes this Kagome...our Higurashi Kagome from the InuYasha series? Is the characterization her, or just a light general characterization that could fit any typical female? Is this truly Higurashi Kagome we are reading, or is it just a character who has the looks/slight demeanor of Higurashi Kagome that we can imagine as being OUR anime/manga representation in the Uchiha family (going by your drabble series)?
"What makes my Kagome the Higurashi Kagome from InuYasha? Is this Kagome of mine just a way for me to get more attention/feedback for my story because everyone loves her or wants to be her, or am I really using her as a character because I want to directly transport Higurashi Kagome into my story as she is? Is she acting as though she is herself? Are there any other InuYasha characters around? Is Kagome just a doll I can utilize for more popularity in my work?"
Naturally, I hesitated over the delete button, and I felt terrible when I finally plucked up the courage to erase the stories; there are people out there who reviewed every chapter, who honestly seemed to enjoy them, but I just couldn't write them anymore. It's not Kagome Higurashi, the character from Inuyasha who I love.
The intentions were there of course; to try and write her character as well as I could, and I'm sure there are people out there who did a worse job than me, but without a concrete plot to back it all up, it really is just a wasted character with her name and face, and in the end, a bit of a insult to the wonderful character that Rumiko Takahashi created.
I am a writer, but not a story-teller; I knew this all along. And believe me, there is a difference. That is why I deleted my stories.
Aye Kaze Nii (I believe that was the name - I can't remember it now that it's gone), whoever you are, I was waiting for your review to come, and I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I hope you don't mistake my intentions here. I'm not mad at you or want you to feel bad, not that I know if you would because you're a stranger and don't owe me any guilt, but I want to thank you for making me come to terms with what was already inside of me. I feel a lot better.
And to everyone else, I'm sorry if I've disappointed you. This isn't an indefinite leave from writing fanfiction, but out of respect for the characters, my next ventures will be better.
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