KellyKonrad
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Joined 02-20-11, id: 2757968, Profile Updated: 05-15-11

Hi, welcome to my page. I enjoying reading fanfiction. A lot and that's why I'm here. Writing is my passion which I love to do both on paper and on the internet.

I absolutely love Robert Pattinson and Demi Lovato, they're my two favourite celebs.

If you have any questions, PM me and I'll answer you as best as I can.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/kellykonrad


Smart-ass Comebacks to those Corny Pick-up Lines:

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually, I'd rather have the money.
HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours.
HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice.
HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share.
HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.
HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
SHE: Okay, get out.
HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.
HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why? Don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go see a movie?
SHE: I've already seen it.
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.
HE: Haven't I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That's why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.
HE: Your body is like a temple.
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.
HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
SHE: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Where I'll be the rest of your life: in your wildest dreams.
HE: Your place or mine?
SHE: Both, you go to yours and I'll go to mine.
HE: Does beauty run in your family?
SHE: Well it obviously doesn't run in yours.
HE: I can see forever in your eyes.
SHE: But all I can see is never in yours.
HE: I looked up beatiful today in the thesaurus and your name was included.
SHE: Thanks! I saw your name next to jerk.
HE: You're like a dream.
SHE: Go back to sleep.
HE: What do I have to give you for one little kiss?
SHE: Chloroform.
HE: I want to give myself to you.
SHE: Sorry, but I don't accept cheap gifts.
HE: Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again?
SHE: Yeah, but this time, don't stop.
HE: I think you're the best looking girl here.
SHE: Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then.

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Past Tense by TheFicChick reviews
On paper, Edward Cullen was never supposed to be mine. (My entry in the 2013 TLS Angst Contest.)
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,061 - Reviews: 112 - Favs: 126 - Follows: 58 - Published: 8/25/2013 - Edward - Complete
Unexpected, or not by donellys reviews
Fork's high school batch of 2006 has finally graduated college. They have a school reunion, but are surprised to see the new Cullen. Sparks fly as Mike rekindles with the past and meets with his future. POV of different people. OOC for Renesmee.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 54,370 - Reviews: 195 - Favs: 118 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 5/3/2012 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Mike
A New Beginning by sarahalliwell reviews
Set 20 years after BD. It's a new start for the Cullens, especially Nessie. Will she be able to control herself? Canon, but NOT a JacobxNessie story. Not for Jacob lovers. Rated T for both language and theme. As of 10/10/11, changes have been made.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 70,152 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 150 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 10/10/2011 - Published: 1/23/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Bella - Complete
A Mother's Love by Kimmydonn reviews
Story of Elizabeth Masen. First, a clip, Elizabeth meeting Dr. Cullen before the flu outbreak. Then her story from Edward's birth to transformation. not quite canon.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,106 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 7/15/2011 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Elizabeth - Complete
That's What Family is For by musicxlove reviews
You didn't think Rosalie became the second best pianist in the family for nothing, did you? One-shot fluff
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,766 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 9 - Published: 2/10/2010 - Edward, Rosalie
My Best Friend, Rosalie by FrozenSoldier reviews
One Shot: 'The King's were exactly what she thought she wanted, but I knew my best friend more than what she knew herself sometimes.' Vera's thoughts on the last night she saw her best friend, Rosalie Hale. Part of the 'Rosalie's Human Life' Contest.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,409 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/10/2010 - Vera, Rosalie - Complete
Not Enough by Tobi Tortue reviews
Edward belatedly realizes that he, Bella, and Renesmee aren't living in a fairytale. Real life does not wrap up as perfectly as a storybook ending.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,235 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Published: 12/13/2009 - Edward, Renesmee C./Nessie - Complete
Guardian Agent by archer24 reviews
Bella Swan attends Meyer Academy, a school made for training secret agents. Bella's difficult past makes the job easier for her then most. However, Bella's barriers come crashing down when she is sent to protect none other then Edward Cullen. AH :P
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 28 - Words: 122,698 - Reviews: 2722 - Favs: 2,522 - Follows: 1,054 - Updated: 10/10/2009 - Published: 12/22/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Freedom of Choice by sarahalliwell reviews
Sequel to 'A New Beginning' - It's senior year for Nessie and her friends, and everything seems perfect... or does it? Rating cause I tend to use bad words... NOT A JacobxNessie story, I really hate him! - COMPLETE
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Family - Chapters: 29 - Words: 94,307 - Reviews: 394 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 9/17/2009 - Published: 4/12/2009 - Renesmee C./Nessie, Bella - Complete
Gym Sucks by BlackDiamonds.32.20.54 reviews
Rosalie hates gym.
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,689 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 3 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Rosalie, Edward - Complete
Chuck Berry and Charlie Swan by TrueImmortality reviews
Edward and Alice are waiting for Bella to come home from grocery shopping, and start to rock out to oldies. But they get a little carried away...
Twilight - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,963 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 3/28/2009 - Alice, Edward - Complete
In Her Shoes by KaceyHunter reviews
*OneShot* Set during Eclipse after Rosalie tells Bella the events leading up to her being changed, Edward returns from hunting and him and Rose talk. First Twilight fic! All rights to Stephenie Meyer
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,069 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/5/2009 - Rosalie, Edward - Complete
Fear by NoMoreThanUsual reviews
Summary: Bella’s courage does have its limits. The day Edward was dreading – the day in which Bella runs away screaming – has finally come. Jasper’s POV and Edward’s POV.
Twilight - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,912 - Reviews: 250 - Favs: 567 - Follows: 59 - Published: 6/21/2008 - Complete