Howl of a Werewolf
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Joined 02-23-11, id: 2762778, Profile Updated: 08-10-16
Author has written 63 stories for Alpha and Omega, Jaws, Saving Private Ryan, Lord of the Rings, Stepfather, 2009, Mist, 2007, Grand Theft Auto, Hobbit, Harry Potter, My Little Pony, Ghost Rider, 300, 8 Mile, Simpsons, Patriot, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Walking Dead, SpongeBob SquarePants, Friday the 13th, and Far Cry.


GENDER: Male..

NAME: Connor Noiles

AGE: 22

CULTURE: Irish Canadian

FROM: Ottawa, Ontario

RELIGION: Christian. But I'm arguably very UNreligious..

SELF VIEW: I am trying to be known mostly for my humor in stories. But I often try to be serious in stories too, though it's harder for me these days..


"I'm nothing more than a sarcastic Irish Canadian, who PREFERS saying he's part Irish over saying he's part French.. And dose little else but write stupid stories nobody cares about. Say over used jokes. Swear more than I need to. Secretly watch porn, and than cry about it. And whine about stuff I'm too lazy to change... All in all, a good role model for the kids"

"I am trying to be known mostly for my humor in stories. But I often try to be serious in stories too, though it's harder for me these days."

"I watch scary story readers like Mr Nightmare cause It's better to TRULY understand how terrible the world is. To avoid such situations. And understand how lucky we are to have such good family's, who never sell us for drugs.. Or have friends that don't try to kill us (literary).."

"Rather you like me or not. I'm not going anywhere for a REAL long time."

"(reviewing the anime Monster) Too bad Junkers died though. Never thought someone with the first name ADOLF, would make me sad, when seeing them die."

"Yes.. That's right people.. I'm finally watching Death Note! I think I'm gonna like this show. It's certainly up to a unique start.. A very "different" show then one I'd normally watch. But hey.. So is MLP. I want a death note. There's one main name I would put down. It rhymes with "Arnold Umpt".

"Those who take life to seriously and can't laugh at themselves, are always gonna miss out, one way or anouther"

"Chainsaws, salve everything"

"Ted Bundy, bitch!"

"I'm no more than what you expect from Irish French Canadians"

"Life is crazy. Nothing more to say"

"Ever feel so damn miserable you just want to take everything you own, and watch it all burn away.. Me neither"

"ADHD, ADD, Autism, dosen't affect my life orhow people treat me, but I HATE when it dose"

"I'm one of the most morbid humored 'bronies' I know"

"Don't read this stupid story unless you like stupid comedies by an stupid Canadian writer who has no stupid life outside this stupid fan fiction site"

"Having re read Cupcakes currently.. I still found it oddly inspiring. Not for the morbid gore. But by the narrations"

"I write with pride, I write for the hell of it"

"Ashleigh Ball claims that Applejack's character was inspired by the country singers Miley Cyrus and Dolly Parton. Even if it's only for the voice. Still. How can you get something as awesome as Applejack, from that Cyrus freak! Dosen't that piss you off!? What's next, Spike was based off Justin Biber. Oh god! Don't let it fuckin happen! But, really though, Ashleigh Ball really 'did' say that.. I'm fuckin SERIOUS! Look it up! You have the internet don't you!? Now, I know your probably thinking "Dua, coarse I have the internet, I'm reading your stupid story. If so.. Don't be such a smart ass!"

"I don't believe EVERYTHING, my religion says.."

"A humor themed personality quiz called me unfunny, time to track down the creator"

"Ever saw the trailer for something called "Soroity Row. Stupid, stupid movie.
I mean, what the fuck is wrong with them! Thinking it's funny to fake a death.
I get that they wanted revenge for him cheating.
But simply humilating him, would of gotten the point across.
But 'Nooo' they have to make him think he killed somebody.
What the fuck is funny about that!
And than., they said they would have to dismember her.
What the fuck did you expect him to do!? Idiots!"

"Let it be known. My original reason for posting a spoof of Cupcakes. Isn't because I hate it, in fact I "loved" it. No, I spoofed it in order to tell people to STOP taking it so damn seriously. To STOP hating on Pinkie. And STOP claiming it's so scaring. It's not even scary. And in my story, I show how things COULD of gone"

"It's the little stuff that makes me feel like I'm not wasting my time"

"I thought of impressing my girlfriend.. But then realized I don't have one.. It was awkward"

"I often enjoy watching various battle scenes of walking dead, with help from Netflick.. And my dad came down when I was watching the battles of the opening episode of season 3.. But anyway. It was abit annoying, as he was in my ear the whole time, about how unhealthy these amounts of violence are..
If I was gonna go crazy from these shows.. I probably would of by now"

"I don't get why Canada and American are always labeling each other..
Truth of it is... Every American wants to be in Canada.. But every Canadian wants to be in America"

"I can offically add "mother discovers I'm a secret brony, in possibly the WORST way of finding out" to my list of awkward moments in life. But hey. With all my morbid pictures of the characters found on my Facebook page (including my current avatar, taken from CUPCAKES). It was only a matter of time"

"I can be a very morbid person, but in playful ways (if that's even possible)"

"Your die and you will LIKE IT!!"

"Hate the haters, troll the trolls"

FAVORITE BAND: Metallica, Korn, Avenged Sevenfold, SlipKnot, Bullet for your Valentine, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Rob Zombie, Godsmack, Three days Grace, Pink Floyd, Eminem, Drowning pool, ACDC, Iron Maiden, Guns and Roses, Black Sabbath, Led Zepplin, Nickelback, Andrew WK, Black Angels, Poets of the Fall, Muse, Creed, Duran Duran, Finger eleven, Theory of a Deadman, Green day, Imagine dragons, Linkin Park, Offspring, Priestess, Rage Against the Machine, Breaking Benjamin..

FAVORITE TV SHOWS: Walking Dead, Family guy, Simpsons, Spongebob Squrepants, Rediciousless, Rob Drydek's fantasy factory, Rules of Engagement, Simpsons, Big Bang Theroy, Two and a half men, South Park, MLP/FIM

FAVORITE MOVIES: 300, The Immortals, Saw series, Taken 1&2, Lord of the Rings series, StepFather, Nightmear on Elms Street series, Insidious, The Thing 2011, Con Air, Jaws 1, Zombieland, Shaun o. The dead, Saving Private Ryan, The Campaign, Step Brothers, Click. Grown Ups, Liar Liar, Yes Man, Get Smart.. Anything with gun related violence, anything thing with Will Farrell, Mark Wahlberg, Seth Macfarlene, or Liam Neelson..

FAVORITE GAMES: Assasin Creed series, Left 4 dead series, Call of Duty series, Guitar Hero Metallica, Grand Threft Auto series, LA Noire, Red Dead Redemption, Army of Two series, Gears of War 3, Max Playne 3.. Anything with guns.



"Oh, I LIKE IT denial! That's the first part of the grieving process. Now let's all hold hands"

"Next time don't get in my fuckin face!"

"I'm your fuckin nightmare!"

"This, is, the fuck, my friend"

"I'll rip your fuckin throat open, and stuff a turd down the hole!"

"What's your poblem eh? Why aren't you scared of me!?"

"Step wait up! Step wait up!"

"Annnd, back to normal. Whatever that is"

"Now go. I need to meditate. Orr, masterbate.. Or both"

"Grrr. I'll show you a fuckin mind fuck!"

"Nothing.. Well, It didn't sound like nothing. Didn't look like nothing. I don't THINK that it was nothing!"

"Hey cowwwboyy!"

"When ever you get a doubt in your mind. I want you to remember I'm watching though the scoop of a high powered rifle"

"(singing) I gotta taste for biker blood!"

"Cute but stupid"

"I don't even SOUND that Canadian!"

"Today is going one of two ways friends!"

"Your get worse than hurt!"

"What kinda animal do you take me for!? No I didn't kill him.. But I DID kidnap his wife!"

"Show me, we're it says, no pants is a rule"

"This is all I got okay! I had a tough out breaking. My daddy! Was not! Nice to me!"

"Scooooter budddy!"

"Give me my coffee or I'll cut your am off!"

"Run you little fuck!"


"You twisted fuck! Your a dead man!"

"Oh I'm living the dream baby. And that drem is fucked! It's fuckin fucked!"

"Your fuckin A right, it's sarcasm"

"YOUR FUCKIN A RIGHT I'M DERANGED! How could I not be!?"

"It's not suppose to go down like this"

"I did it again! I'm in hell. I'M! IN! HELL! Maybe hell is good. I belong in hell. I! BELONG! IN, HELL! Maybe I don't belong in hell. HELL IS BAD! I don't belong in hell! I don't belong anywhere. I'm nothing"

"Ladies and gentlemen! This is your moment! Please don't make us waste all the hard work your plastic surgeons have done. ON THE FLOOR! NOW!"

"We weren't casing the joint!"

"Fuckin A right!

"Fine as wine baby!"

"Nomba go fuck yourself!"

"Do I look like fuckin joke to you!?"

"Yeah! Your a couple of real badass's aren't you!"

"When I say you suck. I mean you really suck"

"We're making a new deal. You leave my people alone. And I don't throw you off this roof"

"You should see a doctor about that personality of yours"

"Oh, I'm about to feel some emotions alright"


"Fuck you! Ireland isn't the only thing green! Dollars are two!"

"Niko, me boy, that's because. You ain't Irish"

"Sure I know the difference between talking and casual sex. One leaves you, sad, and empty and alone. Annd, the other is causal sex"

"You aint taking me down!"

"We told you not to fuck with us!"

"Please, do not make me ice you!"

"Oh we're gonna play it real nice. Clean as a fuckin whistle"

"Jerry just likes to think he's better than everyone. That's why he's been married twice, and still won't admit he likes men"

"Look I know I seem like an hot head and an idiot.. I AM a hot head. And a bit of an idiot.. But I work"

"Fuck you! Take the needle out of your ear, than tell me what to do!"

"You got a good look to ya.. And I'm lucky with my gut feelings"


"Kill for me!"

"Help yourSELF fucker!"

"Being dead aint a problem. But being forgotten, now thats a bitch! I cant come back if nobody remembers! I can't come back if nobodies AFRIED!"

"Why won't you just fuckin die!"

"There is nothing to fear, but fear, himself!"

"I'll get you my pretty! and your little soul too!"

"Welcome to MY nightmare!"

"This, is god"

"How sweet.. You ugly little shit"

"Bon appate, bitch"


"One thing is for sure Luis. None of this would of happened if some one has taken my FUCKIN SUFERIN BIRD ALBUM!"

"What you all seem to be forgetting, is.. Anyone not wanting to go to war. Is gay"

"Don't you see what your doing! Your treating her like a human being! Girls HATE that!"

"Oh no Connoy is unconsious. I better lay on top of her.. What are you looking at! It's a cartoon!"

"Well if there's anyone I could trust. It's a a strange man at a gym, holding a dirty needle"

"Please describe to me exactly what I did wrong"

"It's just been revolt"

"A law in every turn, and a cap in every ass!"

"We shall call it Quohaq, everyone gets equal rights... Except blacks, asains, chinesse, anyone not from England, Ireland or Scotland.. But only certain parts Ireland or Scotland. Just pure blooded whites.. You know what, not éven whites, nobody gens rights... Ahhh, America"

"Here's our next crossover story. You know that Steven King book with the two twins and the dad that tries to chop them with an axe. Can't you see Stewie doing THAT!?.. And now here's Saw sank redemption"

"I believe everything, everyone tells me, everywhere"

"Wait a minite.. That is the smartest thing I ever heard about anything"

"Oh Brain. Your such ants a picnic"

"fat guys aren't fat. Only fat girls are fat"


Cartman: How would you like to suck my balls?
[the whole class gasps]
Mr. Garrison: [furiously] What did you say?
Cartman: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was...
[Cartman picks up a megaphone]

"Are you crazy!? I'm the candy master!"

"How come everything today has involved things either coming in or going out of my ass?"

"Hey! Hey, what is this?! Some sort of sick prank?! I get the greatest thing ever just to have it taken away?! Why did you do this to me, God? Next time you're gonna get my hopes up, could you please take me to a grease monkey? 'Cause I like to get lubed before I get FUCKED! Huh?! Some lube would be nice! Or at least a courtesy lick, God! How about a little courtesy lick next time you decide to FUCK me! [a bolt of lightning strikes Cartman and the power goes out]"

Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit eater."

"Okay, you guys, this joke has gone far enough! There were no aliens! They didn't give me an anal probe and they can't control my mind! [suddenly an alien spaceship zaps him and he starts to sing]. I love to singa / About the moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a / I love to singa / About a sky of blue-a or a tea for two-a / Anything with a swinga to an I love you-a / I love to, I love to sing."

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned"

"Look, I'm sorry for nearly getting you guys rapped"

"Don't ask why Kenny decided to be a chick, it just seems to be the way he's rolling right now."

"I hate hippies.. They say they wanna save he earth. But all they do sit and smoke pot all day"

abridged ALUCARD:


Alucard: Now, I know what you’re thinking: “How did all this come about?” Well, it all started on a midnight stroll through the woods. The air was clear, the moon was full. I was dying to sink my teeth into something. Get it? Because I'm a vampire. Mu-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha… It’s funny.

Homicidal Priest: So, you came. Too bad you’re far too late.

ALUCARD: ...What?

Homicidal Priest: Everyone else is already dead. Except this little tart. But trust me, I still plan to kill her.

Alucard: (unconcerned) Mm-hmm.

Homicidal Priest: But first, I’m going to rape her!

Alucard: (unconcerned) Neat.

Homicidal Priest: But before I can do any of that... I’m going to kill YOU!

Alucard: Oh? See, that would be intimidating, if you were… well, intimidating.

Homicidal Priest: Gr-r-r, are you mocking me?!

Alucard: No.. No,no,no,.. Pfft, yeah! (shoots the Priest dead).


Alucard: Oh, yeah. Forgot about you. Sorry about that whole “shooting you” thing, but I know if you look deep into your heart - which is currently all over that tree - you’ll find a way to forgive me.
Police Girl: [dying] Guh… gah…
Alucard: Awww, geez, you look like a puppy. A blonde, eviscerated puppy.
Police Girl: [still dying] Gah… *tear*
Alucard: Christ! Fine! I’ll help you! But only because you got nice tits.


Integra: You need to stop going on walks.
Alucard: And you need to hurry up and hook up some god-damned DSL in here!


Alucard: Sweet Black fucking Sabbath! If I wasn’t holding out for that beast of a woman Integra, I’d fuck the red right out of those eyes. [Seras gets stabbed by holy sacred bayonets in the back] Well… kinda like that, only with less symbolism and more my penis in your vagina.


Anderson: How the blood-soaked protestant hell did you do that?!
Alucard: Fuck you, that’s how.


Integra: Over the last couple of years we've had some... expensive claims...
Alucard: Like what?
Sir Integra: First off -- property damage.
[cut scene of an explosion and people running away from OVA 6]
Alucard: Good times.
Sir Intergra: Dozens of noise complaints...
[cut scene to Police Girl and Alucard blasting Nobody by Skindred]
Alucard: Sorry! I can't hear you!
Integra: Killing at least a dozen innocent people...
Alucard: Oh, so did Anthony Hopkins, and he got a fucking Oscar for it!
Integra: And, all of the sexual harassment.
Alucard: ... I'm not apologizing.


Alucard: Come on! You were talking all of that good shit a second ago, then I blew your fucking legs off!!
Luke Valentine: But, I... you... what the fuck?!
Alucard: What's wrong demi-god? Just grow back your legs, (As he SMASHES the leg in his hand!) summon up your demons, hit me; FIGHT ME!!! Give me a hug~!
Luke Valentine: Really...? (Baskerville the AFOREMENTIONED Big Black Dog descends upon him as a certain soon-to-be bloody Valentine cries: ) OH GOD NO-!!!
[Cut to conferance room phone, as the committee members and Integra listen to Luke being violently eaten alive. By the Big Black Dog. Integra smiles wryly.]
Alucard: (on speakerphone): We're here on Epic Meal Time!! I'm the sauce boss, and tonight, we're eating this blond little wannabe demi-god bitch!


Alucard: It was the Nazis, wasn't it?
Sir Integra: No!
Alucard: Bet you I'm right!
Sir Integra: Bet you you're wrong!
Alucard: Bet you you're a skank~!
Sir Integra: Bet you you're an asshole!


Alucard: (appears though wall) HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!?


Alucard: Y'ello?
Integra: What did you do?
Alucard: Alright. (Alucard over the phone) But you can't be mad at me.
Integra: What did you do?
Alucard: Okay, first, I was minding my own business-
Integra: (Slams hand on table) BULLSHIT!!
Alucard: (Whining) I was!!!!
Integra: And exactly what happened whilst you were minding your own business?
Alucard: So I was just chillaxing in my room like a baller and then all of a sudden these schmucks kicked in my door!
[Door gets kicked in by B.O.P.E. forces, as Alucard recounts his trial of tribulation.]
Alucard: One of them yelled out: (Cut to the B.O.P.E. Schmuck.)
Alucard: And I responded with: (Cut to the past.) I fucked your mother last night!!
Alucard: And they took exception to that. (Raging gunfire ensues, as the Schmuck emits a war cry, and Alucard's body gets shot to the ground. Not Dead, by the way. KThxDie.) But you know how that song and dance goes. (Men screaming as they die) And I killed all but one of them.
Integra: What happened to the last one?
(Man whimpering and shoots himself in the head.)
Alucard: Silver lining? I can cancel my room service!


Alucard: You're right. Enough focusing on the past. Instead, let's focus on the past! [We see flashbacks to his and Walter's battles with the Nazis, considering we're a bit too early to Abridge the Dawn.] Back in World War II, Walter and I were part of a top-secret government operation called "Operation: Kraut Control". Walter was fifteen, and I'm pretty sure if I'm remembering correctly, I was a girl.
Reggie: Wait a second, but that implies that the Queen-


Major: Helllo
Alucard: (laughing) HE'S STILL SO FUCKIN FAT! He's like a Nazi Louis C.K.! Wait wait no no, Jim Gaffigan! Jim Gaffigan!


Alucard: Walter, do you know what my top three favorite things I've killed are? Third is the Turks. Second is Nazis. Can you guess the first?
Walter: Your father?
Alucard: (Claps) Nailed it!


Alucard: The Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird. An advanced long-range strategic reconnaissance aircraft capable of Mach 3 and an altitude of 85,000 feet.
Integra: You sure do seem to know a lot about it.





Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard. I'm sorry to upset your plans, but...
Elizabeth's Father: Plans did you say? My one and only plan, dear girl, is to see you as happy as possible, and I would never dream of forcing you to do something you don't want to.
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) Unless it was the beginning of the movie in which case I said you had no choice.
Critic: (as a scene of Elizabeth and her father hugging plays) Seriously, what did she do different? She made the same argument she did before. In fact, it's actually less angry. Are you honestly telling me that this...
Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard.
Critic: is much more stronger than THIS?
Elizabeth: (scene from earlier) I'd rather die than marry that horrifying, disgusting old serpent!
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) Ohoho, that's just the PMS talking. You'll get over it!
Elizabeth: I have absolutely no intention of marrying Everard.
Critic:(as Elizabeth's father) WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! CALM DOWN, BITCH! CALM DOWN! WHOA! We'll figure this out, man! JESUS!


Zack Denbrough: What were you doing in Georgie’s room?
Young Bill: N-Nothing. Dad, listen!
Zack Denbrough: I don’t want you ever coming in here again, son. Do you understand?
Critic: (imitates Zack Denbrough) How DARE you try to mourn the loss of your one and only brother!


Critic: The mother finds someone who might know where the boy has been taken, and...get ready, people: this is Nicolas Cage at his absolute... Cagiest.
Vasil: Hey, I've got what you need for those shakes my friend.
(Johnny laughs hysterically, stuffing a cell phone in Vasil's mouth)
Johnny: Carrigan must've told you about that thing that killed his men last night, huh? Yeah?! Well, that thing is inside me! You see, you're a bad man, and this thing, the Rider, he feeds on bad men, and he's hungry! He's hungrier than he's been in years, AND THAT'S WHY I'M SHAKING!
Critic: (as the director) Uh, Mr. Cage, none of this is in the script. You're supposed to just ask where the kid is and leave. We don't know what you're doing right now, but for the love of God, please don't hurt anybody.


Nostalgia Critic: Oh, and if you're thinking about seeing the shot-by-shot remake, I have only one thing to say to you: Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates. [The Critic imitates turning the crank on a jack-in-the-box with "Pop Goes the Weasel" playing in the background, but instead of a clown, the word "FAIL" on a metal spring pops out]


Bugs Bunny: What's dis? A joint?
Nostalgia Critic: Why does Bugs Bunny know what a joint is?


Nostalgia Critic: DUMBASS! DUMBASS, DUMBASS, DUMBASS, DUMBASS! How much of a DUMBASS are you?! In fact, if you look up "dumbass" in the dictionary, you'll find a picture of...
[The Critic looks up the dictionary entry for "Dumbass," expecting to find a picture of Doug, but instead finds a picture of Tommy Wiseau by the entry]


Nostalgia Critic: Pain is just God's way of telling you to try harder!


Owen: My God! That dinosaur that looks like a raptor, acts like a raptor, sound like a raptor and moves like a raptor... I think it's part raptor!
(NC, fed up, takes off his glasses, faceplams, and proceed to leave the room, with the camera following him)
NC: (offscreeen) No. No, No! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! (whimpering) NO, NO, NO, (see NC on the floor whimpering like a child) NO, NO, NO, NO! You can't be this stupid! You (uncovers face, which has now turned bright beetroot red with rage) CANNOT be this stupid! I mean, LOOK at that damn thing! OF COURSE IT'S PART FUCKING RAPTOR! IT'S LIKE 90% FUCKING RAPTOR, YOU GODDAMN MORONS!!
NC You know those sponge dinosaurs? The one you just add water to make them grow bigger? Well, DON'T SHOW THAT TO ANYBODY HERE, IT'LL COMPLETELY BLOW THEIR MINDS! They be like (now facing the triceratops) What's that? Oh, that's a triceratops. C'mon, everybody knows that. Oh, you're gonna add water. Well, I don't know what that's gonna-(water is added and the triceratops grows only a little bit bigger) OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT IS THAT?! OH, MY GOD, IT CHANGED INTO SOMETHING COMPLETELY UNRECOGNIZABLE!! I mean, (turns to the camera) I'm AMAZING at what I do, but this- THIS IS BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION!! OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!! (grows a little bit bigger and NC dives under his desk, while screaming)


(Malus sees the little girl from the car on the boat, looking out on the railing. While Malus looks her over, a truck horn is heard and the girl suddenly gets run over by a truck)


Critic: (watching at animated Titanic movie where randomly it has a talking dolphin for no explained reason) Okay. For the sake of argument, let's say that you stayed in the theatre after you saw this scene! What exactly are they gonna do with this revelation?

Dolphin: We are engaged in a desperate battle to save the lives of our friends, the whales! The Maltravers ships are hunting the poor things near to extinction!

NC:(VO) I'm sorry, WHICH STORY ARE WE WATCHING?! The love story? The ship? The mice? The whales? WHAT IS THE FOCUS?! You can't just throw this incredibly bizarre bullshit at us and just expect us to go along with it!

NC: I mean, it's like saying "Hey, the Titanic wasn't destroyed by an iceberg. It was an evil gang of underwater sharks who are in cahoots with the evil whaler".

Criminal Shark: (to Maltravers henchman) Hey, me and the boys are ready to go into action any time you say, guy!

(cut to NC's mouth hanging completely open in shock).


NC: OK, how long until he gets it? (to a clamoring audience, holding bets with the options "Bets for 2 Minutes," "Bets for 3 Minutes," and "Bets for 4 Minutes" below him) Do I hear two minutes? Two minutes? I hear three! Three minutes? Three minutes? Do I hear four minutes? Four minutes? Four minutes? (stops holding bets) Alright! All bets are off, let's take a look!
(Sean pokes at the dock pile until the shark (from his point-of-view) approaches the boat)
Admiral Ackbar (from "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi"): It's a trap!
(The shark rises out of the water and attacks Sean)
NC: And the official answer is…two minutes! Well done, everybody! (applauds) Well done.



Man in movie: Just answer this riddle. Than I'll let you go free.



Jerry: Oh man, you and your dumb hobbies!
JonTron: Yeah, fuck you for being interested in things, you stupid bitch!


Taxi Driver: (asks riddle)

Kid: (says what he thinks is the answer, and car drives off a cliff)

Jon: ... Guess that's the wrong answer


JonTron: Oh, Larry! You're just a... you're a fucking asshole.


JonTron: Jurasstic Park 2 had it all.. Dinosours.. Adventure.. (screaming, and camera shakes) AND JEFF GOLDBLUM!!.. CAN'T FAIL!!


Jon: Wait, it's just a legend? It's just a silly old legend? I thought it was a real thing, like a real boat with people on it that sank and they died. I s'pose that means my girlfriend's not real then. I guess there were some signs along the way. [flashback starts] When we were at that restaurant, the waiter, he said, "Why did you order two meals and not eat one of them? You just left it there to get cold." and I said, "Curb your tongue! That's my lady, and soon she will be departing on the great steam liner known as the Titanic that is definitely a real ship in the real world." and he said, "...Wait, what?"


Old Man: Here you are. Let's hope it's a smooth crossing. (Gives a sinister smile and wiggles his eyebrows)

Jon: Excuse me, uh, the fuck did you just say!? Do you know something we don't? You got something to say? Why so devious? Wait a second... I recognize that voice. You're not really an old man! (He goes up and pulls the guy's head off) I knew it! He was the iceberg all along!


Jon: There's a where are they now sagment!? I'll tell you where they are now, AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING OCEAN, ARE YOU CRAZY?!?


JonTron: I can still here the screams Papa!


Jontron: (kills Nostaglia Critc) That's for reviewing Food Battle!



Alan Harper: A bribable child is a controllable child.


Judith: Damn it, Alan! I can make your life a living hell!
Alan Harper: How would I know the difference?


Alan Harper: You sure it's just a rash?
Charlie Harper: What else could it be?
Alan Harper: Well, since we're talking about your private area, it can be anything from ebola to mad cow disease.


Hooker: (refuses to have with Alan)

Alan: Oh come on, I simply just don't believe I'm "the biggest you ever seen".

Hooker: Here's you money.. Never call me again, (leaves)

Alan: Alright.. Second base for free!


Charlie: How'd it go with the hooker?

Alan: I hate to brag, but.. She wouldn't take my money.


Alan Harper: You know what the pecking order is in this house? Charlie - Women Charlie sleeps with - Charlie's bookie - Woman Charlie hopes to sleep with - termites - *me*!


Alan Harper: The office opens at 8:00.
Charlie Harper: [shocked] O'clock?
Alan Harper: [sarcastically] No, degrees.


Alan: You have to forgive my brother Charlie. He thinks with his penis, and his penis ain't too bright.


Alan Harper: There is no one more sympathetic that I, to the plight of the large-breasted woman!
Mrs. Schmidt: What the hell is wrong with you?
Alan Harper: I don't know...
Alan Harper: I was a bottle baby.


Alan: How could you of already, lost the book!?

Jake: I didn't do it on purpose! What are you yelling at me for!?

Alan: Cause it's one of the few pleasures of being your father!


Alan Harper: And now that Judith's finally getting remarried, and I can see the light at the end of the alimony tunnel, you decide, "Hey, why don't I start humping her new sister-in-law"!
Charlie Harper: That is not how it happened!
Alan Harper: I don't care how it happened! I only care how it's going to end, and it's going to end badly for *me*!
Charlie Harper: How? Explain how.
Charlie Harper: [near hysterics] I don't know yet! That's always part of the fun... trying to guess how your *penis, is going to bite *me, in the *ass*!


Charlie: So (leans on the railing) What did you want to talk about (falls off cause the railing breaks)

Alan: (calls down) The railings a little loose!


Alan: [to Sherri] I tend to bring out the mothering instinct in women... Ironically, not my mother.


Charlie Harper: Who knew there were book stores for kids?
Alan Harper: Everyone but you.


Charlie Harper: She still busting your chops about what Jake said? Look, blame it on me; tell her I'm sorry.
Alan Harper: She won't buy it.
Charlie Harper: Sure she will. Women are suckers for a good apology. Just keep shoveling it on, 'til roses start growing in it.
Alan Harper: Poor Satan. He'll come for your soul and he'll leave empty handed.


Alan: Don't make me slap you again Charlie


Alan: Charlie, either stop talking, or at least have the decency to kill me

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Demon of Liberty City by hardrocker21 reviews
After stealing a relic from a drug dealer, Lucia Dash ends up becoming cursed after an accident with it. Now she is forced to prowl Liberty after sundown until she breaks the curse. The question is can she use it for good, or will evil temptations give in.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Horror/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,069 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/19 - Published: 8/9 - Niko B., Packie M., OC
Calmer Life by RedRose85 reviews
Things are starting to settle down... or are they? (Sequel to Chaotic World)
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Family/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 749 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/18
West End Girls by Shady Sweets McGee reviews
She took up a job at the Vanilla Unicorn in Los Santos and it didn't seem like a bad place to start over from a dusty life in the desert. Take away the gangs, drugs, shallow celebrities, and constant sirens then it was paradise. Things were looking up for Jackie. Maybe things actually would have worked out okay if the gentlemen's club wasn't given a new, curious, hands-on manager.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 43,597 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 9/7 - Published: 12/8/2015 - OC, Michael D., Trevor P., Tracy D.
Chaotic World by RedRose85 reviews
Home invaders, the deranged Trevor Philips and his reluctant associate. Carly and Johnny just can't catch a break... and things get crazier when Altruists, Elwood O'Neil, the McReary crime organization and Michael's crew get involved. Along with their family members and friends, will Carly and Johnny find a normal life?
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 12,838 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/15 - Published: 7/23 - Complete
Humphrey's Bachelor Party by Villain84 reviews
Rated T for some alcohol and drug reference. Before he settles down for his marriage to Kate, Humphrey goes out for one last Hoorah! with Garth, Salty, Shakey, Mooch, Marcel and Paddy. My first story on this site. Please read and review. Abandoned.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 9 - Words: 49,835 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 7/4 - Published: 12/26/2010 - Humphrey, Shakey, Salty, Garth - Complete
Walk Alone by RedRose85 reviews
Nothing's ever truly over... even after the enemies are gone.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Horror - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,232 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/21 - Published: 6/16
Rising Sun Of Death by RedRose85 reviews
This had started out as a vacation... now it has turned into a war. Can the crew make it out alive and what will be left as the fallout?
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,474 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/14 - Published: 6/11
Nostalgia Critic: Teen Titans Go & Top 11 Worst Episodes by Israel Pena reviews
Three years ago, the Devil unleashed Teen Titans Go upon the Earth. However, things didn't go as it planned. Now, the Critic takes a look the heavily despised spin-off cartoon of one of the best beloved animated superhero TV shows. With the help of Santa Christ and the Devil, will the Critic be able to end the show's tyranny once and for all or will he be doom to fail?
Web Shows - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,501 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/12 - Published: 4/26 - Nostalgia Critic
Haunted by RedRose85 reviews
Even after death, some ghosts don't get it. Can the gang stick together or will the ghosts tear them apart? (Set after I'm Still Alive.)
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Spiritual - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,317 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 5/1 - Published: 3/23
I'm Still Alive by RedRose85 reviews
With murder, vengeance follows. Can the crew get out of this one alive? (For a different perspective, please read Always A War On Something by Howl Of A Werewolf)
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Horror - Chapters: 26 - Words: 19,525 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/22 - Published: 1/23 - Complete
Life of a Grave Robber by hardrocker21 reviews
Robin Graves lives the life of a normal mortician. As normal as robbing graves, disposing of corpses, cleaning up crime scenes, and working with the likes of a psychotic and violent drug dealer gets. Join him as works the messy end of these desert shootouts. No pairings.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,816 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 2/11 - Published: 12/9/2015 - OC, Trevor P.
(Mis)Adventures In San Andreas by RedRose85 reviews
Chaos turns out to be a normal everyday thing with them.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Crime/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,877 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/20 - Published: 12/17/2015
Chaos In The City by RedRose85 reviews
(Inspired by Crazy Times and The NikoJohnny series written by Howl Of A Werewolf.)
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Crime - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,183 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/7/2015 - Published: 10/26/2015
Their little family by yinyang754 reviews
GTA collection of one shots set between chapter eight, the epilogue of Red Rain and post Red Rain.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,561 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/17/2015 - Published: 9/6/2015
LS days,LS nights by yinyang754 reviews
'A new life,a chance to start over.' That's what dad said when we moved to Los Santos.well,he was somewhat right. it's not exactly what i imagined it to be like.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Family - Chapters: 27 - Words: 10,630 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/23/2015 - Published: 5/12/2015 - OC, Michael D.
Dealing with the Devil by ckg96 reviews
When Rick is trying to figure out away round the Governors deal, The Governor takes action to seal it. This is what happens when you Deal with the Devil (First walking dead fanfic)
Walking Dead - Rated: T - English - Horror/Family - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,941 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/10/2015 - Published: 11/28/2014 - Rick G., Daryl D., Carl G., Philip B./The Governor
Black & White by HakuMk2 reviews
Garth drives Lilly away by sleeping with another wolf. Her friends convince her to go on a road trip to help her get over Garth. How will Lilly react? How is this road trip going to pan out for her? Who are her friends? Read and Relax R&R my friends : Lillyx..?
Alpha and Omega - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,273 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/22/2015 - Published: 12/16/2011 - Lilly
Flaky and Flippy by Undead Raptor reviews
Flippy's evil self demands the spilling of innocent blood on a daily basis. But there is one that he craves the blood of more than any other. Flaky. But Flaky, the girl they call a coward... can she fight back?
Happy Tree Friends - Rated: T - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 17,216 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 9/20/2013 - Published: 8/4/2011 - Flaky, Flippy
another cupcake by dj bass face reviews
Twilight sparkle finds her self in bind
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,444 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/26/2013 - Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie - Complete
Dark Enemies by J0S reviews
The changelings attack the Crystal Empire, but when Celestia believes that it is unnecessary for Twilight and her friends to help, Twilight begins to get paranoid. Things get too out of hand and even Chrysalis begs for help. Twilight, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy have to go stop the evil king, but things aren't as simple as that.
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,469 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 5/9/2013 - Published: 2/19/2013 - Twilight Sparkle, King Sombra
The Pink Temptation by cooopercrisp reviews
Carrot Cake and Cup Cake seem to have a happy marriage on the outside, and Carrot Cake had to admit that parts of it were fun, but he also had to admit that there was a longing inside him that wasn't being fulfilled by his wife. Then there was that pink mare who was starting to enter his dreams and titillate his desires. Will Carrot Cake be able to resist his urges?
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 27,780 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 4/6/2013 - Published: 2/5/2013 - Pinkie Pie, Carrot Cake
Rays Of Hope by ShiningShadow1965 reviews
Its a normal day like any other day as Twilight Sparkle mastering her spells in the Everfree Forest when she was attacked by several unkown beings surrounded Twilight Sparkle ready to defend herself when a mysterious stranger jumps in and saves her life.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,457 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 3/5/2013 - Published: 2/15/2012 - Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Rarity, OC
A Second Chance by marioandsonicFTW reviews
After Humphrey runs away heartbroken from Kate's wedding, he gets killed by a seemingly familiar wolf. Kate finds a way to bring him back, but it's going to take all she has to make it happen. Final chapter is up! For readers who already read, something new is being brainstormed.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,697 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/26/2013 - Published: 7/19/2012 - Humphrey, Kate - Complete
For Lilly by Gordon Pasha reviews
A very short poem I wrote about Lilly. Includes both a Latin and an English version.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K - Latin - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 191 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/12/2012 - Lilly - Complete
Spike's Pinkie Pie by MallaJong reviews
Spike has developed a crush on Pinkie Pie. He's been able to keep it hidden pretty well. But when the truth of his affections slips out, Pinkie Pie's reaction befuddles everypony. She offers to go out with him! Why? Because it could be fun! Can Spike survive Pinkie Pie's spontaneity? Or will he collapse under the madness? Who knows! (Party Of One Alternate Route)
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,818 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 29 - Published: 10/30/2012 - Spike, Pinkie Pie
Creepy Pasta The Lost Discord Episode by Lycans Are Gods Gift To Furrys reviews
I'm so putting this on CreepyPasta
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,352 - Reviews: 94 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/21/2012 - Discord - Complete
Rainbow Factory Unofficial Alternate Ending by GreenLeaf16 reviews
My version of the ending to Rainbow Factory by Aurora Dawn, its an ending that turns out good and has a sequel, which is located here /s/8646117/1/MLP-FIM-The-Return-of-Anti-Dash
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,298 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 5 - Published: 6/1/2012 - Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash - Complete
Coma by Arom1 reviews
what if kate didnt wake up after the stampede? kateXhumphery lillyXgarth
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 6,681 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 4/27/2012 - Published: 9/11/2011 - Humphrey, Kate
Spec, ops by Wolfbane000 reviews
Humphrey has a secret. so do others of the western pack.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 16,551 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 4/19/2012 - Published: 10/14/2011 - Humphrey, Kate
A Jealous Alpha by darkjoker313 reviews
An old friend from alpha school comes back to Jasper and has a crush on Kate. Now he is willing to do anything to take her from Humphrey, even if it means killing him.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 20 - Words: 18,324 - Reviews: 224 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 3/14/2012 - Published: 10/4/2011 - Kate, Humphrey - Complete
Lilly's Opposite Side by AlexTheHeretic reviews
You guys know the cute, innocent, fun-loving Lilly, right? What happens if we turned her into a slutty, murderist, naughty, 18 year old girl? Read and Review please.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 14 - Words: 28,207 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 2/18/2012 - Published: 12/26/2011 - Lilly
Love and Hate by Wolfbane000 reviews
Humphrey leaves Jasper to get away from Kate and BARF. Kate tries every thing to get him back. will it work?
Alpha and Omega - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 54 - Words: 24,123 - Reviews: 318 - Favs: 108 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 1/13/2012 - Published: 8/27/2011 - Humphrey, Kate - Complete
If Only You Knew by DarkWolfBoy reviews
Two wolves from two different packs meet unexpectantly when love blooms but neither of them know of their feelings. Will things work out for Humphrey and Lily or will she get married to the wrong wolf? Rated k
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,895 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 12/1/2011 - Published: 11/30/2011 - Humphrey, Lilly
The Truth About Lilly by A.G.Wicked reviews
What if Lilly is not the daughter of Winston and Eve? Rated T just to be safe
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Family/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 10 - Words: 11,350 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 11/1/2011 - Published: 8/18/2011 - Lilly - Complete
For the blood of the South by Bravobravo reviews
This takes place after the movie Alpha and Omega. When Southern Wolves threaten the lives of the eastern and western wolves. Will they stand and fight? Or be slaughtered by the evil lurking in the South...and beyond? Thanks to all who have stuck with me.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 60 - Words: 75,877 - Reviews: 675 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 10/31/2011 - Published: 2/17/2011 - Complete
Alpha & Omega: Global Task Force by DarkWolfBoy reviews
War has broken out all over the world's major destinations, and it is up to an elite but small team of soldiers to stop the Russian war machine from dominating the world. Rated T for language and mild violence
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,030 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/30/2011 - Humphrey, Lilly
Love Hurts by UnwarierTitan789 reviews
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 84 - Words: 65,446 - Reviews: 420 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 10/4/2011 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Humphrey, Kate - Complete
Alpha and Omega: A Different Perspective by RhettMaster96 Studios reviews
What if Alpha and Omega had been told in a way that many fans would have wanted it? If hidden thoughts were told and events unseen were revealed? A trip to Humphrey's past and an alternative ending to the movie! Read to find out! -Chapter 5, coming soon, guys! 2012 was a *very* busy year for me! Happy New Year to everyone, though! :D I promise I'll have it up soon! :)
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 22,090 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Kate, Humphrey
I saved your life by Scarlet Moons reviews
"I hate you! I wished you were dead!" Kate snarled in Humprey's face. Kate and Humphrey are arguing again, but it leads to a nasty turn out. In the bushes, crouched a hunter, gun pointed at Kate. One-shot.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K - English - Tragedy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,428 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Kate, Humphrey - Complete
Cheaters Never Prosper by Kalletia Zinkrana reviews
Chapter 13 edited! Humphrey and Lilly are having problems with Kate and Garth. What is their problems you ask? Only one way to find out. "Is that enough proof for you?" I said bitterly. Rated K for mild language.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 13 - Words: 22,021 - Reviews: 196 - Favs: 74 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 4/30/2011 - Published: 3/10/2011 - Humphrey, Lilly - Complete
Partners in Crime by StarscreamPrime reviews
An alternate ending to the movie where Kate and Garth did get married and Humphrey and Lilly both leave the park out of grief.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 18,029 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 2/8/2011 - [Humphrey, Lilly] - Complete
The Promise by CGWolf '95 reviews
It started when Humphrey made a promise. Kate made him promise that he'd keep her sister, Lilly, safe, no matter what happens. Well, this promise brought Humphrey and Lilly closer. Closer than they'd imagined. And Humphrey is going to do everything it takes to keep her safe.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 26,640 - Reviews: 79 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 12/30/2010 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Humphrey, Lilly - Complete
Alpha and Omega Short Stories by Autobot Lancewing Beta 06 reviews
A collection of short stories that take place after the movie. Prequel to Transformers Wolfspirit
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 18 - Words: 7,614 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/23/2010 - Published: 11/2/2010 - Humphrey, Kate - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Misadventures reviews
For unexplained reasons, ex-convicts Saten Twist and Derpy Hooves wind up in the violent, corrupted world of Grand Theft Auto.. And must return to their convict ways, as finding HONEST work is next to impossible around here..
Crossover - My Little Pony & Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,943 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/25 - Published: 9/13
No title yet reviews
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,513 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/23 - Published: 8/28
Misadventures Of Saten Twist and AlexMane Jones reviews
Saten Twist, our favourite, short tempered, foul mouthed, trouble maker, returns in a new series, set in a new town, with new characters.. Particularly AlexMane, a perverted, foul mouthed, anti social, jerk. Who can't hold a girlfriend, cause of his inappropriate comments.. But he might not be such a bad guy in the end..
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 4,774 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/11 - Published: 8/18
OC's as actual characters reviews
And how this will turn out.. :) I'm open to requests
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,567 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/23 - Published: 8/12 - Complete
It's never easy, is it? reviews
It's about MORE than just Pinkie now.. It's an NEW take to most of the events of my other stories so far.. So.. New name felt appriopiate.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Suspense/Horror - Chapters: 53 - Words: 28,891 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/14 - Published: 7/9 - Packie M., OC, Michael D., Trevor P. - Complete
Saten Twist SEASON 3 reviews
He's baaaaaaack!
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 58 - Words: 18,961 - Reviews: 122 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/9 - Published: 9/28/2015 - Complete
Trevor Phillips Series: EPISODE 3 reviews
Pinkie reveals to have survived the event from North Yankton, but she's now convinced that Trevor betrayed her... Elsewhere, Packie finally kills Tom McKenny, but must eliminate the small mob, or they're just be back..
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 16 - Words: 4,961 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/30 - Published: 5/12 - Packie M., Trevor P.
Rock Island Horrors reviews
Carly (character belongs to RedRose, not me) thought TREVOR was bad enough. But Vaas and Hoyt make Trevor look like a walk in the park!.. And worse, now she and Johnny have to go save their friends from certain doom.. But first they have to find them..
Crossover - Grand Theft Auto & Far Cry - Rated: M - English - Horror/Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 16,860 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/28 - Published: 5/31 - Johnny K., OC, Vaas M. - Complete
Sally's story reviews
Dash's sister is not only alive in this story.. But she never even left Los Santos.. And this is what became of her.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Friendship - Chapters: 28 - Words: 15,470 - Reviews: 53 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/26 - Published: 4/5 - Complete
Not much to say
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 34 - Words: 12,998 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 4/3 - Published: 2/4 - Complete
Ghosts reviews
Small one shot, based on RedRoses story HAUNTED
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 311 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/28 - OC - Complete
Dash's story reviews
She lost her family.. But then she finds a new one..
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 14,325 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/25 - Published: 3/1 - Packie M., OC - Complete
Always a war on, something! reviews
"Kill them, before they kill us". That's the only thing the "McReary crime organization" can hope for, when Dash accidentally starts a war between them and an unknown mob family.. With the help of the "Townley crime organization" and "Trevor Phillips INC", they may be able to do that.. (for a different prospective of this story, read RedRose's I'M STILL ALIVE).
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 11,068 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/25 - Published: 1/23 - Complete
McReary Thanksgiving reviews
This is how it goes, every year..
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,323 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 1/21 - Published: 1/11 - Complete
The NikoJohnny series reviews
The requested sequel to THE TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES... With all the swearing, violence, and immature comedy you guys enjoyed even more then I "thought" you people would...
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 44 - Words: 17,780 - Reviews: 84 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 11/20/2015 - Published: 8/31/2015 - Johnny K., Niko B., Packie M. - Complete
Crazy times reviews
Packie and Connor are completely unexpected friends.. But here they are watching over each other in these "crazy times"... Meanwhile. Dash Lucia protects Packie's poor mother.. Whatever the cost.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Suspense - Chapters: 35 - Words: 10,574 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/17/2015 - Published: 9/25/2015 - Niko B., Packie M., OC, Michael D. - Complete
The Trevor Phillips Series reviews
Try to picture this being a morbid sitcom series..
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 41 - Words: 14,839 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 10/19/2015 - Published: 5/19/2015 - Michael D., Trevor P. - Complete
My own version of Trixie's Funhouse reviews
WARNING: This story may contain frightening content, and graphic deaths of characters... Not suitable for younger readers who aren't farmilar with grim darks
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,340 - Reviews: 11 - Updated: 9/3/2015 - Published: 8/16/2015 - Trixie, Cutie Mark Crusaders - Complete
Saten Twist Adventures Season 2 reviews
He's back!, and so are the collection of spoofs towards episodes and fanfics.. I hope you enjoy it..
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 7,598 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/19/2015 - Published: 1/31/2015 - Applejack, Trixie, OC - Complete
Reviews reviews
Warning: I swear a lot now. Along with giving, annoying brony references
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 20 - Words: 5,391 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/1/2015 - Published: 6/16/2014
Cupcakes spoof 2 reviews
No summary
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,432 - Reviews: 17 - Updated: 6/2/2015 - Published: 4/27/2015 - Pinkie Pie, Applebloom - Complete
Sweet Apple Massacre spoof reviews
Big Macintosh, in his unexplained crazed state, hunts down the crusaders after they escape the scene from the orginal story.. Meanwhile, Ditto, the star of my popular story "The Story of Ditto" returns with a new role.. Rated M, Strong language, strong violence
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 14 - Words: 4,262 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 3/27/2015 - Published: 1/30/2015 - Big Macintosh, OC, Cutie Mark Crusaders - Complete
Walking dead spoofs reviews
Rated M for possible language
Walking Dead - Rated: M - English - Horror/Parody - Chapters: 15 - Words: 5,785 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 11/20/2014 - Published: 10/11/2014 - Rick G., Shane W. - Complete
Saten Twist adventures reviews
A series of short spoofs towards Episodes and Fanfics. The series also is used to introduce my anti hero OC, Saten Twist.
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,980 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/10/2014 - Published: 8/12/2014 - OC, Derpy Hooves/Ditzy Doo, Applejack - Complete
Ditto Returns reviews
Rated T. Strong language, violence
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 26 - Words: 9,187 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/10/2014 - Published: 12/14/2013 - OC, Scootaloo - Complete
Worst MLP fanfics I ever read, EVER! reviews
(no summary).
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 504 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 4/6/2014 - Published: 4/5/2014 - Complete
Freddy vs Jason spoof reviews
Sequel to Nightmare on Elms Street spoof.. Hope its enjoyed
Crossover - A Nightmare on Elm Street & Friday the 13th - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 22 - Words: 7,812 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/21/2014 - Published: 1/22/2014 - Complete
Nightmare on elms street spoof reviews
Finally returning my spoof series..
A Nightmare on Elm Street - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 21 - Words: 6,889 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 1/21/2014 - Published: 11/18/2013 - Freddy K. - Complete
The story of Ditto reviews
Rated T. Language, violence
My Little Pony - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Friendship - Chapters: 25 - Words: 13,063 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 10/11/2013 - Published: 6/3/2013 - OC, Queen Chrysalis, Twilight Sparkle, The Cutie Mark Crusaders - Complete
Ponymov Crossover reviews
In most sense.. This is only an excuse to use Pony Mov Spike.. Or as I call him. Dragonowitiz.. LOVE that guy. He's so funny... (Rated M: for strong language, and dark humor).
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,936 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 7/17/2013 - Published: 6/28/2013 - Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie - Complete
Creepypasta spoofs reviews
Two stories in one.. Cupcakes and Rainbow Factory.. Rated M, mostly for language
My Little Pony - Rated: M - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,596 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/25/2013 - Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash - Complete
Glrove Wedding! (I was here first sequel) reviews
I'm finally here, I'm finally returning my ever so popular, MLP story.. Let's hope I could keep you guys as happy as I did last time..
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 4,843 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 3/15/2013 - Published: 11/18/2012 - Spike, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash - Complete
The Patriot spoof reviews
Second tempt to this story.. Better and unintrupted this time
Patriot - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 8,509 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 2/21/2013 - Published: 2/5/2013 - Complete
Patrick meets the Simpsons reviews
What happens when the starfish we all know and love, ends up taking a trip to Springfeild, and Homer becomes his friend, and lets him stay as a guest, but soon regrets the decision, due to Patrick's dimwitted and childish ways, carzing problems...
Crossover - Simpsons & SpongeBob SquarePants - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,654 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 12/16/2012 - Published: 9/29/2012 - Homer S., Patrick - Complete
Mooch's story reviews
A story I agreed to create for The Lonely Blitz
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,649 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/29/2012 - Published: 11/2/2012 - Mooch, Humphrey - Complete
Wolves of the night reviews
A poam a friend made for wolf lovers like myself...
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 231 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/11/2012 - Complete
8 mile spoof reviews
I finally can remove the fictionpress copy, and put it where it belongs.. I made it BETTER as well, longer and more acquire
8 Mile - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 6 - Words: 3,481 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/24/2012 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Complete
Attacked, rewritten reviews
Info inside.
Jaws - Rated: T - English - Horror - Chapters: 1 - Words: 400 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 8/16/2012 - Published: 2/6/2012 - Complete
New girl reviews
Matt falls for an attractive visiter. But what will happen?
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,742 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/6/2012 - Published: 5/14/2012 - Complete
Captured again reviews
Humphrey and Kate are happily married, and the war is over so ending all their problems.. Until... They end transferred AGAIN! Only this time, they meet a new friend... Rated Teen for language and brief violence...
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,877 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 8/4/2012 - Published: 10/1/2011 - Humphrey, Kate - Complete
300 Spoof reviews
Here it is as promised. I hope you guys find it enjoyable...
300 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,818 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 8/2/2012 - Published: 7/23/2012 - Complete
Broken Rules reviews
Set after Captured Again.. Rejoin the gang
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 36 - Words: 24,859 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/1/2012 - Published: 1/4/2012 - Complete
Ghost rider spoof reviews
*infomation inside*
Ghost Rider - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 6,574 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/28/2012 - Published: 5/5/2012 - Complete
I was here first! reviews
Spike was always in love with Rarity. But when a new guy asks her out before HE can. How far will Spike's jealousy take him?
My Little Pony - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,415 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/27/2012 - Published: 4/8/2012 - Spike, Rarity - Complete
Vengeful spirit reviews
This story is rated M, for strong language and graphic violance..
Alpha and Omega - Rated: M - English - Horror - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,572 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/16/2012 - Published: 5/28/2012 - Lilly, Garth - Complete
Survival 2 reviews
Will not contain Garth, or the other orginal characters. Focuses ONLY on, Me, Troy, Cole, Austin, and Shane... Rated T for, intense, and somewhat graphic violance, but no worse then the orginal
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,182 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Complete
Harry Potter Spoof reviews
Title explains it all. RATED T: Language, violance,
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,415 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 8/21/2011 - Published: 7/30/2011 - Complete
Hobbit spoof reviews
Comedy, of the popular best selling book, THE HOBBIT
Hobbit - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 3,066 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 7/19/2011 - Published: 7/5/2011 - Complete
Survival reviews
My tempt at a zombie story. Features myself as a OC
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,257 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Updated: 7/5/2011 - Published: 6/20/2011 - Garth - Complete
Mist spoof reviews
I'm back with more of my popular spoof series, Rated T, As usual, in my series,
Mist, 2007 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3,694 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 7/2/2011 - Published: 6/23/2011
Crashed party reviews
Roman makes the mistake of bring Niko to Maisonette 9..
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 531 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 6/26/2011 - Luis L., Niko B. - Complete
What if story reviews
My first what if, since TRUE FEELINGS, It's a request from Fallout PLEASE LEAVE REVIEWS
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 2,181 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/22/2011 - Published: 6/12/2011 - Kate, Humphrey - Complete
Here is the start, the start of season two of my spoofs, all fans of my spoof series will know what humor to exspect,This is obviously the last one featuring LORD OF THE RINGS. It'll hopfully be nice and long, because of the battles
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 6,272 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 5/26/2011 - Complete
Stepfarther Spoof reviews
I'm proubley pritty popular for these spoofs of mine by know, enjoy, and please leave reviews
Stepfather, 2009 - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 2,411 - Reviews: 8 - Updated: 5/23/2011 - Published: 5/4/2011 - Complete
WOLVES THAT CAN RAP 2, new artists reviews
It seems Lone wolf and I are staying partners for now on. But because of my strong dislike towards lemons, and other R rated forms of expressing love, I won't be able handle ALL his stories.
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,008 - Reviews: 10 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/21/2011 - Published: 5/10/2011 - Complete
EDITED! Longer and made better. Look me the whole day, but it was worth it :D
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,118 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Published: 5/18/2011 - Complete
I'm back with EI Lone wolf PLEASE REVIEW
Alpha and Omega - Rated: T - English - Crime/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,175 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 5/3/2011 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Humphrey, Lilly - Complete
Fellowship of the ring SPOOF! reviews
This will hopfully be a nice and long story
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,708 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/26/2011 - Published: 4/18/2011 - Complete
Wolves that can rap reviews
Here's a story that EI Lone wolf and I are making together. Hope you enjoy. There's also the possibility of the two of us making HOWL OF THE DEAD 2
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 5,138 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/19/2011 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Complete
Saving Private Ryan - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 10 - Words: 5,256 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/31/2011 - Published: 3/26/2011 - Complete
JAWS SPOOF reviews
A humorish virson of the intire first Jaws movie RATED T: For Viliance/ and somewhat coarse language
Jaws - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 2,317 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 3/24/2011 - Published: 3/20/2011 - Complete
Fatherless reviews
Special bond between Humphrey and Winston, after Humphrey loses a father. It's my very first Fanfivtion EVER! It's short. Infact theres severial chapters. But they all ended up on the same page!
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,144 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 3/2/2011 - Published: 2/27/2011 - Humphrey, Winston - Complete
Not much of a story. Just telling how the train scene would go, if Humphrey DID admit his feelings
Alpha and Omega - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 308 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/28/2011 - Humphrey, Kate - Complete
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