Author has written 3 stories for Castle, and Mass Effect.
So, here's the thing. I never update, simply because I lack inspiration outside of my head...ok, that sounded weird. More like I'm too lazy to put the effort into writing down what I think. And when I do write, it's always tragically short and probably overly dramatic. I blame my childhood.
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband;
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
"I think, therefore I get a headache."
"I smile because I have no idea what's going on."
"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."
"Death is life's way of telling you you're fired."
God put me on this Earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I am so far behind I will never die.
There are very few problems that cant be solved by using a large amount of explosives.
You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home!
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking
"What is this 'kindness' you speak of?"
Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them!
"Somehow, in some way that was all your fault."
Retreating! Hell no, we're just attacking the other direction!
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.
You're intoxicated by my very presence
Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.
-I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!
-If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried
-Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
-Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
-Guns don’t kill people. Bullets kill people.
-'A B C D E F G, I will kill your family.'
A conclusion in what you reach when you get tired of thinking.
Of course I'm out of my mind! It's dark and scary in there!
Normal people worry me.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.
40 Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts.
1) Say: Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms
2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.
3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.
5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class
6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss
7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda
8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar
9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy
10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"
11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals
12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches
13) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball
14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmede, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Mobile, Robin!"
15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.
16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor
17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental
18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak
19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"
20) I will won't dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dust-buster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.
21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.
22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"
23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.
24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom
25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" every time I apparate.
26) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.
27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.
28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.
29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"
30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.
31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife
32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.
34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
34) It is a mad idea to tell Professor McGonagall that she takes herself too seriously
35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an experimental spell.
36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.
37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.
38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.
40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".
If you can read this message, you are smart because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty
uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a
rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't
mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer
be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl
mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed
ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling
was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
If you could read that put it in your profile!
My best friend forced me to put this up here:
FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
You know when you live in 2008 when...
1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.
2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years
3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screen name or my space
4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV
6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.
7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.
8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.
9.) You were too busy nodding and smiling to notice number 5.
10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.
11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.
Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.