Live in the U.S, born in the new century, and love fuzzy pants, blankets, socks, shoes, etc.
People should make a movie for...every book...that is good...
there are probably more, i just cant think of them right now... >.>
Lady Gaga taught me its ok to be different.
Ke$ha taught me to be myself and not care what anyone else thinks.
Bruno Mars taught me to do anything for that one person I love.
Eminem taught me that life is hard but you can make it through.
Taylor Swift taught me not every guy is going to treat me right.
Michael Jackson taught me to always love the people around me.
Music taught me how to live.
Most importantly, Rebecca Black taught me the days of the week.
My favorite Quotes
'I won't apologize for who I am' Selena Gomez
'Good morning world and all who inhabit it' Spongebob Squarepants
'I am ninja. She is ninja. He is ninja. We are all ninja.' the ninja handbook
1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use them.
"Okay. If you lose, you die. If you win, I get all the credit. Either way for me, it's win/win." -Kakashi
REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
(\_/) This is bunny. Copy and paste
9 Things I Don't Like
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2 People who are willing to get off their but to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it?
5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.
6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say 'life is short'. What the freak?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I still be standing here? I don't think so.
•silence is golden, duct tape is silver
If aliens are looking for intellectual life... WHY THE HECK ARE WE SCARED!?
When life gives you lemons...
Make orange juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.
Throw them back at the jerk who gave 'em to ya and demand chocolate.
Alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!
Eat them and spit the pips in Life's eyes.
Q: Johnny's mother had four kids. The first was named May. The second was named April. The third was named June. What was the fourth named?
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
Anablephobia - The fear of looking up
Anglophobia - The fear of England (well, with all the Cobra's...)
Aulophobia - The fear of flutes
Find a guy whos calls you beautiful instead of hot,
Who calls you back when you hang up on him,
Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,
Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.
Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.
WHAT A KISS MEANS
Kiss on the stomach = "I'm ready" Kiss on the Forehead = "I hope we're together forever" Kiss on the Ear = "You're my everything" Kiss on the Cheek = "We're friends" Kiss on the Hand = "I adore you" Kiss on the Neck = "we belong together" Kiss on the Shoulder = "I want you" Kiss on the Lips = "I love you"
What the gesture means... Holding Hands = "we definitely love each other" Slap on the Butt = "That's mine" Holding on tight = "I don't want to let go" Looking into each other's Eyes = "I just plain love you" Playing with Hair = "Tell me you love me" Arms around the Waist = "I love you too much to let go" Laughing while Kissing = "I am completely comfortable with you" picking someone up off their feet = "that they love them fully and would do anything for them"
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you
Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..
On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..
On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)
On a package of dates: Ingredients: Dates (I would have never guessed!)
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
this is hilarious)
Man: Girl, you must be a thief because you stole my heart. Woman: Hun, I only steal valuable things
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: So... Your a girl huh? Woman: No, no i'm not
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. They're also the kind that would spend hours upon hours trying to drown a goldfish... but they know i love them
People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door
When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there" type of thing, more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us" type of thing
If at first you don't succeed skydiving isn't for you
Follow your dreams. Except for that one where you're naked at work...
WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff.
I'm here because heaven wouldn't take me and hell was afraid i'd take over.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
"They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people."
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive
A best friend is the type of person who can see you with the biggest smile on your face.. and still know something's wrong.
When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.
The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse.'
I am going to put an end to my procrastination problem. . . Tomorrow
"I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for."
"It takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip 'em the bird"
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. Never argue with me, I'll drag you down to my level and beat you with a bat.
'I'll protect my friends because I know they're worth protecting.'
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!
Paper may beat rock, but cannon ball makes a big hole in paper.
The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!
"He who laughs last didn't get it. He who laughs first has the most perverted mind."
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read in school about the wars that solved America's problems?
When life gives you lemons, throw them at people you don't like. When life gives you people you don't like, push them off bridges.
Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots.
I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
"Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss."
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Did you just call me a bitch? Well a bitch is a dog, and dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are part of nature, nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.
No one was perfect...well, there was this one guy, but we killed him.
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".
If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."
I ran with scissors, and lived!
There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed.
I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse.
The worst time to have a heart attack is when you’re playing charades. No one will believe you.
Tu madre! Yes, you just got burned in Spanish. Would you like some ice for that Spanish burn?
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement
Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.
No I won't go to hell! It has a restraining order against me.
Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up
Escalator = Endless fun!
Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.
Two things are infinite; the universe, and human stupidity... not so sure about the universe.
Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?
You know what makes letting go of a crush so hard? The fear that the moment you let go, they'll catch on.
If I throw a stick, will you go away?
"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda"
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Some people are alive today simply because it is illegal to kill them.
I'm the kind of girl who will burst out laughing in the middle of a dead silence... because of something that happened yesterday.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn
Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.
Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Two men walked into a bar. The third guy ducked.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
I live in my own little world- but it's ok, they know me there.
RAWR! I ate my eraser! -cough-
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
They call it PMS because "Mad cow disease" was already taken.
Beware! For my place of employment has given me a NEW weapon...THE BUBBLE WRAP!
"The world is out to get me. Hide me in your closet and cover me with clothes. Don't let it find me."
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
Technically, the glass is always full, half of it is water, and the other half is air...
Regular lions say ROAARR.
Angry lions say BLARGAROARIMMAEATYOU
Sad lions say roooaaar.
Mountain lions say: OMGEDWARDCULLENRUN!
"A day without sunshine is like...you know...night"
"Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to"
Your shin (n): a device used to find furniture in the dark.
You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor
Needing someone is like needing a parachute: if they're not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again.
Forget love, I'd rather fall in chocolate.
I'm the type of girl that circles, highlights, and underlines the page in the school handbook when it describes the dress code: no undergarments showing, at least half-of thigh covered, no skin around stomach showing.
Never, ever, ever try to make a grilled cheese in the toaster.
I'm going to live forever or die trying.
When life gives you lemons, you'd better wait for some sugar first or you'll have some really nasty-tasting lemonade
Don't take life too seriously - none of us are going to get out alive, anyways.
Every time someone hands me a brochure it's like 'hey, mind throwing this away for me?'
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