Miss-Reed-Brennan
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Poll: Which is better for a Private series fanfic? PM me if you want to add a story, co-write with me, or would like to give me details for the stories. Vote Now!
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Joined 03-03-11, id: 2774981, Profile Updated: 05-30-11
Author has written 2 stories for Private, and Clique.

MOST IMPORTANT THING. IF YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO BETA READ, PLEASE FOLLOW TE FOLLOWING INFORMATIN FOR THE EASIEST AND SAFEST WAY TO BETA READ!!!ALSO READ DOCX GUIDE

you can send files to each other through Doc sharing. When you are at your control panel there should be a tab that says DocX click on it. Then there are four options the last one is connections. Click on that. There is a drop down box, choose which one you want to use. UserID is the simplest, just type in the user's ID (ITS A NUMBER THAT CAN BE FOUND ON YOUR ACCOUNT PAGE.)then create connection. The person you want to connect with has to do the same thing with you so that you both are connected to each other. After that you can send files to each other.

To sent a file just go to your outbox under the DocX tab and choose the recipient then choose the file. (You shoud have up loaded it to your documents just like any story that you would like to post, just don't actually post it until after your beta fixes it.) It lets you type a short message and then you just send it.

Since you are on the beta side of things all you would need to do is create the connection and wait for them to send it to you. When you get something it will be in your inbox under the DocX tab and you just click on the little icon under the view column. You would upload your new file into your documents to send it back after you have finished editing it

Hot pink puka shell necklace:http://cdn1.iofferphoto.com/img/item/921/651/71/g_bd_1.JPG

imagine every 3 hot pink beads, there are then 3 black beads. so it goes pppbbbpppbbbpppbbb, p=hot pink b=black

http://www.mindistortion.tv/iwantyoursoul/?i_am=rhyliee

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
Im EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists
I’m into THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual
I'm a GIRL, so I MUST be WEAK.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I’m BI, so I MUST think every girl I see is hot
I’m a BOHEMIAN, so I MUST be a lazy drug addict
I LOVE ANIMALS, so I MUST be a vegetarian
I’m a TREEHUGGER, so I MUST be a drug addicted hippie
I’m INTO JIM HENDRIX, so I MUST be on drugs
I’m a MUSICIAN, so I MUST not be doing anything with my life
I have GOOD GRADES, so I MUST be a nerd or suck-up
I have GREEN SKIN, so I MUST be a wicked witch
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I’m a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy
I live(d) in the COUNTRY, so I MUST (have) live(d) on a farm.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be goth
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I’m YOUNG, so I MUST be naive
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I’m SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash
I’m DIFFERENT, so I MUST just want attention
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I’m WICCAN, so I MUST be a devil-worshipping baby killer.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I SUCK MY OWN BLOOD FROM WOUNDS, so I MUST have a vampire fetish
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I’m a good actor/actress, so I MUST be a liar
I’m an ACTOR/ACTRESS, so I MUST be mean
I’m THIN, so I MUST have an eating disorder
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore with a jock boyfriend
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I’m AMERICAN, so I MUST be an overweight pig with no boundaries
I'm a BLACK BELT, so I MUST always want to kick someone's ass
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I’m a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST hear crazy God voices in my head
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that’s how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO
I’m a GIRL, so I MUST suck at all guy sports
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I like CATS, so I WILL grow up to be a crazy old cat lady who lives alone
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I’m a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I’m a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm a FEMALE, so I MUST not SWEAR.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a FEMALE BLACK BELT, so I MUST be a lesbian.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I LIKE TO BE MYSELF, so I MUST be cocky and arrogant
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so It MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT,so I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE(that much), so I MUST be an outcast
I wear BLACK nailpolish, so I MUST be EMO, GOTH, or PUNK
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I am an HONOR STUDENT, so I MUST be a NERD.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems


92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

93 percent of teenagers would have an emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you are part of the 7 percent that would say "What was your first clue?” copy this onto your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Fang told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would tell Fang to get over himself and then shove him back in your basement where he belongs. Then, you would resurrect the 92 percent of overzealous fangirls and use them as your zombie army to take over Canada and rename it Canadia where you would rule as Queen with Fang by your side as your extremely hot king who has no real political power except to stand there and make you look good.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it.Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day. Crazy is when you buy book, read it in a day, don't remember an thing, and give it to your friend anyways. Crazy is when you are more involved in your friend's relationship then they are. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever forgotten how old you are when someone asked you, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you went to sleep at around 2 am reading Twilight and/or New Moon and/or Eclipse, copy and pastes this onto your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something twice, and when someone said something, you had no recollection of saying it either time, copy and paste to your profile.

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just off a bridge, damn, I'm gonna miss your dumb ass.

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone.: Iheartjake1220, FaerieRose13, Dancer4Life15,Marigold Winters, SparklingTopazEyes, alpha-omega1996, tlover13, tigger-612 citygirl09, foreverroses, Miss-Reed-Brennan

I'm bored...If you’re bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

‎1 in 10 people born is gay. That means 1 of every 10 people is instantly put down, given bad labels, left alone, put in a minority, and so much else...all for something they didn't ask for. Many gay teens are resorting to suicide as a way of escaping. If you want to tell them ...life will get better, and you respect ...them for who they are, copy and paste this. Many won't, but let's see who will.


1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Shut up- Simple Plan

2.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Up- Justin beiber

3.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OFTEN?

When I'm With You -Simple Plan

4.WHAT IS 2+2?

girlfriend-Avril Lavigne

5.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Mine-Taylor swift

6.WHAT DO YOU THINK AOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

God Must Hate me-Simple plan

7.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

untitled-Simple plan

8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Thank you-Simple plan

9.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Overboard-Justin Bieber

10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK ABOUT YOU?

I'd Do Anything-Simple Plan

11.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Before he cheats-Carrie underwood

12.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

The Story of Us-Taylor Swift

13.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Meet you there-Simple PLan

14.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

one day-simple plan

15.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS?

One of those girls-avril lavigne

16.WHAT IS THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN?

one more day-simple plan

17.HOW WILL YOU DIE?

Addicted-Simple Plan

18.WHAT IS ONE THING YOU'LL REGRET?

Don't forget to remember me-carrie underwood

19.WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

You smile-justin bieber

20.WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

That's the way I love you-taylor swift

21.WILL YOU EVER MARRIED?

never grow up-taylor swift

22.WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Arlington-trace adkins

23.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

white horse-taylor swift

24.IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

when your gone-avril lavigne

25.WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

The best damn thing-avril lavigne

26.WHAT IS YOUR THEME SONG?

enchanted-taylor swift


If your life was a movie

Rules:
1. Copy and Paste this onto your profile
2. Erase my answers
3. re shuffle and fill in your songs.

4. DON'T SKIP ANY SONGS!!! ;) No matter how ridiculous it gets.

OPENING CREDITS

Some hearts-carrie underwood

WAKING UP

When I'm With you-simple plan

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Where are you now?-justin bieber

FALLING IN LOVE

hey stephen-taylor swift

FIGHT SONG

shut up-simple plan

BREAKING UP

you belong with me-taylor swift

PROM NIGHT

your not sorry-taylor swift

LIFE

Welcome to my life-simple plan(omg lol, that is really funny!!!)

MENTAL BREAKDOWN

Stuck in the moment-justin bieber

DRIVING

change-taylor swift

FLASHBACK

Arlington-trace adkins

GETTING BACK TOGETHER

Back to December-taylor swift

WEDDING

Find me a preacher-trace adkins

BIRTH OF A CHILD

never grow up-taylor swift

FINAL BATTLE

Runaway love-justin bieber

FUNERAL SONG

(I hate) everything about you-three doors down

FINAL CREDITSThat's the way I loved you-taylor swift


FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would read ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

FRIENDS: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night

BEST FRIENDS: Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process

FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you

BEST FRIENDS: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the BLEEP out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your best friend

FRIENDS: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: go over to his house and kick his ass

FRIENDS: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house

BEST FRIENDS: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you

FRIENDS: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline

BEST FRIENDS: Are jumping right after you

FRIENDS: come over every couple of months for a sleepover

BEST FRIENDS: are your weekend boarders

FRIENDS: are offended when you make fun of them

BEST FRIENDS: kick your ass and all's forgiven

FRIENDS: are shy around your boyfriend

BEST FRIENDS: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine

FRIENDS: don't see you if you're sick

BEST FRIENDS: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone

FRIENDS:dare you to scream into the street

BEST FRIENDS: dare you to go streaking

FRIENDS: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!" (don't ask you don't want to know)

BEST FRIENDS: are screaming and running with you


If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever threatened your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you, post this on profile.


YOUR GUY SIDE:

(x)You love hoodies.
(x)You love jeans.
(x)Dogs are better than cats.
(x)It's hilarious when people get hurt.
(x)You've played with/against boys on a team.
( )Shopping is torture.
(x)Sad movies suck.
( )You own/ed an X-Box.
(x)Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
( )At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
(x)You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
( )You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
(x)You watch sports on TV.
( ) Gory movies are cool.
(x)You go to your dad for advice.
( )You own like a trillion baseball caps.
(x)You like going to high school football games.
( )You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
( )Baggy pants are cool to wear.
( )It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
(x)Green, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
(x)You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
(x)Sports are fun.
(x)Talk with food in your mouth.
( )Sleep with your socks on at night

TOTAL: 15

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

(x)You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
(x)You love to shop.
( )You wear eyeliner.
(x)You wear the color pink
(x)Go to your mom for advice.
(x)You consider cheerleading a sport.
( )You hate wearing the color black.
(x)You like hanging out at the mall.
(x)You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
(x)You like wearing jewelry.
(x)Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe
(x)Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
(x)You don't like the movie Star Wars.
(x)You were in gymnastics/dance.
(x)It takes you around/ more one hour to shower.
(x)You smile a lot more than you should.
(x)You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
(x)You care about what you look like.
(x)You like wearing dresses when you can.
(x)You love the movies.
(x) Used to play with dolls as little kid.
(x)Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
(x)Like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL: 21

im part guy, but mostly girl!!!(:


1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 81, and find line 4.

"Actually it works on everyone" Tinsley, it girl 'lucky'

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?

Air

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?

johnny test(8

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:

8:15

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

8:04

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My phone's music playing

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

getting my dogs in

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?

The author's profile that I got this quiz off of

9. What are you wearing?

sophie's shorts, my hair up with a pretty pink ribbon and a white flowyish shirt

10. Did you dream last night?

idr, but you always dream...(:

11. When did you last laugh?

I laugh too much to remember

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?

a bulliton board with stuff me and my sister drew/painted/made

13. Seen anything weird lately?

yup

14. What do you think of this quiz?

eh

15. What is the last film you saw?

Beastly

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

all the animals that dont have homes, a huh-uge house, a 1963 red with white racing stripes monte carlo, and a bright orange el camino

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know:

I have four dogs, one cat, started this club for animals at school, im a nonredmeatatarion(i dont eat red meat, only turkey fish and chicken) been like tht for a yr

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

Save all the animals in the world

19. Do you like to dance?

heck yes

20. George Bush:

... better than obama(sorry to those tht like obama)

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?

my daughter, but others would call her Rhyliee Ann Black(or beiber, maybe Cullen or efron)22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?

my son, but others would call him Jacob Ryan Black(or beiber, maybe Cullen or efron)23. Would you ever consider living abroad?

Yes! I might senior yr high school, or freshman yr college

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the "pearly gates"?

YOU MADE IT!!! EDWARD CULLEN IS WAITING FOR YOU IN YOUR HOUSE!!!


Meaning of color and your birthday!

Don 't cheat, If you are honest, this tells the truth. It's pretty good.

Write your answers on a piece of paper, and NO cheating!, The answers are at the bottom.

1. Which is your favorite color out of: red , black , blue , green , or yellow?

2. Your first initial?

3. Your month of birth?

4. Which color do you like more, black or white?

5. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

6. Your favorite number?

7. Do you like Flying or Driving more?

8. Do you like a lake or the ocean more?

9. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

When you're done, scroll down. (Don't cheat!)

Answers:

1. If you choose:

Red - You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black - You are conservative and aggressive.

Green - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue- You are spontaneous and love, kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

2. If your initial is:

A-K You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R You try to enjoy your life to the maximum & your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

3. If you were born in:

Jan-Mar: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

April-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sep: You will have a great year and will experience a major life-changing experience for the good.

Oct-Dec: Your love life will not be great, but eventually you will find your soul mate.

4. If you chose:

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

5. This person is your best friend.

6. This is how many close friends you have in your lifetime.

7. If you chose:

Flying: You like adventure.

Driving: You are a laid back person.

8. If you chose:

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your lover and are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

9. This wish will come true only if you re-post this in one hour as "Meaning of color and your birthday!" and it will come true before your next birthday


A True Boyfriend =

When she walks away from you mad
Follow her

When she stare's at your mouth
Kiss her

When she pushes you or hit's you
Grab her and dont let go

When she start's cussing at you
Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
Ask her whats wrong

When she ignore's you
Give her your attention

When she pull's away
Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
Just hold her and dont say a word

When you see her walking
Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
Protect her

When she lay's her head on your shoulder
Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat
Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she tease's you
Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time
Reassure her that everything is okay

When she look's at you with doubt
Back yourself up

When she say's that she like's you
she really does more than you could understand

When she grab's at your hands
Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you
bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tell's you a secret
keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
dont look away until she does

When she misses you
she's hurting inside

When you break her heart
the pain never really goes away

When she says its over
she still wants you to be hers

When she repost this bulletin
she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.-

When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go-

When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you-

Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her-

Call her before you sleep and after you wake up-

Treat her like she's all that matters to you.-

Tease her and let her tease you back.-

Stay up all night with her when she's sick.-

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.-

Give her the world.-

Let her wear your clothes.-

When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.-

Let her know she's important.-

Kiss her in the pouring rain.-

When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you.


you love Jacob Black more than Edward, copy this to your profile!

If you think Jacob is too sexy for his shirt, then copy this to your profile!

If you love Jacob Black more than anything, then copy this to your profile!

If you are in love with a fictional character copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with the Twilight series that it isn't even funny anymore copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Jacob Black is the sexiest guy in the world copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fire is better than Ice copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Jacob Black was meant for Bella Swan copy and paste this into your profile.


Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

The road to success is always under construction.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Sometimes I wonder "why is the frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Everyone Is Entitled To Their Own Opinion, It Just That Your's Is Stupid

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain


1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their butts!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, it can't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?


The Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella Each time I carelessly fall down

And I promise to remember Edward Whenever I'm out of town

I promise to obey traffic laws For Charlies sake of course

And I promise to remember Jacob When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to remember Carlisle When ever I am in the Emergency Room

And I promise to remember Emmett Every time there's a huge boom

I promise to to remember Rose Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty

And I promise to remember Alice When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me

I promise to remember Nessie When I see that beautiful curly hair

And I promise to remember Esme When someone tells me that they care

I promise to remember Jasper Whenever my emotions are unfurled

And I promise to remember the Volturi When someone speaks of dominating the world

Yes I promise to love Twilight Wherever I may go

So that all may see my obsession Because I know what the Twilighters know


Pick the month you were born:
January--I kicked
February--I loved
March--I kissed
April--I licked
May--I jumped on
June--I smelled
July--I did the Macarena With
August--I had lunch with
September--I danced with
October--I sang to
November--I yelled at
December--I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1--a birdbath
2--a monster
3--a phone
4--a fork
5--a snowman
6--a gangster
7--my mobile phone
8--my dog
9--my best friends' boyfriend
10--my neighbor
11--my science teacher
12--a banana
13--a fireman
14--a stuffed animal
15--a goat
16--a pickle
17--your mom
18--a spoon
19-- - a smurf
20--a baseball bat
21--a ninja
22--Chuck Norris
23--a noodle
24--a squirrel
25--a football player
26--my sister
27--my brother
28--an ipod
29--a surfer
30--a llama
31--A homeless guy

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White--because I'm cool like that
Black--because that's how I roll.
Pink--because I'm crazy.
Red--because the voices told me to.
Blue--because I'm sexy and I do what I want
Green--because I think I need some serious help.
Purple--because I'm AWESOME!
Gray--because Big Bird said to and he's my leader.
Yellow--because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars
Orange--because my family thinks I'm stupid anyway.
Brown--because I can..
Other--because I'm a Ninja!
None--because I can't control myself!

I KISSED MY BEST FRIENDS BOYFRIEND BECAUSE I THINK I NEED SOME SERIOUS HELP!(:


Your One and Only Wish Do it one by one, don't look ahead!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done? If so, scroll down (don't cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in: Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose... California: You like adventure. Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday


"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what someone would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

Tell the truth and run.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic...

Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to pot it!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do kill me?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!

Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Growing old is mandatory...growing up is optional...

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls our good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

I walk in the rain,
So no one sees me crying.

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!!

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI!

YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

My prince doesn't wear shiny armour.
My prince doesn't sparkle either.
My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;)

Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you."

"If at first you don't success, redefine success."

F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit.

"Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

"If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?"

"It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!"

"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject."

"Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!"

That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast."

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

"I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)"

"Best friends means killing each other over a bag of chips and in the end not saying sorry but...ha-ha too bad loser!"

"Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself."

"One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'"

"If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"You, off my planet."

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.”

"Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If you die, I'll kill you!

A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge".

"I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary."

"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."

"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!"

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

homework is killing trees, stop the madness!

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.

"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet"

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too!

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head!

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school.

Evil beware, we have waffles.

"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius."

"Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math."

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks!

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.

I'm gonna survive even if it kills me.

If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen

The silent ones are always the deadliest.

I’ll be dead before I die.

Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down, stay put and shut up.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

(P.S IDC IF I REPEATED SOME OF THEM!!!)

Sometimes you put up walls not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to put it!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy.

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Life was so simple when boys had cooties!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors.

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do? kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun.

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

"He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

I walk in the rain,
So no one sees me crying.

You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Dimka and Rose
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires
You say you're creepy,
I say I know! :)

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DEMITRI BELIKOV!!

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people.

There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. ~Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Come to the dark side. We have DIMITRI!

YOU CALL ME A BITCH. A BITCH IS A FEMALE DOG,DOG BARK, BARK IS ON TREES, TREES ARE IN NATURE AND NATURE IS BEAUTIFUL SO THANKE FOR THE COMPLIMENT:P

“I am sick of people having a near deathexperienceand saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that."

My prince doesn't wear shiny armour.
My prince doesn't sparkle either.
My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;)

Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you."

"If at first you don't success, redefine success."

F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit.

"Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

"It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!"

"Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!"

That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)

"Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself."

"One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'"

"If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"You, off my planet."

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.”

"Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

If you die, I'll kill you!

A repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THEBELLDOESN'T WORK)

Don't steal, the government hates competition.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge".

"I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary."

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!"

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

homework is killing trees, stop the madness!

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.

"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet."

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too!

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head!

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school.

Evil beware, we have waffles.

"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius."

"Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math."

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks!

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.

I'm gonna survive even if it kills me.

If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen.

The silent ones are always the deadliest.

I’ll be dead before I die.

Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

You say Pink
I say Black
You say Hollister
I say Hot Topic
You say Jonas Brothers
I say Fall Out Boy
You say prep
I say me myself and i
You say Hannah Montanna
I say Evanesence
You say Superman
I say Edward Cullen
You say I'm a freak
I say Thanks.

I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC

You wanna be Romeo and Juliet? Okay then. You and your boyfriend can go commit suicide together.

Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem! Don't do it!!!

If your not living on the edge, your taking up too much space!

Don’t mess with me, I know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words.

She's got him falling head over heels for her and I can't even get him to stumble...

Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine.
Why do I have tears in my eyes today
when he was NEVER mine?

If You Really Love Something Set It Free.
If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away...

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

I got kicked out of the bookshop once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up. But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the fuck up.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


6 REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN AND WHY THEY ARE CONSIDERED DIABOLICAL

1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

> >The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

> >The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

> >The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

> >The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

> >The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

> >The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

> >The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

> >Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

> >"They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, sheasked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

> >Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of whitehair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Whyare some of your hairs white, Momma?"

> >Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

> >The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

> >"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'

> >A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

> >"Take only ONE. God is watching."

> >Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

> >A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."


A Mexican walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only Mexican man there.
As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The Mexican man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"Listen Pendejo...

When i was born, i was BROWN,
When i grew up, i was BROWN,
When i'm sick, i'm BROWN,
When i go in the sun, i'm BROWN,
When I'm cold, i'm BROWN,
When i die, i'll be BROWN."

"But you pendejo...
When you're born, you're PINK,
When you grow up, you're WHITE,
When you're sick, you're GREEN,
When you go in the sun, you turn RED,
When you're cold, you turn BLUE,
And when you die, you turn PURPLE."

"And you have the nerve to call me colored?
"Chinga tu madre, puto!!"

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

(Note: I'm not racist, even if i am white. I even have "colored" people in my family. I just think it's funny.)


The Stupid Test! (Put an x next to the one that is you, than in the end, add up all of the x's. If you have 18 or less, than you are not stupid.) p.s. this is not a real test, just something for fun!

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

(x) Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.

(x) You have run into a glass/screen door.

( ) You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.

(x) You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.

~total=4~

(x) You have run into a tree.

(x) It IS possible to lick your elbow(i saw this kid do it in my ela class, he is like double jointed it was freaky)

() You just tried to lick your elbow.

(x) You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star have the same rhythm.

(x) You just tried to sing them.

(x) You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

(x) You have choked on your own spit.

() You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.

() You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice

() You just looked at it.

(x) Your hair is blond/dirty blond/has blond in it.

() People have called you slow.

~total so far= 11~

(x) You have accidentally caught something on fire

() You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.

() You have caught yourself drooling.

(x) You’ve fallen asleep in class

(x) If someone says “fart” you laugh.

() You just laughed.

~total so far= 14~

(x) Sometimes you just stop thinking

(x) You tell a story and forget what you were talking about

() People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you

(x) You are often told to use your “inside voice”.

() You use your fingers to do simple math.

~total so far= 17~

() You have eaten a bug.

() You are taking this test when you should be doing something important

() You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it

(x) You have looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand, pocket, head, etc.

~total so far= 18~

(x) You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.

()You break a lot of things.

() Your friends know not to use big words around you

(x) You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused

(X) You have fallen out of your chair before

() When you’re lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling

~Total all together= 21~(IM NOT STUPID IM SPECIAL, THAT'S WHAT MY TEACHER TOLD ME!!!(: )


Girls Don't realize these things;

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you20threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' I really wish that more guys were like this, and I bet a lot of girls do too.


Emmett's the Strongest,
Rosalie's the Prettiest,
Edward's the Smoothest,
Bella's the Clumsiest,
Alice's the Quirkiest,
But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make
everyone feel jealous.


A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she could live. If you would do this for a loved one copy and paste.


This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded


You know you live in 2000+ when...

1.) You accidentaly enter you password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they dont have a screenname or my space

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.


16 things to do in Walmart.
1.Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2.Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3.Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4.Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5.Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area
6.Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7.When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8.Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9.While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10.Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11.In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
12.Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13.When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14.Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"
16. Stage a conversation with your shadow then when you walk through a shady area, scream that your friend is missing.


42 Things to do in an Elevator
1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, gri nning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23. MAKE car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. CONGRATULATE all for being in the same lift with you.
25. GRIMACE painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. WALK on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. WHILE the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. LET your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. WALK into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. TAKE shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. ASK people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. ALSO in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. ASK, "Did you feel that?"
34. TELL people that you can see their aura.
35. WHEN the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. ANNOUNCE in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. DRESS up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time...
38. START breathing heavily and grab your chest when someone walks in. Then stumble out gasping for air
39. WHEN someone comes in ask them to press 5 or 6 different floors
40. GET in and don't press any buttons. Wait for the elevator to be called somewhere and repeat 39.
41. IF you are the only one in the elevator, press all of the buttons and stand, staring at the door, waiting for someone to come.
42. LAUGH maniacally whenever anyone looks at you and say you're here for the mental health convention.


List 12 Gossip Girl Characters.

1.Blair

2.Serena

3. jenny

4.Dan

5.Vanessa

6.Chuck

7.Eric

8.nate

9. georgina

10.Isabel

11.ben

12.juliet

Have you ever read any Six/Eleven fics?

that might be a little weird

Do you think Four is Hot?

NO!(:

What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

maybe nate would get juliet preggo, but not the other way around

Do you recall any fics about Nine?

No

Would Two and Six make a good couple?

nope

Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

neither

What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve making out?

Eric would maybe accept it cuz of who he is, but not wiht juliet!

Make up a summery for a Three/Ten fic.

Thye try to take over blair

Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?

HELL YESH!

Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.

in love with a gay(: jk, not being mean!

If you wrote a Songfic about Eight,what song would you choose?

maybe womanizer?

If you wrote a fic about One/Twelve/Six what would be the warning?

Warning: rated M for cuzzing, murder, and a lot of other violence

When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

idk

How would you feel if Seven and Eight were in a fight?

amused(:

What would you think if you found out Five is a good friend of someone you know?

be like...whteva

Two and Eleven are your teachers.What would you think?

yay no class cuz the two might be making out the whole time!!!(:

Two has to Marry either Eight,Three or Six.Who do they choose?

Nate, duh!

(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (7) dumps (1) for (9).(1),heartbroken,goes on a date with (11) and has an unhappy fling with (12),then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with(3).

blair and eric are in a happy relationship until eric dumps blair for georgina. Blair ,heartbroken,goes on a date with benand has an unhappy fling with juliet,then follows the wise advice of Vanessa and finds true love with jenny.

I thought eric was the gay!


List 12 people that you know (You can name yourself)

1. kay

2. Emma

3. Elle

4. matthew

5. sarah a

6. cameron

7. bryce

8. mailee

9. heather

10. brandy

11. irene

12. jessica

1. Do you think 4 is hot?

HELLS YESH!

2. Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?

yes(:

3. 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens?

mailee and elle would flirt wiht him the whole time!!! (he is hot enough to have that effect on girls)

4. 9 tries to get 5 to go to yoga class. What happens?

seeing as they dont know each other, sarah would prob stil go(: and heather would be the type to ask someone that is my friend to go even if she didnt know them

5. You need to stay at a friend's house for the night. Do you choose twelve or six?

CAMERON(: jk he's a guy, that would be akward, so jess

6. 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in their reaction?

well if emma and bryce were making out, since everyone tells emma that bryce likes her , and because brandy doesnt know bryce,nothing would happen

7. 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens?

elle and cameron make mailee shut up(very hard thing to do!) and she finds a new crush in a week

8. 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue. 10 2 or 7.

prob bryce

9. 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 mintues later what is happening?

it would be a mess, cuz kay is a spaz

10. 7 has to marry either 8 2 or 9. Who do they choose?

most likely emma

11. 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2s release. What is it?

Bryce kidnaps emma, but they were kissing and he saved her from her mugging!): but probably her straightner

12. Everyone is invited to 2 and 10's wedding except for 12. How do they react?
mad, cuz she is emma's bff, but still too weirded to do anything cuz she didnt know that emma was gay

13. Why is 6 afraid of 7?

because bryce ate heather(: (7 ate 9)

14. 11 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go?

it might be about doggies or food and names9: pretty well except for constant interuptions

15. 5 and 9 are roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens?

well i would make sure there parents didnt find out(:

16. 9 murders 2s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at 9?

why would heather commit suicide???

17. 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save themself or 1?

seeing as cameron is sometimes a entleman, he might save kay, but there is no telling

18. 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good?

probably not


I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong


1.Jacob

2. esme

3.Alice

4.Edward

5.rosalie

6.emmett

7.jasper

8.embry

9.leah

10. victoria

11.bella

12.carlisle

1) Have you ever read a six/eleven fanfic before?

nope!

2) Do you think four is hot? How hot?

HELL YESH! but not as hot as 1!!!

3) What would happen if twelve got eight pregnant?

a little hard for tht but i would accept it!(:

4) Do you recall any fics about nine?

nope

5) Would two and six make a good couple?

no.. just no

6) Five/Nine or five/ten?

five/nine even though it is werewolf vampire, and gay, rose likes leah more than victoria

7) What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve having sex?

would be astonished, but not that suprised cuz they r married!

8) Make up a summary of a three/ten fanfic.

alice wants to kill victoria on her own(:

9) Is there any thing as one/eight fluff?

NO!

10) Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic

when a wife leaves two

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted four to de-flower one?

have edward be gay? never gonna happen though, never!

12) Does anyone on your friends list read three?

idk

13) Does anyone on your friends list draw or write eleven?

Yes, I think so.

14) Would anyone on your friends list write two/four/five?

NO

15)What might ten scream at a great moment of passion?

"YES!" idk...

16)If you wrote a song fic about eight, what song would you use?

idk.. idk

17) If you wrote a one/six/twelve fic, what would the warning be?

warning: someone will be injured

18) What would be a good pick up line for ten to use on two?

no comment


"And when we blow ourselves up, I'll be safe in my padded room and warm in my pretty white jacket."

"Sigh. You know you're about to have a bad day when you get your chip stuck in your salsa."

"Well someone has to stand up for all the dorks out there."

"A synonym is just a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of"

"I don't lie. I fib in big portions."

"Perfect men are only fictional."

"Sticks and Stones may scar my skin but words slice through my soul within" q

"When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up but I promise I’ll be willing to lay down right next to you"

"You don't die of a broken heart...you only wish you did"

"Friends are Gods way of apologizing to us for our families"

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them more"- ? (This is really true)

"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun."-? (speaking of elfs...shawn!!!)

"Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit."- ?

Listen to the beaker, it will speak to you,"

HEY GET BACK HERE WITH THAT STAPLER! SANTA WON'T GET ME A NEW ONE UNTIL CHRISTMAS!"

"You know what? Go play in traffic!"


Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside!

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.


10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)


Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:

1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


ONE FOR THE GIRLS!

(1) A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman alive." the woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

(2)Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And
Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death. AMEN

(3) Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for
breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

(4) Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor


PLEASE READ. If this doesnt touch you... ,( meanie heartless person!

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her afterall, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't

forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK," he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for

the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister

is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message.

2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart


There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost.

Jesus had no servants, yet they called Him Master...

He had no degree, yet they called Him Teacher...

He had no medicine, yet they called Him Healer...

He had no army, yet kings feared Him...

He won no military battles, yet He conquered the world...

He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...

He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today.

Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...

If you believe in the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit then copy and paste this in your profile.


333 ways to bet kicked outof walmart. thank you, thank you! imade everyone's life so much better.

1. Take someone's shopping cart and switch the items with stuff from the person next to them's cart
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of you on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!! You're ALIVE!! It's a MIRACLE!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _
6. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
7. Hide in the center of the clothes circle where people find shirts, and jump out and yell "AIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAIHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!"
8. Go into the dressing room, wait a few minutes, then yell "THERES NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!!"
9. Get a batman costume, put it on, and run around the store screaming at the top of your lungs, "COME ROBIN! TO THE BATMOBILE!"
10. Hide between clothing and then jump out and yell "PICK ME"
11. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
12. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men
13. Hide in a clothes circle. When someone with a shopping cart goes by stick your hand out and steal something from them
14. Grab a guitar and start singing Wake Me Up When September Ends in a loud shrieking half screaming voice
15. Randomly place 24 bags of candy in peoples carts
16. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
17. Go up to an employee and in a official tone say "code three in house ware" and see what happens
18. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department
19. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap
20. Set up a concert of singing hamster dolls. Get your friends and turn them on all at the same time. Then act like a conductor
21. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
22. Open a pack of yugioh cards and challenge random people to a "d-d-d-d-d-d-duel!"
23. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation
24. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back of a Barbie doll and say to random people, "I know where you live..."
25. Attempt to drown in a kiddy pool...
26. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it
27. Open up random packages in the toy aisle then walk off. If an employee asks what you're doing, just say "I changed my mind."
28. Run around Wal-Mart in a bathing suit singing the Surfin' USA theme song
29. Say things like, "Would you be as kind so to direct me to your Twinkies?"
30. If an employee comes within 30 ft scream "GET AWAY FROM ME!!" Then run out of the store screaming
31. Walk up to an employee and ask questions like how come this store is called wal mart? Or what's up with your hair? Why do you people wear name tags can't you all remember your own names?
32. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles
33. Glare menacingly at anyone who comes within 40 ft of you. Then hiss like a snake and act like you're going to bite them
34. Throw a fake rubber snake into some lady's face and watch her freak out
35. Squeeze their legs and either sing, "I like to move it, move it! Or say "You got chicken legs!"
36. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible."
37. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room
38. Bring your pet pit-bull into Wal-mart. Act casual. If someone is brave enough to walk up to you and tell you to get out, simply reply "He's going to help me pick out his favorite dog food"
39. TP as much of the store as possible
40. Whenever you hear a voice saying, clean up etc fall to the ground sobbing screaming the voices!! then get back up & act normal
41. Dress up in a trench coat & wear sunglasses. Walk up to someone browsing and say "The rooster is in the nest" Wait for a reply. After they finish talking, hand them a cap gun and whisper "use this wisely."
42. Go to the music aisle and start singing horrible karaoke
43. Walk along look at someone giggle at them & say to no one... I know I know... hehehe keep doing it until they give you a weird look & walk off
44. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day
45. Go in to the camping department and enter a tent then tell random customers that they can come in if they bring a pillow from the bedding department
46. Broadcast K-mart commercials over the intercom
47. Go up to the bagel section with cream cheese all over your face. Then start chanting, "We love bagels! We love bagels!"
48. Over the intercom say there is a big sale on all items in electronics department and first 10 people to the check outs gets one item free... & see what happens
49. Randomly start putting different size undergarments in peoples carts
50. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners
51. Run through the store and jump on random peoples carts singing I KNOW A SONG THAT GETS ON EVERYBODYS NERVES!!
52. Go up to random people and poke them. If they ask you what you're doing or tell you to stop, tell them that you're trying to find out what they ate for dinner last night
53. Do your American Idol audition in front of the security cameras
54. Get a marker & go over all the barcodes with a line then go purchase your items... the person who is serving you will have to enter all the barcodes in by hand
55. Go up to some of the customers while your carrying a paper bag and say "trick or treat!" and if they don't give you anything, do the sad puppy dog face
56. Hide under a big pile of clothes and throw random objects at people when they walk by
57. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good Bessie."
58. Walk up to a pizza place and ask for a Mcchicken
59. Go to the bathroom with a cantaloupe (hidden) Make grunting noises and drop the cantaloupe in the toilet. Then say "Phew, That's better"
60. Put blue paint on your hand and when you see someone put your hand on their shirt and point at them and say, "A clue a clue!"
61. Go to a clerk and tell them u lost your son and ask if they can call his name over the speaker! When they ask u his name make up a ridiculous name
62. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters
63. While Humming the theme to Mission Impossible While wearing all black, knock over all of the cans
64. Take all the CD's put them in the wrong place and when an employee puts them all back yell at her and mess them up again
65. Go to the front of the store in a baby diaper and ask a macho guy to change you
66. Take a friend with you and a younger child and start arguing over who gets custody then have the child run away and out of the store and yell CILLY COME BACK!!
67. Climb up a ladder & try doing a King Kong thing
68. Run through the make-up department and yell, "There's a dead body in aisle 3!!"
69. Grab a can of whipped cream & find a bald guy Spray it on his head
70. Dress up in a fairy costume, and climb up a ladder and when people go by say "your wish is granted"
71. Dress up as a giant smiley face and whip price signs! Then yell "ROLLBACK!!"
72. Walk up to someone act like you can read their mind & say... sir or madam... don't think that.
73. Walk towards a group of people and hit your head and say in a loud voice, "Shut up in there."
74. Put make up all over your face so it looks like a 2 year old did it and then say, "She's horrible at giving make-overs!" and point to a random woman.
75. Go up to random people and ask them if they will be your friends then link arms and start to sing the friends theme song
76. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store
77. Smear ketchup on yourself, lie on your back in the kids aisle, and pretend to be dead
78. Lay a 20 dollar bill on the ground and back away and when someone tries to pick it up run up to them and yell hands off my dollar!! Then got to a manager and tell him that they stole 20 dollars from you
79. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles
80. Try all of the sodas and put them back then say, "Yup, that stuff's not poisonous."
81. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down
82. Run up to random people and ask if they like green eggs and ham
83. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags, then attempt to fit others into very large gym bags
84. Bang on the pots and pans in the cooking aisle
85. Act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions
86. Swing on the half price banners
87. Go up to a random person and tap on his/her shoulder. When the person looks at you, ask what and walk off like you're annoyed
88. Burp and say mmmm, tasty
89. Hold Barbie for ransom
90. Run around with a country music cd and sing Queen's "We Will Rock You"
91. throw random items over into the next aisle and see if you can score into someone's cart
92. Ride around in a Barbie jeep with Barbie in the front seat and act like you're talking to her by saying "Let's bust this joint!"
93. Wrap a hose around you and shout, "AAH! I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE!"
94. Do your own radio show over the intercom
95. Go to the aisle with the Star Wars stuff and hold up a Luke Skywalker toy and say "Luke, I am your father" and make breathing noises in your darth vader mask
96. Glue pennies on the floor 'heads' side up
97. Knock over all the shelves and run around screaming 'EARTHQUAKE! EVERYON RUN!
98. find a pair of walkie talkies and have a conversation with your self when everyone is watching you
99. Go to the checkout and buy a bar of candy. Repeat, going to the same cash register, until the clerk notices
100. Grab heavy but not too heavy objects, and see who can throw them the most aisles over
101. Buy expensive stuff, go home and use white-out and a pen to change the price to something much lower, and the total much higher, then return and demand a refund
102. get a cardboard box, go in the store and pop out of the box and give out candy to passerby
103. Find the fish section and when someone walks by begin to pet the fish tank and say, "I know how you feel..."
104. Spill water on the floor, and run around claiming that the store is flooded
105. As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner say "BEEP" in a loud voice. Repeat this for every item, and for other customers items
106. Scream really loudly and when someone tells you to be quiet scream, "I will not be silenced!!"
107. Hold a bag of frozen veggies over your head and yell "Fear me and my evil army of frozen carrots!!"
108. Hug someone randomly and say, "I love u mommy!"
109. Go in the undergarments section and ask random people if they think this will fit
110. Tie a plushie to one end of a string your ankle to the other end, and run around screaming "HELP! IT'S AFTER ME!"
111. Start yelling at the stuffed animals when there are people around
112. Grab some pampers Pull-Ups and while buying them yell at the clerk "Mommy, guess what? I'm a big kid now!!"
113. Go into the bedding department and with cookies in your hand lay on a bed then pretend ur having a nightmare about cookies and yell " COOKIE!! COOKIE!! NOOOOOO!!" Then start rolling around
114. Make evil eyes at someone and start whispering, "I'm the little girl from the well... I've been waiting..."
115. Go to the cafeteria area and buy frys. Then stand by the door and when people walk through throw the frys above their head like there getting married
116. look at old people with wide eyes saying, "I see dead people!"
117. Get a tent ( With holes preferably ) and tell people to come in your lair. When they do chuck popcorn at them and ask them who invited them in
118. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.
119. Chase your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you.
120. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if you on a horse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc. And if a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
121. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your friend.
122. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
123. Walk up to the customer service and when they say "Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say "Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from McDonalds, but not Walmart
124. Get popcorn and throw at customers, sneaking up on them in an un stealth-like way, while yelling random things 125. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
126. When your alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents.
127. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.
128. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
129. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as you can.
130. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
131. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized.
132. Light a match under a sprinkler
133. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while I go get my shot gun". Then walk away.
134. Buy something that is like 5 and give the cashier all pennies.
135. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!! I haven't seen you in so long!!" Then kiss him. Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.
136. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get paid enough to do this"
137. Stare at the ceiling. See how many people look up.
138. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
139. start hitting on the mannequins.
140. Super-glue a quarter to the floor and count how many people try to pick it up.
141. Switch the price tags with something expensive and something really cheap.
142. Put women's clothes into men's carts.
143. Put preppy stuff, like short skirts and whatnot, into old men's carts when they aren't looking.
144. Run around in front of a mirror screaming "COPYCAT!"
145. Bring a friend and a stopwatch. Get carts and race around. every time you nock something over, subtract a second from your time. You usually get kicked out before you figure out who won.
146. Find a couple. Run up to the one who is an opposite gender from you, slap them, and say "WHAT IS THIS? I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL!!"
147. Go up to an assistant and ask for mayonnaise. When they say they don't have it, start crying and scream, "Now how am I supposed to paint my toenails?!"
148. Lay on the floor and do a ground angel
149. Steal their ketchup, go on the counter, smear ketchup all over you and say HELP ME HELP ME! OMG! THE HOTDOG KILLED ME!
150. Start jumping on one of their beds attempt to fall asleep until one guy tells you to get off. Then yell 'HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET AWAY FROM MY BED!!"
151. Run around switching all of the open signs on the cash registers to closed and all of the closed signs to open. Watch the customers get confused.
152. Ask for Goat Milk
153. Make sure somebody's in the same aisle, then run screaming into a wall. Fall down and say "AHHH! The pain, the horrible, terrible pain!" Until someone asks if you're alright. When they do, get up and say, "Yes, I'm fine, why?" And then walk away calmly like nothing happened.
154. Dress up as an emo kid, then scream at people, "WHY HAVE YOU COME TO WORSEN MY MISERY?!"
155. Dress up as a ninja and go around the store karate chopping people
156. Ride a horse on a stick toy thing and have your friend pull you around the store on a skateboard while you scream, "The British are coming! The British are coming!"
157. Turn a cart over and put towels over it so they can't see in. when someone starts to open it, start yelling "Hey, I'm Using the Bathroom in here!!"
158. Buy a chocolate bar, go to the bathroom, smear chocolate on your hand, reach under the next stall and ask, "Can I have some toilet paper?"
159. Take a fishing pole, tie it to a dollar, and go fishing for humans!
160. Climb up to one of the really high shelves and start singing Christmas carols at the top of your lungs. Works better around summer.
161. Get a mirror and put it on top of a cart so it lay across it. Get on top and have someone push you down an isle, and Sing "Surfin' USA"
162. When the intercom comes on, fall on your knees and scream in tears of joy, "God has spoken!!"
163. Get on a bike and ride around and crash into everything and everyone who gets in your way.
164. Pour a bunch of lemonade from the entrance to the bathroom and come out saying someone should have told me where the bathroom was quicker!
165. Steal guns and ammo and shoot all the TV's you can find. whoever blows up most wins
166. Get an umbrella and have someone in a cart (or just a tall person) pour water on it while you sing Raindrops Are Fallin' On My Head.
167. Call the front desk and when they answer the phone say I'm sorry, your call could not be completed as dialed. Please hang up and try again. Then call and say I'm sorry, I will have to put you on hold. Can you call back? I'm busy on isle 3.
168. Go into one of those employees only doors and go behind some food shelves. when people reach out to grab food, grab their arm and start to pull on it.
169. eat all the ice cream boxes and then blame it on a worker with ice cream all over your face
170. Pour carrots on the floor so the employees have to pick it up. Continue doing it for a long period of time.
171. Skate around on a skateboard, then fall over and pretend to break your leg.
172. Start playing the violin.
173. Stare at a blank T.V, for an hour and when somebody asks what your doing, answer, "Shh, this is my favorite show!"
174. Stand on the conveyor belt at the check out with a barcode on your forehead.
175. Start saying stuff like argetrargrehargenstartgen to everyone who walks in.
176. walk around in dirty cloths and eat all the produce lika a bum
177. Poke people and run away screaming, "Don't touch me!!"
178. Stare at people for a minute and then smile at them happily
179. Beat your chest and run around screaming like Tarzan.
180. Throw stuff on the floor and start yelling at an imaginary friend.
181. Shoot spitwads at people and then fall on the ground laughing hysterically
182. Go into a bathroom that is of the opposite gender of yourself and open the stalls saying, "Ooh la la!"
183. Walk up to random people, give them a hug, and say, "I love you!"
184. Dress up as an old man and start stealing stuff
185. Start a fire, then sit around it with your friends in Indian clothes.
186. Walk around in a court jester costume
187. Run at people with a pitch fork
188. Pretend that you're having a heart attack
189. Throw tomatoes at people and then tackle them
190. Get on the intercom and calmly say, "Attention shoppers. I would like to inform you that the world is about to end, and that there's a sale on isle two."
191. Buy a carton of vanilla ice cream, run up to the cash register, tell the cashier you forgot your money, then start dancing like Napoleon Dynamite, screaming, "Where's my chap stick?!"
192. Pretend to be Spiderman by running up walls and trying to save people
193. Claim isle three as your 'Secret Lair'
194. Run around the store singing the My Little Pony theme song as loud as you can.
195. Get a giant Christmas stocking and hop around in it like it's a potato sack on field day
196. Build a wall out of stuffed animals
197. Put on a cape and run around singing the Phantom of the Opera
198. Yell curse words at people
199. Knock down as many displays as you can
200. Go up to a random old guy with white hair and say, "I want Bratz for Christmas! Thank you Santa!" and then give him a hug and run away.
201. Dress up in a super villain costume and then go around the store yelling, "MARRY ME!" to random people
202. Go up to a tough looking guy and push him and say you wanna fight? And when he pushes back start to cry and run away
203. Point to a cash register and ask the cashier, "How much is that?"
204. Get a tent and campout with the Barbie dolls in the toy isle
205. Chew gum loudly in people's faces
206. Throw a poke-ball at someone and yell, "PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!"
207. Turn on all the flashlights, hang them from the ceiling, stand under them, scatter confetti at your feet, and start singing, using a Barbie as a microphone.
208. Play baseball in the middle of the store, then score a home run and run around the store screaming.
209. Flirt with someone, plan a date, and then break up with them, all in 10 minutes.
210. Get a cart and pile it high with items. When the cashier tells you the price, exclaim, "What a rip off!" And walk out of the store.
211. Start singing, "Tinkle, tinkle, little star! In a toilet that's real far! Up above us in the sky! It's weird to learn that pee does fly! Make sure it does never land! In my, my, my, my, my hand!"
212. Find all the beans you can and put them in your cart, and then tell random people that it's your breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next couple years.
213. Pay for your stuff with all pennies, and then come up one too short.
214. Scream, "Look! Someone's stealing an old lady's purse!" and when they look away, take all the stuff in their cart and throw it around the store shouting "I'm a terrorist!"
215. Run out of the dressing room screaming, "Michael Jackson has my dad!"
216. Go to the pet isle. Point to a fish and say, "I'll have that one. And that one. And that one..." Keep going until you've pointed to every fish they have in stock
217. Tap dance through the store
218. Change the music on the intercom to Mexican
219. Rip open every package you see
220. Get on a bike and have your friend chase you. Pretend you are going to run over somebody and then move out the way.
221. Stand in front of the security camera and pretend to die (dramatically)
222. Scream "SECURITY!" as loud as you can. When they come up act all panicky and say "This is really important!" Then smile and say, "Hi."
223. Sing "Mary Had A Little Lamb" as loud as you can in the music section, then smile and say "Well, it's the music section so I thought you might like some live music." Then sing it again.
224. Run around with underwear on your head, screaming, "I am Captain Underpants!"
225. Follow a male security dude and ask him where the "feminine needs" are.
226. Go to the toy isle, set up the GI joe figures and yell, " Then it's WAR!!"
227. Pull down your pants next to a flower display and "water" the flowers.
228. Go to the bakery section and yell "I LOVE PIE!" to everyone you see.
229. Take all the pets out of their cages, including the fish.
230. Grab a strawberry shortcake doll and go to the bakery section. Tell the baker "I'd like to buy strawberry shortcake!" and hold the doll in their face.
231. Scream, "GET OUT OF MY YARD!" to everyone who walks by you.
232. Announce that there's a huge sale at Target
233. Throw a party in a busy isle
234. Test drive lawn mowers
235. Have a tennis tournament in the middle of the store
236. Throw all the bouncy balls in the toy section everywhere and let them bounce around
237. Carry a bomb and make it explode
238. Eat a bunch of candy and refuse to pay for it
239. Go to the in store restaurant and order anything. When receiving it tell them that this was not what you wanted. Refuse to pay and go tell the manager
240. Hide in a pile of plushies and then jump out at people who walk by
241. Act like an old lady and scream, "AH! I broke my back! This wouldn't happen at Target!"
242. Pretend to be a life size Barbie. When someone wants to buy you, run away screaming that someone was trying to kidnap you.
243. Take a marker to all the happy faces. Then change the prices. That will start an uproar
244. When a clerk stops you and asks your name read their name of their id card. When they say it's not your name scream, "IDENTITY THEFT!!"
245. Throw jelly sweets at the cashiers
246. Steal a shopping cart(As in take it out of the store and put it in your car)
247. Ride on the back of the carts. (they hate it when you do that) Run into other carts yelling like a maniac.
248. Follow one person around the store. Poke them ever so often. When the snap and yell at you scream, "STALKER!!"
249. Pretend like you're a person who works there and walk around saying, "Can I help you find anything?"
250. Spill cooking oil all over the floor and then slide in it
251. Pretend like you're blind and can't find what your looking for. Go up to random people and ask, "Will you help me find some cat food for Fluffy?"
252. Bowl with bottles full of open soda
253. Run around with a bowl of cheerios yelling, "It lowered my cholesterol!"
254. Order a pizza from the cashier
255. Ask to have your pizza shaken, not stirred
256. Start a food fight
257. Go up to a fat woman and say, "Taxi?"
258. Put underwear over your shorts, get a blue shirt, yellow paint, and red paint, paint an s on the shirt, go to the material section, cut a red cape, then get an umbrella, open it, and jump off the tops of shelves.
259. Take the spray paint and paint all the people around you
260. Go up to random people and hug them while putting a 'Kick Me' sign on the back of their shirt
261. Hide in dark places with a golden ring. when people walk by, jump out at them hissing, "We wants it! You cants have it!" Then gently whisper, "it will be alright my precious"
262. Flip off the manager
263. Go to the food section, take all of the boxed items out, and stack them up to make a fort. Glue can help. And creating a 'distraction' elsewhere for the employees to handle while you work does too...
264. Drop a pen and let someone else go and pick it up for you. When they do try to pick it up yell to them, "HEY THATS MY PEN THEIF!"
265. Bring a slip n' slide blast some Music and bring some random people to it and kick their back so they slide accross the slip n' slide and scream "PARTY IN THE HIZ HOUSE!!"
266. Throw a dance party
267. Write on the floors
268. Pull all the clothes off the racks into a pile on the floor and hide under it, and when someone tries to pick the clothes up, leap out cackling madly and run down the aisles, still cackling.
269. Go up to someone and say "look over there" Then pull down their pants. And, if you're lucky, their underwear.
270. Pretend to have an asthma attack, and when someone tries to help you, bite them. Or pretend to faint.
271. Get a bag of chips and walk around the store eating them. When an employee tries to stop you or make you pay, tell them that they're your chips! Keep screaming it.
272. Spray a customer with pepper spray and scream, "Help! Help! He's a rapist!"
273. Pretend to be a rabid dog and run around growling at people. Then if someone tries to stop you, bite them.
274. Lie on the floor. Just lie there. It is guaranteed to freak people out. Either pretend to be asleep, or to have passed out.
275. Take toys and put them on the floor and take a cart. Start running over the toys screaming, "Monster Truck Mania!!"
276. Climb up the shelves/storage units, then refuse to come down.
277. Take red juice Pour it on your face make streaks or stripes then layout on the floor with a flower in your hand when a crowd of people come stand up and walk like a zombie!
278. Grab a bowl, spoon, milk, and cereal. Eat it right there and tell them you'll pay when your done.
279. Stand on the conveyer belt when your checking out and walk like its a treadmill... then ask for a speed increase
280. Wrap yourself in toilet paper rolls and pretend to be a mummy looking for your wife, Cleopatra
281. Follow a stranger around and mimic them. Continue doing this for a long period of time.
282. If you are in Target, say there is a code yellow
283. Get some candy corn form the candy aisle put two on your canine teeth and go around the store biting peoples necks
284. Flirt with the manager's wife
285. Walk calmly to the CDs, when u see one that has Hilary Duff, yell (if you're a fan) OHMIGOD! HILARY'S LATEST! OHMIGOSH, I, LIKE HAVE TO HAVE THIS! (if you're not a fan) Find a hammer, take the CD, gently put it on the floor, then mash it like a madman.
286. Run around spinning and say you're the Tasmanian devil
287. Run around in circles and yell, "I'M THE CIRCLE MAN!"
288. Announce a sock-sliding contest and take off your shoes and start sliding. It's actually really fun...
289. Go up to a employee ask for a application and where it says goals write down 'to take over Wal-Mart' and turn it in
290. Get a water gun and threaten someone with it. A cashier is usually a prime candidate. Then say in a low, dangerous voice (without collapsing into laughter) "Empty out the cash register."
291. Take a soda, shake it up, and then spray it at people.
292. Hide in the clothes so when someone comes to look you yell, "PICK ME!"
293. Request that an employee find you an imaginary product, then keep saying: "I know it's here somewhere, just keep looking!" Eventually the employee will run out of patience, so then you say: "You've been punked!" And run out screaming and laughing. (Maybe you won't get kicked out, but you'll freak an employee out...)
294. Print out a bunch of advertisements for Target, Marshalls, etc... Then calmly go around taping/gluing/stapling them to products, people, and walls. It helps to have a WHOLE lot of them.
295. Move things around. (Put frozen food in with the barbies, etc...)
296. If a fat person has a twinkies in their cart take it out and start eating it and spit it out on them and yell, "That crud is sick!"
297. Point at an old man and yell, "LOOK EVERYONE! IT'S BRITNEY SPEARS!"
298. Put a ski mask on and wear a black cape with black clothes and a fake sword and yell, "Zoro has returned!"
299. Dress up as an old lady and whack people with your purse and when employees come to stop you, pretend to faint
300. Go to Wal-Mart at 2:00 in the morning and do cartwheels around the store screaming, "I'm pregnant!"
301. Put on a long wig and claim to be Pocahontas
302. Break some glass, then accuse a flying monkey
303. Threaten a cashier with a candy bar
304. Bring in scissors and glue. If anyone asks, tell them you are fulfilling your dream of giving Wal Mart a Make Over.
305. Buy a bag of candy. Start to walk away, then ask if you can exchange them. Repeat until they get angry.
306. Go to the dairy section and protest against milking cows. Say things like, "What if the cows aren't ok with us milking them? Cows have rights too!" 307. Redecorate the Rollback Smiley Face so he is green with neon pink eyes.
308. Go up to the manager and ask where the nearest K-Mart is.
309. If you see a couple holding hands, run through their hands and scream, "RED ROVER!"
310. Grab a gnome, then hide in a clothes rack and when someone picks out a shirt or whatever jump out and yell "The gnome did it! The gnome did it!" Then throw the gnome and run.
311. Put up free sample signs all over the store and watch people leave with their "free samples."
312. Run around the store screaming, "OMG! HELP! PINTO BEANS ARE TAKING OVER COSTCO! AHHH!"
313. In Walmart, they give out free stickers. Take them and decorate your body with them. 314. Get a bunch of your friends, about 10 or more, and go up to a lady who looks like she's in her 20's. When there are lots of people around, ask, "Mommy? Can we have some ice cream?"
315. Spit in the manager's face
316. Stare at a customer for a long time while saying, "Hello, hello, hello" nonstop until they get really mad
317. Go to customer service and say, "Your fat valet guy stole my car."
318. Put an "Out of Order" sign on the manager's butt
319. Go up to customers and whisper, "Seven Days..." and if they turn around, pelt them with Skittles
320. Melt chocolate, then scream, "Free face masks!"
321. Wear a pair of bright yellow pants on your head and run around screaming, "They Got Me!!"
322. Slap the manager and scream, "He's alive! He's ALIVE!!"
323. Put a lot of matches and gasoline in your cart, then smile at people
324. Run around the store five times, and when you are done, scream, "I WIN!" and do a victory dance
325. Let a collie lose in the store, then scream, "Lassie, come home!"
326. Make your friend that's a guy try on girl clothes and then have him run around like a crazy person.
327. Hide in a boys clothes rack, and when a boy with glasses walks by, scream, "You're a wizard, Harry!"
328. Grab lots of G.I. Joe action figures and Water Bombs and yell, "ITS WAR!!" whenever someone walks by and throw the bombs at them.
329. Put a Dora toy on the floor and when someone tries to pick it up, yell, "Swiper No Swiping!"
330. Buy a fake but expensive looking vase. (ex. a cheap glass pot.) Fill it with some ash and soot. Then take it to an employee, bump into him and drop it so it shatters. Then keep screaming at him that it was your mother and you will sue him for every thing he owns, and tell him he has to pick it up then and there or he will be cursed for 10 years.
331. Put a squirt gun in a stuffed elmo's hand and scream, "Everybody down!! Elmo's got a gun!"
332. Drive around in a kiddie car singing the batman theme song.
333. Run around with underwear on your head screaming, "I'm Blind!!

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven


NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
TWILIGHT FANS: would rather rely on Alice for future predictions.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say OMG!
TWILIGHT FANS: say OME! (OH MY EDWARD!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings.
TWILIGHT FANS: know that Jasper already can sense their feelings without saying a word.

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
TWILIGHT FANS: say shut up or I'll get James to kill you.

NORMAL PEOPLE: think that vampires are all like Dracula.
TWILIGHT FANS: know A LOT better and absolutely love the Cullen vampires.

NORMAL PEOPLE: when being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
TWILIGHT FANS: when being chased yell EDWARD SAVE ME!!!

NORMAL PEOPLE: get nervous/scared during thunderstorms.
TWILIGHT FANS: know that the Cullens might be playing baseball somewhere and Emmett was just at bat ; )

NORMAL PEOPLE: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
TWILIGHT FANS: would go directly to FORKS WASHINGTON.

NORMAL PEOPLE:dont have this on there profile.
TWILIGHT FANS: MUST have this on there profile.


He gave her 12 roses,

11 real and one fake,

and said,

"I'll love you until the last rose dies."


If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile:

This story is about a little girl that was abused. If you care about it, copy and paste it to your profile.

My name is sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see,

I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me.

I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long

When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight

Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar.

I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall.

I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry.

He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work.

He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more, I finally get free And I run for the door.

He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall.

I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken.

"I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate.

The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end!

And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor.

My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy, Murdered me.


Try Not To Cry:

Johnny brought a gun to school,
He told his friends that it was cool,
And when he pulled the trigger back,
It shot with a great crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did
What I was told,
I went to school, I got straight As',
I even got the gold!

But Mommy, when I went to school that day,
I never said goodbye,
I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go,
But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun,
He hit me and another,
And all because Johnny,
Got the gun from his older brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy;
That I love him very much,
And please tell Chris; my boyfriend;
That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister;
That she is the only now,
And tell my dear sweet Grandmother;
I'll be waiting for her now,

And tell my wonderful friends;
That they always were the best,
Mommy, I'm not the first,
I'm no better then the rest.

Mommy, tell my teachers;
I won't show up for class,
And never to forget this,
And please don't let this pass.

Mommy, why'd it have to be me?
No one deserves this,
Mommy, warn the others,
Mommy, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy, tell the doctors;
I know they really did try,
I think I even saw a doctor,
Trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying,
With a bullet in my chest,
But Mommy, please remember,
I'm in heaven with the rest.

Mommy, I ran as fast as I could,
When I heard that crack,
Mommy, listen to me if you would,
I'm not coming back.

I wanted to go to college,
I wanted to try things that were new,
I guess I'm not going with Daddy;
On that trip to the new zoo.

I wanted to get married,
I wanted to have a kid,
I wanted to be an actress,
Mommy, I wanted to live.

But Mommy, I'm must go now,
The time is getting late,
Mommy tell my boyfriend,
I'm sorry, but I had to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have,
I know; you know it's true,
And Mommy all I wanted to say is,
"Mommy, I love you"

--In Memory Of The School Shootings--
If this poem touched you in any way, please pass it
on. And even if it didn't, pass it on just for the
memory of the innocent children


Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot:

1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die.

2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie.

3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably?

4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex.

5. She's a freaking spaz. (Yep)

Repost if you agree to at least three statements.


One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.


Friends: Tell you that you look nice.
Best Friends: Say your outfit looks like throw up, and then help you find a new one 10 minutes before school starts.

Friends: Say "see you later!"
Best Friends: Say "I LUUUUUHHHVVV you! DON'T LEAAVVEE!" and then tackle/hug you.

Friends: Forgive you.
Best Friends: Hold a fake grudge against you until you let them borrow a hair band.

Friends: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.
Best Friends: Say the same thing, except then they laugh and say "I guess that counts for me too!"

Friends: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house.
Best Friends: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you.

Friends: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline.
Best Friends: Are jumping right after you.

Friends: come over every couple of months for a sleepover.
Best Friends: are your weekend boarders.

Friends: are offended when you make fun of them.
Best Friends: kick your ass and all's forgiven.

Friends: are shy around your boyfriend.
Best Friends: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine.

Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you.
Best Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the shit out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend.


"REMEMBER WHEN"

REMEMBER WHEN ..
getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do
WAS GROW UP?

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!


Girls Need To Realize: WRITTEN BY A GUY! :)

We guys don't care if you talk to other guys.
We don't care if you're friends with other guys.
But when you're sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn't help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we're still there.
We don't care if a guy calls, OR TEXTS, but at 2 in the morning we do get a little concerned.
Nothing is that important at 2 a.m.
That it can't wait till the morning.
Also, when we tell you you're pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don't tell us we're wrong.
We'll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
Don't be mad when we hold the door open.
Take Advantage of the mood I'm in.
Let us pay for you! Dont 'feel bad', we enjoy doing it.
It's expected.
Smile and say 'thank you'.
Kiss us when no one's watching.
If you kiss us when you know somebody's looking, we'll be more impressed.
You don't have to get dressed up for us.
If we're going out with you in the first place, you don't have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have or put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for who you are and not what you are.
Honestly, I think a girl looks more beautiful when she's just in her pj's. Or my tshirt and boxers, not all dolled up.
Don't take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don't get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
Don't talk about how hott Chris Brown, Brad Pitt, or Jesse McCartney is in front of us.
It's boring, and we don't care. You have girlfriends for that.
Whatever happened to the word 'handsome'/'beautiful' I'd be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with 'Hey handsome!' instead of 'Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy' or whatever else you can think of.
On the other hand I'm not saying I wouldn't like it either... ;- )
Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren't being treated right by a guy, dont wait for him to change!!
Ditch his sorry butt, disgrace to the male population and find someone who will treat you with utter respect!
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you're at your lowest.
Someone who will care for you even when you make mistakes.
Someone who will love you, no matter how bad you make them feel.
Someone who will stop what they're doing just to look you in the eyes...and say 'I love you'...and actually mean it.
Give the nice guys a chance.

Guys repost this if you agree.
Girls repost this if you think it's cute.

Every Guy who isn't a jerk will agree with this,
so we hope that all the girls that read this will repost this.


A Twilight Survey

Which book in the series is your favorite?
Breaking Dawn.

How long did it take you to read the books?
a couple hours each

Who introduced you to the books?
My EX bff kinsey

Did you buy them, borrow them, or have them given to you as a gift?
I bought them all, but I first borrowed Twilight from kinz before I bought it.

Are you most looking forward to: Breaking Dawn, Midnight Sun, or the movie?
Midnight Sun, the bok and movie

Favorites:

Who is your favorite character?
JACOB

Who's your favorite vampire?
Edward

Who is your favorite werewolf?
Jacob

What's one of your favorite quotes from the stories?
"Bella, would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?" -Edward, Eclipse.

What was your favorite Bella and Edward moment?
When Edward tells Bella that he was watching her while she slept.

What was your favorite Bella and Jacob moment?
THE KISS

What was your favorite adventure/battle?
Edward\Victoria battle in Eclipse.

Which book cover was your favorite?
Breaking Dawn.

Are these books among your favorite books of all?
Yes.


Things I learned while reading TWILIGHT:

1. You can enjoy the boquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.
31. Werewolves stink.
32. Don't imprint on your best friend's daughter or she will try to bite you!


1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers you know.
12.Strangers you don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to delete above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill them for security purposes.
16.Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.
17.Make a scene whenever humanly possible.
18.The men in white coats are not your friends.
19.Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.
20.When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.
21.Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.
22.Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.
23.Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.
24.Always remember, um... um... Damn.
25.Train army of flying monkeys.
26.Goldfish don't like milk.
27.Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.
28.Find out who invented the word "pianist".
29.People are staring at you.
30.So act insane.
31.People are weird, but not as weird as me.
32.Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... And teeth.
33.Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.
34.Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experiance. Do this as much as possible.
35.You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... Bonding.
36.Never pet a burning dog.
37.Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you are wearing a parka.
38.Naked men dig parkas.
39.Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.
40.You know what would look good on you?
41.Immolated cockroaches.
42.Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.
43.The size of Danny DeVito.
44.Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.
45.Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.
46.Stalking is fun. Do it more.
47.Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree!"
48.No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.
49.That way is rum.
50.Constipated people don't give a sh-t.
52.You cannot kill the snow.
53.The snow can kill you.
54.Grass can also kill you.
55.The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...
56.Catch and castrate leprechaun.
57.HE is real... No matter what the men in white coats say.
58.Staple paper in the middle of the page.
59.In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.
60.You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.
61.Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.
62.Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul sucking demon.
63.Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?
64.Ask Senior Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.
65.Remember to kill HIM...
66.Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.
67.Note reactions. Avoid parents.
68.The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.
69.Scream, the doctors don't like it, they'll give you a shot of something nice.
70.Hide the bodies, otherwise peole ask embarressing questions.
71.Eat the evidence.
72.But not if it's broken glass.
73.When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.
74.Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.
75.Disregard last note.
76.Note reactions.
77.On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.
78.Stock up on ball point pens.
79.Learn to fly. Tell no one.
80.The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.
81.Do not stick fingers into blender.
82.Blender... Bad... Ouch.
83.Blood loss is bad.
84.Find way to re-attatch fingers.
85.Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.
86.Answer every question with a question.
87.Ask people what gender they are.
88.Note reactions.
89.Refer to people as "mortal".
90.The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.
91.Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.
92.Start by drowning them in fire ants.
93.Find the creators of pop-up messages.
94.Kill them.
95.Brutally.
96.Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.
97.Dunk head in boiling water.
98.Disregard last note. Was written by Voice #7.
99.Gullible IS written on the ceiling!
100.Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...


THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT ME UNTIL YOU READ THIS:

What color is your toothbrush?
Blue.

Name one person who made you smile today:
Liat, BFF.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
Going to school *sighs*

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
Writing/reading.

Have you ever been to a strip club?
No.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Chocolate.

What was the last thing you had to drink?
Water.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
Nope.

What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
Butter.

Do you take vitamins daily?
Yep! B12

Do you go to church every Sunday?
No, I'm Jewish but I don't go to the synagogue either.

Do you have a tan?
YUP tan as fuck.

Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Yeah! Chinese food rocks!

Do you drink your soda with a straw?
No, I pour my soda in a glass.

What did your last text message say?
"I'm coming to your house at 17:00"

What are you doing tomorrow?
Homework, test learning and assingments. (Fucking school)

Look to your left, what do you see?
A window.

What color is your watch?
I don't have a watch.

What do you think of when you hear Hawaii?
VACATION!!!!!!!!!

What is your birthstone?
I have no idea.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
I don't eat fast food.

What is your favorite number?
4

Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
My boyfriend.

Any plans for today?
Sleep...

How many states have you lived in?
1

Biggest annoyance right now?
Nothing, everyone is sleeping...

Last song listened to?
Hey Baby

Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Aarggh, I feel really stupid now.

Do you have a maid service clean your house?
No

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Slippers. Sandals/Flip flops to you Americans out there.

Are you jealous of anyone?
Not really... Except for the girls that eats like cows and never gets fat. It's so unfair!

Is anyone jealous of you?
There is this girl in my school that is jealous of me because she wants my boyfriend.

Do you love anyone?
My boyfriend, my friends, my family, my dogs... etc.

Do any of your friends have children?|
Not that I know of...

What do you usually do during the day?
Lots of things.

Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Yeah...

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Nah. it's usually a 'hi' or a 'hey' etc.

What color is your car?
Don't own one.

Do you like cats?
They are cute but I'm a dog person. I have two dogs.

Are you thinking about someone right now?
Dimitri Belikov ~Swoons~

How did you get your worst scar?
I fell into an empty pool.


Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch some marajiwana Jack got high and dropped his fly and said do you wanna Jill said yes and dropped her dress and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot her pill and then they had a son.


Sex is a sensation
Caused by temptation
When a guy sticks his location
Into a girls destination
To increase population
For the next generation
Do you get my explanation
Or do you need a demonstration?


Kiss on the stomach--"lets have sex"
Kiss on the Forehead --"Forever you will be mine"
Kiss on the Ear --"I'm horny"
Kiss on the Cheek --"We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand --"I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck --"We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder --"I want you"
Kiss on the Lips --"I love you" OR "I want you"
Holding Hands --"We can learn to love each other"
Slap on the Butt --"That's mine"
Playing with the Ear --"I can't live without you"
Holding on tight --"Don't let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes --"Don't leave me"
Playing with Hair on Head --"Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist --"I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing --"I am completely comfortable with you


You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
You write fanfictions about the book.
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.
You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.(Example: "We heard you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you would share.") (Not Twilight. I have the tendency to quote Vampire Academy like "Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time.")
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.
You've got a book memorized.
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. I finished each of VA book in a day, and the fifth HP book in two days.)
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.
You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
You check your mouth every morning in the mirror to see if you've growen fangs and can join the Vampire Academy.
You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you sparkle.
You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf.
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
Your idol is a character from a book.


Boredm Busters

1. Try not to think about penguins.
2. Make prank calls
3. Look up a really hot celb on the web and drool over them
4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday.
5. Atempt knitting.
6. Write a list of boredm busters.
7. Listen to Bugy Malone's "My name is Talluah"
8. Look up Norman Bates
9. Email gradma
10. Update your blog.
11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy.
12. Eat 6 spoons of suger and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me.
13. Think of something funny your BFF said the otehr day.
14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960
15. Drool over Ben Barnes.
16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes.
17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right.
18. Try to imatate the bitch in your english class.
19. Try to immate Talluah
20. Write your aduiobigriphay about yourself
21. Write an emaressing bio about your BFF
22. Compare you and your BFF to Lissa and Rose.
23. Read the lust charm sence in Vampire Academy.
24. Stare at someone in your house.
25. Stare at your cat.
26. Change clothes.
27. Take a shower.
28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea.
29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut
30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours.
31. Let your dog chase after a car
32. Let him catch it
33. Read the cabin scene in Shadow Kissed.
34. Imagine that Dimitri Bekikov is your boyfriend.


I messed up of my teenage life...

kissed someone before dating
gotten a phone taken away at school
gotten suspended
gotten caught chewing gum
gotten caught cheating on a test (I didn't get caught)
arrived late to class more than 5 times
didn't do homework over 5 times(i never do homework, i always tell the teacher HOLD ON IM STILL LOOKING FOR IT!!!)
turned at least 3 projects in late
missed school just because you felt like it
sighed so loud you got kicked out of class
got your mom, dad, etc to get you out of school
text people during class
passed notes
threw stuff across the room
broke the dress code
took pictures during school hours
called someone during school hours
listened to iPod,CD, etc during school hours
threw something at the teacher
went outside the classroom without permission
almost failed a class
ate food during class(my teacher got mad, and it was baked hot cheetos, and other stuff, like candy,not at te same time tho!!... that would be weird)
gotten a call from school
couldn't go on a field trip or dance cause you behaved badly
didn't take your stuff to school
given a teacher the finger when they werent looking
faked your parents signature
slept in class
cussed at your teacher
copied homework
got in trouble with the principle/vice principle

Multiply by 3

Total- 66


╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been Pinned
║╔╗║╔═╣╔╗║ with Obsessive Cullen
║╚╝║╚═╣╚╝║ Disorder put this on
╚══╩══╩══╝ profile if you've caught it!

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Fallen Angel by Edwardsfallenangel reviews
After being bullied by the Cullen's and Hale's for years Bella leaves and becomes a famous model. But now shes back, what will the group think of what they think is the new girl and what will Edward think of her payback. AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 29 - Words: 61,231 - Reviews: 2962 - Favs: 2,137 - Follows: 1,804 - Updated: 3/21/2013 - Published: 5/6/2009
The Switch by CheekyAlice reviews
Staring back at me was a dirty blonde haired boy with dark brown eyes. I blinked, he blinked. I raised a hand, he raised a hand. I don't understand. Isn't this a mirror? R&R for me? This story involves body switching...and romance! :D
Clique - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 19,478 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 4/12/2012 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Massie B., Derrington - Complete
Suspicion: Ariana's Return by Trinity-Royelle reviews
Reed assumes Senior Year will be nothing like her past years at Easton, but her whole world turns upside-down when Ariana is found innocent and returns to Easton. Reed is left with many questions. Who really killed Thomas Pearson?
Private - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 4,123 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 1/18/2012 - Published: 3/15/2009
A Scandalous Life by dancerx3d reviews
Boy drama, billings drama, girl drama what more is there? Well you know the answer to that...A LOT! What happens at the end of Suspicion? What will happen in Scandal? R/J R/S. Who will Reed choose and who is she meant to be with.
Private - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 29 - Words: 79,415 - Reviews: 81 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 12/15/2011 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Complete
Shop Woman by Zhivago3 reviews
A glimpse of her in a corset was all it took to capture his imagination. Will he act on impulse or keep her a mere fantasy? Entry for Curvaceous and Bodacious contest... CONTINUED!
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 40,746 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 125 - Updated: 8/10/2011 - Published: 4/4/2011 - Rosalie, Emmett - Complete
The Only Exception: Planning by Sidney Ella Ford reviews
Fourth installment of The Only Exception series. Embry and Leah have been busy since Christmas, and they're only getting busier. With wedding and home plans, their couple time is decreasing, and it's causing a lot of frusteration for the two. R&R
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,190 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 8/3/2011 - Published: 6/27/2011 - Embry, Leah - Complete
Suspicion by Privateserieslvr reviews
Winter breaks over. Easton is back in session. Josh and Reed are back together, and will plan on staying this way for a long time. But when it comes to Easton and Reed Brennan, there is always something up...
Private - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 34 - Words: 91,030 - Reviews: 489 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 6/24/2011 - Published: 8/12/2009
Boy Like You by Miss.Darkstar reviews
My friends and I are losers but now we're getting all this boy attention. Girls are dying to be us while others are dying to kill us. Drama, romance, friendship, lies, and so much more. AU. Massington.
Clique - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 7 - Words: 12,461 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 5/21/2011 - Published: 9/15/2008 - Massie B., Alicia R.
Bittersweet Wishes by p e a c e-l o v e-b e l l a reviews
When Massie Block, an undercover agent, is given the mission of finding out the Harrington's secret plan, she thinks it will be a breeze. But what happens when she finds herself falling in love, betrayed by a friend, and even kidnapped?
Clique - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 14 - Words: 15,978 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 10/23/2010 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Derrington, Massie B.
Amberly: A Day in Jersey City by Glyndewar reviews
Amberly goes to Jersey City to find a lawyer to free Ariana.
Private - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 4,666 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/27/2010 - Published: 5/19/2010 - Complete
Twilight meets The CliquexPost Breaking Dawn by vanillabean.yum reviews
The Cullens move to Westchester. Nessie goes to OCD and Jake goes to Briarwood. What will the Pretty Committee do to Nessie?Will Massie declare her as an LBR? or Pretty Committee potential? SAME PAIRINGS Please Review!
Crossover - Clique & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 53 - Words: 63,434 - Reviews: 232 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 12/30/2009 - Published: 1/27/2009
Twivate by Pixidoodle reviews
What would happen if the Cullens moved to Easton and Rosalie, Bella and Alice took over Billings? This story will take place from the point of view of several different characters by the way!
Crossover - Twilight & Private - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,309 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 9/16/2009 - Published: 8/27/2009
Enigma by xMoose reviews
ALIVE: Thomas Pearson is alive. Living. Hiding. Wanting. This is for the fans who haven't gotten enough of Thomas. After moving to NYC, Thomas realizes that moving on isn't as hard as they say; it's harder, especially when someone has their eyes on you.
Private - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Mystery - Chapters: 10 - Words: 22,097 - Reviews: 146 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 9/7/2009 - Published: 4/14/2009
Suspicion: Senior Year by PoisonedIvoryPen reviews
Reed's social status is back to where all the drama started. President Of Billings. But this time,Josh wont be there to rescue her.And now Reed has to spend senior year, alone. But not for long,a unexpected guess is coming and may just shake things up.
Private - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 74,825 - Reviews: 392 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 7/1/2009 - Published: 2/13/2009 - Complete
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He's Alive reviews
What if Thomas wasn't really dead?Reed's life, like always, goes terribly wrong, or right depending who you are. Thomas Pearson, the previous love of her life shows up, fully alive and healthy, to some extent. A new girl shows up, also. What will happen?
Private - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,057 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 5/28/2011 - Published: 3/13/2011
Which Clique will win the war? reviews
AU. Massie, Claire, Kristen, and Dylan are new to BOCD. They try to take the rival clique's boys, status, and popularity. Which clique can stay together and win the top spot? Lotsa drama, fun, and relatinships. Rated T for swearing that may occur.
Clique - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,859 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/20/2011
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