Name: MissAshlynx is my pen name (obviously) and my real name is Ashlyn
Pottermore: DreamDraconis29915 add me; I'll add you.
What I write: Mostly fiction/myth/history stuff. Greek mythology, Percy Jackson, The Hunger Games, Glee, Harry Potter, etc.
What I read: Basically all of the above plus some Twilight.
Go here for outfits for A Thousand Years.
Go herefor outfits for TGWL.
Go here for outfits for Begin Again; which hasn't been posted as of 12/28/2012 at 3:45 CST.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLOND, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm Austrian, so I must be exactly like Hitler and think like a Nazi
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil (So I’ve been told)
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I write Fanfics, so I MUST be a freak
In Remembrance to Severus Snape,
A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor,
In Remembrance to Fred Weasley,
Who fought bravely to the very end,
And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half,
And will loyally await his soul mate and brother,
With many jokes,
He's got forever to think of them, right?
In Remembrance to Dobby,
Who was more free and full of love,
Than any elf, and most humans.
In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin,
The last real Marauder,
Who was not just a wonderful father,
An incredible husband and a brave hero,
As well as an awesome warewolf,
In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks,
Who died for the greater good,
And would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora,
In Remembrance to Alastair 'Mad Eye' Moody,
Who's motto 'Constance Vigilance' kept him alive,
In Remembrance to Tom Marvolo Riddle, A.K.A Voldemort,
Who was pretty cool and cute when he was younger,
But who got his ass kicked thoroughly in the end,
In Remembrance to Albus Dumbledore,
Whose past and wisdom confused us,
Whose seeming betrayal shocked us,
But who actually turned out to be an okay guy in the end,
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange,
Because it was awesome how Molly Weasley got her with the Avada Kedavra,
She deserved everything she got in the end,
In Remembrance to Colin Creevey,
Who we really didn't know too well,
But took a lot of pictures and died fighting in the war,
So he must've done something good...
Besides stalking Harry,
In Remembrance to Hedwig,
Harry's first real friend,
Who lived and died soaring.
YOUR REAL NAME:
YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 4 letters of real name plus izzle)
YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal)
YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (your 2nd fave color and fave drink)
YOUR ARABIC NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, 1st letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of you mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter letter of a siblings name and last letter of your middle name)
YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (Parents middle names)
YOUR GOTH NAME: (black and the name of one of your pets)
10 Commandments of a Teenager
1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from Debenhams.
(Primark has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)
If your profile is way too long, copy and paste this into it to make it longer!
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
to the top
of the tree
Okay, so I'm not a major Harry Potter fan but I like it pretty well and this cracked me up so I just had to put it in my profile! Read on:
25 THINGS (PLUS 1) I MUST NOT DO AT HOGWARTS AGAIN:
1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office.
2. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise.
3. He is NOT Gollum either.
4. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class.
5. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin.
6. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow.
7. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar.
8. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk.
9. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
10. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defence against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept.
11. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus.
12. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks.
13. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom.
14. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”.
15. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production.
16. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonagall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”.
17. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it.
18. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0" is not a valid T-shirt slogan.
19. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters.
20. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony."
21. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonagall’s office. (scratch office, leave it on her desk!?)
22. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween.
23. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling.
24. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas.
25. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”.
26.I will NOT tell Draco Malfoy to 'make like a ferret and bounce'
Things I'm NOT Allowed to do at camp Halfblood: (thought of and published by TasteTheRainbow32)
1. I will not hug Mr. D., nor will I come into personal contact with him, whatsoever.
2. Telling campers ‘save a Pegasus ride a demi-god’ is not funny, just very dirty.
3. Telling campers ‘save a demi-god, ride a centaur’ is not permitted, and Chiron will most likely kill me.
4. Singing “Like a Virgin” in front of the hunters is not funny, no matter how many people laugh.
5. I will not give Luke a hug, no matter how much he needs one.
6. I will not sing “Hey Hade’s, you’re so Fine”, ever.
7. Referring to Mr. D. as the drunken fat guy is not permitted, and will also get me turned into a grape.
8. I will not braid Chiron’s tail and call him my pretty pony.
9. I will not ask Chiron for boxers or briefs, because he obviously doesn’t wear underwear.
10. I will not point out the fact that Chiron doesn’t wear underwear.
11. I will not ask Chiron if horses do it better.
12. I will not sing “You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals, so let’s do it like they do it on Discovery Channel” to Chiron.
13. Calling Kronos a meanie-but will get me killed, and isn’t a smart idea.
14. Grover does not need to shave his legs, and I will stop saying so.
15. Juniper is not cheating on Grover with all the tree huggers at camp.
16. I will not tell Annabeth that Percy hates blondes with a fiery passion from the bottom of his heart. It’s just plain mean.
17. The goods are not bimbos or jingaloes.
18. Calling the gods sexy beasts might make them feel better, but is not permitted.
19. I will not yell out that Kronos is coming and watch every one freak out.
20. I will not tell the Aphrodite girls that Clarisse says she’s prettier than them.
21. I will not aim for the satyrs during archery.
22. I will not make pot brownies and sell them to the campers, because an A.D.H.D. kid on marijuana is just a mess.
23. Singing the Mission Impossible theme song for every quest I go on just gets annoying.
24. Correcting Annabeth is a bad idea.
25. Dumping glitter on Mr. D. and taping a note to his back that says ‘I feel pretty’, then blaming it on Percy is not permitted.
26. Telling all the gods their attack and defense points is annoying.
27. I will not dress up as a hellhound for Halloween and run around jumping on every one.
28. I will not make fun of Artemis because she looks twelve.
29. I will not steal Percy’s Minotaur horn, tape it to my forehead, and run around saying I’m a unicorn.
30. I will not start dancing on the table in the dining hall singing “La Vie Boehme” from Rent.
31. Using Annabeth’s invisible Yankee cap to give people wedgies is not permitted.
32. Travis and Cole are not ‘butt-buddies’.
33. Making enemies with the gods is a bad idea, even if it is fun.
34. Asking Rachael what the answers to the SAT are is cheating, and not permitted.
35. I will not give energy drinks to any of the campers.
36. I will not feed Grover my enemies’ clothes.
37. Percy’s nickname is not Shark Boy.
38. Despite Annabeth’s temper, her nickname is not Lava Girl.
39. Singing “Strawberry Fields Forever” in the strawberry patches gets annoying after a while.
40. I will not jump on Chiron and yell ‘Giddy up!’
Things I won't do Harry Potter #2
1-I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees"
2-No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.
3-Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
4-"I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
5-I am not allowed to attempt to breed a liger.
6-I will not go to class skyclad.
7-The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8-I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
9-I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
10-Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common room is not.
11-If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
12-House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13-Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14-I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubricant.
15-Adding the name "Bueller" to Professor Binns' roster is not funny.
16-"Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.
17-Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
18-I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
19-I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20-The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror."
21-It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "Once you go Black, you never go back."
22-I will not call Lucius Malfoy "Jareth".
23-I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24-I am not to refer to the Potions classroom as "Kitchen Stadium".
25-I will not tell Ron and Hermione to "Get a room" whenever they start to fight.
26-The Forbidden Forest is forbidden for a reason.
27-I am not a tribble Animagus.
28-I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha.
29-I do not weigh the same as a duck.
30-Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31-Sirius Black is not #24601.
32-I will not lick Trevor.
33-I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34-I am not being repressed.
35-Calling Lucius Malfoy "Luscious Mouthful" is just plain gross.
36-I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty".
37-There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38-I am not a Pinball Wizard.
39-Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.
40-I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41-I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42-It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43-It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44-Sir Cadogan is not one of the knights who say "NI".
45-I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46-I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47-I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48-I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"
49-There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.
50-I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."
23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about Justice
"When you have kids i hope they turn out just like you"
Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,
Calling me STUPID won't make you SMART,
Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,
Calling me UGLY won't make you PRETTY,
Calling me POOR won't make you RICH,
Calling me FAT wont make you SKINNY,
Calling me UNCOOL wont make you COOL,
So why bother?