Poll: Which story would you want me to write next? It would be started around Christmas/ New Year's. Vote Now!
Author has written 26 stories for Maximum Ride, Lord of the Rings, Avengers, Hobbit, and Supernatural.
Hey! I'm 'It's Fnicking Awesomeness', but you can call me B. I'm a beta reader, so request away!
I go to highschool, speak French and German, dance in poms, and run track from November to August (triple, long, and high jump; pole vault; and short hurdles and sprints). I have two younger brothers, a younger sister, four cats, and a dog. I love reading, and I'm a straight A student. Future Australian organ transplant surgeon. Cause Australia is the best place. Ever. End of discussion. I'm Australian... in every way but blood. I have long light brown/blondish hair and blue eyes, I am 5'3", 115 lbs, and very muscular (biceps, tricep fingers, abs, you name it).
My sister, who occasionally will write stories on here also, goes to middle school; is good at art; plays basketball and softball; and does recreational poms. She has a younger brother, an older brother, an older sister (moi), and the same four cats. She likes to read and also gets straight A's. She has long dark brown curly hair, blue eyes, and is 5'4".
I hope you like my stories... and flames are welcome but they're funny because you think I care :) And for anyone who thinks that I copied their story- I probably didn't mean it! Just PM me and I'll fix it and apologize!
I Beta for: Um... no one currently, actually :P
My Betas: None DX
Find me on: Tumblr (MR ROLEPLAY)- please-do-not-fang-bang; Tumblr (Hobbit Roleplay)- the-one-and-only-kili; Tumblr (main)- itsfnickingawesomeness; Tumblr (Thor Roleplay)- odin-says-huargh; Twitter- FnickingAwesome; Facebook- It's Fnicking Awesomeness; Skype- ijump4life; AIM- tigergirlbt; AOL- firstname.lastname@example.org; Gmail- email@example.com; Hotmail- firstname.lastname@example.org; GMX- email@example.com; Comcast- firstname.lastname@example.org; Pirates of the Carribean Online- Liz Hexrage; Polyvore- it'sfnickingawesomeness; Neopets (don't ask)- bdbm4444; Club Penguin (again, don't ask)- Jr Olympian; Webkinz (good luck finding me playing)- MISSMD
Favorite Books: Maximum Ride series, The Chronicles of Nick, Harry Potter series, Warriors series (Erin Hunter), The Clique series, The A-list series, Gossip Girl series, The It-girl series, Fear Street series, Goosebumps, Percy Jackson series, House of Night series, A Series of Unfortunate Events, Lord of the Rings series, Uglies/Pretties/Specials/Extras, Narnia series, Stephen King's books, Laura Ingalls Wilder's series, The Inheritance Cycle, Game of Thrones
Favorite Foods: Tilapia, Crab, Hush Puppies, Wheat Thins, Cheddar Cheese, Pepperoni, Raisinets, Almond Joys, Dove Chocolate, Chocolate w/almonds, White Pizza, Pigs in a blanket, Paydays, Cranberry juice, OJ, Steak, Peaches, Strawberries, Whipped Cream, Carrots, Sweet and Sour Chicken, Burgers, Fries, Mac and Cheese, French Bread Pizza, Mozzerella Sticks, Chicken Ramen Noodles, Chicken Tenders, Sprite, Fanta, Pudding
Favorite Animals: Tigers, Cats, Platypuses, Monkeys, Dolphins, Rabbits, Wolves
Favorite Music: LMFAO, Rihanna, Ke$ha, P!nk, Nikki Minaj, 3 oh! 3, Black Eyed Peas, Benny Bannassai, Daft Punk, Skrillex, Adele, Deadmau5, ACDC, Guns N Roses, Rise Against, Muse, Linkin Park, Shinedown, Disturbed, Korn, Knife Party
Other Favorites: Both: Writing, reading, animals, traveling, roller coasters, beaches, traveling, swimming B: Running, French, Australia Sister: Biting, killing, stabbing, punching, kicking, pinching, flicking, shanking, shooting, maiming, decapitating, biting some more, drawing.
Favorite TV Shows: Lost, Heroes, Desperate Housewives, Hell's Kitchen, House, Untold Stories of the ER, TruTV Presents Word's Dumbest..., America's Got Talent, South Park, Family Guy, Chowder, SpongeBob SquarePants, Beavis and Butthead, Victorious, 1000 Ways to Die, Doctor Who, Sherlock, Supernatural, Being Human (BBC)
Favorite YouTubes: Smosh videos, IDEK videos, Crazy Stick Figure Randomness videos, The Stereotype Song, Tig Ol Bitties, Nyan Cat, Charlie the Unicorn, End of Ze World, Funny Green Llama, They're Taking the Hobbits to Isengard, Techno Viking- This is Sparta, Kids React videos, Oh Oh Oh Sexy Vampire, Dick Figures videos, Happy Tree Friends videos, Epic Meal Time videos, Yo Mama videos, Ray William Johnson videos, Orphan Tears, Epic Rap Battles of History videos, Top 300 memes in under 40 minutes, You Just Got Loki'd, Prince Loki
Favorite Movies: Thor, Avengers, Iron Man, Hunger Games, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings/Hobbit, Indiana Jones, Billy Madison, The Mask, Happy Gilmore, Click, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Dance Flick, Scary Movie, Lion King, Despicable Me, Liar Liar, Mean Girls, Saw, Forest Gump, Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Nightmare Before Christmas
"This usually works..." "Well, you know, performance issues..."-Loki and Stark, Avengers
"ENOUGH! I am a god, you are all of you beneath me! I will not be bullied by-" *HULK SMASH* "Puny god."- Loki and Hulk- Avengers
"Take care how you speak... he is still a citizen of Asgard, and my brother." "He killed 80 people in two days." "He's adopted."-Thor and Black Widow- Avengers
"Yea, but given that it's a stupid ass decision, I've elected to ignore it."-Fury-Avengers
"Now listen well brother-" *gets body slammed* "...I'm listening."-Thor and Loki-Avengers
Hulk punches Thor across the street*-Avengers
"And Hulk... smash."- Captain America-Avengers
"What, scared of a little thunder?" "I'm not overly fond of what follows."-Captain America and Loki-Avengers
"Please tell me nobody kissed me."-IronMan-Avengers
"If it's all the same to you. I think I'll take that drink now."-Loki-Avengers
"Yea dude, we can tell you're hammered."-Darcy-Thor
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to destroy the Jotunnheimr."-Loki-Thor
"And sometimes I may be jealous... but I love you... Now give us a kiss."-Loki-Thor (deleted scene)
"I was being sincere." "You are incapable of sincerity." "Am I?"-Loki and Thor-Thor (deleted scene)
"Loki: Am I cursed? Odin: No. Loki: What am I? Odin: You're my son. Loki: What more than that? [he walks towards Odin]The casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it? Odin: No. In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giants offspring. Abandoned. Suffering. Left to die. Laufey's son. Loki: Laufey's son? Odin: Yes. Loki: Why? You were knee deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me? Odin: You were an innocent child. Loki: No! You took me for a purpose. What was it? [Odin does not reply] Tell me!! Odin: I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance. Bring about permanent peace, through you. Loki: What? Odin: But those plans no longer matter. Loki: So, I'm no more than another stolen relic? Locked up, here, until you might have use of me! Odin: Why do you twist my words? Loki: You could have told me what I was, from the beginning! Why didn't you? Odin: You're my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth. Loki: What? Because I...I...I...I'm the monster that parents tell their children about at night? Odin: No! No! Loki: It all makes sense now. Why you favored Thor, all these years! Because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on your throne of Asgard!" (this whole scene breaks my heart :( Poor baby D:)
"I could have done it, Father. For all of us!" "No, Loki." *heart breaks* *drops from bifrost*-Loki and Odin-Thor (MY FEELS HURT JUST TYPING THIS T.T)
"You are no match for the might power of- *falls unconcious*"-Thor-Thor
"I need a horse" "We don't have horses. Just dogs, cats, birds." "Then give me one of those large enough to ride."-Thor and pet store clerk-Thor
"No! No, no, no, no, no! I know that look!"-Loki-Thor
"Run back home, little princess." "Damn."- Frost Giant Lord and Loki-Thor
"Whoa, does he need CPR? Cause I totally know CPR."-Darcy-Thor
"You dare threaten me, Thor! With so puny-" *shoots him with taser* "What? He was freaking me out!"- Thor and Darcy-Thor
"Until she hit him with her car." "I grazed him. But she tasered him." "Yes, I did."-Darcy and Jane-Thor
""I never wanted the throne! I only ever wanted to be your equal!"-Loki-Thor
"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE
"Man, you weigh a freaking ton! What have you been eating, rocks?" "Why, is your head missing some?" –Max and Fang-MR-TAE
That was the funniest thing I'd heard in days. "You're kidding, right? Please tell me you have a stronger motive for me than 'fair is fair.' Life isn't fair, Dean...Nothing is fair, ever. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. I need to help you because fair is fair? Try, 'I need you to help me so I won't rip out your spine and beat you with it.' I might respond to that. Maybe."–Max-MR-SOF (my fav quote in the whooole series)
"What I said yesterday didn't mean anything! I love everyone in the flock! Plus, it was the Valium talking!" "Uh-huh. You just keep telling yourself that. You looove me." (tries to punch him) "Pick a tree. I'll go carve our initials in it." (screams and runs into bathroom)- Max and Fang-MR-STWAOES
"Jackpot, Max! Jackpot!" It was Fang and he was giggling hysterically. For those of you just joining us, Fang doesn't giggle, especially hysterically.-Max-MR-FANG
"Tell me again what we're doing here," I said, running a continuous scan of our surroundings. Fang popped some Cracker Jack into his mouth. "We're here to watch manly men do manly things." I followed Fang's line of sight: He was watching the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, who were not doing manly things, by any stretch of the imagination.-Max and Fang-MR-STWAOES
"But if you think I'm going to let you give up on us now, you've got another think coming. Yes, you're a blind mutant freak, but you're my blind mutant freak, and you're coming with me, now, you're coming with us right now, or I swear I will kick your skinny white ass from here to the middle of next week. Iggy raised his head. Flashes of light told me that the cops were almost on top of us. "Iggy, I need you," I said urgently. "I love you. I need all of you, all five of you, to feel whole myself. Now get up, before I kill you." Iggy stood. "Well, when you put it that way..."- Max and Iggy-MR-SOF
Fang grins, "You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much."-Fang-MR-STWAOES
"What about me?" (stands still) "No, you're visible." "Am not!" (throws a pinecone at him) "Could I do that if I wouldn't see you?"-Max and Iggy-MR-TFW
"No," my mom replied, trying to keep a straight face. "She's cooking." Quick, alarmed glances were exchanged among the flock. "Cooking...food?" Nudge asked. I heard someone murmer something about ordering a pizza. -Mrs.Martinez-MR-MAX
"Can I come in?" No! I'm in a towel!" "I'm blind!"-Max and Iggy-MR-SOF
"Fang! Come Back!" I started pulling his hair. Shaking his head and shoulders. Hard. "Wake up! Snap out of it! You stupid jerk! I am going to kill you if you die on me!"-Max-MR-FANG
"Hey what’s taking you so long? What are you doing, shaving your mustache?" "I don’t have a mustache you idiot, and neither do you. Maybe, in a few years, we can always hope" - Iggy and Max-MR-STWAOES
"Okay guys, I had a couple thoughts I wanted to go over with you." (pretends to snore loudly) (throws another pinecone at him) "Quit throwing things at me!"- Max and Iggy-MR-ATFW
"Fang, Fang, Fang. I love you. I love you this much." "Oh, jeez." -Max and Fang-MR-STWAOES
I made one of my famous snap decisions, the kind that everyone remembers later for being either the stupidest dumb-butt thing they ever saw or else the miraculous saving of the day. I seemed to hear more of the first kind. That's gratitude for you.-Max-MR-TAE
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"-Max-MR-TAE
"She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang-MR-SOF
"You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers!"- Fang-MR-SOF
Fang swerved closer to me, big and supremely graceful, like a black panther with wings. Oh, God. I'm so stupid. Forget I just said that. -Max-MAX
"I feel like pudding, Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy-AE
So there you have it, the extent of my charms: brown hair and eyes like un-barfed chocolate. I'm a lucky girl. – Max-MR
"I thought holy crap or actually much worse than holy crap, but let's just say I thought holy crap."- Max-MR
"Did you leave the flamethrowers lying around again?" "I always forget."- Max and Fang-MR
"Quit what? Breathing?"- Fang-MR-TAE
"Follow the spiders. Why couldn't it be 'follow the butterflies?'"- Ron-HP-CoS
"I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat." -Dumbledore-HP
"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." "Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git." "Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor." -The Maurader's Map-HP-PoA
"I want to fix that in my memory forever, Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."-Ron-HP-GoF
"Oi! We have a war going on here!" -Harry-HP-TDH
"Aaaah, when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born."-Ron-HP-PoA
"Give her hell from us, Peeves."-Fred and George-HP-OotP
"We could be killed, or worse, expelled." -Hermione Granger in first movie.
"Let's face it people, Voldemort can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo!" -Fred Weasly-HP-DH
"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BITCH!"-Molly Weasly-HP-DH
"So, people, let's try to calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That's a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing thats glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it's safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that's still likely to be the last thing you ever do." -Fred Weasly- Deathly Hallows
"You need people of intelligence for this sort of mission...quest...thing." "Well that counts you out, Pippin." -Pippin and Merry-LOTR-FotR
"That still only counts as one!" -Gimli-LOTR-RotK (movie)
"Mad cow! Moo! Mother f*king moo!" -Scary Movie 2
"What's your purpose in Port Royal, Mr Smith?" "Yea, and no lies!" "I confess, it is my intention to comadeer one of these ships, pick up a crew and torture rape pillage plunder and otherwise pilfer my weasley black hearts out." "I said no lies!" "I think he is telling the truth." "If he were telling the truth, he wouldn't have told us." "Unless of course he knew you wouldn't believe the truth even if he told it."- Mullroy, Murtogg, and Jack Sparrow- Pirates of the Carribean- CotBP
"Well thank you Jack." "You're welcome." "Not you, we named the monkey Jack."-Barbossa and Jack Sparrow- PotC-CotBP
"Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!" "You can eat the grass?" "Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." -Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the new one.
"Nudge, it'll be ok, and Angel, she's not dying!" Still no freaking answer! Dr. M, pick up!! "Who's dying?" Gazzy asked, coming in. "Nudge." Angel answered. "Nudge is dying?!" "Nudge is NOT dying!" "Well, that's good to know, Fang." -Fang, Nudge, Gazzy, Angel, and Dr. M from Facts of Life
"Night Quills!" He started laughing again. "Hey, Max, you and me and the cops should go yelling and see if we can wake up the Flock before the neighbors show up. Bring Spiffy and Pooky!" -Fang from Another Form of the Avian Bird Flu (I love St.’s stories!)
"I like duice. Uncle Iggy say when I was wittle, I wood drink milk fwum yo boobies." "Uncle Iggy said what?" "Huh?" Iggy called. Fang dropped his head into his hands. "You spend too much time with Uncle Iggy." I said. -Evan and Max from "Viva La Vida Loca" by Mz. Random Awesomeness
"Didn't Uncle Iggy potty train you yet?" I asked. "Yeah," he said. "Then why is that all on the floor?" I pointed to the toilet. You don't want to know what's on there. "I missed." I rolled my eyes and walked out. This is disgusting. Fang was walking down the hallway and saw my expression with Evan following me. "What happened?" he asked. "Ask your son." I said. "Dude, what'd you do?" It took him a second to answer. "I missed." He said in barely a whisper. "Again?" He nodded. "I think Uncle Iggy is a bad teacher."- Max, Evan, and Fang from "Viva La Vida Loca" by Mz. Random Awesomeness
"I swear to drunk I'm not God!" –St. Fang of Boredom
Customer: Can you tell me where the produce section is? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me where the bathrooms are? Fang: -shrugs- Customer: Can you tell me anything? Fang: -shrugs- -Fang and a Wal-Mart customer in Job Listings
"Silence! I kill you!" -Achmed
"God Damnit! Oh! Oh! I mean Allah Damnit." –Achmed
"Two Jews walk into a bar-" "No, no no!" "What, you don't let Jews in your bars? You racist bastard!" "No, I mean I don't want racist jokes in my act!" "Oh, ok. How about I kill the Jews?" "No!" "No, no, I will not kill the Jews. I will throw a penny at them and watch them fight to the death! I did the same with two Catholic priests, only I threw in a small boy. And the winner had to fight Micheal Jackson!"- Achmed
"Anthony has decided to forfit this round, because he is a pansy." -Ian-Smosh- Food Battle 2006
"My son is a idiot." -Ian's mom- Smosh- Anthony's Death
"Dude, what the f*ck? This thing just gave me f*cking boobs!" -Anthony-Smohs-My Magical Tapeworm
"YOU ACTUALLY DID IT, YOU B*STARD! AAAAAHHHHH!"- Anthony- Smosh- Playing with Guns
"ROBBIE YOU SHUT THE F*CK UP BEFORE I POOP YOU OUT!"-Ian-Smosh- My Magical Tapeworm
"Especially when these idiots piss in them. Like that’s real funny!"-Ian-Smosh-My Dirty Bathroom Secret
"*walks in naked* 'Huh, how do you like it, huh?' 'Ah, god dude, put some clothes on!' *holds up hands to face* *humping air* You put on some clothes!'-Anthony and Ian-Smosh- I'm Naked
"It tastes like... crazy rainbow alcohol pig." -Muscles Glasses- EpicMealTime- Chili Four Loko
"Oh, somebody f*cked up."- Harley- EpicMealTime-Meat Building 101
"F*CK SALAD!"-Harley- EpicMealTime-Meat Salad
"Straight from the mother t*t of maple syrup. We drained her of all her t*t juice."- Harley- EpicMealTime- Breakfast of Booze
"Boo, you whore."- Regina-Mean Girls
[delivering candy canes] "Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy" Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?" "It's Cady." "Oh Cady, here you go, one for you... And none for Gretchen Wieners, bye." -Damian and Cady- MG
[seeing all the girls fighting] "Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!" [hits fire alarm with a baseball bat] -Principal-MG
"If you're from Africa, why are you white?" "Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white."- Karen and Gretchen-MG
"It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain." "Really? That's amazing." "Well... they can tell when it's raining."-Karen and Cady-MG
"[to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash. [to Regina] God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on *that*! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!"- Janis-MG
[voiceover] And if any freshmen tried to disturb that peace, well, let's just say we knew how to take care of it. [Imagines Junior Plastics being hit by a bus] [voiceover] Just kidding.-Cady-MG
"I leave in a huff!" -Blue robot in Disney's Robots (lol I use this like every flippin day of my life)
“But you can’t buy happiness,” I said. “That’s not necessarily true,” Iggy interrupted. “I once met a very nice stripper named Happiness.” -Fang and Iggy in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.
Then, he said loudly, “How about you give me a blow?” But Max didn’t miss a beat. “Sorry,” she said. “I choke on small objects.” -The 'Creepy Pedophile Guy' and Max in Diary of a Lovesick Mutant by Phoenix Fanatic.
"No! This is Patrick!"-Patrick-SbSp
"He's got him in a half nelson... he's got him in a full nelson... oh my gosh he's beating him with Bobby Nelson!- Phineas-PandF
“I will beat you!”-Mr. Barnette, math teacher
“Get that corn outta my face!”- Mr. Barnette
“Mr. B, what’s a parabola?” “Sometimes, in the summer, kangaroos lie in the shade and lick themselves to stay cool.”- Mr. Barnette and a confused student
“You need to stop this madness! You need to eat!” “I can’t, I can’t do it!” *throws tissue box* - Mr. Barnette and another student in an anorexia skit
"*messes up hair* My name is Jesse, and I sleep on the floor." -Brannon on the Quebec trip
Oh no! My grilled cheese is on fire! I'll put it out with this cowby hat on my counter.- A text I sent one day.
“You’re vertically challenged.” –Mr. Furajter, life skills teacher
“I love those fat Americans, you know they so obnoxious. They always eatin’ burgers, they always holdin’ shotguns.”- The Stereotype Song on YouTube (I actually love the whole song, so I won’t bother putting on individual quotes).
“Close only counts in horseshoes… and hand grenades.”- Don’t remember where I heard this… but so true!
"I'm just not into guys." "Oh... ok." "Wait. That sounded gay. I'm not gay. I'm just not into dating right now!" "Ok." -Me and my friend Sierra the first day we met.
"Whenever I eat something crunchy, I feel like a carrot. I mean bunny."- Me while eating a carrot
"Jackie, get on the floor and take your pants off."- Jackie's mom in a variety show we did
Kids are the future. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Never do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedics
I believe 'die bitch' conveys my feelings properly
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
It takes 48 muscles to frown but only 14 to flip some one off.
It takes 48 muscles to frown, but only 4 to reach out and b*tch slap that mother f*cker in the face.
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Colin.
Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I am proven horribly wrong.
Every fight is a food fight when you’re a cannibal.
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. (Why do all the good jokes have to be so funny, yet so wrong?)
When Life gives you lemons, squirt them in Life's eye, and see how much Life likes lemons then.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”?..
I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again.
When life gives you lemons, throw them in life’s face, they're probably poisoned.
When life gives you lemons, unless they hand you some water and sugar, your lemonade's gonna suck.
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...
Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever... you just keep on talking
Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, Who the hell drank half of my soda.
Sometimes, I just stare up at the stars, and think... "Where the hell is my roof?!"
When life gives you lemons, freeze them and throw them at stupid people
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, *sshole.
Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
Fan-Fiction: Because sometimes the author screws up, and things need to be fixed.
Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
You Might Be An Author If...
1. X Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.
20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.
21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.
22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it.
23. X When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas.
24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.
26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.
27. X You dream about your stories.
You Know You're a Book Addict If:
X You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.