Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter.
Here's my entire being in one short sentence: I'm kinda fucked up and I revel in it. I take nothing seriously but I speak as if I took everything seriously. As such, I worry about nothing constantly and I know it. Doesn't stop me from worrying, though.
I will write stories just to fuck with people--use the pairings they find most disturbing and make a ludicrous story. I'm a pro at crackfic. The really demented kind. Like really seriously demented.
If I have thoroughly confused you, then I have accomplished my goal. Even though I have no goals and really don't give a damn. I apparently have morals, though. Huh.
I found this on Selene_the_Slytherin's profile, thought it was hilarious and took a stab at it.
List your top twelve favorite Harry Potter characters in no particular order.
1. Draco Malfoy
2. Severus Snape
3. Lord Voldemort
4. Ron Weasley
5. Fred Weasley
6. George Weasley
7. Luna Lovegood
8. Lavender Brown
9. Bellatrix Lestrange
10.James Potter I
01.) Have you ever read a Six/Seven Fanfic before?
No I have not. Though it seems to be one the typical pairings. It just never occurred to me to stick them together.
02.) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
I wouldn’t call it hot exactly. More like adorable and quite fit. B)
03.)What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
I would die of shock. The thought of Neville getting anyone pregnant is kind of mind-blowing. I mean, yeah, 7th year was great for him but, er, not great enough to get past his looks.
04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?
Only one. It was a crackfic written in Spanish. Voldemort, el musical. It was the fucking shit—even if I did have to look up half the words on google. So worth it.
05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?
Sev/George. Fuck. I need to contemplate this a moment. Yeah, no way in Hell that’s happening. I’m not that twisted.
06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Fred/Bella or Fred/James. I can kind of see Fred/Bella happening but no way in Hell is Fred/James happening. That would give even ME nightmares. Gosh.
07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Luna walks in on Sev/Neville. She’d probably give a short apology and close the door. She might be slightly curious at the unlikely pairing but otherwise disregard the scene she just left. Honestly, if anyone were to walk in on that, they’d be lucky it was Luna.
08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.
Voldy/James. Please excuse me a moment while I laugh uncontrollably.
Alright well, I’m gonna try my best to take this pairing seriously. One-shot, taking place when Voldemort’s goes to kill the Potters. Lily’s gone to visit her sister, along with her year-old son. Voledmort enters the Potters’ home and is shocked to find none but James present. The latter tries to talk Voldemort out of killing his son and even tries some, er, unconventional means of persuasion.
You sick bastards. I kind of want to write this now. Just to shock people shitless.
09.)Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?
Draco/Lav? I find it highly unlikely. Upon checking, most of the results were in foreign languages so I’ve no idea if they’re fluffy. The English ones were all fluff.
10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.
Luna/Neville. I’m pretty sure this is canon so I’ve no clue why I can’t come up with anything. Perhaps “The Cure?”
11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?
Ron/Draco. I’m pretty sure some Felix Felicis would be involved. Maybe an imperious charm, too. And a shitload of firewhisky.
12.) Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Luna slash. Sounds hot. I’m pretty sure I’m the only I know that would read something like that.
13.) Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Voldy? I can say with certainty that none of them do. Me? I’ve looked fruitlessly on multiple occasions. My twisted imagination will just have to do for now, though.
14.) Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Molly. Well, as all my hp friends are slash-crazed twits, no.
15.) Would anyone you know write Two/Four/Five?
Sev/Ron/Fred. My eyes are already burning. No way in fuck. I might do it on a dare, though.
16.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
James? Fuck I’m bad at predicting what James would do in any situation. Errr. “Take that Snivellus!” Yep, I’m that bad.
17.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?
Lavender. The possibilities are endless. I think I’d go with “Fever” by Adam Lambert because my brain is kinda dying right now.
18.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?
Draco/George/Neville. Not for the weak of mind.
19.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?
James/Sev. I don’t think any pick-up line would work. Hardy manipulation, more like.
20.) When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
Fred? Hmm. Never. Ha!
21.) What is Six's super-secret kink?
George? I shall contemplate this when I’m not so brain-dead.
22.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
Molly/Bella. Only if the world were ending. Actually no, not even then.
23.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?
Voldy/Luna. I love you sick bastards. I’ll say Luna, just because she’d probably get crushed otherwise.
24.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
Draco and Bella are in a happy relationship until Bella suddenly runs off with Ron. Draco, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Molly and a brief unhappy affair with Neville, then follows the wise advice of Fred and finds true love with Voldemort.
“Draco Experiments with Hallucinogens.”
Me, myself and I.
I’ll marry the person crazy enough to write it.
25.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
Luna/Lav. Hmm. I'd feel extremely sorry for Luna. (LOL. I forgot to do this one before.)
(4/3) Since I'm bored and will be spending a lot of time by myself this week, I shall take it as a personal challenge to make all the pairings above come true. I'll even do #24, if time allots. I shall dub this challenge "24 Stories: 1 Week." Wonder if I'll get it all done by then--what with my classwork and such. If not, I shall rename it "24 Stories: 1 Month!" Let's see if I submit to laziness instead.
(4/5) I have just learned about Re-Fredding Day! May 9th! I'm going to try for a story separate from my challenge to do for this wonderous holiday. Why? Even though #24 includes Fred, he's not a very big part of the story. Just a little blurb of advice for Malfoy. I s'pose I could draw it out though... Make Fred's ghost more of a persistent thing. Make it even more Hamlet-y.
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