Grammar Defender
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Poll: Which of these is the best title for a YA fantasy book? Vote Now!
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Joined 03-09-11, id: 2783389, Profile Updated: 03-29-15
Author has written 19 stories for Mysterious Benedict Society series, Parodies and Spoofs, Harry Potter, and Moby Dick.

Hello there! I am Grammar Defender, battling bravely, fighting fearsomely, and generally resisting the evil force of text-talk that has been oppressing the English language for so long. I tend to be long-winded and excessively verbose, a fault for which I apologize. (Eh, who am I kidding - apology retracted.)

Newsflash - School is my life. Fanfiction is not. This may change. I hope it does. It likely will not change soon, though. I am sorry.

I will not flame. If I hate, loathe, and despise a story enough to flame it, I simply won't review it at all. If I don't review your story, however, it does not mean that I hate it. It more likely means that I just didn't review. Also, I will never ever swear in my reviews. If that pesky serial flamer publishes a swear in a review in my name, you'll know it wasn't me.


It's a boat. My boat, as it happens.

My Poll -

I talked with an editor about my novel the other day, and she says I should think about changing the title. Well, I've narrowed it down to those choices and now it's up to you. So shoo! Vote! Be free! Thank ye for your time.


I don't own Mysterious Benedict Society books or the characters. Or, for that matter, any other books (yet). I don't gain any profit from this. I just enjoy writing and sharing my ideas.

A little bit about me-

I am a seventeen-year-old girl. I enjoy reading and writing and sailing and a healthy dose of algebra in the morning. Here I am known as Grammar Defender, or occasionally Grammar. Either live in Canada or on a boat, depending on when you ask. I play the bagpipes, the trombone, the piano, and the recorder. I also sing, am head of lights on the school tech crew, and have a truly ridiculous number of extra-curriculars. I am also in the IB, a school program whose goal is basically to crush your soul and reduce you to a babbling pile of somewhat-knowledgeable mush. It is thus far succeeding.

Coming Someday But Not Necessarily Soon-

Agent Kate (Chapter 3) - HIATUS

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - (MBS) This is the story that I'm co-writing with Hopeless.

An Odd Conversation - (MBS) Well, an odd means of having a conversation, anyway. The Society takes a trip to the movie theater and end up exploring Constance's continuously evolving powers. I am determined to make this one cheerful.

The Life and Times of Martina Crowe - (MBS) An opportunity to try a new style of writing, as well as to discover who Martina Crowe is. Because, dear reader, not all are as cold and cruel as she first appears.

Heavier than Rock - (Airborn) If Matt Cruse is lighter than air, I guess that makes me heavier than rock. Story of my life, I suppose. That's me - Bruce Lunardi; heavier than rock.

Watchers - (MBS) This is the hitherto untold tale of how Milligan, Rhonda, Number Two, and Mr. Benedict kept a constant, unfaltering lookout over Nomansan Island. A tale of danger, riddles, debates, and most importantly, bravery.

Beware the Gemini - (MBS) When Milligan fulfills the promise for which he is named and takes the Mysterious Benedict Society for a trip to the mill, the Whisperer begins whispering once more. Oh no! Ledroptha Curtain must have escaped from jail! But not all is as it appears, and the four children plus Number Two soon find themselves up against a foe that they had never in their wildest dreams expected.

Link To Latitudes (a graphic novel that I write and my sister draws):

Link to my profile on Fictionpress

Link to my profile on Camp NaNo

Link to my profile on NaNoWriMo

Updates and Stories-

I can't promise consistent updates. Who can? I have school, meals, and life. I'll generally try to update within a century of my last update, but one never knows what life will bring. I joined this website for the Mysterious Benedict Society fandom. I loved the books, and will try to keep everyone in character and in the mood. I may or may not slowly spread out and write for other fandoms, but MBS will always be the core.

So that's me. I hope that I improve this fandom, one 'lol' at a time.

Grammar Defender

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Nomansland by GreatKateZonkeyMachine reviews
If an MBS book was darker and scarier. Stonetown in winter, solving mysteries, running from Ten Men. Previously co-written with Kahlan Aisling.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,786 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 12/16/2010
Third Island by GreatKateZonkeyMachine reviews
Book three redesigned. The quartet is kidnapped, the Whisperer's computers blow up, and - best of all - you get to hear Kate's insulting rhyme used on Constance! NOTE- This is the dreaded First Fic, so for nostalgia I will keep the bad writing and sum.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 36,615 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 2/16/2012 - Published: 12/4/2009
Adventurers Beware by GreatKateZonkeyMachine reviews
Reynie, Kate, Constance, and Sticky stumble across a mysterious board game and decide to try it out... Violence.
Crossover - Jumanji & Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 12,906 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/10/2012 - Published: 1/30/2011
Insanity Rings by IncantationBella reviews
She had screamed, cried, thrashed, pounded her fists against the wall. She was willing to do anything to escape the noise, the sound, the voices, the living nightmare that had become her own mind.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Supernatural/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,100 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/24/2011 - Constance C.
Your Worst Nightmare by GreatKateZonkeyMachine reviews
Possibly the most daring thing I will ever write, for a number of reasons. Read if you dare, and only if you have a very good eye doctor. Not for the faint of heart or the easily offended.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - Punjabi - Horror/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 972 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/27/2010 - Kate W., Reynie M. - Complete
Invincible by ka has moved reviews
One of her last thoughts is the realization that she is, actually, mortal.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - English - Drama/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,694 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/24/2010 - Kate W. - Complete
Always Loved by AlmostInsanity reviews
There is more to young Constance Contraire than what meets the eye. Sure, she may seem stubborn and often upset, but perhaps what lies beneath that is finally trying to break through.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,046 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/14/2010 - Constance C., Reynie M. - Complete
A Little Interference Goes a Long Way by ka has moved reviews
Constance Contraire has discovered an unfortunate matchmaking trait, and Rhonda and Milligan have gotten in her way.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,745 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 5 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Milligan, Rhonda K. - Complete
Of the Alphabet and Boredom by Manic Pixie reviews
A child of the Big Three's first guide to the alphabet, as written by Nico, Thalia, and Percy.
Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,408 - Reviews: 265 - Favs: 661 - Follows: 127 - Published: 6/25/2010 - Nico A., Percy J. - Complete
Let it Burn by just drifting reviews
Epitaph One fic: She remembers the day he moved from his office to his sleeping pod. Topher/Adelle.
Dollhouse - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 865 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 2 - Published: 10/28/2009 - Topher B., Adelle D. - Complete
101 Things Not To Do At Hogwarts by The Fat Chipmunk reviews
Updated! The Weasley twins’ legacy has inspired some hopeful new pranksters – most of which include the socially unaware, mentally defiant, and of course, the tragically naïve. And since Filch has been denied his whipping rights…
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,775 - Reviews: 185 - Favs: 349 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 8/1/2008 - Published: 4/3/2007
A Mary Sue Alphabet by Irony-chan reviews
A's for Amanda Our hero's twin sister Got lost as a baby and Gosh, how he missed her...
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,497 - Reviews: 2772 - Favs: 6,967 - Follows: 531 - Published: 1/12/2005 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

It Wasn't Sleep reviews
He didn't notice the dark stain slowly spreading on the wall behind her. He just nattered on, happy that they were both out of danger.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,001 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/27/2013 - Kate W., Sticky W. - Complete
A Contrary Sort of Drabble reviews
A drabbley little fic centered around Constance. Complete fluff.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 657 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/20/2013 - Constance C.
Every Wand reviews
Mr. Ollivander has always said that he remembers every wand he's ever sold... Credit to my sister for the premise.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,665 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/10/2013 - G. Ollivander - Complete
The Slammer reviews
A character study of everyone's [least] favorite Ten Man: Crawlings!
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 795 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 9/27/2012 - Complete
Boggart reviews
Everybody has their own fears, and who knows them better than the Whisperer? And of course, everything - or perhaps everybody - can manipulate fears to their own purposes.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,658 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/1/2012 - Published: 2/20/2012 - Mr. Curtain
Frozen reviews
A drabbley sort of story showing snippets of Mr. Benedict's life after the books, and also how having his narcolepsy cured wasn't the best thing that could have been done. Written mainly to experiment with present tense.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,993 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 4 - Published: 12/31/2011 - Mr. Benedict - Complete
The Zombie Parodies
Several songs that I have changed rather significantly to fit the zombie apocalypse. Songs include the Java Jive, Africa, and Dancing Queen. Rated for gore and... y'know... zombies.
Parodies and Spoofs - Rated: T - English - Humor/Horror - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,347 - Published: 8/2/2011
Happily Ever After reviews
And then the Mysterious Benedict Society saved the world from the evil Ledroptha Curtain, and they all lived happily ever after... Right?
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,342 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Mr. Curtain - Complete
Happy Birthday Constance! reviews
A quick poem that I whipped up to celebrate Constance's birthday.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 471 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 7 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Constance C. - Complete
Bones and Babies reviews
Very depressing. Warnings - Depressing writing, creepy quotes, insanity, and character death. Not a light and fluffy little romance, folks. This one is truly creepy.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,720 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Kate W., Number Two - Complete
Poems and Plays reviews
A collection of poems and plays written for Milligan. I suppose that this could be for Zonkey's Type Two challenge, but I didn't think about it when I was writing. Very silly, and definitely NOT my best work ever.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,388 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 6 - Published: 4/30/2011 - Complete
Mr Curtain and the Case of the Enab's Bane reviews
Reynie Muldoon has been murdered. But by whom? And why? Sumbitted for Hopeless Romantic's 'It's Elemetary, Dear Wetherall' Challenge. Warning - Character death it being a MURDER mystery, and all .
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: T - English - Mystery - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,227 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 4/7/2011 - Kate W., Mr. Curtain - Complete
Agent Kate reviews
My first multi-chapter piece of fan fiction. Kate is an adult working as a secret agent. Her mission - to find the murderer of Ledroptha Curtain - goes slightly awry.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,025 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 4/15/2011 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Kate W.
Drabbles for the Dream Spirit reviews
Submitted for Kahlan Aisling's 'Drabbles, Drabbles Everywhere' challenge. To Kahlan,a type one drabble, to Zonkey, a type three fic. Warnings - Character death, grim plot twists, possibly out of character SQ. Enjoy!
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,341 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/7/2011 - S.Q. Pedalian, Mr. Curtain - Complete
Smile reviews
A day in the life of an Executive. The very Executive, in fact, who let the Society into the Institute on the very first day of their mission at LIVE. Warnings - slight insanity and a reference to the underworld using a slightly more colorful phrase.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,360 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 4/5/2011 - Complete
The Sender and the Reciever reviews
Submitted for Kahlan's 'Steampunk' challenge. A re-written chapter from book one in a hopefully steampunk-esque style. Purely experimental. Not really science fiction, but that was the closest I got to steampunk.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,207 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 1 - Published: 3/23/2011 - Mr. Benedict, Mr. Curtain - Complete
Moby Dick's Shortcut to Glory reviews
This is almost certainly the worst crossover ever conceived. My first AU, and probably terribly done. It was fun to write, but the idea's so silly that it probably won't be fun to read. Oh well. Here it is. Moby Dick meets the Mysterious Benedict Society.
Crossover - Mysterious Benedict Society series & Moby Dick - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,652 - Reviews: 3 - Published: 3/22/2011 - Complete
The Waiting Room reviews
What went on in the Waiting Room, that time Sticky Washington got sent there? This is what.
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,599 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 3 - Published: 3/16/2011 - Sticky W. - Complete
The Eyebrow of William Crawlings reviews
How did Crawlings lose his eyebrow, anyway?
Mysterious Benedict Society series - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,742 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 2 - Published: 3/11/2011 - Complete