Xander
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 11-30-00, id: 27873
Author has written 8 stories for Harry Potter, Odyssey, Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal, and Invader Zim.
I'm a big fan of both Buffy and The NeverEnding Story. Both of which I intend to post fan fiction for. I am also a fan of a old Canadian kids show called "The Odyssey" which I also intend to post fan-fic for, you know, once I write some.

Quotes:

"Everywhere I go, it's tiny life. Single serving cream and sugar with coffee. Tiny Shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle. The Chicken Cordon Bleu Hobby Kit. And the people I met on these flights...they're single serving friends." ~Jack, Fight Club.

--

"Someone jumped on your car with thier butt!"

"How can you tell?"

"There's the outline of a butt here!" ~James Leer and Grady Tripp, Wonder Boys.

--

"I learned a new word today. Atom Bomb." -Jim, Empire of the Sun.

--

"Your mom kinda freaked me out." ~Russell Hammond, Almost Famous

--

"I really wish you hadn't shot my girlfriend's dog. Granted Poe and I were not always what you would call simpatico, that's no reason he had to take two in the chest." ~Grady Tripp, Wonder Boys.

--

"Excuse me, I was wondering if you could help me. I was wondering if you could tell me where the medical building is. I'm supposed to be giving a lecture in about twenty minutes and my driver is a bit lost."

"Sure, you go right and take a left over the bridge."

"That's a lovely accent you have there. New Jersey?"

"Austria."

"Austria? Well, G'day mate! Let's put another shrimp on the barbie!"

"Let's not."

-Lloyd and a woman, Dumb and Dumber.

--

"Did you touch any of my stuff?"

"No."

"Good, because all of my filth is organized in alphabetical order. This for instance is under 'H' for 'toy'." ~Chris and Mitch, Real Genius.

--

"Take a bow James!" -Grady, Wonder Boys.

--

"Uh, who's car is that outside?"

"Mine. 1970 Pontiac Firebird. The car I've always wanted and now I have it! I rule!"

"Uh-huh. And where's the Camery?"

"I traded it in."

"Uh-huh. And shouldn't you have consulted me about this?"

"Hmmm...No, you never drove it." -Carolyn and Lester, American Beauty.

--

"I'm dying."

"You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do." -Cameron and Ferris, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

--

"What are you going to do?"

"College?"

"What are you interested in?"

"Nothing."

"Me neither."

[to Ferris]"You're crazy!"

"What do you think Ferris is going to be?"

"He's gonna be a fry cook on Venus."

-Cameron and Sloane, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

--

"I asked for a car, I got a computer. How's that for being born under a bad sign?" -Ferris, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

--

"What's he doing?"

"He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands."

"What?"

-Ferris and Sloane, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

--

"We're pinched for sure."

"Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive."

-Cameron and Ferris, Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

--

"Cookie stand's not part of the food court."

"Of course it is."

"The cookie stand is upstairs, the food court is down stairs, it's not like we're talking quantam physics here."

"The cookie stand is an eatery, an eatery counts as part of the food court."

"Bullshit. Anything inside the designated square downstairs counts as food court. Anything outside of said designated square is considered an autonoumous unit for mid-mall snaking!" -Brodie and T.S, Mallrats.

--

"My therapist says I tend to exaggerate my childhood, but I swear, I used to live under the rollercoaster at Coney Island. Which probably attributes my personality as being a tad bit nervous." -Alvy, Annie Hall.

--

"Okay! You are now shooting at your imaginary friend and 300 pounds of NITROGLYCERIN!" -Tyler Durden, Fight Club.

--

"All the trilogy is about is how the white boy keeps the brother man down. Check this. You've got Darth Vader, the blackest Brother in the galaxy! Nubian god!"

"What's a Nubian?"

"Shut the f*k up! Then you got this cracker farm boy Luke Skywalker shows up and he decides he's going to run the universe! Get's a whole clan of whites together! Now what do you call that?"

"Intergalactic cival war?"

"Justification! And Jedi is the most insulting of all when Vader's beautiful black visage is sullied to reveal a crusty old white man! What they're saying is deep inside we all want to be white!"

"Well isn't that true?"

-Hooper and Banky, Chasing Amy.

--

"And one time at band camp...I stuck a flute in my pussy."

[chokes on beer]"Excuse me?"

"What, you think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is. Sex Ed. So, are we gonna screw soon 'cause I'm getting kinda antsy."

-Alyson Hannigan and Jason Biggs, American Pie. --

"I don't really smoke. Last year I started chewing the gum, you know? Becuase my friend Donna was trying to quit smoking and she found that the gum was soothing to the nerves, so I started chewing it. Then I got hooked on the gum so I just do this to get me off the gum. I'm 10 days off the gum."

"Sounds like a good plan. Next week you'll be on heroin."

-Abby and Buddy, Bounce.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The One Where Zim Succeeds reviews
Dib and Gaz have accidently wandered into an alternate dimension where Zim has actually conquered the world. *Newly updated! Now Finished!* Co-written by Miss Egypt.
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 8 - Words: 8,148 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 1/9/2002 - Published: 12/6/2001
Attack of the Flannel-Hating Killer Robot reviews
G.I.R has finally gone insane. And flannel is what sets him off on his killer rampage. Or wait...I don't think G.I.R was ever sane, so nevermind. Co-Written by Miss Egypt
Invader Zim - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 6 - Words: 5,928 - Reviews: 16 - Updated: 12/5/2001 - Published: 11/20/2001
Harry Potter and the Plotlessness of Being ZIM!!! reviews
The Story is finally finished! More reviews please! More of a Crossover with Invader ZIM, but also stands alone. Very funny and very weird! Guaranteed! Co-Written by the one known as "The Demented Writer."
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 12 - Words: 5,646 - Reviews: 6 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 11/17/2001 - Published: 11/13/2001
Harry Potter and the Revolving Dice of DOOM! reviews
The latest Harry Potter fic, from me and my cousin. Fragile minds beware! Co-Written by Miss Egypt.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,999 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 11/4/2001 - Published: 10/31/2001
Untitled Harry Potter Related Weirdness reviews
Sequel to The Secret Sushi Bar lingered in the distance. A little raunchier, a little nuttier, a little funnier, and a little edgier. Co-Written by Miss Egypt.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,368 - Reviews: 8 - Published: 7/12/2001
Interview with Dr. Lecter reviews
The Silence was already broken...
Silence of the Lambs/Hannibal - Rated: M - English - Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 4,353 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 4/9/2001 - Published: 2/17/2001
Little Juan and a Forty Ounce reviews
More of an Odyssey/ Rushmore crossover, but this catagory is looking pretty lonely with nothing in it...and looking equally lonely with no reviews!!! Hint Hint!!!
Odyssey - Rated: K+ - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,052 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 2/12/2001
The Secret Sushi Bar Lingered in the Distance... reviews
Just a random example of how weird my cousin and I can get when we really try...Read it though! It's harmess insanity! I swear! It has Harry wandering through the desert and Ron in a pink frilly tutu! Must be read to be believed! Co-written by Miss Egypt.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,027 - Reviews: 6 - Published: 2/11/2001