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Joined 03-12-11, id: 2787644, Profile Updated: 05-26-12
Author has written 6 stories for Hunger Games, Fullmetal Alchemist, Maximum Ride, Twilight, Naruto, and Coffeehouse Angel.

Hey, it's me, ZeroKiryusSkitz666 I can't get into my old Fanfiction account,so I made this one...I am also on Fictionpress.com under the name AfterShock666 so if you like my writing please check my Fictionpress account out too!!!:):):)


--Food For Thought, Quotes, and Other Things--

"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."

It's 0 degrees today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow. How cold will it be?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

What is the sound of one's hands clapping?

Did Adam and Eve have navels?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

If the number 2 pencil is number 1, why is it still Number 2?

You sound reasonable, time to up my medication.

Can vegitaritions eat animal crackers?

There is nothing wrong with making mistakes. Just don’t respond with encores.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘...holy sh#t...what a ride!

Learn from the mistakes of others-you can’t live long enough to make them all yourself. Martin Vanbee

Too many people are thinking of security instead of opportunity; they seem more afraid of life than of death.

Do not fear dieing, fear not having lived. Anonymous

"You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts." Brian Tracy

"The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair." Douglas Adams

"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs." Unknown

"The greatest mystery is not that we have been flung at random between the profusion of matter and of the stars, but that within this prison we can draw from ourselves images powerful enough to deny our nothingness." Andre Malraux

"Don't be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so." Belva Davis

"The shortest distance between two points is under construction. Noelie Altito

--Cut and Paste--

Did you know the average person only reads three books per year? If you do not even believe it is possible to read that little, copy and paste this to your profile.

95 percent of teenagers are worried about being popular. If you are part of the 5 percent who are not, copy and paste this to your profile.

92 percent of American teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister said it was uncool to breath. If you are part of the 8 percent who would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever stayed up and read past 4 in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you are a nerd and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up a flight of stairs, copy this, put it in your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.

If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile.

If you ran up a down escalater copy this into your profile.

99 percent of teens would have a heart attack is facebook and myspace were simultaneously destroyed. If you would be one of the one percent who would be laughing your butt off, or attending a funeral and laughing your butt off, then copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

98 percent of teenagers drink or have been around alcohol, put this in your profile if you like MUFFINS!

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai, AkatsukiFan, Chocolate Chan, xnarutoxrocksx,SakuraUchiha101, SakuraHarunoKinomoto, Storm Midnight, Star Wars nut, FlameWing41, Pie in the Face, Totally Random Solumbum, SpeakNowLetGoGoodbyeLullaby

Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

If you actually enjoy reading, copy this into your profile.

If you are of the opinion that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever read something and got sucked into that book, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy books about dragons, copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy fantasy in general, copy this into your profile.

If you have copied and pasted more than 10 things into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you're not dead yet, Copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever ran into something while walking with a book, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you like to read what people put in their profiles, and you like Copy& Paste stuff, copy and paste this into your profile.

(='.'=) This is Bunny.
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination!

If you've ever seen an adult act like a gangsta or use slang and were freaked out, copy and paste this to your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Ginormous Funtastic Everything, Kara Hitame, HopelessxRomanticx1993, boyzaremylife, September5Rhyme (and proud to do so), HisokaYukiko, fullmetal'sgirl92, DarkRose02, devotedtodreams, SkywardShadow, XxGaarasGirlXx, Gaaras1Girl, Saara-chan, BellaPerea, kairika, Arya-Svit-Kona1, InheritanceArtist(it happens daily ;), Pie in the Face, Totally Random Solumbum, SpeakNowLetGoGoodbyeLullaby

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you are odd and proud of it, you know the drill.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile.

pass the ribbon around if you know someone that has survived, DIED, or is living with cancer.

If you know the difference between "its" and "it's", copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, which I am, but I'm also random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you often read three or more books at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever lost someone (dogs and hamsters count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile

If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever wished you could talk to animals or be an animal, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you're the kinda person who walks into a chair and apologizes, copy this onto your profile.

-If you don't have a problem with homosexuals, copy and paste this into your profile.

-92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off.

-65 percent of teenagers spend more time watching TV than reading. If you are part of the 35 who read more than you watch TV then copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in your profile.

-Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile.

-If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile

-If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

-If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying,But at the same time funny, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc, and the people who kill the animals don't use the meat, copy and paste this into your profile.

-Drugs are bad news. Spread the word.

-Too many people are on crack. If you're not, copy this into your profile.

-If you like animals, give one a home if you can. If you already have or can't but want to spread the word, copy this into your profile.

-If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

-Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. Copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

-If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

-If you've ever tripped over your own toe, copy this to your profile.

-If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you've ever stood straight up, then fell down for no apperent reason, copy this to your profile.

-Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

-If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you believe that the pink bunnies of doom are really out to get you copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile.

-Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

-If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

-If you've ever lost someone (cats count) you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you absolutely CANNOT live without one or all of these books series (Harry Potter, Twilight, Vampire Academy), copy and paste this into your profile!

-If you have ever been so obsessed with a song you actually A) dream about it, B) sing it in school no matter who's listening or, C) know the lyrics by heart and sing it no matter how off key you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you like fire and fireworks and explosions and things that go boom, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you have ever yelled at an inanimate object copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever wanted an inanimate object to go die copy and paste this into your profile.

-Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

-If you have ever been kidnapped and nearly eaten by evil flying squirrels before your dhampir boyfriend saved you, then you found a flamethrower and vanquished the squirrels shouting “Die, squirrel beasts, die!”, copy this into your profile.

-If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you have ever thrown something at your television when you saw a character you despised, whether it be a piece of popcorn, a fork, or a chair, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you love to sit at your computer all day, doing timewasting things, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you spend 10 hours on Fanfiction each day, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile

-If you enjoy reading the and copying the "copy and pastes" from other people's profiles to your own, copy and paste this to your profile.

-If you are a computer addict, copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, POST THIS

-If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If your profile is (somewhat) long, copy this to make it longer.

-"I'm bringing sexy back..." Copy and paste this into your profile if you never even knew sexy was gone.

-If you have a thing for pasting things on your profile, paste this on your profile

-If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile.

-If you aren't me, paste this on your profile.

-If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile.

-If you have a profile, paste this on your profile

-If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

-If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

-"HELP I'VE FALLEN AND...hey nice carpet!!"
If you found that amusing, paste it into your profile

-If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear baiting, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc.) then copy this into your profile!

-If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile.

-Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

-If you are in love with any of the Cullens (men or women) then copy and paste this into your profile

-If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

-Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

-If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

-If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you becasue of the effects, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you freakin' could, copy this into your profile.

-If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

-If you have ever accidentally stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this onto your profile.

-If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

-If you've met your not-blood related twin (in resemblance or personality), copy and paste this in your profile.

-If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

-If Dimitri Belikov is the hottest guy on earth, copy this into your profile.

-If Jasper Cullen is the hottest vampire on earth, copy this into your profile.


On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

I, SpeakNowLetGoGoodbyeLullaby, solemnly swear to review every fic I read, no matter how old, young, stupid, lovely, amazing, retarded, or horribly written it is. I've joined the Review Revolution, because everyone knows how much it sucks when you have 500 hits and 3 reviews. I'm part of a revolution...

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes."

"People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door."

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Huh, it figures. All the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two most common elements in the universe: Hydrogen & Stupidity. But not in that order.

Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken...

I smile cause I don't know what the hell is going on.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what someone would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive

Tell the truth and run.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... (scary thought...)

Don't mess with me I've got a stick and I have nowhere to put it!

I ran with scissors, and lived!

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

Smile, and the world will smile back at you. Laugh, and they'll all think you're on drugs.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing.

The voices in my head tell me that you're all crazy to think that I need therapy. (funny, my voices say the same thing...)

If you can keep your head while other people are losing theirs, you probably don't fully understand the situation.

My mind works like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone. (he-he. colourful...)

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

You're intoxocated by my very presence.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

I stay as confused as a gangster with a skateboard.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends.

Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is full.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I don't suffer from insanity,... I enjoy every minute of it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping the voices in my head out.

Last night I looked up at the stars and matched each star to a reason I loved you. I was doing fine till I ran out of stars.

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, off the occasional cliff and into sliding glass doors...

I’m not afraid of Death, what’s he gonna do? kill me?

It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!

Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

.I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise
And ran to save the two dead boys.
And if you don't believe it's true,
Go ask the blind man, he saw it too.

Your eyebrows are as beautiful as an enormus caterpillar.

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

I make the cowardly lion look like the terminator!

I agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I'm right 90 percent of the time, so why worry about the other 3?

"Education is important, school however, is another matter."

"What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'"

He Said: I don't know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put in it.
She Said: You wear pants don't you?"

I walk in the rain,
So no one sees me crying.

You say Romeo and Juliet,
I say Dimka and Rose
You say Werewolves,
I say Vampires
You say you're creepy,
I say I know! :)

When life gives you lemons, throw them back and yell, I WANT DIMITRI BELIKOV!!

They say, "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

There is no I in team but the is an I in PIE and there is an PIE in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Everything here is eatable. Even I'm eatable, but that is called cannibalism, my dear children, and is frowned upon in most societies. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Come to the dark side. We have Dimitri Belikov!


“I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!”

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

"Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face."

Therapist = The/rapist... scary thought.

"The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide."

"Doctors say I have dissociative identity disorder. We disagree with that."

My prince doesn't wear shiny armour.
My prince doesn't sparkle either.
My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;)

Sometimes you just have to smile and walk away...hold your tears in and pretend you are okay.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, god made me pretty, but what the hell happened to you?"

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll kill you."

"If at first you don't succeed, redefine success."

F.I.N.A.L.S-Fuck, I never actually learned this shit.

"Never say 'Things couldn’t get any worse.' God takes that as a personal challenge."

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

"It's just AMAZING! You're completely wrong again!"

"Jesus is coming! Everybody look busy!"

That which does not kill me, had better run pretty damn fast.

"Do you remember when Pluto was a planet, yeah, those were the days."

I suffer from C.R.S. (Can't remember shit)

"Bravo. You really know how to make an ass out of yourself."

"One night I was lying awake when I asked myself 'what's wrong with me?' Then a voice answered 'this is going to take more then one night.'"

"If you talk to God you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic."

"You, off my planet."

“I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I’ll wager it’s hard to pronounce.”

"Well, we always suspected that thinking was dangerous."

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

If you die, I'll kill you!


Don't steal, the government hates competition.

I'd rather be pissed off than pissed on.

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

"There Are Three Kinds of People - Those Who Can Count and Those Who Can't"

"I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids."

"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and plot your revenge".

"I used to think I was poor. Then they told me I wasn't poor, I was needy. Then they told me it was self-defeating to think of myself as needy. I was deprived. (Oh not deprived but rather underprivileged) Then they told me that underprivileged was overused. I was disadvantaged. I still don't have a dime. But I have a great vocabulary."

I'm gonna live forever, or die trying.

"I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I must be perfect!"

I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it.

homework is killing trees, stop the madness!

Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Life is like a role of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God!"

"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."

Be like a duck, my mother used to tell me. Remain calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath.

"I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet."

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman."

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.

STUPID = Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him ... If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion. He said ... Alright... you're ugly too!

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.

We have strange and wonderful relationship. You're strange and I'm wonderful.

All I want is a warm bed, a kind word and unlimited power.

Forgive your enemies...but REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!

We are not retreating...we are advancing in another direction.

How do you save your enemy from drowning? Take your foot of his/her head!

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into school.

Evil beware, we have waffles.

"Hey, make up your mind. Am I a genius, or a creep?" "You're a creepy genius."

"Did you study for today's test?" "You bet. Ask me anything you want about history-" "Uh, that's great, but the test is in math."

The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

What doesn't kill you, only puts you in the hospital for a few weeks! (Do you know how not fun it is to be in the hospital for a few weeks because it didn't kill you?!)

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.

I'm gonna survive even if it kills me.

If first you don’t succeed… maybe losing is your style.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Make yourself at home ...clean my kitchen.

The silent ones are always the deadliest

I’ll be dead before I die.

Stupid words! Where are they when you need them?!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

All the good ones are either gay, married, vampires or fictional characters in books or movies.

You say Pink
I say Black
You say Hollister
I say Hot Topic
You say Jonas Brothers
I say Fall Out Boy
You say prep
I say me myself and i
You say Hannah Montanna
I say Evanesence
You say Superman
I say Dimitri You say I'm a freak I say Thanks.

I don't run on COFFEE...I run on MUSIC

You wanna be Romeo and Juliet? Okay then. You and your boyfriend can go commit suicide together.

Suicide is a long term solution to a short term problem! Don't do it!!! (...shhhh. I didn't try...often...)

If your not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space!

Don’t mess with me, I know kung-fu, karate and 47 other dangerous words.

She's got him falling head over heels for her and I can't even get him to stumble...

Days continue to pass, stars continue to shine.
Why do I have tears in my eyes today
when he was NEVER mine?

If You Really Love Something Set It Free.
If It Comes Back It's Yours, If Not It Wasn't Meant To Be.

If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you I wouldn't miss you, but I did, I do and I will.

In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away...

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

"I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."

"You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see, but you can't close your heart to the things you don't want to feel."

To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.
To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.
To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.

You've got to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, and remember what you had. Always forgive, but never forget. Learn from mistakes, but never regret.

Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

I got kicked out of the bookshop once for moving all the Bibles to the fiction section.

If vodka was water and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and never come up. But vodka's not water and I'm not a duck so pass me a bottle and shut the fuck up.

Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.


1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

> >The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

> >The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

> >The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

> >The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

> >The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

2. A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

> >The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

> >The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

> >Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

> >"They will in a minute."

3. A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

> >Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

4. One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink. She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of white hair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Momma?"

> >Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

> >The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, "Momma, how come ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

5. The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

> >"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'

> >A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

6. The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:

> >"Take only ONE. God is watching."

> >Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

> >A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Five Resons Why Bella's an Idiot:

1. She jumped off a cliff and didn't die.

2. She didn't kill Jacob for imprinting on Nessie.

3. What regular person uses the word irrevocably?

4. She can't win an argument with Edward unless its about sex.

5. She's a freaking spaz.

Repost if you agree to at least three statements.

Stereotypes are HURTFUL and often WRONG. The ones in bold font apply to me.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat. (actually, spiritual...)

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenience store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUSt be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist. (sorta)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be sleeping with them all.


I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm part RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm part GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.


I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in a BAND, so I MUST be a dork.


I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.


I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot. (no way in HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be a vampire.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over-controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST be a prostitute.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (well...not the point! jk! :D)

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm part WELSH so I MUST love sheep. (They're cute! Not the point...)

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo. (i AM emo, but still...)

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent. (well...i only talk like that cuz I PRONOUNCE the letters in a word!)

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. (i hate hockey and beavers look funny)

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth. (so NOT the point!and only MOST men!)


I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall, blond, blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.


I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.


I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be an OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I CURSE so I MUST have no respect.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos. (Come on, people! Kangaroos don't talk to us!)

I’m GAY so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too. (I am...buuuuut...-_-)

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. (I am. But fuck you)


I DISAGREE with stereotypes so I MUST post this on my profile. :) (Now THAT one is actually true) :)

Her name was Auroura
She was only five
This is what happened
When she was alive
Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic
Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair
She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound
Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure
A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?
But she grabs her bear
And softly crys
She loves her parents
But they want her to die
She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"God, why? Why is
My life always sinking?"
Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did
Then one night
Her mom came home high
The poor child was hit and slapped
As hours went by
Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made
She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless pest!"
The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying
Police showed up
At the small little house
They quickly barged in
Everything was as quiet as a mouse
One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the sad little girl
Lying on the floor
It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

Ropost it if you cried.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away... Post this on your profile if you hate racism.

You Might Be An Author If...

1. Every time you hear a song, you think of a new story or one you've already written.
2. You have the last chapters of a story done before even thinking of the characters names.
3. You often imagine your books becoming movies.
4. Spell check is your best friend.
5. You give even the smallest of characters a huge background.
6. You hesitate before killing of one of your favourite characters.
7. You smile really big when your gonna finally write a character love scene.
8. Every time you read something, you make your own story of the same thing.
9. You'll spend an hour trying to find one word cause you won't dare use a synonym.
10. Not being able to write is like not being able to pee to you... you just can't hold it in for so long.
11. You write so fast, you leave out words in a sentence.
12. You have to tell at least one person your whole story before it's even written.
13. Things that are written bad annoy you and make you want to re-write it better.
14. You laugh at jokes you wrote yourself.
15. You can spell words like 'troublesome' but can't spell 'the' half the time.
16. If you're not writing or typing, your fingers are moving constantly.
17. You talk to yourself... constantly.
18. You forget what day it is when you're writing.
19. When you have to write some sort of story in class, you get carried away.

20. You would rather die than use words like 'good' or 'nice' and etc.

21. You put off the last chapter of a story simply because you don't want it to end.

22. You start to cry when writing about a death or other depressing event you knew was coming, and you are the one writing it.

23. When on a roll, you will ignore hunger, sleepiness, or the urge to pee until you run out of ideas.

24. If a story, movie, show, etc. finishes without closure, you have a powerful need to write a suitable ending.
25. You like to fidget, tap, or chew on the tip of something when you are trying to come up with a new sentence, paragraph, chapter, or story.

26. You are in love with the Thesaurus.

27. You dream about your stories.
28. You dream of new stories.
29. You often revisit some of your old stories.
30. Someone can call your name twenty times without you hearing if you're writing.

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)

2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)

3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)

4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)

6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)

7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)

8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)

9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")

10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)


Boy Girl

"Where have you been all my life?"
"Running away from you."

"Are you an angel from heaven?"
"No, I'm a vampire from hell."

"Your place or mine?"
"Both, you go to yours, I go to mine."

"You're feisty, I like that."
"You're smelly, go away."

"My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats."
"My dad owns the hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me."

"I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages."
"I have a high kick. And they love to land on..."

"Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
"Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."

"So, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a female impersonator."

"Hey baby, what's your sign?"
"Do not enter"

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?"

"Your body is like a temple."
"Sorry, there are no services today."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet,I'd put U and I next to each other."

"Well,if I could rearrange the alphabet,I'd put F and U next to each other."

"I would go to the end of the world for you."
"But would you stay there?"

"If I could see you naked, I'd die happy."
"If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

"Haven't we met before?"
"Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

"So, wanna go back to my place ?"
"Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

"I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
"It's in the phone book."
"But I don't know your name."
"That's in the phone book too."

"Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
"Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

"I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy."
"You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

"I know how to please a woman."
"Then please leave me alone."

"I want to give myself to you."
"Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

"I can tell that you want me."
"Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

"Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?"
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

"I'd go through anything for you."
"Good! Let's start with your bank account."

"How did you get so beautiful?"
"I don't know, I must have gotten your share too."

"So, what do you do for a living?"
"I'm a prostitute who's had too many kids."

"Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here."

"Are you lost too? Cause I think hell just sent out a 'Wanted sign'."

"Do you come here often?"
"Why, Do you come here often?"

"Damn, I can't come again, and I actually liked this place."

"Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart."
"Hi, I'm the police and I'm going to tell my partner that I just found a theif."

"Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together?"
"Only if you weren't on it."

"You must be from Pearl Harbor, because baby, you're the bomb."
"Then you should know I'm Australian and we have self destruct buttons."

"Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin'."
"Where? Your nuts?"

"Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back."
"Oh, thank Goddess. Where is he, I want to get that off my hands."

"You know, we have actually met before. Remember the dream you had of the perfect guy? I was the guy standing to his right."
"There's probably a reason for that, like that you're not the perfect guy."

Take Time To Read Each Sentence

This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is a cat

This is retard cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cat

This is seconds cat

Now read the THIRD word of every line.

(HAHA I guess I'm a retard!)

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem: my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones had winked off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that goddamned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

A good or best friend!

A good friend remembers your name. A best friend forgets theirs and uses yours.

A good friend will comfort you when your crush rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

A good friend will offer you a soda. A best friend will dump theirs on you.

A good friend will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. A best friend will throw you a tampon and push you in.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the cell next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend has never seen you cry. A best friend won't tell anyone else that you cried...just laugh about it in private with you whenyou aren't down anymore.

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

A good friend knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story.

A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries.

A good friend will ask you why you are crying. A best friend is someone who won't say anything when you cry for no reason, but will start sobbing too, just help you cry.

A girl and a guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle.

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared.

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No it's not, please, it's so scary.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, slow down.

Guy: Now give me a big hug

She gave him a big hug

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's really bothering me.

The next day in the newspaper, a motorcycle crashed into a building due to brake failure. Two people

were in the crash, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road the guy realized that the

breaks weren't working, but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead, he had her hug him and tell him she

loves him one last time. Then he had her put his helmet on so that she would live, even if it meant that he

would die.

If you would do the same for the person you love, copy this in your profile.

Reasons why I Love Dimitri Belikov:

1)who doesn't love a sexy Russian?

2)He didn't impregnate his girlfriend (cough cough you shouldn't have done that Edward!!)

3)He's wonderful to imagine talking or being when no one is watching :D

4)Dimitri can kick ass (yes i'm pointing at you Adrian)

5)He makes you love Russia so much that if you lived in the US in 1950's you would get shunned

6)Dimitri makes us all want to believe that Vampire are real

7)Dimitri Makes me believe in God (Russian God that is)

8)He's not a stalker like Edward and doesn't like watching people sleep when they don't know that they are there.

9)He's a ninja!

10)He makes you wonder what kind of dirty secrets would he have.

11)He makes you want to check out every single book that your library has about western novels.

12)He's HOT!

Friends: Tell you that you look nice.
Best Friends: Say your outfit looks like throw up, and then help you find a new one 10 minutes before school starts.

Friends: Say "see you later!"
Best Friends: Say "I LUUUUUHHHVVV you! DON'T LEAAVVEE!" and then tackle/hug you.

Friends: Bail you out of jail.
Best Friends: Are sitting in the jail cell with you and saying "LET'S DO IT AGAIN!"

Friends: Forgive you.
Best Friends: Hold a fake grudge against you until you let them borrow a hair band.

Friends: Politely refuse food.
Best Friends: Demand it and wipe your pantry clean.

Friends: Are only through school.
Best Friends: Are forEVER!

Friends: Laugh with you.
Best Friends: Laugh AT you...WITH you.

Friends: Tell jokes with you.
Best Friends: Have countless inside jokes with you.

Friends: Tell you that you're the most annoying thing on earth.
Best Friends: Say the same thing, except then they laugh and say "I guess that counts for me too!"

Friends: Would knock on your front door.
Best Friends:Would walk right in and say,"I'M HOME"

Friends: You have to tell them not to tell.
Best Friends: Already know not to tell.

Friends: Will be there to take your drink away when they think youve had enough.
Best Friends:Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say,"Girl drink the rest of that you know we dont waste"

Friends: comfort you when you fight with your boyfriend.
Best Friends: go over to his house and kick his ass.

Friends: bail you outta jail.
Best Friends: sit next to you singing the jail song.

Friends: tell you to forget it when you say you want to vandalize a guy's house.
Best Friends: best friends are the ones getting fined by the police with you.

Friends: Think your insane for jumping off a roof onto a trampoline.
Best Friends: Are jumping right after you.

Friends: come over every couple of months for a sleepover.
Best Friends: are your weekend boarders.

Friends: are offended when you make fun of them.
Best Friends: kick your ass and all's forgiven.

Friends: are shy around your boyfriend.
Best Friends: will tease him till he blushes redder than a fire engine.

Friends: don't see you if you're sick.
Best Friends: are why you're sitting in bed under a blanket with a thermometer, book, and your phone.

Friends: dare you to scream into the street.
Best Friends: dare you to go streaking.

Friends: call you retarded for running threw bleachers yelling "IT'S PICKLE TIME!"
Best Friends: are screaming and running with you.

Friends: Will pick out a cute chick-flick to watch with you on movie night.
Best Friends:Will pick out "The Ring" for movie night then scare you and himself/herself in the process.

Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and say nice to meet you.
Best Friends: Meet your boy/girl friend and scare the shit out of him/her by threatening to break every bone in him/her's body if he/she hurts your bestfriend.

Friends: Ask why you're crying.
Best Friends: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry.

Friends: Annoy you.
Best Friends: Annoy you, but then make you laugh.

Friends: Forget you.
Best Friends: Love you forever.

Friends: Like you.
Best Friends: Love you.

I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Vampires, who can express herself better with words than with emails, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are diffrent and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.
I Love Dimitri Belikov,

Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Tsuyu Mikazuki, WeaselChick, Revenant666, darkflame1516, AirGirl Phantom, Agent of the Divine One, Psychoteenagegirl,Shinzu Kapu kapu, moosehugger, zeza101, MyImmortal01, Jackie Clearwater Voltarre, I Love Dimitri Belikov,

You have been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, Bookworm-Booklover, Jasper's Fangirl, vampirechick123, Twilight-Lover908, MyImmortal01, Jackie Clearwater Voltarre, I Love Dimitri Belikov,

To me, writing is more than a passtime or a way to express yourself. It's an escape, a way to forget your troubles and the troubles of the world around you. It's a way to live out things that would be almost impossible in the real world and do things that you wouldn't normally. To put yourself in someone else's shoes and to get away from the stress in your life. To just dissappear into a world you created and relax. Add your name if you agree that writing isn't just a way to kill time. MyImmortal01, Jackie Clearwater Voltarre, I Love Dimitri Belikov,


getting HiGH meant swinging at a playground?
the worst thing you could get from a boy was c0otiEs?
when )m 0 m( was your hero
and 'D a D' was the boy you were gonna marry?
when your W0RST ENEMiES were your siblings
and rAcE iSsuEs were about who ran fastest?
when - WAR- was a card game
and life was simple and care free?
remember when all you wanted to do

Put This In Your Profile If You're Still 5 Inside...No Matter How Old You Are Now!!

Twilight Oath

I promise to remember Bella
Each time I carelessly fall down
And I promise to remember Edward
Whenever I'm out of town
I promise to obey traffic laws
For Charlie's sake of course
And I promise to remember Jacob
When my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Carlisle
When ever I am in the Emergency Room
And I promise to remember Emmett
Every time there's a huge boom
I promise to to remember Rose
Whenever I see someone that holds pure beauty
And I promise to remember Alice
When I'm at a mall and a cute outfit spots me
I promise to remember Nessie
When I see that beautiful curly hair
And I promise to remember Esme
When someone tells me they care
I promise to remember Jasper
Whenever my emotions are unfurled
And I promise to remember the Volturi
When someone speaks of dominating the world
Yes I promise to love Twilight
Wherever I may go
So that all may see my obsession
Because I know what the Twilighters know.

Things I learned while reading TWILIGHT:

1. You can enjoy the boquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and safest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.
31. Werewolves stink.
32. Don't imprint on your best friend's daughter or she will try to bite you!


What colour is your toothbrush?


Name one person who made you smile today?

My boyfriend :D

What were you doing at 8 am this morning:

sleeping...like I should have been...

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Shhhh!!! It's a sexual secrets!!! ;D

Have you ever been to a strip club?

what is your favorite ice-cream flavor?
mint chocolate chip!!!

What was the last thing you had to drink?


Have you bought any new clothing items this week?


What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

Do you take vitamins daily?


Do you go to church every Sunday?


Do you have a tan?

i make Casper look tan.

Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Yeah! Chinese food rocks!

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

What did your last text message say?

"Lol sure" I asked him if he missed me...asshole -_-

What are you doing tomorrow?
no idea.

Look to your left, what do you see?

A hand...

What color is your watch?

What do you think of when you hear Hawaii?
Maximum Ride book 5: MAX

What is your birthstone?
Pearl, Alexandrite, Quartz, and something else...

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
I like going in, but I usually dont

What is your favorite number?
666,13,3,7,any multiple of 3

Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?

My mommy!!!

Any plans for today?

Babysit cute little girls.

How many states have you lived in?

Biggest annoyance right now?

We're not alone... ;D

Last song listened to?

Check Yes Juliet by We The Kings

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

Do you have a maid service clean your house?

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?

My hiking boots

Are you jealous of anyone?
No.But my bestie is jealous of me cuz I 'have boobs the size of Mount Everest' (I really do)

Is anyone jealous of you?
yupp (see above)

Do you love anyone?
family, friends...Zaaaaach

Do any of your friends have children?

i sure as hell hope not!

What do you usually do during the day?
Lots of things...that i dont currently remember...

Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Nope. I literally can't hate people...

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
Nah. i don't normally talk to people who aren't my friends, and my friends and I don't greet each other.

What color is your car?
Don't own one.

Do you like cats?
yea. but my bf doesn't -.-

Are you thinking about someone right now?

How did you get your worst scar?
I ran into my sister's dresser

Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch some marajiuana

Jack got high and dropped his fly and said "Do you wanna?"

Jill said "Yes," and dropped her dress and then they had some fun.

Silly Jill forgot her pill and then they had a son.

Sex is a sensation
Caused by temptation
When a guy sticks his location
Into a girls destination
To increase population
For the next generation
Do you get my explanation
Or do you need a demonstration?

You Know You're a Book Addict If:

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
You write fanfictions about the book.
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.
You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.(Example: "We heard you were having Bella for lunch and we came to see if you would share.") (Not Twilight. I have the tendency to quote Vampire Academy like "Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time.")
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.
You've got a book memorized.
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days. (I’ve done that multiple times. I finished each of VA book in a day, and the fifth HP book in two days.)
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional.
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
You check your mouth every morning in the mirror to see if you've growen fangs and can join the Vampire Academy.
You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you sparkle.
You've closed your eyes and tried to morph into a wolf.
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
Your idol is a character from a book.

15 Things to do when your in Walmart!

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "'Code 3' in housewares"... And see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. ( I love this one! )
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go

(Never been to walmart or whatever But I found this hilarious)

1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer



Beauty From Pain by Superchic[k]


Magic by B.o.B.


Riot by Three Days Grace (lmfao)


Our Song by Taylor Swift


Don't Forget To Remember Me by Carrie Underwood


Breathe by Taylor Swift (dammit)


Time Of Dying by Three Days Grace (yay! I'm gonna live FOREVER!)


Anywhere But Here by Hilary Duff


Next Go Round by Nickelback (um...)


Two Worlds Collide by Demi Lovato


Wishes by Superchic[k] (...okayyy...)


It's Not A Fashion Statement It's A Deathwish by My Chemical Romance (lmfao)


Hollywood537 by Michael Buble (um,okayyy then...)


Safe Ride Home by Cute Is What We Aim For (oddly enough,completely true...)


Shut Your Mouth by Automatic Loveletter (well,maybe the other way around)

WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? (Oh,you dont wanna know...)

You're Never Over by Eminem (why the HELL do I have fuckin Eminem on my iPod?!?!?!)


Hand In My Pocket by Alanis Morissette (WTF????)


Hands Up by Hedley (already regretted...)


Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F) (lmfao lofl roftl)


Stupid In Love by Rihanna (my iPod knows me REALLY freakin well...)


Born This Way by Lady GaGa (once again--WTF?????lmfao Lady GaGa is married to Lord GooGoo--thanx Owen!))


Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace (strangely enough...mind you,I aint the one on drugs...)

My Boy Side

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/owned an X-Box. (360s are epic)
Played with Hot wheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/owned a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver is one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night

Total: 23

Your Girl Side

You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheer leading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You were/are in gymnastics/dance?
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (i'm just really lazy and take my time, normally reading when i'm supposed to be getting dressed)
You smile a lot more than you should. (this is because i am evil and usually up to something.)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

Like being the star of every thing

Total: 9

Boredom Busters

1. Try not to think about penguins.
2. Make prank calls
3. Look up a really hot celb on the web and drool over them
4.Try to find something for your BFF's next birthday.
5. Attempt knitting.
6. Write a list of boredom busters.
7. Listen to Bugy Malone's "My name is Talluah"
8. Look up Norman Bates
9. Email grandma
10. Update your blog.
11. Think how Dimka probably will be saved in Spirit Bound and feel happy.
12. Eat 6 spoons of suger and get hyper... you will find something to do... trust me.
13. Think of something funny your BFF said the otehr day.
14. Think about how cringy the fashion sense was in 1960
15. Drool over Ben Barnes.
16. Get Prince Caspian from your video store and spend 2:27:22 hours drooling over Ben Barnes.
17. Think about that guy in your math class who makes it hard to breathe right.
18. Try to imatate the bitch in your english class.
19. Try to immate Talluah
20. Write your aduiobigriphay about yourself
21. Write an emaressing bio about your BFF
22. Compare you and your BFF to Lissa and Rose.
23. Read the lust charm sence in Vampire Academy.
24. Stare at someone in your house.
25. Stare at your cat.
26. Change clothes.
27. Take a shower.
28. Wonder if I was trying to tell you something in the "Take a shower" idea.
29. Give your pet an interesting new haircut
30. Drop your cat from a high window, see if they land on all fours.
31. Let your dog chase after a car
32. Let him catch it
33. Read the cabin scene in Shadow Kissed.

34. Imagine that Dimitri Belikov is your boyfriend

I messed up of my teenage life...

kissed someone before dating
gotten a phone taken away at school
gotten suspended
gotten caught chewing gum
gotten caught cheating on a test
arrived late to class more than 5 times
didn't do homework over 5 times
turned at least 3 projects in late
missed school just because you felt like it
sighed so loud you got kicked out of class
got your mom, dad, etc to get you out of school
text people during class
passed notes
threw stuff across the room
broke the dress code
took pictures during school hours
called someone during school hours
listened to iPod,CD, etc during school hours
threw something at the teacher
went outside the classroom without permission
almost failed a class
ate food during class
gotten a call from school
couldn't go on a field trip or dance cause you behaved badly
didn't take your stuff to school
given a teacher the finger when they werent looking
faked your parents signature
slept in class
cussed at your teacher
copied homework
got in trouble with the principle/vice principle

Multiply by 3

Total- 87 holy shit!

you have been Pinned with Obsessive Cullen
Disorder put this on
profile if you've caught it!

Im am sorry to the people who love Robert Patttinson...

97 of percent people would cry if Robert Pattinson (Edward Cullen from Twilight)

was standing on top of a sky-scraper, about to jump. If you're one of the 3

who would sit there eating popcorn screaming "DO A FLIP!" Then Copy&Paste this on your profile :)

Favorite VA quotes (Ah, there's so many):

"I should have had more faith in their sanity. Or maybe not. "We used C4," Mikhail explained. "Where the hell did you get-"

-Rose Hathaway and Mikhail

Lissa:"If anyone could get rid of that stupid age law,it's Tasha and her activist friends."

Christian:"Don't worry.The thing about Tasha and her activist friends is that there's so many things to protest that they never get behind one thing and protest." -Vasilisa Dragomir and Christian Ozera

"No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I'd put ketchup on a taco. But seriously, we'd been out of salsa, so what else was I supposed to do?" -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"Oh God, I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey junior. Zmeyette, even." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"You're beautiful in battle. Like an avenging angel come to deliver the justice of heaven." -Dimitri Belikov, Spirit Bound

"If I let myself love you, I won't throw myself in front of her. I'll throw myself in front of you." -Dimitri Belikov, Vampire Academy

"I love you, Roza. I'll always be there for you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you." -Dimitri Belikov, Shadow Kiss

"Oh my God. A kind word from Rose Hathaway. I can die a happy man." -Adrian Ivashkov, Shadow Kiss

"Did you know that Victor Dashkov is sitting on your bed?" -Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound

"Rose is in red, never in blue. Sharp as a thorn, fights like one too." -Adrian Ivashkov, Frostibite?

"I love pity parties. I wish I'd brought the hats." -Christian Ozera, Vampire Academy

"If you weren't so psychotic, you'd be fun to hang around." -Christian Ozera, Shadow Kiss

Dimitri: "Why did you come here?"
Rose: "Because you hit me on the head and dragged me here."
If I was going to die, I was going to go in true Rose style. -Dimitri Belikov and Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"The mental and physical pain were starting to drag me under, and with my last effort, I wet my lips choked out another gem from my Russian vocabulary. "Pazvaneet?" The woman looked back at me in surprise. I wasn't sure if I had the word right. I might have just asked for a pay phone instead of a cell phone-or maybe I'd asked for a giraffe-but hopefully the message came through regardless." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"I shivered, trying to imagine myself as one of them. Red rings around my pupils. Tanned skin gone pale. I couldn’t picture it, and I supposed I’d never have to actually see myself if it happened. Strigoi cast no reflections. It would make doing my hair a real pain in the ass." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"I focused on him (Adrian) as hard as I could while I waited for sleep to come, as though my thoughts might act as some sort of bat signal and summon him." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"It occurred to me with startling clarity that I was making out with a Strigoi. And that was . . . weird." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"Even I make mistakes. I know it's hard to believe-kind of suprises me myself-but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise, it wouldn't be fair to have one person so full of awesomeness." -Rose Hathaway, Shadow Kiss

"Now rumors of my humiliation were trickling down to the lower campuses. If I walked over to the elementary dorms, some six-year-old would probably tell me she'd heard that I killed Christian." -Rose Hathaway, Shadow Kiss

Mason: "Belikov is a sick, evil man and should be thrown into a pit of rabid vipers for the offense he committed against you this morning."
Rose: "Thank you. Can vipers be rabid?"
Mason: "I don't see why not. Everything can be. I think. Canadian geese might be worse than vipers, though."
Rose: "Canadian geese are deadlier than vipers?"
Mason: "You ever try to feed those little bastards? They're vicious. You get thrown to vipers, you die quickly. But the geese? That'll go on for days. More suffering."
Rose: "Wow. I don't know whether I should be impressed or frightened that you've thought about all this." -Mason Ashford and Rose Hathaway, Frostibite

"I had left a body in the park, but seriously, what was I supposed to do? Drag him back to my hotel and tell the bellhop my friend had had too much to drink?" -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"Yeva sat in a rocking chair and appeared to be the world’s most stereotypical grandmother as she knit a pair of socks. Except most grandmothers didn’t look like they could incinerate you with a single glance." -Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

"I fought against her, trying to mount some kind of defense, but it was like fighting Dimitri on crack." -Rose Hathaway, Vampire Academy

"And then, suddenly, he (Dimitri) was there, charging down the hallway like Death in a cowboy duster." -Rose Hathaway, Vampire Academy

Janine: "You two have a lot in common."
Rose: "Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, like to intimidate people, and-oh." Okay. Maybe she had a point. -Janine and Rose Hathaway, Blood Promise

Rose: "Couldn’t Lissa have healed that black eye away?"
Adrian: "It’s a badge of honor. Makes me seem manly." -Rose Hathaway & Adrian Ivashkov, Blood Promise

"I know how devastated you must be to miss me. But leave a message, and I’ll try to ease your agony as soon as possible." -Adrian Ivashkov, Blood Promise

"If only it were that easy. You forget: I have an addictive personality. I'm addicted to you. Somehow I think you could do all sorts of bad things to me, and I'd still come back to you." -Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound

"I can't wait until this show gets on the road. You and me are going to have so much fun, Rose. Picking out curtains, doing each other's hair, telling ghost stories . . ." -Christian Ozera, Shadow Kiss

Rose: "Do you have, like, a T. rex you're going to feed?"
Christian: "Only if you want some." -Rose Hathaway and Christian Ozera, Shadow Kiss

"Dreams, dreams. I walk them; I live them. I delude myself with them. It's a wonder I can spot reality anymore." -Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound

Dimitri: "Roza . . . Why? Why did you have to be so difficult? We could've spent eternity together . . ."
Rose: "Sorry. My eternity doesn't involve being part of the undead mafia."
Dimitri: "I know. Eternity will be lonely without you." -Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov, Spirit Bound

Rose: "I . . . I know. I know it's not him. I know he's a monster, but we can save him . . . if we can do what Robert was telling us about . . ."
Eddie: "That's what this is about? Rose, that's ridiculous! You can't believe that. Strigoi are dead. They're gone to us. Robert and Victor were feeding you a bunch of crap."
Rose: "Then why are you even here? Why have you stuck with us?"
Eddie: "Because you're my friend. I stayed with you through all of this . . . breaking out Victor, listening to his crazy brother . . . because I knew you needed me. You all did, to help keep you safe. I thought you had a real reason for getting Victor out - and that you were going to return him. Does it sound crazy? Yeah, but that's normal for you. You've always had good reasons for what you do. But this . . . this is crossing a line. Letting Strigoi go in order to chase some idea - some idea that you couldn't possibly work - is ten times worse than what we did with Victor. A hundred times worse. Every day that Dimitri walks the world is another day that people are going to die." -Rose Hathaway and Eddie Castile, Spirit Bound

"Dimitri must have grown tired of waiting for me. He held on to my shoulder and jerked me toward him, triumph flaring in those red eyes. In the sort of space we were in, this was probably all he needed to kill me. This time, he had what he wanted." -Rose Hathaway, Spirit Bound

Dimitri: "I told you. I told you I'd find you."
Rose: "Yeah, I got the memos."
Dimitri: "Yet here you are, foolishly stepping outside when you should've stayed in the safety of Court. I couldn't believe it when my spies told me. And strangest of all, you didn't come alone. You brought Moroi. You've always taken risks with your own life, but I didn't expect you to be so hasty with theirs." -Rose Hathaway and Dimitri Belikov, Spirit Bound

"The shadow-kissed don't have the gift of life. Only the spirit-blessed. The question is: Who's capable of doing it? Gentle Girl or Drunken Sod? My wager would be on Gentle Girl." -Robert Doru, Spirit Bound

Adrian: "You're lying."
Robert: "And who are you to say that? How can you tell? You've bruised and abused your powers so much, it's a wonder you can even touch the magic anymore. And all these things you do to yourself . . . it doesn't truly help, does it? Spirit's punishment still affects you . . . soon you won't be able to tell reality from dream . . ."
Adrian: "I don't need any physical signs to see that you're lying. I know you are because what you're describing is impossible. There's no way to save a Strigoi. When they're gone, they're gone. They're dead. Undead. Forever."
Robert: "That which is dead doesn't always stay dead . . ." -Adrian Ivashkov and Robert Doru, Spirit Bound

Robert: "A bond . . . I've almost forgotten what it was like . . . but Alden. I've never forgotten Alden . . ."
Rose: "I'm sorry. I can only imagine what it must've been like . . . losing him . . ."
Robert: "No. You cannot. It's like nothing you can imagine. Nothing. Right now . . . right now . . . you have the world. A universe of senses beyond those of others, an understanding of another person that no one can have. To lose that . . . to have that ripped away . . . it would make you wish for death." -Rose Hathaway and Robert Doru, Spirit Bound

"He's hot - like, the kind of hot that makes you stop walking on the street and get hit by traffic." -Rose Hathaway, Frostbite

"Who have you brought, Victor? Who are these children? Two spirit users and . . . one of the shadow-kissed?" -Robert Doru, Spirit Bound

"I had to give him credit for stepping up to a lost cause, though considering our sketchy relationship, I still wasn't sure why he had. My biggest theories were that he didn't trust royals and that he felt fatherly obligation. In that order." -Rose Hathaway, Last Sacrifice

Rose: "So what are you doing here? I know it's not just a fatherly visit. You never do anything without a reason."
Abe: "Of course not. Why do anything without a reason?"
Rose: "Don't start up with your circular logic."
Abe: "No need to be jealous. If you work hard and put your mind to it, you might just inherit my brilliant logic skills someday." -Rose Hathaway and Abe Mazur, Last Sacrifice

"Sometimes the greatest tests of our strength are situations that don't seem so obviously dangerous. Sometimes surviving is the hardest thing of all." -Abe Mazur, Last Sacrifice

"Abe had not earned his reputation as zmey—the serpent—for nothing. He was always calculating, always looking for an advantage. It seemed my tendency toward crazy plots ran in the family." -Rose Hathaway, Last Sacrifice

Rose: "Stop it! Do not use compulsion on me. You're my friend. Friends dont use their powers on each other"
Lissa: "Friends don't abandon each other. If you're my friend you wouldnt do it."
Rose: "It's not about you,okay? This time, its about me. Not you. All my life, lissa ... all my life, it's been the same.They come first. I've lived my life for you. I've trained to be your shadow, but you know what? I want to come first. I need to take care of myself for once. I'm tired of looking out for everyone else and having to put aside what I want. Dimitri and I did that, and look at what happened. He's gone. I will never hold him again. Now I owe it to him to do this. I'm sorry if it hurts you, buts it's my choice!"
Lissa: "You love him more than me,"
Rose: "He needs me right now."
Lissa: "I need you. He's gone, Rose."
Rose: "No, but he will be soon" -Rose Hathaway and Lissa Dragomir, Shadow Kiss

Adrian: "Studying’s overrated. Just find someone smart to copy off."
Lissa: "Are you saying I’m not smart?"
Adrian: "Hell no. You’re the smartest person I know. But that doesn’t mean you have to do unnecessary work."
Lissa: "You can’t succeed in life if you don’t work. Copying from others won’t get you anywhere."
Adrian: "Whatever, I copied all through school, and look how well I’m doing today." -Adrian Ivashkov and Lissa Dragomir, Blood Promise

Rose: "A spoon?"
Lissa: "Hey, it's not easy to keep getting a hold of silver. I have to take what I can get."
Rose: "Well, it'd make for happy dinner parties."
Lissa: "Speaking of which . . . how was your dinner party? I don't suppose Her Royal Majesty showed up?"
Rose: "She did, and . . . it wasn't awful."
Lissa: "What? Did you say 'wasn't'?"
Rose: "I know, I know. It was so crazy. It was this really quick visit to see Adrian, and she acted like me being there was no big deal. Of course, who knows what would have happened if she stayed? Maybe she would have turned into her old self. I would have needed a whole set of magic silverware then--to stop me from pulling a knife on her." -Rose Hathaway and Lissa Dragomir, Spirit Bound

Christian: "In spite of everything, even with Avery--"
Lissa: "Christian, I'm so sorry for that--"
Christian: "You don't have to--"
Lissa: "I do--"
Christian: "Damn it. Will you let me finish a sent--"
Lissa: "No." -Christian Ozera and Lissa Dragomir

Rose: "Hey, Mia."
Mia: "Another guy?"
Rose: "Mia, this is Adrian Ivashkov."
Adrian: "Always a pleasure to meet a friend of Rose's, especially a pretty one."
Rose: "We aren't friends,"
Mia: "Rose only hangs out with guys and psychopaths,"
Adrian: "Well, since I'm both a psychopath and a guy, that would explain why we're such good friends."
Rose: "You and I aren't friends either,"
Adrian: "Always playing hard to get, huh?"
Mia: "She's not that hard to get. Just ask half the guys at our school."
Rose: "Yeah, and you can ask the other half about Mia. If you can do a favor for her, she'll do lots of favors for you."
Mia: "Well, at least I don't do them for free." -Rose Hathaway, Mia Rinaldi & Adrian Ivashkov, Frostbite

Adrian: "And, I can visit people in their dreams."
Christian: "Stop. I can feel there’s a comment coming on about how women already dream about you. I just ate, you know." -Adrian Ivashkov and Christian Ozera, Blood Promise

Rose: "I hate it when you're the sane one. That's my job."
Adrian: "Rose, I can think of many words to describe you, sexy and hot being at the top of the list. You know what's not on the list? Sane."
Rose: "Okay, well, then my job is to be the less crazy one."
Adrian: "That I can accept." -Rose Hathaway and Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound

Rose: ". . . I have to kill him."
Adrian: "Good, I'm glad."
Rose: "God. Are you that eager to get rid of any competition?"
Adrian: "No. I just know that as long as he's still alive--or, well, kind of alive--then you're in danger. And I can't stand that. I can't stand knowing that your life is in the balance. And it is, Rose. You'll never be safe until he's gone. I want you safe. I need you to be safe. I can't . . . I can't have anything happen to you." -Rose Hathaway and Adrian Ivashkov, Spirit Bound

Christian: "You guys are shopping?" he asked, glancing from Lissa to Adrian. "Getting in a little girl time?"
Adrian: "Hey, you'd benefit from a wardrobe change. Besides, I bet you'd look great in a halter top." -Christian Ozera and Adrian Ivashkov, Last Sacrifice

Favorite Mortal Instruments Quotes:

Jace: "Jesus! What's your problem?"
Alec: "This place is filled with Downworlders. You know that. I think you should try to keep the details of our investigation a secret."
Isabelle: "Investigation? Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names."
Jace: "Good idea. I shall be Baron Hotschaft Von Hugenstein." -Jace Wayland, Alec Lightwood and Isabelle Lightwood, City of Bones

Jace: "Can I help you with something?"
Clary: "Those girls on the other side of the car are staring at you."
Jace: "Of course they are. I am stunningly attractive."
Clary: "Haven't you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?"
Jace: "Only from ugly people. The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me." -Jace Wayland and Clary Fray, City of Bones

Clary: "How did you know I had Shadowhunter blood? Was there some way you could tell?"
Jace: "I guessed. It seemed like the most likely explanation."
Clary: "You guessed? You must have been pretty sure, considering you could have killed me."
Jace: "I was ninety percent sure."
Clary: "I see."
There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hand to his cheek, more in surprise than pain.
Jace: "What the hell was that for?"
Clary: "The other ten percent." -Clary Fray and Jace Wayland, City of Bones.

"Usually I'm remarkably good-natured. Try me on a day that doesn't end in y" -Jace Wayland, City of Ashes

"Yes. I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Sterilising flowerbeds, pulling the wings off flies, I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. Good thing he decided to fake his own death before we got to the raping and pillaging or no-one would be safe" -Jace Wayland, City of Ashes

"You know, when most girls say they want a big rock for their birthday they don't mean literally,a big rock." -Clary Fray, City Of Bones(?)

"No, I still turn myself down from time to time, just to keep things interesting." -Jace Herondale, City Of Ashes(?)

Isabelle: "How did you get Magnus to let Jace leave?"
Clary: "Traded him for Alec."
Isabelle: "Not permanently?"
Jace: "No, just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back, in which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy."
Isabelle: "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out."
Simon: "That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? No, probably not." -Isabelle Lightwood, Clary Fray, Jace Wayland and Simon Lewis, City of Ashes

Jace: "What's an eBay?"
Clary: "A mythical place of great magical power." -Jace Wayland and Clary Fray, City of Bones

Clary: "You can hang your head out the window, if you like"
Luke: "I'm a werewolf, not a golden retriever." -Clary Fray and Luke Garroway, City of Bones

"Lately I've been crossdressing. Also. I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know" -Simon Lewis, City of Bones

Jace: "I am a man and real men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown."
Isabelle: "Brown?"
Jace: "Brown is a manly color." -Jace Wayland and Isabelle Lightwood, City of Glass

1. Where is your cell phone?

2. Boyfriend/girlfriend?

Zach :)

3. Your hair?

4. Your mother?

5. Your father?

6. Your favorite thing?

7. Your dream last night? sexy

8. Your favorite drink?
Brown pop

9.Your dream car?

10. The room you're in?
living room

11. Your ex?
asshole...wait,that's just the second one.which one are you talking about?

12. Your fear?
the one I love dying while hating me,and blaming me for his/her death

14. Where were you last night?

15. What you're not right now?

Not horny...'>_>

16. Muffins?
*Me* *shudder* I can never look at them the same way again

*Friend In Background* Are just ugly cupcakes!

*Me* Muffin is NOT ugly!!!!!!*glares evilliy,then launches herself across the room*

17. One of your wish list items?
All ANIME CHARACTERS...and Muffin,and Kookie

18. Where you grew up?

19. The last thing you did? type

20. What are you wearing?

.Whats on TV?

dunno,but Im watchin Supernatural

22.Your pet or pets?
Kenyan Sand Boa

23. Your computer?


24.Your Life?

25.Your Mood?

26. Missing someone?

28. Your car?

29. Your work?

30. Like someone?

31. Your favorite color?

32. When is the last time you laughed?
10 minutes ago

Girls are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree

-Pete Wentz

all girls copy and paste

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping it all over his lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to football to one birthday party after another. You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies. You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags. You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you how deep he loved you. You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You thanked him by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

If you love your dad, post this on your profile

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot

Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

Crazy is a relative term in my family!

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

apparently 1 in 5 people are chinese, there are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad. or my older brother colin. or my younger brother ho-chan-chu. but i think it's colin.

borrow money from pessimists- they dont expect to get it back

if olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?

Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa beans, and all beans are a vegetable?

Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?

It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon.

People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers.

Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history

Why do all superheroes wear spandex?

If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do?

"Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers."

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

If someone has ever asked you what Maximum Ride is about, and they give you a look that says, do-I-really-hang-out with you? copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you wierd, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Maximum Ride its not even FUNNY anymore, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever called one of your friends Mom on accident, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever sang the "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" song copy this into your profile!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.


1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as
"Try Not To Cry"
2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how
cold-hearted you really are...

Month one

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you're against abortion, re-post this

Girls Don't Realize These Things:

I'm sorry
that I bought you roses
to tell you that I like you

I'm sorry
That I was raised with respect
not to sleep with you when you were drunk

I'm sorry
That my body's not ripped enough
to "satisfy" your wants

I'm sorry
that I open your car door,
and pull out your chair like I was raised

I'm sorry
That I'm not cute enough
to be "your guy"

I'm sorry
That I am actually nice;
not a jerk

I'm sorry
I don't have a huge bank account
to buy you expensive things

I'm sorry
I like to spend quality nights at home
cuddling with you, instead of at a club

I'm sorry
I would rather make love to you then just screw you
like some random guy.

I'm sorry
That I am always the one you need to talk to,
but never good enough to date

I'm sorry
That I always held your hair back when you threw up, and didn't get mad at you for puking in my car,
but when we went out you went home with another guy

I'm sorry
That I am there to pick you up at 4am when your new man hit you and dropped you off in the middle of nowhere,
but not good enough to listen to me when I need a friend

I'm sorry
If I start not being there because it hurts being used as a door mat, only to be thrown to the side when the new jerk comes around

I'm sorry
If I don't answer my phone anymore when you call, to listen to you cry for hours, instead of getting a couple hours of sleep before work

I'm sorry
that you can't realize.. I've been the one all along.

I'm sorry
If you read this and know somebody like this
but don't care

But most of all

I'm sorry
For not being sorry anymore

I'm sorry
That you can't accept me for who I am

I'm sorry
I can never do anything right, and nothing that I do is good
enough to make it in your world.

I'm sorry
I caught your boyfriend with another girl and told you about it, I thought that was what friends were for...

I'm sorry
That I told you I loved you and actually meant it.

I'm sorry
That I talked to you for nine hours on Thanksgiving when your boyfriend was threatening you instead of spending time with my family.

I'm Sorry
That I cared

I'm sorry
that I listen to you at night talking about how you wish you could have done something different.

Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?"
Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.

If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'

If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' (i wanna kno what kinda idiot wouldn't want a guy like this!)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Fang's Journal by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Saint here decided, after a little fight we had, that I deserve my own 'Fanfiction'. She even took the liberty of stealing my journal to make it...Yeah. So, this is excerpts of my journal, rather I like it or not...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 32 - Words: 40,552 - Reviews: 718 - Favs: 130 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 11/1/2012 - Published: 9/27/2009 - Fang - Complete
St Fang's Poetry Corner by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
So, I got bored in Spanish class. Out of boredom, I decided to write some Fang-related poetry and other little writings. I learned one thing fo attempting this: I am no poet. At least it's kinda funny. Narrated by me and Fang! Fang: Not again...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 45 - Words: 101,661 - Reviews: 1323 - Favs: 232 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 10/28/2012 - Published: 1/7/2009 - Fang - Complete
Me, Max, and a Dog Kennel by tgypwya reviews
Saint captured Fang. A whole bunch of people captured Iggy. So when I got bored one night... I captured Max. Cue insanity. Rated T for obvious reasons. Just read it already. :P Important update!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 46 - Words: 69,722 - Reviews: 646 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 6/13/2012 - Published: 7/13/2009 - Complete
Black And White by MrsNiallHoran131 reviews
At age ten Sakura's parent's were murdered by a vampire. She and her baby brother leave town. Now, six years later, their back. With Sakur as a member of the undead! AU SasuSaku vampfic! R/R PLEASE! some characters slightly OOC.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,069 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 16 - Updated: 11/5/2011 - Published: 11/4/2011 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Someday Soon by MrsNiallHoran131 reviews
Naruto & friends have been sent on a mission. To HOGWARTS! And the Akasuki/Oro have teamed up with Voldy! But their not after Sasu&Naru&Harry. Their after Harry and Gaara's preg. fiancee! What will come of THIS! R/R pwease? raiting prob going 2 change.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,346 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 9 - Published: 11/4/2011 - Harry P., Naruto U.
Ze End of Fanfiction by St. Fang of Boredom reviews
Inspired by 'The End of Ze World' video by AlbinoBlackSheep. How our beloved Fanfiction site will come to an end...
Crossover - Misc. Books & Misc. Movies - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 648 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 7 - Published: 8/10/2011 - Complete
Silent Snow by cynderbyheart reviews
Vampire Knight - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 706 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/10/2011 - Yuki C., Kaname K.
Love To Hate You by MrsNiallHoran131 reviews
my first naruto fanfic! Ino thinks Shika is cheating on her with Temari, so she leaves. craptastic summary, i know. ill put ages and pairing in later. rating probably gonna change. Chao, all!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,149 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/24/2011 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Ino Y., Shikamaru N.
Losing Lissa by tgypwya reviews
The Red-Haired Wonder is back, and she won't take no for an answer. What'll it take for Fang to lose Lissa for good? Some Fax, rated T for safety. Enjoy! Discontinued.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,750 - Reviews: 142 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 3/9/2011 - Published: 10/9/2009 - Fang, Lissa - Complete
TAE Bloopers by Aleria14 reviews
Have you ever wondered what screw ups the MR characters made while making the first book? Well, here's your chance to find out. The Flock could never get it all right on the first try, and they enjoy being difficult for the directors. Some Fax. R&R
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 14,809 - Reviews: 178 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 2/12/2011 - Published: 3/31/2010
Iggy Ramblings :D by Aleria14 reviews
Well, I was really bored in some of my classes, so I decided to start randomly talking to Iggy, about some really funny stuff. This idea was inspired by the great St.Fang of Boredom, so I've included her in the story too, Fang will come later. Enjoy :D
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 71,616 - Reviews: 528 - Favs: 83 - Follows: 41 - Updated: 12/9/2010 - Published: 6/26/2009 - Iggy
Some Things Get Deleted For A Reason by tgypwya reviews
Fang has left, and Max has taken it upon herself to sort through his belongings. But something she finds on his laptop will change how she views Fang forever... and cause fangirls everywhere to freak the hell out. Oneshot unless you guys really love it.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,379 - Reviews: 67 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 6/3/2010 - Dylan, Iggy - Complete
Fang Sweeps Mines by tgypwya reviews
Life's getting boring... Until Fang discovers the addicting game of minesweeper! And proceeds to go crazy... A dumb little oneshot born out of boredom. Enjoy!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,574 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 11/15/2010 - Published: 2/26/2010 - Fang - Complete
When A Wedding Goes Horribly, Horribly Wrong by tgypwya reviews
See that down there? Saint and Fang's wedding over Skype? Well, they weren't the only ones... I guess I'm married to Max now, if this all wasn't just a really, really bad dream...
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 5,005 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/28/2010 - Published: 3/11/2010 - Max - Complete
Iggy's bad day by Aleria14 reviews
Post-MAX. Iggy has a horrible day that includes his shirt and boxers turning pink, his iPod being dropped from the sky, and an embarrassing conversation with Fang about Ella and his new pink shirt. But what he does to overcome this is the funniest of all.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,809 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/30/2010 - Published: 9/24/2010 - Iggy - Complete
JillVAH! by Vera Amber reviews
My entry for the Kill Mary Sue! Contest. Basically, Max turns into an abyss of certain destruction whens she thinks Fang's almost-nearly making out with -cue theme song- JillVAH!. Rated T because of language. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Parody/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,172 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/12/2010 - Max - Complete
Songfic oneshots by Aleria14 reviews
A series of songfic oneshots about Max/Fang and other members of the Flock. Contains lots of FAX expressed through our favorite songs. Previously a 'Fall For You' oneshot but I decided to continue it. Lots of FAX...obviously!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,475 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 4/26/2010 - Published: 12/22/2009 - Max, Fang
wnigs n tihsngs n lots fo ings by Vera Amber reviews
teh msto ecpi fic evr!1!112!1!
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Drama/Parody - Chapters: 3 - Words: 476 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/19/2010 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Complete
The Bruised Brothers by Aleria14 reviews
What happens when St. Fang of Boredom and I are talking over skype and Fang and Iggy end up in a fight? They end up with a name like 'The Bruised Brothers' and amnesia. And what's this about another child? -gasps- Read to find out
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,829 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/17/2010 - Iggy, Fang - Complete
Nudge Ends the World! by penspunk reviews
Max gets into a rant about how Nudge is going to bring about the end of the world. Oneshot. Hilarious. Read on.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Tragedy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,258 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 2/24/2010 - Published: 6/2/2009 - Max, Nudge - Complete
Do Minkles Eat Herring? by Vera Amber reviews
I got curious one day... Do my Meenkulls like Saint's herring? Cowritten with M.G Christiani and rainbowstrike. Rated T because of paranoia. Oneshot.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 614 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/19/2009 - Fang - Complete
An Unpleasant Suprise by Hestia Ember reviews
Max and Fang go rather Cucko when they learn who might play them, thank's to Max's odd fetish with gossip magazines. Written for Anti-Hardwicke Day, whenever it is.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 875 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 8/1/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
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Bleak Resonance reviews
Its based after the first Hunger Games book,right after Katniss pretty much broke Peeta's heart...just read it and post reviews please!I ain't postin any more of this story until I have at least one review...and DemonStar666,your reviews will not count!:P
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 862 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 3/30/2013 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Katniss E., Pres. Snow
Nudge? Deidara? KOOKIE? reviews
Okay, so, I was bored, and reading a bunch of fanfics where the flock members got stolen. I decided to kidnap the flock member that best represents me! And that flock member is Nudge.XD There are also guest appearances from other anime/books. R&R? Pwease?
Crossover - Naruto & Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,876 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 3/30/2013 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Deidara, Nudge
You And No One Else
Okay, so, this is a Thirst fanfic, but it won't allow me to make a fanfic under the name of Thirst. So, I chose Coffehouse Angel, cuz I like the book. Sorry, but it's a Thirst fanfic, not a Coffehouse Angel fanfic. Sorry : Someone who was dead is alive..
Coffeehouse Angel - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 999 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/23/2011
Don't Take Her reviews
Bella and Jacob fanfic...don't feel like explaining what it's about, so, if you wanna know, read it, kaizelz?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,649 - Reviews: 5 - Updated: 5/5/2011 - Published: 5/1/2011 - Bella, Victoria
All The Pain,All The Loss,Hurt 2 Much,Let Me Drown reviews
Title is really All The Pain,All The Loss,Hurts Too Much,Let Me Drown In It,but that doesnt fit.Nilika is DemonStar666,& Daili is me.Disclaimer:I don't own MR JP does.Claimer:I own everyone else & I half own the 1st Dylan,cuz hes based on a friend of mine
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,207 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 4/25/2011 - Published: 4/24/2011
Stay Leave Cry Dry Eyes CHOOSE! reviews
Well,I was bored,and reading Fullmetal Alchemist while thinking about Maximum Ride,and THIS happened.It's based right after Fang left.It's an all-human,with a twist.Read on if you want to know what the twist is-I sure as hell ain't gonna tell ya!
Crossover - Fullmetal Alchemist & Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 488 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/21/2011 - Edward E., Max