Poll: Could a Zombie Virus cure itself like in Warm Bodies? Vote Now!
Author has written 8 stories for Haruhi Suzumiya series, Pokémon, Batman, Warcraft, Young Justice, Hellsing, and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
*smashes through wall* I'm back, bitches!
Hey...Banana Slug...how ya doin'...
A'ight, none of this shit! Time to get talkin' aboot the only thang impotent...ME!
...sorry, me dicky...
Anyway, I will be writin' fanfics about anything I really care aboot, some are parody, some are lemony-delicious sex fanfics, or I might be writin' some serious fanfics, that's up to me!
If I want to, I'll do it.
If I don't wanna, I won't!
...Are you still here!? Get the "EFF" out of my "EFF"in page and play out in the "EFF"in' yard, ya stupid "EFF"s!
Name: The Banana Slug AKA Ping Pong AKA The Late PsykoReaper AKA Harold Saxon
Occupation: Erotic Massage Therapist for Female Homosexuals
Hobbies: Writing fanfics, battling insomnia, battling writer's block, and jerkin' around...yyyyepo.
Favorite Current Game: Calm Time (...I love the sound of the wind.)
Why I Am Weird?: Because I watched Suicide Mouse and lived. O _ O
If you are sexually attracted to Misty from Pokemon but hate yourself for doing that cuz she's a fucking preteen yet you can't tell the difference in this anime, copy and paste this!
If you need a whore for the night, copy and paste this!
If you use the "stop-and-go" method for masturbation...nevermind.
If you go to Newgrounds a little too much, copy and paste this!
If you want to copy and paste this, copy and paste this!
If you watch Tim & Eric, copy and paste this!
If you wanna see a dead body, copy and paste this!
If you have twenty-five dollars and twenty-eight cents in your pocket, copy and past this and GIVE ME THE DAMN MONEY! (Pulls out switch-blade)
If you want to buy a Child Clown from Mahanahan's Child Clown Outlet, copy and paste this!
If you bought a Child Clown from Mahanahan's Child Clown Outlet, copy and paste this!
If you accidentally kill said Child Clown, call Mahanahan's Child Clown Outlet and they will replace your clown with a new one, but you will have to pay a small fee for the damaged clown child!
If you enjoy James Bond, copy and paste this.
If you think My Immortal is a fanfiction masterpiece of horrible, copy and paste this.
If you have money, I need three fiddy.
If you are aware that this is all just a way of making fun of the copy and paste thing going around Fanfiction.net...copy and paste this!
1. SOME OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET THEM? A scar on my right wrist (not suicide) for punching through a window. BUCKOOOOO!!!
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? Uhhh, posters, a mirror, aaaaand darts.
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP? Snore.
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO? Metal, Classical, I dabble in rap, aaaaand soundtracks
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN? My time.
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW? A naked Zooey Deschanel on my bed.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS? I miss my life. -_-
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)? My PS2, it's been good to me.
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU? Average.
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC? Mostly in elevators.
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK? I'd prefer to see what enters my room, to be franklin.
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY? I don't cry, you little cock! >:(
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PERFUME FOR A GIRL? One that smells like fruits. _
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX? Red or Blonde, either works. Sometimes bald.
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO? Disneyland, bitch.
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK? BRAWNDO! RAAAAAGH!!!
17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING? Pepperoni.
18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Hot wings.
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? My cat.
22. DO YOU LIKE ANYBODY? I like...lamp...
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED? I dunno. :/
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND? Vans.
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW? The meanest cat in the world.
27. WHAT KIND IS IT? Calico, muthafuckah.
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING? ...Huh? What...what does that even mean?
29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU? Punch them in the face...emotionally.
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED: -4
31. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES? Both! :)
32. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL MOST OFTEN? Yours. 0-0
33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST? Dipshits.
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA? I've been to Canada twice.
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES? Pepsi.
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS? I think I might have met Gabe Newell...then again, I might be talking shit.
37. FIRST JOB? Sorting shit.
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL? Failed one.
41.WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE FILLING THIS OUT? Porn. No question. Porn.
40. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY? Yeah, when I fell off a cliff.
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST? My 'stache. Heheh, moustache.
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES? No, but I might need'm.
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? PS3. Too poor to buy PS4 at the mome.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT? A third.
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? A game called Ping Pong, cock-face
47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? When drunks.
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? A lot.
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? People say they like it, obviously they're kissing ass.
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Haaaaaam!
52. ANY BAD HABITS? Sleep too late.
53. WHAT CD ARE YOU MOST EMBARRASSED TO HAVE ON YOUR SHELF? I think one ICP album, but I'm not, like, mortified.
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Hell no, I'm an asshole!
56. DO LOOKS MATTER? ...No comment.
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? Masturbating to the tune of Furious Angels by Rob Dougan
58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME? Zhe Internetz.
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? A couple of Street Sharks action figures.
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE? I don't think you need to know that.
62. WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A KID? Oh yes, yes I was. :)
63. DO YOU USE SARCASM? I'd be sarcastic now if only it was not impossible to do on text.
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE? Mac'n'Cheese, nyucka.
65. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Someone that is not offended by jokes of any kind.
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? That guy
67. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE BAND/SINGER? Rob Zombie and Rammstein. Oh, and KoRn.
68. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Young Justice, Currently Steven Universe, Clarence looks good, Agents of SHIELD, Tosh.0 (Donjudgmeh), Always Sunny, and Kim Possible
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Cookie Dough, bitch!
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES? I'm a stump. ._.
72. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? ...Uhhhhh, JINGLE KEYS! *jingles keys*
73. DID YOU NOTICE THAT THERE WAS NO #69? ...Fuck you? Do you know how much I love sucking pussy and getting my dick sucked at the same time!? What? Why not get rid of #34 you dip-shit! FUCK! YOU!
74. WHATS THE FASTEST YOU HAVE GONE IN A CAR? 5 Miles. I live to the extreme. :I
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS? ...Eh.
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO? Furious Angels by Rob Dougan. Think about that for a second.
77. LAST THING YOU DRANK? Pepsi
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Friend.
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? Ass. I'm an assman.
80. FAVORITE THOUGHT PROVOKING SONG? Alone with the Sea by HURT
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE? You. For getting rid of #69. Seriously, fuck you.
82. FAVORITE MONTH OF THE YEAR? October, ass-stain.
83. FAVORITE ZODIAC SIGN? Rose (Celtic Zodiac)
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR? ...Hm.
86. EYE COLOR? ...Hm.
89. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT? Zipps.
90. YOU LIKE SUSHI? Blech!
91. LAST THING YOU WATCHED? ATHF Episode: Broodwich.
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Halloween.
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS? Kazoo counts. Fuck you, Kazoo counts.
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT? I'm undefined. Lean a bit to Socialist, and a bit Libertarian, but can't stand the morons running the Liberts. So, I'll just say I'm undefined, but leaning towards liberal ideals.
95. KISSES OR HUGS? Both!
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Both!
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT? Pepsi.
98. WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU HAVE? Imaginary Car. :D
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? Preacher by Garth Ennis, Volume 2.
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE: Anyway, how's your sex life?
Make A Sentence:
1(Jan) - I shot
Pick the day (number) you were born on...
01 - a rock star
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...
White - because I'm sexy like that
I needed a condom because I have AMAZING boobs? o_0
YEAH I DO! XD
WRECK-IT RALPH - Cain from CAIN
Appearance: He is tall, slightly muscular, and is lanky all the same. He is twelve feet tall, and pale and covered in scars. He has bandages covering his face, with one eye poking out and his teeth able to be seen glimmering in the night. He also has bandages over his hands and knuckles. He wears blue denim jeans and black muddy galoshes.
Personality: In the game, he is silent, foreboding, and wants to kill you. However, outside the game, he is very kind, loves talking to people, and always tries to make friends. However, he tries to make himself not at all scary to new people. He is also unashamed of his role as the villain of Cain, in fact, he loves being scary to the player, and is proud that his game can scare people, especially PewDiePie and Markiplier. However, angering him would be a bad idea, and is not afraid of scaring people or getting rough if pushed to the brink.
Likes: Pizza, Scaring People, Hanging out, His home, Board games, and milkshakes
Dislikes: Being hated, people being mean to him, people stealing his stuff, and acorns
Backstory: Cain is a video game about a man getting lost in the middle of a forest, and has to outrun Cain as he tries to kill the first-person player, all as he can do nothing but hide and run away across his forest, the abandoned mines, and the ghost town that Cain lives. Cain is a dark murmuring maniac that might be the Biblical Cain that wants to kill you no matter what...and is downright nice. In the game, he's violent and evil, but in reality, he's nice and a bit jokey.
Skills: Inhuman strength that could easily rip a man's head off, invincibility, and a master hider and tracker.
Weapons/Tools: His bare hands.
Extra: He loves playing Hide and Seek. He's a pro at seeking.
Y'KNOW WHAT GRINDS MY GEARS!?
Why would someone put a story alert on a one-shot when a one-shot clearly means that there will be no more chapters after ONE chapter? Especially when they are complete!
When people put Read & Review on their stories. I too used to do this, and I know now that it is just an annoying attempt to advertise your fanfic, it just shows how desperate someone is. This hypocrite is not amused.
Fanfiction Wikis. I can understand the role-playing aspects, and the joy of seeing an article about your Mary Sue or Slash Mpreg Spawn, I too was hypnotized by it, and was banned, a story for another time. But what's the point? Why not make a story for people to read about, to actually care about? So that you could ban the people who give you criticism? Well, if you wanna be a pushy arrogant Chris-Chan (like I was), be my guest.
Steven. Shut the fuck up, Steven.
Movies about Dolphins. Dolphins are not family friendly. They are horny sons of bitches that rape other dolphins and kill for the fucking fun for it. Is that something you'd let your kid swim with? No, no it is not!
Anti-Pornography weenies. Yes, porn can be anti-feminist, but not all of them, just most of them. Personally, I watch a lot of porn, but I always have to stop when it turns into out-right scream your face off rape, I just can't find it erotic without tentacles. And finally, porn doesn't make whacked-out psychos with misogynist views, whacked-out psychos with misogynist views who watch porn and believe it's actually real creates whacked-out psychos with misogynist views! Also, for those saying it is not a Christian moral, who cares, and it may sound strange, but I have heard (and seen) a few Christian porn...I was amused...and almost converted.
Anti-Homosexuality weenies. Look...I'm gonna have to say this...shut the fuck up. I don't care! You wanna fuck a guy and you're a guy? Good for you, go do it, I'm not gonna stop you! You wanna fuck a girl and you're a girl? Doubleplusgood! Why shouldn't you? Why shouldn't you be in a relationship with another guy and/or girl? Because God doesn't like it? Maaaan, if he hated it so much, why'd he put it there in the first place? Because it's gross? I hate fucking taxes, but I live with it. Don't be a pussy, so deal with it. Because it leads to pedophilia? Women fuck girls and boys too, and men vice versa. Pedophiles are scum, and they ain't have to be gay. If you gay, you ain't automatically a pedophile or a freak or a heretic, you're a human-fucking-being. PHWAM!
The Melancholy of Kratos: Parody of switching characters, like Kratos with Haruhi, Squidward with Kyon, Azula with Mikuru, Mentok with Itsuki, and a xenomorph with Ryoko. ON INDEFINITE HIATUS. CONTEMPLATING ON WORKING ON.
You Got Batrolled!: A bunch of Batman oneshots, all cracky and full of OOC moments! See the Joker on a date with Penguin, see Zsasz with my buddy, and a BatWii. ON HIATUS.
LustCraft II: Sequel to the award-winning series, introducing..."LustCraft II". Ranging from humorous to smutty to romantic, you will see many more sexual perversion in the World of WarCraft. CURRENTLY WORKING ON.
Hellsing's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: In a world that everything fictional is actually fact, we need a League to protect jolly ol' England from what may come. But there is one catch, there IS no League in this world. So, the Hellsing Organization create their own instead, with good ol' Alucard leading the charge, fighting against evil cyborgs, serial-killing test subjects, giant dinosaurs, creations of Dr. Moreau, a cult based on the God of War, and Fu Manchu. CURRENTLY WORKING ON.
Soilent-Blocks: Answers the question of what other purpose Pokemon serve, which reveals too much for our stupid group of trainers. FINISHED, MIGHT MAKE SEQUEL.
Young Justice: Bad Operation: The Team are on the hunt for Professor Pyg and his army of Dollotrons and he has Artemis! Will they save her before he makes her perfect? FINISHED.
Young Justice: Halls of Arkham: The team, still shocked from their experiences from the simulation, must escort the Scarecrow back to Arkham...only to become trapped within their own nightmares as they face The Joker, Two-Face, Killer Croc, Mad Hatter, and even the Spirit of Arkham himself, Amadeus Arkham! FINISHED. IT'S FINISHED.
LustCraft: A series of lemon oneshots set in the WarCraft universe, ranging from humorous and soullessly smutty to romantic and still smutty. If I accidentally get lore wrong, I apologize as I only have WarCraft III and the expansion, and only get info on lore from the Wowwiki. FINISHED. MADE SEQUEL.
Ichigo's First Time: Ichigo and Rukia find out they are suffering from certain "tensions", if you know what I mean. IchigoXRukia. DESTROYED!!!
Ichigo's Wild Night: Lemon one-shot with Ichigo and Soifon. Ichigo needs to stay somewhere for the evening, and almost immediatly, has a wild night with Soifon. IchigoXSoifon. EX-TERM-IN-ATED!!!
Marvel Unauthorized: A bunch of oneshots set in the Marvel Universe, expect a lot of silliness, drunken Iron Men, recognizable characters, movie parodies, and a whole lotta Quesada bashing. WASN'T DOING WELL, SO I CANNED IT.
Ultimate Deadpool: You guys heard'a Ultimate Spider-Man, yeah? Well, since they seem to be confusing Deapool with Spider-Man, why not fix it? With Deadpool leading a team of young heroes, showing them unnatural horrors like blood, pain, and Man Daren. The way Deadpool should have been introduce to the screen, as...ULTIMATE DEADPOOL! Hide the Chimi's. NOT CURRENTLY WORKING ON.
The Lusty Gardrevoir Maid: Exploits and adventures of a young and lusty Gardrevoir and her adventures across the Pokemon world, getting into very naughty situations. Inspired by Elder Scroll's "The Lusty Argonian Maid". CONTEMPLATING.
A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground while she was still alive. The murderer chanted "Toma sota balcu." Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Lucillia.
Now, how is this kind? How will posting this horrific story be "kind"? But then again, Lucillia doesn't seem to "kind" if she wants to suffocate you for no good reason. She's being as horrid as the person who killed her. Speakin' of which, what does, "Toma sota balcu" even mean? It's gibberish! The girl's belief in revenge is as foolish as the "Toma sota balcu" crap! Just move on! The man is most likely dead and burning in Hell! We have done nothing to you! Now go home so I can enjoy my sammich! Harhumph!
Spekkin' de which, how is she going to suffocate you? With a pillow? By burying you alive? By plugging up your nose with cotton swabs? With her gigantic fat folds!? And who is this man who buried her alive? We know who Lucillia is, but who is this bizarre man? Is it Sir Arthur Conan Doyle? Oscar Wilde? Zangief? And wait, is the girl that is going to suffocate you Lucillia? Or is Lucillia the one who sent the damn thing? Fuck. That is annoying. And is this little girl a spider of some kind? Being able to walk on ceilings and what not? BRACKGONDAT! Are you saying we got all up with this crap because a man buried a female spider alive? And it says LITTLE girl, that means it was a LITTLE spider. Therefore, how can a little spider suffocate you? Like she was? Is it going to flick dirt specks until millions of dirt specks bury you alive?
This story is flawed, Toma sota balcu means little to nothing, and it did not say anything of not bashing it a new one. This is silly! I'm going to bed! And to add to that I would like to say that mmph mmmrmmph mph phrmmffmph