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Joined 03-21-11, id: 2801307, Profile Updated: 12-30-11

OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE:

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered for having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion, or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.


NARUTO IS BADASS NUF SAID

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Konoha's Yellow Flash Really Hates Paperwork by Sir Chris reviews
Namikaze Minato expected to be the Shinigami's dinner, not his judge of the dead. Now he must spend his days judging those that have died and file the paperwork when he is done. Maybe he should have stayed in the Shinigami's stomach after all. A humorous take on the life of a legend after his death, and what he finds as the years pass. Finished after nearly ten years!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 49 - Words: 237,225 - Reviews: 2050 - Favs: 1,505 - Follows: 1,189 - Updated: 9/14/2015 - Published: 2/21/2006 - Zabuza M., Minato N., Madara U., Shinigami - Complete
My Life as Ishikari Mayu by TFK-fan118 reviews
Fantastical. I'm back here again. Now I have to deal with regaining memories, ninja training, secrets, the stranger in my dreams, and finding relatives. The heck? Did I ask for this? It'll be a hack of a ride. Well, at least I have my own body now. Sequel to My Life as Hyuga Hinata. Revision in progress.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 40 - Words: 282,040 - Reviews: 398 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 264 - Updated: 2/12/2015 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Team Seven, OC
Team 7: Revolution! by Everyone Like Me reviews
Alone, we were weak. United, we grew strong. We will become legend. This team wants to be the best, and nothing will stop them from reaching that goal. But with allies and enemies like these, it won't be easy. Haruno Sakura, the replaced, won't just roll over and take it. Dare to follow the adventures of the new Team 7. AU of the My Life as... series.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 34 - Words: 326,318 - Reviews: 441 - Favs: 322 - Follows: 196 - Updated: 6/30/2014 - Published: 7/31/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U., Team Seven, OC - Complete
Minion Mistress by General Maraxus reviews
Read of how a young woman goes from death's embrace to rise through the ranks of the Overlord's empire. Witness her journey to discover her place in the world that condems magic. This is the story of Jinx, the Minion Mistress. Spoilers from the second game included.
Overlord - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 47 - Words: 346,585 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 71 - Updated: 1/2/2014 - Published: 9/1/2011 - Complete
Sakura and Sasuke's Tutoring Sessions by TeddyBearHugs reviews
When school heartthrob and basketball captain Uchiha Sasuke is secretly crushing on the class nerd Sakura, he gets her to tutor him so he could finally tell her how he feels. AU. OOC.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 14 - Words: 73,282 - Reviews: 2032 - Favs: 1,153 - Follows: 1,108 - Updated: 9/10/2013 - Published: 7/20/2010 - Sasuke U., Sakura H.
More stories of Kittens by TearsoftheFallen reviews
OCXMadara. Jean wasn't used to company-no, she wasn't used to anyone other than her sister. But when she finds them, a box of S-Rank criminal kittens, she knew that she was getting into more than she could handle, even if she didn't fully comprehend it at first. T for Hidan. Some humor here and there. TOBI AS MADARA, not Obito; RE-EDITED CHAPTERS.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 82,910 - Reviews: 244 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 103 - Updated: 8/21/2013 - Published: 7/4/2011 - Madara U., Akatsuki
Quiet on the Campus by MaliceArchangela reviews
Sequel: After a long boring summer, Cin is ready to start college. But what happens when the Akatsuki show up injured at her front door? She heals them and they go off to college. But on the campus, can the boys keep their secret? Or will Cin go insane?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 48 - Words: 86,003 - Reviews: 623 - Favs: 87 - Follows: 65 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 7/14/2011 - Akatsuki, Deidara - Complete
The Life and Times of Terah Mitsume by Tori-Da-Mutt reviews
a story that will be written in collaboration with DaniZaraki's Man, I Miss the Kitties. Told from the POV of my OC, Terah mitsume, starting about two days before she meets Alice, Kat, and the Akatsuki. I only Own Terah. M to be safe.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 21 - Words: 41,975 - Reviews: 166 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/19/2013 - Published: 7/26/2011 - Akatsuki
Akatsuki Sensei! by The Lord's Fallen Angel reviews
AU. What if the Akatsuki never exsisted, would things change for Naruto and everyone else? Or would it stay the same. Which is hard to believe when your own senseis are the Akatsuki! This year at the Chuunin Exams will be VERY intresting. Many pairings!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 26 - Words: 127,666 - Reviews: 262 - Favs: 157 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 1/30/2013 - Published: 9/1/2009 - Gaara, Sakura H.
Yet again, with a little extra help by Third Fang reviews
Things didn't go so well this time after Danzo betrayed konoha and joined Akatsuki. As the Kyubi was being removed from Naruto however, an unexpected stranger arrived to change all for the better... maybe. NaruHina timetravel some oc please review
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 77 - Words: 1,262,281 - Reviews: 5585 - Favs: 4,651 - Follows: 2,758 - Updated: 12/25/2012 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Naruto U., Hinata H. - Complete
Never Give Up by HoldxOn reviews
My first WWE Wrestling story! Well a fan gets the chance of the lifetime to join the WWE family. Sparks fly between her and the rest of the male superstars. But only one wins her heart. Be kind please! Won't be the greatest.
Wrestling - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 22 - Words: 25,594 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/11/2012 - Published: 8/1/2011 - John Cena - Complete
Fallen Superstar by FreakierThanFreaks reviews
John Cena's life has been turned upside down when his ex shows up with his 3 year old daughter. Will he risk his career and everything important to him to take care of this little girl, or will he give her up for having his life back?
Wrestling - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 25 - Words: 48,919 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 44 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 8/18/2012 - Published: 3/28/2011 - John Cena - Complete
Team Badass by Hulkishpower reviews
The name, Team 7 is too boring for the flamboyant group of friends, Naruto Sasuke and Sakura. Poor Kakashi, he's going crazy because of his crazy students. Friendship fun ambition equals? Calculated chaos.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 48,335 - Reviews: 541 - Favs: 1,532 - Follows: 1,478 - Updated: 7/2/2012 - Published: 10/3/2010 - Naruto U.
Criminally Insane Just Got More Legal by LinzRW reviews
Second Book in the Criminally Insane Series. The Akatsuki, Kate, Hannah, and Dessie get sent to an alternate universe called Seanova. Featuring the Ikustaka, C-Itachi, exploding pancakes, The Great God Four, the return of the Love Guru, Squisher, the Madara problem, Felix, the sadistic queen, and Hannah and Zetsu's Video of Evil Blackmail.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 84 - Words: 201,578 - Reviews: 3335 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 6/26/2012 - Published: 8/13/2011 - Akatsuki - Complete
All the Birds of Akatsuki by Jinso Kitsune-kun reviews
What happens when the Akatsuki is transported into our world, and they're BIRDS! Freakin' hilarity. Rated T for Hidan. I do not own Naruto. Crack fic. Gary-sueish. Now rated M for the mentions of sexual content in chapter 56! Also, add-on to end note of Chapter 57! IMPORTANT!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 62 - Words: 140,469 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 1/21/2012 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Akatsuki - Complete
It's All Greek to Naruto by shasa reviews
Sakura never asked to be a goddess. She never asked to be "consort" to THE Sasuke Uchiha, hotter than the hell he ruled. All she had really wanted was to drop by and pick up a change of clean clothes.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 30,850 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 104 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Sakura H., Sasuke U.
Akatsukitties by Valkyrie0Magma reviews
What if the bijuu extraction with Gaara was stopped before it finished? and what if the result sent the akatsuki here...as cats? DeidaraxOc, ItachixOc, SasorixOc, Tobi/MadaraxOc, slight HidaKonaPain. AU. Rated T for language among other things.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 80,631 - Reviews: 576 - Favs: 297 - Follows: 141 - Updated: 1/1/2012 - Published: 11/6/2010 - Akatsuki - Complete
An Arbitrary Akatsuki Adventure by SmurfLuvsCookies reviews
1. Arbitrary: based on random choice or personal whim, rather than any reason or system. The Akatsuki visits - again - but this time, it will change everything. The third and final epic chapter in my "Ghosts of the Past" series. Read, review, and enjoy!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 16 - Words: 75,792 - Reviews: 97 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Akatsuki, Itachi U. - Complete
Man, I Miss the Kitties by DaniZaraki reviews
Sequel to Consider Yourself Kitties: Alice and Kat are in the Naruto world with the evil and yet strangely lovable Akatsuki. Throw in some criminals, even more ninjas, chaos, lots of sarcastic battles and you've got yourself some interesting situations.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 101 - Words: 329,688 - Reviews: 3286 - Favs: 522 - Follows: 237 - Updated: 12/9/2011 - Published: 2/14/2011 - Akatsuki - Complete
My Life as Hyuga Hinata by TFK-fan118 reviews
I guess my life will return to normal now that I'm out of the hospital! But what were my parents talking about? Wait a minute! I'm back in Naruto's world! Not AGAIN! Why can't I have MY OWN BODY? Sequel to My Life as Haruno Sakura. Revision complete.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Mystery - Chapters: 17 - Words: 93,929 - Reviews: 684 - Favs: 485 - Follows: 229 - Updated: 9/15/2011 - Published: 8/18/2006 - Hinata H., OC - Complete
Survival Guide to the Criminally Insane Akatsuki by LinzRW reviews
A peaceful morning at the Akatsuki hideout - until three girls appear out of nowhere. Kate in Kisame's bed. Deidara trips over Hannah. And Dessie finds herself in a bathtub about to be sacrificed to Jashin-sama. Featuring deadly frying pans, the Great God Warg, the Hottie Evolution, Mr. Nibbles, and Kisame the Love Guru.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 90 - Words: 218,553 - Reviews: 2696 - Favs: 794 - Follows: 309 - Updated: 7/30/2011 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Akatsuki - Complete
Quiet on the Golf Course by MaliceArchangela reviews
Cin was never a girl who went out looking for adventure. In fact, she was more than content with her average quiet life. But all that would change in one fateful day out on the golf course when she comes across someone who simply cannot keep quiet!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 143 - Words: 135,312 - Reviews: 746 - Favs: 172 - Follows: 85 - Updated: 7/14/2011 - Published: 11/13/2010 - Akatsuki - Complete
Raven Chatter by Eisenstein reviews
During the Chunin Exam, in the Forest of Death, Orochimaru gives Sasuke the Cursed Seal. So far, so bad and a familiar story. But when Sasuke wakes, why does he hear a voice that tries to undermine the Sannin's influence? And just *knows* many secrets?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 48,901 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 17 - Updated: 7/9/2011 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Sasuke U.
Truth, Dare, DoubleDare, Kiss, Tell or Marriage? by The Ladies Man reviews
It is a boring summer day. There are no missions, no where to go, nothing to do. But...what happens when they all decide to play Truth or Dare with a mix? Let's find out...
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 97,958 - Reviews: 526 - Favs: 181 - Follows: 115 - Updated: 6/10/2011 - Published: 3/30/2008 - Tenten, Neji H. - Complete
s ranked kittens by poisonlovely reviews
oh, my. the akatsuki have "poofed" into my world as kittens... and they're rather annoyed. Aw, snap... this can't be good... Let's hope the tooth fairy and chuck norris can help me... CRACK. T for Hidan. ON HIATUS.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 29,486 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 74 - Updated: 5/30/2011 - Published: 9/23/2010 - Akatsuki - Complete
Highway to Hell by SmurfLuvsCookies reviews
SEQUEL to Ghosts of the Past. The Akatsuki visit again, warning the girls that Konoha knows of their world. In order to protect the girls, the Akatsuki might have to venture into hell itself: high school. Crazier? Certainly. Deserves reviews? Hell yes. :D
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 20 - Words: 83,968 - Reviews: 127 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 5/22/2011 - Published: 12/5/2010 - Akatsuki, Hidan - Complete
Kidnap Me? Have Fun With That! by IceCrystal7 reviews
Like it wasn't bad enough I got sucked into my TV, but did I have to land up with Itachi and Kisame of all people? And then they kidnap me for information? Well I'm not going down without a fight! I hope they can handle it! ItachiXOC... Randomness!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 127,675 - Reviews: 1330 - Favs: 1,117 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 2/16/2011 - Published: 12/6/2009 - Itachi U. - Complete
Consider Yourselves Kitties by DaniZaraki reviews
What happens when you cross kittens, the Akatsuki, two teenage girls and lots of free time? Chaos. Lots and lots of Chaos. First installment of my Kitty Trilogy. OC warning. Potentially being rewritten at some point due to my annoyance with all the errors and OOCness that I can easily fix.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 32 - Words: 123,981 - Reviews: 485 - Favs: 612 - Follows: 187 - Updated: 2/5/2011 - Published: 12/29/2010 - Akatsuki - Complete
Guardians of the Seal by Thanathos reviews
When the Shinigami sealed the Kyuubi, there were 3 souls present that had the power to restrain the Kyuubi. These warriors were sealed into Naruto together with the beast. When the villagers awoke it, they awoke as well. Strong Naruto.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 13 - Words: 101,116 - Reviews: 890 - Favs: 2,456 - Follows: 2,206 - Updated: 10/31/2010 - Published: 10/11/2009 - Naruto U.
Ghosts of the Past by SmurfLuvsCookies reviews
"Your mom was in cahoots with the Akatsuki, who are now living with us! Doesn't that excite you a little?" When the Akatsuki invade their home, two teen girls are entangled in a web of secrets and mystery, with a dash of humor for good measure. Sound fun?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 13 - Words: 52,079 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 9/22/2010 - Published: 8/3/2010 - Akatsuki, Deidara - Complete
Infinite Sharingan by Arthur Hansen reviews
My take on "Team Sharingan" and what those cursed eyes will do to all of Team 7's genins. With a bit of help from Fanboyinmusprime.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 4 - Words: 51,645 - Reviews: 98 - Favs: 331 - Follows: 322 - Updated: 7/20/2010 - Published: 4/6/2010 - Naruto U., Sakura H.
Master of Puppets, Demolition Chief by Dirty Reid reviews
What if Deidara and Sasori were partners, but never joined Akatsuki? What if a 6 year old Naruto was left beaten outside Konoha? What if Deidara and Sasori found him?
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 69,414 - Reviews: 915 - Favs: 2,144 - Follows: 1,927 - Updated: 4/12/2010 - Published: 6/26/2007 - Naruto U., Kin T.
Same Team, Different Sensei by Silver Warrior reviews
With a simple change of events, Team 7's fate is irrevocably altered. With a different sensei, can they learn what it means to be a team, and rise above their challenges? Pairings eventually.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 28,955 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 12/29/2009 - Published: 8/19/2008 - Naruto U.
Big Red by El Duque reviews
Naruto's body was destroyed when he was eight years old. Lukily, the unfriendly neighborhood demon gave him a new one. Now, Naruto goes through life as a 500 foot tall fox. Naruto X Multiple Women.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 37,300 - Reviews: 671 - Favs: 1,295 - Follows: 1,327 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 8/9/2007 - Naruto U.
Naruto the Beast King by Froggy-slice reviews
A boy is born. He is the first of his kind. His stunning abilities will lead to confrontations and meetings with several different legendary beings. Meet the first lord of the common beasts, Uzumaki Naruto. Naru/harem Sasuke/Harem Shika/harem Gaa/Harem
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 51,228 - Reviews: 537 - Favs: 926 - Follows: 870 - Updated: 12/21/2008 - Published: 1/8/2008 - Naruto U.
Rebirth of the Densetsu no Sannin by rldragon reviews
A single conversation between Hatake Kakashi and Sandaime creates a world of difference for Team 7. As the Copy-ninja devotes himself to making his pupils both stronger persons and greater shinobi, they become something not seen in generations.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 25,047 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 4/29/2008 - Published: 12/19/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Rise of The Village Hidden in Hell by Kyuubi no Ryu reviews
A strange new teacher comes and takes Kakashi's place as the sensei of Team 7. Watch as three legends are born.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 76,334 - Reviews: 303 - Favs: 263 - Follows: 260 - Updated: 3/31/2008 - Published: 8/16/2006 - Complete
That's Life by Hinata-hime reviews
AU Take a slightly emotional female, and mix that with an extremely unemotional male. What do you get? Total. Highschool. Chaos. Plain and simple. SasuSaku plus NejiTen, KibaHinaNaru, InoShika
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 103,909 - Reviews: 661 - Favs: 429 - Follows: 194 - Updated: 6/23/2006 - Published: 4/23/2005 - Complete