KawaiiGaara
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Joined 03-24-11, id: 2805022, Profile Updated: 04-09-14
Author has written 3 stories for Twilight.

A/N: Greetings everyone! If you've been following my story S.O.S, sorry for the 8 month hiatus. Life got in the way. But I think I'm coming back to writing on here so more stories await ya. If you're new to my stories, welcome! You're in for a crazy ride!

Anyone concerned about the sequel to Remember Me, no worries. It's still underway and will be posted soon.


Two main things you need to know about me is that I absolutely love LOVE LOVE Naurto and Twilight. My favorite character from Naruto is currently Gaara. So you can imagine how I nearly went postal when he died in shippuden. I'm alright now for he's alive again, but those were some terrible times. Oh, I'm also a yaoi fangirl My fav yaoi pairings in Naruto are: SasuNaru, GaaNaru, KibaNaru, ShikaKiba and KakaIru. Another interesting fact about me is I'm one of those people who just love to laugh. In fact, sometiomes when I get started, I just can't stop. And I have one of those voices that are unnaturally loud, so it may sound like I'm screaming when in actuality I'm talking at normal volume. I guess to sum it up, I don't have an inside voice. But, I'm almost always cheery and full of pep! But I hope it's not in the annoying way. I just try to give people a little sunshine in the morning but I guess sometimes it may be blinding. Some people call me an Oreo and at first I was offended, but I've grown to love that title. Lol. Shoutout to all Oreo's of the world! *jumps in air with joy* I graduated from high school! *epic squeal* Who's an alumni? *points to self* This girl!!


Name: Kawaiigaara

Age: 20

Height: Tall, and fluffy

Sex: ... uhhh thanks for offering, but no. Marriage please Oh unless you meant the other one. I'm female!

Hobbies: ASL (American Sign Language) I love signing. And I love reading and writing, (which is why I'm addicted to FF) I also love talking and once you get me started, it'll be hard to get me to stop. So beware!

Fav. Movie: Currently Hunger Games

Music: P!nk and others. By others I mean anything on the radio.

Fav. book: HP series, Twilight saga minus the fourth one. (The ending made me upset that there was no battle scene.) Any book by Meg Cabot (Airhead series, Mediator series, 1-800 where are u series etc.), Any book by Darren Shan, Christopher Pike and Caroline B. Cooney, I love. Along with most vampire books. (Excluding Vladimir Todd. I hate that book!)

Fav. TV shows: Criminal minds, The fosters, Vampire Diaries, Charmed, (Most game shows), and Switched at birth.


Random video's. I'll post more occasionally.

I make youtube vids occasionally, thats me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mo69o5RA38

Because I love this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpnuubCJjCU&feature=relmfu

LOL Gaara's Jar of dirt xD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42yEIcCnFCM&feature=related

LOL Pein's jar of dirt xD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuRYLKcyvOs

This lady must feel like a BIG idiot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjyjhjJwuJs&feature=related

My love for Naruto and this song together https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ9zq7LFqmQ

Twlight vid, that makes me lol everytime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqvg0C90FhM

Sexy vampires (it's appropriate) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Na1A6lSHns

Anything you can do Deidara can do better! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIPGNMqLrR4

So cute! Chippette version of Every time we touchhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj2L1N47UyY

Ninja Dance (It really does make you want to dance o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EJMJf9WTjg

21 secs of Itachi being hilarious! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCkqsMAqG1w

Don't trust me- Sarah Palin parody http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDixVmdPpUo

Love this song, I love ASL; this was awesome ohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naVhENYll8c

Akatsuki going shopping...o.O Lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lJE2MPP6QE


http://www.colorquiz.com/

My results, just in case you're wondering:

Your Existing Situation

"Outgoing but unpredictable and unstable. Likes things to go her way, otherwise she becomes agitated, indecisive, and fake in her activities."

Your Stress Sources

"Wishes for freedom and independence, free from limitations and restrictions except for the ones she choices to give himself."

Your Restrained Characteristics

Open and emotionally involved in relationships and easily finds satisfaction through sexual activity.

Feels unhappy and isolated because she is unable to succeed in finding the cooperation and understanding she desires.

"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."

Your Desired Objective

"Has a strong desire to contribute and influence others, but it can make her restless. she is driven by her desires and hopes. Enjoys a wide range of activities, but she may spread herself to thin taking on too much."

Your Actual Problem

"Feeling held back and restricted from moving forward, looking for a solution that will give her more freedom and less obstacles."


Stereotypes can go kick rocks :P

(Bold the ones that apply to me)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kindof girlfriend

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas

Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction

Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude

Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff

I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I went to a PRIVATE SCHOOL, so I must be stuck up.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. ( I must say though I do like hockey...don't get why people associate beavers with canadians)

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins

I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I like YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems


What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


Make A Sentence:
Pick the month you were born on... (bold what ya are!)

1(Jan) - I shot
2 (Feb) -I ran shirtless with
3 (Mar) - I stabbed
4 (Apr) - I killed
5 (May) - I slapped
6 (June)-I robbed
7 (July) -I kissed
8 (Aug) -I smoked with
9 (Sept) - I needed
10 (Oct) - i hugged
11 (Nov) - I ran naked with
12 (Dec) - I banged

Pick the day (number) you were born on...

01 - a rock star
02 - my boyfriend
03 -a hobo
04 - a homeless guy
05 - the one that i love
06 -the trojan man
07 - the cookie monster
08 - a sexy girl
09 - a bowl of cereal
10 - a mop
11 - a tooth brush
12 - a hobo
13 -a dog
14 - a drunk
15 - a crack head
16 - a cat
17 - a bag of weed
18 - the kool-aid man
19 - an Easter egg
20 - tori the snowman
21 - a hottie
22 - my crush
23 -yo momma
24 - a Mexican
25 - a teletubby
26 - a condom
27 - a gangsta
28 - Paris Hilton
29 - Barney the Dinosaur
30 - my ex boyfriend
31 -my lover

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...

White - because im sexy like that
Black - because I love weed
Pink - because I smoke crack
Turquoise- because im good in bed
brown- because i like to snort cocaine
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because im gay
Grey - because i have AMAZING boobs
Other - because im retarded
Green -because that bum stole my taco
Orange - because i still love him
RED- because the gummy bears made me
blue - because i like shoelaces
Tye dye- because Im a fucking scuba diver
graphic- because I am crazy like that
none- because i have a killer six pack!!

I killed a teletubby because that bum stole my taco! He deserved it too. This is a recession dammit and that taco costed $1.09! Damn idiot. Dx


IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

Cowboy Casonova- Carrie Underwood

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Pon de Replay- Rihanna

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Holla back girl- Gwen Stefani

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Tic Tik- Ke$ha

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

Numb- Linkin Park

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

I'm a slave 4 u- Britney Spears

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Everyone's at it- Lily Allen

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF you

Can't be tamed- Miley Cyrus

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

F*ck you- Cee lo Green

WHAT IS 2 2?

Welcome to the black parade- My chemical romance

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Cupid shuffle- Cupid

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Funhouse- Pink

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?

On the floor- Jennifer lopez feat. Pitbull

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

We made you- Eminem

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Crushcrushcrush- Paramore

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Trapped in the drive-thru- Werid Al Yankovic

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST

When I grow up- Pussycat dolls

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

UUr hand- Pink

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Party in the USA- Miley Cyrus

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

2012- Jay Sean feat. Nicki Minaj

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

I am not my hair- India Arie

WHAT WILL YOU NAME YOUR FIRST CHILD?

Smile- Lily Allen

IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?

La la la- Auburn feat. Iyaz

WHAT SHOULD YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED?

Rich girl- Gwen Stefani

WHAT IS YOU'RE THEME SONG?

Makes me wonder- Maroon5

WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP?

I want it that way- Backstreet boys


My fav poem:

One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.

A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralyzed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,

Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came and shot the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!


Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Copy and paste this on your profile if you could read this.


Things to do at Walmart!!!

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10″.

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk, anyway?”

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”

20. Put M&M’s on layaway.

21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!”

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him ” I need some tampons!!”

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”

41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.

44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture and open the patio umbrella until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible “sex and candy”

52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.

54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good bessie.”

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).”

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don’t realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!”

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.

80. Excesively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You disgust me” Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley-girl-like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)” “Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc.

85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingere department

90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around.

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little attention” Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming “NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t light the zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a spinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get my shot gun”. Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.

98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?”

101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.

BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.


You know you're lviving in 2011 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN into the microwave.
2. You text the grocery list to your husband’s cell.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You GoogleTalk with the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they’re not on Facebook.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has the Facebook and Twitter logo on the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go get it.
9. You Tweet about every car accident and delay you encounter on your commute. Hey, it’s a public service!
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee. (Yeah, I’m talking to you, Mom2Amara!)
11. You get a flat tire and your first reaction is to take a photo of the tire (with your cell of course) and post it on Facebook.
12. You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you’re already thinking about re-tweeting this post.


You know you're addicted to the internet when...

When you hear a good joke, “LOL” is the first thing that pops into your mind

You continuously refresh the Google homepage even though you know nothing’s going to happen

You check your email every 5 minutes “just in case”Your parents/spouse need to email you to call you to dinner

You sneak away from your wedding to check your email

When someone asks you how your newborn baby is, you tell them that he’s still in BETA

You start writing HTML on dirty car windows

You know your online friends better than your real life ones

You’ve read the Google about page over 50 times

You can list 10 reasons Firefox is better than IE right off the bat

You know what IE stands for

You wait for your spam folder to fill up just so that you can empty it again

You consider places that have no Internet access “weird”

You won’t even consider going on vacation where there is no Internet access

When you do go on vacation, the only thing you’re thinking of is when you’re gonna get back to check your email

Everytime you hear someone talking about a website, you think they’re talking about you

Your heart starts racing whenever you see a website URL somewhere

You can’t stand hearing people talk about Internet Explorer without interrupting them and giving them 10 reasons it sucks

Whenever you do something wrong, your first reaction is to hit that back button

Your bookmark list needs it own harddrive

Your monitor has the Google homepage burned into it

You curse the people that forgot to add the word “Google” to the dictionary

Your single life purpose is to continue getting faster Internet; 28.8Kbps, 56Kbps, T1, T3

You give your only child a DSL subscription and laptop so that you can keep in touch with him “more easily”

When your spouse gets angry, you quickly look for the “Exit” button

You have no idea how your ISP calls 200 hours/month of Internet access “unlimited”

You ask your doctor to see if it’s possible to create a modem port in your head

All your dreams are in W3C valid XHTML

You start imitating the default MSN winks every time you want to express your feelings

You haven’t talked to your mother for 10 years. Hey, it’s her fault she never learned how to use Skype!

You leave your room only to find that your parents are dead and that your siblings have moved out

You open your browser hours prior to using it so that all the previously opened tabs can load up

You can go about your daily tasks online blindfolded

You know your friends by their usernames more than you them by their real names

Your body has a tattoo that says “This body best viewed with Firefox 2.0″

You start taking pills to cure your addiction to the Internet

You start having headaches when you’re away from your computer

Your online life starts to seem more important than your offline one

If a coffee shop doesn’t have free wireless access, you consider it blasphemy

You wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way

You tell your kids that they can’t use the computer because “daddy’s got work”

You spend half the plane trip with your laptop in your lap… and your child in the overhead compartment

You decided to stay in college for an extra year or two… just for the free Internet

When you business teacher asks you the difference between “needs” and “wants”, you tell him that the Internet is a need, and sunlight is a want

You carry a flash drive with your bookmarks wherever you go, “just in case”

The last girl you hooked up with was a JPEG

You start using smileys in college essays

No matter how much your college professor tries to make you understand, you still think that “LOL” is a real word (pronounced “lawl”)

You have your kids faces as icons on the desktopYou start panting heavily every time a page stops loading; thinking that your ISP is undergoing construction

When you find out that you won’t have Internet access for a few days, you start crying as though your only child had just died

You’re willing to sit on the floor of your old apartment, where there is no furniture, just so that you can get access to the Internet where it still isn’t shut off

Your ISP names you “Customer of the Month” for the 12th consecutive timeYou desperately ask your friends to loan you some money for your mother’s “important surgery”

Half-way to the hospital, you decide that your mother will just have to hang in there; you head on over to Best Buy to purchase that modem you’ve been eying for a whileYou turn on the news only to find out that Tom Cruise is now president, toast causes cancer, and that the Teletubbies are gay

You’ve memorized every single browser shortcut and know them like the back of your hand

It feels “weird” when you have nothing to do

You know that Google is more than a search engine, and you care!

The choice between you kids education and the Internet bill is obvious - even though it might be tough one for your kids

You don’t worry about your bookmarks when your harddrive fails; you have them photocopied in a safe in Sweden

You constantly brainstorm things to look up on Google

You know why Google is better than MSN/Yahoo and you care“Googling” is no longer a thing to you, but a way of livingYou suddenly realize that you wife and children have been missing for ages

You search for them on Google

You sell your car to pay for your monthly phone bill

You are surprised when you go to the library and can’t find Wikipedia

You really think that your birthday video is going to be a big hit on YouTube

Your life is nothing but a blog, and the everyday events are postsYou try opening doors by double clicking on them

You constantly look for the delete button to get rid of your bossYou think Google knows where you car keys are

Your husband tells you that he’s had the beard for 2 weeks

You name your children after your favorite forum members

You’ve finally solved the mystery of the “about:robots” in Firefox

You don’t have a diary, you have a blogWhen you ISP closes down, you decide to sue them for the “Mental Damage” they caused you

You know people online better than you know your own mother

Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer can not come to bed”

You started writing HTML code on the doors of public restrooms

You’ve changed your homepage over 100 times… and always ended up going back to Google

You refer to your age as 2.0

You miss a weeks worth of meals downloading the latest games

You try and convince yourself that you’re “not” addicted to the Internet while browsing through you feed reader’s 12,702 unread items

You’ve fallen for every single one of Google’s April Fools jokes

The only time you ever leave your room is to eat and go to the bathroomYou call up a plumber and ask him how much it would cost for him to replace your computer chair with a toiler

You start ordering all your food online and move into the kitchen so you “don’t waste any time”

You’re surprised to hear that your friends don’t have their own Personal Messaging system

You misspell words on purpose just so that you can use Firefox’s “cool” spellcheck tool

Your cat has it own homepage and Facebook profileYou refer to eating as uploading

You refer to going to the bathroom as downloadingYou step out of your to find that the new Ice Age has begun

You call up your ISP and ask them is the snow is going to affect your connection

If anybody wants to talk to you, he just logs on your IRC channel

When your connection goes down, you spend every waking minute trying to guess your neighbors password so that you can “borrow” their Internet

You need a list like this to tell you that you’re addicted to the Internet

You predicted (right) how this list was going to end before reading the last sign


You Know Your Addicted to Naruto When..

You eat Ramen all day every day.

You've watched every episode at least 5 times - in English and Japanese.

You watched the first 135 episodes of Naruto in less than 5 days.

You buy a $200 pair of Sharingan contacts.

You say "Dattebayo" or "Believe it!" after every sentence.

You cover half of your face with a mask.

You spend all your free time looking at Naruto web sites.

You try to walk up trees using your feet only.

You draw whiskers on your face.

You spend the time to make and maintain a Naruto web site. _

You draw black circles around your eyes.

You think about killing your entire family just to test your abilities.

You always talk about Naruto, even if no one wants to hear about it.

You run with your arms behind you.

You have read and written Naruto fan fiction...And took it a step further by making a Naruto music video .

You decide to call your morals your "ninja way".

You thrust your arm forward with a stress ball in hand and yell "Rasengan!"

You run with a snowball during a snowball fight, dodging everything in your path (or at least pretending to) and get to your target and thrust a "Snow Rasengan!" in their face.

You feel like you can tap into yourself and demand bursts of energy during a race or fight.

You yell out "Demon Windmill Shuriken" when your throwing a Frisbee.

You dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.

You watch Naruto in Japanese, without English subtitles, even though you don't know a lick of Japanese.

You address your tests as the Chunin Exams.

You dye your hair red and carry a large bottle of of sand on your back.

You call old men who stare at young women Ero-sennin or Pervy sage

Your not Japanese and you say "Itadakimasu" before you eat

Your dreams and daydreams consist of elements from the Naruto world.

You have Naruto games for video game systems you don't even have.

You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.

You tell people your dream is to be Hokage.

You replace your backpack with a giant gourd.

You feel like you have the Sharingan after you put in normal, everyday people contacts...And feel like you turn off your Sharingan after you take out the contacts.

You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you.

Whenever your stomach rumbles, you think its Nine-Tailed Demon Fox trying to get out.

You wear a jacket in the middle of the summer.

You roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan!"

You give people the 'nice-guy' pose.

You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!"

You have to put on a headband before a major competition...And want your competition to do it too so people acknowledge you all as equals.

You do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possession Jutsu.

You trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.

You dress up like a girl and say it's your "Sexy Jutsu" (for guys only).

You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on your neck.

You don't care that your life has started to suck because "it's not cannon".

You leave your town for two and a half years, come back, and pretend you're cooler and smarter then before.

Any mention of Naruto makes you scream, laugh, applaud, or overall just become rather excited.

You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.

You daydream about fighting the likes of Orochimaru, Itachi, or all of Akatsuki member.

You try to make pairings between characters.

You try to teach your dog 'Dynamic Marking'.

You throw clay birds hoping they'll explode.

You carry puppets with you.

You call your group of friends a "three man cell"."Art is a Bang"

Your theories in chemistry, psychology, or philosophy class always reference Naruto somehow.

You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it.

The only facts you know about cells are the ones you learned from Tsunade.

You have gotten at least one friend addicted to Naruto.

You imagine Mount Rushmore as the Hokage faces.

You buy those stickers and stick them on your car, room, or face.

You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.

Your on a Naruto forum and it's 4:00 AM.

You spy on girls and call it research.

You try to summon a frog in biology class...by biting your thumb, making hand signs, and thrusting your hand on the floor.

You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people.

You refuse a date because your saving yourself for Sakura or Sasuke.

You have a pet pig named Tonton.

You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it.

You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.

You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next episode.

You call your teachers sensei and your not Japanese.

You add the suffixes -chan and -kun to the end of your friends names and your not Japanese.

You follow somebody home and when they ask you why, you tell them it's part of your mission.

You use pick-up lines like Wanna see my new jutsu? or Did you see my shadow clone pass by here earlier?

You dress up a piece of wood and tell people your practicing a substitution technique.

You start making hand signs...And then run at somebody yelling "Chidori!"

You try to sign a contract with blood.

You hit people over the head if they say something stupid.

You paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books.

You keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.

You try to do 200 push-ups and when your not able to, you'll do 200 squats, and when you can't do that you'll try to walk around your town 200 times on your hands.

You try and compare people in real life to people in Naruto.

You drive around with Naruto music blasting out of the car, hoping somebody will recognize them and think your cool.

Your in a fight and rub some hot sauce in your eyes, yelling "Sharingan!"You take out a bottle of hot sauce and drink it, shouting "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)"

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Naruto!


You Know you're Obsessed with Twilight When. . .

1. Biology has suddenly become your favorite subject.

2. No one wants to watch a movie that involves vampires with you because all you do is say 'Vampires don't burst into flames when they're in the sun, they sparkle' and other remarks like that.

3. For Christmas your mom asked you what you wanted and you automatically said Edward Cullen or any other Twilight character.

4. Your parents know just about everything about Twilight even though they haven't read the books.

5. Your younger brother or sister also knows everything about the books even though they haven't read them.

6. You have gotten at least four people addicted to the books.

7. You cried when you found out that Stephanie Meyer isn't writing Midnight Sun.

8. You read Breaking Dawn in a day.

9. You cried when you finished Breaking Dawn.

10. Anyone who disturbed you was hissed or growled at.

11 You can't resist telling people at Barnes and Nobles who are looking at the books that they are the best books ever.

12. You wanted to name your family pets after the characters but you weren't allowed to.

13. Your computer teacher blocked all things Twilight related at school because you spent the whole hour on fan sites when you were supposed to be working.

14. At school you are known as the 'Twilight Girl'

15. Google is your new favorite search engine.

16. You know the reason behind number 15.

17. Your parents no longer threaten to ground you; they threaten to take away your Twilight books.

18. You have seen the movie at least 5 times.

19. You have read each book at least 8 times.

20. You remember the exact date and time you fell in love with Twilight.


You know you're addicted to sims3 when...

You wonder what’s in Stu Surprise and consider making it in real life.

You feel confused when you can’t speed past boring activities like showering, eating and childbirth. Where’s the 3 button?!

You create people you have crushes on and then create a Sim version of you and then play out your sick sick fantasies.

Motherlode – if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’re safe.

Whenever you hear or read “WooHoo”, you instantly start thinking about sex. But not human sex…Sims sex.

You contemplate removing the ladder from the pool when you notice someone you don’t like is swimming.

You don’t understand why it takes your real kids longer than thirty minutes to figure out the whole potty training thing.

You start to wonder what random people would look like if you “Simmed” them…and then you do.

You talk to your non-Sims playing friends and family about Sims 3 even though they ignore you.

They WILL love Sims 3.

You dream about your Sims.


You know you're addicted to video games when...

1. You've tried to dial a cheat code on your phone.

2. Whenever something bad happens you reach for the pause button.

3. You've spent so much time playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater you actually taught youself how to skateboard.

4. You keep pushing the bottons in the elevator in the apartment/hotel/mall.

5. The only joystick you play with anymore is plugged in to your Xbox.

6. You've decided you won't go outside anymore due to the 'tacky graphics, poor sound and low playability.'

7. You've moved your PS2 into the bathroom just in case you make it to the next level on Vice City.

8. Your hands are so gnarled from gripping the controller, you can't even tie your shoes.

9. You ask your doctor how many lives you have left.

10. You think you can take on the world with a crowbar.

11. You actually went to video game design camp.

12. Whenever you get hurt, you just hide behind something for five seconds until you heal.

13. You have ever tried to "double jump".

14. You've dressed up as your favorite character and did cosplay

15. You own all gaming systems even if they suck

16. You search for hentai for hot video game characters you like

17. You own the soundtrack to your favorite games

18. You make videos about gaming

19. You dream about gaming

20. All the music on your ipod came from guitar hero

21. You argue with people when they say your favorite game/system sucks

22. You actually learned how to play a real guitar because of guitar hero

23.You stand in Wal-mart shouting "Opening Lockboxes!"

24. You try to throw a pokeball at a animal trying to catch it

25. You tell your dog to use an attack on someone/something

26. When you have a girlfriend who games as much as you do

27. When you invite your online friends you don't know for your wedding and other activities

28. You call someone a noob in real life

29. When you go to buy something at a store/mall, you ask how much gold/rupees will it cost.

30. You look for a map when you take a walk in the woods

31. You walk into people's homes to collect money and smash their stuff

32. When you refer to your car as your epic mount

33. When something goes wrong in real life, you try to load a save game. When you find it doesn't work you go and ask someone how to fix corrupt saves.

34. When you get a new gadget or game, you hold it above your head with a stupid smile!

35. You actually thought pokemon were real

36. You eat a mushroom hoping to become bigger

37. You're amazed that there's no triolith (pyramidal stone) in your local church

38. When you see a turtle, you jump on them

39. You have the video game hotline on speed dial

40. You've changed your name to a video game characters' name

41. When you heard about the hurricane Ike coming, you thought of Ike from fire emblem

42. Your phone's ringtone is from a game you love

43. You actually camped out 24 hours before a game/system came out.

44. You don't talk about anythng but games.

45. You get extremely irritated every time you hear someone say "Hey! Listen!"

46. You learned japanese just so you can enjoy more games 47. You think Milk is beer

48. You name your child after a video game character

49. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to video games.

50. You actually made a list of "You know you're addicted to video games."


You know you're from Cleveland if...

Your idea of fine cuisine includes keilbasa and Stroh's beer
You think the Antichrist walks among us and moved to Baltimore in 1995
You refer to Pittsburgh as a Third World nation
You have refer to a group of people (even if girls are there) as 'you guys'.
You think political correctness involves using the term "certain ethnic" when telling a joke
You believe plastic lawn flamingos are essential in any landscaping project
Your second car is completely dissolved by salt by the time April rolls around
The phrase "lake effect" strikes terror in your heart
You actually remember when Dennis Kucinich was mayor
You see nothing wrong with wearing white sox with black shoes, even when wearing a tux
You always knew you lived in the Rock n Roll Capital of the World
You know more about Frankie Yankovic than Weird Al Yankovic
Tourists ask you what time the river catches fire
You believe the Second Coming meant the Browns returning in 1999
You don't really know any homosexuals, you just know that there are a lot of them in Lakewood.
You know you don't really have an accent, the rest of the world does.
You hear there are always famous people in town, but you have never seen one.
You hate country music, don't know anyone that does like country music, and yet WGAR just won the country music station of the year.
You take credit for Cedar Point even though it is 2 hours away.
You honestly believe that Cleveland is the best city in the world.
The Tri-C jingle "students for life" scares the hell out of you.
You take Dead Man's Curve at 60 mph holding your breath.
You know about the Eastside/Westside rivalry, but don't really understand it.
You use a preposition at the end of your sentences. "Where's the can at?"
Your neighborhood schools went without sports because all the senior citizens refused to pass the levies.
You actually know how to pronounce Cuyahoga.
You can't tell Brook Park, Brooklyn, or Old Brooklyn apart.
You see Christmas lights still up in July.
You love BW-3, but have no clue what the heck weck is.
You find yourself singing "Garfield 1-2323" in the shower.
You're still dumbfounded by the Leaping Fountain in Tower City.
You have never ridden in a taxi.
You wear shorts the first day of the year it isn't below 30 and snowing, just because you can.
You have gotten 3 speeding tickets, and they are all from the mile long stretch of a suburb named Linndale.
You have no idea how exactly to get to the Flats, you just kind of end up on a bank and start partying.
You really don't know what the Warehouse District is, you just know that it's a great place to party.
You know who the Jake really is
You hate Baltimore and you have never been there.
St. Patty's Day is your number one holiday, and you aren't Irish.
You're still relishing 1987 when we ALMOST made it to the Super Bowl.
You counted down with the monument in Tower City to the exact second in 1999 when the Browns came back.
You heard Bill Clinton and Drew Carey love Parma Pierogies, but you have yet to ever eat there.
You know Tower City isn't a city at all.


You Know You're Ghetto if...

-You put sugar on your frosted flakes
-Your kids were in your wedding.
-You call your mama by her first name.
-You have a car phone and no car.
-You iron dirty clothes.
-You've been a guest on Ricky Lake.
-You wear house shoes to the grocery store.
-You're nineteen and you just met your father.
-You use a clothes hanger as a TV antenna.
-You have a wife and kids but still live at home.
-You chew ice.
-You cain't kant spell "can't."
-You still wear anything that says "Whoop, there it is."
-You record over previously recorded tapes.
-Your mom does your hair in the kitchen.
-You don't pay your rent until you get a three-day notice.
-You put on panty-hose instead of shaving your legs.
-You buy clothes for a party and return them to the store the next day.
-You only go to church on Easter and Mother's Day or to meet women.
-Your first name begins with Ta', La', or Sha'.
-You took the batteries out of the smoke detector to put in your remote control.
-Your bank is a check-cashing place.
-You have to put stuff on layaway at the 99-cent store.
-Your man can wear his hair in a ponytail but you can't.
-You're hooked on ebonics.
-You think putting batteries in the refrigerator recharges them.
-You take bubble bath with dishwashing liquid.
-You return gifts for the money.
-You yell "Pookie" in your house and five people turn around.
-You think going to prison is "keeping it real."
-You save cooking grease.
-The only dates marked on calendar are the 1st and the 15th.
-You keep food stamps in money clip.
-You think grease and water make your hair curly.
-You wear tube socks with dress shoes.
-You add water to shampoo to stretch it.
-You put you kids to sleep with NyQuil.
-You use your welfare check as collateral.
-You can read your haircut.
-You use a toothbrush to style your "baby hair".
-You named your daughters after cars you can't afford.
-You bought your rims before you bought your car.
-Your fingernails are longer than your fingers.
-You think jury duty is a good way to make money.
-You think going on a diet means no candy.
-You have a drawer in your kitchen just for condiments from fast-food restaurants.


If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal! Saying that you are normal is odd! If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile!

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself! It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird! If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile!

If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile!

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this into your profile!

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone! Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile this in your profile!

If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile!

My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile!

If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile!

Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. copy and paste this if you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile


FRIENDS Vs. BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"


7 Ways to Scare your roommates

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterward, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."


Things to do on an elevator to annoy others

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call a Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.

Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?", and let the doors close.

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again."

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out "Group Hug!", then enforce it.G

rimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off, ever.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little circle around yourself on the floor and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Hold an auction.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"

Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Bring a large pile of ice. Build a small igloo on the floor.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light.

Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.

Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Do Riverdance.

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Make sushi.

Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion.

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure.

"Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.

Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question."Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their temper." [

Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..."


563 ways to be annoying

1. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
2. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
3. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
6. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies.
7. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
8. Sniffle incessantly.
9. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
10. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
11. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace.
12. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
13. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
14. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
15. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
16. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
17. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you’ll be saying more any moment.
18. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
19. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
20. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
21. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
22. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
23. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
24. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people’s backpacks.
25. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
26. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
27. Honk and wave to strangers.
28. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
29. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
30. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
31. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
32. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
33. Only type in lowercase.
34. Don’t use any punctuation either
35. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
36. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
37. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
38. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
39. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone’s roadmaps.
40. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
41. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
42. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
43. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
44. Stand over someone’s shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
45. Pretend your computers mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
46. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
47. Ask people what gender they are.
48. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
49. Hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
50. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
51. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
52. Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book, claim its a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
53. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
54. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
55. Wear a LOT of cologne.
56. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
57. Sing along at the opera.
58. Mow your lawn with scissors.
59. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
60. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
61. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
62. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
63. Never make eye contact.
64. Never break eye contact.
65. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
66. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
67. Invite lots of people to other people’s parties.
68. Ask people to donate to your favorite charity--yourself.
69. Explode a lot.
70. Bring your puppy into fancy restaurants.
71. Purposely crash into walls and insist it never happened.
72. Slap someone every time they say "potato".
73. Sneeze on people.
74. Bother people you don't know.
75. Accidentally misspell wurdz.
76. Have an over-active imagination.
77. Write a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, long sentence.
78. Throw dishes at people when they talk too much.
79. Tell people to shut up when they start to talk.
80. Tell people to shut up when you think they might start talking.
81. Bother people you don't know by loudly ripping paper.
82. Bounce objects off bald guy's heads. (no offense to bald guys :))
83. Tell people you're from the future and that they will die within 24 hours.
84. Then tell them again.
85. And again.
86. And one more time for good measure. But don't overdo it.
87. Overdo it anyway.
88. Claim you have split personalities and argue with yourself.
89. Then have your third personality join in.
90. Steal people’s pens.
91. Toss things out windows of a very tall building.
92. Let your Yorkshire terrier chew the tar out of someone's briefcase.
93. Then in front of the owner give the dog a biscuit and tell it "good job, but you missed a spot."
94. Don't bathe.
95. Then tell people it’s a new fragrance from France.
96. Laugh if they believe you.
97. Don't bathe your dog.
98. And bring it to a wedding.
99. Repeat rules 94-96 aloud to make people thing you're psycho.
100. Put a dog in your backpack and bring it to school, saying your dog ate your schoolbooks, so you couldn't do your homework.
101. Run around, screaming and flailing your arms like a lunatic.
102. Collect animal eggs and store them in your medicine cabinet for nosy people to be surprised when they check it.
103. Purposely make someone get an error and disconnect from AOL IM.
104. Make people believe you're an AOL hacker by having an evil address.
105. Use the phrase "hehe" a lot.
106. Lie about EVERYTHING and make it obvious that you are.
107. Make up your own internet-ese and type it to people and see if they understand.
108. Be really stupid.
109. Make a list of annoying things.
109. Use the same number twice.
110. Ring people’s doorbells and say you’re from Publishers’ Clearing House, telling them they didn’t win a prize.
111. Spin your head in circles.
112. Smack people in the face and claim it’s an arm spasm.
114. Skip numbers in a numbered list.
23. Then add a number from out of nowhere.
115. At restaurants, eat food off other people’s plates while they stare at you in amazement.
116. Gain 200 pounds and order four pizzas from a pizza place, then insist on not paying because they were ten seconds late.
117. Visit a friend and replace all their silverware with chopsticks.
118. Bring fast food into another restaurant.
119. Steal the deal in euchre until someone notices.
120. Play 52-card pickup by yourself in front of everyone.
121. On every scrap of paper you find, scribble "Happy Valentine’s Day" and give it to people.
122. Scatter camouflaged objects all over the floor and laugh at people that trip.
123. Take off your socks and toss them randomly around your house, and take note of who passes out.
124. Throw a party at a friend’s house while he/she are gone, leave a mess, then insist it was a surprise party. "Surprise! We trashed your house!"
125. Strew fly paper all over the floor in the public restroom.
126. Talk in a really high-pitched voice.
127. Never change the tone of your voice This means no feeling emphasis emotion or punctuation of any kind
128. Prop your feet up on a computer desk and insist you type with your feet.
129. End all your sentences with question marks?
130. Play golf with a friend, and launch all his/her golf balls into a lake, one after the other.
131. Add another annoying thing to the end of this list every time you receive it, and send it to everyone you know, including the person that sent this to you.
132. Go burn the Puerto Rican flag.
133. Go to Lebanon, and burn their flag while claiming that you're a member of Hammas.
134. Yell out "that's gotta hurt" every time that someone dies in a movie.
135. Swat at the air for no reason so people will think that you're crazy.
136. When you go to shake someone's hand, sniff them for no reason.
137. Talk with a Russian accent.
138. Put. periods. after. all. words.
139. Don'tputspacesbetweenwords.
140. Or forget rules 132-135 and imitate every action of the most recent Seinfeld.
141. Try putting a CD in the slot for a 3.5" floppy and then say, "It doesn't fit."
142. Wear glitter eye shadow for no reason.
143. Say "no?" after every sentence so the person you're talking to doesn't know whether to say "yes" or "no" or something else.
144. Put your hair like Kramer's for no apparent reason.
145. In the middle of "Men in Black", get up & scream, "BEAM ME UP, SCOTTIE!"
146. Eat everything you see.
147. Eat nothing you see.
148. When people ask if they can have your phone number (or anything else of yours) say you'll have to talk to your lawyer first.
149. Ask people what the word "the" means.
150. Ask strangers where babies come from.
151. Ramble at people in Russian.
152. If they understand you, knock them unconscious with a Wrench.
153. Or a Candlestick.
154. Or a Lead Pipe.
155. Talk about soap opera characters as if they are real.
156. Pretend video games are real.
157. Chop down telephone poles.
158. Drive a large vacuum down the road.
159. Or try a ride-on lawn mower.
160. Repeat something.
161. Repeat something.
162. Repeatedly give your friends lists of ways to be annoying.
163. Make up unreasonable stories and try to get people to believe you.
164. Sell iceboxes to people in Alaska.
165. Take over the world.
166. Show people that you can count to a million.
167. Tell people you’ll be a DJ when you grow up.
168. Purposely stand in someone’s way until they get the nerve to ask you to move.
169. Laugh at everything someone says especially right in the middle of sentences.
170. Laugh and point at someone for no reason.
171. Stop talking in the middle of
172. Erect a 50-foot billboard in front of your house.
173. Insist that French West Africa still exists.
174. Tell people that you are from the Afrika Corps.
175. Tell people that you can't do that because it is against your religion.
176. Drive on the wrong side of the road.
177. Don't tip the guy who parks your car at an elegant restaurant.
178. Tell people the truth (whether it is what they want to hear or not.).
>179. Put > symbols before all lines >in an e-mail.
180. When walking down a sidewalk, walk into people. When they try to get out of the way, move in their way.
181. Ask people questions as you walk with them.
182. Launch bottle rockets into your neighbor's yard and then declare war.
183. .sdrawkcab etirW
184. Drive into the back-ends of others and tell them that you thought that it was bumper cars.
185. Dress in all one color.
186. Ask people what they want to be when they grow up.
187. Go to work with the flu.
188. Burn fiction books.
189. Have a powwow in Red Square.
190. Cut down your neighbors’ trees and tell them that you are clearing the old growth so that there isn't a forest fire.
191. Don't answer your phone.
192. Don't read your mail.
193. Put no trespassing signs up in your yard.
194. Pour "Lawn Be-gone" on your neighbor's lawn.
195. Park your car in the middle of the road so no one can get to where they want to go.
196. Cut your grass at three in the morning.
197.Wear a cowboy hat inside public buildings.
198. Put plastic explosives inside the abandoned building down the street from where you live and set them off at three in the morning.
0199. Put zeros before numbers and tell people that they look good there.
200. Shine very bright light into people's eyes.
201. Post bio-hazard signs in your yard.
202. Pronounce numbers such as .4 as forty hundredths instead of four tenths.
203. Send the same e-mail through 3 or 4 times.
204. Send it through again.
205. Ask someone the same question over, and over again. When they finally tell you to shut up and that you've asked them that question already ten times, tell them, "I was just going to ask you that."
206. Wear a "for sale" sign around your neck.
207. Place a sign stating: "Could be radioactive" on your lawn.
208. Bleach your hair, just so you can look stupid.
209. Wear two-toned shoes.
210. Tell people that there is a right way and a wrong way to eat a potato.
211. Loan out empty pens.
212. Type in bright green size 3 font.
213. Put magnets up to disks; say that it is an experiment to see whether something will happen to it.
214. Laugh at stuff that isn't funny at all.
215. Don't laugh at stuff that is funny.
216. When making a list of annoying things for your friend to edit, skip numbers so they have to create annoying things themselves.
217. Call people, then hang up on them when they pick up.
218. Wear sunglasses in the night.
219. Make up jokes that make no sense whatsoever.
220. Devise a plan to take over the world.
221. Cough on others.
222. Sneeze over, and over, and over again.
223. Fall asleep while someone is talking to you.
224. W
r
i
t
e
D
o
w
n!!!
225. Go to bookstores to read their books without buying them.
226. Change the rules in the middle of a game.
227. Tell people to "Beware the ides of March."
228. Talk very loudly in public.
229. Teach photosynthesis to your friends.
230. Without words.
231. Try to find an acute angle that doesn’t measure between 0 and 90 degrees.
232. Walk really slowly.
233. Sing in Gaelic or other strange languages.
234. Slobber on tablecloths in restaurants.
235. Whistle incessantly.
236. Talk to people while they are concentrating on something else.
237. Format all the disks in your house "for fun".
238. Type reports in some really strange font such as "French Script MT".
239. Don't do what you are told to.
240. abbr. wds (Abbreviate words).
241.Point at people with extremely large ears.
242. Park in the handicapped section and if you get a ticket, say that you are mentally handicapped and that's probably why you parked there anyway.
243. Pronounce words incorrectly.
244. Talk during a movie.
245. Cannonball into a 3-foot deep pool.
246. Ring someone's doorbell, then run away. When they answer the door, call them from your cellular phone.
247. Write very very long run on sentences that can be very very confusing to read.
248. Write stories in prose.
249. Become nocturnal. Sleep in class.
250. Write a poem about annoying things.
251. When reading, pause briefly after each comma, period, semi-colon, or any other form of punctuation.
252. Ignore people when they talk to you, and then start talking to them.
253. Bring your 160-lb pig into a friend’s house, and laugh as it demolishes their house.
254. Scream for absolutely no reason.
255. Drop things.
256. Buy a mansion, a Knife, a Rope, a Revolver, a Wrench, a Lead Pipe, and a Candlestick, and then invite six friends over for some fun.
257. Play "Spot the Car" everywhere you go. Rules: when you see a car pass your vehicle, scream "THERE’S A CAR!" and if it’s not a car, then don’t yell. Especially fun with hyper people.
258. Play hide-and-seek alone.
259. Remodel every room in your house to look like a bathroom.
260. Remodel every room in someone else’s house to look like a bathroom.
261. Stare at someone across the room.
262. Run into restaurants, insist that green Jell-O is after you and you need to hide in the kitchen.
263. Tell people to "Watch where I’m going."
264. Read aloud at the library.
265. Hold your own million-man march.
266. Have a discussion over the Pythagorean Theorem.
267. Watch and discuss boring movies.
268. Bring your own condiments to restaurants for "sanitary reasons."
269. Perform the macarena.
270. Escribe en español cuándo todos no comprenden.
271. Write a paper comprised entirely of footnotes/endnotes.
272. Borrow your neighbor’s lawn mower in the winter.
273. Have a bonfire indoors.
274. Suck up to somebody.
275. Spell potato like Dan Quayle.
276. Become an architect and design a room with no doors.
277. Scientifically discover the meaning of life.
278. Wear a white coat and talk loudly to yourself.
279. Send chain letters and sign your name.
280. Go to a foreign country and tell people they talk funny.
281. Smack people in the back and say you wanted to see if their face stuck that way.
282. Write a paper comprised of cliches.
283. Be a hyper junior high teacher that drinks too much Diet Coke (we’ll never forget you, Miss LeRoux!).
284. Ride a pogo stick indoors.
285. And wear a beanie.
286. Break promises.
287. Explain jokes.
288. Create a shrine to some evil person.
289. Write things that makes no sense.
290. Reenact a war in your house.
291. Tell people you’re a circus freak.
292. Tell people you want to be a circus freak.
293. Be a circus freak.
294. Triple space a report or use size 28 font, or both.
295. Fake your death.
296. Search for a vaccine for stupidity.
297. Give IOU’s as birthday presents.
298. Use Word to draw a picture instead of paint.
299. Say the word "Jeepers!" or "Golly!" after everything someone says.
300. Steal things from your friends in front of their face.
301. Promise you’ll return them, then follow rule 286.
302. Breathe really loud.
303. Test drive new cars just for fun.
304. Write a very long book about some people in England and France.
305. Make sure that the book has a stupid ending too.
306. Sing along when listening to the radio.
307. Carry around a briefcase in school.
308. Wear a lot of make-up.
309. Buy a siren and turn it on as you drive down the road.
310. When people ask you questions, answer: "I can't remember."
311. Loan people money and charge 25% interest per month.
312. Make people sign a contract to borrow a pen.
313-320. Ways to be annoying in Australia:
Point at someone with your index finger.
Yawn without covering your mouth.
Or excusing yourself.
Blow your nose in public.
Make the peace sign.
Wink at women.
Touch someone while talking to them.
Walk between two talking people.
321. Randomly disconnect yourself from AOL.
322. Ask idiot questions for spite.
323. Ask people to get to the point because you'd rather not listen.
324. Ask "What if" questions every 3 seconds.
325. Scribble in someone's books as if they were coloring books.
326. Buy an Australian hockey team.
327. Spell e-mail addresses wrong so people never get the message.
328. IM someone every day.
329. Define words using the word in the definition.
330. Say "whoops" a lot.
331 State the obvious.
332. Say "Duh!" after everything someone says.
333. Fire a 21 cannon salute at 3 in the morning
334. Electrocute stuff.
335. Randoly omt leters frm yor sentencs.
336. Pretend to be a mime.
337. Build a large steeple atop your house and ring the bell accordingly for every hour.
338. Shine a large floodlight into your neighbor’s bedroom at two in the morning.
339. Tell corny jokes to someone and guffaw at them until you cough and sputter all over the unlucky person.
340. Be smarter than me.
341. Be dumber than me.
342. Pull coins out from unsuspecting victims' ears.
343. Drink fingernail polish for breakfast.
344. Show everyone you know your "deformed frog collection" from Mrs. Yats.
345. Make jokes about death and laugh as if they are hilariously funny.
346. Shred your parent's tax receipts before April 15.
347. Wear neon pink spandex outfits everywhere.
348. Go to the library, and randomly rearrange the books.
349. Go to the bookstore, and randomly rearrange the books.
350. Take all of the toilet paper in the restrooms out and use it to decorate your enemy's trees.
351. Make sure to get it up to the top.
352. Make hand gestures about every 2 seconds while talking to someone.
353. Spin in circles and get dizzy for an excuse to crash into people.
354. Or simply crash into people.
355. Chew on everything you find.
356. Play poker in class/on the job.
357. Stack the deck in euchre until someone realizes that you received three lone hands in a row.
358. Play "20,000 Questions."
359. Invent a game that is so stupid and pointless that everyone wins and no one cares.
360. Mumble to yourself while giving a presentation.
361. Pause a second after every word and 5 seconds after every sentence while giving a report.
362. Make advertisements about your family vacation.
363. Invent a game that is so violent/messy that the contestants are unrecognizable after playing.
364. Complain that "the game cheats."
365. Have five eights in your hand when playing crazy eights.
366. Play B.S. with two people.
367. Put two hotels on Boardwalk.
368. Make Kings and Aces wild in poker.
369. Blow up coral reefs.
370. At 1:00 in the morning.
371. Run boats into coral, and perhaps drops anchors on them.
372. Be proud of it.
373. Own a 55-gallon drum of poison.
374. Put it on display.
375. Pollute.
376. Smile sweetly enough of cause tooth decay.
377. Secede from your country.
378. Count the number of annoying things you’ve done.
379. Criticize these rules.
380. Mow your lawn in the rain.
381. Throw a gallon of ice cream in someone’s swimming pool.
382. Question everything someone says.
383. Create a bogus tourist attraction.
384. Point the blame elsewhere.
385. Take a vacation in a motorhome and call it camping.
386. Install central air in your tent.
387. Create a series about nothing and cancel it while it’s number one.
388. Try to prove a postulate.
389. Invent your own language.
390. Never speak for yourself.
391. Start a cult.
392. Possess someone.
393. Shoot your neighbor’s dog with a silver bullet and claim you thought it was a werewolf.
394. Melt people without permission.
395. Take the credit from someone.
396. Write a mystery with no solution.
397. Carry a Lead Pipe around.
398. Show off a lot.
399. Whine constantly.
400. Cheer for people that do their homework correctly.
401. Desperately search for ways to be annoying.
402. Name your daughter Gertrude or some other old name.
403. Use potato chips instead of poker chips.
404. Eat the ante.
405. Be too nice.
406. Be too perfect.
407. Drool in a book.
408. Try to rub your eyes with your elbow.
409. Tell people where to put their feet.
410. Wear a 3 foot high hat everywhere.
411. B. S. a report.
412. Place arsenic with your spices.
413. Don’ use he leer "".
414. Make a story with no point.
415. Fish with dynamite.
416. Hunt with dynamite.
417. Build a house out of dynamite.
418. Put it on the real estate market.
419. Begin a franchise of shops that sell jewelry and frozen yogurt.
420. Use the Wingdings font for anything and everything.
421. Attempt to decode the Wingdings font.
422. Set every clock you see ahead four hours.
423. Create a rental movie of static.
424. Tape a thumbtack to your doorbell.
425. Encourage people to sleep on beds of pointy needles.
426. Laugh aloud at a book.
427. Laugh aloud at this book.
428. Barge into a conversation.
429. Constantly change the subject.
430. Send e-mails one letter at a time.
431. Send a friend a COD for his/her birthday.
432. Tape episodes of "Barney and Friends."
433. Contradict yourself. No, don’t…
434. Create a business card without owning a business.
435. Yell at your TV when a contestant chooses the wrong letter on "Wheel of Fortune."
436. Ask questions you know no one can answer.
437. Fake a hyperventilation.
438. Never brush your teeth.
439. Chew with your mouth open.
440. Talk with food in your mouth.
441. Scrape silverware against your teeth.
442. Repeat phrase frequently.
443. Smile smugly.
444. Print 6 copies of everything.
445. Change the default setting in word to Wingdings, size 3, yellow, with three inch margins all around.
446. Pull pranks on May 1st because "April Fools Day is too predictable."
447. Ask people what their pet peeves are and then perform them.
448. Ask too many questions.
449. Yell really loud.
450. Raise you voice five octaves when you’re annoyed.
451. Talk inaudibly.
452. Make excuses.
453. Sue people. Waste our time. And your money.
454. Torture people by hanging them by their toenails.
455. Sink large ships.
456. Tell people they are possessed by an evil entity.
457. Point people in the wrong direction.
458. Jump on someone else’s bed.
459. Serve pink chicken.
460. Return restaurant food because it’s too plain.
461. Refuse to pay a restaurant bill.
462. Break everything in a restaurant.
463. Find flaws in people.
464. Prove people wrong.
465. If you can’t, insist they’re wrong anyway.
466. Build and open another McDonalds.
467. Put someone out of business.
468. Settle disputes by dueling.
469. Tell people they’re rude.
470. Forget everything.
471. Be greedy.
472. Scare people.
473. Be sarcastic. It’s fun.
474. Be gullible.
475. Wash your car in the rain.
476. Constantly chew on tin foil.
477. Say it’s good for you.
478. Write "Kick me" on the backs of someone’s shirt.
479. Be completely ignorant of the world.
480. Shove people out of trees.
481. Shove people down stairs.
482. While they’re in a wheelchair.
483. Sit outside in the dead of winter under pine trees.
484. Pour acid on your lawn so weeds don’t grow.
485. Name any and all of your children Gene Finny.
486. Name someone so their initials spell a word.
487. Accuse people of being insane.
488. Or be insane yourself.
489. Run like Forrest Gump.
490. Jump hurdles in the snow.
491. Wave your crutches at everyone you know--or don’t know.
492. Tell people to "hurry."
493. Or "hurry faster."
494. Tell people to run while they’re wearing skis.
495. Ask everyone who Crispian is and why he has scars.
496. Fake a world War.
497. Speak in Latin.
498. Wear a tie as a belt.
499. Hold your own Olympics.
500. With trash cans and snowshoe races.
501. In the summer.
502. Demand people call you psycho.
503. Then say they’re lying.
504. Mispronounce someone’s first name.
505. Curl up and sleep in the snow.
506. In the summer.
507. Applaud for no reason.
508. Make people write critical analyses for no reason.
509. Compare and contrast people in different works for no reason.
510. Own a dozen empty ink pens.
511. Hide behind dead bushes in the winter.
512. Convince people you are invisible.
513. Change writing utensils in the middle of a paper.
514. Mock a courtroom.
515. Be a biased judge.
516. Pick unripened fruit and sell it.
517. Sell heaters in Arizona.
518. Lend pencils with broken leads.
519. Insist they don’t sharpen them.
520. Wear down the tips on markers.
521. Take all the lead out of borrowed mechanical pencils.
522. Assume all girls are named Sally and all boys are Fred.
523. Lock yourself out of your car.
524. Use duct tape to repair everything.
525. Call authority figures by first name.
526. Always assume.
527. Always plead the Fifth Amendment.
528. Ignore lawn maintenance.
529. Protest violence with bombs and 55-gallon tanks of cyanide.
530. Spit at people.
531. Step on the backs of people’s shoes.
532. Watch a movie and see it again, telling people what will happen.
533. Print reports on black construction paper.
534. Jump on you neighbor’s trampoline when you have your own.
535. Have an idiot sister.
536. That is also a brat.
537. Attack people with glue.
538. Send hate mail and sign your name on it.
539. Disorganize someone.
540. Force people to read this.
541. Practice faking an injury in front of someone.
542. Then really get injured.
543. Cry "wolf" in down town New York.
544. Smack people with rulers.
545. Tap pens on desks.
546. Copy copyrighted things.
547. Run amok.
548. Stand someone up.
549. Pretend you know complete strangers.
550. Treat someone out to dinner, but with a five dollar budget.
551. Read these aloud over and over.
552. Laugh every time.
553. Get people in trouble for no reason.
554. Hold down computer keys.
555. Rip the last 10 pages out of every book.
556. At movie theaters when someone asks you if they can sit in the seat besides you, start screaming that you friend is sitting there.
557. During math class say, "I don't understand."
558. Then say it again.
559. Catch a cold and sniff incessantly.
560. Lock your sister or brother out of your house- leaving a note that says, "HA! HA! You can't get in."
561. When you call your friends and they aren't home, start conversations with their parents.
562. Run around your neighborhood screaming at the top of your lungs, "HE is here, because I failed HIM!!"
563. Never let anyone know what he or she wants to know.


There is a lot of stuff above. If you actually sat there and read it all, I must applaud you. And thank you. I hope you had a good laugh. I know I did!!!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The Long Way Home by Dashel reviews
A year after their prophesised battle Naruto and Sasuke meet up for the first time since then,coming to in a destroyed area of wood,no memory of how they got there,where 'there' is or if they can trust the other long enough to band together and get home.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 60 - Words: 446,184 - Reviews: 1830 - Favs: 709 - Follows: 824 - Updated: 4/18 - Published: 5/22/2012 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Not Just Another Fake Boyfriend Story by SoapMaster reviews
Sasuke Uchiha's life was never normal. Neither was Naruto Uzumaki's. But as soon as Sasuke made that proposition, things started going to hell. Warnings: mental disease, sexual assault, alcoholism, and organized crime. NaruSasuNaru with side pairings.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 45 - Words: 336,187 - Reviews: 572 - Favs: 321 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 11/11/2010 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.] - Complete
Naruto: Vampire by Fiend Maz reviews
Naruto thought being himself was good enough for him. But when Sasuke got in the picture, he found that life was way more blissful when you spent it with another. SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 11 - Words: 36,617 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 146 - Updated: 7/20/2014 - Published: 6/30/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
One Mistake by Dark Calamity of Princess reviews
One mistake will change your entire life. Naruto did one. And the victim was Gaara. What will they do? The summary is sucks, but I hope the story is better. NaruGaa, MPreg, Lemon, grammatical error, Rape. Please RnR!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 65,400 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 213 - Updated: 2/18/2014 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Naruto U., Gaara
Spa Time by x.Mrs.ItachiUchiha.x reviews
LEMON! yaoi, SasuNaru. What happens when Sakura takes Naruto out for a day at the spa, and a certain raven haired masseur happens to catch his attention? UPDATED/REVISED.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,977 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 28 - Updated: 11/10/2013 - Published: 8/31/2011 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.] - Complete
Vibrations by x.Mrs.ItachiUchiha.x reviews
Sasuke x Naruto LEMON! What happens when Naruto's phone starts vibrating in the middle of an exam, when a horny Uchiha is watching him like a hawk. UPDATED/REVISED.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,985 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 38 - Updated: 11/8/2013 - Published: 8/20/2011 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.] - Complete
Secrets of Princess Naruto by plussizedangel reviews
Naruto has been forced to become a female star, how much longer can he keep it up? Well if a no good stranger named Sasuke has anything to say about it, not that long. rated M for language and lemons/ limes YAOI Give it a read I think you'll like! REVIEW
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 46,901 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 77 - Updated: 7/28/2013 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Lessons To Be Learned by smartcat reviews
You would think growing up would have an effect on a certain Blonde and Raven haired Uchiha. Think again. Those two may have PhDs but apparently, it proves nothing. Genius Professors, Moronic People. SasuNaru back in original form
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 26 - Words: 152,909 - Reviews: 1160 - Favs: 688 - Follows: 821 - Updated: 6/24/2013 - Published: 12/19/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Nosediving by Mochalicious reviews
Naruto makes a risky move on Sasuke that sends their "friendship" nosediving into a sad end or perhaps an erotic new beginning. For those of you who believe Naruto is the seme! Rated M for Uchimaki lemons n' limes!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 87,583 - Reviews: 147 - Favs: 107 - Follows: 155 - Updated: 5/29/2013 - Published: 8/3/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Misunderstandings by Dashel reviews
After getting an anonymous love letter, Naruto wants to know who might have given it to him and what it might lead to or mean. But his ideals of romance get a little sidetracked when he realises that his ideal girl might in fact be his ideal guy instead after a game of proving a point where attraction is concerned goes a little too far.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,420 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 82 - Updated: 4/17/2013 - Published: 3/21/2013 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Marked For Life by PhoenixDiamond reviews
Naruto was leaving from a long day of school and night of work when he comes across an injured person or creature in an allyway. As odd as it sounds, he didn't know whether to be horrified by the fur covered person or turned on. NekoSasu/Naru. AU. Humor.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 75,185 - Reviews: 353 - Favs: 285 - Follows: 408 - Updated: 4/4/2013 - Published: 6/28/2012 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Remember Me by Dashel reviews
Sasuke loses his memory while fighting Naruto and is put into Naruto's care in Konoha while he recovers and tries to regain his memory. But is regaining his memory the best thing for Sasuke or would be better living out the rest of his life unaware?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 23 - Words: 135,330 - Reviews: 689 - Favs: 575 - Follows: 390 - Updated: 2/13/2013 - Published: 10/26/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
My Racing Heart by Niveously reviews
Sasuke decides to go online and starts chatting with this Naruto guy.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 21 - Words: 48,988 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 494 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 11/26/2012 - Published: 6/25/2012 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Is This What You Want? by ILoveMaids reviews
Library:PWP. Naruto and Gaara find a new and exciting use for the local library. And to say the least, it's not appropriate for young readers. GaaxNaru. BoyxBoy. Lemon. Yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,578 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 16 - Published: 10/9/2012 - Gaara, Naruto U. - Complete
Lights Out by NaruSasuNaruLover reviews
Naruto and Sasuke hated each other in high school. What happens when in college they are roomed together? How about when the power goes out and one is afraid? AU, NaruSasu, Rating to be safe. Reposted
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 57 - Words: 127,475 - Reviews: 1258 - Favs: 944 - Follows: 341 - Updated: 8/22/2012 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Judge and Jury by FanggirlX reviews
Naruto has been best friends with Sasuke almost all his life unknowingly in love with him all the time His heart breaks when Sasuke's in love with someone else But Naruto's new friend Gaara the scary goth at school may be the answer to his unsaid prayer
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 33,901 - Reviews: 184 - Favs: 153 - Follows: 222 - Updated: 8/15/2012 - Published: 2/11/2011 - Gaara, Naruto U.
Look At Me by Chiyume reviews
Kiba goes to the local bar, determined to get drunk off his ass, but doesn't even seem to be capable of such an easy feat when suddenly he gets accompanied by none other than the school prodigy Neji Hyuuga. But what interest could someone like Neji have at a bar at this hour, and why is he buying Kiba beer?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,784 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/8/2012 - Neji H., Kiba I. - Complete
Life Starts Now by NaruSasuNaruLover reviews
NaruSasu Sasuke had been hardened by his life; he built walls up to protect himself. When he goes to college he meets his roommate, Naruto, who wants nothing more than to tear his walls down. Reposted/Revised
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 31 - Words: 81,835 - Reviews: 428 - Favs: 338 - Follows: 212 - Updated: 7/17/2012 - Published: 12/28/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Seductively A Secret by tomathefox reviews
Naruto and Kiba love each other a LOT, but Naruto doesn't want to get that serious. However, their compassion may grow after Akamaru, Kiba's dog, goes missing one morning, and one of the pair gets kidnapped. Hard Kiba/Naru Shino/Gaara
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 17,505 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 7/1/2012 - Published: 1/11/2009 - Naruto U., Kiba I. - Complete
Start Again by deline89 reviews
Sasuke is a homeless young man, after an accident his life is dramatically altered... NaruSasu, rated M for later chappies.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 21 - Words: 39,720 - Reviews: 175 - Favs: 138 - Follows: 215 - Updated: 6/7/2012 - Published: 6/16/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
The Fishing Trip by Samhain Eve reviews
Naruto goes over to Kiba's for a fishing trip and other things happen. Warning: YAOI! COMPLETE.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,580 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 52 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 6/7/2012 - Published: 10/6/2011 - Kiba I., Naruto U. - Complete
Renewing Changes by Fourangers reviews
"Oh crap." Muttered the blond. Sometimes, there's something worse than one-night stands. It's called we're-doing-this-because-we're-going-to-die-tomorrow desperate sex. Too bad they didn't in the end. NaruSasu, AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 15 - Words: 129,940 - Reviews: 283 - Favs: 575 - Follows: 323 - Updated: 5/22/2012 - Published: 8/28/2010 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
She Doesn't Know by Tripptych reviews
Sasuke doesn't like Naruto's new girlfriend. NaruSasu, AU, Yaoi, BoyxBoy, Graphic.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,435 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 89 - Follows: 13 - Published: 5/4/2012 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Water Sprayers Don't Work by singingrain reviews
Kiba crashes at Shino's place and his 'animal instincts' seem to kick in, especially at night. Warnings: Sleep molestation. Randomness. AU. ShinoKiba.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,284 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 6 - Published: 5/2/2012 - Kiba I., Shino A. - Complete
Taste of Your Lips by PhoenixDiamond reviews
Naruto's always had his mind set on his goals & he'll stop at nothing to get it done. But with expenses running high he's going to need to find another job. Unfortunately that new job might involve working for an egotistic jerk. Sasu/Naru. Neji/Naru AU. SUPER EDITING IN PROGRESS
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 150,817 - Reviews: 1118 - Favs: 1,007 - Follows: 445 - Updated: 4/15/2012 - Published: 10/2/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Dreams Aren't Real by Dashel reviews
Naruto is dreaming about Sasuke every night. Is this a chance to make peace with his old friend before the end or something else entirely?
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 71,840 - Reviews: 406 - Favs: 514 - Follows: 210 - Updated: 4/10/2012 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Confrontation 2 by Clashedncut13 reviews
The tension between Edward and Jacob continues. When Jacob is injured in the battle against the newborns, Edward cannot stop himself.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,072 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 53 - Follows: 8 - Published: 4/7/2012 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Borrowed, Not Stolen by Infinite Vibrance reviews
It's all fun and games until a heart gets broken. SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 48,034 - Reviews: 95 - Favs: 160 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 3/1/2012 - Published: 1/15/2012 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Day In, Day Out by HowDoYouDoop reviews
In a busy city Uchiha Sasuke is a slave watching the world of the free pass by him. One day a young man stops at his window and strikes up a conversation. Talking is all well and good, but what can this blonde haired, blue eyed stranger do for Sasuke? ((TW:rape))
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 47,237 - Reviews: 187 - Favs: 250 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 2/20/2012 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
One Good Turn Deserves Another by caeseria reviews
Kakashi intends to continue his wooing of Iruka with a romantic picnic by the lake. Unfortunately, the lake is located inside the Forest of Death, where anything could be lurking... This story has tentacles, by the way. Just a heads-up! Iruka/Kakashi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,748 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/14/2012 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
KIS by caeseria reviews
Iruka comes back from a bad mission and needs to take the edge off. Shikaku and Kakashi are more than happy to help out. Kakashi/Iruka/Nara Shikaku Oh, and total misuse of the Nara shadow Jutsu ahead, btw ;
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,959 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 35 - Follows: 4 - Published: 2/4/2012 - Kakashi H., Iruka U. - Complete
Every time I hear his name by Tripptych reviews
Deidara lusts for a man he can't have and beds a man he doesn't want. KyuDeiIta, Threesome, Graphic Yaoi, AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,828 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/29/2012 - Deidara, Kyuubi/Kurama - Complete
I've Never by THE KYO reviews
"Fine, just one round." Gaara remembered those words, as he stood in his bathroom, looking over his nude form in confusion. What the hell did I do last night? YAOI Happy Birthday Gaara!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,401 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 10 - Published: 1/19/2012 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
The Wedding Planner by N a i. K i r e i. Y u k i reviews
My wedding planner is a complete dobe… He's loud, annoying, and forgetful… But the worst part about the situation is that… I think I'm falling in love with him. Great. Sasuke/Naruto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 11 - Words: 53,282 - Reviews: 378 - Favs: 689 - Follows: 312 - Updated: 1/12/2012 - Published: 12/3/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
A Favor by Yaoi Addicts Anonymous reviews
What's a boy to do when he promises to bring a hot date home but can't actually deliver? Why, 'nicely' convince his best friend to do him a favor of course! But it's not as easy as they thought it would be to pretend, nor is it all fun and games. NaruSasu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 13 - Words: 47,065 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 238 - Follows: 372 - Updated: 1/7/2012 - Published: 4/9/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Love and Shooting Stars by wastedaddiction reviews
A wish on a shooting star gets Morinaga exactly what he wants, but at a price...
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,882 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 12/15/2011 - Published: 3/9/2011 - Morinaga T., Souichi T.
Dumb Dares Revisited by CloudNineKitty reviews
Naruto and his friends play a game at the office. What Naruto didn't know was that this game was going to change his life in more ways than one. SasuNaru, KakaIru, NejiGaa, ItaKisaIta & more
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 16,341 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 196 - Follows: 241 - Updated: 11/28/2011 - Published: 6/8/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Excuses by Kyogou reviews
Tatsumi has had enough of Morinaga's 'perverted' ways and decides the perfect way to extract his revenge is to follow the golden rule. Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,078 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 11/24/2011 - Published: 5/22/2011 - Morinaga T., Souichi T.
Benevolent by Vixxey reviews
Orphans who find everything they never had amongst each other. Yaoi. NaruSasu. (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 8 - Words: 17,958 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 11/12/2011 - Published: 9/27/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Getting It by AiDan-Kurai reviews
It's Ino and Sakura's wedding and Naruto doesn't have a date, until Kiba gets an idea...sexy prostitut- i mean escorts! this is what happens when you listen to kiba- SasuNaru, NejiKiba,
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 32,902 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 82 - Follows: 145 - Updated: 11/6/2011 - Published: 3/31/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Loving Trim by Alexia Featherchild reviews
They're already a couple and its been awhile since they've seen each other and Souichi is in need of a trim. What will happen when Tetsuhiro returns and gives him one? Will it end like last time or will it get just a bit more satisfying for them? ONE SHOT
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,801 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/20/2011 - [Morinaga T., Souichi T.] - Complete
Truth or Dare? by ActuallyNevis reviews
Graveyard shift in the Mission room. Genma and Iruka get drunk and start playing Truth or Dare. Prequel to Mistaken Identity. Iruka x Genma. Yaoi. One-shot. COMPLETE!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,632 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 5 - Published: 10/17/2011 - Genma S., Iruka U. - Complete
Gives You Hell by NaruSasuNaruLover reviews
NaruSasu contains an over protective Itachi. At times he wondered why he moved in next to his ex, then he remembered how fun it is to see him get mad.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,780 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/4/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
It's Always Sunny In Konoha by ActuallyNevis reviews
AU. Iruka is co-manager for Uchiha Insurance Company. Kakashi is Executive Chef at ANBU, a hip restaurant. Iruka agrees to start dating Kakashi to get someone else to notice him. Problem is, Kakashi is falling for him. Yaoi. KakaIru Updated weekly.
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 23,741 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 120 - Updated: 9/25/2011 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Kakashi H., Iruka U.
Pipes by CloudNineKitty reviews
Naruto is alone in his apartment when he realizes that he can hear the man upstairs singing through the pipes in the bathroom. Is it possible to start a relationship based on how much you like someone's voice? SasuNaru, AU, TWO-SHOT, Naru & Sasu POVs
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 29,514 - Reviews: 151 - Favs: 938 - Follows: 96 - Updated: 9/9/2011 - Published: 6/13/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Icha Icha Matchmaker! by ActuallyNevis reviews
What happens when Kakashi and Iruka play matchmaker to get Shikamaru and Kiba together? Will love sprout? Will hihijinks insue? Only time can tell! ShikamaruxKiba KakashixIruka...Yaoi..Sequel to The Space Between Two Worlds COMPLETE!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,826 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 44 - Updated: 8/31/2011 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Shikamaru N., Kiba I. - Complete
Stay Up With Me by Rubee Kay reviews
"You know what? I don't usually wear pants to bed anyway," he slurred.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,426 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/25/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Last Minute Love SasuNaru by Rikku Lawliet reviews
A yaoi paring of SASUNARU so in this story they go to high school. All except for a certain Uchiha who graduates early and becomes..A SENSEI! Follow this funny -and graphic- FanFic of SasuNaru while sasuke and naruto try to find love as teacher & student. [THIS STORY IS OLD, HAS SPELLING ERRORS, AND I DON'T CARE FOR IT. I WILL NOT EDIT IT, AND I MAY DELETE THIS STORY LATER.]
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 10 - Words: 16,802 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 68 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/21/2011 - Published: 2/9/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Definitely Worth It by BitterSweet4137 reviews
The last thought to go through his mind before he was exploded into a world of pain was, 'Yes Naruto was definitely worth it.'
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,060 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 73 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/20/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Scent Of My Heart by dusk-pixie reviews
When a situation at work leads Sasuke to bring home Naruto, a fox hybrid who has a thing for his scent, what will ensue? Explicit adult content; hybrid!Naruto; yaoi malexmale ; kemonomimi; mature; lemon; au; rated MA
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 33,551 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 387 - Follows: 114 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 3/8/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
The Bad Boy and The Baby by Makkura Arashi reviews
Uchiha Sasuke gets engaged to Uzumaki Naruto the Hokage's son, who doesn't want this. When he gets the Hokage's son preggers..how will the marriage work out? Will they be able to make the sacrifices needed? Yaoi, Mpreg, SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 15 - Words: 60,429 - Reviews: 648 - Favs: 645 - Follows: 457 - Updated: 8/20/2011 - Published: 10/16/2006 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Right Thurr by Tripptych reviews
Naruto get's caught dancing, right thurr. SasuNaru, NaruSasu Yaoi, just a one shot.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,076 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/17/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Behind Closed Doors by Kandakicksass reviews
Sasuke has been sneaking out at night, and Naruto wants to know why. The thing is, he never expected THIS. Full pairing list inside. ORGY!FIC
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,221 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 104 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/14/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
An Uchiha's Striving by bevino reviews
Sasuke is so in love with Naruto - his hard-on even poked the dobe's spine... too bad he's socially handicapped. Sasuke now has to go through every cliché in the book to make Naruto his... AU-ish, NaruSasu! Featuring: Romance! Drama! Parody! and Humor!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,483 - Reviews: 134 - Favs: 91 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 8/12/2011 - Published: 5/22/2009 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Teach Me How by silvergray1358 reviews
What most people didn't know was that Edward was a good teacher. Alphonse knew this better than anyone else.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,619 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 13 - Published: 8/9/2011 - Edward E., Alphonse E. - Complete
Hysteria by Silver Moon Lit Forest reviews
"Enjoy your nap, Nara?" The deep voice sent shivers down his spine and he froze mid-stretch. The lazy teen cracked open one chocolate eye to peer at the annoyed face of his teacher. PWP
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,377 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Kiba I., Shikamaru N. - Complete
The Oldest Joke in the Book by TsunadeJr71 reviews
Iruka's hard at work, Kakashi's feeling mischievous and just how many shinobi does it take to change a light bulb? Warnings for Yaoi - rated M.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,605 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 84 - Follows: 10 - Published: 8/7/2011 - Kakashi H., Iruka U. - Complete
Erogenous by The Raven and the Fox reviews
"You're always preening, you conceited bastard." NaruSasu, lemon, kemonomimi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,917 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 260 - Follows: 27 - Published: 8/3/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Hollow High by Prince-Malice reviews
GaaNaru FanDAY! They can broadcast as many high school shows as they can imagine, but nothing can quite draw the same reaction from others as the real struggle taking place in hollow halls. M, Slash, AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 36,818 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 117 - Follows: 19 - Published: 8/1/2011 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
Photo Shoot by NaruSasuNaruLover reviews
Sometimes the person you fall in love with is the last person you'd expect. Naruto never thought he'd fall for Sasuke; will having to work together change his mind? NaruSasu KyuuItaKyuu AU
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 67,223 - Reviews: 645 - Favs: 527 - Follows: 273 - Updated: 7/20/2011 - Published: 3/12/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Mistaken Identity by ActuallyNevis reviews
Iruka begins receiving bizzare deliveries for things he didn't order. It's a case of Mistaken Identity. Or is it? An amusing, bawdy, clever, devious romp! Yaoi. Kakashi x Iruka. Lemon. One-shot. Sequel to Truth or Dare. COMPLETE!
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,633 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 9 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Iruka U., Kakashi H. - Complete
The ABC'S Of Love by TanukiRaccoon reviews
Something is distracting the top student at The Academy, his grades are slipping. Uzumaki-sensei knows what it is, and he decides to take it away, despite the student's protests. yaoi smut etc
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,534 - Reviews: 75 - Favs: 544 - Follows: 82 - Published: 7/7/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Altered States by VioletWylde reviews
Sasuke knew how he felt about Naruto, but fear kept him from acting. What happens when those fears are locked away? When suppressed feelings are allowed to surface? A mysterious extra credit assignment may provide opportunity. AU. Yaoi. Lemons & language.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 27 - Words: 104,266 - Reviews: 838 - Favs: 761 - Follows: 288 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 3/13/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
You're Mine by TayaUtada reviews
This is a SasuNaru and a vampire oneshot. So if you don't like yaoi or boyxboy please do not read this. Inside there is bad language, sex, vampires, and yaoi.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Supernatural/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,173 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 24 - Published: 6/19/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
LIFE by CharmedSasuke101 reviews
Sasuke has a hard time at school and home and Naruto Uzumaki and his mates don't make it any easier. This will all change and Naruto and Sasuke will discover feeilngs neither thought they would ever have. NaruSasu, OroSasu and others. Warnings inside.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 6 - Words: 16,169 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 6/16/2011 - Published: 3/6/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U.
Wicked game by grandlinegirl reviews
Sasuke convinces Naruto to have a little fun during a movie. Warnings: language and smex
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,345 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 7 - Published: 6/7/2011 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Blind Date by remioromen1344 reviews
AU. Naruto's friends set him up on a blind date. What he finds is totally unexpected. Is there more going on than meets the eye? SasuNaruSasu
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,383 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 6/7/2011 - Published: 5/3/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The Bet by Katey chan reviews
Sasuke had no idea what he was getting into when he agreed to Neji's bet. He had never expected in a million years would he ever fall for the blonde dobe, but he did. Some Love, Angst, Eventual Lemon, and Sakura bashing!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 14 - Words: 31,173 - Reviews: 221 - Favs: 325 - Follows: 179 - Updated: 6/6/2011 - Published: 10/21/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Just a Suggestion by wastedaddiction reviews
Souichi makes a bet with Morinaga to keep him off his back, but Souichi ends up paying.
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,974 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 70 - Updated: 6/6/2011 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Souichi T., Morinaga T.
Sensitive by wastedaddiction reviews
Doesnt Morinaga have a sweet spot? Does Souichi have the guts to find out?
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,669 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 42 - Published: 5/16/2011 - Souichi T., Morinaga T.
Making Friends by Robinson019 reviews
M/M. In which Sai takes lessons from a book on how to make friends.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,020 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 20 - Published: 5/6/2011 - Sai, Naruto U. - Complete
Why is he being so nice? by imatwin247 reviews
Emmett is oddly nice to Bella. She is suspicious but goes along with it. You'd think things are okay since Edward is there but not even he can stop what Emmett does.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 9,499 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 4/11/2011 - Published: 4/5/2011 - Bella, Emmett - Complete
Game by NuclearGorgeous reviews
Naruto has a new game for his DS and is determined to beat it. Sai comes over to sketch Naruto for "anatomy practice" but quickly becomes jealous of Naruto's game. SaiNaru. Slight AU. Mature themes.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,531 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 15 - Published: 4/3/2011 - Naruto U., Sai - Complete
The Discreet Lesson by AiDan-Kurai reviews
Sasuke has been demoted and cut off by Itachi and made to work in a greasy old fast food restaurant. Why isn't he complaining? NaruSasu Hard Yaoi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,920 - Reviews: 34 - Favs: 225 - Follows: 20 - Published: 3/6/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
You Belong With Me by NavyBlueWings reviews
Naruto thinks he has it all planned out. Naruto thinks he belongs with Sakura. Naruto thinks he's in love. Naruto never thought about Sasuke as anything but a best friend. So how does Taylor Swift and a rooftop change all of that? Two-shot! Please r&r!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 17,981 - Reviews: 206 - Favs: 402 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 3/4/2011 - Published: 2/19/2011 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Sand by HellSandwich reviews
Gaara has a meeting, so he decides to have some fun with Naruto. Includes non-conventional use of sand. PWP, Hardcore Yaoi, Toys, Bondage, GaaNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,156 - Reviews: 216 - Favs: 780 - Follows: 118 - Published: 2/26/2011 - Gaara, Naruto U. - Complete
Boundary of Adoration by darkalbino reviews
It's difficult for Naruto to claim he doesn't like it, when his brother catches him about to jerk-off in his pants. Not that Shinjo cares about what he claims. ShinjoxNaru/Dark!NaruxNaru, twincest, oneshot. For Skully.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,997 - Reviews: 52 - Favs: 224 - Follows: 32 - Published: 2/25/2011 - Dark Naruto/Yami Naruto, Naruto U. - Complete
There's No Such Thing As Too Much Fun Plus Sasuke by Kandakicksass reviews
The much-loved Akatsuki orgy gets a sequel... PLUS SASUKE!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,683 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 11 - Published: 12/17/2010 - Akatsuki, Sasuke U. - Complete
When the Cat's Away by Kasia-chan reviews
Morinaga goes out leaving Souichi alone in the apartment to spend the evening thinking about his kouhai. What will be the outcome of that thinking? Tetsuhiro/Souichi Yaoi
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,253 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 96 - Follows: 10 - Published: 10/13/2010 - Souichi T., Morinaga T. - Complete
Rainy Night by Small Fox reviews
Naruto and Kiba find themselves caught in a rainstorm and spend the night in a tent. They get to talking which leads to other things. Rated M for a reason. Yaoi NaruKiba
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,188 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 247 - Follows: 110 - Updated: 9/17/2010 - Published: 11/21/2009 - Naruto U., Kiba I. - Complete
Mermen by LoZfanchick reviews
Disney meets Naruto! main sasunaru! kibahina, kakairu. follows The Little Mermaid's storyline but there are differences. : short chapters. M for later chapters. lemon!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 38,488 - Reviews: 397 - Favs: 450 - Follows: 182 - Updated: 9/13/2010 - Published: 8/2/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Spank Me Harder by Kasia-chan reviews
Morinaga had a stressful week and Souichi is grumpy one time too many. He has to face the consequences of his bitchiness... and an angry Morinaga. Morinaga/Souichi Yaoi
Tyrant Falls in Love/恋する暴君 - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,864 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 114 - Follows: 14 - Published: 8/18/2010 - Souichi T., Morinaga T. - Complete
Confrontation by Clashedncut13 reviews
Jacob fantasizes about Edward, and Edward confronts him.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,388 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 198 - Follows: 28 - Published: 7/9/2010 - Edward, Jacob - Complete
Sexting by nezie0416 reviews
Sauske is on a mission and texts Naruto at a...hot moment. What happens when two horny men have camera phones? Oh the possibilites! Smut! Dirty talk! Sexting! YOU KNOW YOU LOVE IT! OH AND YAOI/SLASH!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,531 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 93 - Follows: 12 - Published: 7/3/2010 - Sasuke U., Naruto U.
Dumb Dares by CloudNineKitty reviews
Naruto and his friends play a game of dumb dares at the office. What Naruto didn't know was that this game was going to change his life in more ways than one. COMPLETE; look for the better and revised version "Dumb Dares Revisited"
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 21 - Words: 52,317 - Reviews: 1397 - Favs: 2,040 - Follows: 822 - Updated: 4/18/2010 - Published: 1/25/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Voodoo no Jutsu by Chiyume reviews
Naruto discovers the somewhat interesting things one can do to a certain Uchiha Sasuke with a voodoo-doll... NaruSasuNaru, YAOI, rated M for later chapters. Read and Review please!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 90,331 - Reviews: 943 - Favs: 986 - Follows: 464 - Updated: 11/10/2009 - Published: 1/27/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Sasuke you dirty whore by Zetai reviews
When you have a cute little brother whose main goal in life is to harass you, you're doomed.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,264 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 122 - Follows: 24 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 4/5/2009 - Itachi U., Sasuke U. - Complete
All Eyes On You by myfailsafe reviews
AU HS. To hopefully win the heart of a certain pink haired maiden, Naruto pitches the insane idea to cross the line and his clothes. It just so happens he makes a beautiful girl, at least Sasuke thinks. SasuNaru.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 114,170 - Reviews: 1190 - Favs: 1,083 - Follows: 408 - Updated: 6/19/2009 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Sasuke U., Naruto U. - Complete
Three, Two, Four by THE KYO reviews
It's Naruto'a Birthday and he's lonely. ALL WARNINGS APPLY... accept BDSM... o.o YAOI, threesome plus 1... yada yada
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,739 - Reviews: 41 - Favs: 136 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 11/10/2008 - Published: 9/29/2008 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
Art Class by CassandraChristine reviews
It's Art time! Today, class, we have a real human model! Who's standing naked in the middle of the room? Who's drooling as he sketches? What an amazing birthday!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,932 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 149 - Follows: 16 - Published: 9/24/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
Caution! Slippery When Wet by Jelp reviews
Sometimes slippery floors can lead to more than just falling to the floor in pain. Sometimes pleasure follows. SasuNaru
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 12,077 - Reviews: 148 - Favs: 823 - Follows: 64 - Published: 9/23/2008 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
The bridge I crossed by fool.0 reviews
Wherein Naruto eats ramen and Sasuke can't take a hint. AU.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 20,538 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 220 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 8/3/2008 - Published: 7/18/2004 - Naruto U. - Complete
A Question of Love by tsusami reviews
An interesting question pops up between the Jinchuuriki. Naruto is straight, right? One-shot. Naruto x Gaara
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,673 - Reviews: 44 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 17 - Published: 6/17/2008 - Naruto U., Gaara - Complete
Ice Cream, I Scream by dead drifter reviews
Oneshot Yaoi KakuDei. Everyone is outside cooling off, but Kakuzu is stuck in the house due to a broken leg. Deidara decides to visit. Featuring ice cream, naughty tentacle butt secks and a 69!
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,317 - Reviews: 28 - Favs: 101 - Follows: 13 - Published: 2/12/2008 - Deidara, Kakuzu - Complete
Dealing with Love by Makkura Arashi reviews
I need to return to my family home...a date is mandatory. You will pretend to be my boyfriend…for a month. After that I’ll set you free. Naruto looked at the dark eyed slave.But what happens when they fall in love? NaruSasu, SasuNaru, Yaoi. LEMONY.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 16 - Words: 66,074 - Reviews: 858 - Favs: 613 - Follows: 276 - Updated: 5/27/2007 - Published: 1/15/2007 - Naruto U., Sasuke U. - Complete
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SOS reviews
A field trip gone awry. Will the survivors survive on what seems to be a deserted island? Or will they succomb to what Mother Nature throws their way?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 50 - Words: 134,726 - Reviews: 360 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 135 - Updated: 4/5/2014 - Published: 10/29/2011 - Bella, Jacob
Remember me reviews
Jacob is on the beach, swimming, when he finds an unconscious girl floating on a lifeboat. What's he to do when it turns out she has no memory of who she is or where she's at?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 46 - Words: 86,475 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 64 - Updated: 7/5/2012 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Bella, Jacob - Complete
School Field Trip: Disney Land reviews
Forks High senior class is raising money to go to Disney Land. Fundraising goes a long way if you throw in some near death experiences and a dash of humor.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 26,880 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 29 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/9/2012 - Edward, Jacob - Complete