Author has written 4 stories for Twilight.
Hey everyone! I've been gone for a really long time. College really sapped my urge to writing...but it's a new year and you know the saying, New Year, New Me! So I'm going to try to write more and finish my current fanfic 'Forget Me'! If you've stuck with the story since the beginning, I'm so sorry for leaving you hanging for such a long time. But I will try to hopefully complete it this year.
That took forever lol!
Bold your choice
1. Math or English?
Random video's. I'll post more occasionally.
I make youtube vids occasionally, thats me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-mo69o5RA38
Because I love this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpnuubCJjCU&feature=relmfu
LOL Gaara's Jar of dirt xD https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42yEIcCnFCM&feature=related
LOL Pein's jar of dirt xD http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuRYLKcyvOs
This lady must feel like a BIG idiot. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjyjhjJwuJs&feature=related
My love for Naruto and this song together https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ9zq7LFqmQ
Twlight vid, that makes me lol everytime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqvg0C90FhM
Sexy vampires (it's appropriate) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Na1A6lSHns
Anything you can do Deidara can do better! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIPGNMqLrR4
So cute! Chippette version of Every time we touchhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lj2L1N47UyY
Ninja Dance (It really does make you want to dance o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EJMJf9WTjg
21 secs of Itachi being hilarious! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RCkqsMAqG1w
Don't trust me- Sarah Palin parody http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDixVmdPpUo
Love this song, I love ASL; this was awesome http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=naVhENYll8c
Akatsuki going shopping...o.O Lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lJE2MPP6QE
My results, just in case you're wondering:
Your Existing Situation
"Outgoing but unpredictable and unstable. Likes things to go her way, otherwise she becomes agitated, indecisive, and fake in her activities."
Your Stress Sources
"Wishes for freedom and independence, free from limitations and restrictions except for the ones she choices to give himself."
Your Restrained Characteristics
Open and emotionally involved in relationships and easily finds satisfaction through sexual activity.
Feels unhappy and isolated because she is unable to succeed in finding the cooperation and understanding she desires.
"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."
Your Desired Objective
"Has a strong desire to contribute and influence others, but it can make her restless. she is driven by her desires and hopes. Enjoys a wide range of activities, but she may spread herself to thin taking on too much."
Your Actual Problem
"Feeling held back and restricted from moving forward, looking for a solution that will give her more freedom and less obstacles."
Stereotypes can go kick rocks :P
(Bold the ones that apply to me)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kindof girlfriend
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars. I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I went to a PRIVATE SCHOOL, so I must be stuck up.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers. ( I must say though I do like hockey...don't get why people associate beavers with canadians)
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I like YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I an friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, them burst into tears at one mistake
I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems
What to Do During an Exam
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)
15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Act spazzy
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.
Make A Sentence:
1(Jan) - I shot
Pick the day (number) you were born on...
01 - a rock star
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing...
White - because im sexy like that
I killed a teletubby because that bum stole my taco! He deserved it too. This is a recession dammit and that taco costed $1.09! Damn idiot. Dx
IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Ease on Down the Road--The Wiz
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
Heart of Gold--Ashlynne Huff
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Love Hangover-- Jason Derulo
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Right Round-- Flo Rida
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Falling Down-- Selena Gomez
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
Fun-- Glee version
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
As Long As You Love Me-- Justin Bieber
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF you
Smile-- Lily Allen
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Thx fr th Mmrs-- FOB
WHAT IS 2 2?
Stupid in Love-- Rihanna
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
The Ballad of Mona Lisa-- PATD
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Confident-- Demi Lovato
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO WHEN YOU GROW UP?
In the Closet-- Michael Jackson
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
My Love-- Justin Timberlake
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Toxic-- Britney Spears
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
America-- West Side Story
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST
Born this Way-- Lady Gaga
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
The 1-- Janet Jackson
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
The Way I Are-- D.O.E, Keri Hilson and Timbaland
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Lose My Breath-- Destiny's Child
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Animal-- The Warblers
WHAT WILL YOU NAME YOUR FIRST CHILD?
Realize-- Colbie Callat
IF YOU COULD LIVE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
Girls Like-- Tinie Timpah
WHAT SHOULD YOU HAVE BEEN CALLED?
No Broken Hearts-- Bebe Rehxa ft. Nicki Minaj
WHAT IS YOU'RE THEME SONG?
Expensive-- Todrick Hall
WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN YOUR NEXT RELATIONSHIP?
Can't Remember to Forget You-- Shakira
My fav poem:
One bright day in the middle of the night,
One was blind and the other couldn't, see
A blind man went to see fair play,
A paralyzed donkey passing by,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Copy and paste this on your profile if you could read this.
Things to do at Walmart!!!
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, “I think we’ve got a Code 3 in Housewares,” and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to “10″.
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, “Hi! I haven’t seen you in so long!…” etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, “Who BUYS this junk, anyway?”
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you’re taking it for a “test drive.”
17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, “Wow. Magic!”
20. Put M&M’s on layaway.
21. Move “Caution: Wet Floor” signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can “catch” from the other aisles.
24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,”…I’m Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!”
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell “hello” upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, “Why won’t you people just leave me alone?”
30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., “Do you have any Shnerples here?”
31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
32. Take bets on the battle described above.
33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from “Mission: Impossible.”
35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him ” I need some tampons!!”
36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Say things like, “Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?”
41. Set up a “Valet Parking” sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: “Marco Polo.”
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc.
44. “Re-alphabetize” the CD’s in Electronics.
45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
47. Relax in the patio furniture and open the patio umbrella until you get kicked out.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no! It’s those voices again!”
49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don’t get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible “sex and candy”
52. Try putting different pairs of women’s panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins.
54. Nonchalantly “test” the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, “Red Rover!”
56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
59. While no one’s watching quickly switch the men’s and women’s signs on the doors of the rest room.
60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone’s jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
61. In the auto department, practice your “Madonna” look with various funnels.
62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like “the fat man walks alone,” and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying “How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling.” Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying “Good girl, good bessie.”
66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).” When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. “hi!!!! (giggle) What’s your sign?(giggle).”
69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don’t realize it!
70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front of your nose and saying “Oh god, your over powering the perfume!!”
71. Hit on the elderly.
72. Hit on 5 year olds.
73. In the food aisle, pretend like there’s a little bug, slowly move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like crazy. Then finally yell out “Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was the biggest Cockrouch I’ve ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! Hey look, there’s another one!!!” Then Repeat.
74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.
75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.
76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a prissy English Man. Say things like “Cheerio, good man.” to people who walk by. And don’t forget to have perfect posture.
77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don’t know you.
78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start barking at them until they run away crying.
79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind customers and “accidentally” hit the people instead of your friend.
80. Excesively use anything thing that says “Try Me”.
81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.
82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.
82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say “Hello, how may I help you?” say “Yes, I’ll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of french fries and a diet coke.” And when they start to talk, say “Oh, to go”. Then when they say that they can’t give it to you say “Oh, This is because I’m gay isn’t it? I’d expect this from Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like everyone else your know. You disgust me” Then walk away mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley-girl-like as you can
83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream is because your family and all your friends seem to have a rash too.
84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your “multiple personalities”. Have an English man, a Southern person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should sound like this: “Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly good time.(English)” “Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)” Etc.
85. Start “dancing” like mad. Basically, just wail your arms and legs around like your having some kind of massive seizure.
86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store.
87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to go off. Then when it doesn’t go off, let out a big sigh. Then quickly look around you to see who’s watching and run away as fast as your can.
88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song.
89. Put jockstraps in the lingere department
90. Put lingerie in the men’s department.
91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men’s carts when they turn around.
92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, start crying and saying “All I ever wanted was a little attention” Then run away crying.
93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don’t look away, just stay mesmerized.
94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say “Help me. The voices in my head are telling me to do naughty things.” Then clap your hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming “NO!!! I DON’T WANT TO HURT THE NICE LADY NO NO NO NO!!!!” Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the eyes, and Calmly say “I…will start…a fire…” The pull out a zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don’t light the zippo, just hold it closed.
95. Light a match under a spinkler.
96. Walk up to someone and say “Oh, so your back for more. I warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get my shot gun”. Then walk away.
97. Walk up to a guy and say “Oh my god, is it you? Oh my god it is!!! I haven’t seen you in so long!!!!” Then kiss him. Then slap and him say “Why didn’t you ever call me??” Then walk away. Much more affective if you’re a guy.
98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your watch and say. “Finally, my shift is done. I really don’t get paid enough to do this”
99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.
100. Act like your about to cry and ask people “Have you seen my mommy?”
101. Steal a Walmart shirt. The possibilities are endless.
BONUS* Attempt all of the above during the same visit.
You know you're lviving in 2011 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN into the microwave.
You know you're addicted to the internet when...
When you hear a good joke, “LOL” is the first thing that pops into your mind
You continuously refresh the Google homepage even though you know nothing’s going to happen
You check your email every 5 minutes “just in case”Your parents/spouse need to email you to call you to dinner
You sneak away from your wedding to check your email
When someone asks you how your newborn baby is, you tell them that he’s still in BETA
You start writing HTML on dirty car windows
You know your online friends better than your real life ones
You’ve read the Google about page over 50 times
You can list 10 reasons Firefox is better than IE right off the bat
You know what IE stands for
You wait for your spam folder to fill up just so that you can empty it again
You consider places that have no Internet access “weird”
You won’t even consider going on vacation where there is no Internet access
When you do go on vacation, the only thing you’re thinking of is when you’re gonna get back to check your email
Everytime you hear someone talking about a website, you think they’re talking about you
Your heart starts racing whenever you see a website URL somewhere
You can’t stand hearing people talk about Internet Explorer without interrupting them and giving them 10 reasons it sucks
Whenever you do something wrong, your first reaction is to hit that back button
Your bookmark list needs it own harddrive
Your monitor has the Google homepage burned into it
You curse the people that forgot to add the word “Google” to the dictionary
Your single life purpose is to continue getting faster Internet; 28.8Kbps, 56Kbps, T1, T3
You give your only child a DSL subscription and laptop so that you can keep in touch with him “more easily”
When your spouse gets angry, you quickly look for the “Exit” button
You have no idea how your ISP calls 200 hours/month of Internet access “unlimited”
You ask your doctor to see if it’s possible to create a modem port in your head
All your dreams are in W3C valid XHTML
You start imitating the default MSN winks every time you want to express your feelings
You haven’t talked to your mother for 10 years. Hey, it’s her fault she never learned how to use Skype!
You leave your room only to find that your parents are dead and that your siblings have moved out
You open your browser hours prior to using it so that all the previously opened tabs can load up
You can go about your daily tasks online blindfolded
You know your friends by their usernames more than you them by their real names
Your body has a tattoo that says “This body best viewed with Firefox 2.0″
You start taking pills to cure your addiction to the Internet
You start having headaches when you’re away from your computer
Your online life starts to seem more important than your offline one
If a coffee shop doesn’t have free wireless access, you consider it blasphemy
You wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and stop to check your email on the way
You tell your kids that they can’t use the computer because “daddy’s got work”
You spend half the plane trip with your laptop in your lap… and your child in the overhead compartment
You decided to stay in college for an extra year or two… just for the free Internet
When you business teacher asks you the difference between “needs” and “wants”, you tell him that the Internet is a need, and sunlight is a want
You carry a flash drive with your bookmarks wherever you go, “just in case”
The last girl you hooked up with was a JPEG
You start using smileys in college essays
No matter how much your college professor tries to make you understand, you still think that “LOL” is a real word (pronounced “lawl”)
You have your kids faces as icons on the desktopYou start panting heavily every time a page stops loading; thinking that your ISP is undergoing construction
When you find out that you won’t have Internet access for a few days, you start crying as though your only child had just died
You’re willing to sit on the floor of your old apartment, where there is no furniture, just so that you can get access to the Internet where it still isn’t shut off
Your ISP names you “Customer of the Month” for the 12th consecutive timeYou desperately ask your friends to loan you some money for your mother’s “important surgery”
Half-way to the hospital, you decide that your mother will just have to hang in there; you head on over to Best Buy to purchase that modem you’ve been eying for a whileYou turn on the news only to find out that Tom Cruise is now president, toast causes cancer, and that the Teletubbies are gay
You’ve memorized every single browser shortcut and know them like the back of your hand
It feels “weird” when you have nothing to do
You know that Google is more than a search engine, and you care!
The choice between you kids education and the Internet bill is obvious - even though it might be tough one for your kids
You don’t worry about your bookmarks when your harddrive fails; you have them photocopied in a safe in Sweden
You constantly brainstorm things to look up on Google
You know why Google is better than MSN/Yahoo and you care“Googling” is no longer a thing to you, but a way of livingYou suddenly realize that you wife and children have been missing for ages
You search for them on Google
You sell your car to pay for your monthly phone bill
You are surprised when you go to the library and can’t find Wikipedia
You really think that your birthday video is going to be a big hit on YouTube
Your life is nothing but a blog, and the everyday events are postsYou try opening doors by double clicking on them
You constantly look for the delete button to get rid of your bossYou think Google knows where you car keys are
Your husband tells you that he’s had the beard for 2 weeks
You name your children after your favorite forum members
You’ve finally solved the mystery of the “about:robots” in Firefox
You don’t have a diary, you have a blogWhen you ISP closes down, you decide to sue them for the “Mental Damage” they caused you
You know people online better than you know your own mother
Your wife makes a new rule: “The computer can not come to bed”
You started writing HTML code on the doors of public restrooms
You’ve changed your homepage over 100 times… and always ended up going back to Google
You refer to your age as 2.0
You miss a weeks worth of meals downloading the latest games
You try and convince yourself that you’re “not” addicted to the Internet while browsing through you feed reader’s 12,702 unread items
You’ve fallen for every single one of Google’s April Fools jokes
The only time you ever leave your room is to eat and go to the bathroomYou call up a plumber and ask him how much it would cost for him to replace your computer chair with a toiler
You start ordering all your food online and move into the kitchen so you “don’t waste any time”
You’re surprised to hear that your friends don’t have their own Personal Messaging system
You misspell words on purpose just so that you can use Firefox’s “cool” spellcheck tool
Your cat has it own homepage and Facebook profileYou refer to eating as uploading
You refer to going to the bathroom as downloadingYou step out of your to find that the new Ice Age has begun
You call up your ISP and ask them is the snow is going to affect your connection
If anybody wants to talk to you, he just logs on your IRC channel
When your connection goes down, you spend every waking minute trying to guess your neighbors password so that you can “borrow” their Internet
You need a list like this to tell you that you’re addicted to the Internet
You predicted (right) how this list was going to end before reading the last sign
You Know Your Addicted to Naruto When..
You eat Ramen all day every day.
You've watched every episode at least 5 times - in English and Japanese.
You watched the first 135 episodes of Naruto in less than 5 days.
You buy a $200 pair of Sharingan contacts.
You say "Dattebayo" or "Believe it!" after every sentence.
You cover half of your face with a mask.
You spend all your free time looking at Naruto web sites.
You try to walk up trees using your feet only.
You draw whiskers on your face.
You spend the time to make and maintain a Naruto web site. _
You draw black circles around your eyes.
You think about killing your entire family just to test your abilities.
You always talk about Naruto, even if no one wants to hear about it.
You run with your arms behind you.
You have read and written Naruto fan fiction...And took it a step further by making a Naruto music video .
You decide to call your morals your "ninja way".
You thrust your arm forward with a stress ball in hand and yell "Rasengan!"
You run with a snowball during a snowball fight, dodging everything in your path (or at least pretending to) and get to your target and thrust a "Snow Rasengan!" in their face.
You feel like you can tap into yourself and demand bursts of energy during a race or fight.
You yell out "Demon Windmill Shuriken" when your throwing a Frisbee.
You dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
You watch Naruto in Japanese, without English subtitles, even though you don't know a lick of Japanese.
You address your tests as the Chunin Exams.
You dye your hair red and carry a large bottle of of sand on your back.
You call old men who stare at young women Ero-sennin or Pervy sage
Your not Japanese and you say "Itadakimasu" before you eat
Your dreams and daydreams consist of elements from the Naruto world.
You have Naruto games for video game systems you don't even have.
You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.
You tell people your dream is to be Hokage.
You replace your backpack with a giant gourd.
You feel like you have the Sharingan after you put in normal, everyday people contacts...And feel like you turn off your Sharingan after you take out the contacts.
You paint the Nine-Tailed Fox seal on your stomach and claim you have a demon inside of you.
Whenever your stomach rumbles, you think its Nine-Tailed Demon Fox trying to get out.
You wear a jacket in the middle of the summer.
You roll your eyes back in your head and shout "Byakugan!"
You give people the 'nice-guy' pose.
You jump into the room, kicking the door yelling "Dynamic Entry!"
You have to put on a headband before a major competition...And want your competition to do it too so people acknowledge you all as equals.
You do something stupid, you claim you were being controlled by the Shadow Possession Jutsu.
You trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.
You dress up like a girl and say it's your "Sexy Jutsu" (for guys only).
You get a tattoo of a cursed seal on your neck.
You don't care that your life has started to suck because "it's not cannon".
You leave your town for two and a half years, come back, and pretend you're cooler and smarter then before.
Any mention of Naruto makes you scream, laugh, applaud, or overall just become rather excited.
You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.
You daydream about fighting the likes of Orochimaru, Itachi, or all of Akatsuki member.
You try to make pairings between characters.
You try to teach your dog 'Dynamic Marking'.
You throw clay birds hoping they'll explode.
You carry puppets with you.
You call your group of friends a "three man cell"."Art is a Bang"
Your theories in chemistry, psychology, or philosophy class always reference Naruto somehow.
You wear a gigantic black cloak with red clouds on it.
The only facts you know about cells are the ones you learned from Tsunade.
You have gotten at least one friend addicted to Naruto.
You imagine Mount Rushmore as the Hokage faces.
You buy those stickers and stick them on your car, room, or face.
You always wear sunglasses and keep bugs in your pockets.
Your on a Naruto forum and it's 4:00 AM.
You spy on girls and call it research.
You try to summon a frog in biology class...by biting your thumb, making hand signs, and thrusting your hand on the floor.
You claim to be an expert on the Japanese language, then get kicked out of Japan on your vacation because all you knew how to do was insult people.
You refuse a date because your saving yourself for Sakura or Sasuke.
You have a pet pig named Tonton.
You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it.
You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.
You stay up all night waiting for the release of the next episode.
You call your teachers sensei and your not Japanese.
You add the suffixes -chan and -kun to the end of your friends names and your not Japanese.
You follow somebody home and when they ask you why, you tell them it's part of your mission.
You use pick-up lines like Wanna see my new jutsu? or Did you see my shadow clone pass by here earlier?
You dress up a piece of wood and tell people your practicing a substitution technique.
You start making hand signs...And then run at somebody yelling "Chidori!"
You try to sign a contract with blood.
You hit people over the head if they say something stupid.
You paste a piece of paper that says come come paradise on the front of adult books.
You keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.
You try to do 200 push-ups and when your not able to, you'll do 200 squats, and when you can't do that you'll try to walk around your town 200 times on your hands.
You try and compare people in real life to people in Naruto.
You drive around with Naruto music blasting out of the car, hoping somebody will recognize them and think your cool.
Your in a fight and rub some hot sauce in your eyes, yelling "Sharingan!"You take out a bottle of hot sauce and drink it, shouting "Katon: Goukakyuu no Jutsu! (Fire Style: Fireball Jutsu)"
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Naruto!
You Know you're Obsessed with Twilight When. . .
1. Biology has suddenly become your favorite subject.
2. No one wants to watch a movie that involves vampires with you because all you do is say 'Vampires don't burst into flames when they're in the sun, they sparkle' and other remarks like that.
3. For Christmas your mom asked you what you wanted and you automatically said Edward Cullen or any other Twilight character.
4. Your parents know just about everything about Twilight even though they haven't read the books.
5. Your younger brother or sister also knows everything about the books even though they haven't read them.
6. You have gotten at least four people addicted to the books.
7. You cried when you found out that Stephanie Meyer isn't writing Midnight Sun.
8. You read Breaking Dawn in a day.
9. You cried when you finished Breaking Dawn.
10. Anyone who disturbed you was hissed or growled at.
11 You can't resist telling people at Barnes and Nobles who are looking at the books that they are the best books ever.
12. You wanted to name your family pets after the characters but you weren't allowed to.
13. Your computer teacher blocked all things Twilight related at school because you spent the whole hour on fan sites when you were supposed to be working.
14. At school you are known as the 'Twilight Girl'
15. Google is your new favorite search engine.
16. You know the reason behind number 15.
17. Your parents no longer threaten to ground you; they threaten to take away your Twilight books.
18. You have seen the movie at least 5 times.
19. You have read each book at least 8 times.
20. You remember the exact date and time you fell in love with Twilight.
You know you're addicted to sims3 when...
You wonder what’s in Stu Surprise and consider making it in real life.
You feel confused when you can’t speed past boring activities like showering, eating and childbirth. Where’s the 3 button?!
You create people you have crushes on and then create a Sim version of you and then play out your sick sick fantasies.
Motherlode – if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you’re safe.
Whenever you hear or read “WooHoo”, you instantly start thinking about sex. But not human sex…Sims sex.
You contemplate removing the ladder from the pool when you notice someone you don’t like is swimming.
You don’t understand why it takes your real kids longer than thirty minutes to figure out the whole potty training thing.
You start to wonder what random people would look like if you “Simmed” them…and then you do.
You talk to your non-Sims playing friends and family about Sims 3 even though they ignore you.
They WILL love Sims 3.
You dream about your Sims.
You know you're addicted to video games when...
1. You've tried to dial a cheat code on your phone.
2. Whenever something bad happens you reach for the pause button.
3. You've spent so much time playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater you actually taught youself how to skateboard.
4. You keep pushing the bottons in the elevator in the apartment/hotel/mall.
5. The only joystick you play with anymore is plugged in to your Xbox.
6. You've decided you won't go outside anymore due to the 'tacky graphics, poor sound and low playability.'
7. You've moved your PS2 into the bathroom just in case you make it to the next level on Vice City.
8. Your hands are so gnarled from gripping the controller, you can't even tie your shoes.
9. You ask your doctor how many lives you have left.
10. You think you can take on the world with a crowbar.
11. You actually went to video game design camp.
12. Whenever you get hurt, you just hide behind something for five seconds until you heal.
13. You have ever tried to "double jump".
14. You've dressed up as your favorite character and did cosplay
15. You own all gaming systems even if they suck
16. You search for hentai for hot video game characters you like
17. You own the soundtrack to your favorite games
18. You make videos about gaming
19. You dream about gaming
20. All the music on your ipod came from guitar hero
21. You argue with people when they say your favorite game/system sucks
22. You actually learned how to play a real guitar because of guitar hero
23.You stand in Wal-mart shouting "Opening Lockboxes!"
24. You try to throw a pokeball at a animal trying to catch it
25. You tell your dog to use an attack on someone/something
26. When you have a girlfriend who games as much as you do
27. When you invite your online friends you don't know for your wedding and other activities
28. You call someone a noob in real life
29. When you go to buy something at a store/mall, you ask how much gold/rupees will it cost.
30. You look for a map when you take a walk in the woods
31. You walk into people's homes to collect money and smash their stuff
32. When you refer to your car as your epic mount
33. When something goes wrong in real life, you try to load a save game. When you find it doesn't work you go and ask someone how to fix corrupt saves.
34. When you get a new gadget or game, you hold it above your head with a stupid smile!
35. You actually thought pokemon were real
36. You eat a mushroom hoping to become bigger
37. You're amazed that there's no triolith (pyramidal stone) in your local church
38. When you see a turtle, you jump on them
39. You have the video game hotline on speed dial
40. You've changed your name to a video game characters' name
41. When you heard about the hurricane Ike coming, you thought of Ike from fire emblem
42. Your phone's ringtone is from a game you love
43. You actually camped out 24 hours before a game/system came out.
44. You don't talk about anythng but games.
45. You get extremely irritated every time you hear someone say "Hey! Listen!"
46. You learned japanese just so you can enjoy more games 47. You think Milk is beer
48. You name your child after a video game character
49. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to video games.
50. You actually made a list of "You know you're addicted to video games."
You know you're from Cleveland if...
Your idea of fine cuisine includes keilbasa and Stroh's beer
You Know You're Ghetto if...
-You put sugar on your frosted flakes
If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similiar, copy this into your profile.If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.
If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.
If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.
Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal! Saying that you are normal is odd! If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile!
There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself! It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE then it's weird! If you agree, copy and paste this and put it in your profile!
If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile!
If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile!
Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this into your profile!
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone! Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile this in your profile!
If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile!
If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile!
If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile!
If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile!
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO!
If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile!
My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile!
If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile!
Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!
If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile
If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile.
If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile
If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.
If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.
If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile.
If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile
Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile.
If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.
If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile
If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. copy and paste this if you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?"
If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile
FRIENDS Vs. BEST FRIENDS
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"
7 Ways to Scare your roommates
1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterward, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"
3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.
4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."
Things to do on an elevator to annoy others
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call a Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for a friend. After a while say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?", and let the doors close.
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out "Group Hug!", then enforce it.G
rimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off, ever.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little circle around yourself on the floor and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Hold an auction.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first seven notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
When you brush past someone, whisper "Was it good for you too?"
Lean over to another rider and whisper "Noogie patrol coming!"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Stroke your chin and ask other passengers to tell you about their mothers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Bring a large pile of ice. Build a small igloo on the floor.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a light.
Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Press your nose against the other passengers, and say "You know, this is what the Eskimos used to do before having sex."
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion.
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure.
"Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
Ask someone "guess what?" When they respond with "what?," say "guess what?" again. Repeat until the person responds angrily, then say "I was only asking a question."Then start talking loudly to someone else in the elevator about "how some people really need to learn how to control their temper." [
Sit in the corner, rocking back and forth, muttering to yourself in a loop "And when it finishes going down it goes up and people get on but when they get on they always get off and the ones getting off are never the ones getting on and the doors open but they always close but when the doors close no one gets on and it goes down and when it finishes going down it goes up..."
563 ways to be annoying
1. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
There is a lot of stuff above. If you actually sat there and read it all, I must applaud you. And thank you. I hope you had a good laugh. I know I did!!!