PissedOffEskimo
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Joined 10-22-02, id: 284157, Profile Updated: 04-22-15
Author has written 21 stories for Harry Potter, Supernatural, Teen Wolf, Hook, Arrow, and Flash.

I am neither pissed off, nor am I an Inuit. However, I am distantly Native American and I can get quite perturbed. So, in a sense...

All deleted scenes can be found on Archive of Our Own, pissedoffeskimo.


April 22, 2015

While I wait for me beta to get back to me, I have begun posting that lighter, fluffier original work I promised. Check it out on AO3.

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Sticks and Stones reviews
There had been quite literally hundred of ways Eobard Thawn could have done this. From adopting Barry himself to simply sitting back and watching. He'd done the later for a time, but the idea of taking at least some of his anger out on the boy who would become the Flash had been so, so tempting and when the future didn't change after he took him, well, that told Eobard everything
Flash - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 82,419 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 8/9 - Published: 5/30 - Barry A./The Flash, Eobard T./Impostor Harrison W./Reverse-Flash, Cisco R., Hartley R./Pied Piper
A Demon Named John reviews
Azazel knows that Sammy's his boy, he's never been more sure of anything. So when John starts hunting, he decides to take matters into his own hands and sends someone to watch the boys. Make sure they grow up the way he wants them to. (Wincest - eventually; possessed!John; pre-series; seasons one and two; violence; threats of non!con; manipulation)
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 8 - Words: 44,342 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 8/1 - Published: 12/12/2014
The Not So Secret Identity of Oliver Queen reviews
Is there anyone left in Starling City who doesn't know Oliver Queen's secret identity? (Similar to the episodic wordplay I've done for Supernatural and Teen Wolf without it being episode specific. Set towards the end of Season 2.)
Arrow - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,429 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Published: 12/17/2014 - Oliver Q., Felicity S., Roy H. - Complete
Incestuous Cross-Country Shenanigans reviews
Companion pieces to The Funnies that answer many compelling questions - such as, what the hell did happen with Frank the Goat and what exactly does the Great Wendigo Hunt of 1995 have to do with anything? Sam/Dean; Cas/Dean
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,432 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/6/2014 - Published: 9/26/2014
Outtakes
Teen Wolf episodic script play. The little things my deviant brain hears with every episode, mostly because I watched way too much MST3K as a child. Due to the nature of this, there are most assuredly spoilers.
Teen Wolf - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 9,229 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 9/12/2014 - Published: 7/4/2014
All We Have reviews
Dad's disappeared and young Dean is left with no money and no way to take care of his Sammy, so he does what he has to for the money they need. When Sam is taken by vampires, Dean finally asks for help. He and Sam end up living at the Roadhouse. But now Dean has secrets he doesn't want to share and, when Dad does show back up again, a lot of pent-up anger. wincest (summary: xcziel)
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Angst/Supernatural - Chapters: 12 - Words: 107,970 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 248 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 8/29/2014 - Published: 11/27/2006 - Dean W., Sam W.
The Misadventures of Peter-Hand and the Lust Boys
A pornographic parody of Hook. That's right, you heard me. A pornographic. Parody. Of Hook. Wherein Robin Williams does not play Peter-Hand and Dustin Hoffman isn't Captain Hooker, but you can go ahead and put a 16-year-old Dante Basco in for Rufi-Ho, because seriously, who wouldn't? If he were legal. Minds out of the gutter, people. As you read the porn.
Hook - Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,456 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/30/2014 - Complete
Funnies reviews
Episodic script play. The little things my deviant brain hears with every episode, mostly because I watched way too much MST3K as a child.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 9 - Words: 23,060 - Reviews: 126 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 5/27/2014 - Published: 1/4/2007 - Dean W., Sam W. - Complete
Bruises reviews
Just an excuse to defile the Metallicar, really. Although, the hot boy sex came in as a close second. At least, that was how it started. Story finished.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 13,966 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 5/12/2014 - Published: 12/19/2006 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
Safety Net reviews
Part Nine of AllWeHave!Verse. Set during Season 2, All Hell Breaks Loose. Sam is dead and Dean can't even quantify how broken that leaves him.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 6,327 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 4 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Dean W., Sam W.
Observations reviews
Snippets of the boys growing up at the Roadhouse. This is part of the All We Have universe and is pre-Wincest.
Supernatural - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,874 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 5/16/2009 - Published: 5/2/2009 - Sam W., Dean W. - Complete
He Defines Me reviews
Rewrite. AU. Rather than kill him, Voldemort hid Harry's existence from the world and raised him as a pet. Fourteen years later, he is rescued. Slash: hplv, hpss, hpdm, hplm. Please read the warnings and author's notes.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,827 - Reviews: 116 - Favs: 183 - Follows: 309 - Updated: 4/13/2009 - Published: 4/6/2007 - Harry P., Severus S.
After All reviews
Dumbledore decides that he’s had enough of the Dursley’s abuse and brings Harry to Hogwarts at age eight HPDM main pairing, HPLM noncon, HPSS implied. Beware the cute.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 44 - Words: 135,996 - Reviews: 502 - Favs: 666 - Follows: 248 - Updated: 10/19/2006 - Published: 10/21/2004 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Those Freaky Malfoys reviews
Draco just wants his father to see what he sees. Multiple, convoluted pairings.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 15,273 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 9 - Published: 6/2/2006 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Choices Made reviews
Harry made his choice. HPLM HPFG HPLV implied
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 13,665 - Reviews: 58 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 21 - Published: 12/31/2005 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
He Defines Me old version reviews
AU HPLV HPDM HPSS HPLM Rather than kill him, Voldemort hid Harry's existence from the world and raised him as a pet. Fourteen years later, Harry's rescued.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 41,979 - Reviews: 450 - Favs: 413 - Follows: 192 - Updated: 12/24/2005 - Published: 12/12/2002 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Chronicles of the Babb reviews
This is a collection of humor ficlettes inspired by babbchronicles a livejournal community. Some are het, some are slash, some don't know what they are, but they all try thier best to make you laugh.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,834 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 12/1/2005 - Published: 3/12/2005 - Harry P. - Complete
As Promised reviews
HPSS Snape promised Dumbledore. Spoilers for HBP. complete
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,487 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 6 - Published: 8/26/2005 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
Twisted Little Happy reviews
Revised Now that he finally has his 'Sev,' nothing will stop Harry from keeping him. Nothing. complete
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 13,302 - Reviews: 46 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 7/28/2005 - Published: 11/20/2003 - Harry P., Severus S. - Complete
One Night reviews
Draco can have only one heir. What will he do when a onenight stand leaves Harry pregnant with his child? complete
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 17,304 - Reviews: 123 - Favs: 170 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 8/3/2004 - Published: 5/7/2003 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Call It Love reviews
PWP HPLM. Lucius has finally gotten his hands on his five year obsession... Harry Potter. complete
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 14 - Words: 34,703 - Reviews: 213 - Favs: 166 - Follows: 50 - Updated: 2/12/2004 - Published: 6/19/2003 - Harry P., Lucius M. - Complete
JadedEros (1)
Vesca (7)