Raliks Kell of House Night
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Joined 04-15-11, id: 2847088, Profile Updated: 02-28-15
Author has written 4 stories for Mortal Kombat, Hyperdimension Neptunia, Upotte!!/うぽって!!, and Warframe.

K, so, first off; I'm 19, gettin' that outa the way first. Big MK fan, L4D, Custom Robo, blah-blah. I'm pretty well-rounded for a gamer at my age, believe it or not.

Uh, so yeah. Wouldn't be here if I wasn't at least half-decent at writing, right? Right. So, here's how I come up with my stories;

1; Ignore teachers/professors in school

2; Concentrate on topic

3; Continue to ignore speakers

4; Think up something original and entertaining

5; Continue steps 1 and 3

6; Think up a character to mix things up

7; Step 1

8; Consider if romance is out of the question, which is what I do with you guys. So in reviews, speak up if you want things to get a little akward between characters. I'll be sure to deliver.

And yeah. Awesomefacehunterisawesome!

Update; blah blah, new stuff. GET TO THE RANDOMNESS!

Warning; Randomness starts here. _

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

I find "good morning" contradictory

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then? (Me, motherfucker!)

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon (ZZZZZZZZZzzz...)

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again (Let's see... Tails. Fuck... Okay, just say we'll be together. _;)

Oops! I appear to have fallen on your lips! (It was a wonderful accident! I swear!)

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (First, we have to find a different subject...)

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, MOFO, RUN!"

A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you. (Fact: It's me. _)

We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I'll get a paddle boat and save your retarded ass

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

I enjoy randomness. That's why you see it here. .

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

3. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

4. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

5. Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses?

6. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

7. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... Is he still wrong? (No, he's just a nutjob.)

8. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? And is it suicide or murder? (Refer to my friend Jakkob Johnson, who murdered Johnson and killed himself shortly after.)

9. Is there another word for synonym?

10. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

11. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? (Watch and be amazed.)

12. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

13. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? (OH, THE SANITATION!)

14. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

15. Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

16. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

17. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? (You have the right to fucking speak already.)

18. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

19. How do blind people know when they are done wiping? (They sniff.)

20. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road?

Enjoy more random from shit I don't own. .

'Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today.'

'Don't get mad; get sadistic.'

'Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?'

'Common sense is the enemy of comedy.'

'Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.'

'My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.'

'Knowledge is power; power is the root of all evil. Therefore study to be evil.'

'I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!'

'Girls don't fall for me; I trip them, catch them in my arms and say 'Whoa, watch your step'.'

'They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people.'

'There are very few problems that can not be solved using a large amount of explosives.'

'I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die'

'I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.'

'It is not enough to succeed; others must fail and come begging to me for help.'

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

'Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.' (You're forgetting a woman's mind.)

'If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry... and if you jump out a window, I will laugh. HARD.'

'Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?'

'What is this 'kindness' you speak of? I have not heard of it.'

'It’s all fun and games until someone gets a fork in the eye. THEN IT'S EVEN FUNNIER!'

'Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.'

'Define 'normal'.'

'These sunglasses sure make it hard to see in the dark, but I refuse to take them off because I am an American!'

'I will call her Sophia, hug her and love her and rub her fur the wrong way.'

'He who walks with wolves, learns to howl.' (ARRROOOOO!)

'Of all the things I've ever wished that I know could never be, the thing I wish the most is that I wish I wasn't me.'

You prepared? 'Cause this next one is as random as it gets... I think.

Anime/cartoon Characters Quiz

Pick 10 characters and answer the questions below. You can pick any characters you like, both boys and girls!!

1. Dokuro (Bokutatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chan.) (I prefer to say 'Murderous Angel'.)

2. Yoko Ritona (Gurren Lagann) (What's better than a chick with a gun? A REVEALING clothing wearing one.)

3. Shana (Shakugan no Shana) (Tsundere, you torture me so...)

4. Louise Valliere (Zero no Tsukaima) (Only 'cause she's cute when she sleeps.)

5. Risty (Queen's Blade) (I watch it for the comedy, trust me.)

6. Kneesocks (Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt) (She's just so damn cute.)

7. Tear Grants (Tales of the Abyss: The Animation) (Who doesn't just adore her? Haters don't hate.)

8. Haruhi Suzumiya (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya) (Only because I'm afraid that she'd get me killed if I didn't list her.)

9. Gardevoir (Pokemanz) (Hey, I'm not afraid to say it. I'm a complete idiot, so I can list whoever I want to.)

10. Yuuhi Katagiri (Akane iro ni Somaru Sakura) (Tsundere, you torture me so...)

1 woke you up in the middle of the night?

... Let's leave it to the imagination.

Number 2 asked you to go out with her?

I would say yes in an instant.

Number 3 walked into the bathroom while you're showering?

... Refer to the first answer.

4 announced she's going to marry 9 tomorrow?

I'll get the camera.

5 cooked you dinner?


6 was lying next to you on the beach, sleeping?

She probably would run through me the ruuuurruuus, being 'Don't touch her'. I would break that rule, though. _

7 suddenly confessed to be part of your family?

"Would that make the thoughts that I had earlier incestual?"

8 got into the hospital somehow?

Probably just to make me worry about her.

9 made fun of your friends?

Nothing new there.

10 ignored you all the time?

I'd bug until she stopped.

Two serial killers are hunting you down. What will 1 do?

Kill them, then me, then revive me and appologize... then, later, kill me again.

You're on a vacation with number 2 and manage to break your leg. What does 2 do?

Help me.

It's your birthday. What will 3 give you?

Melon bread.

You're stuck in a house that's on fire. What does 4 do?

Try to save my ass but accidentally explode in the process.

You're about to do something that'll make you feel extremely embarassed. What will 5 do?

Probably go ahead and let me do it after trying to talk me out of it for shits and giggles, then say 'I told you so.'

You're about to marry number 10. What's 6's reaction?

Fitting. The tsundere bride. Kneesocks would probably just do something completely irrational due to it being against her ruuurruuuus .

You got dumped by someone. How will 7 cheer you up?

Sing me a fonic hymn.

You're angry about it afterwards, how does 8 calm you down?

She'd think of something absolutely crazy to do.

You compete in some tournament. How does 9 support you?

Distract everyone and convince them to forfeit.

You can't stop laughing. What will 10 do?

Either tell me to stop laugh or ask why I'm being so stupid.

Number 1 is all you've ever dreamed of. Why?

I'm a masochist.

2 tells you about her deeply hidden love for number 9. Your reaction?

Cross-species is sometimes cool, but I'd just stare at her for this one...

You're dating number 3 and introduce her to your parents. Will they get along?

Probably not...

Number 4 loves number 9 as well. What does that mean?

She drank another fuckin' love potion.

Will number 5 and 6 ever kiss?

I have my camcorder prepared.

6 appears to be a player, she breaks many hearts. What do you do?

Bring up the ruuuuruuus and convince her to stay with me. _

You had a haircut and 7 can't stop looking at you. What goes on in your mind?

Take a picture, it'll last longer.

Number 8 thinks she'll never get a boyfriend. What will you tell her?

"Of course you will! I'm here, right?"

Number 9 randomly confesses their love for you. Reaction?

"... I feel like that pervy teacher in a porn."

Number 10 randomly slaps the hell out of you when she finds out you're with 5. What would you say to make them regret it?

"THAT'S why I'm with her!"

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Guns 'N Kindred by LeShyWolf reviews
Sometimes, the smallest and seemingly insignificant things that one had done in the past, will find its way back to its source. Michael will learn that it certainly is true for him when a piece from his past catches up to him. A daughter.
Grand Theft Auto - Rated: M - English - Family/Crime - Chapters: 3 - Words: 12,871 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/20/2014 - Published: 7/5/2014 - OC, Michael D.
Hyperdimension Neptunia is Real! by Some Random Tosser reviews
One day, due to a faulty PS3, Neptune of Gamindustri appears in front of a certain teen and takes him there. He ends up in Gamindustri and he now must 'assist' Neptune and co. in their epic quest to retrieve the Key Fragments. Preferably without dying.
Hyperdimension Neptunia - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 248,096 - Reviews: 568 - Favs: 162 - Follows: 175 - Updated: 11/14/2014 - Published: 9/10/2011 - Compa, IF, Neptune/Purple Heart, OC
The Adventures of Admiral Auki by AutoKing93 reviews
This story mainly about my account in the game Kantai Collection, with added information that I thought off and add by myself. Be advised that this is an inconsistent project and I will continue it from time to time. Current play time for my account is nearly 5 months, so there's plenty of stuff to be added later. Enjoy your stay and leave a comment!
Kantai Collection - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,349 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 11/1/2014 - Published: 7/3/2014
War at Sea- a Kancolle Story by DarkestVampire reviews
Lt. Commander Yamamoto had been thrown into a world of war, chaos and... love, as he was assigned to his first post to command the newly repurposed Takagi Elementary School, now known as Okinawa Bay Naval Base. Stuck inbetween various shipgirls, he was about to find out the devil was not as black as he was painted. Rating changed for future content, various pairings.
Kantai Collection - Rated: M - English - Sci-Fi/Adventure - Chapters: 9 - Words: 48,567 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 10/27/2014 - Published: 9/1/2014 - Maru Yu, Tenryuu, Musashi, Junyou
Another Point of View by Shadow Typer97 reviews
Join the random adventures of Yu-chan and her friends in a familiar but different setting.
Upotte!!/うぽって!! - Rated: T - English - Friendship - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,697 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 9/7/2014 - Published: 3/30/2013
Survival of the Fittest by gar-a-ash2 reviews
A female hunter has been captured and experimented on, searching for a cure. A male hunter, common but dangerous, taken from his pack and forced into captivity. Now, they must try to survive, forced to rely on each other to try to escape. HunterxHunter
Left 4 Dead - Rated: M - English - Romance/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,357 - Reviews: 76 - Favs: 100 - Follows: 94 - Updated: 1/19/2013 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Hunter
Pelgo 14 by thesalmonskin reviews
The Flood left Fred Nelson, a high-tech Seattle biochemist, high and dry on Guest Pelgo 5 with the body plan for a plant that could soothe the dispute between the Founders and Guests. Little does he know that his plant will only make things worse. T for graphic violence, harsh language, suggestive themes. BRINK belongs to Bethesda and Splash Damage.
Brink - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Tragedy - Chapters: 12 - Words: 35,870 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 10/3/2012 - Published: 2/20/2012
Just Beyond My Reach, My Assassin by Mismatch-lover reviews
What would you do if you were in the game? With her mind wiped clean, Narina soon finds out that it isn't just a game. With the help of the Renaissance Assassin,she uncovers the secrets that have been kept hidden for ages. Ezio/OC
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 44 - Words: 351,951 - Reviews: 1352 - Favs: 853 - Follows: 478 - Updated: 9/8/2012 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Ezio A. - Complete
Hidan no Aria: Requiem of a Lost Melody by Seiji Godspeed reviews
What if Kinji did not become Aria's partner? What will happen? Will our pink twin-tailed gun trotting heroine find a replacement? Join her in an alternative adventure that reeks of bullets, swords and hearts!
Aria the Scarlet Ammo/緋弾のアリア - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,191 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/24/2012 - Published: 6/13/2012
Please Don't Leave by Blushing Aniki reviews
This is two years after the end of the storyline for the Custom Robo game for the Gamecube. There is a mysterious life form who killed 15 people in one night and everyone is getting paranoid. Mainly revolves around Marcia and the hero though. Bad language
Custom Robo - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 11 - Words: 14,995 - Reviews: 47 - Favs: 15 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 3/5/2012 - Published: 12/23/2009
The Apple Of My Soul by RECREATIONAL reviews
When a mentally disturbed young woman draws the attention of a powerful Hunter and Smoker, they both fight to compete for her affections. O.CxHunter&Smoker
Left 4 Dead - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 7 - Words: 20,064 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Hunter, Smoker
An Unforgiving Friend by MunchyLevelShenanigans reviews
He hated them so much. From their obnoxious cries, to how they made even the strongest cower in fear. Yet, he can't stop running into one. Can he put his hatred aside, or will it consume him? Smoker-X-Witch, Sequal to A Failed Protector. On Hiatus
Left 4 Dead - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 7,636 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 11/22/2010 - Published: 6/17/2010 - [Smoker, Witch]
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Sever reviews
Imagine, for a moment, you wake up to the sound of a war. You're saved by a Tenno that doesn't seem to like you. Your Cephalon... is helpful in every way that doesn't matter, and, let's face it, you're not really sure what to do. You just got out of a Cryopod. What do you do? Write this story so you don't get writer's block. Enjoy!
Warframe - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,199 - Reviews: 2 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/11
Street View reviews
Welcome to Dainishu Academy, the school to go to if you're not the military's favorite thing to work with! It doesn't matter if you're a reject rifle, a LEO-loving lead-slinger, or a civilian can-killer (not the can you wear, of course), you're welcome to apply! As you can expect, this is a new perspective for Upotte! Accepting OCs!
Upotte!!/うぽって!! - Rated: T - English - Humor/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,893 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 10/14/2014
Of Hearts and Souls reviews
Whatever happened to those glitches we loved? Well, here's one, and he is one HUGE unexpected Glitch in the system. What's worse? Something like him is only a story... Right? OC/? 'cause I'm tricky like that. R&R for me, k?
Hyperdimension Neptunia - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,495 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/1/2012 - Published: 10/10/2011
A Personal Reaper reviews
Shao Khan has not given up on aquiring Earthrealm yet. This time, Shang Tsung has given him a present; his own personal Reaper, named Sekkachi. When he is sent to Edenia, however... *BEING REMASTERED*
Mortal Kombat - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 9,085 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 4/24/2012 - Published: 4/19/2011 - Smoke
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