Author has written 1 story for Mass Effect.
HELLO PEOPLE OF THE WORLD. First off I gotta say I love this site because I found stories that made reading worth it :3.
Real name: Bobby J. Jones III
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Brown
sex: when I'm older
Likes: pokemon, animals (no matter how cute or ugly), my family, nice people, chocolate chip cookies, violent games, puzzle games, tower defense games, any genre of movie thats not a chick flick, any kind of music expecially rock
Dislikes: justin bieber, people with annoyin voices, justin bieber, loud constant unnecessary noise, rap music talkin about sex drugs violence or and combination, justin bieber, fangirls of justin bieber
if you couldn't tell i dont like justin bieber
By the way I'm gonna do my best to do a decent job of writin the fics I plan on doin
Well anyways I hope this is good enough for y'all to get a feel of what kind of person I am, but if it isn't then send me a PM or email me, any contact with random people I don't know will be welcome as long as you don't get on my bad side anyway shape or form
now for random things i've found on other people's channels that I like
101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen.
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to produce 200, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
If you have done any of these things and thought it was funny copy and post this on your profile.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
We're not retreating, we're advancing in the opposite direction.
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people
I am not crazy! You know what! The voices don't like you anymore!
Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired.
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh, he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask directions.
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
I hate it when the voices and my imaginary friends fight.
The trouble with life is there's no background music
The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality.
My night in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.
I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny
They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.
Weather Forecast for tonight: dark
Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. (I laughed so much at this XD)
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and thought, "WTF happened to my ceiling?"
If you're gonna go cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
Don't follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls.
You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the Earth.
When my mother is mad... she doesn't glare daggers, oh no... she glares pitch-forks!
I met some crazy people. They made me their leader!
I'm not afraid of death! What's it going to do? Kill me?
Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it!
Whenever you feel angry at someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away from them...AND YOU HAVE THEIR SHOES! BWHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sarcasm is your bodys natural defense against stupidity.
Don't make me mad, I am running out of places to hide bodies!
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run- he hates that.
I’m here because Heaven couldn’t let me in, and Hell was afraid I’d take over...
It doesn't matter if the glass is half full or half empty...just drink it and get on with your life.
Bravery is just a nice way of saying stupidity
Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy
A news reporter is someone who starts by saying "Good evening" and then proceeds to tell you why it isn't.
It's better to look stupid and keep your mouth closed than to open it and prove it.
If at first you don’t succeed...Cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, then why do they abduct the dumbest people on earth??
If crime fighters fight crime, and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door.
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
How important does a person have to be before they're considered assasinated instead of just murdered
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
This is really sweet...
When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her.".
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.
Repost this to your profile, and spare yourself the emotional stress.
If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile.
If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that poor Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.
If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
Do not argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them
Some people say 'if you can't beat them, join them'. I say 'If you can't beat
If at first you don't succeed...go back and reload the gun
Some people are only alive because it's illegal to kill them
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat
There are few problems that can’t be solved with high explosives
If two wrongs don't make a right, try three
Several people just lost the game.
You say J.B.-I say Skillet
have a nice day...