isfpkitten
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Joined 04-18-11, id: 2855028, Profile Updated: 04-28-12
Author has written 1 story for Hunger Games.

Umm... hi. so, most people arent going to understand my username. See, I totally love online personality quizzes so i took this 4-letter personality type quiz and got isfp, my animal personality type is a kitten.

I'm the mean one in my group of friends! ;D

My favorite color is yellow. Three is my lucky number.

Books I REALLY like: The hunger games, Twilight (audience groans, Twilight lovers beat them senseless), Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, The Inheritance Cycle, Incarceron, and assorted other books that pretty much nobody cares about.

No, I'm not talking to myself I'm talikng to my imaginary friend.

Isn't it fun to contradict yourself?

Well, I'm not clinically insane...

I don't have a short attention span I just- ooh shiny.

I love stupid people, they're funny and they make me feel smart. Smart people are boring.

I also love Jewish people, because of them we get 2 extra days off scool every year!

Everyone who says humans are the superior race is tottaly wrong. Fairies are the superior race, they're soooo superior we can't even prove they exist.

Why are the letters on the keyboard all capital if they come out lower case?

FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.

BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.

BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.

BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.

BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - bitch - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.

BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reasons why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.

BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.

BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.

BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.

BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.

BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (Aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You know we don't waste!"

FRIENDS: will take the knife, and leave you be.

BEST FRIENDS: will take the knife, and do a strip check every day for the next 3 years

FRIENDS: Would read and ignore this.

BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

Now on to the reason i actually bothered putting something on my profile in the 1st place.

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you like reading, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you know an anime character who should be real, then copy & paste into your profile.

If you have weird friends, copy this into your profile.

If YOU are weird, please copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think it's stupid that girls are automatically labeled with the color pink, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever threatened a computer, television, or video game console, add this to your profile.

If you think child abuse is horribly, horribly, wrong, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile

If you ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.

If you think Japan is cool, copy this into your profile.

If you are an absolute anime freak then copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway, copy and paste this is your profile.

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism!

If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile.

If you hate girly-girls or people who think that they are everything, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy & paste this in your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you ever got zoned out for more than five minutes copy and paste this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever said a number, but held up the wrong amount of fingers, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say right before you were going to say it copy this on your profile

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile

If you hate those mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy and paste this on your profile

If you have ever tried to make plans for world domination put this on your profile

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself and/or banged your head against a desk for no reason copy this on your profile

If you think the Co-co Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile

If you have ever yelled at your television because a character or someone you don't like was on,copy and paste this to your profile

If you get a kick out of explosions, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you would rather be a vampire than a zombie, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have read the Twilight series(or at least half of it), copy and paste this into your profile. You don't even have to like the series!

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile

If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.

If you think being unique is cooler than being cool copy this into your profile

If you have ever looked at something that wasn't there when somebody said "Look its _", copy onto profile

If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the hell of it, copy this into your profile

If you hate overly confident people copy this to your profile.

If you hate those bitchy people, copy and paste

I hate pop-ups. If you hate all the ads popping up while you're trying to read some story, copy this into your profile.

If you like to add 'ness' at the end of your favorite words copy and paste
this onto your profile...Awesomeness!

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their @sses off at the others

If you ever felt like its you against the world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. The irony...

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile

If you think that everything is much more fun in an english accent then copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you think that if girls ruled the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever talked to inanimate objects like they were people, and then tried to get others to do it too, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever realized that you were talking to a complete stranger facing away from you when you thought it was someone you knew, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you constantly argue with yourself, realize your arguing with yourself, wonder why you're arguing with yourself, then go right back to arguing with yourself copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.

If you always add thingy onto the end of what you call things you don't know the technical name for copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate typing in the middle of things because you constantly lose your place copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.

IMPORTANT- Teenage girls who are NOT in love with Edward Cullen/ Robert Pattison are fast becoming an endangered species. If you are part of this endangered species, copy and paste this in your profile. Quick, we need sponsers! :D:D:D:D:D

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, Battleground Heart, Kaity the Chameleon, xX-Arianna-hime-Xx,Lillith Black,MewCuxie12,chocolate covered charas,isfpkitten

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading #1, will try it.

3. And discover that #1 is a lie.

4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

5. You soon will forward this to another idiot..

6. There's still a stupid smile on your face

You know you live in 2010 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played Solitare with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they're not on Facebook.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you read this list you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

11.) Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for that... You know you did.

If you sit in your car waiting for the song you love to be over, then leave.

If someone tells you "don't look now", but you do anyway

If you love waking up in the middle of the night, and realizing you have more time to sleep

If you hate waking up from a good dream and it won't come back.

If your headphones are ALWAYS tangled.

If slow computers drive you CRAZY.

If you love laughing until it hurts and you can't breathe.

If you used to blow into video games and it actually made them work.

If you use your cell phone to see in the dark.

If you can't help but find everything hilarious at 4 AM.

If you think those 5 extra minutes of sleep really make a difference.

If your fridge has NOTHING in it to eat, no matter how full it is.

If all those years you watched Blues Clues, you never realized Blue was a GIRL.

If you can't stand to hear your own voice in videos or recordings.

If you pull out your phone and pretend to text in awkward situations.

If you check behind the shower curtain for murderers before getting in.

If you love people who text back instantly.

If you stand in the shower for ages because the hot water feels soooo good.

If you really wish you could record your dreams and watch them later.

If you don't consider people who have only seen the movies to be "real" Harry Potter fans.

If you wish music played during epic moments in your life, like in movies.

If you hate getting out of the shower and it's FREEZING.

If you walk a little faster when you see a creepy van.

If you hate how the best part of your dream is always right about to happen when you wake up.

If you haven't lost it... you just... haven't found it yet.

If you stop the microwave before it hits 0:00 to avoid hearing the loud BEEPs.

If you have to say the entire alphabet out loud because you can't remember what letter comes next.

If you get paranoid because the spider you saw five seconds ago isn't there anymore.

If you hate it when you think of a really good comeback after the argument.

If you love it when teachers get off track and tell you stories about their life.

If your favorite song always seems to come on right as you pull into your driveway.

If you mentally say "Wed-nes-day" when writing the word "Wednesday".

If you used to climb on furniture and pretend the floor was lava.

If you want to STRANGLE that kid who reminds the teacher about homework and quizzes.

If you were first in Mario Kart, you fell off a cliff, and then you were... last.

If whenever someone says 'I like your shirt', you look down to see what you're wearing.

If you hate when teachers say "From all the talking, I assume everyone is done."

If you have dropped your phone on your face while laying down texting.

If once you turn off all the lights in the basement you run the heck out of there.

If you feel like a ninja whenever you drop something and catch it.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it.

If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?

364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from
strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that?

My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it’s gone.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but my keyboard can crush your crummy pen!

Slinky + Escalator = Endless fun!

One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you

"What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" (Me: Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!)

I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned

I ran with scissors, and lived.

-If a stranger offers you a ride, only go with him if he has candy.

-BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

-Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

Be nice to losers. one day they might be cool!

- There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.

- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

- I'm not crazy- I'm psychotic . . . There's a difference!

- There's nothing that can't be fixed with: duct tape, chocolate, or by running it over.

- My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time.

- Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today

- Don't get mad; get sadistic.

Dont worry, we'll get threw this with inexpensive therapy, bubble wrap, and chocolate.

- Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

- Common sense is the enemy of comedy.

- Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART.

- My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.

- Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore studying is evil.

- I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!

-Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.

-The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

- When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

- Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

Being weird is like being normal, only better!!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me!!

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

God made man, knew he could do better, and made woman.

I was about to conquer the world but then I got distracted by something shiny

They laugh because we're losers...We laugh because they just figured it out.

Weather Forecast for tonight: dark

Doctors say I have multiple personalities. We disagree with that.

'Everyday I think people can't get any stupider. Everyday I'm proven horribly wrong.'

Don't follow in my footsteps...I walk into walls.

"You're not drunk until you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the Earth."

'When my mother is mad... she doesn't glare daggers, oh no... she glares pitch-forks!'

- Only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity.

- If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window...I will laugh.

- your a great friend but if the zombies come I'm tripping you.

- Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?

- What is this 'kindness' you speak of?

- Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever, you keep on talking.

- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

- You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

- Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

- The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

- He who laughs last didn't get it.

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it?

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then?

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders.

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

'You know what! Earth sucks, I’m going home.'

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer!

I live in my own little world. But that's okay; they know me here.

Confidence is the feeling you get before you understand the situation properly.

I find "good morning" a contradictory sentence.

If you never succeed on the first try, never go skydiving.

Never do anything that you can't explain to the paramedics.

I run with scissors; it makes me feel dangerous.

4/3's of the earth's population have trouble with fractions.

Eagles soar through the clouds, but at least weasles don't get sucked into jet engines.

Very few problems can't be solved with high-powered explosives.

When in doubt, make up words!

I will kill you in your sleep. . . . You laugh like I'm kidding.

I'm not afraid of Death. What's he going to do, kill me?

When people don't laugh at our jokes we don't think of it as a "You had to be there." type of thing. But more like a "You have to be mentally retarded like us." type of thing

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?

Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork.

Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

You're just jealous becasue I'm the only one the voices talk to.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, and so there is an 'I' in MEATPIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

Don't you dare tell me that the sky is the limit while there are footsteps on the moon!

I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

There are three kinds of people- those who count, and those who can't

You know it's going to be a bad day when you fall out of bed and miss the floor

If you never try, you'll never succeed... but you'll never fail either.

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere)
On a hair straightener: "Do not use in water." (Yes, because I always straighten my hair when I'm taking a bath.)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity copy and paste this into your profile! XD

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you culod raed that, put it in yuor pforlie!

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!

Ok one more thing for the nonexistent people reading this:

When life gives you lemons you...

Do NOT under any circumstances just make lemonade

Go buy apple juice

Ask for some strawberries because strawberry lemonade tastes way better

Make PINK lemonade just to be different

Make lemonade, poison it, and give it to your enemies. Be sure to say nice things at thier funerals, it defects suspicion.

Thank life for its generous gift

Throw them at the nearest person and wave sweetly when they turn to see who did it

Squirt them in peoples eyes

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it. When life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when it gives you even more, squirt them in their eyes and see how much life likes lemons then.

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for!

Throw them right back and tell life to make its own dang lemonade

Squirt them in lifes eyes and see how life likes lemons then

Throw them over your shoulder and go look for an orange

Free shit is cool

Give them right back and demand to talk to life's manager

Last but not least, just for the fun of it, look life right in the eye and eat them

Okay... I think my little scrolly-bar-thingy's small enough now... bye. ;D

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Shorts and Sweets by Dlvvanzor reviews
Sometimes it takes an Oreo cookie to decide who will be on top. All genres, characters, lengths, and levels of quality! LxL, MxM, or crack. Mostly humor. Rated for language.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 264 - Words: 89,374 - Reviews: 5479 - Favs: 683 - Follows: 488 - Updated: 3/26 - Published: 7/23/2009
The Little Things by FaithTrustAndALittlePixieDust reviews
Because it's the little things in life that really count. Oneshots between Rose and the men in her life. Ron, Hugo, Scorpius, Albus. I promise they're sweet.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 65 - Words: 35,927 - Reviews: 538 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 184 - Updated: 2/25/2014 - Published: 7/1/2010 - Scorpius M., Rose W.
City of Stories by Allibella731 reviews
100 insights into the lives of various characters. Drabble-style stories inspired by music and the Mortal Instruments. Walk with Simon, Clary, Magnus, Alec, Isabelle, the Lightwoods Jace, Sebastian, Jocelyn, countless Downworlders, and many others through the streets of the City of Stories. See snapshots of different characters' lives throughout the story. All canon.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 37 - Words: 22,154 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 48 - Updated: 1/31/2014 - Published: 6/25/2012
Dear Fanfiction by our dancing days reviews
... because, for the love of Peeta, the Reaping Ball is an inanimate object, and some people just need to be told thus. / A drabble series to fanfiction.
Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 95 - Words: 12,561 - Reviews: 3487 - Favs: 420 - Follows: 387 - Updated: 12/21/2013 - Published: 1/11/2012
Refractions by our dancing days reviews
"Because if one thing is wholly tragic, and beautiful, then it is the mirror at the back of that little shop in Diagon Alley. And its owner, of course." / One-shot on the deaths and lives of the Weasley twins.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,173 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/13/2012 - Fred W., George W. - Complete
Of Love And Insanity by Canaryinthemine reviews
What makes you fall in love? What makes you fall into insanity? Lydia believes they're both built of the same things. Because the things you'll do, say, think, and believe when you're in love are far too close to crazy for her comfort. And we know what they say about the truly crazy, they don't even know they've lost it until its too late. The same goes for those in love.
Teen Wolf - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 9 - Words: 43,644 - Reviews: 160 - Favs: 178 - Follows: 209 - Updated: 8/13/2012 - Published: 7/14/2012 - Stiles, Lydia M.
BandAid by HappyBunny6678 reviews
Eight year-old Stiles is with his dad at the station after the Hale fire. Derek's thirteen and sitting in the hallway so Stiles - who's just lost his mother - decides to go and try and make Derek feel better. Completely fluffyangst.
Teen Wolf - Rated: K - English - Hurt/Comfort/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,449 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 146 - Follows: 17 - Published: 8/11/2012 - Derek H., Stiles - Complete
And This Is Why You're A Stupid by Ratt9 reviews
A collection of Death Note rants by different characters regarding things the creators did to them. Generally drabble-ish.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 30 - Words: 10,546 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 97 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 4/16/2012 - Published: 11/15/2011
When Love Takes Over by Amulet Misty reviews
Rima has found out that she has feelings for Nagihiko. But only one problem, he's dating someone else, and even worse it's her best-friend, Amu. Will Rima be able to control her feelings? Or will love take over? Complete.
Shugo Chara! - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 60,786 - Reviews: 231 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 4/10/2012 - Published: 4/3/2010 - Rima M., Nadeshiko/Nagihiko F. - Complete
Drunk by write4evr reviews
If I just ignored it, I might make it through the night. If I told myself he was drunk, didn't know what he was saying, and didn't mean any of it, I'd be okay...
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,514 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 3 - Published: 4/8/2012 - Alec L., Jace W. - Complete
Injustice by Always the Escapist reviews
Mello's feelings while at L's funeral. Rated T for safety.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 539 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 6 - Published: 2/27/2012 - Mello, L - Complete
Golden by SweetDeamon reviews
The Wizengamot invite 5 year old Teddy Lupin, accompanied by his grandmother, to accept two posthumous Order of Merlin awards on behalf of his parents, and promptly bitterly regret their decision to do so... Oneshot.
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,696 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 332 - Follows: 22 - Published: 1/21/2012 - Teddy L., Harry P. - Complete
Somebody's by Echo1317 reviews
After six days in a bed in the infirmary of the Shadowhunter Institute of New York, the red-headed girl dies without ever waking up. *what if... Clary died?*one shot*
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,067 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 21 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/13/2011 - Clary F., Alec L. - Complete
Sparks will Fly by forever.blue.skies reviews
When Rima gets partnered with Nagihiko for a science project, the two of them aren't happy campers. But could some things happen that changes everything? -He was panting heavily and she looked at him worriedly as his face flushed a dark red.-
Shugo Chara! - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 69,963 - Reviews: 171 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 68 - Updated: 4/23/2011 - Published: 10/16/2010 - Nadeshiko/Nagihiko F., Rima M.
The Human Whose Name Is Written In This Fanfiction by Gen Duruk reviews
Tired of reading the same old terrible fanfiction? Want a good laugh? Want to improve your writing? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this fic is for you! If you answered no to all of them this fic is still for you! Reviews or flames welcome.
Death Note - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 29,459 - Reviews: 306 - Favs: 208 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 9/13/2009 - Published: 8/12/2009 - L, Ukita H. - Complete
The Last Victor reviews
Remember when Katniss is watching the recap of the games on victor's night? Remember how she wonders about all the victors who came before her, about how they faced it all alone. Well this is the story of the last person to go it all alone. Last Victor.
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 4 - Words: 3,042 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 1/18/2012 - Published: 5/30/2011 - Other tributes, Clove