Author has written 1 story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians.
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. Anastagia.
1. I never told you- Colbie Caillat- and Bubbly
What my dream is... TO BE A Artist!!!!!!!!!!
I am thinking of writing a story for Percy Jackson and the Olympians!!!
Maximum Ride is AMAZING!!!!!!!
BACK OFF FANGS MINE LADIES AND GAY MEN!!!!!MIIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ALL MINE,GET AWAY!
I love Percy/Nico becuase its cute.
I am going to say a little about me
I have a Nook Color and dont owe my friends money.
I am adopted from Russia and am sweet but hate Justin Beaver ( I know I spelled it wrong ...OR DID I???)
I love Evenecse(SP?)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Paramore!
I Never told you by Colbie Caillat
I miss those blue eyes
But I never told you
I see your blue eyes
But I never told you
But I never told you
Fax and Percabeth role the School and world!!!!!
I am a girl.
Copy and paste this acronym if you love Percy Jackson:
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" "little" brother
Atlas. Zoë's father.
Thalia Grace. Hunter and Lieutenant of Artemis and daughter of Zeus. (If only she would quit, she and Nico are meant to be and Aphrodite would agree with me)
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Being mature is overrated.
Being weird is like being normal, only better.
I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.
Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life?
As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up.
Silence is golden, duct tape is silver
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world wonder how you did it.
Life is like a pack of gum . . . I've yet to figure out why.
Be insane . . . because well behaved girls never made history.
If your name is Mr.Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch?
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.
Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.
To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world
One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
It’s always the last place you look. Of course it is why would I keep looking after I’ve found it?
Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner!
Growing old is mandatory . . . growing up is optional . . .
We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But we teenage girls are good at 2 things: Staying Strong, and Being Ourselves.
Life was so simple when boys had cooties!
Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.
I'm not random, I just have many thougt- OH! A SQUIRREL!
The Percy Jackson pledge:
I promise to remember Percy
whenever I'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
for Grover's sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
when my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
whenever I see a sign that says ''free pony ride''
I promise to remember Tyson
whenever a friend says they'll stick by my side
I promise to remember Thalia
whenever a friend is scared of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
whenever I see someone that gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
whenever I see a sister scold her younger brother
I promise to remember Nico
whenever I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
whenever I watch the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
whenever a limo passes my car.
yes I promise to remember PJO
wherever I may go
When True Love Comes, It Hits Only Once In A life Time You Either Run And Never Have A Chance Or You Embrace It!!
Ένα Αίμα μισό του μεγαλύτερου Θεών
Επτά Half αίματα απαντά Μια πρόσκληση
Mae Gwaed hanner y Duwiau hynaf
Shall saith gwaed Hanner Ateb galwad
Dimidium Sanguinis primogenite Deorum
Numquid septem sanguines Answer A Half vocant
I love you all but I am NOT DAMN LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X You own a cell phone.
X Black is one of your favorite colors.
X You can skateboard
X You love the computer.
X You watch/watched the Super bowl.
X You like loud music.
Guess im a geek... hooray...
IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murderer chanted," Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded
IMPORTANT MESSAGE: sAVE THE rAin foResT!!!!!!!!!!!
Edward, the idiot speaks up "How do you know we're vampires?"
"Shut it sparkles! I will not hesitate to kill you!" Percy Jackson yells at his sisters boyfriend, the gay Edward Cullen, he turned to his sister, Bella Swan, "What is it with you and gay, sparkly vampires?"
"Wanna bet sparkles?" I growled at Edward-o
INFOREST pEOPLE! wHAT HAS IT DONE TO U!!!
You say Twilight
Sometimes the ones best suited to leadership are the ones who have never sought it
If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.
Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?
Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film
All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.
When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice into your enemies eyes!
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and scream, "I wanted limes!"
Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before insulting them. That way, you'll be a mile away and have their shoes.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and sit back and watch while the rest of the world wonders how you did it.
Never argue with an idiot. They'll only drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt-Mark Twain
I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me... Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it-Albus Dumbledore
To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure-Albus Dumbledore
A good friend will always stab you in the front-Oscar Wilde
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot-John Lennon
"Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much." - Oscar Wilde
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken-Oscar Wilde
I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying-Oscar Wilde
It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt- Mark Twain
There's nothing to fear but fear itself-Franklin Roosevelt
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover-Mark Twain
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go-T.S Elliot
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail-Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it-Aristotle
Be the change you wish to see in the world-Mahatma Gandhi
No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings-William Blake
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear-Nelson Mandela
No one can make you feel inferior without your permission-Eleanor Roosevelt
The future depends on what we do in the present-Mahatma Gandhi
It is easier to be wise for others than for ourselves-Francois De La Rochefoucauld
Try not to become a man of success but a man of value-Albert Einstein
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit-Aristotle
Imagination is more important than knowledge-Albert Einstein
The unexamined life is not worth living-Socrates
It is hard to fail, but it is worse to never have tried to succeed-Theodore Roosevelt
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt-William Shakespeare
Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail-Harold R. McAlindon
Thoughts are but dreams till their effects be tried-William Shakespeare
To live is to think-Cicero
We bring forth weeds when our quick minds lie still-William Shakespeare
Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous-Confucius
Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself-Plato
The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple-Oscar Wilde
The block of granite which was an obstacle in the pathway of the weak, became a stepping-stone in the pathway of the strong-Thomas Carlyle
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall-Confucius
It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop-Confucius
The quote I live by. It'll take up more space in my already long profile, but here it is - Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.
Muffins are cool, but not as cool as this line._
This line is cool, but not as cool as puffins._
I like blueberry_
Llamas are cool, but not as cool as reviews. _
(Magical line of awsomeness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
25 Things my wonderful Mother taught me
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
19. My mother taught me ESP.
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE OBSESSED WITH PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS WHEN:
1.You buy everything you see with an owl or trident on it.
2.You yell “Burrito Fight!” whenever you’re in a Mexican restaurant.
3.You checked to make sure your vice-principal doesn’t have a tail.
4.You know which pages the good parts are on. (Only the chapters, and that’s almost all of them ;DD)
5.You suddenly hate thunderstorms. (I already do :p Ha! Take that, Zeus!)
6.You start hearing Percabeth in every song you hear.
7.You started calling your dog Mrs. O’Leary.
8.You start figuring out who your godly parent is. (I'm a mix between Apollo –hey, I’m an enthusiast :) oh yeah, and creative-, Hermes –Cuz’ I love the internet! Woo!-)
9.You never looked at a ballpoint pen the same way again.
10.You have a plan to get out of school early on May 5th so you can buy The Last Olympian, read it, and still have time to do your homework.
11.You ask the cashier at the store if they stock Mythomagic cards. (No, but I wish they did…)
12.You start doing pro/con lists in your head. During Math. When you’re supposed to be taking notes.
13.You start spelling character names out of your spelling words. (True, so true)
14.You start loving blue plastic hairbrushes and anyone who wields them.
15.Each day you check every fan site you know of for new information. (Whoa… is this thing reading my mind? )
16.You try to figure out how much food dye you need to turn chocolate chip cookies blue. (Thought it, but didn’t try it –though the only reason for that is cuz’ I dun have an oven- )
17.You make references to it in school reports and/or to friends that haven’t read it.
18.The first thing you ask someone when you meet them is, “Have you read PJO?” (Ooo… Aunt B? Did you type this quiz out? Why’re you sharing my secrets on the ‘net? Noo!)
19.On your trip to Washington D.C. you thought of Annabeth every time you saw a monument. (Never gone there before, but I want to)
20.You yell “Mizzenmast!” whenever you enter a boat.
21.You dream about PJO every night. (Not eevery night… maybe sometimes…)
22.You curse a god/goddess a lot. (I try to… But I end up saying shit more often. Haha.)
23.You have one (Or more) pictures relating to PJO in your room ( /phone)
24.You know PJO better then most sane people (Pft, heck yeah!)
25.You have links to every great PJO site
26.You add things to the list every day
27.You know what you would do if you were Percy
28.You argue with your friends about if Nico should turn evil or not (NO! Nico don't turn evil!!)
29.At least half of your friends have read all the PJO, or are going to in the very near future (I keep re-reading The Battle of the Labyrinth –I love the part where percy’s stuck in the volcano ;D -)
30.You wish you could find a rainbow to see if Iris messages work
31.For April Fools, you put a piece of paper over a card/cards and told your friends that they were Myth-O-Magic cards and they understood
32.Your friends all have a godly parent, and so do you, and your family, and your extended family, and your far, far, far away cuzs'
33.You are trying to learn Greek (HAHA! YEAH!)
34.You keep thinking about one of the PJO books when you go on a trip.
35.Every language you know is some form of Ancient greek.
36.You shriek everytime you see a guy with black hair and green eyes
37.You have an instant crush on Nico! (So true…)
38.You just have to research more about greek mythology (Did that. Know most of the things now. Would appreciate if people could give me short versions of the myths)
39.You call up theCampHalf Bloodnumber in LT.
40.You want to learn Latin
42.You copy/paste this onto your profile (Been there, done that)
43.About 75-100 of your fics are PJO related, even if it is a cross over
44.You have taken every test you can find about what demigodly parent you would/do/should have, and your friends have as well or are going to (Yup)
45.You make sure all of your friends (Or most of them), have an idea about what you say when talking about PJO
46.Your friends (At least one), think you are obbsessed with PJO, and you agree
47.A friend (or more), think you should start taking pills and/or going to a mental doctor, because you are so obsessed
48.You have one or more things related to PJO on your school stuff, and if someone asks you why, you tell them
49.You have something on your school things (Or home things), that says 'Daughter (Or son if you're a guy) of God/goddess', and you don't even try to hide it, even if it says daughter of Name of unliked god.goddess
50.You’re nodding and smiling when you read this (Gasp! It can tell the future… queue the alien music –WooWOOwoo…-)
51.You were so busy reading that you missed number 41
52.You are planning on adding a lot more things to this list
53.You have done at least 15 (Or more) of the above things
54.You are so obessed with PJO and the couple Percy-Annabeth, that you are proud to call yourselves supporters of Percabethism!! The one and only religion!!
(And the crowd goes WIIILD!!!)
Quotes From The Lightning Thief Movie, Copy And Paste This Onto Your Profile If You Loved The Movie:
Get up and fight...hero. Annabeth
You're being followed. Grover
I definitely have strong feelings for you, I just don't know if they're positive or negative yet. Annabeth
Well, let me know when you figure it out. Percy
You'll be the first. Annabeth
She will squash you like a bug. Grover
I'm a daughter of Athena. Do you know what that means? I always win. Annabeth
Well I always lose, but maybe we're both wrong. Percy
I've never had a satyr...visit me before. Persephrone
Mom, I think this dyselxia thing is getting worse, maybe it's the ADHD. Percy
Percy, this will all make sense some day. Sally
That was some nice demigod driving, girl. Grover
I USED TO DATE YOUR DADDY! Medusa
I'm the lightning thief. Luke
Promise me one thing, though; if you see my dad on the highway to hell, kick his ass. Luke
I can't pee with her staring at me! Grover
Let's get out of here before Homeland Security shows up. Annabeth
I'm going crazy! Ohhh, I'm going crazy! I need medicine. Percy
Come on, man. That's my mother right there. Have some respect. Percy
Yeah! Perrcy! Annabeth
Cool... Very cool. Annabeth
Ooh, double team. Grover
If there was a war with the gods, then I'd be stuck here with him...forever. Persephrone.
Sneak. A. Peek. Medusa
Chiron, you still got that wheelchair? He'll need it. Luke
Shouldn't we stop her? She's killing him. Grover
Are you kidding? This is the best part. Chiron
Now's not a good time, Perce. We're heading to the chapel! Grover
Oh, how romantic. Annabeth
LET'S STOP FOR THE NIGHT! LET'S STOP FOR THE NIGHT! Percy
Beat it, Nymphs. Annabeth
Woah, you're really going to kill the guy who saved the world? Grover
You're half-donkey? Percy
Percy, this is where you belong. Sally
Welcome home. Annabeth
Man, you burnin' money. That's practically treason! Grover (not sure if correct)
I think Persephrone really likes me. Grover
This is a pen! Percy
Click it. Grover
Feeling like a hero? Annabeth
101 Stupid things to do when you’re bored (Those in bold are the things I’ve done)
1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
Put this on your site
(Put this on your page if u like music)
So? What are you waiting for?
Find your favourite stories and read!
PERCY JACKSON ROCKZ FOR EVER AND ALWAYS!!! XD
If you want to be a writer someday, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have a mad crush on a fictional book character, copy and paste this into your
Tell me would you kill to save a life?
[Jared (Kanye: In back ground)]
Oh! This hurricane
Love people who can crack a joke at the worst moments
I Love people who understands the pain you went through
I Love people who tries to comfort you in your worst moments
I Love people who shows some respect
I Love people who doesn't judge until they get to know you
I Love people who tries their hardest to get things right
I Love people who work hard for their loved ones
I Love people who are grateful for god
I Love people who does great things and doesn't ask anything in return
I Love people who doesn't care what other people think
I Love people who speak with their own voices
I Love people who Loves God
This happened on TAM airlines.
A 50-something year old white woman arrived at her seat and saw that the passenger next to her was a black man.
Visibly furious, she called the air hostess.
"What's the problem, ma?" the hostess asked her
"Can't you see?" the lady said - "I was given a seat next to a black man. I can't seat here next to him. You have to change my seat"
- "Please, calm down, ma" - said the hostess
The hostess left and returned some minutes later.
"Madam, as I told you, there isn't any empty seat in this class- economy class.
And before the woman said anything, the hostess continued
"Look, it is unusual for our company to allow a passenger from the economy class change to the first class.
And turning to the black man, the hostess said:
"Which means, Sir, if you would be so nice to pack your handbag, we have reserved you a seat in the first class..."
And all the passengers nearby, who were shocked to see the scene started applauding, some standing on their feet."
SHARE IF YOU ARE AGAINST RACISM!
Couples I support:
Keeta (KatnissXPeeta) I like this better than Peeniss. It's sounds so perverted.
FinnickXAnnie (They're so cute together!)
GaleXForeverAlone (I just hate him so much!)
Percabeth (I Love Them! You can tell since half of my stories are about Percabeth relationship)
Tratie (They're kinda cute)
Beckendina (Sad they both had to die)
Couples I DON'T Support
Thalico (Hello People! Thalia's a hunter!)
Prachel (I don't hate Rachel, I just love Percabeth too much)
I deleted my first ever fanfic for various reasons, so please enjoy my other stories.
Annabeth's thoughts and actions towards Percy's disappearance and how she copes up and covers the giant hole in her heart. Ongoing.
Piper asked Annabeth about the rings around her camp necklace. But she did not expect that Annabeth Chase, Daughter of Athena and Official Architect of Olympus was ENGAGED. And to none other than the Savior of Olympus himself. Two-shot!
Best Night Yet:
Percy invites Annabeth to his cabin one night and Annabeth doesn't know why. Why is Percy wearing a suit? How does Percy make this the best night of her life yet? Find out. Pure Percabeth! One-Shot!
First Kiss. Or So We Think:
Jason, Piper and Leo were bored. So The Stolls gave them something to do. And that's watch a video of Percy and Annabeth's first and underwater kiss after the war, taken by the Stolls and pretty much the whole camp. But DONT TELL ANNABETH AND PERCY! One-shot.
High School For Annabeth Chase:
Annabeth surprises her boyfriend by transferring to Goode without him knowing.But what will happen when she finds out Percy is considered the hottest guy to walk school grounds and that a lot of girls were after him?Will Annabeth give up or fight for him? Ongoing.
I AM PRETTY LUCKY AFTER ALL:
Percy thinks about how demigods run away from their mortal families and realizes that he didn't have to go through it. He realizes how lucky he is to have a loving mom and he thinks about the other things he was lucky to have. One-shot.
I Love Truth Or Dare:
When the Stolls arrange a game of Truth or Dare,Percy and Annabeth's life will take a turn for the best.Why does Nico need to wear pink?Why are the Stolls wearing wigs?Will one kiss change Annabeth and Percy's life?Percy and Annabeth are not together yet. One-Shot
I'm Coming For You:
Percy has had enough. He was tired and restless from running from the gorgons. He just wants to sit down and give up. But everytime he does, that face pops up in his mind. Annabeth's face. And he stands back up. For her. Set during TSoN! One-shot!
Percy's friends think that his girlfriend, which he has been talking about, is fake and doesn't exist because she's too perfect. What happens when Annabeth decides to visit Percy one day? How ill Percy's friends react to her? One-Shot!
When a waiter flirts with Annabeth in front of Percy, he gets jealous and they start to fight, making Annabeth walk out of Percy's apartment. What will Percy do to get her back? Percabeth All The Way! One-Shot and Complete!
Next To You:
Percy sings a song for Annabeth at the campfire as a reminder of their first month anniversary. Chose this song cause I thought it was perfect for them and what they've been through together. One-Shot and Song Fic.
Run For Your Freakin' Lives!:
Percy and Annabeth are trying to make-out but someone always interrupts them. What happens when they stumble into a room and find a video that is not meant for their eyes? Set after the war against Gaea. Sequel to 'First Kiss Or So We Think' One-Shot!
She Doesn't Wear Lipstick:
Percy's having a normal day when he founds out that her girlfriend of one month which his friends doesn't believe in is transferring to his school. How will he take the news? How will Paul embarrass them in front of his class? Read to find out! One-shot
It's been a few months since the end of the war, but nightmares still haunt Katniss. One night, after waking up from a nightmare with Peeta beside her, she say's something she hasn't said to him yet. Thank You. First fanfic about the Hunger Games.
The Olympians Read 'The Lightning Thief':
Annabeth, Thalia, Nico and 8 other demigods are sent to past to read the PJO series with the Gods. Will the gods find out about Percy and Annabeth's relationship or that Percy is missing? And how will everyone react to Percy's thoughts and actions?
Anyway to all Percy Jackson fans out there please like my page on facebook.com :
And to all Maid Sama! fans please like my other page as well. I can give you updates on the manga and give RAWS:
ºø„ PERCY JACKSON „øº
„øº IS AWESOME!!! ºø„
Funny Quiz: Student got 0% in his exam even when he didn't get anything wrong.
Q1: In Which Battle Did Napoleon Die?
Ans: *In his last battle
Q2: Where Was The Declaration Of Independence Signed?
Ans: *At the bottom of the paper
Q3: River Ravi Flows In Which State?
Q4: What Is The Main Reason For Divorce?
Q5: What Is The Main Reason For Failure?
Q6: What Can You Never Eat For Breakfast?
Ans: *Lunch and Dinner
Q7: What Looks Like Half An Apple?
Ans: *the other half
Q8: If You Throw A Red Stone Into The Blue Sea, What Will It Become?
Ans: *It will simple become wet
Q9: How Can A Man Go Eight Days Without Sleeping?
Ans: *No problem, he sleeps at night
Q10: How Can You Lift An Elephant With One Hand?
Ans: *You will never find an elephant that only has one hand
Q11: It Took Eight Men Ten Hours To Build A Wall, How Long Will It Take Four Men To Build It?
Ans: *No time at all, the wall is already built
Q12: How Can You Drop An Egg On A Concrete Floor Without Cracking It?
Ans: *Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
When women triumph over stupid males...
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Man : If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Man: "But I don't know your name."
I'm Freakin' Bored!!
If a guy likes you for your breast, legs and thighs only. Send him to KFC. You're a lady, not a cheap value meal.
I want to die like my grandmother died- asleep and at peace...not screaming like the passengers in her car.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
People say "Guns don't kill people! People kill people!" Well, I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled out "BANG!" I don't think you'd kill too many people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.
I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.
Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.
You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Fuck it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'.
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
If you can stay calm while all around you is chaos, then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
Thanks for visiting my profile. Your not a stalker, right? RIGHT!?!
"If I do recall a certain Potter scream 'What in the bloody—?' when the owls descended from above…?" smirked Hermione.
"Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if I told you to find me a bezoar?"
"A what-now?" said Sirius, clearly confused.
Remus required a thick volume to appear next to him, and he began to contemplate it. He looked over at Sirius, who looked slightly unsettled at Remus's inspection.
Remus then raised the thick volume. Sirius looked confused.
Remus seemed to think about something, and then nodded to himself.
Sirius still looked confused.
Remus raised the book higher.
Sirius raised an eyebrow.
Remus smacked him over the head with it.
Everyone laughed at Sirius's dazed look.
"Well, we bow at thy feet, O' Mighty One. We are awed at your vast knowledge of such a complex study, please excuse our stupidity," said Cindy dryly, getting up and bowing at a conjured up dummy of a ridiculously ugly Professor Snape.
Harry stole a sheet of parchment from Sirius ("Hey!") and a quill. Dipping it in Sirius's inkwell ("Rude, much?"), he wrote something down on it quickly.
"OOH! WHATCHA GUNNA DO NOW, FOO'?" shouted Cindy, pointing at the book.
This just made them laugh harder.
"Harry Potter you just beat the Dark Lord Voldemort! What are you going to do next?"
"I'm going to Disney Land!"
"Girls are so swoony,
"Did you know," Jake continued, "That my roundhouse kick is the preffered method of execution in 17 states?" A lot of people laughed. "The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs. Jake Zerega? They changed the name though, because nobody would pay 9 dollars to see a movie 14 seconds long," Everybody laughed, but Jake was on a roll, and Nico started to smile. "I once punched a horse in the chin," Poseidon glared, "It's descendents are know known as giraffes." Everybody, including Nico and Poseidon laughed at that one, as they imagined a horses head stretching. "I can set bugs on fire with a magnifying glass," Athena raised an eyebrow, "At night." Jake finished. "If at first you don't succeed," he said, "You're not Jake Zerega." Everybody was on the floor roaring with laughter. "When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for me,"
"Wait," Connor said. "Those are Chuck Norris jokes!"
"How do you know my middle name?" Jake asked. "Dissed," Apollo yelled.
"I played Russian Rowlette with a fully loaded gun and won"
Everybody laughed so hard their stomachs hurt hours later.
"I'm the reason Waldo is hiding. Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Jake Zerega Pajamas. I once killed 37 terrorists with only two bullets...the first one was only a warning shot.
Death once had a near Jake Zerega experience."
Leo started choking he was laughing so hard.
"I can cut a hot knife with butter.
I once got bit by a rattlesnake." Annabeth gasped. "After three days of pain and agony..." Annabeth had to force herself to breath. Nobody was laughing at this 'joke'. "The rattlesnake died."
Everybody was on the floor with laughter. "I don't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
Yoda used to be 6 feet tall." "Are you tryin to diss Yoda?" Travis asked. "Then he tried that force crap on me."
Connor threw up he was laughing so hard.
"I don't mow the lawn," Then what do you do with the grass?" Hestia asked. "I go outside and dare the grass to grow. I can literaly kill time."
"What about Kronos," Percy asked. Jake shrugged.
"I'll have to try it next time I see him," he said with a grin.
He continued 'lightening the mood'.
"I can facebook on a telephone."
Hermes fell out of his chair, but didn't bother to get back up. "I never call the wrong number, you just answer the wrong phone.
I actually died 7 years ago." Annabeth inhaled. This wasn't a complete lie, except for the joke bit he's going to put in.
"Deaths just to scared to tell me." The Stolls', Leo, Hermes, Apollo, and Nico laughed so hard they all started vomiting.
Noticing that Nico was all better Jake said, "My work here is done, seeing that our lovely friend here is no longer depressed,
I think I'm finished." Jake walked off.
This is about a little girl who was abused, if
you care, copy and paste this in your profile
My name is sarah
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen
I cannot see,
I must be stupid
I must be bad,
What else could have made
My daddy so mad?
I wish I were better
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy
Would still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
All day long
When I awake
I'm all alone
The house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its much too late now,
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy,
child abuse, MAKE IT STOP!
When I was young I had this dream once about me going to this perfect world with little kids like me. There was this FAT ASS bitch their also. She tryed to eat us but we band together to kill her. When we got to earth she was there. And I was like "What the HELL! Die Mother Fucker! No Affence" I looked back at her. I walked up to her and bitten her in the arm. She was made of candy then we all ate her.
It was scarier in the dream abviousley.
If you think that being unique is better than being cool then put this on your profile.
If your ONE TRUE LOVE is an anime character, copy this into your profile.
FEMALE COMEBACKS!! pick up line comebacks, add to it
Man: Where have you been all my life? Woman: Hiding from you.
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: So, what do you do for a living? Woman: I'm a female impersonator.
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Woman: Do not enter.
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilized.
Man: Your body is like a temple. Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.
Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together
Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.
Man: Do you have a map? Because I am lost in your eyes. Woman: The only map I've got for you leads straight off a cliff.
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it
"A Muggle can see Hogwarts?" asked Draco, sneering.
"She can see through the Mist!" Percy replied. "Is she a witch?" sniffed Pansy.
"Are you an angel from above?" Percy retorted.
"Clearly not. Now shut up and listen to the story of my miserable life!"
Unsafe External Link