Author has written 10 stories for Silmarillion, and Lord of the Rings.
Hello, Insert Name Here! If you want information about what I write, press 1. If you are worried that I won't finish a fic I've started, press 2. If you want to read my answers to the questions I imagine my devoted fans would ask me if I had any, press 3. If you want a guided tour through my brain, press 4. If you want something else, press "send private message".
You have pressed 1.
I write silly stuff, poetry, and silly poetry. In case it isn't clear which stories belong to which categories, let me provide you with a handy dandy list.
Nívbarf: Silmarillion, Facebook News Feed Edition
The Unlikeliest Relationships in Arda
Daybreak in Valinor
Celegorm and Aredhel
No Song Can Hold The Sorrow
The Steward and the White Lady
Gil-galad is an Elven-king
You have pressed 2.
Be it bad or brilliant, brief or long,
Serious story or silly crackfic,
Parody, Poem or perhaps Adventure,
Tragical tale of times long gone,
Neither life, nor love, nor lack of reviews,
Boredom nor business, nor bad connection,
Shall keep Erwen's stories from completement;
Though plotless or pointless, or poorly written,
Badly rhyming or barely readable,
All shall be ended. This I swear...
Fics shall be finished in the future,
Cost what it will! My word hear thou,
Eru Allfather! To the everlasting
Darkness doom me if my deed faileth...
On the holy mountain hear in witness
and my vow remember, Manwe and Varda!
Nothing like an unbreakable oath to keep yourself motivated!
You have pressed 3.
You are aware that there are other books than the Silmarillion, right?
I have a room full of books. I rarely go anywhere without one. I get abstinence problems if I go more than a few days without reading one. I have written a book-themed version of My Favourite Things. Does that answer your question?
What are your favourite books?
Now, see, I'm not going to answer this one, because I know I'll end up with a really long list and still have missed one, and then I'll feel bad about that. Lots, okay?
So will you ever write non-Tolkien fanfics?
I wrote a few short Harry Potter fics for a contest when I was younger, and I have some Sorting-themed poems. Does that count?
Why don't you review more?
I honestly don't read all that much fanfic, but I do try to review what I read. Sometimes I forget, though.
Why didn't you reply to my review?
Either because I forgot or because I had nothing to say.
Why do you sometimes claim that your stories are old Elvish works, not something you came up with yourself?
Because it's true. From a certain point of view.
I'm confused. Have you actually been killed and replaced by your Elvish doppelganger?
How would you know the difference?
Where do you get your ideas from?
I steal them from you. I have invented a device that can reach into your mind through your screen and suck out all the ideas floating around in there that you weren't aware of. Just by reading this, you have probably given me ideas for three new stories already.
What are your favourite shades of awesome?
Octarine, kaleidoscope, silk blend, fun fur, mint chocolate, bowstrings, mandelbrot, and trees.
What is your MBTI type?
How do you feel about the Oxford comma?
I like it.
Could you seriously not come up with better questions than these?
My over-the-internet-stealing machine only works on fic ideas, not questions. And if I ever try to expand it, it'll be more in the direction of chocolate muffins. You want better questions, you'll have to ask them yourself.
You have pressed 4.
On second thought let's not go there. It's a silly place.