Erwen Brogiel
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Joined 04-21-11, id: 2862241, Profile Updated: 08-24-12
Author has written 10 stories for Silmarillion, and Lord of the Rings.

Hello, Insert Name Here! If you want information about what I write, press 1. If you are worried that I won't finish a fic I've started, press 2. If you want to read my answers to the questions I imagine my devoted fans would ask me if I had any, press 3. If you want a guided tour through my brain, press 4. If you want something else, press "send private message".

You have pressed 1.

I write silly stuff, poetry, and silly poetry. In case it isn't clear which stories belong to which categories, let me provide you with a handy dandy list.

Silly Stuff
Nívbarf: Silmarillion, Facebook News Feed Edition
The Unlikeliest Relationships in Arda
Daybreak in Valinor
Celegorm and Aredhel

No Song Can Hold The Sorrow
Beleriand, Beleriand
The Steward and the White Lady

Silly Poetry
Gil-galad is an Elven-king
Ungoliant's song

You have pressed 2.

Be it bad or brilliant, brief or long,
Serious story or silly crackfic,
Parody, Poem or perhaps Adventure,
Tragical tale of times long gone,
Neither life, nor love, nor lack of reviews,
Boredom nor business, nor bad connection,
Shall keep Erwen's stories from completement;
Though plotless or pointless, or poorly written,
Badly rhyming or barely readable,
All shall be ended. This I swear...
Fics shall be finished in the future,
Cost what it will! My word hear thou,
Eru Allfather! To the everlasting
Darkness doom me if my deed faileth...
On the holy mountain hear in witness
and my vow remember, Manwe and Varda!

Nothing like an unbreakable oath to keep yourself motivated!

You have pressed 3.

You are aware that there are other books than the Silmarillion, right?
I have a room full of books. I rarely go anywhere without one. I get abstinence problems if I go more than a few days without reading one. I have written a book-themed version of My Favourite Things. Does that answer your question?

What are your favourite books?
Now, see, I'm not going to answer this one, because I know I'll end up with a really long list and still have missed one, and then I'll feel bad about that. Lots, okay?

So will you ever write non-Tolkien fanfics?
I wrote a few short Harry Potter fics for a contest when I was younger, and I have some Sorting-themed poems. Does that count?

Why don't you review more?
I honestly don't read all that much fanfic, but I do try to review what I read. Sometimes I forget, though.

Why didn't you reply to my review?
Either because I forgot or because I had nothing to say.

Why do you sometimes claim that your stories are old Elvish works, not something you came up with yourself?
Because it's true. From a certain point of view.

I'm confused. Have you actually been killed and replaced by your Elvish doppelganger?
How would you know the difference?

Where do you get your ideas from?
I steal them from you. I have invented a device that can reach into your mind through your screen and suck out all the ideas floating around in there that you weren't aware of. Just by reading this, you have probably given me ideas for three new stories already.

What are your favourite shades of awesome?
Octarine, kaleidoscope, silk blend, fun fur, mint chocolate, bowstrings, mandelbrot, and trees.

What is your MBTI type?

How do you feel about the Oxford comma?
I like it.

Could you seriously not come up with better questions than these?
My over-the-internet-stealing machine only works on fic ideas, not questions. And if I ever try to expand it, it'll be more in the direction of chocolate muffins. You want better questions, you'll have to ask them yourself.

You have pressed 4.

On second thought let's not go there. It's a silly place.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Pizza Night in Imladris by CaelumBlue reviews
Elladan and Elrohir had only wanted Maglor to relax for a bit - not have a near-fatal reunion with two elves of Doriath, they swear. Nimrodel's snickering isn't helping. And WHERE is Mithrellas with the pizza? Modernday Elves, This Day and Age series.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 15,187 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 10/6/2016 - Published: 4/22/2011 - Maglor, Celeborn
Xenophobia in Beleriand by chisscientist reviews
In which everyone is prejudiced against everyone else.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,481 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 8/22/2016 - Published: 5/5/2010
The Song of Aragorn and Arwen by Mirach reviews
Beren walked lonely in the woods of Doriath for the whole winter, until Lúthien returned with the spring. Now Middle-earth is falling into darkness and winter again - but there is love that reaches through it with hope. A poem for Teitho: Elven Realms
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 303 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Published: 9/20/2009 - Aragorn, Arwen U. - Complete
Escape by fanged geranium reviews
Fëanor plots to escape from Mandos. Part 18: Tulkas cogitates.
Silmarillion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 21,600 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 5/7/2008 - Published: 6/10/2005
A Common Enemy by Enelya reviews
Fingolfin, recently come to Mandos, seeks out his half-brother for explanations of various issues in the house of Finwë. In short: it's all Finarfin's fault.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,371 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 98 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/22/2008 - Complete
The Darkening of Valinor by Enelya reviews
Yavanna is distraught, Manwë has a headache, Fëanor tries to fix things and Vána has a speaking part. A slightly different story of how the Two Trees were destroyed, and why the Noldor left Valinor.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,137 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 20 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/28/2007 - Complete
Fínvienyarna by erunyauve reviews
In the beginning, there was Elf hair. A rather silly parody.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,122 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Complete
Welcome to Valinor by fanged geranium reviews
The Valinorian Immigration Department can't let just anyone in.
Silmarillion - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 1,594 - Reviews: 42 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/28/2005 - Published: 10/7/2005
A Missing Horse by fanged geranium reviews
A series of connected ficlets about some of the differences between the bookverse and the movieverse. Chapter 7: An Extra Passenger. Complete.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,046 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 10/25/2005 - Published: 6/7/2005 - Complete
Morgoth's Notebook by Arandil reviews
Found in the ruins of what was once Angband. The original Dark Lord had quite the knack for badfic writing (and apparently a little "thing" for Fëanor). This is his notebook of ideas. Read at your own risk. Transcribed by Arandil for the HASA Challenge: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind. Winner: "The Merry and Pippin Award (Humor 2nd Place)" MEFA 2005
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 7,426 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 46 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 10/27/2004 - Published: 8/25/2004 - Morgoth, Fëanor - Complete
The Game of the Gods by Limyaael reviews
COMPLETE Morgoth and Varda are playing a little game. Morgoth's weapon: Mary Sues. Varda's weapon: Reality. Rated for violence and Vala OOCness.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Parody/Adventure - Chapters: 35 - Words: 73,692 - Reviews: 824 - Favs: 854 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 11/25/2003 - Published: 9/13/2003 - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Celegorm and Aredhel reviews
Romeo and Juliet set in Tirion before the Darkening of Valinor, starring Celegorm as Romeo, Aredhel as Juliet and Huan as Mercutio.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Parody/Tragedy - Chapters: 4 - Words: 2,361 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/11/2012 - Published: 8/21/2012 - Celegorm, Aredhel
The Steward and the White Lady reviews
High atop the eastern wall stand two figures proud and tall, one with hair as dark as night, one with locks of golden light... A poem about Éowyn and Faramir.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 208 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 7 - Published: 8/24/2012 - Faramir, Eowyn - Complete
I Heard the Sea Sing reviews
A short song about sea-longing from Galadriel's perspective.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 111 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 4/30/2012 - Galadriel - Complete
The Unlikeliest Relationships in Arda reviews
One-shots of crack pairings. Nimrodel/Took, Maedhros/Amlach, Curufin/Amarië, Ulmo/Nienor, Míriel/Anárion, Gollum/Goldberry, Orodreth/Thuringwethil, Aragorn/Finduilas, Uinen/Huan, Halbarad/Lobelia, Nerdanel/Celeborn, Glaurung/Morwen
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 12 - Words: 10,155 - Reviews: 36 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 4/23/2012 - Published: 5/20/2011
Ungoliant's song reviews
Ungoliant's more awesome than a modern Major-General; she'll feed on matters vegetable, animal and mineral. If this little description served to spark your curiosity, check out this silly song about a spider-shaped monstrosity!
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 426 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/18/2012 - Ungoliant - Complete
Nívbarf: Silmarillion, Facebook News Feed Version reviews
Inspired by the brilliant Hamlet Facebook News Feed Edition and Austenbook, I asked myself the question: what if Facebook had existed during the events of the Silmarillion? Now with Akallabêth and Of the Rings of Power.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 20 - Words: 7,907 - Reviews: 57 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 4/5/2012 - Published: 4/23/2011 - Complete
Gilgalad is an Elvenking reviews
An elvish drinking game which consists of singing about how everyone, from Celebrimbor to Elbereth, is in love with Gil-galad. Yes, it's weird.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,990 - Reviews: 73 - Favs: 56 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 4/1/2012 - Published: 2/28/2012 - Gil-Galad - Complete
Daybreak in Valinor reviews
Everyone's favourite Noldorin psycho finds out that he is a character in a story, escapes from Mandos and sets out to rebel against the author.
Silmarillion - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 25 - Words: 47,022 - Reviews: 60 - Favs: 48 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/28/2012 - Published: 10/3/2011 - Fëanor - Complete
Beleriand, Beleriand reviews
A poem about Beleriand, the land whose name will live forever in songs and stories.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 281 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 5 - Published: 2/13/2012 - Complete
No Song Can Hold The Sorrow reviews
...but maybe I can get points for trying? A song/poem about the fifth battle, Nirnaeth Arnoediad.
Silmarillion - Rated: K+ - English - Poetry/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 105 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 5 - Published: 9/26/2011