My pen-name was Bookgirl00 but I changed it to Double-O-Phoenix, I have brown hair and green eyes. My age changes every year so it would be useless to tell you.
ont of TV showing superhero shows*
I like CAPITALIZING random wORds in the middle OF sENtenSEs
I also like secret codes.
When you were 5, your mom gave you an ice-cream cone. You thanked her by yelling at her that it's the wrong kind.
When you were 9, your mom drove you from swimming to soccer to soccer and one birthday party to another. You thanked her by slamming the door and never looking back.
When you were 10, your mom paid for piano classes. You thanked her by never coming to class.
When you were 12, your mom was waiting for a very important call. You thaned her by talking on the phone all night.
When you were 14, your mom paid for a month away at summer camp. You thanked her by not bothering to write a single letter.
When you were 16, your mom taught you how to drive her car. You thanked her by taking it every chance you got.
When you were 18, your mom cried at your high school graduation. You thanked her by partying until dawn.
When you were 20, your mom drove you to college. You thanked her by saying goodbye outside the dorm so you wouldn't have to in front of your friends.
When you were 26, your mom paid for your wedding. You thanked her by moving halfway across the world.
When you were 30, your mom fell ill and needed you to take care of her. You thanked her by reading about the burden parents are to their children.
Then on night she died quietly and everything you did came crashing down on you.
If you love your mom, copy and paste this in your profile.
TO ALL MY FRIENDS:
1. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
2. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
3. When you are confused, I will use little words.
4. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.
5. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.
6.You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...
7.When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
FRIENDs:Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN DUDE! RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
FRIENDS:Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
OBITUARY FOR THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get Parental consent to administer Calpol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
And remember only two defining forces have ever
And the American Soldier.
One died for your soul,
If you agree... Keep it going
WHY BOYS SHOULDN'T CHEAT
There was once a girl named Ashley
Jack was the most popular guy in school.
Jack thought of Ashley as OKAY,
Courtney liked jack also.
Ashley and Courtney were worst enemies.
One day, Courtney asked Jack if he wanted to go to the movies.
Ashley heard everything...what movie theatre and what time.
Ashley approached the movies that night and followed Jack and Courtney.
She watched them get close to each other and kiss...not only kiss,
Ashley had peeked through Courtney's window.
The next day at school, Ashley wasn't there.
She committed suicide because she had loved Jack so much.
A note that read: My dearest Jack,
Always with you, Ashley
Please forward this or Ashley will haunt you and try
I didn't trip. I was just testing gravity... It still works.
Secret Admirer? More like a stalker with stationary.
When I say 'LOL,' I'm not 'laughing out loud.' I just have nothing better to say.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Sarcasm is my automatic response to stupidity.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit just a little bit harder.
If Walmart is lowering prices daily, then how come none of it is free yet?
Why does the psychic hotline ask for your credit card number? Shouldn't they already know it?
If scientists were ever going to figure out how to travel through time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura.
Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.
Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
Throw a rave.
Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"
Have a heated debate with yourself.
Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
Drum on every available surface.
Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
Propose to the other passengers.
Challenge people to duels.
Sell girl scout cookies.
Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
Shout "Food fight!"
Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!
Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
Practice your kung fu.
Make race car noises when people get on and off.
Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
Fly a model airplane.
Play the accordion
Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
If you're a Demigod copy this into your profile and sign your name
xXthe shadow huntressxX
The New Ace of Spies
HotChocolate in Summer/ImNotCrazyImMe
20 ways to keep a healthy level of insanity
1. During your lunch break, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on, point a hairdryer at passing cars, and see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, put "For smuggling diamonds."
7. End all your sentences in "In accordance with the prophecy."
8 Stop using punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Whenever you go out to eat, order diet water with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems "don't rhyme."
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell friends you can't attend their party because you're "not in the mood."
16. Have co-workers address you by your wrestling name, "Rock Bottom."
17. When money comes out the of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot screaming "Run for your lives! They're loose!" Keep count of how many people follow you.
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we're going to have to let one of you go."
20. Wherever you go, always remember: turn signals are a sign of weakness.
Perseus Jackson. Savior of Olympus.
Electricity. That's what will shock you if you mess with Thalia Grace.
Riptide. Percy's lethal ballpoint pen.
Clarisse. That's who will go after you if you beat her in a battle. (And you don't want an angry Clarisse. It's bad enough when she's not angry.)
Yellow duffle bags. Helped Percy, Tyson, and Annabeth.
Jason Grace. Thalia's "lost" little brother.
Annabeth Chase. Percy's girlfriend and official architect of Olympus.
Chiron. Trainer of heroes.
Kaleidoscope. What Piper's eyes look like to Jason.
Son of Neptune. The book we can't wait for.
Olympus. Home of the gods.
Nemesis. Ethan's mother. Don't worry, she's getting her revenge on his death.
Atlas. Zoe's father.
Never back down. The phrase that reminds me of TLO.
Dionysus. The god of wine. (More like the god of Diet Coke.)
Thalia Grace. Hunter of Artemis and daughter of Zeus.
Hephaestus. The father of our favorite fire boy. ;)
Empathy link. What Grover and Percy have. Saved Grover's life a couple of times.
Officers. The immortal skeletons dressed up as officers.
Lupa. The she-wolf we all want to know about.
Morpheus. The gods of dreams. Put NYC asleep during TLO.
Persephone. The kidnapped wife of Hades. Believes every hero is brave and wants to give them a chance.
Ichor. The blood of the gods.
Artemis. Goddess of the Hunt. Has hunters, including Thalia.
Nothing lasts forever. Even the gods.
Switched. Percy and Jason are switched. Jason at CHB, Percy at Legion Camp.
The 39 Clues Pledge
When I'm at a funeral, I'll always wonder if the person who died was a Cahill.
Percy Jackson Pledge
I promise to remember Percy
Whenever i'm at sea
I promise to remember Annabeth
Whenever a spider comes at me
I promise to protect nature
For Grovers sake of course
I promise to remember Luke
Whenever my heart fills with remorse
I promise to remember Chiron
Whenever I see a "free pony ride"
I promise to remember Thalia
When a friends afraid of heights
I promise to remember Clarisse
Whenever someone gives me a fright
I promise to remember Bianca
When a sister scolds her brother
I promise to remember Nico
When I see someone who doesn't get along with others
I promise to remember Zoe
When I look up at the stars
I promise to remember Rachel
When a limo passes my car
Yes I promise to remember PJO
Wherever I may go.
(the reason you joined)REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE:
1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.
If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile.
If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.
There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
My name is Ann and I am 45 years
What a great email it was!!
Just scroll down to the end, but
Go for it!
Congratulations! Your wish will
Now follow this carefully...it
If you repost this within the next 5 min.
This is scary!
The phone will ring right after you repost!
NORMAL PEOPLE: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
ALZHEIMERS' EYE TEST
Count every "F" in the following text:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE
THERE ARE 6 - no joke.
The reasoning behind this is the brain cannot process 'OF'
Anyone who counts all 6 "F's" on the first go is a genius.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
You talk to yourself a lot. (e.g. Hmm, what would happen if it was sunny the day Bella got hit by the van? Oh, story idea!! Must get computer!)
You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')
When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')
After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'
You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)
You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.
You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.
No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (once a key actually fell off!)
Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
People think you have A.D.D.
You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
You zone out even with other people.
You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason
Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
You're profile is REALLY long.
Your computer runs out of memory.
You can't stop writing!
Your parents take away your computer, and you almost die. Literally.
And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.
Put this on your profile if you're an author! :D
I don't know some of the characters, but I found this and it was too good( thanks Holly Marie Fowl) sorry if you're mad at me because i changed it a little bit.
Write Down Ten Random Characters. (Do not read if you actually like Edward)
1. Artemis Fowl
5. Peter Bishop
1 Four invites Three and Eight to dinner at their own house. What happens?
Foaly: So Julius. . .
Julius: DON’T CALL ME JULIUS!!!
Holly: Here we go. . .
2 You need to stay at a friend's house for a night. Whose house, One or Six?
3 Two and Seven are making out when Ten walks in. Ten's reaction?
4 Three falls in love with Six. Eight is jealous. What happens?
5 Four jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who rescues you, two, ten, or seven?
Opal: (grabs truffles) Oh, this is good. (cackles maniacally)
Edward: Oh! Some human in danger! Moral senses tingling! Must help! (runs into a wall, then runs into sunlight and uselessly sparkles)
Clarice: FBI! FREEZE!
6 One decides to start a cooking show. Fifteen minutes later, what happens?
7 Three has to marry either Eight, Four, or Nine. Who do they choose?
8 Seven kidnaps Two and demands something from Five for Two's release. What is it?
9 Everyone gangs up on Three. Does Three stand a chance?
10 Everyone is invited to Two and Seven's wedding except for Eight. How does Eight react?
11 Why is Six afraid of Seven?
12 Nine arrives too late for Two and Seven's wedding. What happens and why were they late?
13 Nine murders Two's best friend (Has to be someone on the list). What does Two do to get back?
14 Six and One are in mortal danger. Does Six save One or themselves?
15 Eight and Three go camping. But they forget food. What do they do?
Foaly: (panicing, running around in circles)
Holly: I’m leaving.
Foaly: (keeps freaking out)
16 The quiz is over. By the way, how did Two and Seven end up?
(I got this from Emachinescat's profile) Fun Stuff :)
Inspired by the scenarios on Ultra Geek's profile and using questions/scenarios from the board game "Imaginiff," I'm going to list 8 characters from multiple fandoms... and then answer the questions about them. Should be fun. You can try it too! :D
1. Merlin (Merlin)
2. Flynn Ryder (Tangled)
3. Arthur (Merlin)
4. Jack Sparrow (Pirates)
5. Halt (Ranger's Apprentice)
6. Gwaine (Merlin)
7. Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson)
8. Gaius (Merlin)
4 and 8 had a thumb wrestling match. Of the two, which would arise victorious?
There is an air guitar contest. Which character would dominate with over-the-top moves and relentless energy?
All of the characters are arrested during a bank heist. Which would talk first?
All of the characters are trying to give something up. Which character would successfully go cold turkey?
What if the characters were Hostess snack cakes? o.O Which would be a Twinkie?
What if the characters were mythical creatures? Which would be Pegasus, the winged horse?
What if the characters were cavemen? Which would have invented the wheel?
What if they were pairs of slippers? Which would be a pair of fuzzy slippers?
What if they were bodies of water? Which would be the Fountain of Youth?
The characters are all on a camping trip together. Which would most crave the conveniences of home?
What if the characters were pieces of sporting equipment? Which would be a bowling ball?
What if the characters were games? Which would be a Barrel of Monkeys?
What if they were all pairs of shoes? Which would be flip-flops?
It is a blustery, snowy day. Which character would most likely brush the snow off the boss's car, hoping to win brownie points?
All of the characters are contestants on a reality TV singing show. Which would make it the furthest in the competition?
R.I.P.- Albus Dumbledore , Sirius Black, Hedwig, Mad-Eye Moody, Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Fred Weasley, Dobby, Colin Creevey, Cedric Diggory, Julius Root, Zoë Nightshade, Bianca di Angelo, Castor (son of Mr. D), Pan, Quintus/Daedalus, Lee Fletcher, and all of the other Demigods who fell fighting for Camp Half-Blood.
They will never be forgotten.
I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Artemis Fowl, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, secilmis yazar, Holly Marie Fowl, Bookgirl00
Thanks to Jedi Tameer Crowe for all this great material!*
If you are one of the proud teens/adults who have a v-o-c-a-b-u-l-a-r-y and do not limit themselves to "omg!" and "Like, that is, like, so, like, totally awsome...!". copy and paste this into your profile.
If reading is a buzzilion times better than watching brain-numbing TV, copy and paste this into your profile.
…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….
….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…
...without all the red and gold crap.
…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…
…Who fought bravely to the very end….
…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…
…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…
… with many jokes…
...he's got forever to think of them, right?
…In Remembrance to Dobby…
…Who was more free and full of love…
...than any elf, and most humans.
….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….
...the last real Marauderer...
…who was not just a wonderful father…
….a incredible husband and brave hero…
...as well as an awesome werewolf.
….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…
…who died for ‘the greater good’…
...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.
…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….
…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…
...and scared the crap out of some kids too.
In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…
… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!
She deserved everything she got and more.
…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…
…who we really didn’t know too well…
…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…
…so he must’ve done something good…
…besides stalking Harry.
…In Remembrance of Hedwig…
...Harry's actual first friend…
...who lived and died soaring
If you know there's more to good random humor than saying "cheese", "fudge", or "pie", copy and paste this into your profile.
If you often read three or more books at the same time, copy and paste this into your profile
If you think that being normal is vastly overrated, copy and paste this onto your profile.
Got a problem with me? Solve it
Think I'm trippin? Tie my shoe
Can't stand me? Sit down
Can't face me? Turn around
Love me? Great
Hate me? Even better
Think I'm ugly? Don't look at me
Don't like my style? Don't like yours
Don't know me? Don't judge me
Think u know me? You have NO idea!
I'm me. Hate it? Get over it
Calling me FAKE won't make you REAL,
Calling me DUMB won't make you SMART,
Calling me WEAK won't make you STRONG,
Calling me UGLY won't make you BEAUTIFUL,
-You may call it being a smart-aleck, I call it explaining why you're an idiot.
-Look to your left, look to your right, look ahead, just never look back.
-If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way you're going to regret it, so you might as well just do it.
-When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
-Just a big burst of sunshine. That's me.
-If the pen is mightier than the sword, how come actions speak louder than words?
-"We're being led by an idiot with a crayon"
-Whoever says sunshine brings happiness has never danced in the rain.
-Obsession? What do you mean, I have an obsession? (hides book behind back)
-Don't mess with me, I have a stick.
-Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.
-Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry they bring about a change.
-If you can't see the bright side of life, polish up the dull side.
-I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.
-Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.
-I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.
-The absolute greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't.
-Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides know they're playing.
-Does being fluent in sarcasm count as a second language?
-Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.
-Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.
-"...Avoid roasted cabbage, do not eat earwax, and always look on the bright side of life!" -Angela the Herbalist
-I'm so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying.
-Come to the dark side...we have cookies you can chuck at people.
-Everything is possible. The impossible just takes longer.
-Life isn't weird. It's just the people in it.
-You think you're all that and a bag of chips. Yeah, well I'm all that and a bag of skittles. Taste my rainbow
-Even I don't trust my better judgement. What's that say to you?"
-"You have enemies? Good, because that means you've stood for something sometime in your life."
-If you are a serial killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME. If you are a cereal killer, GET THE HECK AWAY FROM MY FROOT LOOPS.
-"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the heck is drinking my dang soda."
-"Most people learn by observation, A few learn by experimentation, And then there are those like me who actually touch the fire to to see if it's hot."
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
-I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment instead?
-"The only infinite things are the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the first one."
-"I have not failed, I have just found 1, 000 ways that won't work."-Thomas Edison
-Sometimes you just have to smile. Pretend everything's okay. Hold back the tears, and just walk away
-Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accpet no ones's defintion of your life: define yourself. - Harvey Fierstein
-Lord Cutler Beckett: (Jack is about to light a cannon that's pointed at the mast) You're mad. Jack Sparrow: Thank goodness for that, 'cause if I wasn't this would probably never work.(fires the cannon, which catapults him onto his ship, landing safely on his feet behind his crew) Jack Sparrow: And that was without even a single drop of rum. Lord Cutler Becket and Jack "At World's End"
-Good friends brush grass out of your hair. Best friends throw more on and yell "YAY" when it sticks.
-"Hiya Peeves," Harry said brightly, pulling the Invisibility Cloak off of him but leaving it to cover the others.
-"It's not our fault we're not insane," Hermione said, crossing her arms. "No offense, Luna."
-"There are two kinds of people who hear voices. Schizophrenics, and writers. Sometimes the line between them can be very thin."
-Jack Sparrow: -issuing orders-
-Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before. (Unknown but funny)
-My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating.
-My mind is a very scary place.
-I'm not a smart mouth...I'm simply stating my individuality.
-I may forget what someone may say or do but I do not forget how they made me feel.
-Why is life giving everyone else lemons? I'm sitting here with a grapefruit thinking "what the heck?"
-Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my dear children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. (Sque it's Johnnny Depp as Willy Wonka!)
The Crazy Hyperactive Authoress To-Do List: Created by Wolf (She-Who-Has-A-Very-Long-Name)
1.) Write Saw: The Musical.
2.) Develop the ability to talk to vegetables.
3.) Learn how to "billow" like Severus Snape.
4.) Make action figure of yourself.
5.) Prove to the world that gay sparkly vampires are even more pathetic than they believe.
6.) Enrage obsessed fan girls.
7.) Scream out random endings when walking out of the movie theater. (I can't believe it! Optimus killed Sam and ran off with Megatron!)
8.) Teach monkeys how to skydive.
9.) Create first ever cheese laser.
10.) Have own theme music.
11.) Find the penny at the bottom of the razor blade and and salt-filled jar.
12.) Discover why Dora the Explorer's parents let her explore the world all by herself.
13.) Sing made-up lyrics to Christmas Carols. During the summer.
14.) Read Shakespeare. You know, like in Romeo and Juliet, where Juliet fights that lion, and Romeo destroys the giant space station, and they all go to Burger King...yeah, I don't really know my Shakespeare stuff that well.
15.) Also prove to the children how Santa sits on the throne of lies.
16.) If this isn't enough, scream "I GOT CAKE MIX!" all the time. (Nemesis.)
17.) Warn younger children that if they aren't good this Christmas, Santa's little Dementors will come and suck all of their happiness away. Run from livid parents.
18.) Use security cameras as mirrors to pick your nose.
19.) Run around with a Force FX lightsaber, claimign you are a Jedi that must slay the evils of the world. Then attack anyone wearing Hannah Montana apparel.
20.) Develop sense of irony.
21.) Don't die yet.
22.) Copy and paste this onto your profile if you're an insane authoress/author, too!(-I got this from xXJediKnightBlazeXx!)
You Know You're a Book Addict If:
You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.
You write fanfictions about the book. (teehehe)
You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it.
You accidentally call everyone by the character's names.
Everything reminds you of the book.
You quote random lines all the time.
You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class (e.g. flip a desk over then fly out the window, turn into a wolf and maul someone, turn invisible and 'haunt' the school then laugh as the FBI freaks out, light your book on fire and cackle demonically...)
You have pictures of your favorite characters on your iPod.
You've got a book memorized.
You've read a book more than five times.
You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.
You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.
You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.
You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (e.g. Too bad murtagh is fictional)
You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
Your idol is a character from a book
Copy & Paste:
If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.
98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent that hasn't , copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that idiot girl in the Eggo waffle commercial should give her father some of those stupid waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile.
92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it's uncool to breathe.Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their butts of at the others.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that your are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior,and you want everyone visits sees your profile to know, copy and paste this into your profile.
Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!
I don't write slash! if you don't write slash, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think that the goverment should keep"One nation under God..."in the pledge of allegiance,copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.
Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile, and add your name to the list. AnimeKittyCafe, Hyperactivley Bored, Gem W, Bara-Minamino, Yavie Aelinel, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, Shadow929, The Astrology Nerd, brown-eyed angelofmusic, piratesswriter/fairy to be, The Gypsy-Pirate Queen,xGabriellaxBoltonx, xEarlySunsetsOverMonroevillex, Smartest Girl In The World,'rEd RoSe-StArFiRe-RoSeFiRe', Zwergschnauzer, dablackfox101, mushroomcloudslooklikebroccoli, IwuvMyKenshyPoo, Heidiplease, iNsOmNiAc BiLlIe JoE lOvEr, Black Panther Warrior, kailover 2006, Iluvbeyblade, Wolf Pyralis, Rabid Rabbit's Rampage, BloodySalvation, Sonicalia, metal.lamp-silvertongue, Kaity Chameleon,WeaselChick, The All Real Numbers Symbol, thessan11, Bookgirl00
If you know our society is moving in the wrong direction, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.
If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. (If it only were ONE! I'm having problem sorting them out!
If you are called 'weird' at least 5 times a day, post this in your profile (only five? hehe)
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile. (I'm famous as the living radio in the stable...)
If you are a bookworm, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list. stateofmind7337, GuardianOfTheMorningStar, frodoschick thessan11 (My dad scrowls every time he sees the book mess in my room, says I'm going to have more book then the library soon)
TRY NOT TO CRY:
In Loving Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost. Please if you would, pass this around. I'd be happy if you could; don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, maybe people will cry. Just keep this in your heart for the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye". Now you have 2 choices, 1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as "Try Not To Cry" 2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how cold-hearted you really are.
If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you like to read what people put in their profiles,And you like Copy& Paste stuff,copy and paste this into your profile.
98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you utterly loathe and dispise Hannah Montana, copy and paste this into your profile and add your name to the list! PorcelainHeart94, Darth KenObi-Wan,JediWolfMaster, Jedi Ani Unduli, Bookgirl00, Thessan11
Too many kids and teenagers have smoked or tried marijuana. If you haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile
If you are aware that so many people nowadays pretend to be someone they're not, copy this on your profile.
Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.
If you are weird, insane, crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, psychotic, random or anything similar, copy this into your profile
98 of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile
93 percent of teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile.
I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy but I'm just random! If you are random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.
Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile
If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro
Good Friend: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
Best Friend: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions
Good Friend: Will help me learn to drive
Best Friend: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance
Good Friend: Will watch my pets when I go away
Best Friend: Won't let me go away
Good Friend: Will help me up when I fall down
Best Friend: Will point and laugh because she tripped me
Good Friend: Will bail me out of jail
Best Friend: Will be sitting beside me saying "That was awesome! Lets do it again!"
Good Friend: Will go to a concert with me
Best Friend: Will kidnap the band with me
Good Friend: Calls my parents "Mr." or "Mrs."
Best Friend: Calls my parents "Mom" or "Dad"
Good Friend: Asks me for my number
Best friend: Asks me for her number
Good Friend: Hides me from the cops
Best Friend: is probably the reason they are after me in the first place
Good Friend: lets me make an idiot of myself in public
Best Friend: Is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.
Good friend: asks why you're crying
Best friend: already has the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry
Good Friends: Fade
Best Friends: Are 4 Ever
Your unique, just like everyone else--found on a poster at school
"When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back."
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up.
Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.
Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through.
"The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break."
If olive oil comes from olive's then where does baby oil come from?
Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.
Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5, and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696969696969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, and date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it?
Re-post this if you truly believe in God, and even if you don't.
Even when you can’t see him GOD is there! If you believe in GOD put this in your profile
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
He had no degree, yet they called him Teacher...
He had no medicine, yet they called him Healer...
He had no army, yet kings feared him...
He won no military battles, yet he conquered the World...
He committed no crime, yet they crucified Him...
He was buried in a tomb, yet He lives today
Feel honored to serve such a leader who loves us...
If you believe in God and Jesus Christ his Son
then copy and paste this in your profile
If you ignore him, in the Holy Bible, Jesus says...
" If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven..."
If you love God with your whole heart and are 100 percent proud of it, copy & paste this in your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this; because in the Bible, it says that if you deny me, then I shall deny you before my Father in the gates of Heaven.
I’m a Christian and proud of it!! If you are a Christian please copy & paste this and then add your name here: Riku’s Music Lover, libithewolf, Spottedpaw13, xXObsidian BlazeXx, Bookgirl00
Man: Where have you been all my life?
Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Man: Is this seat empty?
Man: Your place or mine?
Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Man: Your body is like a temple.
Man: I would go to the ends of the world for you.
Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put u and i together.
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.
Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Girls, copy and paste this on your profile!
How do you tell the difference between fake and real friends?
FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.
FAKE FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
FAKE FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
FAKE FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
FAKE FRIENDS: Say no when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore this
Whoever said that nothing's impossible obviously hasn't tried slamming a revolving door.
Whoever said "Words don't hurt" obviously hasn't gotten a hard-back encyclopedia thrown at his head before.
When the going gets tough, kick whoever made it that way.
Behind every great man is a woman shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
When you cry, I cry. When you laugh, I laugh. When you leap off a cliff, I laugh harder.
If you can't beat 'em, join'em. If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em. If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em. If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em. If you can't kill 'em, you’re screwed.
Rhetorical questions are persuasive, aren't they?
He who laughs last probably didn't get the joke at first.
Life is difficult. It's full of trials, sorrow and pain. However, if you fall down, just stand up straight, be confident and say... "WHICH IDIOT PUSHED ME?!"
Silence is gold. Duct tape is silver.
If you do it, you'll regret it. If you don't do it, you'll regret it. Either way, you're still gonna regret it, so why not just do it?
A mechanic once told someone, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
A drunken man once said this to a cop. "Here Officer, hold my beer while I find my license."
Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Best friends for life! ...or at least 'till our next fight.
Isn't it funny how a heart shape is just two teardrops upside down?
I'm only smiling 'cos I have no idea what's going on.
Before Love, my heart was a black hole. After Love, I din't have a heart, I still dunno which is worse.
I'm sure someone in this world cares that you're alive... It just isn't me.
I looked up at the stars one night and thought, "Where the heck did my ceiling go?!"
People say life's short. I say I'm shorter.
As an older, more mature adult, your job is to...make fun of the little kids!
There are easier things in life than finding a good lover. Like nailing a Jell-O to a tree, for instance.
What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you realize that you're on fire? Do you remember to stop, drop and roll? Or do you just start running around in circles, screaming, "I'M ON FIRE!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!"
I was never anyone's friend in the first place, therefore I can't be called a traitor.
If a safety pin, duct tape or a band-aid can't fix it, then you have a serious problem.
Give me a chance to shine and I will blind the world!
Three people can keep a secret if two are dead.
I'm gonna live forever!...Or die trying.
A man walked into a bar and said..."OUCH!!"
War doesn't determine who's right, it determines who's left.
Come to the dark side, we have cookies!
I went to the dark side. Yeah, they lied about the cookies.
Dear Dark Side, you may have the cookies, but we have the MILK!
I stopped fighting with my inner demons. We're on the same side now.
OMG! THE RAIN'S WET!
I'm not AD--Ooh, look, a butterfly!
ADOSH: Attention Deficit-Ohh Shiny Thing
I'm a dinosaur, so, like, rawr and stuff.
God made men first, then he had a better idea!
Nope, can't go to heck. Satan still has that restraining order against me...
I reject your reality and substitute my own.
Women are angels. When someone breaks our wings, we continue flying...on broomsticks.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan goes, "Oh, crap, she's up!"
I'm probably the coolest dork you'll ever meet.
I'm cute...now give me my cookies.
Boys in books are just...Better!
It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces.
You couldn't handle me...even in your wildest dreams.
ADHD writer: Once upon a -- no...There was once a -- no...THE END! >.
P.M.S: Pissed At Men Syndrome
You know you're a geek when procrastination doesn't affect your grades.
I have nothing against God, it's his fan club I can't stand!
I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is human’s way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking too good, either.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them
It's you and me versus the world...we attack at dawn.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear intelligent until you hear them speak.
This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gunhelps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.
If that inatimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
If you're against abortion, re-post this and if you almost cried post this in your profile
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK,When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turnBLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism.
...You're still here, wow you must be bored.
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