Sniperrolf
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Joined 04-26-11, id: 2875763, Profile Updated: 12-14-12
Author has written 7 stories for Final Fantasy VII, Ghost Hunt, Pandora Hearts, Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles, and Xenoblade Chronicles.

I've been making youtube videos as of late, (reviewing video games is what I plan to do most of the time) if you want to watch what I've done, you can find my account here. :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/sniperrolfandfriends

About me:

There was a man born in 1343 who had been raised by beavers (don't ask). One day, a knight came and picked the boy up and adopted him. The boy became rather fond of reading, and had read the whole library in less than a week.

Until one day, he lit a match.

And found out that books burn.

Really, 'really', well.

His punishment for burning down the library was that everything that was in it, he must rewrite.

Of course, the boy didn't know how 'all' of the stories went. So while writing the parts that he didn't like, he changed things, like who died.

And so the first AU's were born.

But that's not me.

One day in 1900 on a cold and dark night, where the winds were cold and the sky was dark. In a dark cold house, there was a man who was cold in his dark room. To try and keep his fingers warm, he started writing fan fiction.

But sadly, before he could finish his first story, his fingers froze.

But that's also not me.

One day a man had stole a apple from the market. He was caught, and, as punishment, the evil queen made him write horrible fan fiction with OOC everything... Anything good he wrote was thrown into the fire, because she said it was horrible.

And thank God that's not me.

One day, a man told his writing friend that he had ideas for stories.

And so she bugged him until he wrote them down.

And then he found out about fanfiction.net

Oh joy...

Now that's me.

Random things:

Don't let the Moogles fool you. They are going to kill everyone and become the main characters in Final Fantasy.

Don't eat the cabbages!

There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary, and those who don't.

The most funny code in the world.

LOLCODE:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHX
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE

XD

C
You shoot yourself in the foot.

C Plus Plus
You accidentally create a dozen clones of yourself and shoot them all in the foot. Providing emergency medical assistance is impossible since you can’t tell which are bitwise copies and which are just pointing at others and saying, “That’s me, over there.”

JAVA
After importing java.awt.right.foot.* and java.awt.gun.right.hand., and writing the classes and methods of those classes needed, you’ve forgotten what the hell you’re doing.

Ruby
Your foot is ready to be shot in roughly five minutes, but you just can’t find anywhere to shoot it.

PHP
You shoot yourself in the foot with a gun made with pieces from 300 other guns.

ASP.NET
Find a gun, it falls apart. Put it back together, it falls apart again. You try using the .GUN Framework, it falls apart. You stab yourself in the foot instead.

SQL
SELECT @ammo:=bullet FROM gun WHERE trigger = ‘PULLED’;
INSERT INTO leg (foot) VALUES (@ammo);

Perl
You shoot yourself in the foot, but nobody can understand how you did it. Six months later, neither can you.

Javascript
You’ve perfected a robust, rich user experience for shooting yourself in the foot. You then find that bullets are disabled on your gun.

CSS
You shoot your right foot with one hand, then switch hands to shoot your left foot but you realize that the gun has turned into a banana.

FORTRAN
You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no exception-handling ability.

Modula2
After realizing that you can’t actually accomplish anything in this language, you shoot yourself in the head.

COBOL
Using a COLT 45 HANDGUN, AIM gun at LEG.FOOT, THEN place ARM.HAND.FINGER. on HANDGUN.TRIGGER and SQUEEZE. THEN return HANDGUN to HOLSTER. CHECK whether shoelace needs to be retied.

LISP
You shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds the gun with which
you shoot yourself in the appendage which holds ….

BASIC
Shoot yourself in the foot with a water pistol. On big systems, continue until entire lower body is waterlogged.

FORTH
Foot in yourself shoot.

APL
You shoot yourself in the foot, then spend all day figuring out how to do it in fewer characters.

Pascal
The compiler won’t let you shoot yourself in the foot.

SNOBOL
If you succeed, shoot yourself in the left foot.
If you fail, shoot yourself in the right foot.

Concurrent Euclid
You shoot yourself in somebody else’s foot.

HyperTalk
Put the first bullet of the gun into the foot of the left leg of you.
Answer the result.

Motif
You spend days writing a UIL description of your foot, the trajectory, the bullet, and the intricate scrollwork on the ivory handles of the gun. When you finally get around to pulling the trigger, the gun jams.

In case you haven't realized by now, I'm a programer. Well, ah, kinda programer- uh, I can make a calculator.

That doesn't loop.

I'm still learning OKAY?!?

My friend that got me to write and my other friend whom also helped me start up:

'Coriana', the friend who bugged the heck out of me.

And 'RaisedOnRadio', the other friend.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Foolhardy Farron by BrokenRepublic reviews
Lightning finally confronts the inner demon that's been eating away at her soul for too long.
Final Fantasy XIII - Rated: T - English - Family - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,921 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 11 - Published: 11/27/2011 - Lightning - Complete
I'm Jus' Cuddlin' Him by Zodiac Sefirosu reviews
Never give Genesis access to substances in the labs. EVER. Rated T for alcohol reference.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,265 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 2 - Published: 4/8/2011 - Angeal H., Sephiroth - Complete
Boredom by OhJay reviews
Zack's suffering from extreme boredom and comes up with a list of 350 things he can do...This can only mean trouble for everyone else. Crack, NO YAOI! Implied ZackxAerith and CloudxTifa.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 35 - Words: 18,108 - Reviews: 217 - Favs: 156 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 3/15/2011 - Published: 12/9/2010 - Zack F. - Complete
50 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do: By Reno by Luddles reviews
Reno lit Tseng's office on fire, so Tseng decided to have him write a list of 50 things he isn't allowed to do as punishment. Just... randomness. Complete and utter randomness mostly written while I was bored at school. Some TsengxElena
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 808 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/31/2011 - Reno - Complete
The Best Kept Secret In Central City by Pandora Culpa reviews
It's January, and Central City is freezing. The Military Headquarters has lost its heating, and Colonel Mustang is hiding something from his subordinates.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,201 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 116 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/16/2009 - Complete
Those Lacking Spines by Organization VI reviews
Immune to a suspicious parasite by merit of their manly looks, Xaldin, Vexen and Lexaeus set out on a journey to save the rest of Organization XIII from the biggest nightmare of all: stupid fanfiction.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 13 - Words: 111,474 - Reviews: 1836 - Favs: 2,099 - Follows: 595 - Updated: 9/18/2008 - Published: 4/20/2006 - Xaldin, Vexen - Complete
Day Off by Jason Tandro reviews
Reno, Rude, and Elena are Turks, dark agents of Shinra who do all of their dirty work. But today is different. Today is their day off. And come AVALANCHE, Don Corneo or their own boss, nothing will stop this group from enjoying their day in Wutai.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,442 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 1 - Published: 7/4/2007 - Elena, Reno - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

We Thought It Was A Wonderful Day reviews
It came faster then you could say: 'It looks like rain.' A simple trip to a mining town quickly became a simple nightmare.
Xenoblade Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,569 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 6/17/2012 - Published: 6/8/2012 - Dunban, Shulk - Complete
Collection of Random Prompts reviews
Short oneshots for Crystal Chronicles. Prompt: Suspicious Noise. Being bored, Rolf Wood listens in on his fellow caravan members. Which results in him thinking he's a dead man. / Prompt from The Myrrh Tree forum.
Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,749 - Reviews: 4 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 5/5/2012 - Published: 4/25/2012 - Rolf Wood
Creepy Little Doll reviews
Reim had finally decided to ask the question he had wanted to ask for a long time. But what he should have known was that Break wouldn't have given him a straight answer. Oneshot.
Pandora Hearts - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 465 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/16/2012 - Reim L., Xerxes B. - Complete
New Divide reviews
Lost in a forest - Reno's fault - the letter wasn't delivered - Reno's fault - and Elena's angry - Reno's fault. / An ABC prompts list. 05: E is for Echo.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 3,659 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 3/8/2012 - Published: 1/19/2012 - Reno, Elena
Enhancement
Mako enhancements can be helpful in battle, but when does it just become aggravating for everyone?
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,504 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/16/2012 - Reno, Tifa L. - Complete
Yasu's 'What Mai is Not Allowed to Do' List reviews
Yasu decides to write a list of all the things that Mai can't do. Much to Mai's dismay.
Ghost Hunt - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,041 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 1/11/2012 - Published: 8/24/2011 - Mai T., O. Yasuhara
Reno's Days reviews
Someone has decided to have revenge against Reno. Revenge which involves purple nail polish. / This is a collection of prompts mostly about Reno. This story used to be titled 'Reno's Grandmother and Other Prompts'.
Final Fantasy VII - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 2,808 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 8/17/2011 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Reno