Poll: Who do you want Ash's final opponent in Return of Brothers to be? Vote Now!
Author has written 10 stories for Pokémon, Mario, Legend of Zelda, Breaking Bad, and Seinfeld.
Correction: Author has written 9 stories.
Hoisting up the John B. Sails and giving honest critiques so help us all since 2012. No cash needed.
Greetings and welcome to my temple. I am Mach the Cynic, part time writer and constructive critic. I enjoy playing video games and watching anime.
Avatar: That was made via the AA Shields Generator.
Racism is wrong, no matter the circumstance. If you believe racism is wrong no matter what, copy and paste this in your profile.
Likes: family, friends, eating, sleeping, video games, anime, sudoku, reading, basketball, 80s music (especially metal; it gets my adrenaline rushing), Tampa Bay Bucs, Detroit Lions
Dislikes: racism, incest, drugs, alcohol, rapists, child abusers, pedophiles, homophobia, the government, plagiarism, spam, politicians, the media, Trump, Hillary, and the Jonas Brothers
Occupation: aerospace/mechanical engineer (GO GATORS! GO AZTECS!)
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
Rising crime-rate: Older people complain about the loss of morality in society today... Heres the thing, back when these people were young, half the crimes committed weren't even crimes to begin with! We haven't lost morality! there are just more laws to break!
A message for those who discontinue fics: You started it. You finish it. If you have to put it on hiatus indefinitely because you're time-poor, then that's fine. Just finish it, even if it takes you 20 years. Please don't leave us hanging.
I don't support Eliminator or what they do, and I'm not responsible for your favorite fic or author quitting or losing their story. I'd tell you this myself, and I'd gladly laugh at them with you, but you haven't left a name, so that kills that. But it's really sad to see you hate me for the wrong reasons. If, however, you want to flame me and hate me for my writing/personality/religion/race/favorite stories/other absurd reasons/just because, go ahead, if that will make you happy. Be honest though.
I don't flame stories no matter how poorly written they are. Instead, I provide constructive criticism and advice. If I critique your story harshly (which I occasionally do), take it as a sign that your story has great potential, not as a flame. I won't say "update please" or "great story" like I did in the past.
"I much prefer the sharpest criticism of a single intelligent man to the thoughtless approval of the masses." - Johannes Kepler
I feel the same way as Kepler does, and you should too. I won't sugarcoat or go easy on you; I will tell it like it is. If your story has flaws, I will accentuate said flaws. Harsh critiques indicate that I am a fan of your story and that I am willing to help you improve. I have nothing against you and I mean no harm; heck, I may be cynical, but I want you to succeed. Good is not enough. I want you to be great.
I'm by and large opposed to reporting violations to the guidelines given most violations are minor and that I don't always agree with the rules (though I do respect them). For the record, I was one of the most vocal opponents of the May 2012 purge.
That said, I draw the line at the following infractions and poor manners.
Spam: This site is for stories, not to sell products. Please upload your spam somewhere else, and don't forget to serve eggs with it. I won't report you, but someone else will. ;3
Racist/sexist slurs: Whether you flame me or not, don't use racist/sexist slurs please. Thank you very much.
Posting personal information: As the site guidelines say, privacy is limited.
Rape: I won't flame or report you, but I will kindly suggest that you make all sex consensual.
Smut involving underage characters: Really? That's against federal law! If your fic involves smut, the characters should at least be 18.
Arrogance: "My story is the greatest since sliced bread! U noobs are just jealous of my talent. Leet Swag!" Kindly remove the 7-foot pole from your rear before you scare us all off.
Flamers who attack the user instead of the story: There's a fine line between a flamer and an internet tough guy. If you feel the need to insult someone do it in person. Brace yourself for repercussions though. I got a black eye once for telling someone like it is. I'll send you a picture for proof.
Blatant Plagiarism: The key word is blatant. This is something that you just should NOT do. Say what you want about offenders who use real people or post author's notes as chapters, but they are choir children compared to plagiarists. If you are going to borrow work from someone else, credit that person AND ask for permission at all costs! No exceptions! If you don't credit the authors you borrowed from, you crossed the moral event horizon in my eyes. If you committed plagiarism on accident and it was truly an honest mistake, then do the right thing and come clean. If you come clean, you'll earn my respect. For the record, I will NOT report stories unless they involve blatant plagiarism or excessive and blatant copyright infringement in which sources are not cited.
White Knights who defend flagrant plagiarists: Why do people have to defend theft?
Identity Theft: Those who attempt to besmirch someone else's reputation will be flamed and reported to the IC3, never mind the admins.
Excuses and Questions Conjured By Plagiarists:
1. You don't have any stories!
Me: Nice try. I have 10 stories, and I wrote 9 of them myself. I received written permission from MegaloRex to continue his story and gave him credit. My blood, sweat, and tears went into them all to varied extents. You may have more stories than me, but you didn't write any of them.
2. This is a free country! I can write anything I want!
Me: Go ahead and write anything you want, as long as you either write what you want on your own or cite borrowed work. Plagiarism is not writing what you want. It's stealing.
3. You have no right to judge me!
Me: Oh really? You have a point in the sense that I don't have the right to judge you, but how about you look in the mirror. You're judging me to be a gullible fool when you steal work from others and claim it as your own. Ergo, I'll judge you back for judging me, rights be damned.
4. Plagiarism is fan fiction!
Me: On the contrary, there is a fine line between plagiarism and fanfics. Fanfics are original spin-offs of canon by fans. Plagiarism is theft. Don't give me the different characters excuse. Switching characters does not make it unique.
5. You are wrong! You have no proof!
Me: If I am wrong, then I apologize. Having said that, I always have proof if I am right.
6. Plagiarism isn't against the rules!
FYI, it is very much against the terms of service. Have you read the copyright policy? Besides, plagiarism goes beyond violating site guidelines. Plagiarism violates literary integrity and just about any common code of ethics that a person observes. In other words, plagiarism is beyond pathetic.
7. Screw the guidelines!
I dislike many of the guidelines as much as you do, so we're in the same boat. However, I draw the line at plagiarism because it violates personal and literary integrity, never mind the guidelines. You have to draw the line somewhere right?
8. Everyone else borrows text and plots from one another, so why can't I?
Me: Borrowing text and plots from other authors is acceptable as long as you ask permission and credit the original authors. If (a big IF) you have a sense of decency and do at lease one of those, then I will let your actions slide. If you want to borrow song lyrics, then you better write a letter to the lyricist(s) and hope you get permission. I don't consider borrowing to be plagiarism as long as (1) you credit the original authors and (2) you make the effort to ask for permission. I'm actually quite lenient. It takes a lot to anger me. A lot.
9. I'm sorry! I forgot it belonged to someone else!
Me: Don't apologize to me. Apologize to the author you stole from. In addition, don't give me the lame excuse that you forgot. You had plenty of time to ask permission and credit the original author(s) before you got caught.
10. I couldn't help myself! I wanted attention!
Me: If you want attention, then be original and write your own story. People will appreciate you more that way. You never know, I could end up being your biggest fan if you write an original story.
11. I'm just figuring out how to post stories!
Me: You can do so by writing a trollfic instead. I'll even let spam, one-word entries, and gibberish slide as long as you don't cross the line of theft. Anything but flagrant plagiarism!
12. I didn't steal jack squat! (Insert original author) stole my work!
Me: Don't BS a BSer. Why is your date of upload later than the original author's publishing date of upload? Hmm? If you can find a way to prove me and the site wrong I'll change my mind. Until then, grow up and stop f*ing lying.
13. It's only a joke!
Me: Plagiarism is not a prank, joke, or thrill. It's a crime. It'll get you thrown out of college. In some places you can be sued and even jailed.
14. You have no life!
Me: Your words aren't sticks and stones, so they can't break my bones. If insulting me makes you happy, then by all means keep at it.
15. Who cares? What are you going to do about it?
Me: Simple. I'll give you 2 days to take your copy down before I report you for plagiarism. :3
16. You're such a tattle-tale! Why don't you shut up and go join Critics United? You'll fit in just fine!
Me: I don't report every violation out there like CU does. I only report flagrant plagiarists, key word being flagrant. Comparing me with CU members is like comparing chocolate and onions. We don't mix. Besides, I don't report plagiarists right away. First I threaten to report, and then I give the plagiarist two days to take copy-pastas down voluntarily. I will report plagiarists for other violations though. :3
17. Why 2 days? You're quite patient for someone who takes your stand.
Me: I believe that even plagiarists deserve second chances at redemption, and the two-day window is a second chance that I am giving you. Please make that chance count and remove the stolen fic.
18. Isn't this site about unleashing you imagination?
Me: By plagiarizing stories, you are pilfering someone else's imagination. It takes zero imagination to plagiarize, so DON'T use the motto to defend theft.
19. It's only a parody!
Me: Parodies are NOT directly copied from the original script or story. Watch Spaceballs if you want a clear-cut definition of a parody. If you need to borrow copyrighted material, ask for permission.
20. The original story is on another site! I'm just sharing it with other readers!
Me: You could always post a link to the original story. If you feel the need to upload the original story word-for-word, then you better get the original author's consent and post a disclaimer crediting the original author. Otherwise, it's still theft buster.
21. The site admins don't give a d*n about plagiarism.
Me: I'll give you a list of 500 plus users that have been banned from the site for plagiarism. Nice try sucker.
22. It's a troll-fic that I found. I'm just posting it for the lulz!
Me: Write your OWN trollfic. You'll get more lulz out of it.
Announcement regarding TAPIR: I am NOT a member of TAPIR. Please disregard any claim of membership. Any actions that I commit are of my own accord and do not represent the actions of any forum whatsoever.
Update regarding MegaloRex's Return of Brothers: Chapter 15 is a work-in-progress. I have not given upon on "Return of Brothers" and I will finish what MegaloRex started. I've just been very busy with research projects, so I don't have the time to spend an entire day focusing on writing. Please be patient. Thank you.
If you received a guest review from me prior to June 24 2015, then disregard and delete that review. Chances are that the guest is an impostor.
If you have questions and/or your stories have been stolen, feel free to PM me. I'm all ears. I won't block anyone unless they send a death/rape threat.