Author has written 4 stories for Harry Potter, Code Lyoko, Dragon Ball Z, Misc. Anime/Manga, Manhwa/Korean Comics/만화, Naruto, and Dungeons and Dragons.
Name: As far as you know, it's Shadow Korosu.
Age: 22 (Or is it?)
Species: Angelic Demon (Or was it Demonic Angel?)
Likes: Movies, music, food, reading, writing, chess, checkers, video games, RP, animals, Naruto, Bleach, Death Note, Dragon Ball Z, Code Geass, Cartoon Network, Adult Swim, Disney, Nickelodeon.
Dislikes: Murderers, rapists, morons/unbelievably stupid people, people who absolutely refuse to be wrong, people who think others are below them, people who think it's okay to call someone a freak, creep, or weirdo, just because they're different, people who think that just because they're older, or an adult, it means they can ignore or disrespect someone younger, or their opinions and ideas, people who think that you can try to control love, or that differences such as age, appearance, gender, or religion means you can't love someone, and people who always tell others to act their age.
Hobbies: Reading, writing, watching movies, listening to music, playing video games, RP, playing with my cats or my dog, arguing to the death about anything and everything.
Dream: To have a family of my own, to love and protect.
Strengths: Can vary between mature and immature as needed, very creative, intelligent, loyal, honest, a good listener, works hard to learn and do new things, modest, open minded, not afraid to stand up for what I believe in.
Weaknesses: Low opinion of myself, can be slightly hypocritical at times, sometimes brash, somewhat closed off emotionally, can be evasive to certain questions or topics.
I'm Sorry aka Girls don't realize these things
But most of all
Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" Because the person you are usually searching for is right by you.
If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry'
If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things'.
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile.
A few annoying stereotypes: Bold the ones that apply to you.
B.O.H.I.C.A. : Bend Over Here It Comes Again
F.U.B.A.R. : F#cked up beyond all recognition
H.U.M.A.S. : Head Up My @ss Syndrom
S.N.A.F.U. : Situation Normal All F*cked Up
A.D.O.S.D. : Attention Deficit Oh Shiny Disorder
F.O.C.U.S. : F*ck Off Cuz Ur Stupid - T-shirt
D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F. : Do I Look Like I Give A F*ck! - Necros Chris
Interesting and insane laws:
Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a 500 dollar fine.
It is illegal for horses to eat fire hydrants.
It is illegal to allow a dog to be in a public place without its master on a leash.
It is illegal to allow a pet cat to run loose without a taillight.
It is illegal to carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle on city streets unless a man with a lantern is walking ahead of it.
It is illegal to eat in a place that is on fire.
It is illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle. (What if it's moving?)
It is illegal to purchase an alcoholic beverage after midnight on Sunday, yet one may do so on Monday.
It is illegal to purchase or use Sparklers in the city, yet you can buy fully disassembled automatic machine guns.
It is illegal to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
It is illegal to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
It is illegal to wake a fireman when he is asleep.
And last but not least... the penalty for jumping off a building is death.
Just a few questions in need of an answer:
Why don't they just make mouse-flavoured cat food?
Why do doctors call what they do "practice"?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
What would the speed of lightning be if it didn't zigzag?
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
Why do doctors leave the room when you strip? They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Do cannibals refuse to eat clowns because they taste funny?
If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
If the police arrest a mute, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If the speed of light is 300,000 kilometres per second, what's the speed of dark?
Why do dogs get mad when you blow in their face and then they stick their head out the window in a car?
Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why does round pizza come in a square box?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Why is it that to turn off Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why does the word "lisp" have an "s" in it?
If vegetable oil made from veggies and oil, what is baby oil made of?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
Mousetraps are operated by people, right? Now, isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why does the sun make our hair lighter and our skin darker?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do psychics have to ask your name?
If a fat chicken laid eggs, would it sit on them?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the morning?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, why do people say, "Quit while you're ahead"?
Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
Why do people say "slept like a baby" when babies wake up and cry every two hours?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, then what happens at a workstation?
If sheep coats are made of wool, why don't they shrink when it rains?
Light travels faster than sound - is that why some people appear bright before you hear them speak?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor since you can't drink and drive?
Can you cry underwater?
If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
Why are marbles so called when they’re made out of glass?
How can something be both new and improved?
If the sign says "Keep Off The Grass", how did it get there in the first place?
7 reasons not to mess with kids
Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”
Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”
Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.
Lines that Make You Smile
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; no one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was NOT One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up!
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles must, begin with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. He who dies with the most toys, is nonetheless DEAD.
24. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
25. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
26. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
27. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
28. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
The male equivalent of the 10 Commandments
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you’ve known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy’s fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy’s birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy’s choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who’s playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she’s officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you’re sunning on a tropical beach… and it’s delivered by a topless model and only when it’s free.
12: Only in situations of mortal and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you’re in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don’t let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man’s fly is down, that’s his problem, you didn’t see anything.
16: Women who claim they “love to watch sports” must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that’s just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you’d better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she’s withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights: a) Yeah, Baby, Push it! b) C’mon, give me one more! Harder! c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly “just a friend” have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you’re feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question “What do you want for Christmas?” with “If you loved me, you’d know what I want!” gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men’s Gymnastics. Ever.
We’ve all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
“GUTS” is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, “are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?”
“BALLS” is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, “You’re next!”
We hope this clears up any confusion,
The International Council of Manhood, Ltd.
Friends or best friends
FRIENDS: Never ask anything to eat or drink
FREINDS: Call your parents Mr. Mrs. and grandma and grandpa
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail
FRIENDS: Never seen you cry
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down you number
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff and gives it back a few days later
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you
FRIENDS: Wonders about your romantic history.
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what everyone else is doing
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when your love rejects you.
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when your love breaks up with you.
FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
FRIENDS: Convinces you not to jump off the cliff.
FRIENDS: Are through high school/college
FRIENDS: Will ignore this
My name is awesome according to this.
The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I go out with you", and take into account the fact that I went out with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct . . . leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
Anime jokes and stuffs:
Your '...' jokes: naruto style
Your '...' is so ugly, not even Naruto can believe it!
Don't do this: Naruto style
Don't tell Sasuke that Chicken Little wants his ass back.
Don't ask Kakashi to perform Lightning Blade while standing on a power line
Don't tell Tenten that Neji cut his hair
Do not put carnivorous plants around the Aburame household
Don't call the dog catcher on Akamaru
Don't try and give Kiba a flea bath
Don't tell Sakura to rent her forehead out as a billboard advertising space
Don't give Gai a cape and cowl
Don't ask Orochimaru to do the moonwalk
Do not sprinkle salt on Tsunade's slug
Do not ask Gamakichi or Gamatastu to run across a busy intersection
Do not give Enma barrels to throw
Hip Hop Harry is never to be summoned again
I will not try to deepfry Tonton
Jiraiya's alter-ego is not Master Roshi
Ebisu is not Jiraiya's secret pervy apprentice
I will not burn trees and blame it on Sasuke
I will not compare the Lightning Blade to a certain yellow mouse
I will not throw water balloons at Gaara
I will not replace Karasu's poison bombs with stink bombs
I will not paint Choji red and ask him to run around yelling "Oh Yeah!"
I will not ask Kisame to eat Sharkfin Soup
I will not summon Gamakichi to rid my home of flies
I will not pluck Lee's eyebrows and give them to Gaara
I will not call Gaara a momma's boy
I will not ask Tenten for swordchucks
I will not tape a "Kick Me" sign to Neji's blindspot
Never call anyone in the Hyuga Clan Mr. or Mrs. H
Do not give Gai a cape
Do not give Lee a Flash costume
Do not dump water on Konan
Do not ask Kurenai if she drinks Asuma's blood
It is unwise to ask Anko to tie you up.
Do not call Tsunade the Wicked Witch of Konoha
Similarly, do not call Shizune or Sakura Dorothy
Do not ask Shizune for acupuncture
Do not yell Clone Dogpile around Kiba
Do not read Jiraiya's books, lest you lose your innocence
Do not spoil said books' ending to Kakashi Hatake
Do not call the Third Hokage a dirty old man
Do not use Rasengan to stir food
Do not use Chidori to jumpstart a machine
Never try and ask Shino what's under his glasses
Similarly, never ask Kakashi what is under his mask
Do not hang flypaper or bug zappers around the Aburame Manor
Do not use Fire Style Jutsu in place of fireworks.
For my sake and yours, do not ever call Tsunade an old woman
Kakashi cannot summon Snoopy, so stop asking
Similarly, Kakashi cannot summon Scooby or Scrappy Doo.
Jiraiya cannot summon a being known as Frogger
Orochimaru is not to be referred to as Michael Jackson, even if he does like little boys
Similarly, do not call Tsunade Big Momma
Kisame Hoshigaki is not to be called a failed movie experiment
It is unwise to yell "fire in the hole" when Deidara is present
Just because Naruto Uzumaki has done most of these things doesn't mean you should too.
You KNOW you're obsessed with Naruto when:
1! You make a leaf village head protector!
2! You actually take the time to learn the jutsu hand motions!
3! Every time you put your glasses on you whisper 'Sharingan!'!
4! You are a girl and dye your hair pink to get the 'Natrually Sakura' look!
5! You want people to refer to you as 'The 6th hokage'
6! You keep butter knives in your pocket and call them kunais!
7! You drew the Uchiha clan symbol on the back of your new jean jacket!
8! You name your dog Akumaru!
9! You throw sand at people while etching the symbol for 'Love' in Japanese on the side of your forehead! (Don't forget the eyeliner!!)
10! You ask the chicken you ate last night to lend you some chakra!
11! You let a rabid snake bite you, hoping to get the seal
12! Dye your hair blonde and try to walk up a tree.
13! Live by a strict diet of only ramen.
14! Call your semester examine a chuunin exam.
15! Trade in your favorite hat for a forehead protector.
16! Roll your eyes back in your head and shout "byakugan".
17! Copy every thing a person does and claim it's your bloodline.
18! Stay up all night waiting for the release of the next manga chapter.
19! Start adding the words chan and kun on the end of your friends names.
20! Paste a piece of paper that says "come come paradise" on the front of adult books.
21! Jump off a cliff and attempt to use Kuchiyose No Jutsu to summon the toad king.
22! Keep all your money in a frog shaped wallet.
23! Memorize the 64 points of Ninpou.
24! Stick your hand in a electric box and scream "chidori" as you pass out.
25! Join a website and use the name Neji as your s/n.
26! Start to call your teachers Sennin.
27! Claim your going to kill your best friend so you can have a better Sharigan.
28! Sit in your local book store and read the manga all day.
29! When someone ask you who your dream girl is and you say Ino.
30! Agree to stay up and write this list so you can be added to the staff of Naruto Central.
31! Spend your week searching down Naruto sites.
32! Refuse a date because your saving yourself for Sakura.
33! Graduate high school and proclaim yourself as an Anbu.
34! Cry at the flash back scenes of Sasuke's family.
35! Try to hit Itachi through the screen when he tortures Sasuke.
36! Put a picture of Hinata in your wallet and tell your friends it's your girlfriend.
37! List Anbu as current occupation on a job application.
38! Can spout out a random character quote on command.
39! Draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a whole in a wall with it.
40! Sneak around and try to beat your grandfather.
41! Wake up in the middle of the night and scream "Itachi why?!".
42! Eat all day and all night, and then try to roll into a ball and run someone down.
43! Get bit by a snake and decide stabbing the wound is a good idea.
44! Read manga 24 hours nonstop just so you can read more.
45! Decide that if you can't hit a tree 1500 times then you'll jump rope 1500.
46! Decide to call your moral code your "ninja way".
Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is.
Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’.
Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever.
Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while.
Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her.
Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’.
Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy.
Draco Malfoy … disagrees.
Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand.
Ron Weasley … is very afraid.
Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much.
Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat.
Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out.
George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry.
Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter.
James Potter … doesn’t believe her.
Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’.
Sirius Black … killed by drapery.
Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences.
Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane.
Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush.
Lucius Malfoy … does not like to be referred to as ‘Luscious Mouthful’.
Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence.
Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff.
Slytherins … will push someone else off.
Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase.
Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet.
Great 'Draco Malfoy' jokes.
First time at Hogwarts.
By Szordara "Harry Potter and the Harem of Honeys".
"Who are you?" blondie finally asked. He had restrained his curiousity until they were exiting onto the docks. "What's your family name?" Man, this kid was like a parody of a stereotypical snob!
"Someone who doesn't care to respond to rude little albino arseholes like yourself," countered Harry, not bothering to look at blondie when he replied.
"How dare you! Do you have any idea who my father is?" raged blondie.
"The only arsehole bigger than you?" Most of the children around them easily heard that response, and laughed at blondie's flushed expression. Deciding to push the envelope a bit, Harry adopted a tone of false concern. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry! Were you seriously trying to find out who your father actually is? Have you been searching for years for the stupid git who sired you into this world? I hadn't realized you were literally a bastard." The others could barely keep the grins off their faces.
"I know who my father is!" shrieked the boy. "His name is Lucius Malfoy!" The other students sniggered with mirth. Blondie had throbbing veins on his forehead.
"Then why the bloody hell are you asking me who he is?" scoffed Harry. "Wait a sec... are you a bit slow in the head? Is that why Tweedledee and Tweedledum here are escorting you everywhere? Did your father pay them to help keep an eye on you?" Most of the first years were now laughing so hard they were in tears.
"I am not slow in the head!" Blondie's voice became shriller and shriller as he got worked up.
"You yell like a girl, blondie," he stated quietly. "Oh! Now I see where this is going... Sorry, but I don't go that way. I like girls."
Blondie's head was seconds away from exploding. "I'M NOT GAY!"
"Come now, denial isn't good for anybody. There's no shame in being gay, blondie. It's all cool. I don't swing that way myself, but I'm sure someday you will find your perfect guy. Just hang in there." The pseudo-bodyguards began to slowly back away from the furious albino, while the onlookers continued to laugh so hard several fell over.
"I'M NOT GAY! YOU HEAR ME? I'M NOT!"
"Like any straight guy spends that much time on his hair and clothes!" smirked Harry. "Well, maybe for a hot date, but you've been with the twins there ever since I first saw you. Do you like the big, strapping lads? Face it, the writing's on the wall, blondie. Hide in the closet all you want, but sooner or later you'll have to come out and face yourself."
"I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL, YOU STUPID BLOODY GIT!"
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." -Albert Einstein
"Power corrupts, absolute power corupts absolutely." -George Orwell
'When life gives you lemons, make apple juice and laugh as everyone tries to figure out why the hell you did it' - Allyn Night
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz ( so true!)
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former." -Albert Einstein
"A day without laughter is a day wasted." - Charlie Chaplin
Love is friendship on fire.
“Don’t follow in my footsteps I tend to walk into walls”
“Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.”
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up.
“Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.”
“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.”
“The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.”
“Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.”
“It takes 42 muscles to frown at the person who is annoying you but only 4 to reach out and bitch slap them”
If Tylenol, duct tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.
My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum.
One day your prince will come. mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.
The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.
When I'm stressed, I laugh. When I'm happy, I laugh. When I'm nervous, I laugh. If I find something funny, I can't stop laughing.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Words to live by
Sic vis pacem, para bellum.-
If you want peace, prepare for war
We will never forgive
A story using Gamer powers based on the VtM system, essentially turning the main character into a Vampire with Disciplines and the choice of which clan they want to belong to.
https : // i . pinimg . com / originals / 5a / ef / d5 / 5aefd5db0ed61b5e8e45f5dbe9556c90 . jpg
Exact image for Krestin Taladriel.
https : // i0 . wp . com / www . fearreview . com / wp-content / uploads / 2018 / 09 / Dragon-Prince-Claudia-Official-min . png?resize=150&ssl=1
The image for Talula Mullosk isn't perfect, but it's the closest I could find for what I want.