Thoughts on Gay Marriage:
1.) Gay marriage is not natural, and as Americans, we always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and lyposuction.
2.) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3.) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their own pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4.) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5.) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6.) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7.) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
8.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we only have one religion in America.
9.) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10.) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...
If you can read this message, you are blessed, because more than 2 billion people in the world cannot read at all:
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!
Your result for The Sorting Hat Test...
Or perhaps in Slytherin
Slytherins are known for their ambition, guile, and Machiavellian sensiblities.
"Do you know like I was sayin' about the Earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid. The first time they tell you that the Earth's turnin' and you just can't quite believe it cause everythin' looks like it's standin' still. I can feel it. The turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinnin' at 1,000 miles an hour, and the entire planet is hurtlin' 'round the Sun at 67,000 miles an hour and I can feel it. We're fallin' through space, you and me, clingin to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go..." - Dr. Who (#9 - Christopher Eccleston)
"You lot. You spend all your time thinking about dying, like you're going to get killed by eggs, or beef, or global warming, or asteroids. But you never take time to imagine the impossible: that maybe you survive." - Dr. Who (#9 - Christopher Eccleston)
Sookie: He's your maker isn't he?
"You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You... Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One..." - Spike (BtVS season 7 - James Marsters)
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." - Ezekiel 25:17. (Church of Lazlo Intro on 96.5 The Buzz)
"Define 'irony'. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash." - Con Air
"We're on a mission from GOD" - The Blues Brothers
"'Scuse me. Who ordered the hamburger... with AIDS? In this restaurant, a hamburger deluxe comes with french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and AIDS! Do anyone got a problem wit dat? Aw baby, it's too late for that. Faggots been breeding your cows, raisin' your chickens, even brewin' your beer long before I walked my sexy ass up in this mother fucker. Everything on your God damn table got aids. Well all you gots to do is say hold the aids here. Eat it! Bitch, you come into my house ,you gonna eat the food THE WAY I FUCKIN' MAKE IT! Do you understand me? Tip your waitress." - Lafayette (True Blood)
"I shoulda known somethin' wasn't right. The second you walked into my life carrying that big bag of crazy. 'Cause any woman with a purse that big is bound ta have somethin' I don't wanna know about." - Jason (True Blood)
"If guns cause crime, do matches cause arson?" - unknown
"It is easy to destroy and so much harder to create. The earth has been dealt so many devastating blows, but every time she rises from the ashes in an outright refusal to die." - I read this in an fic, don't know if it is an actual quote from somewhere or just clever writing on the authors part, don't remember what fic.