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Joined 05-04-11, id: 2896190, Profile Updated: 03-03-12
Author has written 2 stories for House of Night, and Kick-Ass.

Basic Crap About Me


gray/blue/(unknown) eyed (they love to change colors on me when i want them to blue gr..)

currently 5'9 (but still growing UGH!! so tall...)

i'm very muchly so a bookworm

treehugger XD

fAVORITE sONGS (of right now)

Make A Move- Royal Tailor

Until the Whole World Hears- Casting Crowns

Like A Lion- David Crowder Band

Light Up the Sky- The Afters

My Life Be Like Ooh Ahh- Grits

Kiss the Rain- Yiruma

River Flows In You- Yiruma

Moonlight- Yiruma

Maybe- Yiruma

Her Name Is Alice - Shinedown

We Are Young- 3oh!3

Milkshake- Goodnight Nurse

Stronger- Kanye West (i like the daft punk version to but i heard this one first so..)

Tragedy- Celldweller


Monster- Skillet

Awake and Alive- Skillet

Bottoms Up- Trey Songz ft Nicki Minaj

E.T. -Katy Perry ft Kanye West

I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry

I Might Be A Pimp- Stephen Barnes

Cinderella Man - Eminem

Not Afraid- Eminem

She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5

Secrets- One Republic

Alice- Avril Lavinge

Girlfriend- Avril Lavinge

Complicated- Avril Lavgne

Labyrinth- Oomph! (this really kewl song by a German band)

Toxic (hard rock version) - i have no idea h=who dis is by ...

Boulevard of Broken Dreams- GreenDay

American Idiot- Green Day

Holiday- Green Day

My Heart- Paramore

Monster- Paramore

Earthquake- Family Force Five

i love all these bands and more but these are the only songs that i can remember right now..

i probably forgot some..

random song throws a tv at me for forgetting themm..*

you no all those little 'warnings' that people put on their profiles/stuff that say if you dont do such and such this will happen?

i hav a admission

i recopy those

just in case it should happen

so here goes nothing



About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you.

And yes They hurt her

Hears crickets) "OMG, IT'S GREG'S DESCENDANTS!" - Teiaramogami ((i came up with Greg! and Tina and Todd and .._

Friend: Waaaah! (Fake crying)

Teacher: What's wrong with him?

Other friend: Oh, he's crying cause I hit his arm.

Teacher: Hit him again, maybe he'll cry more (we love yew Mr. Stanton!!)

Teacher... blah blah blah about the ocean blah

Girl: OH MY GOD!!

Us: wah??

Girl: when we go swimming is there whale sperm in the water??

Teacher: um yea...

Girl: i'm never going swimming again!

Teacher: well if ya wanna think about it like that then pollen is tree sperm

Us: ummm...?

HEY!! CHECK OUT MY BUDDY teiaramogami 's stories

(i'm the rose girl in the story WaitWhut? and my other names in her stories are usually nature related..

i've been thinkin about takin down my story .. dont like the way it is now .. what ya'll think?

Obessions Of The Moment

Nerdy Glasses

(i no they are usually a guy acessory but they ARE SO COOL!!)

The Glee Project



Cameron from TGP



Eli off of Degrassi

(i just wanna hug him!!)

anthony off sweeneytodd

the awesomely cute eyeliner guy off of burlesque

o turtles have teeth?

Are there toliets in heaven?

Is it morally irresponsible to make chickens go cannibal?

KIND of a random person

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

If a book about failures doesn't sell is it a success?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Is it true cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If the number 2 pencil is the most popular, then why is it still number 2?

If a man washes a dish and there's no women around to see it, did it happen?

If you choke a Smurf what color will it turn?

If a man speaks in the forest with no woman around to hear him is he still wrong?

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

If we’re not supposed to eat late-night snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?

Hi!! \

my name is Suzie (hint i am NOT a stripper)

Draco x Harry

Draco x Hermione

Draco x umm.. Himself

drools over blondie*

Teen Titanz





(hehe still love u tho rob its just fun to torture yew XD)

pokes him with a long stick*



"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have." Hermione Granger

"The fates have informed me that your examination in June will concern the Orb, and I am anxious to give you sufficient practice.
Hermione snorted.
"Well honestly... 'the fates have informed her'... Who sets the exam? She does!" Hermione Granger

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed." Hermione Granger

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
1st Weasley Twin: Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea.
2nd Weasley Twin: Hang on, I think I remember him saying something about it. Once --
1st Weasley Twin: Or twice --
2nd Weasley Twin: A minute --
1st Weasley Twin: All summer --
Percy: Oh, shut up!Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Dumbledore: I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I have rather lost my liking for them. But, I think I could be safe with a nice toffee. (eats it)
Dumbledore: ...Hmm, alas, earwax.Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
(in the Devil's Snare)
Hermione: Stop moving, both of you. This is devil's snare! You have to relax. If you don't, it'll only kill you faster!
Ron: Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
Harry: So light a fire!
Hermione: Yes... of course... but there's no wood!
Ron: HAVE YOU GONE MAD! ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Ron: Why spiders? Why couldn't it be "follow the butterflies"?

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Ron: Can you believe our luck? Of all the trees we could've hit, he had to get one that hits back.Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Draco: Sure you can manage that broom, Potter?
Harry: Yeah, reckon so
Draco: Got plenty of special features, hasn't it? Shame it doesn't come with a parachute-in case you get too near a Dementor. (Crabbe and Goyle sniggered)
Harry: Pity you can't attach an extra arm to yours, Malfoy. Then it could catch the Snitch for you.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Ron: Right, you've got a crooked sort of cross… (consulting "Unfogging the Future") That means you're going to have 'trials and suffering' -- sorry about that -- but there's a thing that could be a sun… hang on… that means 'great happiness'… so you're going to suffer but be very happy…
Harry: You need your Inner Eye tested, if you ask me…

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Professor Lupin: Now repeat after me -- without wands please -- repeat after me, Riddikulus.
Class: Riddikulus!
Professor Lupin: And again!
Class: Riddikulus!
Malfoy: This class is ridiculous.Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Hermione: Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats, you know.
Ron: Yeah, along with the dungbeetle.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Professor Trelawney: The study of Divination will give you the rare gift of SIGHT! (stands up, and promptly bumps into her table)

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Professor Trelawney: Would anyone like me to help interpret the shadowy realms within their orb?
Ron (whispering to Harry): I don't need help. It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Fred Weasley: Anyone can speak Troll, All you have to do is point and grunt.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Peeves: We did it, we bashed them, wee Potter's the one, And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Fred: He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Enid Smeek : She's nutty as squirrel poo

Hunger Games

Caesar: “Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what’s her name?”
Peeta: “Well, there is this one girl. I’ve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But I’m pretty sure she didn’t know I was alive until the reaping.”
Caesar: “She have another fellow?”
Peeta: “I don’t know, but a lot of boys like her.”
Caesar: “So, here’s what you do. You win, you go home. She can’t turn you down then, eh?”
Peeta: “I don’t think it’s going to work out. Winning…won’t help in my case”
Caesar: “Why ever not?”
Peeta: “Because…because…she came here with me.”

"Finally, the intercom crackles and Hatmitch's acerbic laugh fills the studio. He contains himself just long enough to say, 'And that, my friends, is how a revolution dies

"He wants as many victors as possible for the cameras to follow in the Capitol. Thinks it makes for better television."

"Are you and Beetee going?" I ask.

"As many young and attractive victors as possible," Haymitch corrects himself. "So, no. We'll be here."

"You have about as much charm as a dead slug."


Vampire Academy

"The Battle cry sort of gave you away. Try not to yell next time." -Dimitri, Vampire Academy

"Hey Mason, wipe the drool off your face. If you're going to think about me naked, do it on your own time." -Rose, Vampire Academy

"I love pity parties. I wish I'd bought the hats." -Christian, Vampire Academy

"My cigarettes and I are going outside. At least they show me respect." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss

"What do you think, little dhampir? I was pretty bada*s with that plant, wasn't I? Of course it would have been more bada*s if I'd, I dunno, helped an amputee grow a limb back. Or maybe separated Siamese twins. But that'll come with more practice." -Adrian

" You know, I bet if we started making out right now, it would make him feel better." -Adrian
"If you touch me, I'll provide you with the oppritunity to see if you can heal your self. Then we'd see how bada*s you really are." -Rose, Shadow Kiss

"And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence is the answer." -Rose, Shadow Kiss

"Aw you'd never hurt me. My face is too pretty." -Adrian, Shadow Kiss

"You did not just say that. I have the feeling were on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other." -Christian
"I already have a nickname for you, but I'll get n trouble if I say it in class." - Rose, Shadow Kiss

"Really good. I think you have a promising future as a house wife while Lissa works and makes millions of dollars."- Rose
"Funny that's exactly my dream." -Christian, Shadow Kiss

"Even I make mistakes. I know it's hard to believe-kind of surprises me myself-but I guess it has to happen. It's probably some kind of karmic way to balance out the universe. Otherwise it wouldn't be fair one person so full of awesomeness." -Rose, Shadow Kiss

"Oh man I didn't know you could kick into crazy mode even in dreams." -Rose, Shadow Kiss

"Are you insane?" Who was I kidding of course he was. -Rose, Shadow Kiss

"I'm not jealous I'm just-" -Christian
"-feeling insecure over the fact that your girlfriend is spending a lot of time with a rich and reasonably cute guy. Or, as we like to call it, jealous." -Rose, Shadow Kiss

No one had ever called me unnatural before, except for the time I put ketchup on a taco.- Rose, Blood Promise

"Oh God," I said. "I'm Zmey's daughter. Zmey Junior. Zmeyette, even." -Rose
"What on Earth are you talking about?" -Janine, Blood Promise

I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. -Rose, Blood Promise

Rose: He's (dimitri) the kind of pretty that makes you stop in the middle of the street and get hit by traffic.

Rose:"And besides, you don't hang out with him 24/7."
Lissa:"Neither will you. It's only 24/6."
Rose:"Same difference. It might as well be 24/10."
Lissa frowns:"That doesn't make any sense."

Rose: "Damn." My word of the night

Oh, I thought. It's on, bitch!

House Of Night

"Actually, since I'm gay I think I should count for two guys instead of just one. I mean, in me you get the male point of view and you don't have to worry about me wanting to touch your boobies."

"Nuns freak me out."

"Zo, I'm not a damn pus*y!'

Erik, looking very tall and full-grown, kick-your-butt vampyre-like, snorted sarcastically and then said, 'No, you're a damn human. Wait, that does make you a pus*y!"

"He's not the brightest crayola in the pack."

"Oh, for crap's sake, I can barely look at it," Aphrodite said, turning her head from the archway and averting her eyes. "And I usually love sparkly things."

"Oh for craps sake. You're not dying again, are you? It's seriously inconvenient when you do that." -Aphrodite"

"Yeah, I got the instructions straight from Seoras. That and a bunch of smart-ass comments about my education being sadly lacking and something about not knowing my arse from my ear or my elbow, and also something about me being a fanny, and I don't know what the hell that means."
"Fanny? Like a girl's name?"
"I don't think so . . ."

"No, Kramisha, he's not black. He's a killer bird with evil for his Daddy."

"Do you think you could manage NOT to kill eachother while I'm gone?"
— Zoey Redbird

"Can you mess with her mind and make her shut up?"
— Zoey Redbird

Teen Titans


I am deeply sorry. Once the agents have been retrieved from the authorities, they will be severely punished.

No need. They were messengers, and my message got across loud and clear.

[then Slade pushes a button that has images of Robin popping up on the TV]


[on the TV] Who is Slade?

Aqualad: Fish tacos? What were you thinking? I'm from the ocean! These were probably friends of mine!
Speedy: You said get lunch and I got lunch. Chow down!

Raven: [after she and Starfire have switched bodies] Starfire! You have to calm down. My powers are driven by emotion. The more you feel, the more energy you unleash.
Starfire: I will try to calm down.
[takes a few deep breaths and closes her eyes]
Starfire: Peace... quiet... tranquil...
[her powers cause a car to flip over and blow sky high]
Raven: We are sooo doomed.

Fang: [to Robin, who's dancing with Kitten under duress] Keep your hands off my girl.
[attacks Robin]
Starfire: [blasts Fang] Keep your legs off my boy!

Brother Blood: [about Bumblebee] Another spy! Tell me, was anyone at my school actually there to LEARN?
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Starfire: [about Slade's invading army of robots] They are too numerous to fight. What shall we do?
Robin: Fight anyway.
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Terra: [to Raven, after an earthquake] Are you gonna give me that look every time there's an earthquake?
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Cyborg: [as the tower is under attack] Somebody wanna explain how 200 armed robots got past my security?
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Cyborg: [trying to convince Raven to come to the birthday party they're throwing for her] We've got a pinata shaped like Beast Boy. You know you wanna smack it.
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Raven: [to BeastBoy] I respect that you don't eat meat... please respect that I don't eat fake meat.

[the Teen Titans arrive back at the Tower. Starfire bursts through the door, gleeful]
Starfire: Come, Friends. I shall thank you all by reciting the Poem of Gratitude. All six thousand verses.
[the Titans look shocked]
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Cyborg: Is there any meat in that tofu?
Beast Boy: No, there's no meat in the tofu, it's TOFU.
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Beast Boy: Wakie, wakie, tofu eggs and bakie.
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Raven: I always thought you were funny, BB. But I guess looks aren't everything.
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Beast Boy: See? SHE thinks I'm funny.
Raven: Statistically, someone has to.
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Starfire: I am happy to see her. But Blackfire rules the videogames and she is able to share very depressing poems AND she knows the cool moves and she always knows when people are NOT talking about shovels.
Robin: ...
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Cyborg: Have you ever seen her this happy?
Beast Boy: Dude, I didn't think Raven could DO happy.
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[the Titans are deciding on pizza toppings]
Cyborg: Come on, how can you deprive me of the all-meat experience?
Beast Boy: Dude, I've BEEN most of those animals.

Slade: Who knows... I could become like a father to you.
Robin: I already have a father.
[Bats fly off and Batman music plays]
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Blackfire: How do I look?
Robin: ...pink.
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Starfire: You guys. I don't know what to do? I've tried every joke, and every bodily noise I can think of and Beast Boy still won't wake up. I'm afraid Beast Boy's brain is lost forever.
Raven: Beast Boy had a brain?
Beast Boy: [laughing] Good one... Hey wait a minute? Dude that's not funny. I totally have a brain. I just don't use it much.
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Starfire: [to Robin, who is on a self-deprecating rant] No more Robin yelling at Robin!
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Cyborg: [infected with a computer virus] I know what we should do! Let's go get some waffles! Raven you like waffles, don't you?
Raven: [deadpan] More than life itself.
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Beast Boy: So, I guess it is bad to watch too much TV.
Starfire: But, we were only victorious because you watches too much the television.
Raven: So, I guess there really is no lesson.
Cyborg: Yep, it was all completely meaningless.
[everyone laughs]
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Robin: [to Cinderblock] Drop it Cinderblock before we drop you.
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Starfire: I will not read your book of meanness and swirls.
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Starfire: ...boogers?
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Cyborg: You're the nasty egg people who stole all my waffles!
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Starfire: Are ALL the schools on your planet this horrible?
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[trying to be funny]
Starfire: How many Oparans does it take to hogey a morflark? FIMBAR.
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Robin: You've got a problem, Tin Man?
Cyborg: YEAH. It's four feet tall and smells like cheap hair gel.

Control Freak: I am the masterof monsters. I am your worst nightmares come to life. I am... Control Freak!
[Makes aplause sound with remote control and tvs]
Raven: A couch-potato with a souped-up remote. I'm petrified.
Control Freak: You will be. You will be.
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[It is dark and Beast Boy has turned into an octopus]
Starfire: Eeek! Someones claws are on my grebnacks.
[Two popping sounds]
Beast Boy: Hehe... my bad
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Raven: I am afraid. But that dosen't mean I can't fight back.
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Kitten: Would it kill you to smile?
Robin: [pained, scary smile] Maybe.
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Kitten: Hi, Robbiepoo!
Starfire: Robin... who is this girl, and why is she calling you "poo"?
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Cyborg: Fuzzy dice? Now that's just tacky!
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Robin: All you care about is destruction!
Slade: And all you care about, you destroy.
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Terra: They actually trust me.
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Mad Mod: Nothing teaches discipline better than a brain-erasing trance.
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Mad Mod: Next lesson, physics! What goes up... STAYS UP!
Robin: Until I take it down!
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Cyborg: I will NOT be havin' attitude from a BOAT!
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Starfire: Hello, Starfire! Hello, tiny wooden replica of Starfire!
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Mumbo: It's only fair to warn you - I have no idea what I'm doing!
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Raven: Don't make me send you to another dimension.
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Robin: You can't hold us here forever!
Spike: Now, don't be a sore loser. Atlas is just better than you, better than all of us!
Starfire: Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!
Beast Boy: Yeah! What she said!
Spike: You watch your tone! Atlas is the greatest. He deserves your respect.

Starfire: You are a klorbag varblernelk!
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Raven: Please tell me this isn't another ridiculous prank.
Beast Boy: Okay, it's not another ridiculous prank. It's a brilliant prank!
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[repeated line]
Cyborg Decoy: Boo-yah!
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[Cyborg is trying to pass as a student at the H.I.V.E]
Cyborg: Mmmm! Sloppy Joes! Just like the mad scientist who created me used to make!
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Raven: Um... I know this isn't my style, but we just kicked Slade's butt. Shouldn't we... celebrate or something?
[Beast-Boy and Cyborg stare]
Beast Boy: Yeah!
Cyborg: All-you-can-eat...
Beast Boy: Free form...
Beast Boy, Cyborg: Breakfast explosion!
Raven: Sorry I asked.

Starfire: Your Atlas is nothing but a Zolworg Tubeck Plixing Zarbmarker!
Beast Boy: Yeah, what she said!
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Robin: What do you say we give him the sonic boom?
Cyborg: I got the sonic if you got the boom!
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Cyborg: And the last slice of pizza goes to...
[spins the slice]
Cyborg: Terra!
Robin: All right, Terra!
Beast Boy: Whoo!
Starfire: You are the winner!
Raven: Um... way to go.
Cyborg: Just a rookie and already you're an MVP and the winner of the coveted four cheese trophy! The world wants to know, how does it feel?
Terra: Um, good, and kind of greasy.
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Robin: Can't be any scarier than that documentary on hot-dogs Starfire made us watch.
Starfire: It was fascinating! I had no idea Earth-people ate so many pigs... and insects!
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[Raven wakes up from a nightmare in her goth-style room]
Raven: Maybe I should consider redecorating.
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Beast Boy: You guys... missed me?
Cyborg: Sure! Who else is going to help me wax the T-Car?
Robin: And spar with me in the gym?
Starfire: And wolf down nauseating amounts of tofu while Raven and I watch?
Raven: Uh... how about we just go out for pizza?
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Raven: The book of Azar is not a toy!
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Slade: Hello, Terra. Remember me?
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Beast Boy: This is the best pie in the history of pie.
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Starfire: [upon first meeting Terra] Curiosity abounds! Please, tell us where you are from, how you got here, what's your favorite color, and do you wish to be my friend?

Terra: Uh, Earth, walked, red, and, sure.
Starfire: [giving Terra a huge hug] Hello, new friend!

Beast Boy: [to the green Raven] What is with you? First you nuke breakfast, then you laugh at my jokes, then you're all weepy, now you're a Marine? Make up your mind!
Beast Boy: Who are you?
Raven: [pink, gray and green Raven] I'm Raven.
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[Beast Boy has just caught Raven]
Raven: You saved me? I thought you didn't like me.
Beast Boy: Thought you didn't like me.
Cyborg: Hey! I like both of you! Now let's get out of here!
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Raven: [smiling at Beast Boy and Cyborg] Thank you... friends.
Beast Boy: So then, we really are friends?
Raven: [nodding and blushing] Um-hmm.
Beast Boy: And you really think I'm funny?
Raven: Don't push it.
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Raven: So... do we get bathroom breaks?
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Cash: What's going on, Buddy?
Cyborg: I want my car.
Sammy: Yeah, see, um... the thing is... we sort of lost it in a race.
Cash: No way, we beat him easily. She handled like a dream.
Cyborg: She did? How'd you take the curve? Cause, you know, I've been working on the supsension part to d-d-d-d... Don't try to distract me.
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Beast Boy: Umm... watch out for falling dinosaurs?
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Slade: Will you destroy the Teen Titans?
Terra: I thought you'd never ask.
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Beast Boy: Terra, Stop! We're your friends!
Terra: I don't have any friends. Remember?
[she punches him]
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Raven: Terra.
Terra: Raven.
Raven: Traitor.
Terra: Witch.
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Cyborg: [Cyborg and Beast Boy are playing racing car games] You wanna past me, but you can't pass me, you can't pass... YOU PASSED ME!
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Beast Boy: You talk to fish? Yeah, right.
Aqualad: I'm talking to you, aren't I?
Beast Boy: Well, I, uh, technically, I'm a squid
Aqualad: It's called telepathy. Follow me.
Beast Boy: [imitating Aqualad] It's called telepathy.
Aqualad: I heard that.
Beast Boy: Who is this guy?
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Beast Boy: I may not be smart enough to know everything, but I'm dumb enough to try anything.
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Raven: [after getting off of Beast Boy as a rhino] ... And now I smell like rhino butt.
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Raven: Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out is what makes you a man.
Beast Boy: Hmm, maybe you should call me Beast Man from now on.
Raven: We're having a moment here, don't ruin it.

Raven: I don't exactly fit in.
Cyborg: He's green, half of me is metal, and she's from space. You fit in just fine.

Beast Boy: But what about my secret identity?
Raven: What secret identity? You're green.

Raven: [to Robin, about Starfire] So, you're gonna go after the alien?
Robin: I have to find out if she's a threat.
Cyborg: [to himself] More like find out if she'll give him another kiss.

Raven: [as the aliens group around Cyborg, Starfire and Robin] Get away from my friends! Azarath Metrione Zinthos! "Teen Titans: Hide & Seek (#5.7)"(2005)

Monsieur Mallah: [after he's captured the kids] Say goodbye to your friends.
[drives off]
Raven: Nobody messes with my kids!
[flies after him]

Raven: I need back up.
[pulls out her communicator]
Raven: Raven to anyone!
Beast Boy: Raven.
Raven: Anyone *other* than Beast Boy!

Raven: [after the sky ride crashes.] Is everyone okay?
[Teeth vomits. Raven groans]
Timmy Tantrum, Melvin: [excitedly] Do it again! Do it again!
Raven: No, again!

Raven: [flying towards the other Titans] Is it just me or is this getting easier?
Madame Rouge: [Madame Rouge appears in front of them] Children, when will you learn?
[gets tackled by Hot Spot and Wildebeest]
Raven: Like I said... "Teen Titans: Sisters (#1.2)"(2003)

[Winning a carnival ring-toss game]
Beast Boy: Told ya we'll win you a prize.
Raven: A giant chicken. I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

Raven: [at a rave] This party is pointless.
Goth Boy: Everything's pointless. Wanna talk about it?

[Starfire is teaching Raven how to fly, because they have switched bodies, and requires a happy thought]
Starfire: Very, very good. What was your joyful thought?
Raven: You don't want to know...
Starfire: Oh, but I do... please tell me... what did you imagine?
Raven: You not talking.
Starfire: Oh... well, I am glad I was able to help.

"Teen Titans: The End: Part 3 (#4.13)"(2005)

Raven: You may have created me. But you were NEVER a FATHER!
[blasts Trigon]
Trigon - The Guardian: Wretched! Insignificant -
[gets blasted again]
Raven: Father's are KIND!
[blasts Trigon]
Raven: Father's PROTECT you!
[blasts Trigon]
Raven: Father's RAISE you!
[blasts Trigon]
Raven: I was protected by the Monks of Azarath. I was raised by my friends! They are my family! This is my HOME! And you are not welcome here! Azarath Metreone Zinthos!

Raven: Blue's still my favorite color and you're not funny.
Beast Boy: ...Raven!
[hugs Raven] "Teen Titans: Final Exam (#1.3)"(2003)

Raven: [warningly, in an icy monotone] They went into my room. No one should ever go into my room.

[Beast Boy and Cyborg are fighting, trying to fnid the remote control]
Cyborg: [shouting] Man, how am I supposed to watch TV without the remote?
Raven: [angry] Simple... you just get up, and change the channel.
Cyborg: Don't even joke like that.
Raven: I wasn't joking.
Cyborg: Good. Cause it wasn't funny!

"Teen Titans: Mother Mae-Eye (#4.10)" (2005)Starfire: Friends! Awaken! Alarm!
Starfire: [in one breath] The Mother Mae-Eye is not truly our mother, but an evil witch who has tricked us all and invaded our home and forbidden our missions and stolen our boogers and keeps us all under her spell with frequent and plentiful helpings of enchanted pie!
[stops and gasps for breath]
Raven: So... what now?
Cyborg: I think she's saying she wants more pie.

Robin: [after Starfire hits them all on the head with a rolling pin to break Mother Mae-Eye's spell] Umm... why am I in a giant pie?
Beast Boy: Why am I in a bunny suit?
Raven: [angry] Why am I in a dress?

House of Night Oath, created by: DefyTheImpossible

I promise to think of Zoey
When I feel I'm growing up too fast

I promise to remember Heath
When a relationship always last

I promise to think of Stevie Rae
When I am by the earth

I promise to think of Dallas
When someone tells me about their birth

When I see a cute pair of jeans
I'll think of the Twins of course

I promise to think of Dragon
When my heart fills with remorse

I promise to think of Damien
When I need to look at a dictionary

I promise to remember Jack
When I sing "Defying Gravity"

I promise to think of Erik
When someone thinks they're always right

I promise to think of Nyx
When I look at the sky at night

I promise to think of Rephaim
When someone helps me one, just once

I promise to think of Neferet
When someone suddenly turns nuts

I promise to think of Kalona
When I love someone too much

I promise to think of Stark
When I shoot an arrow right before lunch

I promise to think of Aphrodite
When someone acts seriously mean

I promise to think of Darius
When someone gives me a shoulder to lean

I promise to remember P.C.
When a girl needs her mom

I promise to remember Kristin
When I need a mom

I promise to think of the characters
Whenever my mood is low

I promise to remember the House of Night series
Wherever I shall go

Share this quote

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you talk to yourself and aren't afraid to admit it to anyone, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you often laugh maniacally when you're all by yourself, please copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

Are there hookers in heaven?

Has God ever had His Wallet stolen and then got really really REALLY pissed and ran after the thief throwing lightning bolts at him?

Copy and Paste into your profile if you think that if you make it to Heaven God is gonna be waiting there with a lightning bolt.


Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

Vampires vs. Werewolves...It's kinda like pirates vs ninjas, but cooler

Firefighter: At one point we decided to fight fire with fire... Well...basically... your house burned even faster.

I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.

Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and slap that jerk upside the head

"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.

Friends will always be like "well you deserve better" but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in seven days"

Guns don't kill people. I do.

My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.

Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

The spontaneous rally will begin at 1:45.

Assassinations is an extreme form of censorship.

I'll be rich and famous when I invent something that will stab people over the internet

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the fun I will have.

Somebody needs a Happy Meal.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

Girls who are not part of the Beiber Fever are an endangered species! If you are one, add your name, Tell DancingQueen411 you did, then copy and paste this to your profile: DancingQueen411, daughter-of-water-98, Invader Cakez, teiaramogami,DoTurtlezHavTeeth,

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

When someone says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Say, "Oh yeah?" and throw a dictionary at them!

When life gives you lemons, throw them back at life and say, "Give me chocolate!"

If you want Invader Zim to come back, copy and paste this into your profile and sign your name: RulerofFire, MyWhiteLady, Invader Nyx, Serentochan, Zim'sMostLoyalServant, Sara Zoe Tigris, Guy Person, Invader Catara,INVADER GRIM, bak602, GirsWaffles22, Miss Author, teiaramogami, DoTurtlezHavTeeth

If Fanfiction is your way of escaping reality and the rest of the boring people in the world and truly "unleashing your imagination" then paste this in your profile and add your name: Emerald Princess 14, StardustFromThePlanetGallifrey, NarnianLady, KingdomHeartsNerd, TohruROX2221, Slytherin Queen 1.03, Invader Gilly, sinkittytail, Invader Cakez, teiaramogami,DoTurtlezHavTeeth

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE that's weird. If you agree, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever considered going (and have gone) to the dark side since they have cookies, copy this onto your profile.

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think Tobi should run for president, copy and paste this onto your profile !

You Know You're a Book Addict If (Bold those that apply):

You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.

Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading.

You write fanfictions about the book. (DUH)

You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else) to read it. (and don't they know it)

You accidentally call everyone by the characters' names.

Everything reminds you of the book.

You quote random lines all the time. You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.(like try and fly like the flock)

You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class.

You've got a book memorized.(well pretty much, minor detail fade but I always remember the ending)

You've read a book more than five times.

You've read a book with 400+ pages in less than two days. (dudes, I can do this in HOURS not days, ask anyone who know me well enough)

You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like.( Fine, but I only debate it...five times...)

You've plotted to murder a character and steal her boyfriend.(well not quite murder, I was thinking more along the lines of a life swap...)

You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional

You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional

Firenze and I have a lot in common, we both have parts like a horse.

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Could I borrow your wand? I need to practice my 'swish and flick.'

Are you a dementor? Because you just took my breath away.

Yeah girls call me "Aguamenti." Every time they hear my name, they get wet.

It's a portkey... once you touch it, it will take you somewhere you ain't never been before.

Yu check your back every morning in the mirror to see if you've sprouted wings and can join the flock.

You test your hand in sunlight to check and see if you're still (unfortunately) human.

You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.

Your idol is a character from a book.

When you turn on a light you say "Lumos"

I'm goblin. Let me stroke your vault.

When someone pisses you off you look at them and say "Avada Kedvera"

I'm like the spine on a care of magical creatures book; if you stroke me right I'll open wide for you. (Pretty much a witch's line)

Did you just cast a spell on me baby? 'Cause I'm feeling an engorgio charm coming on.

I know you're taken, but if I had a time-turner, you'd be mine.

Is your name "Avada Kedavra"? 'Cause you've got a killer bod.

The sorting hat says you should be in my house...wait ...whats that...it also says you should be in my bed.

You don't have to say "Lumos Maxima" to turn me on.

Month one

I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
but I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy! HELP me!

Month Seven

I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak. :(

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."
_... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .sSS... ... ..sS... ... ... ... ... ... ... . If you're a girl and you've ever
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... sSSS? ... ... .s..sS³ ... ... ... ... ... . beaten a guy in an arm wrestle,
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSS. ... .sS.. sSS³.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . copy the Flaming Heart
... ... ... ... ... ... ..sSSSS³.. ... .sS.. .SS³ . ... ... ... ... ... ... ... into your profile!
... ... ... ... ... ... . SSSSS... ... ... sS³... ³S.. ... ... ... ... ... ... . (sorry guys, girls only)
... ... ... ... S. ... .SSSSSSs ... ... .sS³... ³,
... ... ... ...sS. ... ³SSSSSSSs. ... .SSS.. ... .
... ... ... ... SS ... .³SSSSSSs.. ... ³SSs ,
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... ... ... ..s...SSSS ... ..sSSSSSSSS³. ..s SS³
... ... ... .SS.. sSSSS..sSSSSSSSSSSSSS S³
... ... ...sSSSssssSSSSSSSSSSsssssssSSS
... ... SSs§§§§§§§§§sSSSSs§§§§§§§§§SS
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25 Wierd and Random Things to Do In Class

1. Try to develop psychic powers, then use them.
2. Inflate a beach ball and throw it around the room.
3. Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
4. Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
5. Churn some butter.
6. Conceive a brand new language.
7. See how long you can hold your breath.
8. Take your pants off and give them to the professor.
9. Chew on your arm until someone notices.
10. Change seats every three minutes.
11. Shave.
12. Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it.".
13. Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
14. Start a wave.
15. Walk around the room begging for spare change.
16. Roast marshmallows.
17. Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
18. Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.
19. Take apart your desk.
20. Pretend to communicate with your home planet.
21. Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
22. Throw your backpack at someone.
23. Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal".
24. Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.".
25. Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim

1. Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

I guess that just shows how much we think...-- i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care. Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction. Crazy is when you love a fictional charecter with the depths of your heart and soul would die for him and would marry him instantly if he were actually real. Crazy is when you have pictures of Edward Cullen and Twilight all over your school binders. Crazy is when you are afraid of the doctors cuz you think they'll graft wings onto you. Crazy is when you and your best friend have a boob fight. Crazy is when you and your best friend spend 20 minutes fighting over which is better Pepsi or Dr. Pepper and then get into a unicorn fight. Crazy os when your friend is 100 lbs lighter than you get into a fight and she wins by breaking your lip. Crazy is when you and your girl friends and guy friends play the Penis Game in the middle of a classroom and not get caught.If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

FAX! If you love it copy and paste this into your file

"What doesn't kill you, will most certainly try again."

"Get ur mind out of the gutter- BITCH i AM the gutter"

Welcome To the Mental Health Hotline.
Hello... and Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline...

If you are Obsessive/Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.

Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name address, telephone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 000.

If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9. If you have short- term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are blonde don't press any buttons, you'll just screw it up.

I want to get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets.

You know, Hagrid's not the only giant on campus.

You know, the Sorting Hat placed me in Gryffindor. I think it's because like Godric Gryffindor himself, I too have an impressive sword.

Want to have a Tri-Wizards Tournament? Well not really "Tri-Wizard," I was thinking more one wizard and two witches.

I've been whomping my willow thinking about you.

Do you know the Petrificus Totalus spell? Because you make me stiff.

I'm not an Animagus but sometimes I can be real animal.

You know Platform 9 and 3/4? Well I know something else with the same exact measurements.

A couple nights with me and Moaning Myrtle will have to get a new nickname.

Wanna practice making what looks like a mandrake?

You look like you'd be a good Quidditch player. Want to ride my broomstick?

The thought of you makes something vast and silver erupt from my wand.

They say I'm like the horn of a crumple-horned snorkack. Explosive.

You're like a bottle of Skele-Gro: growing me a bone.

Why don't I make like Salazar and Slyther inside of you?

I can be your house elf. I'll do whatever you want and I don't need any clothes.

Why don't you come tame my dragon?

I don't know a thing about Merlin's pants, but I'd love to get into yours!

You don't have to worry about me, I've been tested for Hogwarts, if you know what I mean.

Engorgio! Oh wait I don't need magic to enlarge this!

Did you say "Wingardium Leviosa"? Cause you've got me rising, baby.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

(This Actually Happened)

walking down the street on a ghost tour*

random drunk guy*

(Drunk Guy)

H-HEY! Have ya'll seen the ghost on LAMEO street?!

(Creepy Looking Tour Guide)

"Oh that was so original, go read a book!



(British Creepy Tour Guide)

"Your's first!




well it would only be proper to let his mother to go first"

We may not be in Professor Flitwick's class, but you still are charming.

My love for you burns like a dying phoenix.

Being without you is like being under the Cruciatus Curse.

If I was to look into the Mirror of Erised, I would see the two of us together.

What do you say we disapparate out of here.

You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!

Will you be my horcrux tonight, so l can give a piece of my soul to you?

You must not be a Muggle, because you cast a spell on me.

Are you using the Confundus charm or are you just naturally mind blowing?

I must need Occlumency, because I can't get you out of my thoughts.

I might as well be under the Imperius curse, because I'd do anything for you.

Your smile's like expelliarmus: simple but disarming.

Did you survive Avada Kedavra? 'Cause you're drop dead gorgeous.

I need a pensieve because my head is filled with thoughts about you.

Cho Chang? More like Cha-Ching! Cause I just hit the jackpot.

Would you like a butterbeer? It's a portkey. Next thing you know we'll be back at my place.

I don't need the mirror of Erised to know that you're everything I desire.

Did you use Relashio? 'Cause there's sparks between us.

Did you slip some Firewhiskey into my drink, or are you just getting hotter?

"What doesn't kill me, had better run." - My inner serial killer

"The only thing to fear is fear itself... and clowns.. and needles." - Me on any occassion

I'll never commit suicide, there are way cooler ways to die.

If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.

You see a kid abusing a puppy with a baseball bat.
97% of people would yell "STOP!"
2% of them would cheer,
1% of them would take the baseball bat and hit the kid then take the puppy to the Vet.
Post this on you profile if you are that 1%...


I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I GOT SICK so I MUST be bulimic.
I WEAR GLASSES so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm NOT POPULAR so I MUST have no life.
I'm POPULAR so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm FRIENDLY so I MUST be fake.
I DO SCHOOL CLUBS so I MUST be a suck up.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm MEXICAN, I I MUST steal everything I don't have.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I ACT DIFFERENT so I MUST be a show-off.
I HAVE NO FACEBOOK so I MUST have no friends.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm TALENTED so I MUST be a conceited show-off.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I LIKE A "LOSER" so I MUST be one too.
I WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST be a slut.
I DON'T WEAR MAKEUP so I MUST "think i'm all that".
I'm an HONEST PERSON, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm an ACTRESS so I MUST be a liar.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage. (Fuck off Native American Haters)
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...
I'm A WRITER so I MUST be crazy.
I LIKE SCHOOL so I MUST be a loser
I like DANCING, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I TALK TO BOYS so I MUST be a slut.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.
I LIKE TO READ so I MUST have no life.
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so i must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.
I LIKE TO LOOK GOOD so I MUST be insecure.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.
I LIKE TO SING so I MUST be some "pop star".
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
i'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm sort of GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.
I'm an OG so I must be Mexican.
I DO STUDENT GOVERMENT so I MUST be a class-act suck-up.
I TRY so I MUST be an over-acheiver
i act freaking CRAZY so i must be craving attention.
i LAUGH ALL THE TIME so i must be a party girl.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm british, so I MUST be either a football (soccer) obsessed drugee/alcoholic or a rich and snobby with high society english.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I GO TO A GEEK SCHOOL, so I MUST have no social life.
I'm a neek, so I MUST not swear or talk about sex
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy
I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
II DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have no clue
i am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.
I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.
I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.
I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.
I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.
I agree with some cases of ABORTION so i MUST be heartless.
I have taken sisha, so I MUST be attention seeking.


A Band Geek is a rare and valuable creature most often found lurking near football fields or practice rooms. They have been around for as long as anyone can remember, however, there was a surge in the population around 1980 and maybe back in the good old days of "American Pie" around 2001. They are a herd animal and it is common to see them surrounded by other band geeks. They are not to be mistaken with their close cousins: the geeks. They are also related to nerds, orchestra kids, and more loosely to musicians.

The life of a Band Geek is simple and revolves around all things band. They are often up before any sane person and are seen disturbing the peace at all hours. They can adapt to any weather condition (rain, hail, tornadoes, etc) often appearing to spawn extra clothing if necessary. They remain at the field far after everyone else has left, continuing to run their show, over and over and over. They live for band 6 days a week, with Saturday being the most important holy day. Saturdays are dedicated solely to band, for this is the day they participate in many of their rituals. This includes the most important one ... Competition.

The main diet of a Band Geek consists of energy drinks, such as Red Bull and Monster, and Pixie Stix and Tic-Tacs. They have also been known to tolerate ungodly amounts of caffeine and sugar. However, at some band camps, directors who worry about dehydration and other mortal things will provide band geeks with a specialty drink called Waterade, which is a secret blend of powdered drink mix, hose water, and ice from the big cooler at the gas station. Waterade, though its taste does not match that of the aforementioned energy drinks, can still give a band geek a couple more hours of rehearsal capability.

Species of Band Geeks

1.)The Not So Geeky-Band Geek - This person knows he is in band and everyone he knows knows that this person is in band. The part that separates them from the rest of the species is that his peers don't think of him as a band geek. They have normal friendships with the jocks and are not made fun of. This species of band geek is treated as if they are not band geeks and are sometimes thought of as cool kids. They tend to be in band because momma gave them a saxophone in the 5th grade, or they are taking percussion to find a girlfriend/for PE credit.


Creepy, aren't they

The Reluctant Band Geek - Reluctant Band Geeks play an instrument and often spend time with other band geeks; however, they refuse to acknowledge the fact that they are in band when they are with other people. They may even deny that they are in band at times, such as Boxing day (UK).

3.) The Proud Band Geek - this is the person who is a Band Geek and knows it. They spend all of their free time in and around band. Also, they often talk about band and they may even advertise the fact that they are in band by wearing their uniforms or pep band shirts at functions outside of band. They take the abuse with a smug grin, assured of eventual instrumental retribution.

4.) The Stereotypical Band Geek - this is your stereotypical band geek, the kind who wears head-gear and a pocket protector. They breathe through their mouths and are good at math and other nerdly things.

5.) The Ultimate Band Geek - this person is more involved in band then their own family. This is usually either your section leader, band manager, or just that one really weird kid who hangs out in the director's office all the time. They get to practice early and are always the last ones to leave (when there's two of them in the same room, one may not leave before the other for fear of not being as hardcore.) Drum majors often fall under this category as well.

6.) Band Wanna-Be- A person who sucks at their instruments and keeps switching until they have to quit band because they run out of instruments. They usually annoy the other sections because they suck so badly. They make fun of the band director and are usually perverted/trouble-makers. Often in marching band they will also be referred to as "props" or "alternates".

7.) The American Pie Band Geek - On band trips, they will often be found in the back of the bus playing each others' "instruments."


8.) The Colorguard - A small sub-group of the band geek, made up of a congregation of females (and the occasional male, who is often homosexual) who either have one foot in the world of band geekery and one foot in the real world, or are the most geeky creatures of the entire band, thinking of nothing else but their routines, and can be found tossing and spinning almost anything they can get their hands on. It is also advisable for you not to put your hands on their equipment either. A rifle across the side of the head can be quite painful. Color guard is not to be confused with majorettes, or "twirl girls." Band geeks and colorguard are two separate groups. However, without a colorguard, your band won't be as good. The better the colorguard you have, the better your marching band is. At the same time, the better colorguards tend to run with the better bands.

So You Want to be a Band Geek

The requirements to be a band geek are very simple. In fact, a recent Harvard study shows that they are so simple that almost 2.6% of the population IS a band geek, whether you know it or not. The requirements are as thus :

you must play an instrument or spin a flag.you must know the definitions of such terms as "staccato," "fortepiano," and "ritardando."you must know that fortepiano is a basic term for "sforzando."you must know that the previous requirement is not true and got very angry when you read it.you must "get" jokes such as "how do you get two piccolos to play in tune... shoot one of them!" and know that they are true.you must also realize the previous "joke" is untrue... for the only way to get two piccolos to play in tune is to shoot BOTH of them.you must know how to march, be it military, roll-step, or high-step.you must admit that Fridays/Saturdays during the fall are a lost cause for anything other than band.you must have at least 1/2 of your friends in the band.you must only date people within the band, a term more commonly recognized as "bandcest"you must suffer from (or enjoy) some form of a hyperactive disorder.

If you have over 2/3s of the above qualities, then you are a band geek: accept it, embrace it, love it, live it.


Band Room (also known as the Band Hall) - the second home of a band geek. (When really it's the first home, they spend more time there than in their actual house).Band Camp - a process during which the weak and unworthy are sorted out to be sacrificed to the Gods of Bandfor a good season.Pep Band - a religious event in which those who partake speak in a secret language involving complicated dances, twists, and tunes.Bus Rides - possibly the most dangerous ritual, involving large numbers of band geeks in a very confined space - this is a sacred and secret meeting, the details of which are not yet available to the public, but rumor has it that they do weird rituals that involve weird laughter and blood.Shows - this is the only time in which the Band Geeks reveal themselves to society. They are very elaborate rituals and sacrificial garments are generally worn by all members in preparation for it. Headdresses are also common.Competition - not much is known about Competition, as it is the most important of the Band Geek rituals and is seldom spoken of.District (Honor Band)-known as one of the most important of almost all of the rituals where all of those geeks gather to play their crappy(of which are extremely hard and only worked on it for like max or 5 seconds) (and yes they have short attention spans)in front of judges that are (thanking god) they don't get to see the faces of the horrible musicans that shall be "showing off" to them at that time.

You Know You're a Band Geek When...

...you march 8 to 5 in time with other bandos in the hallway (also in 12 to 5, 16 to 5, 6 to 5 and even jazz runs)

...90% of your t-shirts are white/grey

...all your friends are in the band

...the months December, January, February, March, and April are of no importance to you. (unless you are in indoor innovations

)...you realized that February actually is important because it's the time of the sacred ritual of Solo & Ensemble...

you have a neckstrap tan line

...you have a harness tan line...

you called your director mom (or dad) and they responded..

.the sound of your alarm clock brings back fond memories of band camp..

.the sound of a car alarm instantly reminds you to stay in step (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!).

..you have ringtones of your band music...

you recognize "one more time" as meaning "do it 7 more times, restarting the count every time someone makes a mistake" (Again!)...

whenever someone starts to count "one...two...three" you respond with "DUT! DUT! DUT, DUT, DUT, DUT!".

..you start having dreams with flag girls in them..

.you and 3 friends show up at the wrong football game and try to run the show anyway..

.you always manage to somehow bring up the topic of marching bandin everyday conversation. ("This one time at band camp...")

...you cried at the end of "Drumline", because of how inaccurate it was..

.you and your band friends spontaneously sing last year's show

...you know yours and all your rival bands' scores and rankings...from ten years ago..

.you watch and rewatch past championship shows trying to find out why you didn't win (or if you did win, why you didn't get a 99.15) (there! those lines don't cover down! again, the trumpets always overblow! out of step right in front of the judge!).

..you've almost been impaled by a piece of colorguard equipment...

you cancel a date with your girlfriend/boyfriend because you have a competition that saturday. (which wouldn't happen anyway, because.

..(see next line))

...your girlfriend/boyfriend is in the band...and if she's not in the band, you strive to get her in the band or adopt the ways of the band geek...

you draw drill sets on your homework...your favorite pick-up line:

"I'm a fermata, hold me" or "Hey Baby"...

you have no problem changing your clothes on a bus filled with fellow band members.

..you write extensively about band on a parody wiki that has (almost) nothing to do with band (in that case, you are the greatest band geek ever)...

you don't know the words to your alma mater and it doesn't matter because you'll never sing them.

..the Football team has blamed you and fellow band members for their loss of a game..

.you have had heated discussions with multiple football players in an attempt to explain to them why the band is much more important than their raggedy game.

..you and all of your band friends are subconciously all in step...and you can never get out of step...no matter how hard you try..

.you attend football games for, on average, 3 quarters...y

ou attend football games to check out what the opposing bands sound like (but only on weeks during which your football team is not playing and so the band has nothing to do on Friday nights)...

if you own more band shirts than actual clothes

...if you march the same timing behind other people..

.you don't know your music but you brainsuck off other people...if you have 10 different nicknames..

.if any song you hear you think of a field show for...

if you are reading this article and responding, "THAT'S SO TRUE!"..

.if you have more drum sticks than pencils in your backpack.

..if you're about to print this off..

.if you get part of your show music stuck in your head during other classes..

.if you hear songs on the radio and start marking time to them out of habit

...when people clap in sync, you resist the intense urge to shout "PRIDE"..

.you know not to walk in the trumpet/brass section barefooted from experience..

.if you get excited over a new box of reeds.

..not only the problem of the piece stuck in your head after class but being chased by everyone for singing it out loud~

Instrument Sections

Flutes - The "ditsy" members of the band. They also tend to make fun of other people and are the most sought after section in the band. They are big flirts too and are usually the most attractive looking girls. They are giggly and gossipy and usually looking for a boyfriend. They also gossip the most. Though most see them as usless, the band would be nothing without them. I mean we can't have ugly chicks in band right?

Clarinets - Also known as the "violent section".There is always someone who cant tounge and it makes their section leader want to commit suicide. They are often girls, with few guy players who are usually good players which keeps them stomaching the company of the girls. The guy players are always either way better than the girl players, or extremely worse. The girls of the section are smarter and less girly than the flutes but often violent/bossy, and the male players are less odd than male flutes. They always play very quietly because they are ashamed of the noise that is coming out of their instrument, making one of the band director's most common phrases "play out, clarinets!! Solos, however, are a prized gem in this section, and can result in the members pulling weapons out of their instruments (lightsabers, machetes, wands, etc.) to fight for said solo. Clarinets have also been known to use their instruments as WWII rifles in war reenactments when the director isn't looking and brag about their reed size. They also name their own instruments. It is also very common to find them thinking they are the rulers of the world. Clarinets are most often in conflict with the trumpet section. The clarinet players usually hang together too, but they seem to have a best friend bass clarinet player as well. The most Important thing is that clarinets are always better than flutes, just because!

Saxophones - Have a weird, nerdy, and often perverted sense of humor. They love stealing solos from other sections (especially French horns), and always want to make the music they are given either a higher or lower octave. Band directors hate/love this section more than any other, and hate their inability to stop playing. They have a tendency to suffer from severe sleep deprivation and choose band class for their prime napping time. In spite of all this napping they tend to be the best technically sound section in the band. The flute section is the saxophone's natural enemy, but from time to time a saxophone male or female will be seen conversing with a flute or clarinet in some cases. Tenors and altos don't get along. Putting the two in the same room may result in death. This is often because tenors consider themselves to be a separate section from the rest of the saxophones, mostly due to the fact that they play in a different key, march on the other side of the field, and are tired of putting up the alto section leader. Many have perverted jokes and sometimes get along with Boners. Will get VERY touchy when talking about their boyfriend/girlfriend in the flutes or piccolo section. In some rare cases an alto sax player will have a crush on a tenor. When this happens the whole band may die from shock. The bari sax generally gets along with everybody, though on some occasions they are known to fight with either alto saxes or clarinets. Make up perverted jokes about "sucking on their reeds." M.D.+ Me forever~(hahaha only a saxophone could understand what those words mean)

Trumpets - Usually propelled by just 2-3 actually good players, but all of them attempt to be the highest, loudest, and most arrogant. Easily the cockiest section of the band, which is not helped by the fact that 70% of band directors were trumpet players. Members of this section generally have the shortest attention spans of the band. These egomaniacs tend to play louder than anyone else in the band, despite the fact that none of them have mastered their upper octave past a squeaking sound. A girl trumpet player is usually a tomboy or winds up the mom of the section but not always, a lot of the trumpet boys have trumpet girlfriends if not a slutty flute player.

French Horns/Mellophones - Elitists. Everyone envies/hates them. Mellophone players also tend to be the most popular people, sometimes tying with trumpets for this position. The make up of the section is usually 3-5 people. Usually two or three of the members are joined at the hip (and are the talented ones) while the remaining one or two are just there for numbers. Horns can be very perverted at times. Females will cut your balls off or snipe you if they don't like you, though they are usually easy to get along with. Always complain that they don't get solos. Also they seem to have a lot of trouble keeping their bells up, or keep the bells too high. Or more commonly, one cannot play well and the other not loud enough. The mellophones are one of the most beautiful instruments as a solo with the nicest warm tone.

damn right they're sexy!!

Trombones - Either the smallest or the disproportionately large section, and usually contains the really weird people. Most of them can never sit up straight. Will play random notes as loud as they can because they can if they dont get into trouble. Most members completely perverted and turn everything into a sexual innuendo! The presence of females within the section that do not match the required testosterone levels causes confusion but sometimes it can be pretty awesome to other trombone players. However, the trombones are by far the best section of the band. They are always disappointed if they cant play over the trumpets but, when the director tells the trumpets to back off, the trombones cheer and laugh sarcastically and humorously at the trumpet section. Known to have the most balls of any members of the band... or perhaps it's the greatest level of stupidity. Caution: This section will play extremely loud in parts where they don't need to because they know it is fun and they are always crazy, loud obnoxious and hyper... and just at all times in general. accompanied by the tubas, they are always the ones who scream and lost their voice at every football game and are proud of it and dance to drum cadences when the section leader says the secret code such as "HOOOAAAHHH!!!"

Euphoniums/Baritones - Euphonium players are usually HUGE Band Geeks and have to deal with carrying heavy, unbalanced instruments. The generally carry most of the characteristics as Trombones (who they usually hate) but are extreme narcissists who tend to characterized as strange, awkward, and somewhat perverted. Any females who play are usually quirky. They can seen doing usually stupid things such as attempting to phase through walls at band camp or trying weird voodoo rituals. Euphonium players can almost be diagnosed as having ADHD. Sometimes baritones or Euphonium are trombone players in disguise: many bands choose not to march trombones. They are mostly unknown to non-Band geeks, but due to their section pride you will know who they are. They are also known to maul people's heads off when called mini-tubas or when Euphonium, name is misspelled, not capitalized, or called baritones (baritones are also know to do this in the opposite manner). There are usually 2 of them(baritone not euph.) and are the ones that wish they can play tuba and many that are considered "Honorary Trombones".

Tubas - Tubas do usually fit into the low brass, as they are the laziest members of the band. The band is not complete without one. They're usually found eating during practices, performances, etc. Despite the fact that they control the beat of a show, they have trouble memorizing their boring, repetitive quarter notes. Their area of the practice room is usually FILTHY. A tuba player is usually has a great sense of humor. Sometimes the troublemaker of the band and usually best buds with one of the members of the trombone or percussion section.

Drumline - Typically "balls for brains", they are truly convinced that they are the perfect form of man. A lot of the drummers are gangstas. They practice constantly, and are known for being very hardcore. You can usually tell them apart from normal humans by the constant tapping emitted from any appendage on their body. Band members and drummers find it hard to discuss music, as drummers usually don't even notice the band is playing (usually because the band is never watching the drum major). The drumline IS the tempo, as they are they only ones capable of holding on to it. With that being said, they have the worst relationship with the drum major, as they blame the tempo tears on the DM and believe that the tempo they set is the right tempo and everyone else is too slow. Do not mistake them for abnormal though; they do have emotions and are human (for the most part). A rare breed of these obnoxious creatures are "female drummers". They are known for their abnormal behavior around other human beings and having just as large an ego as the male of the species. AKA: Most female drummers also tend to be the only ones with brains and or talent.

Pit - The "rejects" of a band. The section contains 1-2 players who joined the section because they have experience playing piano but all joined this section because either no other section wanted them or they needed a section to belong to to be able to join the band. Occasionally a sub-species of drummer who choose not to meet the marching requirements. They often hate what they play (unless it's cymbal related) and avoid what they do for as long as they possibly can. They are very unorganized, yet know where all their equipment is at all times. Half their practices are spent in 'five-minute breaks'. They love almost everyone and when "just drill" runs are happening, they point out mistakes in the marchers. They are very touchy about their lack of marching. Almost every single person stuck in this position is somewhat brighter then the rest of drumline.

Cowbell - The holy grail of all miscellaneous percussion items. No matter how loud you play, the director will still want 'more'. This has been known to cause damage to mallets, drumsticks, and small aluminum bats. Common playing techniques include getting completely off-beat and jumping around like an idiot. Usually gets some very tall guy out there doing that for full effect, maybe some emo guy.

Oboe - The rarest of band geeks there can only be one oboe per band, no exceptions, because more than one in a room could either cause the apocalypse or AIDS. Known for making an odd squawking noise which may be some form of mating call they have a superiority over all other reeds because their mouthpiece is little more than two Popsicle sticks and was probably created as a joke by some band director to see "what kind of stupid ass clarinet would try to play it" often a misfit the oboe will attempt to blend in with either the flutes or the clarinets, leading many to believe all oboes suffer a daily identity crisis or that their instrument truly is the love child of a flute and clarinet (which is untrue because 103% of all clarinet/flute playing males are homosexual and therefore infertile) They receive 86% of all solos ever, and are typically ignored until then. Either extremely snooty or very hyperactive they're very twitchy and prone to screaming "NO, YOU'RE NOT IN TUNE!!!" when accused of being even slightly off key, because they 'never are'. A highly skilled oboe player will sound like a strangled duck and will cut a bitch if you ask them "what kind of clarinet is that?" They live a sick delusion that everyone wishes they played the oboe, as it is the most difficult instrument to play and requires studying with Tibetan monks, do not disagree, they can fit their reeds fairly far up the nasal passages of any other human being. Best if you just avoid them, especially during marching season, when they’re condemned to pit and are extremely volatile.


You can get a Band Geek to do almost anything by threatening to harm/damage their instrument (especially if they own it).

Also, breaking a reed in half in front of any reed instrument player will cause them extreme physical as well as pshycological pain.

A Band Geek will also do almost anything for food, and get very excited when they find more places in their uniforms to hide food so they can sneak it into the stands at games.Bullets (thats what you think)


Bipolar disorder

Asperger syndrome


ridden hyperactivity



Arcs/ straight lines

Marching in 3/4 time

Having Taps (a very complicated ritual in which everyone must stay in time) stuck in your head

Getting annoyed when car blinkers are not in time

Nuclear Weaponry (also what you think)

A short attention span, when your marching on the field and forget where your going!

Tearing up their music (or touching it)


Band Crack

Band crack is an exclusive drug for marching band members only. It is invisible and very addicting. Generally packed into water bottles, the air of the band room, on the band bus, and in instrument cases. Without Band Crack, the students in marching band would just be normal students.

The crazier, more perverted, or more disorganized the band member, the more they've been dipping into the band more often. It is also the cause of any withdraw symptoms that may be felt when away from band.

Freshmen do not get their full supply of band crack until well into the football season.

Band Member 1: This one time at band camp...
Band Member 2: *in fits of giggles*
Non-band member: What's wrong with her?
Band Member 1: She's been into the band crack again.

Band Bus Code

the code that bandies attempt, but never end up swearing by regarding what happens on the band bus: what happens on the band bus STAYS on the band bus.

Marie: omg on that one band trip i sat next to this trumpet player... we ended up hooking up!
Gina: whoa, girl! don't you know the band bus code? what happens on the band bus STAYS on the band bus!

Fred: What happened to the band bus code?!

Band Camp Tan

The tan members of a marching band get in band camp, usually consisting of pale feet, tan legs, and depending on the shirt you wear, tan arms and/or shoulders, and a pale chest. If wearing gloves, will also have extremely pale hands. Similar to a farmer's tan, except to qualify you must get it in marching band camp.

"Whoah, why are your hands so pale?"
"Oh that's just my band camp tan."

Band Director

A often short person who conducts or directs a band. Has no life, assigning students scales sheets for their grades, and telling lame jokes. Often can be desperate at times. Can be cool at times, but most of the time they can be @$$holes.

Cool Band Director:
Hey he's one of the coolest Band Directors ever!

Lame Band Director:
This Band Director can't conduct for crap!

A Dictionary of Common Band Terms

Accelerando:What happens when drummers have to keep a steady beat.

Accidentals: The wrong notes.

Air:The driving force behind brass instruments, but generally lacks in woodwinds, therefore causing squeaks.

Alto Saxophone: A musical instrument that either plays very loud or not at all between squeaks

Arc:A shape with between one and five corners and one open side.

Astroturf:How to fall.

Attention:Standing still while sticking out your elbows, chest, and chin and being in constant pain. Can only talk in whispers so that no section leaders hear you.

Audition:the act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.

1) A group of musicians who get together to upset the orchestra members.
2) Slightly organized noise.

Band Director:A person who organizes the noise. (Assistant band director: A person who organizes less important noise.)

Band Boosters:A group of bored band family members who raise money to send the band far away.

Band Camp: A week in the hottest part of summer when band nerds reunite and kick off the band mating season. Mostly used to establish seniority and levels.

Band Mating Season:Between June and November when band nerds pair off exclusively and find it their right to display their affection for one another (gag!).

Band Nerd:Someone who is very enthusiastic and involved in band. Willing to give up all free time.

Band Parents:A few dedicated individuals that travel with the band and perform such tasks as fixing uniforms and distributing those beautiful plumes.

Band Reject:Any member who is not accepted by anyone in the band besides their own section (cough cough... percussionists).

Band Room: To be thought of as your home for four months out of the year.

Baritone Horn Players: Persons for whom music is written in either bass or treble clefs thus explaining the continual outpouring of wrong notes. ie. "This is in bass clef and I read treble".

Baritone Sax:Instrument for woodwind players that are wannabe tuba players.

Bass Clef:Where you wind up after the trumpet solo

Bassoon: A bedpost with a bad case of gas.

Beat:What music students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin

Be Quiet! (Command):You can talk if nobody catches you.

Bi-Sectional: The term given to one who plays different instruments for different ensembles.

Brain Fart:A mistake involving an escape of gaseous substances from the head usually in conjunction with missing a set.

Brass:Metallic looking and sounding devices designed to over-blow and get dented extremely easily.

1) A good way to get to know someone (nudge, nudge, wink, wink, if you know what I mean), however the most painful way in the world to watch a movie.
2) the best place to sing country music.
3) A portable changing room.

Cadence:A way of making the crowd forget that the band just played. Good time for band section visuals.

Center Snare:The leader of the percussion section who's main requirement for the job is to not be able to hold a steady tempo.

Chair: See how high you rank on the food chain in your section.

Cheese:Jazz Lab.

Circle:A closed shape with definite corners and edges.

Clarinet:Licorice stick that squeaks.

Clarinetist:A person who leaves old and broken reeds on the floor for you to throw away for them.

Classes:Waste of non-band time.

Clef:Something to jump from before the trumpet solo.

Colorguard: People who swing flags and toss rifles to distract the audience's attention away from the band. Makes the band seem better. Get extra credit if they hit (accidentally, of course) a band member, yet defied if they hit a field judge (although they gain major points with audience appeal).

Conducting: The Drum Major's method of amusing the band to points of laughter at times.

Conductor:An ignorable figure capable of following numerous individuals at once

Crack: A substance that too many people are smoking, When this term is used, it usually involes some one behaving in an odd way.

Cut Time:The sudden realization that everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.

Cymbals: Percussion instruments to be dropped while the band plays pianissimo.

Dancing:Done in the stands when one does not know their pep band music.

DCI: Drum Corps championship series. Extremely rough comparison: If PV is a green Pinto, DCI is a Lambourghini.

Director:The person who claims to be in charge when everything is going well and claims denial when things go wrong.

Discord:Not to be confused with Datcord.

Divine Comedy: Watching the drum major attempt to keep a correct tempo.

Dollar Bill:A device for cleaning saxophone pads.

Dr. Beat:A form of cruel and unusual punishment (violation of the 8th Amendment) that is bestowed over a loudspeaker when working on already-learned music.

Drill: Pages that show what a form is supposed to look like. Should be burned at year's end.

Drill-Down:When the band follows a long set of commands from the drum major, just to see who can do it, in an attempt at fun.

Drill Book:Gives you the power to walk around and talk on the field. Makes it look like you are fixing shapes.

Drum Corps:Very similar to marching band, except for a few differences: 1)They are good. 2) No woodwinds. Coincidence?

Drum Major: A student band director, or group of student band directors, who think they are directing the band but merely move their hands in the same tempo on every song like a robot.

Drum-Tap: A snare beat loud enough for the judges to hear, and quiet enough so band doesn't hear.

Drumline: The people hitting the drums (or each other) with sticks in time with each other, but either a half beat earlier or later than the band and one beat from the pit.

Early: Doesn't exist. Reasoning: To be early is to be on time, while to be on time is to be late, but to be late is to be dead. Following this through, early does not exist.

Fermata:A chance for the conductor to catch his breath while attempting to make his wind players pass out.

Fight Song:A cheerful, cheesy song that every band member could sing even if they slipped into a coma.

Flute:A sophisticated pea shooter with a range of up to 500 yards.

Freshmen:Designed to make up half the size of the band.

Full Uniform:A form of torture consisting of pants, a heavy wool jacket, a choking ugly hat (with that strikingly beautiful yet flammable plume), and "special" shoes.

Glissando:The way woodwind players play difficult runs.

Gong: A loud, large cymbal-like device. It is the goal of all good percussionists to break or crack this instrument in any way possible.

Halt: A time when everyone is theoretically stopped.

Hell:Inferno, half day / no school rehearsals, and camp food.

Home:The band room.

Instructor:Person who tells you when you're screwing up.

Interval, Spacing: A space between two band members that is random as the Drum Major's tempo.

IQ:A constant combined number that does not change as the size of the band does.

Jazz:Supposedly an All-American art form, but really just an excuse for everybody to play whatever and whenever they want without getting yelled at.

Juniors:Wannabe seniors who think they can boss people around.

Key Change:A change in the tonal center of a peice that takes place 3-5 measures after it is written in the music.

Laps:An alternative to pushups, though not as effective.

Left: the foot you start on, unless you are marching backwards.

Mark Time: Excercise.

Memorization:Learning the cool part of the song instead of your own.

MP:Abbreviation seen in music that stands for "mighty powerful".

Music: Pieces of paper that are lost and forgotten numerous times thorughout the season.

Never:Try not to get caught.

Notes:Little black things on paper that show what music should, in theory, sound like. Unfortunately we are not in theory, we are in band.

Oboe:An instrument that never works.

Oboist: A person that, due to the instrument, is not gay or straight, but is refered to as "Obosexual".

Page Turn:How to not play the hard parts.

Piccolo: Like a flute except you can hear it's out of tune.

Piano:It's in jazz band for some reason... or maybe no reason...

Play:Put your horn to your face. Take a breath. Then realize that you dropped something or need to fix something.

Playing Test:Yeah right.

Practice:The repetition of a piece until you get it right or you kill your director. Whichever comes first.

Private Lessons:The only sign of a true band nerd.

Quit:Everyone tries to do it...very few actually succeed.

Rain: Nature's way of telling the band they need to go inside and work on music.

Rifle:A large wooden stick used to break nails and bruise heads.

Ritard:The idiot behind the stick.

Saxophone: A brass/woodwind instrument that plays too loud in concert band, too soft in marching band and gets all the solos in jazz band.

Saxophonist: A retard.

Seniority:The right and privilege earned to cut in line and basically be mean to freshmen.

SFZ:Blatting, stopping, Blasting.

Solo: In Marching band, you get to stand still while everybody else has to march, and nobody even knows you played.
In concert band, you are not heard and you get to take a bow.
In jazz band, You barf through your horn and take a bow. Everbody loves it.

Sophomores:Try to make up for being abused as a freshmen by picking on the incoming freshmen as much as possible.

Spring Band Trip: Way too expensive for what it is. A week long excursion to a tourist-y attraction where band nerds run amok amongst unsuspecting tourists and innocent bystanders. Band couples are established just so everybody has a bus seat partner.

Standing:What the brass line does in jazz band. Due to a weakness in the saxes and rhythm section, they do not stand. Some are man enought to handle it but they sit anyways.

Squeak: The only sign that a clarinet is playing.

Tan Lines: Found around the ankles, upper arms, and thigh region on all attendees of band camp. Never goes away. Ever.

Tenor Saxophone: Bigger, louder, uglier. (The players and the horns.)

Tempo Change:Signal for musicians to ignore the conductor.

Three/Four Time: One would think this is impossible in marching band. Yet, due to massive retardation caused by excessive UV rays, we actually march better in 3/4 time. Truly bizarre.

Time:A way to keep the band continuously out of step.

Trumpet:A way to make the band sound better. If the trumpets play loud enough, then you can't hear any other mistakes.

Trumpet Player:A person who thinks that every note has 8va written above it.

Trombone: A device that has the same pitch as the baritone, except that it is played with a slide, so it is easier to forget the positions.

Tuba: A compound word; "Hey woman, fetch me another tuba Preparation H!"

Tune: What we do to get most of the band within a half step of each other.


Unison:See minor second.

Valve:A device that sticks during difficult parts of the music or during crucial solos.

Valve Oil:
1) Only one person in the band has it at any given time.
2) A form of currency for brass players.

Vibrato:How to hide that you are out of tune.

Visual:A way of keeping people interested in the marching show. Placed right after a difficult passage so that the judges will forget that the band sucks.

Water Break: Read: water fight.
1) A chance to play football or do headstands on the field.
2) A chance to act like monkeys.

Whining:How to get yourself out sectionals. One slight drawback: you have to run until sectionals are over.

Whispering: How you must talk at attention. Unless a section leader is talking, and then you don't have to be at attention anymore.

Woodwinds:Proof that God has a sense of humor.

Yelling: Something that drum majors do too much of.

So THAT'S What All Those Long, Weird Words Mean!

string quartet: a good violinist, a bad violinist, an ex-violinist, and someone who hates violinists, all getting together to complain about composers.

detaché: an indication that the trombones are to play with their slides removed.

glissando: a technique adopted by string players for difficult runs.

subito piano: indicates an opportunity for some obscure orchestra player to become a soloist.

risoluto: indicates to orchestras that they are to stubbornly maintain the correct tempo no matter what the conductor tries to do.

senza sordino: a term used to remind the player that he forgot to put his mute on a few measures back.

preparatory beat: a threat made to singers, i.e., sing, or else...

crescendo: a reminder to the performer that he has been playing too loudly.

conductor: a musician who is adept at following many people at the same time.

clef: something to jump from before the viola solo.

transposition: the act of moving the relative pitch of a piece of music that is too low for the basses to a point where it is too high for the sopranos.

vibrato: used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch.

half step: the pace used by a cellist when carrying hi instrument.

coloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.

chromatic scale: an instrument for weighing that indicates half-pounds.

bar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two.

ad libitum: a premiere.

beat: what music students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.

cadence: when everybody hopes you're going to stop, but you don't.

diatonic: low-calorie Schweppes.

lamentoso: with handkerchiefs.

virtuoso: a musician with very high morals. (I know one)

music: a complex organizations of sounds that is set down by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor, who is ignored by the musicians, the result of which is ignored by the audience.

oboe: an ill wind that nobody blows good.

tenor: two hours before a nooner.

diminished fifth: an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

perfect fifth: a full bottle of Jack Daniels.

ritard: there's one in every family.

relative major: an uncle in the Marine Corps.

relative minor: a girlfriend.

big band: when the bar pays enough to bring two banjo players.

pianissimo: "refill this beer bottle".

repeat: what you do until they just expel you.

treble: women ain't nothin' but.

bass: the things you run around in softball.

portamento: a foreign country you've always wanted to see.

conductor: the man who punches your ticket to Birmingham.

arpeggio: "Ain't he that storybook kid with the big nose that grows?"

tempo: good choice for a used car.

A 440: the highway that runs around Nashville.


men who wear dresses.

An advanced recorder technique where you change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece

cut time:


when everyone else is playing twice as fast as you are.

order of sharps: what a wimp gets at the bar.

passing tone: frequently heard near the baked beans at family barbecues.

middle C: the only fruit drink you can afford when food stamps are low.

perfect pitch: the smooth coating on a freshly paved road.


that ugly thing your wife always vacuums dog hair off of when company comes.

The heroine in Monteverdi's opera Frottola

whole note: what's due after failing to pay the mortgage for a year.

clef: what you try never to fall off of.

bass clef: where you wind up if you do fall off.

altos: not to be confused with "Tom's toes," "Bubba's toes" or "Dori-toes".

minor third: your approximate age and grade at the completion of formal schooling.

melodic minor: loretta Lynn's singing dad.

12-tone scale: the thing the State Police weigh your tractor trailer truck with.

quarter tone: what most standard pickups can haul.

sonata: what you get from a bad cold or hay fever.

clarinet: name used on your second daughter if you've already used Betty Jo.

cello: the proper way to answer the phone.

french horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.

cymbal: what they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with.

bossa nova: the car your foreman drives.

time signature: what you need from your boss if you forget to clock in.

first inversion: grandpa's battle group at Normandy.

staccato: how you did all the ceilings in your mobile home.

major scale: what you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!"

aeolian mode: how you like Mama's cherry pie.

bach chorale: the place behind the barn where you keep the horses.

plague: a collective noun, as in "a plague of conductors."

audition: the act of putting oneself under extreme duress to satisfy the sadistic intentions of someone who has already made up his mind.

accidentals: wrong notes.

augmented fifth: a 36-ounce bottle.

broken consort: when someone in the ensemble has to leave to go to the bathroom.

cantus firmus: the part you get when you can play only four notes.

chansons de geste: dirty songs.

clausula: Mrs. Santa Claus.


a tritone with a bent prong.

like knitting, but faster.

ducita: a lot of mallards.

embouchure the way you look when you've been playing the Krummhorn.

estampie: what they put on letters in Quebec.

garglefinklein: a tiny recorder played by neums.

hocket: the thing that fits into a crochet to produce a rackett.

interval: how long it takes to find the right note. There are three kinds:

Major interval: a long time.

Minor interval: a few bars.

Inverted interval: when you have to go back a bar and try again.

intonation: singing through one's nose. Considered highly desirable in the Middle Ages.

isorhythmic motet: when half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half.

minnesinger: a boy soprano.

musica ficta: when you lose your place and have to bluff until you find it again.

neums: renaissance midgets.

neumatic melishma: a bronchial disorder caused by hockets.

ordo: the hero in Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.

rota: an early Italian method of teaching music without score or parts.

trotto: an early Italian form of Montezuma's Revenge.

lauda: the difference between shawms and krummhorns.

sancta: Clausula's husband.

lasso: the 6th and 5th steps of a descending scale.

di lasso: popular with Italian cowboys.

quaver: beginning viol class.

rackett: capped reeds class

ritornello: a Verdi opera.

sine proprietate: cussing in church.

supertonic: Schweppes.

trope: a malevolent neum.

tutti: a lot of sackbuts.

stops: something Bach didn't have on his organ.

agnus dei: a famous female church composer.

metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.

allegro: leg fertilizer.

recitative: a disease that Monteverdi had.

transsectional: an alto who moves to the soprano section.

What Marching Band Terms REALLY Mean

Band, Atten-hut!":Bring your instrument to attention position and bring your head back at a slight angle (supposed to be executed by the entire band at the same time, but is it ever?)

"Horns-up":Snap your instrument into playing position, cracking your mouthpiece off of your teeth, or splintering your lip with your reed.

"Band, Parade Rest!":A time of stress relief after a particularly long or lousy performance, as you get to shout "HUH!" at the top of your lungs.

"Left Face, Ready MOVE!":Turn over your left shoulder on count four, promptly smacking into the person next to you who was confused and did a "Right Face". (Similar to "Right Face" and "To the REAR, MOVE!")

Company Front:A giant squiggly line across the field (usually on or near a hash) that causes hours of aggravation while one side of the field argues with the other trying to decide who's in the right place.

Drum Major(s): People you liked a whole lot better beforethey became drum major.

Triplet Step(s):Really fast, stupid looking steps in which you scamper across the field like rabbits on a sugar high.

Cadence:A place for the drummers to show off during parades, etc. A perfect time to get off step as the tempo changes constantly.

Back March:Marching backwards, a ballet-like move. You stay up on your toes, lose your balance, and fall on your butt.

Horn Flash:Tip your head back and point the bell of your instrument into the air. Effective dynamically for trumpets, trombones, and horns. Pretty much useless and a waste of energy for saxes, clarinets, flutes, baritones, etc.

Uniform:A sweaty, stinky piece of clothing that takes several minutes to put on. Also known as "A Full Bladder's Worst Nightmare!"

Musical Maladies

Accelerando sousamentosa:consistent tendency to rush the ends of phrases, particularly in marches.

Accidental hemiola:in sight-reading, when a band unintentionally plays in separate time signatures simultaneously.

Alpha infarction:Poor attack on the first note.

Articulatory amnesia:forgetting correct articulations.

Auditional paralysis: glassy-eyed condition caused by listening to 350 students audition for all-region honors. Also called deja vucosis.

Caneshock:facial redness that occurs when woodwind players use a reed too strong for their embouchures.

CADD (contest attention deficit disorder): during contest season, looking directly at students and not hearing a word they are saying.

Clinical gangrene:condition whereby hand turns green after plating brass instrument for extended periods in a band clinic.

Digital palsy:in woodwind players, extremely tense fingers that rise an inch above the keys in a frozen-like state.

Disease of me: extreme selfishness; usually results in the defeat of us.

Dizzyitis:inflammation of the cheeks while playing a musical instrument.

Draggaria:dragging the trio of a march.

Drill dementia:sudden state of apathy and depression that occurs about halfway (sometimes sooner) through the drill-writing process.

Embou-not-so-chure atrophy:continual weakening of the lips as reed weakens.

Fanny fatigue:soreness from long stretches of sitting on a school bus.

Ferguson's syndrome:light-headedness caused by playing high notes on the trumpet.

Fixophobia:the fear of repairing instruments.

Fundraiser's paranoia:the feeling that people are avoiding you because they think you are going to try to sell them something.

GADD (golf attention deficit disorder):constant daydreaming about golf; particularly acute during the last two weeks before summer vacation.

Gravitational firthitis:the inability to hold onto drumsticks during performances (see also Gravitational mutitis).

Gravitational mutitis:the inability to remove a mute from a brass instrument without dropping it.

Instructionesia:condition whereby a director gets the band's attention only to forget what he is going to say.

KSDD (key signature deficit disorder):consistently missing key signatures; in extreme cases, the sufferer will never even take the time to write in the accidental.

Malsyncrosis: in marching band; also called out-of-stepness.

Niagara hearing impairment:in beginning horn players, the inability to hear condensation gurgling in their horns.

Percussive arrhythmia:continual missing of rhythms in percussion section.

Peripheria:inability to watch the band director while playing.

Quasimodo slumperenza:consistently poor posture.

Solophobia:fear of going to see the band director alone to give him some unpleasant news.

Sympathetic volcanic eruptess:feeling of rage right under the skin the week of contest.

Terrapinesia misicala:intense emotional pain felt by teenagers when performing slow music; particularly intense when music is atonal.

Thompson syndrome:the fear of tightening a Thompson mouthpiece puller too much and destroying a lead-pipe.

Zdechlik fatigue syndrome: extreme tiredness in arms from conducting extended cut time passages in fast four so the band won't drag.

Color Guard: Girls with metal poles, rifles, and sabers...Everything you don't want them to have

The Ten Commandments of Band

I am the Almighty Band Director who brought you through rookie camp and onto this field that we do march on. Thou shalt obey my commandments.

Thou shalt have no other gods before the director.Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven noises or any sounds unlikeness to the music that hath come before thee, or that shall come after thee.Thou shalt not take the name of thy band in vain.Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy practicing, but the seventh day is the sabbath of the band life: In it thou shalt have a concert.Honor thy section leader and thy band director: That thy days many be long in the band, which the Lord thy God giveth thee.Thou shalt not damage thy instrument, nor conspire to murder a player whom is thy superior.Thou shalt not commit to other activities nor put any other task before thy band.Thou shalt not steal sheet music, instruments, or any other item possessed by another member of thy band.Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy stand partner.Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's instrument, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's reed, nor his ligature, nor his mouthpiece, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

FANFICTION- UNITED NATIONS!! Has anyone else noticed how a lot of us get along and make friends on here and we can be from completely different countries? WTF!? We're here making world peace on the INTERNET and we have all those ambassadors and senators and whatever struggling with it!! If you realize this (or read this and agreed) copy and paste this and add your name and country (country is optional) to the list. SPREAD THE PEACE!!: Naruto-fan-Okami-chan (USA), NaraTemari011 (Puerto Rico), Lala girl in Lalaland (USA), Kakashi Forever (England), Ultimate-Apples (Australia),Immortal-Puppet-Otaku (USA), teiaramogami (USA)

1. YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): Suzizzle

2. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): Blue Leopard (OMJ IT'Z MEH PILLOW!!)

3. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Quinn Leland

4. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Chasuwin (ummm IM CHEWBACKAA!!! *gurgle*)

5. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (fav color, fav drink): Blue Diet Pepsi (its the pool water at mini golf places) 0.0

6. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your moms maiden name, 3rd letter of your dads middle name, 1st letter of a siblings first name, last
letter of your moms middle name): Uaqiytn (woo.. major letter wheel action up in here)

7. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mothers middle name): Lynn

8. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): Black Duke ORR Black Little Boi

9. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (fav fruit, and something that can go wrong): Cherry Poison (well poison could go right right??)

10. YOUR PIRATE NAME: (fav color, pirate accessory): Blue Earring

If you're one of those people who get excited when you get 2 reveiws copy and paste this into your profile!

If you're really random copy and paste this into your file!

i luv blonde jokes!!!
maybe b/c i am one...

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.

A little blonde girl comes back from school one evening.
She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count. Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10! It's good, innit?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.
"Is that because I'm blonde?" she asks.
"Yes, darling, it's because you're blonde." The mom says.
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D, but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K! It's good, innit?"
"Yes, darling, very good." Answers the mom.
"Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?" she asks.
"Yes, darling it's because you're blonde." The mom says.
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming. Well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!" She proceeds to flash her impressive 36D at her mummy. "Is that because I'm blonde, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”

To which she replied, “There certainly is!”

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”

A blonde has just gotten a new sports car. She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff. The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does. The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it. Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats. He turns around and sees she's smiling. So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car. He looks back to see that she's laughing. He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires. He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down. He demands, "What's so funny?" She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"

There were 11 people holding onto a rope that came down from a plane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping.

A blond, a brunette, and a redhead were trying out for a new NASA experiment on sending women to different planets. First, they called the brunette in and asked her a question.

"If you could go to any planet, what planet would you want to go to and why?"

After pondering the question she answered, "I would like to go to Mars because it seems so interesting with all the recent news about possible extra terrestrial life on the planet."

They said "well okay, thank you." And told her that they would get back to her.

Next, the redhead entered the room and the NASA people asked her the same question. In reply, "I would like to go to Saturn to see all of its rings." Again, "thank you" and they would get back to her.

Finally, the blond entered the room and they asked her the same question they asked the brunette and the redhead. She thought for a while and replied, "I would like to go to the sun."

The people from NASA replied, "why, don't you know that if you went to the sun you would burn to death?"

The blond smirked and put her hands on her hips. "Are you guys dumb? I'd go at night!"

A blonde, brunette and red head escaped from jail. They were being chased by the police. They were running through the streets when they saw an old barn. So they ran in and found three heshin bags. They all jumped in.

The coppers walked in the barn and saw the three heshin bags.
One copper goes to the other "Kick the heshin bags to make sure nothing's in them"

So the copper walks up to the heshin bag with the brunette and kicked it.

The brunette said "Meow Meow" and the coppers thought it was a cat and walked to the next heshin bag.

The copper kicked the second heshin bag with the red head in it.
The red head said "Woof Woof" so the coppers walked to the third heshin bag thinking a dog was in the second one.

The copper kicked the third heshin bag with the blonde in it.
And the blonde said "Potatoes".

How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?
A .. Knock on the door.

Q .. Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A .. The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

Q .. What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A .. A blonde at a blinking red light.

Q .. What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A .. A blonde parade.

Q .. What is the blonde's highest ambition in life?
A .. They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Q .. What are the six worst years in a blonde's life.
A .. Third grade.

Q .. What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
A .. You keep hearing about them, but never see any.

Q .. How to you keep a blonde busy all day?
A .. Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

Q .. What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A .. Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Pick 12 characters (Including OC's)

1. Beast Boy

2. Raven

3. Aragorn (LOTR)

4. Legolas (and his sexy a*sh elf ears *drools uncontrollably*)

5. Stark (hey hey you! wanna nock your arrow in my bow??)

6. Draco (sexy blonde ash!!)

7. Adrian (i wanna party with this guy!!)

8. Mirror (old OC ) ((WHY ARE THE WORDS ITALICED??))

9. Richard (from the Balefire series) *Richard pops up* Me: hey Richard!! *SLAP!* Richard: its REE-shard!! Me: pulls out a spoon and makes a rather rude motion of shoving it up a certain place that spoons cough-giant steak knife - cough should be shoved

10. Gale (he just sounds so kewl!!!) (th arrow joke applies for yew to hun.) *wink*

11. Finnick (he sounds so awesome! i mean who doesnt love a 30 yr old walkin around in a loin cloth)

12. Frodo (was forced to put this on here by my alternate self) hehehe lies...

1) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

Draco Malfoy/Finnick noo but its sounds awesome!!! drools over they sexy blonde ness

2) Do you think Four is hot? How hot?

YES!!!! HOW COULD YOU EVEN ASK THAT !! besides his ears aren't the only thing about him that's pointy *wink*

3) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

NO!!! Frodo i know Middle Earth was under siege for hundreds of years but that doesnt give you an excuse to not use condoms!!

4) Do you recall any fics about Nine
no actually at least i haven't hehe.. looked yet *ducks as a giant tree is thrown at me* how could you not.. MOVING ON!!

5) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

Draco: Hey mudblood ! yes i do actually *sniffs and looks all superior*

Me: *runs up to him and pants him*


6) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?
Stark/Richard or Stark/Gale

Stark Gale they both have pokey and fast weapons

7) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Adrian walked i on Raven and Frodo .. well knowing Adrian he'd probably piush off Frodo and just keeping going where Frodo left off.

8) Make up a summary of a Three/Ten fic.

Aragorn meets Gale and they discover they only have an hour to live because of the deadly ninja virus so they have sex in the woods, and then after hours and hours of sexy yaoi loving they discover ... that they are SOUL MATES!!! so they get married until Aragorn finds out he's actually bi and cheats on Gale with Katniss and they have babies and so Gale gets mad and kills all of them and then himself..

wooh deep stuff man

9) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff?

not that i know of

Beast Boy/Mirror if there is then YOU STOLE MY MIRROR GIVE HIM BACK!! *pulls Mirror so hard that he breaks his penis*

10) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.


Of Beer & Rings

wow that was lame..

12) Does anyone of your friends read Three het?

yes yes they do (totally doesnt no what het is is guessing hentai)

if myself counts as a friend then yes i do

13) Does anyone of your friends write or draw Eleven?

nope he all lonely *hey Finnick want some Chunky Monkey Suga??*

14) Would anyone of your friends write Two/Four/Five ?

no no they wouldnt altho hmmm... the plot bunny has found m!! (not really)

15) What might ten scream at a moment of great passion?

I feel like shooting something!!!


my arrow just came out and went straight into your sheath

ewww.. now i feel nasty 0.0

16) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

I'm Sexy and I Know It




Not a




17) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

Beast Boy/Draco/Frodo



18) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?


Go out with me or you'll get SHOT!!! AND DIE!!!

19) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Two." What title would you give this fic?

Beast Boy and Richard are in a happy relationship until Richard suddenly runs off with Legolas. Beast Boy brokenhearted has a hot one night stand with Finnick and a brief unhappy affair with Frodo, then follows the wise advice of Stark and finds true love with Raven.

Title - umm how bout..

I thought i was gay but then she came


the one that turned me straight

11) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

Legolas to deflower Beast Boy .. wait i thought beast boy turned into animals??

Post any other random questions

Just one word...

Meh..\ Eep! / Reh..

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Horror Collection by arcanicEmbers reviews
"The Sins of the Father will be visited upon the children." Once, a long time ago, there was a man with blood on his hands. The family's of his victims took his life in payment. One life, however, could not satisfy their lust for vengeance. And so they placed a curse, that one member for each generation of his family would suffer. Once, not so long ago, there was a girl named Faye.
Crossover - A Nightmare on Elm Street & Friday the 13th - Rated: T - English - Horror/Humor - Chapters: 24 - Words: 170,395 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 63 - Follows: 53 - Updated: 4/22/2016 - Published: 5/29/2010
What If? by nictophilia reviews
What if Raven didn't join the Teen Titans? What if things turned out the other way? She was born of Evil's fire. She was never meant to be a hero. But when a loophole of a deal sealed between her and Trigon gets exploited, and tables get turned, the only option she has is to fight for her life as well as Earth with a lover, and four friends. Slaven, slight BBxRae.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 26 - Words: 38,929 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 1/24/2016 - Published: 6/10/2011 - Raven, Slade
Primeval by Xaphrin reviews
The beast has branded Raven for its mate, but she refuses to believe that he can claim her. Can Beast Boy convince her that she is the one to satiate him? Or will reason rule over love?
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 13 - Words: 64,264 - Reviews: 670 - Favs: 1,168 - Follows: 690 - Updated: 9/7/2014 - Published: 3/6/2011 - [Beast Boy, Raven] - Complete
Guided By A Star by Herald-MageAnduli reviews
SLASH!Mpreg! SBHP! Harry is falsely convicted of murdering Ginny. He's also been in a secret relationship with Sirius. Add into the mix one special boy born in Azkaban& you get…a typical mess as only Harry can get into! NOT the usual break-out-of-Azkaban fic! Beware the cute and cuddly OC named Polaris Black. READ full summary and warnings! COMPLETE 1/28/13!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 30 - Words: 61,628 - Reviews: 511 - Favs: 1,572 - Follows: 1,038 - Updated: 1/28/2013 - Published: 11/29/2010 - Sirius B., Harry P. - Complete
Paradise Lost by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue reviews
With one question posed to the Sorting Hat, Harry Potter's life changes completely.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 20 - Words: 96,214 - Reviews: 1772 - Favs: 4,797 - Follows: 5,398 - Updated: 3/23/2012 - Published: 1/20/2011 - Voldemort, Harry P.
I Dare You To by Mizuki San reviews
"When you smile, I smile." She snorted in response, "When you smile, I frown." A dare is made, and Malfoy didn't like it one bit. It was either this one, or licking Goyle's arse. And losing, was no option.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 21,410 - Reviews: 246 - Favs: 94 - Follows: 170 - Updated: 1/29/2012 - Published: 7/10/2011 - Draco M., Hermione G.
Be My Sky by stephenherondale reviews
Everything has changed after the second round in the Hunger Games. With Peeta gone, Katniss finds herself falling for the one person she'd never thought she'd lay eyes on and he's falling for her too. But will time let them be happy?
Hunger Games - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 4 - Words: 4,315 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 9/27/2011 - Published: 3/16/2011 - Finnick O., Katniss E.
Mind and Body by grahamgarrett.powerofanime reviews
In a world where comic books chronicle real events, but are marketed as fiction, no one can tell if such things as aliens, superheroes, mutants or monsters truly exist. However, enough eyes and minds have been opened to the possibility that strange and surprising consequences begin to take hold. Can Rachel Roth survive on her own in a world defined by the unknown? Will she have to?
Teen Titans - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 76,876 - Reviews: 99 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 9/1/2011 - Published: 6/11/2009 - [Beast Boy, Raven] Jinx
Can't Be Tamed by Faith-o-saurus reviews
We all know the Titans fight crime but that can't take up all of their day, right? Now let's look at the times when they're not all busy. A series of drabbles. R/S, BB/R, Cy/Sarah. Completed.
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 100 - Words: 65,997 - Reviews: 1061 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 81 - Updated: 8/13/2011 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Complete
An Accidental Kiss by kaleissi reviews
During a battle with ght, Raven is shoved into Beastboy causing them to kiss. Both of them felt a feeling that they have never felt before. Raven denies it, but Beastboy knows that something is there and he wants to kiss her again. So, how will he?
Teen Titans - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 5,862 - Reviews: 150 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 52 - Updated: 7/11/2011 - Published: 6/18/2011 - Beast Boy, Raven - Complete
Fears by xXHeart of GoldXx reviews
Raven knows everyone's fear, but Starfire's remains a mystery. So one day, Raven asks her what her real fear is on the rooftop of Titan's Tower.
Teen Titans - Rated: K+ - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,414 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 38 - Follows: 7 - Published: 7/11/2011 - Raven, Starfire - Complete
Immortal In Love by Charla234 reviews
Roman is handsome, charming and is in love with Ever. Too bad she is in love with Damen. He has to use all of his charm to win her over but will it work? DISCONTINUED
Immortals series, Alyson Noel - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,616 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 6/21/2011 - Published: 5/15/2011 - Ever B. - Complete
The Depths of Desire by The Writer0214 reviews
Only time -fathoms below will decide...this is the story of Syrena and Philip – a story of most innocent and wondrous love- a story that will claim you- heart and soul... My first POTC fic! Please Read & Review! Thanks!
Pirates of the Caribbean - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 567 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 6 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Philip, Syrena
The Naming of Albus Severus Potter by BelleRosetteMontague reviews
Just a short one-shot about Harry and Ginny choosing what to name their second son!
Harry Potter - Rated: K - English - Family/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 567 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
like the stars love the moon by ink-stained dreams reviews
"They always knew, right from the start." The love story of Narcissa and Lucius Malfoy. one-shot
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,671 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 41 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/16/2011 - Narcissa M., Lucius M. - Complete
The Games We Play by C.K.isback reviews
Everyone has something to get rid of the pain. Katniss, Peeta, Gale, Johanna, Finnick, Haymitch. Everyone. So step right up and pick your poison.
Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 190 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 3 - Published: 5/14/2011 - Katniss E., Finnick O. - Complete
From the Mouth of the Band by KyF777 reviews
This is going to be just REALLY random quotes, short conversations, or just funny moments that happen throughout my high school years in band! :D
Marching Band - Rated: T - English - Humor/Friendship - Chapters: 3 - Words: 466 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 5/5/2011 - Published: 4/13/2011
Chemicals React by PsychoticVampire reviews
Super angsty one-shot ending with tragedy. Ever is depressed about the whole non-touching thing with Damon.
Immortals series, Alyson Noel - Rated: T - English - Angst/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 436 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/2/2011 - Ever B., Damen A. - Complete
One Eye Blind by iNinjax reviews
Sephira is the new girl at Ever's school. She struggles with a very intimidating handicap, and is trying to seem normal despite this. But when a very mysterious blond named Roman enters her life...things change. Dramatically.
Immortals series, Alyson Noel - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,599 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 4/24/2011 - Published: 4/10/2011
Megabuttmen by Madhog thy Master reviews
In this episode: Captain Kirk fights bad grammar and Internet clichès, D-X goes war, too many Avatars and Kratos goes to Ponyville... and many more!
Robot Chicken - Rated: T - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,426 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 4/20/2011 - Published: 1/11/2010
deadly by ink-stained dreams reviews
Their love is wrong in seven ways. Draco&Ginny freeverse
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 904 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/13/2011 - Draco M., Ginny W. - Complete
Aseptic Vitality by Unwritten.25 reviews
ABANDONED. SLASH. AU. On the run from the wizarding world, Remus and Harry end up in Forks, Washington. Just what happens when they meet the mysterious Cullen family? Twilight/HP crossover.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 81,545 - Reviews: 1015 - Favs: 1,707 - Follows: 2,428 - Updated: 1/14/2011 - Published: 11/2/2008 - Harry P., Edward
Mr Burns' Karma by Captain Alaska reviews
Included: Mr. Burns gets his last chance at remembering Homer Simpson's name. Also, Dante's Peak's alternate ending, and Bigfoot goes Shopping!
Robot Chicken - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 367 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/23/2010 - Complete
King of the hill Vs The Simpsons by Captain Alaska reviews
Parodies Included: Total Drama Island, King of the Hill, Jaws and many more
Robot Chicken - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 243 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/21/2010 - Complete
Politics and Star Wars by Captain Alaska reviews
My first Robot Chicken fanfic.
Robot Chicken - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 335 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/2/2010 - Complete
Obsessed with The Hunger Games? by junbug24 reviews
How to know if you have an obsession to Hunger Games.
Hunger Games - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 490 - Reviews: 202 - Favs: 121 - Follows: 11 - Published: 9/7/2010 - Complete
Like You by Voldemort's Spawn reviews
I long to be like you, lie cold in the ground like you... That was why he lied.
Shutter Island - Rated: K+ - English - Tragedy/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,190 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 9 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Complete
Emily's closet by SuiJi reviews
The events of the house in the country behind them, Katherine and Emily have settled into their new lives together. But does the game of hide and seek ever really end or is Charlie just waiting? Oneshot
Hide and Seek - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Mystery - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,387 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 9 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/7/2010 - Complete
Paradise Lost by Callista reviews
Draco Malfoy tells the heartbreaking story of his one love and her downfall.Rated R for scenes of smut, violence, and rape.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 7,374 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 11/2/2005 - Published: 8/10/2004 - Draco M., Hermione G.
The Joys of Sexual Education by Roslyn Drycof reviews
Seventh years must take sexual education, and GryffSlyth has Snape and McGonagall as their teachers. Students must be paired up to complete a final project. Harry and Draco hate theirs, but must do it or fail. HD, sim. mpreg
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 24,086 - Reviews: 697 - Favs: 1,817 - Follows: 348 - Updated: 2/26/2005 - Published: 2/9/2005 - Harry P., Draco M. - Complete
Vampire Love by sorrow angel reviews
Draco is a vampire and finds out who his mate is. Who else but Harry Potter.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 10,061 - Reviews: 226 - Favs: 548 - Follows: 143 - Updated: 6/24/2004 - Published: 6/16/2004 - Draco M., Harry P. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hope, Strength, and Vigilantes reviews
So Supergirl has powers? So Batgirl has cool gadgets? So what? Who said normal girls like us couldn't be superheroes? Oh yeah...the freakin government. Well, they've got a thing comin. Cause we've got the Kick. And we're aimin staight for evil's Ass.
Kick-Ass - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,313 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 3/25/2012 - Christopher G./Red Mist, Dave L./Kick-Ass
Only For Money reviews
Suzette is a blood whore. She allows grown vampires, fledglings, and the occasional red fledgling to drink from her, in exchange for money. When she meetes one man who she can't stop thinking about, will she give up her blood whore-ish ways? OC Story
House of Night - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,329 - Reviews: 3 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 9/4/2011 - Published: 8/27/2011 - J. Stark