HOAdragonfly
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Joined 05-06-11, id: 2901355, Profile Updated: 03-14-12
Author has written 9 stories for Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis.

BE prepared to be totally blown away by my awesome profile :)


Really Dumb Store labels:

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Too late!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (As night follows day . . .)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (One would hope.)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash.)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets"

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping."

Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness"

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark"

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe."

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe."

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain."

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping"

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap"

Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving sugestion: Defrost"


Random QUIZZES


Body: Okay this is called “FIRST REACTIONS QUIZ”. I have reacted to being sent this by actually filling this out. You have to type the 1ST thing that comes to mind whenever you hear these 35 things. You can’t think and go back and change your answers. Copy and Paste, then delete answers to make them your own.

1. Beer: drunk

2. Anorexic: puke

3. Relationships: AWESOME!

4. Purple: ME!

5. Power Rangers: eeewwwwww

6. Weed: bad

7. Steroids: baseball (idk)

8. Cartoons: avatar

9. The President: bad

10. Tupperware: jelly yummy

11. Best vacation: HAWAII!!!

12. Santa Claus: who believes in that anymore?

13. Halloween: BOO!

14. Bon Jovi: OLDIE!

15. Grammar: What the heck?

16. Facebook: Dont have 1

17. Worst fear: THE WORLD ENDING IN 2012 EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKk

18. Marriage: Awww, if only it was as great as it sounds.

19. Paris Hilton: WHO?

21. Redhead: Claire!

22. Blonde: Amber house of anubis...

23. Pass the time: writing! duh

24. One night stands: no thank you

25. Donald Trump: Running for prez?

26. Neverland: okay last time i heard that was when i was like... what... six?

27. Pixie Sticks: SUGAR HYPE!

28. Vanilla ice cream: ICE CREAM!

29. High School: Lots of people...

30. Work: Have none!

31. Pajamas: whatever im wearing for pajamas...

32. Woods: aahhhh animals.

33. Wet Sock: again... WHAT THE HECK?

34. Alcohol: BLECH!

35. Love: :) rather not say


Okay now 100 questions lol

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

'"yes," phoebe said'

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?

My parrots cage

Before you started this survey, what were you doing?

texting

What is the last thing you watched on TV?

Spongebob Squarepants its on right now

Without looking, guess what time it is

7:24pm

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?

7:42pm (so close just switch the #s...)

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

tv

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?

its like 20 degrees outside and i had to go get the mail in my tshirt. COLD!!!

Did you dream last night?

Yes!

Do you remember your dreams?

yeah it was so funny, i was in the social studies room and i was leaving class but the social studies teacher kept me after class to look over my report or something. When we finished i looked at the clock and language arts was almost over and i was like "oh my gosh im gonna be late!" so the social studies teacher wrote me a note then sent me to language art class. There was this kindergartener and she wouldnt go away untill i got to class. So in language arts everyone was making clay bowls, which is wierd coz that is what we were doing in art class that week... anyways i handed the note to the language arts teacher and she looked at it and said "Thats okay." then she looked around and there was this guy named Charlie working on a bowl that looked like a turtle and the language arts teacher ran to him yelling "no! charlie! your doing it all wrong!" haha it was funny.

When did you last laugh?

what are you talking about i have been laughing nonstop for the past... 0 seconds?

Do you remember why / at what?

no

What is on the walls of the room you are in?

im bored. next quesion?

Seen anything weird lately?

My friend, does that count?

What do you think of this quiz?

i dont know i have done about 10 of these today.

What is the last film you saw?

Who watches films anymore.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

RIGHT WHERE IM AT!

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

save it like a smart person :) but really... a truck :)

Tell me something about you that most people don't know.

umm im an open book really.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

I would change half of the words that comeout of my mouth when i talk to someone whos incredibly cute. i mean i could win americas funniest home videos with that gold.

Do you like to dance?

LOVE 2! but i cant dance im terrible :)

Would you ever consider living abroad?

What?

Does your name make any interesting anagrams?

Madi... nope,

Who made the last incoming call on your phone?

From my friend.

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

shake it up song for that dance contest... dont ask i was bored.

Last time you swam in a pool?

june.

Type of music you like most?

Rock all the way!

Type of music you dislike most?

Rap.

Are you listening to music right now?

yes.

What color is your bedroom carpet?

If i could see it i would tell. no haha its liek a greenish brown.

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?

MAKE IT BIGGER!

What was the last thing you bought?

My parrot... hes annoying.

Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?

NO.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?

Bungee Jumping.

Do you have a garden?

No

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

Yes!

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?

Is it early? or should i go back to sleep.

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?

Justin bieber so i can 'accidently' spill my lunch on him.

Who sent the last text message you received?

sofie

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Jc penny... rue 21... excetera.

What time is bed time?

Whenever.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?

EWW! No!

How many tattoos do you have?

None...I'm 13!

If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?

Yea.

What did you do for your last birthday?

4got...

Do you carry a donor card?

what? i dont even carry a library card!

Who was the last person you ate dinner with?

My family?

Is the glass half empty or half full?

What i would really like to know is WHOS DRINKING OUTTA MY WATER GLASS?

What's the farthest-away place you've been?

pensilvania!

When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

Awhile ago!

Have you ever won a trophy?

Yup!

Are you a good cook?

Yea!

Do you know how to pump your own gas?

no. Thats what the people who work at the gas stations are for, right?

If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?

OMG OMG adam... wait for it... LAMBERT!!! haha he is soooooo awesome. i love his hair.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?

No and im so glad i never have!

Do you touch-type?

What?

What's under your bed?

NOTHING! nothing illegal or anything... heh heh heh.(laughes nervously)

Do you believe in love at first sight?

YES!

Think fast, what do you like right now?

Someone.

Where were you on Valentine's day?

at school.

What time do you get up?

5:50 am!

What was the name of your first pet?

I dont know!

Who is the second to last person to call you?

Mikayla

Is there anything going on this weekend?

yawn.

How are you feeling right now?

Tired

What do you think about the most?

ummm nothing...

What time do you get up in the morning?

5:50 AM

If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?

A longggggggggg time! so about 2 min.

Who would you tell first?

eh whoevers within earshot.

What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?

i dont know! oh right... pirates of the carribian.

Do you sing in the shower?

nah i sing worse than a tone deaf walrus.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?

Didn't I already do this question?

What do you do most when you are bored?

nothing.

What do you do for a living?

nothing.

Do you love your job?

No.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I am still growing up.

If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?

an artist! or a writer. or a forensic scientist or a field agent like NCIS

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

I hate this question! I don't know...the egg?

How many keys on your key ring?

I don't have any keys.

Where would you retire to?

Somewhere. I don't know right now!

What kind of car do you drive?

...I'm 13!

What are your best physical features?

My eyes!

What are your best characteristics?

I dont wanna sound self absorbed or anything... EVERYTHING! jk

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?

:) England!

What kind of books do you like to read?

Anything realistic fiction, or mystery!

Where would you want to retire to?

N/A

What is your favorite time of the day?

Nighttime

Where did you grow up?

o.O stalker

How far away from your birthplace do you live now?

I am still here!

What are you reading now?

This quiz!

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Night Owl!

Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

No, but I am very close.

Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?

Yes

Do you have pets?

2 cats 2 birds (MOMO STOP CHEWING ON THE MOUSE!) hes my parrot BTW

How many rings before you answer the phone?

eh 10. its fun to drive ppl nuts.

What is your best childhood memory?

i dont know!

What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?

None. Don't you understand that I am only 13.

Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?

I know someone that you can search online and actually come up with something! isnt that great!

What is most important in life?

Being successful and being with the one you love.

100. What Inspires You?

that i can look forward to a nights sleep every day.


This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite.

IF YOU IGNORE THIS WITHOUT READING IT YOU HAVE NO HEART...BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART.


1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or kickball with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do.
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone (fun fun)
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at people
89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it.
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth


Hey you! I know you're just dying to do this!!

1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex.

2. Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, and green, yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so, scroll down

(Don’t cheat--)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completely in love with this person.

2. If you choose:

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservative and aggressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the ones you

Love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are

Down.

3. If you’re initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to

Blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you

Fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but

The memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experience a major life

Changing experience for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your

Soul mate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on a different direction; it will seem hard at the time

But will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do

Anything for you, but you may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. This is how many close friends you have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose...
California: You like adventure.
Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...
Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.
Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come true before your next birthday!


These are a hundred random questions!

1) Are you in a relationship with somebody? not anymore...

2) Do you hate more than 3 people? Who doesnt?

3) How many houses have you lived in? 4!

4) Favorite candy bar? Crunch!

5) Favorite shoes? neon converse!

6) Have you ever tripped someone? Proud to say that yes!

9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? No and I never want to.

10) Have you ever thrown up in public? Nope!

11) Name one thing that is always on your mind. Mmmmm... My crush. Or the radio that is constantly playing the songs i dont necisarily love in my head over and over :P

12) Favorite genre of music? rock! or pop. Or punk.

13) What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn!

14) What time were you born? 12:01 PM

15) Do you like beer? No

16) Ever made a prank phone call? Tried. Failed. Never again.

17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? Who has cds anymore?

18) Are you sarcastic? NOOOOO... (see what i did there? sarcasim.)

19) What are your favorite colors? Blue, green, black, purple.

20) How many watches do you own? I dont own a watch, and im proud of it!

21) Summer or winter? Summer! You cant do anything during winter!

23) Favorite color to wear? blue.

24) Pepsi or Sprite? Pepsi!

25) What color is your cell phone? neon blue!

26) Where is your second home? school.

27) Have you ever slapped someone? Yes!

28) Have you ever had a cavity? umm ya...

29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? If you count all the lights on the lamp... 4.

30) How many video games do you own? i cant even count. But the ones that are actually MINE and not my bros that i actually play? 1.

31) What was your first pet? A cat.

32) Ever had braces? No, but I'm getting them.

33) Do looks matter? sometimes.

34) Do you use chapstick? Yea. Its better than lipgloss!

35) Name 3 teachers from your High School: Im not in highschool!

36) American Eagle or Abercombie? IDK!

37) Are you too forgiving? Sometimes.

38) How many children do you want? 1, perferably none.

39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? No.

40) Favorite breakfast meal? MMmmmm pancakes.

41) Do you own a gun? No and I do not trust my self with anything sharp, pointy, and/or dangerous

42) Ever thought you were in love? Good question. Im not gonna answer. IM 14!!!

43) When was the last time you cried? a long time ago

44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Who keeps track of that stuff??? idk.

45) Olive Garden? La Panera? I guess Olive Garden cuz I've never heard of the other one.

46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? NO.

47) Have you ever been in a castle? No

48) Nicknames? Madi

49) Do you know anyone named Bertha? No

50) Ever been to Kentucky? No

51) Do you own something from Banana Republic? I dunno.

52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Mmmmmhmmmmm...

53) Have you ever called someone Boo? Well, not unless you count when i was a ghost for halloween!

55) Do you own a diamond ring? I WISH.

56) Are you happy with your life right now? Right now, im perfectly content with my life.

57) Do you dye your hair? Its like a light brownish red and im getting pink underneath it.

58) Does anyone like you? Like as a friend or more? yeah i hope so.

59) What year were you born? 1997!

60) What were you doing in May of 1994? I wasnt born.

61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? No

62) McDonalds or Wendys? McDonalds!

63) Do you like yourself? Yes, but not to the point where I'm conceited.

64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Mother

65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? Eyes. Its fun to lose yourself in there eyes... But its hard to pick. Is everything an option?

66) Are you afraid of the dark? sorta.

67) Have you ever eaten paste? No

68) Do you own a webcam? One is built into my compute!

69) Have you ever stripped? NO!! Well... not counting showering and changing but other than that no.

70) Ever broke a bone? yea... i ran across a teniss court and broke my ankle. Stupid me. I was just running! my friends joke that i tripped on the lines painted on the court... and my finger is possibly broken right now...

72) Do you chat on AIM often? No... what is that?

73) Pringles or Lays? Neither! i dont eat chips unless theyre salt and vinegar.

74) Have you ever broken someone's heart? I don't know! i think maybe, but it would have been unintenionly!

75) Rugrats or Doug? Eww neither.

76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Brady bunch!!

77) Did you like your high school guidence counselor? Dont have 1!

78) Has anyone ever called you fat? NO! im SKINNY! not anorexic, iv always been thin.

80) Do you own a car? No

81) Can you cook? Yeah

82) 3 things that annoy you:

1. Mean, popular girls who think they're all that

2. Lauren... she irks me.

3. Boys who think there so cute when there so NOT! ( I wouldnt care if they were cute, just when there not.)

83) Do you text message often? OH YEAH. my mom got mad at me coz i went ova my limit :P

84) Money or love? Love. Deffinatly love.

85) Do you have any scars? A few on my knee.

86) What do you want more than anything right now? actually, nothing.

87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Depends.

88) This question was deleted by me for scary inappropriatness! Sorry, it had to be done.

89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Juicy Fruit

90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Sometimes, when im in the mood.

91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? No. I haven't even seen one. But I do know the song. It's the eye of the tiger!

92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yes

94) Who was the last person that said they loved you? My mom!!!!!

95) Who was the last person that made you mad? My brother.

96) Who was the last person that made you cry? My enemie jona(shes a grl)

97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? My friend Abby

98) Who was the last person that you fell for? well... due to the fact someone i know might read this im not telling

99) Who was the last person that instant messaged you? Cole

100) Who was the last person that called you? Abby and Janelle


YOUR GUY SIDE:

~You love hoodies.

~You love jeans.

~Dogs are better than cats.

~It's hilarious when people get hurt.

~Youve played with/against boys on a team

~Shopping is torture.
~Sad movies suck. I cry easily sometimes... even though people have barely even see me cry..
~You own/ed a xbox 360.
~Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
~You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
~You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
~You watch sports on TV.
~Gory movies are cool.
~You go to your dad for advice.(about some stuff)
~You own like a trillion baseball caps.
~You like going to high school football games.
~You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
~Baggy pants are cool to wear.

~It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
~Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think
~Sports are fun
~Talk with food in your mouth
~Sleep with your socks on

TOTAL: 15

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

~You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
~You love to shop.(for certain things like books and boots)
~You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink
~Go to your mom for advice.
~You consider cheerleading a sport
You hate wearing the color black.(GASP)

~You like hanging out at the mall. (FOOD COURT!)
~You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
~You like wearing jewelry
~Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe (I don't even have any... oh wow...)

~Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
~You don't like the movie Star Wars. ~You were in gymnastics/dance?
~It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
~You smile a lot more than you should.

~You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
~You care about what you look like. ~You like wearing dresses when you can.
~You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
~You love the movies.
~Used to play with dolls as little kid. ~Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
~Like being the star of every thing

TOTAL: 12!


Loser
[ ] You don't have very many friends.
[ ] Often times, teachers forget your name.
[x] You were always picked last for kickball.
[ ] You don't like to talk a lot.
[ ] You tend to avoid mass social activities
[ ] You don't participate in any extracurricular activities.
[ ] All you wish for is to move away or get a fresh start.
[ ] Your friends have blown you off before.
[ ] You sit alone in most of your classes.
[ ] You have a feeling that once you leave high school or college, nobody is going to remember you.
[ ] You hold interest in activities that other people find strange.
[ ] People don't find you friendly.
[ x] You hold extreme hate towards another high school stereotype.
[ ] You eat alone at lunch.

Total= 2

Prep

[ ] You pop the collar
[ ] You won't go near the Goths
[ ] You own at least one thing from a designer store.
[ ] You are very clean cut.
[x] You are squeamish.
[ ] People have called you preppy before.
[x] You never leave the house without putting on cologne/perfume
[ ] You have a lot of money.
[ ] You know who LC is.
[ ] You watch shows like The OC, The Real World, The Hills, and Laguna Beach.
[ ] One favorite store is either Abercrombie & Fitch or American Eagle Outfitters.
[ ] You're afraid to set foot into Hot Topic.
[ ] You carry a purse wherever you go.
[x] You need to wake up at least an hour before school so you can get ready.
[x] You do not leave the house without make up.
[x] You feel really girly when you gush over male actors.

Total = 5

Band Geek
[ ] You have played an instrument before.
[ ] You still play an instrument.

[ ] You are/were in regular Band.
[ ] You are/were in Jazz Band.
[ ] You are/were in Marching Band.
[ ] Most of your friends are in band.
[ ] The band room/band hall is your second home.
[ ] You enjoy listening to classical music on occasion.
[ ] You aspire to be a Drum Major.
[ ] You've made out with somebody on a band bus or at a band competition.
[ ] You have trouble getting your non-band friends to go near the band room.
[ ] Band is your favorite class.
[ ] You have been to band camp.
[ ] You walk in step with all your friends.
[ ] You talk about band constantly.
[ ] You know that American Pie has got it all wrong.
[x] You hate rap music.

[ ] Marching Season is your favorite time of year.
[ ] When you go to football games, you don't really pay attention to the game itself.
[ ] Your favorite jokes are band jokes.
[ ] You know it's not about the bloods and the crips: it's the brass and the woodwinds.

Total = 1

Thespian
[x] You have seen a school play.
[ ] You have seen a Broadway musical.
[x] You like to act.
[ ] You have participated in a school play.
[x] You have participated in a play outside of school.
[ ] You have gone to the Thespian Conference
[ ] You get pissed off when people make that thespian, did you say lesbian joke?
[ ] You have done tech.
[ ] You know that you cannot touch anybody else's props.
[ ] You have played in the pit orchestra for a musical.
[ ] You have been to a cast party.
[ ] You are in a thespian troupe.
[ ] You often sing show tunes at the top of your lungs.
[ ] You know who Idina Menzel and Johnathan Larson are.
[x] At one point in your life, you were obsessed
[ ] You do not have a personal bubble.
[ ] You actually understand Shakespeare.
[ ] You know how to put on stage make up.
[ ] You have been a lead.
[ ] You met a lot of your better friends through theatre.

Total = 4

Overachiever
[ ] You participate in a lot of extracurricular activities.
[ ] You have a part-time job.
[ ] You have straight A's.
[x] You are in mostly honors/IB/AP classes.(IB)

[ ] You do not procrastinate.
[ ] You have scored a 5 on an AP test.
[ ] You do not have very much down time.
[ ] You are very organized.
[ ] You always have a thousand things going on at once.
[ ] You are in a relationship. (what does that have to do with anything?)
[ ] You aspire to get into an Ivy League School.
[ ] In your extracurriculars, you hold leadership positions.

[ ] You are/were on Student Council. (Blah)

[ ] You are/were the class president. (Blah)
[ ] You are/were a class officer. (Blah)
[ ] You are/were the Salutatorian for your class.
[ ] You are/were the Valedictorian for your class.
[ ] People have told you that you didn't have a life.
[ ] You are getting/have already received the IB Diploma.
[ ] You cry hysterically when you get anything lower than an A on anything. (...A-?)

Total = 1

Goth
[ ] Your wardrobe consists of mostly black things. (Blueee
[ ] When you have the money, you shop at Hot Topic.
[ ] You think tattoos are hot. (it depends on the tat)
[ ] You think odd piercings are hot.
[ ] You don't get along with your parents.
[x ] You have/want to dyed/dye your hair an exotic color(Blue streak of hair!)
[ ] You've styled your hair in liberty spikes.
[ ] Sometimes you ponder the meaning of life and death.
[ ] You like to write dark poetry.
[ ] You are into/interested in S&M. (...? Isn't that a song by Rihanna? ...OHHHHH NO.)
[ ] You have a pair of oversized black pants.
[ ] At one point in your life, you liked Foamy, Happy Bunny, Emily the Strange, and the Happy Tree Friends. (WTF)
[ ] You listen to grunge.
[ ] You have a messenger bag with buttons up and down the straps.
[ ] You smoke cigarettes.
[ ] You will only date other Goths.
[x] You don't really care what people think about you.
[ ] Overly happy people scare you.
[x ] You like black makeup & nail polish best.

Total = 3

Nerd
[x] You actually study for tests and quizzes.
[ ] You have straight A's.
[ ] You haven't had any luck with the opposite sex. (Dang my age)
[ ] You are into WoW, Magic Cards, and Halo. (...? WoW?...oh wait nvm...)
[ ] You over-analyze jokes to the point where they aren't funny anymore.
[ ] Your mom buys your clothes for you.
[ ] You actually answer the questions in class. (Nope, I'm the one that prays that I won't get picked..or hide behind someone)
[ ] You sit front row center in all of your classes to get the best learning experience. (Well..not the learing expierience...and not center... mostly to the side...)
[ ] You miss school during the summer. (:O LIES!)
[x] You wear your pants at your waist. (...? No shiz I'm a girl!)

[ ] You prefer sweatpants to jeans.
[ ] You have a pocket protector in your shirt with pens and a calculator in it.
[ ] You let cute boys/girls take advantage of you & copy your homework in hopes of getting noticed. (AHEM!! i copy off the nerds!)
[ ] You've noticed some of the spelling and grammar mistakes in this survey. (...? Wait what where...)
[ ] People always cheat off you during tests. (opposite!)
[ ] Your parents pack your lunch for you every day.
[ ] You wear/should be wearing glasses.

Total = 2

Garage Band Junkie
[ ] You play the guitar. (want to..)
[ ] You have been in a garage band before.
[ ] You're still in a garage band.
[ ] You think your band is going to make it big someday.
[ ] You play shows almost weekly.
[ ] You play the drum set.
[ ] You sing vocals for a band. (I just sing...)
[ ] You write your own lyrics. (if you include really lame songs that came to me at the moment?)
[ ] You spend hundreds on amps and microphones.
[ ] Your band has a myspace page.
[ ] You have been in multiple garage bands.
[ ] You have changed the name of your band at least twice.
[ ] You have participated in a battle of the bands
[ ] Your band has been signed.
[ ] You have taken guitar classes at school.
[ ] You have played at the same venue multiple times.
[ ] You would rather make it big than have to go to college.
[ ] You have musical talent.(if i played any instrument it would sound like a dying cow)

[ ] You have groupies.
[ ] You've made t-shirts and other apparel for your band.

Total = 0

Emo
[ ] You often have trouble convincing people that you aren't emo.
[ ] You comb your hair over one of your eyes. (Er side part.. slightly near eye)
[x] You flip your hair often.
[ ] You have dark-rimmed glasses.
[ ] You have hurt your self on purpose.
[ ] If you're a boy, people often complain about your pants being too tight.
[x] You don't really smile too often.
[ ] You blog often.
[ ] You never smile in pictures.
[ ] You listen to Thursday and/or Sunny Day Real Estate.
[ ] You're too much of a * to be a goth.
[ ] You own a lot of band t-shirts.
[ ] You go to a lot of shows.
[ ] You only go for emo/scene boys and girls.
[ ] It doesn't take very much to make you cry.
[ ] You have played all the Emo Games (...????)
[x] You have worn black eyeliner before.
[ ] You own a bandana in which you wear in your hair.
[ ] You have dark hair.

[ ] You love the emo song. (...? I have so many question marks on this survey...)

[ ] You say stuff like "I feel like my hearts being ripped out" and all that. (... I say shiitake mushroooms)

Total = 3

Skatepunk
[ ] You own a skateboard.
[ ] You have been skateboarding since you were in grade school.
[ ] You have gotten many injuries from skateboarding.
[ ] You know that World Industries and Element aren't just clothing lines.
[ ] You have vandalized public property.
[ ] You have TPed/egged somebody's house before.
[ ] You have been yelled at for littering.
[ ] You have gotten in trouble with the cops.
[ ] You listen to punk rock.
[ ] Chicks on skateboards are hot.
[ ] You stick it to the man
[ ] You own skater shoes.
[ ] You watch MTV2, not MTV.
[x] You enjoy crude humor. (Don't judge me)
[ ] Screw school, lets do crazy stuff.
[x] You know that there are other pro skaters out there besides Tony Hawk.
[ ] You pretty much live at the skate park.
[ ] Hygene does not concern you.
[x] Skater boys are attractive.

Total = 3

Metalhead
[ ] Most people are scared of your music
[ ] A lot of the bands you like have violent names/titles/lyrics
[ ] You hate emo kids
[ ] You have gotten kicked out of a public place multiple times before
[ ] Slipknot isn't really metal
[ ] You appreciate really good guitarists of any genre
[ ] You hate pop and rap.
[ ] You spend all your money on music-related stuff
[ ] Scene kids are fun to laugh at.
[ ] You will become friends with anyone if they like the same bands
[ ] You curse a lot.
[ ] You can name at least five sub genres of metal
[ ] You wore black converses before they became emo
[ ] At least one of your favorite bands thinks they're vikings
[ ] You also like classic rock, such as led zeppelin and pink floyd.
[ ] You have yelled at someone for their taste in music.

Total: 0


SWEETNESS MUSHY STUFF!!!


What a Boyfriend SHOULD do:

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she say's that she like's you, she really does more than you could understand
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When she misses you, she's hurting inside
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
When she repost this bulletin, she wants you to read it
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad, hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok, dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing he says is;
"Who's ass am I kicking babe?"
If you do post this in the next four minutes the one you love will :
Call you.
Kiss you.
Love you.
Text you


Sweetness

This is really sweet...

When a girl is quiet, a million things are running through her mind.
When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.
When a girl looks at you with her eyes full of question, she is wondering how long you will be around.
When a girl answers "I'm fine." after a few seconds, she is not fine at all.
When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.
When a girl rests her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be her's forever.
When a girl wants to see you everday, she wants to be pampered.
When a girl says "I love you." she means it.
When a girl says "I miss you." nobody could miss you more than that.
Life only comes around once, so make sure you spend it with the right person.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, and calls you back when you hang up on him.
The guy who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,
Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.
The one who holds your hand in front of his friends and is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you there for him.
The one who turns to his friends and declares "That's her."
If you read this, you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck for the rest of your life.
If you repost this, in five minutes your true love will call or message you.
Tonight at midnight, they will realize that they love you.
Something good will happen at approximately 1:42 pm tomorrow, and it could happen anywhere.
So get ready for the biggest shock of your life.
If you don't repost this, you will be cursed with relationship problems for all of eternity.


Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile...


I'm the Girl

~I'm the girl who will put my head on your shoulder, not because I'm sleepy, but because I want to be closer to you.
I'm the girl who likes to be kissed in the rain more than inside your bedroom or in an expensive restaurant.

I'm the girl who says,"Okay, but you owe me...", not because I actually want something, but because it means I get to spend more time with you.

I'm the girl you can take absolutely anywhere and I will have fun because it means I am spending time with you.

I'm the girl who is incredibly picky, but when I find someone I like; I want to spend the whole night curled up in their arms.
I'm the girl who never forgets all the sweet little things you do for me.
I'm the girl who never gives up hope even when I tell others I have.

I'm the girl who once I let you into my heart, there's always a place there with your name on it.
And even if we spend time apart,

I'm the girl who never forgets you.
I'm the girl who loves to end a hug with a kiss. I'm the girl who you can talk to about anything.
I'm the girl who will brag about you to all of my friends.
I'm the girl who will listen to you talk.
I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me for no apparent reason.
I'm the girl who loves it when you hug me from behind.
I'm the girl who loves it when you introduce me to your friends as your girlfriend. I'm the girl who loves the feeling when you take me by the hand without saying a word.

I'm the girl who loves it when you give me flowers for no apparent reason.

I'm the girl who thinks the world of you. All I want is for us to be together.


I WANT A GUY...

who would move the hair away from my eyes and then kiss me,

hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

Someone who would sing to me at random moments.

Who would let me sleep on his chest.

A BOY who would get mad at someone if they called me UGLY or were mean to me.

I want someone who would call me 3 times a day if he went away.

Someone who would let me gossip to him

and just smile and agree with everything I said.

He would throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then

KISS ME A MILLION TIMES.

Someone who would make fun of me just to make me laugh.

He would take me to the park and

put his hands around my waist and

give me big bearhugs all the time.

He would tell all his friends about me and SMILE when he did.

And we'd make out in the pouring rain.

He would never be afraid to say "I love you" in front of his friends,

and we'd argue about silly things and then make up.

I want a boy who would kiss me at midnight on New Years

and COUNT STARS with me.

Who would stay home with me on a Friday night

just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

Someone who would tell me I'm beauiful but not too often,

who would make me laugh like NO ONE else could.

But mostly, I want someone who would be my best friend and would never BREAK MY HEART


HOW GUYS FLIRT: 1. He stares at you alot.

2. He hits you alot. (just play hitting )

3. He uses the first thing that pops into his head to start a converstaion with you

4. He yelled, "Hi!", to your mum that day she picked you up from school

6. He tries to make you laugh anyway even if he gets hurt in the process

7. His voice gets softer when ever you two talk.

8. You hung up on him. He called you back.

9. You were invited by him to a group outing.

10. He called you to talk about nothing at all.

11. He imitates your laugh. OK, you do laugh PRETTY LOUD. Which makes you laugh even harder...

12. He remembers little things you mention in casual conversation

13. He sometimes stares straight into your eyes.

14. He uses every possible way to touch you (your hair, face, thighs, KNEES,ect.)

HOW GIRLS FLIRT:

1.She calls you by your full name not just a nick name.

2. She hits you softly on the arm and laughs when you say something funny.

3. She flips her hair when she's talking to you.

4. She touches your arm when she talks to you.

5. She says, "No, I'm not telling you who I like!" with a big smile on her face.

6. She asks you who you like or who you would go out with seemingly interested.

7. When you go to the movies with a bunch of your friends and she is almost always next to you.

8. She criticizes you on a girl you like.

9. You catch her staring at you.

10. She plays with your hair or tries to put make up on you.

11. Her friends outside of school and in school know about you, and says she talks about you a lot.

12. She knows your phone number and address.

13. She will try and talk, and spend time with you as much as possible


44 things a girl would die for

1-touch her waist
2-talk to her
3-share secrets
4-give her your jacket
5-kiss her slowly and touch her face.

are you remembering this?

6-hug her
7-hold her
8-laugh with her
9-invite her somewhere
10-let her be with you when you're with your friends

keep reading

11-smile with her
12-take pics with her
13-pull her onto your lap
14-when she says she loves you more, deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her more than you, deny it.

Are you thinking about someone?

16-always hug her and say "i love you" when you see her
17-kiss her unexpectedly
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19- NEVER ignore her.
20-tell her the way you feel about her!

oh, and on that last one... u need to show her you mean it too

21-kiss her on the lips
22-Tell her she means everything to you
23-tell her what feels good
24-make her feel loved
25-kiss her in front of other girls you know

26-don't lie to her
27-dont cheat on her
28-take her anywhere she wants
29-instant message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her
30-be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you

are you still reading this? u better be, its important

31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too.
32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the cheek (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her

remember this next time you are with her

36. when people diss her, stand up for her. take her side no matter what.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. (if you mean it)
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.

42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.

43. Take her for long walks at night. (she'll feel safe, if you put your arms around her.)
44. Always Remind her how much you love her.

youll never know when she needs just a lil more love

repost this in 20 sec. or you will lose the one you care about the most!!


A few things to say to guys (i might use these later!):

Guy: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, and thats why I don't go there anymore

Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Woman: Actually I'd rather have the money.

Guy: How did you get to be so beautiful?
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Guy: Your face must turn a few heads.
Woman: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

Guy: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out.
Woman: Okay, get out.

Guy: I think I could make you very happy.
Woman: Why? Are you leaving?

Guy: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
Woman: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time.

Guy: Can I have your name?
Woman: Why? Don't you already have one?

Guy: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Guy: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I could see you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: Your eyes, they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Woman: About as much as when you got kicked out of Hell.

Man: I'm God's gift to women
Woman: God certainly has a sense of humor.

Guy: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
Girl: It's in the phone book
Guy: But I don't know your name
Girl: That's in the phone book too

Guy: I know how to please a woman
Girl: Then please leave me alone

Guy: I can tell you want me
Girl: Ohhhh, your so right, I want you to leave

Guy: If you were a hamburger at McDonalds you would be McGorgeous
Girl: Would that be under your McLame Burger

Guy: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven
Girl: Not nearly as bad as when you fell on planet rejection

Guy: Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again
Girl: No, but sure...next time just be sure to keep walking

Guy: I want to give myself to you
Girl: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts

Guy: It's a good thing I have a library card because I'm checking you out
Girl: Sorry, I'm on reserve for someone else

Man: Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Woman: Really? I have the incredible urge to plant my foot up your @.

Man: Are you from Tenessee, 'cause your the only TEN-I-SEE
Woman: No, but are you from Zeroland, because obvioulsy, you don't look right.


COPY AND PASTE IT STUFF TO MAKE YOUR PROFILE LONGER!!!


96% of girls would cry if they saw Justin Bieber about to jump from a very high plane 20,000 feet in the air with no parachute. If you're in the 4% that would bring a cooler of food and drinks and a lawnchair and watch then copy and paste this in your profile. (I'd video tape it!)


95% of girls would scream if Justin Bieber went missing: Paste this on your profile if you are one of 5% who would smile and poke your new prisoner with a stick


(\_/)
( o.o )
(U U )

This is bunny. Copy and paste this bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination. (do it now)

(=O.O=)

This is the evil plot bunny. Copy and paste him onto your profile to help him achieve world domination.

If you love looking at profiles that are ridiculously long, copy and paste this on your profile!

If your a copy cat and love to copy things off of other people's profiles, copy and paste this on your profile!

If you think you went overboard with copy and pasting, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If the scroll bar on the side of your screen is so small it cant get any smaller, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If it takes you more than an hour to read your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you think you have copy and pasted everything there is to copy and paste onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you like singing songs at random points in the day, copy this into your profile.

If have ever eaten someone else's food without realizing it, copy this into your profile.

if you think girls and boys are equal human beings, copy and paste this into your profile.

98 percent of teens have tried smoking pot. If you haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think hair color doesn't determine how smart you are, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your friends have ever called you evil, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want a million dollars, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you want a billion dollars, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you don't care about politics, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate spinach, copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you konw taht you can raed mix-up wrods vrey esialy if the frist and lsat ltetrs are in the rgiht palce? If you could read that, copy and paste this into your profile.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend, copy and paste this to your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile...

If you think that sugar is a reason to live, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are guilty of doing a British, Irish, Australian, Southern accent or Elvis impression, copy this in your profile.

Ifyour English teacher ever told you to stop reading in class, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever proved your teacher wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you randomly start talking/singing/dancing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If talking to yourself is a common thing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you'd rather read than do sports, paste this into your profile.

If you run upstairs to your room right after school to get on your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

Put this in your profile if you didn't know the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star had the same tune.

65 percent of Teenagers spend more time watching TV rather then read. If you are part of the 35 percent who read more than watch TV then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you read your own stories or profile just for the heck of it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on to your profile.

If you work better to music or TV, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you day-dream about your fictional characters and plot lines in class, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you are wondering what it would be like to have wings, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever yelled at the book you were reading because the characters did something stupid post this on your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you secretly wished you had gotten a letter to Hogwarts when you were little, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a ridiculously long profile, copy and paste this onto your profile to make it longer.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) I'veComeToTakeYourCheese, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly (about 24 hours now not counting the few hours of sleep), Alleyanna Cullen,hugz.4.all.the.emo.boyz, WritingRocks6 (hoo yeah), GlindaFied26, XxXpurplelilyxXx Bookluvrxoxo, Daydreamer897, The Friendly Chupacabra, Shorty and KG Inc.(:D), Ice wolf13, AlyxtheDarkWanderer, BellaSwan321, Bookworm614, lukexthaliaxfan23, charn14, allyouneedislove1797, WireWriter...izzi08, HOAdragonfly!!!,

If you have ever wanted to kill someone (including a man in a purple and green dinosaur suit known as 'Barney the Dinosaur', any sound-nin from Naruto, George Bush, Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, or any other fool) then realized murder is illegal then copy and paste this into your profile.

-Lol


This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted "Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded


This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 percent of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 percent of the people that read this won’t repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.


There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!
I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.
What a great email it was!!
Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.

Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

Go for it!
SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.
Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!
If you email this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.


There's a 13 year old girl, and she wished
that her dad would come home from
the army, because he'd been having
problems with his heart and right
leg. It was 2:53 p.m . When she made
her wish. At 3:07 p.m. (14 minutes
later), the doorbell rang, and
there her Dad was, luggage and all!!

I'm Katie and I'm 20 and I've been
having trouble in my job and on the
verge of quitting. I made a simple
wish that my boss would get a new
job. That was at 1:35 and at 2:55
there was an announcement that he
was promoted and was leaving for
another city. Believe me...this
really works!

My name is Ann and I am 45 years
of age. I had always been single
and had been hoping to get into a
nice, loving relationship for many
years. While kind of daydreaming
(and right after receiving this email)
I wished that a quality person would
finally come into my life. That was at
9:10 AM on a Tuesday. At 9:55 AM
a FedEx delivery man came into my
office.He was cute, polite and
could not stop smiling at me. He
started coming back almost everyday
(even without packages) and asked me
out a week later. We married 6
months later and now have been
happily married for 2 years.

What a great email it was!!

Just scroll down to the end, but
while you do, think of a wish.
Make your wish when you have completed
scrolling. Whatever age you are, is the
number of minutes it will take for your
wish to come true. ex.you are 25 years
old, it will take 25 minutes for your wish
to come true).

Go for it!

SCROLL DOWN!

STOP!

Congratulations! Your wish will
now come true in your age minutes.

Now follow this carefully...it
can be very rewarding!

If you repost this within the next 5 min.
something major that you've been wanting
will happen.

This is scary!

The phone will ring right after you repost!


there were 3girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared. Girls

friend: Whatever lets just go upstairs trust me I doubt hes really coming. Its just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girls friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30am. Well what are you waiting for?


RANDOM QUOTES


When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then throw it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you originally asked for.

Opens mailbox and skims through mail* "Junk...junk...junk...coupon...ooo they're having a sale at Bob's Buffalo Buffet...junk...junk...UGH! I joined the dark side years ago! Why do they keep sending me brochures!" *Throws down mail and stomps inside then runs back out* "I almost forgot my coupon!"

Something to think about: If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetballs? Oh, deep, I know.

Everything is funny as long as it's happening to someone else

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

You laugh at me because I'm crazy, I laugh at you because there's an invisible leprechaun sitting on your shoulder.

Last night I was laying in bed, looking up at the stars and I thought . . . WHERE THE HECK IS THE CEILING?

Before you judge a person, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, it doesn't matter because you're a mile away from him, and you've got his shoes.

Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised that we lied about having cookies?

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Keep smiling; it makes everyone wonder what you're up to.

We must never, ever be mean to stupid people. If we are, they might go away. Then who would we laugh at?

Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

It’s retarded it’s ridiculous it’s re-dic-u-tard-ed.

What girls don't seem to know: when a guy acts like he hates you, chances are, he likes you.
What guys don't seem to know: when a girl acts like she hates you, chances are, she hates you.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers.

The world is full of crazy people. They made me their leader.

Don't mess with me, I've got a stick.

Boys are like Slinky's . . . useless, but fun to watch fall down stairs.

Slinky + escalator = endless fun

People tell me I'm weird and I say "You just figured that out?"

Best friends are the people that know all about you and still put up with you.

I don't have a short attention span, I just - ooh, a kitty!

I'm not insane . . . I just do whatever the voices tell me to.

Isn't it funny how people who want quiet are always the loudest telling people to shut up?

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyways.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people and their questions.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.

There's no place like home . . . but Wal-mart's close.

You can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their own way, then trick them when they aren't paying attention.

Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother, Ho-Chan-Chu. I think its Collin.

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.

When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's actually a meteor hurtling toward Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

There is a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

Remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back.

Secret admirers are stalkers with stationary.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

If the world gives you lemons, you can make lemonade... or you can make a biologically engineered virulent air-born pathogenic virus that will wipe out the entire population of the planet, which would be a whole lot cooler.

Don't worry about the people in your past, there's a reason they didn't make it to your future.

The rules only apply if you get caught.

I got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the w's.

A true idiot climbs a glass wall to see what's on the other side.

I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

Don't worry about the end of the world coming today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Kids are the future. Be afraid, very afraid!

Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

You're a great friend, but if zombies chase us . . . I'm tripping you.

So many stupid people, so little duct tape.

I'm too tired to punch you. Would you please run your face into my fist repeatedly?

I have multiple personalities, and none of them like you.

I don't understand white crayons! Why are they here? What do they want from us?

"Let's eat Grandma!" or "Let's eat, Grandma!" Punctuation saves lives.

Get real. No one's going to form a single-file line if the building's on FIRE!

The next sentence is true. The previous sentence is false.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So SHUT UP!

WARNING- stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

Warning: trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird!

let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

yea you have the right to your own opinion, but i have the right to think your stupid.

warning: im sarcastic and i hurt peoples feeling sometimes, boo hoo. get over it.!

I don't obsess, I think intensely!

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw. (XDDD)

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

I do not deny everything.

Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

The road to success is always under construction.

Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.

Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics.

When the going gets tough, the tough get duct tape

Life's tough...Get a helmet

I stopped fighting my inner demons... We're on the same side now!

SHUT UP VOICES!! or I'll poke you with the Q-tip again...

If Barbie's So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends

Life's Greatest Pleasure Is Doing What People Tell You Not To Do

Never Go To A Doctor Whose Office Plants Have Died

Man Invented Language To Satisfy Their Deep Need To Complain

Magic is the stuff Science hasn't made boring yet!

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

'Hold my purse.'

"If you don't understand my silence, then you won't understand my words."

Forgive your enemies - it messes with their heads :P

I wouldn't have OCD if everyone else would just do things the right way.

Alice in Wonderland Oh! Is that the story of Alice before she went into the Asylum?

People that don't know me think I'm quiet. People that do wish I was.

Sarcasm. It's easier than actually having to deal with stupid people.

An atheist is a person who believes in not believing anything.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Everyone has a wild side--me and my friends just prefer to make them public

Labels are for cans. And in case you haven't noticed--Im not a can.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

I ran with scissors, and lived!

My friend's the kind of person that breaks the silence at a funeral by screaming "KUNG POW CHICKEN"

BRB, I'm busy trying to jump off the roof with the kitchen broom.

Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Life isn't passing me by, its trying to run me over.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

If you think about it, benjamin franklin is sort of stupid. Who goes outside and flies a kite with a key on it in a thunder storm? thats like writing your will before your born!

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

- So funny


The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK.But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...Post this on your profile if you hate racism


Things on my TO DO list.


20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in you car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time some one asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that

4: Put you garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS"

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy"

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO"

12: Sing along at the opera

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom"

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON!!!!!!!!!"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives they're loose"

19: Tell your children (or younger sibling) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go"

20: And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity is... Copy this and put it on your profile!


37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."


25 Fun Things to do at McDonald's:

1. Sit in a corner and pretend like you’re making out with yourself. (This works even better when 2 people are doing it separately.)

2. Pay entirely in pennies.

3. Tell them you require three copies of the receipt for filing reasons.

4. Order a shake, and tell them you want bacon with it. If they say no, complain loudly for others to hear, and scream out, "I guess you really don't wana see me smile do you, because right now I don't exactly feel like smiling in light of the extenuating circumstances!"

5. Ask to see the manager, then complain to him about all of life’s problems. If they don’t let you talk to the manager, walk out muttering, “You're gonna be reading about this in the papers.”

6. While you’re in line, jump up and down like you’re having a spazz attack and scream repeatedly, “YO QUIERO TACO BELL!”

7. Sell White Castle food in the restrooms. Then when people get food poisoning you can blame it on McDonald’s.

8. Walk in wearing a Burger King hat. (Great when 3 or 4 people do this at the same time.)

9. Bring in a fart machine and keep setting it off, meanwhile making comments like, “Man, I knew I shouldn’t have eaten here.”

10. Return your food and tell them you’re allergic to nuclear waste mixed with gasoline byproducts.

11. Bring in a video camera and tell them they’re live on 20/20. (You should see the looks on their faces!)

12. Stand on a table with a megaphone and whenever somebody complains say, “This isn’t Burger King, you can’t have it your way.”

13. Flood the soda fountain machine. (It’s more interesting than flooding toilets.)

14. Walk to the drive-thru window and order. (If you really wanna tick ‘em off, skateboard.)

15. Take about 30 or so straws and blow all the wrappers at people. If anyone gives you a look, act a bit too innocent.

16. Speak gibberish, and act confused when they try to tell you that they don’t know how to speak gibberish too.

17. Chuck something at one of the employees. (I bet you five bucks they chuck it back.)

18. Chuck Skittles, M&Ms, or other small candy back into the cooking area.

19. Take two bites out of your burger, then tell the employee it’s cold and ask for a new one. Then repeat. And repeat. And repeat.”

20. Act like a schizo while you’re ordering. (“I’ll have a cheeseburger.” “No, chicken nuggets!” “Cheeseburger!”) Slap yourself to make it look convincing.

21. Climb on top the Play Place. When they tell you to come down, fall off and pretend your hurt, then threaten to sue.

22. When it’s your turn to order, start a conversation with the employee. Ask them how was their day, etc. When someone gets ticked and calls for the manager, scram, or start a conversation with him too.

23. Try to stuff your coins sideways into the charity box. Then when they don’t fit, start complaining loudly about how McDonald’s is so greedy and how they’re ripping off their charities. (Act really outraged about it.)

24. Try to bribe an employee for cheaper food. If they give in, call the manager. (Keep any food they gave you, though.)

25. Walk in and go sit down in a seat, then grab the little table advertisement thingy, (you know what I'm talking about, the triangular thingy by the salt and pepper, yeah that.) Well look at it turning it over and over and then say defiantly, "I know what I'm going to order, I'm ready!" After about five minutes, scream out, "Waiter!" Then after about five more minutes get up, and stomp out of the restaurant with the advertisement thingy. Then turn arround, come back in, and throw the advertisement thingy at the cashier and yell, "Your service sucks! You just lost yourself a customer, you hear that! A customer! Your not gonna see me smile!"


16 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grap a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting, "Go, Pikachu, Go"
16. Go into the candy Isle and scream, " WHY DOES MY TOOTH HURT?"


What to Do During an Exam
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.
4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.
7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.
9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.
10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Darn this!" and walk out triumphantly.
14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)
15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).
16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.
20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that)
21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.
23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.
24. Act spazzy
25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"
26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!
27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.
31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.
32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."
33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."
34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.
35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.
36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.
37. If your answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.
39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.
41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.
42. Dress like the professor.
43. Cross-Dress.
44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.
45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.


House of ANUBIS!!!


1: Nina

2: Jerome

3: Fabian

4: Patricia

5: Amber

6: Joy

7: Alfie

8: Trudy

9: Mara

10: Victor

11: Rufus

12: Mick(I really hate mick hes a meathead haha)

1: Have you ever read a one/three story? (Nina/Fabian)

UUUGGGHHH who hasnt. but i like Nina jerome better!

2: Is number three hot? How hot? (Fabian)

Well on a scale of 1-10 hes about a 6... think about it. Hes like one of thoes christmas sweaters thats nice but you wouldnt prefer but you say its nice anyways.

3: What would happen if nine got six pregnant? (Mara/Joy)

O.O oh my god dont even go there... i dont think its humanly possible... unless... *shudders*

4: Have you ever read a three/five/nine story? (Fabian/Amber/Mara)

Uhhhh no. Do i want to? Probably not.

5: What would happen if twelve died in a hole? (Mick)

Id scream and jump for joy and say TAKE THAT YOU MEATHEAD! then id go over to the nick studios and give the director a high five! Hahaha im so nice arent i?

6: Do you recall reading a story about eight? (Trudy)

... no.

7: Do you think it would work out if two and eleven were dating? (Jerome/Rufus)

UH NO WAY. Think about it... one of them would probably end up dead... and its not rufus. Your not stupid(i hope), do the math.

8: What would happen if seven walked in on two and twelve sex? (Alfie/Jerome/Mick)

2 things wrong with that... 1, all of them are boys... CUREEPY! 2, umm Jerome HATES MICKS GUTS...

9: Make up a summary for a three/ten fic. (Fabian/Victor)

Uhhh Fabian saves Nina from getting caught by victor... but he gets punnished instead?

10: Five/nine or five/ten? (Amber/Mara or Amber/Victor)

O.o is none of the above an option?

11: Would two and six make a good couple? (Jerome/Joy)

Welllll, its better than joy and victor but JEROME AND NINA BELONG TOGEATHER!!!!

12: Is there anything as one/eight fluff? (Nina/Trudy)

HELLL NO!

13: Suggest a title for a seven/twelve hurt/comfort fic. (Alfie/Mick)

Meathead gets dumped! haha

14: What might ten scream at a great moment of passion? (Victor)

... YOU STUPID BRATS! haha

15: If you wrote a one/six/twelve, what would the warning be? (Nina/Joy/Mick)

WARNING: Excesseve cat fights and meathead attitude involved. Just because Mick says its true, doesnt mean your dumb enough to believe him.

16: What would be a good pick-up line for ten to use on two? (Victor/Jerome)

Oh so your calling ME the one with no family huh you rotten brat??? haha BAD I NO.


1. Nina

2. Jerome
3. Joy

4. Fabian
5. Amber
6. Mara
7. Alfie
8. Mick
9. Patricia
10. Rufus

1. 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happens? (Fabian, Joy, and Mick)

Nina bursts into the room and yells WHY THE HECK DID YOU INVITE JOY INSTEAD OF ME!? then joy cries and leavs. Yea i have an evil mind.

2. 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens? (Patricia and Amber)

Ummmm... Amber takes too long to get ready, they miss half of the class, then she wont do anything coz it might mess up her hair :3

3. You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6? (Nina or Mara)

Nina. I would like to NOT study all night if possible.

4. 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in…their reaction? (Jerome/Alfie and Rufus)

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh lets just hope that will NEVER happen.

5. 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens? (Joy/Mara and Mick)

Ummmm Mick would be angry at joy but really its stupid.

6. 4 jumps you in a dark alley. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2, or 7 (Fabian, Rufus, Jerome or Alfie)

Umm, really? For 1 i would NEVER want rufus to come help me(shudders) Id say Jerome...

7. 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later, what happens? (Nina)

She pulls a perfect pasta salad out of the fridge and shows the audience!

8. 1 and 7 are making out and 9 walks in! What happens? (Nina/Alfie and Patricia)

Ummmm she slapps one of them? then leaves?

9. 3 has to marry either 8, 4, or 9. Who do they choose? (Joy, Mick, Fabian or Patricia)

Patricia because she wants to see her perfect couple spend the rest of their lives together. HAHAHAHA JK JK JK Your not stupid.

10. 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2 is release. What is it? (Alfie, Jerome, and amber)

Uhhhhh Kisses. Thats what.

11. You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you choose? (Nina or Mara)

Nina.

12. 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why? (Rufus and Fabian)

Im baffled. And its ME we are talking about.

13. Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens? (Joy and EVERYONE!)

They tell Joy to stop trying to break up Fabina but joy does it anyways then Nina and JErome start dating and everyone realizez they are MENT TO BE and everythings good :)

14. Everyone is invited to 10 and 2’s wedding except for 8. How do they react? (rufus(oh no)/Jerome and Mick)

Um Mick doesnt know who the heck this guy is so he doesnt care, but nobody comes to the wedding anyways.

15. Why is 6 afraid of 7? (Mara and Alfie)

coz he put on a scary mask and scared her? i reallydont know.

16. 10 gathers everyone around to tell a fairytale. How does it go? (Rufus and Everyone)

"Once upon a time there were some really annoying kids who runed my chance at getting immortality and i killed them all but they all came back to life and now ccoz i faled at killing a bunch of 15 year olds iam forced to act in a stupid pickle commercia." And why the heck would rurus be telling a fairytale anyways?

17. 1 arrives late for 2 and 10’s wedding. What happens? Why are they late? (Nina and Jerome/Rufus)

Nina had a hard time finding a wedding gift that they would both enjoy and rufus kills her and then Jerome breaks up with rufus before they get married and everyone cheers.

18. 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at you house? What happens? (Amber and Patricia)

Uh i scream GET THE HELL OUTTA MY HOUSE YOU TWO DRUNK BASTARDS!

19. 3, 6, and 4 get invited to 8’s birthday party. How does it go? What presents to they give 8? (Joy, Mara, Fabian and Mick)

They go to a sports game and they get really bored. Joy gives mick a kiss, Mara slapps her. Mara gives mick a kiss, and joy gets mad at mara for slapping her. Fabian gives mick a kiss... NONONNOO jkjjkjkjkj that would be SERIOUSLY creepy. fabian would forget it was micks birthday then theyd run off and get married idk

20. Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do? (Me and Everyone)

They hate how i like Jerome and NIna and AMber orgonizes a protest of me likeing Jerina then Nina and Jerome sneak off and go make out in a closet somewhere.

21. 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them? (Patricia and Jerome)

Jerome kisses patricia. ahahahah

22. 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 1? (Mara and Nina)

Mara(being the person she is) helps Nina survive but Nina wants mara to live and they fight over it and they both end up dying. I know, im evil. :3

23. 2 is upset! Why? Who tries to comfort him/her, 9 or 10? What do they do? (Jerome, Patricia or Rufus)

uh not rufus.

24. 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to the rescue. What happens? (amber and rufus)

Of course Ambers the one stuck in the cave. Lets just say rufus goes in and they were never seen again... muahahaha

25. 3 starts a day camp. What happens? (Joy)

Joy starts rambling on to the kids about her life problems and how Fabian left her and all the kids start crying and she cries too and shes like "oh its so sad i know."

26. 4, 6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens? (Fabian, Mara, Alfie, and Mick)

Mick sees this phenomenon and turns around and walks out of the room without saying a word.

27. 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2’s reaction? (Nina, Patricia/Rufus Jerome)

Jerome is freaked out and gets mad at nina then they kiss and forget all about the stupid story.

28. 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good? (Alfie)

We are talking about the same alfie right?

29. 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason, they forget to bring any food. What do they do? (Mick and Joy)

Ummm they kiss and Mara shows up to supprise mick and she slapps him.

30. While they are camping, they run into James (from Twilight). What do they do? (Mick and Joy)

They are like 'who are you?'


FUN STUFF


Lets make my profile longer, shal we?

A : has a smile to die for
B : is a nerd at times
C : can kick your butt
D : great friend
E : has beautiful eyes
F : wild and crazy
G : HOT
H : likes someone
I : best boyfriend or girlfriend
J : is really sweet
K : gorgeous
L : very good kisser
M : can be funny and dumb at times
N : easy to fall in love with
O : has one of the best personalities ever
P : popular with all types of people
Q : makes people laugh
R : gives good hugs
S : nice butt
T : very open - minded
U : is loved by everyone
V : very romantic and not judgmental
W : not bad
X : never let people tell you what to do
Y : very hot
Z : makes dating fun

Now lets do some of my friends! (and me!)

M= Can be funny and dumb at times (oh so true.)

A= Has a smile to die for (eh okay then...)

D= Great friend (I hope so!)

I= Best boyfriend /girlfriend (I hope so!)

S= Nice butt (I wish!)

O= Has one of the best personalities ever (yay!)

N= easy to fall in love with (:))


Cole

S= nice butt (haha)

T = very open minded (yeah)
E= has beautiful eyes

P= popular with all types of people

H= likes someone

E= has beautiful eyes

N= easy to fall in love with

C= can kick your butt (not true)

O= has one of the best personalities ever

L= very good kisser (haha)

E= has beautiful eyes


Now Charlie AKA Robert... i think i will do both his names.

C= Can kick your butt (Not so sure about that one...)

H= Likes someone

A= Has a smile to die for (SO true.)

R= Gives good hugs

L= Very good kisser

I= Best Boyfriend/girlfriend (Well RACHEL has been going out with him for 2 yrz so i bet its true.)

E= Has beautifull eyes (haha yeah, true.)

Now i will do his real name!

R= Gives good hugs

O= One of the best personalities ever (EEEHHH... idk about that one...)

B= Is a nerd at times (yeah, he can be.)

E= Has beautiful eyes

R= Gives good hugs

T= Very open- minded


Now Doug!!!

D= great friend (From how much i got to know him i would say so!)

O= Has one of the best personalities ever (Somewhat yes!)

U= Loved by everyone (Yeah pretty much.)

G= HOT!!! No comment


Well, i might aswell do Jackson while im at it.

J= is really sweet (Weeeelllll... no not really, but he is HALARIOUS.)

A = has a smile to die for (Yeah, and skin to die for. He never has a single pimple and i am soooo mad about that.)

C= can kick your butt (Yup)

K= georgeous (Yup!)

S= Nice butt (NO COMMENT.)

O= has one of the best personalities ever (Suppose so...)

N= Easy to fall in love with (yeah guess so.)


Now for my friend, i will do Ryan coz she likes him.

R= Gives good hugs

Y= Very hot

A= Has a smile to die for

N= Easy to fall in love with.


IMPORTANT THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."


Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to your mother ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which button to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press, no one will answer.
If you are dyslexic, press 969696969696969696969696969696969696969.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
If you have bipolar disorder, leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.


ONLY IN AMERICA...
...can a pizza get delivered to your house before an ambulance can.
...are there handicapped parking spaces in front of a skating rink.
...do drugstores make sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
...do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet coke.
...do banks leave both doors open but chain the pens to the counters.
...do we leave expensive cars in the driveway and worthless stuff in the garage.
...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
...do we use the word "politics" so freely: in Latin, "poli" meaning many, and "ticks" meaning blood-sucking leeches.
...do we have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.


Recently reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers
Journal, the following are questions actually asked of
witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses
given by insightful witnesses:

1.”Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep,
he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?”

2.”The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?”

3.”Were you present when your picture was taken?”

4.”Were you alone or by yourself?”

5.”Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the
war?”

6.”Did he kill you?”

7.”How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?”

8.”You were there until the time you left, is that true?”

9.”How many times have you committed suicide?”

10. Q: “So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “And what were you doing at that time?”

11. Q: “She had three children, right?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “How many were boys?”
A: “None.”
Q: “Were there any girls?”

12. Q: “You say the stairs went down to the basement?”
A: “Yes.”
Q: “And these stairs, did they go up also?”

13. Q: “Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?”
A: “I went to Europe, Sir.”
Q: “And you took your new wife?”

14. Q: “How was your first marriage terminated?”
A: “By death.”
Q: “And by who’s death was it terminated?”

15. Q: “Can you describe the individual?”
A: “He was about medium height and had a beard.”
Q: “Was this a male, or a female?”

16. Q: “Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a
deposition notice which was sent to your attorney?”
A: “No, this is how I dress when I go to work.”

17. Q: “Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead
people?”
A: “All my autopsies are performed on dead people.”

18. Q: “All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did
you go to?”
A: “Oral.”

19. Q: “Do you recall the time that you examined the body?”
A: “The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..”
Q: “And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?”
A: “No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing
an autopsy.”

20. Q: “You were not shot in the fracas?”
A: “No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.”

21. Q: “Are you qualified to give a urine sample?”
A: “I have been since early childhood.”

22. Q: “Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
check for a pulse?”
A: “No.”
Q: “Did you check for blood pressure?”
A: “No.”
Q: “Did you check for breathing?”
A: “No.”
Q: “So, then it is possible that the patient was alive
when you began the autopsy?”
A: “No.”
Q: “How can you be so sure, Doctor?”
A: “Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.”
Q: “But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?”
A: “It is possible that he could have been alive and
practicing law somewhere.”


my heart: _/\_/\_/\_

when I see you: /\/\/\/\/\

when you leave me: _


Stuipid Fears

Ablutophobia - The fear of taking showers
Anablephobia - The fear of looking up
Anglophobia- The fear of England
Aulophobia - The fear of flutes
Basophobia - The fear of walking
Cinophobia - The fear of going to bed
Geliophobia - The fear of laughter
Linonophobia - The fear of string (but string is fun!)
Omphalophobia - The fear of belly buttons (i wonder about this one...)
Scriptophobia - The fear of writing in public(how did u get through school?)
Sinistrophobia - The fear of left-handed people
Trichopathophobia - The fear of hair
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words (kinda ironic)
Panophobia- Fear of everything
Levophobia- Fear of objects to the left side of the body
Chromatophobia- Fear of colors
Kathisophobia- Fear of sitting down
Geliophobia- Fear of laughter
Eleutherophobia- Fear of freedom
Turophobia- Fear of cheese
Lachanophobia - Fear of vegetables. (half of kids would use this as an excuse...)
Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of your mouth (odd...)
Unatractiphobia - Fear of ugly people. (how nice)
Pogonophobia - Fear of beards. (What about Santa Claus?)
Apeirophobia - Fear of infinity.
Didaskaleinophobia - Fear of going to school. (I'm going to use this one)
Sitophobia or Sitiophobia - Fear of food or eating (How do they survive?)
Japanohpobia- The fear of Japanese people (Why would people fear them?)
Phobophobia - fear of having a phobia (okay, this one is messed up)
Scopophobia - fear of being looked at or stared at. (depends on who is staring)
Haptephobia - fear of being touched.
Chorophobia - fear of dancing. (The dancers can be scary...)
Olfactophobia - fear of smells.
Decidophobia - fear of making decisions
Pteronophobia- Fear of being tickled by feathers (I can't stop laughing)
Homichlophobia- Fear of fog. (odd)


9 Things I Really Hate-

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where is yours?

2 People who are willing to get off their but to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why in the world would you keep looking after you've found it?

5 When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?'. No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.

6 People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say 'life is short'. What the freak?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I still be standing here? I don't think so.


CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter ~ (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.
Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and
can be unfriendly at times. Hold grudges. Like competition. Get what they want.
20 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


A good friend helps you up when you fall down. A best friend laughs and trips you again. Or sits on you back and forces you to stay down...

A good friend will comfort you when he rejects you. A best friend will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A good friend will be there for you when he breaks up with you. A best friend will prank call him and whisper, “You will die in seven days..."

A good friend helps you up when you fall. A best friend keeps on walking saying, "Walk much?"

A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A good friend gives you their umbrella in the rain. A best friend takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

A good friend will help you move. A best friend will help you move the bodies.

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

A good friend never asks for anything to eat or drink. Best friends Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

A good friend Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. A best friend Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

A good friend asks you to write down your number. A best friend has you on speed dial.

A good friend borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. A best friend loses your junk and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

A good friend only knows a few things about you. A best friend could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

A good friend will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. A best friend will kick the whole crowds’ butt that left you.

A good friend would knock on your front door. A best friend will walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

A friend will help me find my way when I'm lost. A best friend will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

A friend will help me learn to drive. A best friend will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will watch my pets when I go away. A best friend won't let me go away without them.

A friend will go to a concert with me. A best friend will kidnap the band with me.

A good friend hides me from the cops. A best friend is probably the reason they are after me in the first place.

A good friend lets me make an idiot of myself in public. A best friend is up there with me making an idiot out of herself too.

A good friend is only through school/college. A best friend is for life.


WHY CHILDREN ARE ADORABLE

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE . God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

--The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

--One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

--A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

--A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".


Great comebacks:

If someone you hate asks you this: "How much do you hate me?"

YOU respond: "Im not allowed to use that kind of language."

If someone you like asks you this: "Do you like me?"

YOU respond: "Good question!" then walk away.

If someone really mean says this: "Your really bad at *insert something here*

YOU respond: Yes. yes i am. (it totally works!)

If someone asks you something and you didnt hear them..

YOU shrug your shoulders! works for everything.

If your late to class and your teacher asks: "Why are you late?"

YOU respond: "I was fighting Aliens in the 4th dimension when one of their cheese rays blew one of the tires on my space jeep and I had to stop and get it changed on my way here. There was also a HUGE line for the popcorn."

if you put your name on the bottom of all your school papers instead of on the NAME line for a week and your teacher gets irratated and asks this: "Why cant you just put it up on the line that says NAME instead of making me look for it? its easier."

YOU respond: yeah but its TOO easy.


1) i need to tell you a secret. go to 5

2) the answer is... go to 11

3) dont get angry. go to 15

4) calm down don't get frustrated. go to 13

5) first go to 2

6) dont be angry just go to 12

7) i just wanted to say hi

8) what i wanted to tell you is...is on 14

9) Be patient and go to 4

10) this is the last time im going to send u to a number. go to 7

11) i hope ur not annoyed when i say this...but go to 6

12) sorry out of order. go to 8

13) don't get mad just yet...go to 10

14) i dont know how to say this but... go to 3

15) You must be really bored so go to 9

IF YOU WERE ANNOYED OR LIKED IT, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR PROFILE!!!!


FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.

BEST FRIENDS: Will already have the shovel to bury the body of the person that made you cry.

FRIENDS: Give you their umbrellas in the rain.

BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and run.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.

BEST FRIENDS: Will be in the cell with you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.

BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number for them.

BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial already.

FRIENDS: Knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'M HOME."

Friends vs. Best Friends

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shirt and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd home that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will give you their umbrella when it's raining.
BEST FRIENDS: Will take yours and yell "RUN GIRL RUN!!"

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "We screwed up again."

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this!!!


Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? Real Headlines:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
( Ya think? )

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
( What a guy!)

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
( No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!)

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
(See if that works any better than a fair trial!)

War Dims Hope for Peace
( I can see where it might have that effect!)

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
(Ya think?!)

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
(Who would have thought!)

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
(They may be on to something!)

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
(You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? )

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
(He probably IS the battery charge!)

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
(Weren't they fat enough?!)

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
(That's what he gets for eating those beans!)

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
(Do they taste like chicken?)

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
(Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
(Boy, are they tall!)

And the winner is...

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

(Did I read that right?)


If you can't beat 'em, join 'em

If you can't join 'em, bribe 'em

If you can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em

If you can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em

If you can't kill 'em, your screwed


MUSIC


IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, THE SOUNDTRACK WOULD BE...

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your music library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, FrostWire, etc.).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question, type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button.
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool..

Opening Credits: Two is better than one- boys like girls

Waking Up: Must get out- Maroon 5

First Day At School: before the worst- the script (Oh wow this is too wierd. sooo acurate!)

Making Your New Best Friend: she will be loved- maroon 5 (Maybe not so acurate...)

Falling In Love: heels over head- boys like girls (haha)

Breaking Up: No curtain call- Maroon 5 (oookkkaaayyy)

Prom: Super Bass- nicki manaj

Graduation: out of goodbyes- maroon 5 FT lady antabellum

Life's Okay: wake up call- maroon 5

Death of a Close Friend: If i aint got you- maroon 5

Mental Breakdown: man who cant be moved- the script

Driving: last friday night -katy perry

Flashback: dont know nothing- maroon 5

Getting Back Together: Naturally- selena gomez

Birth of Child: never gonna leave this bed- maroon 5(what the heck?!)

Wedding scene: According to you- orianthi (oh gosh no... :O)

Car Accident: single ladys- beonce

Final Battle: What the hell- Avril lavigne

Death Scene: godzilla- blue oyster cult

Funeral song: fireflies- owl city

End Credits: tonight tonight- hot chelle rae


1. Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your next answer

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Cobra starship, you make me feel

2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

Jason Derulo, It girl

3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Adam Lambert, Whataya want from me

4. WHAT IS 2+2?

boys like girls, love drunk (what?)

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

gym class heros(and adam lavigne) stereo heart (What?)

6. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Usher, DJ got us falling in love again

7. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Adam Lambert, time for miracles

8. WHAT DO YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Avril lavigne, sk8r boi

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

hot chelle rae, i like it like that

10. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

hot chelle rae, i like to dance (what?)

11. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Hey monday, homecoming

12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

hot chelle rae, tonight tonight (what?)

13. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBIE/INTEREST?

Flo rida, right round

14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

My chemical romance, i dont love you

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

My chemical romance, teenagers

16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?

LMFAO, party rock anthem

17. HOW WILL YOU DIE?

David guetta, without you

18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET?

avril lavigne, girlfriend

19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?

Avril lavigne, complicated

20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?

Avril lavigne, smile

21. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?

My chemical romance, SING

22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?

Cobra starship, good girls go bad

23. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?

Maroon 5, Sunday morning

24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?

boys like girls, heels over head

25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?

boys like girls, heart heart heartbreak


LABLES


I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists. (only a little)
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a blank...
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a blank.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking blank.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be blank them all. (Guy friends are better than girls!)

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a blank.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT so I MUST be a poser
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a brat.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTIAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so i must be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction
I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a blank.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a wuss.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling brat.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a brat.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE.. So I MUST be a blank myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist. (goth-ish)
I’m a CROSS DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker. (House of Anubis
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic blank.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian. (I don't want a boyfriend for a few years. I'm too young!)
I CURSE a lot, so I MUST be a rebel.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I wear GLASSES, so I MUST be a nerd.
I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST be lesbian.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I don't have many FRIENDS, so I MUST be unpopular

I'm a TOMBOY, so I MUST have no female friends.
I am AGRESSIVE, so I MUST be a blank.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love pink
I write FANFICS, so I MUST be a freak.

I think my profiles long enough now! haha

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

You Will Leave A Mark by ixxivxcvi reviews
And maybe they're not meant to be, but maybe that's just how it works. /Beck/Tori, Beck-centric.
Victorious - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 17 - Words: 38,951 - Reviews: 170 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 4/17 - Published: 8/2/2011 - Beck O., Tori V.
Let's Play A Game! by Dragonclaw11 reviews
The House of Anubis teens are bored out of their minds; at least, they were before Amber suggested they play Truth or Dare. Reluctantly, they agree to play, causing things to get hectic. With kisses, newbies, singing and craziness, what will go on in this House of Humor? House of Romance? Or House of Drama...you decide! R&R
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 12,420 - Reviews: 173 - Favs: 75 - Follows: 84 - Updated: 6/13/2013 - Published: 4/29/2011 - Amber M.
Close to Freedom by xsoulessxgingerx reviews
Jerome's dark past and home life are revealed to the house when his sister, Laura, comes to visit. Warnings inside. JARA in later chapters.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 34,592 - Reviews: 124 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 11/9/2012 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Jerome C., Mara J.
Too much Drama by TICKLES3000 reviews
This is the sequel to Matchmaker Paradise. Enjoy!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 28 - Words: 35,802 - Reviews: 215 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 39 - Updated: 9/17/2012 - Published: 7/8/2011 - Fabian R., Nina M.
Goodbyes and hellos by I-Dream-To-Dream1613 reviews
An unexpected twist of fate causes Chloe and Alek to fianlly admit their feelings for each other. What other unexpected surprises come into the lives and what will they have to let go of? Sorry summary sucks but please read!
Nine Lives of Chloe King - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 47,763 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 92 - Follows: 118 - Updated: 6/5/2012 - Published: 7/27/2011 - Alek, Chloe K.
Make it or Break it by xWriteforlifex reviews
When new boy, Carlos, comes to the Anubis House, things start to heat up when his feelings for Nina become apparent. Will Fabina last? *This is a continuation of Make it or Break it by HOAdragonfly*
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 9 - Words: 6,279 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 12 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 3/8/2012 - Published: 8/5/2011 - Patricia W.
House of Anubis Returns! Season 2! by fabinaforeverandever02 reviews
Starting after prom,Nina and Fabian are finally a couple. But what happens when Fabian gets jealous of Nina's ex? Will Joy be a problem? Fluffy! Rated T for mention of rape and some snogging! FINAL CHAPTER IS UP! REVIEW!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 17 - Words: 17,132 - Reviews: 128 - Favs: 57 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 2/21/2012 - Published: 3/29/2011 - Fabian R., Nina M. - Complete
A Diffrent Ending by TheBestThingsInLifeArentThings reviews
What if the first episode was a bit different, Would there story be the same? Will be writing sequel, eventually.
Nine Lives of Chloe King - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 31,254 - Reviews: 287 - Favs: 139 - Follows: 157 - Updated: 1/17/2012 - Published: 8/11/2011 - Chloe K., Alek - Complete
House of Anubis House of Girls, House of Loves? by justswim729 reviews
What happens when Nina and Fabian spend summer together at Anubis House? When New Girls Arrive? Who will win Fabian's heart? It is love? Rated T for possible language and adult situations. Enjoy! Review! NinaxFabianxOC Love Triangle?
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 51 - Words: 53,039 - Reviews: 659 - Favs: 109 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 12/25/2011 - Published: 3/4/2011 - Complete
Haunted by dancingonathinline reviews
"This is it" I thought as our argument grew louder. I was under the assumption everything was ok between Fabian and I. Apparently I was mistaken.I could feel him slipping away and I didn't know how to stop it.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 15,219 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 12/14/2011 - Published: 4/2/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R.
The Five Worst Hours of my Life by SarahEB97 reviews
My fist story. Definitely not a drabble anymore. If Nina and Fabian ever broke up, how would they take it? How would the rest of the house take it? Why did they break up? What is Fabian hiding? What's going on! In the House of Anubis.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,215 - Reviews: 49 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 11/17/2011 - Published: 6/29/2011 - Fabian R., Nina M.
New Season, New Things by HOA718 reviews
This story takes place right after prom ends. Alot of things happen between the characters which I will no say cause it would ruin the story! Read and Review please
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,521 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 6 - Updated: 10/19/2011 - Published: 9/16/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R.
Gone by ThirteenXSeventeenXNineteen reviews
The Nine Lives of Chloe King. Alek/Chloe. Chalek. Lying there...she felt her feelings for Brian...disappearing as she stared into his eyes. They kept getting smaller and smaller until they weren't there. They didn't exist anymore. They were just… Gone.
Nine Lives of Chloe King - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,658 - Reviews: 330 - Favs: 203 - Follows: 261 - Updated: 10/8/2011 - Published: 6/28/2011 - Alek, Chloe K.
Matchmaker Paradise by TICKLES3000 reviews
Nina's back from summer vacation but with her best friend now too. Lots of love, Fabina, new couples, and reunions of family.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 28 - Words: 29,076 - Reviews: 320 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 33 - Updated: 6/30/2011 - Published: 4/15/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
Sibuna House by tlkin2much reviews
Renamed...originally 'For you, I'd do anything! Nina has it all. No Rufus, an amazing boyfriend, great friends, and a possible new member to the family but someone's return may turn everyone's world upside down! Rated T for mature scenes. Thanks for all the reviews.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 32 - Words: 43,222 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 47 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 6/24/2011 - Published: 4/10/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
6 Years Later: Sequel! by xforeverlovex21 reviews
The sequel to 6 years later! Please read that first! What happened to Jerome? Will Jina last? Or will Fabina reunite? Read to find out! :3
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,043 - Reviews: 163 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 6/22/2011 - Published: 6/6/2011 - Nina M., Jerome C. - Complete
Living Alone by McFlytheMusical reviews
There are a lot of problems in Anubis House. Nina has to deal with Joy coming back, Jerome gets a letter from his parents, Mara develops a new crush, Amber has to deal with Alfie's alien obsession and Mick, well, he's still a clueless meathead.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 5 - Words: 1,666 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 12 - Updated: 6/15/2011 - Published: 5/15/2011
House of Fish and Chips House of Matchmakers by allthepossibilities reviews
"Hey, Amber." "Yeah, Nines?" "What does stepping out mean?" I turned to Fabian and squealed. "You didn't!" Assumption- the source for many interesting events. Amber being Amber, and even Patricia doesn't pass up that chance at playing matchmaker. FABINA!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 25 - Words: 17,519 - Reviews: 239 - Favs: 105 - Follows: 76 - Updated: 6/14/2011 - Published: 2/12/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
House of waiting by Waffels12 reviews
i love fabiana.CHP 15 is up. it would be great if you guys give me so ideas.
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 15 - Words: 7,544 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 6/11/2011 - Published: 3/24/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R.
6 Years Later by xforeverlovex21 reviews
Nina makes a shocking discovery about Fabian. Who's gonna catch her when she falls? Mick? Alfie? Jerome? Or will she take Fabian back? Characters give it away. Just click the title and read the real thing:3
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 14 - Words: 12,712 - Reviews: 286 - Favs: 54 - Follows: 23 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 5/17/2011 - Nina M., Jerome C. - Complete
All Summer Long by allyouneedislove1797 reviews
Sequel to Long Live. Nina and the gang head to Amber's California Beach house for the summer...and of course drama ensues. Epilogue is up!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,026 - Reviews: 313 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 5/12/2011 - Published: 3/27/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R. - Complete
House of Another Cinderella Story by smokepelt reviews
Based off "Another Cinderella Story." After prom/summer break. Fabian is famous, Nina's cousin comes to the school... What will happen with Fabina and the rest? Read to find out!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 13,854 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 5/10/2011 - Published: 4/26/2011 - Fabian R., Nina M. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Letters From You reviews
Fabian has been ignoring nina, but the one question Nina has is... why? plz R&R! Pairings are not definate yet so just read to find out!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Mystery - Chapters: 6 - Words: 8,721 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 11/27/2011 - Published: 8/31/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R.
Nina's suffering oneshot reviews
just a oneshot!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 803 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/18/2011 - Nina M., Fabian R.
Who did it? reviews
In this story, your the detective! each chapter will give you a series of clues and hints to the person in anubis house who did the crime! new person in each chapter! If you win i will advertize your story in the next chapter!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Crime/Mystery - Chapters: 8 - Words: 3,985 - Reviews: 93 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 8/11/2011 - Published: 8/5/2011
Make it or break it reviews
What happens when Mara's cute older brother comes to live at the house? Will his crush on Nina have an effect or will Fabina make it?
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 4 - Words: 909 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/5/2011 - Published: 6/24/2011 - Nina M., Joy M.
I must be dreaming reviews
SEQUAL TO MAYBE IT WASNT MENT TO BE READ THAT FIRST! ha ha sorry but this IS the sequal to maybe it wasnt ment to be!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,619 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/28/2011 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Patricia W.
Lour Him Away From Love reviews
Nina is suffering from a broken heart.Joy is cheating behind fabes back but he doesnt know! Nina is now a famous popstar! Will Fabina happen? Youll have to read to find out! Plz review after you read!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 19,557 - Reviews: 108 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 15 - Updated: 7/28/2011 - Published: 5/11/2011
JeromeNinaLover 10 Chapter Challenge reviews
Here it is! My 10 chaper challenge!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,177 - Reviews: 7 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/15/2011 - Published: 7/14/2011
Maybe it Wasnt Ment to be reviews
Nina was gone and then she was found. Patricia likes Fabian and Fabian knows, but then Patricia likes someone else. Will patricia's love life be okay? or will Carlos and Fabian break her heart? sorry sum sucks. Read to find out more!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 19,056 - Reviews: 72 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 6/3/2011 - Published: 5/11/2011 - Fabian R.
UPICK! reviews
UPICK the story! What will i do? You get a say, and also, create a caracter to add! Plz look!
Het Huis Anubis/House of Anubis - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,048 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 6/2/2011 - Published: 5/27/2011