Author has written 26 stories for Inheritance Cycle, Labyrinth, Elder Scroll series, Harry Potter, How to Train Your Dragon, and Rise of the Guardians.
Since it has officially been about three years since I last updated my profile, you, lucky reader, get to see a new version compared to the usual drivel that adorns this page.
First of all, thank you for reading whatever you read, (it is after all highly unlikely for you to visit me in this little corner of the internet, unless you are looking for a beta reader, in which case, message away, gentle reader, I don't bite (unless you ask me to)) and I am truly very sorry, and I offer my condolences to your sanity. When is the funeral? Tuesday? I might be there, whispering along with the voices in your head.
I promise I'm not actually as creepy as I currently sound- it has been a long, long day. This is a desperate day. Those terrible days when you wake up with a ball of lead in your stomach that sinks ever deeper and spreads poisonous shadowy tendrils through your veins and you think, oh, well, today is going to be a bad day. And then you wryly curse whatever deity you may or may not believe in and get up to spread as much misery and ill cheer as you can. Just me? Ah, well.
Mayhap I have reviewed your story and you are wondering who this strange person is that has popped up in your review box.
So please, allow me to introduce a few things about myself. I am female, I give literally no shits about anyone else's opinion on who or what I should or they should be, and I am a betareader, well-experienced in the site, blah, blah, blah. Just drop me a PM and I'll do my best to help you out.
I freely admit to being obsessed with dragons...if it contains dragons, I will most likely read/watch it, and if it doesn't, I will write fanfiction where it does. I am a proud Dragon Cultist- look, I have my special white uniform the nice doctors gave me and everything.
On fandoms...I don't have a specific one but follow quite a few. Currently I'm most obsessed with Rise of the Guardians and How to Train Your Dragon, and I am a diehard Blacksand/Quicksand shipper (literally that ship sails itself) although Winter Wonderland and Blackice is also cool. All three, even better. Sandy is adorable. You can't help but want to give him a hug.
And Valka is the current bicycle of choice for the HTTYD fandom- I will ship her with literally anyone excluding Gobber and Mildew, because that really freaks me out with Mildew and I have a healthy respect for Gobber's insinuation that he is gay. I will even contentedly ship her with everyone outside the HTTYD fandom. It wounds me deeply that I and two others are the only ones who appear to even consider how fucking kickass Valka would be as Pitch's Fearling, or any Pitch/Valka. (Like can you imagine the Guardians trying to pick a fight with Pitch and then Valka comes riding out on a fucking skeletal dragon or some shit and whoops their asses.)
But not Bunny. I cannot deal with Bunnyxanyone, unless it's just background. It just creeps me out. Same with Mildew for HTTYD (though I expect I am hardly alone for that one) and Dagcup has never particularly interested me, but maybe that's because I haven't read enough of it.
Harry Potter, Bellatrix or again Narcissa are the bicycles and I will ship them with anyone, though Bella/Cissa/Hermione is always awesome, and Severus Snape x Hermione is beautiful if written well. And the Malfoy family...well. Snape/Voldemort is a no. I just can't. I just. Noope. Noooope.
Sherlock, Mystrade, Mystrade, Mystrade all the way. Molrene, too, I ship Molrene because if you ship Johnlock, and how can you not with the show being how it is, Irene and Molly are always alone. Plus I think Molly would utterly dominate Irene, which would be hilarious. I also have the unfortunate position of shipping Mycroft with most anyone, which as you can imagine, anyone who isn't Lestrade is pretty unpopular, let alone Mycriarty or Mycrene.
Labyrinth, ah, it's been a while, but definitely still a Sareth shipper. How can you not. Ingo, Faro and Sapphire all the way.
I have ranted about ships long enough. I have one massive failure when it comes to writing and that is, I waffle. Sorry, guys and gals.
Wolves and dragons are amazing, I respect anyone if they respect me, I spend too much of my life online, and I'll probably think of something I need to add to this later. But for now...
Some Common Words That Are Helpful When Trying To Read FanFiction (for those of us not yet fluent in FanFictionese)
1. Canon- From the book, of the book, completely in line with the facts stated in the book/movie. Often pairings. (Example: AryaxEragon (IH) / JarethxSarah (L) / ConorxElvira (INGO) / GinnyxHarry (HP) / uhm, Lestrade x Lestrade's wife (SH) / I can honestly not think of any canon pairings for (RoTG,) maybe Katherine x Nightlight? / HiccupxAstrid (HTTYD))
2. Non-canon- When it is not from the book. (Example: IslanzadixMurtagh (IH) / SarahxHoggle (L) / PatrikxSapphire (INGO) / DracoxHermione (HP) / MycroftxLestrade (SH) / SandyxPitch (ROTG) / HiccupxRuffnut (HTTYD))
3. Slash- Guy with guy stories. (Example: EragonxMurtagh (IH) /TobyxJareth (L) /ConorxFaro (INGO) / DracoxHarry (HP) / MycroftxJohn (SH) / PitchxJack Frost (ROTG)/ StoickxDrago (HTTYD))
4. Femeslash- Girl with girl stories. (Example: AryaxNasuada (IH) /KarenxSarah (L) /SapphirexRainbow (INGO) / HermionexBellatrix (HP) / MollyxIrene (SH)/ ToothianaxKatherine (ROTG)/ ValkaxAstrid (HTTYD))
5. Smut- M stuff, particularly what Fanfiction.net so tastefully refers to as 'Adult themes'.
6. Lemon- Really M stuff. Even worse than smut.
7. Flames- Mean reviews. When you trash a fic.
8. OC- Original Character. When you make up your own character, i.e. not a canon character.
9. OOC- Out Of Character- When a canon character is not accurate. (Example: When Galbaorix starts singing She's a Maneater running around in a pink dress (IH (although this is OOC for any villian but Pitch)) /When Jareth decides to get a life and stop obsessing over Sarah (L) /When Faro decides he's going to cut off his tail and become a gardener for Granny Carne (INGO) / When Voldemort decides he's going to set up an enviromental concern group. He just can't stand seeing those bunnies mistreated. (HP) / When Sherlock decides he detests John and everything to do with him (SH) (yeah right, we're on to you Mr Holmes) / When Jack Frost buys a private beach so he can get a really good tan. Clue's in the name. (ROTG) (melted)/ When Valka decides all dragons are evil and must be destroyed in the most painful way possibly ever conceived (HTTYD) (which would be terrifying, amirite))
10. AU- Alternate Universe- When the story is set in a different universe than that the author has created.
11. Fluff- Sweet romantic moments. No action/adventure or anything.
12. OTP- One True Pairing. This means that it's the one pairing you enjoy and stand by. (AryaxEragon (IH) / JarethxSarah (L) / FaroxSapphire (INGO)/ Narcissa x Hermione (HP) / MycroftxLestrade (SH) / SandyxPitch (ROTG)/ ValkaxAstrid (HTTYD) (It's a lonely road I walk in terms of fellow shippers, I tell you.)
13. OT3, 4, or any variation thereof- One True Threesome, Foursome, same principle as OTP. (AryaxMurtaghxIslanzadi (IH)/ JarethxMizumixSarah (L) / FaroxSapphirexRainbow (INGO) / MALFOYS (HP) / MycroftxLestradexSherlock (SH) / SandyxPitchxJack (ROTG) (there needs to be more of this) / ValkaxAstridxHiccup (HTTYD) (if you thought the previous ship was lonely, well, this really is a one girl boat.)
14. Ship- A pairing/couple. Comes from relationship.
15. One-shot; Two-shot; Three-shot- One chapter, two chapters, three chapters. One-shot is the most common of these.
16. Songfic- A fic including, or based upon, a song.
17. Mary Sue- A character (usually OC) that is favored by the author and pretty much perfect (and thus completely unbelievable) in every way. The sort of character that gets on your nerves by their very existence. (I.E, Arya, Enoby) Closely related to this is a...
18. Gary Stu- the less common male counterpart of a Mary Sue. Has all the same characteristics, but is male. (*cough cough* FanJareth *cough * cough*)
19. A/N- (Or A.N. or AN or any other variation on this theme.) Author's Note. Self-explanatory.
20. AH- All Human. All characters are human. This is not commonly seen. (yeah, just not fun if one of them doesn't have a secret penchant for munching on people (plus, HTTYD sounds much crazier if you talk about it in terms of humans...Hiccup trains a feral boy in the forest and uses him to kill a mega-bitchy lady who is bossing everyone around...Valka is kidnapped by a strange man who broke into her house, scratched her baby and then lived with her in an ice cave for twenty years...)
21. POV- Point of View.
22. R&R- Read and review!
23. Lime- Like Lemon, but not as bad.
24. Drabble- A fic that is from 50-500 words in length. Technically a fic that is under 100 words but that is quite rare.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual labels on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. ( that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
Dearest reader, if you have stuck through the waffle till the end, well done you. And thank you, sincerely, I don't get many people reading this. But also for being a part of FF.net, which is a large, and admittedly important part of my life and confidence.
Unique.F (You ever want to find out what the 'F' stands for, be brave enough to ask. You're not getting the information for free out of me. ;).)
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