Author has written 5 stories for South Park, Super Smash Brothers, and Assassin's Creed.
Some interesting and odd things that amuse me.
Think about traditional sex as a whole. Male genitalia is forced inside female genitalia, right? Well, shouldn’t French Kissing be called “Oral Sex”? I mean, a male tongue (mouth genitalia) is forced inside a female mouth (mouth genitalia). Boom. Just blew your mind.
It seems to me that in all of the teen romances, the guy and the girl meet in science class. Edward and Bella met in Biology. Nora and Patch meet in Biology. Wait. Maybe people just meet their soul mate in Biology class. Think of all of the people in your biology/other science class. Scout for your soul mate, and marry him/her.
If you can’t deliver DiGorno’s, then how do the stores get them?
You drive on a parkway and park on a driveway.
Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
Shouldn’t there be a smaller word for monosyllabic?
Do you need a silencer if you’re going to shoot a mime?
Is it a good vacuum if it really sucks?
Why do we press harder on the buttons on a remote control when we know that the batteries are dead?
What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a plane?
Are there seeing-eye humans for blind dogs?
If it’s illegal to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
10 INTERNATIONAL WORDS FOR “FART”
The word “tragedy” comes from “tragos” and “ode,” Greek words for “goat” and “song.”
In German, a “partypooper” is a “partymuffel.”
Here’s an indicator on how stupid some people are: 25% of Americans aren’t sure if the Earth revolves around the sun or vice-versa.
Pinocchio is Italian for “pine head.”
There’s actually a period of time called a “jiffy.” It’s exactly 1/1000th of a second!
The seven Gummi Bears are named Gruffi, Cubbi, Tummi, Zummi, Sunni, Gusto, and Grammi.
You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people.
Human lips don’t sweat.
When Coca-Cola first came out, cocaine was an ingredient to make you addicted.
Walt Disney, the creator of Mickey Mouse, had a phobia of mice.
“Nothing is true; everything is permitted.” Assassin’s Creed
“Winter is coming.” Game of Thrones
“What’s a ‘fang-banger’?” True Blood
“It’s a sweatshop!” My mom
“EL KABONG!” Me
“SURPRISE ATTACK TO THE FACE!” My friend’s love interest.
“I thought Marth was a girl!” Another friend
“We don’t accept your kind.” My friend
“My Prince Charming’s out there, looking for me. He just lost his GPS is all…” Me
“Your habit of punching guys just means you like it kinky!” Yet another friend
“Trap door.” Yet another another friend
“Everybody dies, but not everybody lives.” “Moment 4 Life”
“Why wouldn’t I get the context? I am the context.” We Need to Talk About Kevin
“Bitches, man.” Warm Bodies
“Why is it that all of my favorite characters in shows, movies, and books get killed brutally?” Me
How to Get the Guy of Your Dreams as if Your Life Was a Teen Romance Book.
1) Scout around in your classes, especially your science classes!
a) All of the mysterious guys who most likely have a huge and abnormal secret always sit in the farthest corner from the teacher and the closest to the door. They also have really weird names like Marshall, Edwin, or Adrian.
2) Change your name into something that is just as odd as his.
a) All pairings have odd names. Bella and Edward. Nora and Patch. Clary and Jace. Change it into something old fashioned like Estelle, Guinevere, or Jayden. It’s gotta be something cool, yet weird at the same time.
3) Act vulnerable and do things that seem to get his attention.
a) You have to be shy and blush a lot. Have some friends that will publically say stuff like, “Stay away from him! He’s dangerous!” This will give him some edge, and he’ll want to humiliate you slightly publically. Walk by him, seeming as if you don‘t know that he’s there. Dye your hair either red or brown. They seem to like that.
4) Tip the teacher off to assign him as a partner.
a) As all classics go, there’s always some project or another that the fated duo must complete while they are in school, and the teacher assigns them the partners.
5) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t forget to hate him for the first half of the school year!
a) All relationships that don’t begin with hatred always fail in the teen romance world!
Some favorite stuff…
Da Vinci’s Demons
Legend of Zelda
Game of Thrones
“Demons” Imagine Dragons
“Chocolate” The 1975
“Whispers in the Dark” Skillet
“Awake and Alive” Skillet
“The Hangman’s Body Count” Volbeat
“Heaven Nor Hell” Volbeat
“The Mirror and the Ripper” Volbeat
“Still Counting” Volbeat
“A Thousand Faces” Creed
“Save Me” Nicki Minaj
“Pour Me Out” He Is We
“Blame It on the Rain” He Is We
“Fall” He Is We
“Clique” Kanye West, Big Sean, Jay-Z
“Same Song and Dance” Eminem
“3 am” Eminem
“Some Nights” FUN.
“Out on the Town” FUN.
“Foolin’” Def Leppard
“Stage Fright” Def Leppard
“Gods of War” Def Leppard
The Breakfast Club
We Need to Talk About Kevin
Silence of the Lambs
South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
Da Vinci’s Demons
Game of Thrones
Big Bang Theory
The Chronicles of Nick
The Dark Hunters Series
Spellbound in Seattle
The Girl in the Steel Corset series
The Maximum Ride series
Assassin’s Creed series (Especially II)
Legend of Zelda (Especially Twilight Princess)
Mario (Especially Paper Mario I & II, Super Mario Sunshine, Mario Party 1-8, Mario Kart DD/Wii, Yoshi’s Island)
I can do a story request for you! If you would like one, please message me, and please give me all the specifics (fandom, characters, conflict, etc.) You could also give me ideas about a future work that you would like to see written. I will give you the credit for the idea, and I will consult you on certain problems the characters face, what role each character plays, or anything else to do with the plot. I can write all different types of genres, ratings, and pairings. The only thing that I will NOT write is smut. I am sorry, but I don’t enjoy reading smut. Fluff, I can deal with some cute fluff. All that cuddly shit is GREAT! Anywhoodles, those are my limits on what I can and will do. Just message me, and we’ll be in business!
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