Teanna
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Joined 11-07-02, id: 290949, Profile Updated: 10-23-15
Author has written 10 stories for Lord of the Rings.

Wild horses could...

...and have dragged me off on many adventures, which is why you'll find so many horses in my tales. They've tried to teach this block headed human about "the elvish way with all good beasts" with a little success. A few have been legitimate wild mustangs, particularly the wise black mare with the star like Earendil's: Olori Eldalie, and I still can't find the funny little dotty thing that goes over the e...

I have trained a 3 1/4 dog mushing team (which mostly runs on wheels)... ask me about Max the Hobbit Husky.

I've carved The Gourd of the Rings underwater, jumped off a perfectly good floatin' boat in the middle of the ocean to look at a sunken one, kayaked mosquito infested salt marshes, backpacked the edge of the world (a barrier island called Assateague), thrown up a tent in a sandstorm (Assateague beach in a bit of wind... fun), spent one Halloween and an earthquake on pirate ships (Pride of Baltimore II and Kalmar Nyckel, they do public sails), slept rolled in a wool cloak by campfires and under a faering boat (the Vikings' version of a pickup truck), discovered tipis are the Ultimate Tent, spent Thanksgiving with the Indians and one Halloween working with a lovely young man with a great Dracula accent... because he was, in fact, from Transylvania.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

As a wildlife rehab volunteer I have wrangled emus (designed to shed lariats, and they kick), otters (they can bite through 6 mil dive gloves), various raptors (little feathery ones, I am not as cool as Chris Pratt), driven in a van with a vomiting vulture (ugh!), been "handcuffed" to a perch by Iris the One Eyed Owl, discovered that you (gently) herd porcupines with a shovel, learned that Bambi is armed with four sets of kung-fu blades (hooves, sharp, fast, ow), learned to love vultures, especially Khan the Black Vulture who liked earrings and untying shoelaces, and wrestled one (very small) tiger.

I could not make this stuff up.

Adventure is out there. And it's not expensive. Go have one.

Then write more stuff.

I have named several trucks, vans, horses, dogs, cats, kayaks and their paddles in Elvish. I live with Legolas (pointy ears, runs on snow) and Nightcrawler (dark, fuzzy, pointy eared and definitely bamfs). Also named a pygmy goat Gimli.

Anything else you want to know (bwa ha ha!) is on my website: just google swordwhale, I am Swordwhale Walking: Illustration and Swordwhale: Earth Life Fandom (wordpress). This (ifit shows up OK): http:///

My Life in Fandom (and other stuff you should skip to read the actual stories)

Step into the tardis... we're going to 1977:

Star Wars had just hit the silver screen, and I was hooked. A fellow fan dumped a pile of verbiage in my hands and said, "read this, it's good."

I stared at the immense stack and thought "Lo! In my copious free time... somewhere in the 21st century." The Immensity was of course, Lord of the Rings.

Somewhat later, I borrowed a tent from a second cousin twice removed, so I could spend a week on a desert island called Assateague. He told me about this game they played: D&D. I showed up, rolled up a character, waved the paper at the DM and said, "What do I make of this?"

"Play an Elf."

"What?" You mean like Herbie, in Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer?

"It's Hermey. Read Lord of the Rings."

I did, in 1978. Many years, many fantasy illustrations, several fanfics, essays and re-readings later, I'm still a fan of the original fantasy epic that spawned the rest (LOTR was born the same year I was). The Professor has inspired me to go on a few adventures of my own, and find my own world and characters and write about them.

I grew up on westerns (TV was full of them), Star Trek (TOS), spy and cop shows. The old Superman series introduced me to superheroes. I read fairy tales, horse stories, and the odd wilderness adventure. I loved the Jungle Book... the BOOK (also liked the Disney film, though why they made Kaa a villain is beyond me!). Disney was a huge influence: we watched The Wonderful World of Color on a black and white TV. Then Star Wars, the re-emergence of Star Trek, some Asimov and Clark, that dragonlady Anne McCaffery, Nancy Springer, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park and some other great stuff. I did conventions back in the 80s and cosplayed before they invented the word. In those days, you could walk down the convention halls in full armour with real swords... and then go to the mall in the same costume. In our present paranoid world... not so much.

I had heard of Doctor Who all along, but was unable to watch it regularly until 2014. I love it. I envision binge-watching 50 years of it soon.

Sherlock is brilliant. I had read the books back in high school, and the BBC version is a wonderful adaptation.

Of course I have seen the Princess Bride a gazillion times.

And Marvel Comics! Avengers! X-Men!

Pixar! Hiyao Miyazaki! Dreamworks!

I am aware of some of the more recent fandoms but don't have time to watch all of them, because I want to keep writing my own stories.

Find me on Inkitt (updated fanfic and original stories) under Teanna or link from my website. This (if it shows up): http:///teanna

Friends Like You by Jomel10 reviews
Chapter 2 up at last - Sequel to Tough Love - The boys have to face a foe from their past, corruption and even a major test in their own friendship. Things are about to get interesting...
Starsky and Hutch - Rated: T - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,425 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 7/28/2004 - Published: 3/18/2004
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That Darn Elf a random musing reviews
a random musing on the character of the Elf in the Fellowship, and on the Elven Archetype in general
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 27,030 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/23/2015 - Published: 2/7/2004 - Legolas
Faithful Sidekick reviews
a musing on an obscure Tolkien character without whom many things in Middle-earth would not have come to pass.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 12,435 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 3 - Updated: 10/23/2015 - Published: 2/21/2004
Legolas Shall Be For The Elves reviews
Powerful Elf Lord Glorfindel saves Frodo at the Ford, so why didn't he go with the Fellowship? Hobbits, Legolas and Elrond's best piepan had something to do with it...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 3,190 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 131 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 10/23/2015 - Published: 11/21/2002 - Legolas, Elrond - Complete
One Good Archer of Mirkwood reviews
The leader of a mule train delivering supplies through Mirkwood needs a few dozen archers to combat the orcs. What she gets is a dork.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 14,366 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 10/23/2015 - Published: 11/10/2002 - Legolas
The Elvish Way With All Good Beasts reviews
"...and Arod was tame and willing beneath him, for such was the elvish way with all good beasts"... but what if Legolas wasn't always so adept at horsemanship?
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Adventure - Chapters: 6 - Words: 11,047 - Reviews: 33 - Favs: 36 - Follows: 8 - Updated: 10/22/2015 - Published: 2/1/2003
A Musing on Elves, Dwarves, Archetypes and Favorite Characters reviews
...an Elf and a Dwarf walk Into a meade hall, and find out they have something in common... "In The Hobbit, what character did you most identify with and why?" That was the question on a recent survey. I thought about it, about my long immersion in Tolkien fandom, always on the side of the Elves. And how thirteen of the most awesome characters ever changed my mind.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,669 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Published: 2/14/2013 - Elf, Dwarf
If Wishes Were Elves, Even Fangirls Would Dance reviews
We've done it now! Our favorite Elves are blundering around 21st century Pennsylvania. Sweet! But we have to put them back; we've horribly changed the tales they came from. Only we don't know how...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Humor - Chapters: 6 - Words: 139,230 - Reviews: 45 - Favs: 25 - Follows: 5 - Updated: 2/29/2004 - Published: 1/30/2004 - Legolas, Gimli
To The Sea reviews
A musing on Elves, gulls, Middle Earth and the potent imagery of water.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy/Spiritual - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,579 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 2 - Published: 2/1/2003 - Legolas
Thulesilme's Children reviews
Gimli had promised to travel with Legolas in Fangorn. He did not expect wayward kids, lost puppies, or the invasion of the sheep.
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 28,162 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 1/11/2003 - Legolas, Gimli
Viagraquenta reviews
Legolas Greenleaf, long under tree, in joy thou hast lived, beware of the screams, of zillions of ardent teenagery girls...
Lord of the Rings - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Poetry - Chapters: 1 - Words: 352 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2002 - Legolas