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Author has written 6 stories for Hunger Games, Gone, and Maximum Ride.
I like to read, draw, climb, and do a bunch of other stuff too, but I'm too lazy to write it down :P
Books: Gone, Maximum Ride, The Hunger Games, The Mysterious Benedict Society, The 39 Clues, Percy Jackson
TV Shows/Movies: Psych, Tower Prep, Unnatural History, The Clone Wars (Shut up, it's good!), Terra Nova, X-men, Unforgettable
I live in an alternate universe where Cato and Clove won the Games instead of Katniss and Peeta, Finnick and Prim lived, along with Cinna, Darius, and Lavinia. :)
-The Hunger Games: Glimmer POV
Basically the Hunger Games through Glimmer's eyes, but there are a few surprising twists.
-What would happen if?
A bunch of random GONE oneshots that are pretty crazy.
-Don't Waste It
Sam and Dekka
Possible stories: These aren't all official and will probably change a little if I end up publishing them.
A fic where Cato and Clove win the games and go on to start the rebellion, probably a trilogy that kinda mirrors the real one.
- The Maximum Game
A Maximum Ride/Hunger Games crossover. Max lives in District 5 (Scientific Exploration). Her father is a mad scientist named Jeb, and he gave her bird genes so now she's 98% human, 2% bird. The thing is, it's a secret. But then she's reaped, and her best friend Dylan is reaped as well. With dark, brooding, Fang as her mentor, Iggy and Nudge as her and Dylan's stylists, and Angel and Gazzy as avoxes, this is sure to be one of the wildest Games yet.
-Not So Perfect After All
Dylan came from a whole other flock engineered to be the perfect match of Max's. But both of these flocks aren't just going to take their fate as it comes... they're going to fight. And maybe, just maybe, the enemy will not be just who they thought it was... takes place after ANGEL.
Allie. Drake's secret girlfriend. Trapped in the FAYZ, where secrets are harder and harder to keep. Where loved ones are harder and harder to protect. Where sanity is harder and harder to cling to. Where being able to see the future is very, very dangerous.
Panemian Idol with BigFan1500
-The Hunger Games, with an absolutely ridiculous American Idol twist.
-All that matters
Um, so one time my friend accidentally put Gale/Glimmer as one of her favorite pairings, so I thought to myself, what the shuck, why not?
-Not over you
Diana/Caine songfic; despite the fact that I hate Caina, I think this song fits.
-Valentine's day in the FAYZ
Wow, you couldn't figure out what this was about from the title? *rolls eyes*
I just realized something. I have never read/watched a movie or tv show about/met someone named John under 20 who I didn't like. Not LIKE like, but like.
Here are my pics from my Glimmer story:
The Maximum Ride Conspiracy theory:
JP was amazed at how wonderful his Maximum Ride series had turned out. So he decided to write more. But, alas (yes, I just pulled an 'alas,' suck it up), he had other books to write, such as Alex Cross and Woman's Murder club or whatever things he writes. So he decided, why not have my staff write the rest of my books? No one will know! MWAHAHAHAHA! So we were then attacked by a barrage of global warning propaganda, FAXness, lame plots, pathetic love triangles, evil little girls, and bubbles of snot. In other words, total crap. No one seemed to notice the problem with these sad excuses for sequels, until one day, a girl names FloridaGirl11 came along. She exposed JP's dishonesty to the world, and JP lived the rest of his life in shame. The end.
Max- In books one through three, Max was cool. She could fight, she was not very girly, and there was just the right amount of romantic tension between her and Fang. But then, in books four through seven, she became a brat who took ten pages to tell explicitly how she was NOT a girly girl and was a TOTAL tomboy, then proceeded to spend the next ten pages to make out with Fang, whine about her love life, and moan about how she's not pretty. She also became an obsessive and over-controling b-witch. She was all over Dylan in Angel, and yet, she would't let her ex date anyone else. How pathetic is that? She really needs a life. (She has also developed the tendency to create lists and write poems in books four through seven, part of my basis for this)
Fang- In books one through three, Fang was a bad-donkey fighter who didn't talk much and acted as a fatherly figure towards the flock. In books four through seven, Fang's only purpose was to make out with Max to fill the spaces in the already flawed plots of the books.
Iggy- In books one through three, things would be different if he just vanished from the series. In books four through seven, him vanishing wouldn't affect the plot at all, except for the fact that there would be no one to offer to pee on Gazzy after he got attacked by a Portuguese Man-of-War.
Nudge- What the heck, Nudge? You used to be cool. In the first three books, you were funny and talkative and sweet. In the rest you were a whiny brat who was all "I just wanna be normal, why can't I be normal?" Why can't you be normal? if I recall correctly, in book one you said something to the effect of "I mean, all those poor kids down there are worrying about homework or cleaning their room, and we get to fly around up here, we're so lucky!" You are now a whiny brat. You disgust me.
Gazzy- That's right. Gazzy. The kid who practically didn't EXIST in books four through seven. You might remember him from the first part of the series.
Angel- Oh wow, where do I even start? Book 1: "I love you best, too, Max" Book 6: "Get out of here Max, no one likes you!" WTH, Angel? W. T. H. Actually, kudos to Angel for seeing that Max has become a b-witch, and kicking her out. But still! Talk about sudden character change! However, I do like her, because in ANGEL, Angel says "Max, I know it's hard to let go, but just choose Fang or choose Dylan and stop whining about it." WOOHOO, ANGEL! My thoughts exactly.
I saw something like this on B Symphony's profile, so I thought wth y not?
GONE yearbook awards!
Most popular- Caine "fearless leader" Soren
Most hated- Tyler "Bug"
Most likely to die at a young age- Pete "Little Pete" Ellison
Most likely to commit suicide- Lana "The Healer" Arwen Lazar
Most likely to become president- Astrid "Astrid the Genius" Ellison
Most likely to get arrested- Drake "Whiphand" Merwin
Most likely to die from tripping over their own shoelaces- Quinn Gaither
Most likely to be a movie star- Diana Ladris
Most likely to die of insanity- Sam "School Bus Sam" Temple
I'll add some more when I update my story.
9. Little Pete
Have you ever read a 6/11 fanfic before?
Brianna/Albert? Nope, and I don't wanna
Do you think 4 is hot? How hot?
Orc? No. Not.
What would happen if 12 got 8 pregnant?
Do you recall any fics about 9?
LP? No, actually
Would 2 and 6 make a good couple?
Dekka/Brianna? No. Sadly for 2, no.
5/9 or 5/10?
Gaiaphage/LP or Gaiaphage/Lana? Bwahahahaha those would be funny would be funny
What would happen if 7 walked in on 2 and 12 in an awkward situation?
Edilio/Howard/Dekka? He would be like. "Ummmmm, uhhhhhhh, sorry, im, uhhhh, gonna leave now, uhhh bye?" and slowly back away with his eyes closed.
Make up a summary of a 3/10 fic.
Sam/Lana? That would be cute... ok, here it goes. it would be called healing. and yes I know this is cheesy, i would never write this. "Lana can heal almost everything. But can she heal Sam's broken heart?"
Is there any such thing as a 1/8 fluff?
Drake/Quinn? No, just no.
Suggest a title for a 7/12 hurt/comfort fic.
If you wrote a Song-fic about 8, what song would you choose?
I dunnno... my mind is blank
If you wrote a 1/6/12 fic, what would the warning be?
WARNING: BRIANNA WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH DRAKE UNTIL JEALOUS HOWARD KILLS HIM.
When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I have never read one, surprisingly
(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (7). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (6).
Drake and Edilio are in a happy relationship until Little Pete runs off with Edilio. Drake, brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with Albert and a brief unhappy affair with Howard, then follows the wise advice of the Gaiaphage (oh, the irony! XD) and finds true love with Brianna.
What title would you give this fic?
Happy Ending :) (They ARE kinda cute)
10 invites 4 and 8 to their house for dinner
Lana invites Orc and Quinn.
Lana: Hey Quinn.
Quinn: Hey Lana.
Orc: Beer me!
Orc: I said beer me!
Orc: Why won't anyone beer me!?
Quinn: Way to ruin the moment, brah!
Lana: Yeah, can't you take a hint?
Orc: WAAAAAAAAAAH! WHY WON'T ANYONE BEER ME?!
6 and 11 are in the middle of a game of scrabble
Brianna: ZIIIIIP! Wow that word was worth a hundred and 72 points!
Albert: You play too fast!
Brianna: It's your turn!
Albert: Hmm, let me consider all the possible outcomes and decide which one would be more favorable to me...
Brianna: Too slow! I quit! Bye!
Albert: (oblivious)(one hour later) I have considered my options and concluded that... Snap! She left!
4 and 7 are in love but don't know how to tell each other. 9 looks on.
Eldilo: Erm, so, uh...
Little Pete: Hungry in the dark!
Edilio: Never mind!
Howard: Get over here and beer me, Howard!
4 and 7 adopt each others' languages to express their feelings. 9 looks on.
Eldilio: I love you so now you can beer me!
Orc: I'm in love with you, dear Edilio!
Little Pete: Beddy boody, beddy boody!
3 and 5 show up drunk to 1 and 9’s joint birthday party.
Sam and Gaiaphage to Drake and Little Pete.
Sam: Let's party! Aww darn, no one here is my friend!
Drake: I'm gonna whip you, that's why I invited you, so I could whip you!
Gaiaphage: SERVE ME!
Little Pete: Window seat!
Drake: MWAHAHAHAHA! I AM A PSYCHOPATH!
Little Pete: Nestor, Nestor, Nestor!
Drake: Little Petard!
Sam: Don't insult my girlfriend's little bro!
Gaiaphage: I WILL EAT YOU ALL!
Drake: Petard, Petard!
Little Pete: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Drake: Shut the hell up!
Gaiaphage: I HATE YOU NEMISIS, DRAKE, WHIP HIM!
Drake: I don't feel like it, I'd rather whip Sam!
Drake: OWWWWWWWWWWWW! OKAY I'LL WHIP HIM!
Sam: Haha, loser! Wait a second, oh no, now he'll whip me!
Drake: Wow, great idea Sam!
Suggest a plot idea for a 3/11 fic.
Sam and Albert fight over whether they should have bertos.
What would 6 buy 9 for their birthday?
What would you think if you found out 5 is related to you?
OHHHH NOOO! I can picture it:
Gaiaphage: Little Pete never told you what happened to your father.
Me: He told me enough! He told me you killed him!
Gaiaphage: No, FloridaGirl11, I am your father.
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What would you think if 1 went emo?
I would not be surprised AT ALL
You just came home from school and all of your friends hate you, your teacher just gave you an F on the most important project of the year (just imagine it happened for the smart alecks out there), and your parents have grounded you as your teacher had already called and told them of your grade. You open the door to your bedroom and you find 10 rummaging through your stuff. What do you do?
Hi Lana, your cool!
What would you do if 4 gave you a daisy right now?
Awww thanks Edilio!
7,9, and 4 have banded together at 3:00 am. They sneak into your room and then start singing the most annoying song you know as loud as they can, waking you up. What is your reaction?
Little Pete: He's hungry in the dark!
Orc: Beer me!
Edilio: Hey Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today, hey Ferb... (My sis was watching Phineas and Ferb, and geez, that song is annoying) wait why aren't you guys singing?
What would 8 say if 1 and 5 got married?
How do you marry a glowing green rock, brah? I think he's controlling your mind, Drake.
What would 6 most likely buy at Target?
Would you rather be related to 10 or 9?
Definately 10, because if I was related to LP I'd be related to Astrid and I don't like her at all.
How would you feel if 2 dissed you in the worst possible way?
I would b kinda sad cuz I like Dekka
How would you react if you saw 8 and 11 in a closet with a rubber ducky?
I would just shut the door, and walk away.
What would be a good title for a fic about 12?
What would be the genre?
Okay I'm done! BTW I set you up on a date with 2.
You know what Mommy
You went to the doctor today.
I can hear that doctor again.
Every Abortion Is Just . . .
One more heart that was stopped.
Post this on your profile if you are against abortion
If you rearrange the following words, you'll find that the same letters spell the given definition. Someone out there either has too much spare time, or is really good at Scrabble.
Dormitory: Dirty room
Astronomer: Moon starer
George Bush: He bugs Gore
The eyes: They see
Slot machine: Cash lost in me
Desperation: A rope ends it
Presbyterian: Best in prayer
Election results: Lies! Let's recount
Snooze alarm: Alas! no more z's
Eleven plus two: Twelve plus one
Mother in law: Woman Hitler
The Morse code: Here come dots
A decimal point: I'm a dot in place
If you would be a proud freak in the FAYZ put this in your profile.
If you want to kill Zil (haha that rhymed) put this in your profile.
If you love Quinn put this in your profile.
If you feel sorry for Orc put this in your profile.
If you love GONE and can't live without it put this in your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because Jesus says in the Bible, "if you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven."
A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year.
She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger.
When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it.
However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.
She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection.
Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her.
When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.
Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry.
Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station.
She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.
The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him.
She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before.
When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed.
The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her.
She asked if they would ask the man one question.
She was curious as to why he had not attacked her.
When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her."
You're never alone...
93 Percent Of the people who read this won't repost it.
Don't be one of those people.
Believe in God and he'll always be there to protect you.
A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
Now... make a wish.
48 q's about me
1, What color is your toothbrush?
Pink and white
2, Name one person who made you smile today:
3, What were you doing at 8 am this morning:
Being bored to death in choir singing "Zither Zinga Zing" which is LAME.
4, What were you doing 45 minutes ago?
GChat with Rachel
5, What is your favorite candy bar?
6, What is the last thing you said aloud?
7, What is your favorite ice cream flavor?
Gold Medal Ribbon
8, What was the last thing you had to drink?
9, Do you like your wallet?
I don't have one
10, What was the last thing you ate?
11, Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
No I hate shopping and I avoid It whenever possible -_- You will also never catch me dead in any type of makeup besides concealer
12, The last sporting event you watched?
Baseball because they had it on instead of Terra Nova - grrr.
13, What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?
14, Who is the last person you sent a text message too?
15, Ever go camping?
Yes at a zoo (don't ask)
16, Do you take vitamins daily?
17, Do you go to church every Sunday?
18, Do you have a tan?
19, Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
No, pizza rocks!
20, Do you drink your soda with a straw?
I hate soda so no.
21, What did your last text message say?
22, What are you doing tomorrow?
Going to school, doing homework, lame stuff like that
23, Look to your left, what do you see?
24, What color is your watch?
Black and silver
25, What do you think of when you hear Australia?
26, What is your birthstone?
Pearl I think
27, Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru?
28, What is your favorite number?
29, Who's the last person you talked to on the phone?
30, Any plans today?
ummmm eat dinner and finish homework and watch psych.
31, How many states have you lived in?
32, Biggest annoyance right now?
Kansas! UGH it's AWFUL here I HATE it and Florida and Virginia are so much better! Moving sux.
33, Last song listened to?
Breathe, Taylor Swift
34, Can you say the alphabet backwards?
35, Do you have a maid service clean your house?
36, Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
37, Are you jealous of anyone?
My friends who live in FL and this kid in my class moving to FL and everyone in VA and everyone in FL
38, Is anyone jealous of you?
39, Do you love anyone?
My family and friends and that's it.
40, Do any of your friends have children?
No unless you count like my parents and aunts and stuff
41, What do you usually do during the day?
WRITING, music, computer, awesome swing outside which is now 1000 miles away thank u very much, TV, book, i dunno
42, Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
43, Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
No I say yo or hey or hihi
44, What color is your car?
45, Do you like cats?
Little boy cats who are actually girls only (PLEASE don't ask)
46. Are you thinking about someone right now?
47, Have you ever been to Six Flags?
48, How did you get your worst scar?
I have no idea how I got it. Isn't that pathetic?
Repost this if you truly believe in God.
Jesus had no servants, yet they called him Master...
@(*-*)@ princess leia
~~~()_)~~~ a role of toilet paper
~(8-(|).) homer simpson
(^=-=^) a cat
>:-) a vampire
=:-O a person who saw a vampire
(^@=-=@^) a cat who saw a vampire
:-(#) a person with braces
|_|-- a marshmallow on a stick
/OO\ darth vader
:-(|) someone who overuses lip plumper
:-(|#|) someone who overuses lip plumper and has braces
Repost this if you love emoticons!
Are you a Hunger Games freak?
ugggg don't make me choose between Cato and Clove
Finnick or Johanna
The part where Clove almost killed Katniss and Cato alomost killed Peeta (They actually did kill Katniss and Peeta in my dream world XD)
Cato + Clove
I TOLD you i'm not gonna choose between Cato and Clove
Team Cato and Clove
What do you think?
That's cute, ok.
No, johanna deserves better
If you say so
If Katniss didn't win the Games...
CATO AND CLOVE DID!!!! CUZ THEY ROCK LIKE THAT!!!!
If Peeta died...
If Gale died...
If Finnick died...
He did, smarties. i cried when i read the book. but now i wouldn't cuz i dont like him as much.
If Rue lived...
She would die so cato and clove could win
If Haymitch stopped drinking...
he would eat cake instead and get fat. (sorry that was totally random)
If Katniss chose Peeta...
lalalala i cant hear u...
If Katniss chose Gale...
If President Snow died...
a bunch of dudes would loot his mansion
If Voldemort took over...
idc i dont like harry potter
Worst Book Ever Awards! (Copy and paste onto your profile if you agree)
1.) The Uglies Trilogy The story had potential, but the author ruined it. ~(Tallys perspective) Book 1- I love David. book 2- I want to kill David. book 3- I want to kill David in the most painful ways possible.~ In the second book, if I heard the word bogus, pretty-making, or any name followed by a -wa, I was going to tear the book to shreds and throw those in the fire, then throw the ashes at the author. Plus, this is what i found on the back of the book. "Don't forget to read the rest of the trilogy! And look out for the 4th book!" 4th book in a trilogy? Thats a quadrilogy! Your award is... Nothing! How bogus is that!
2.) Twilight The only reason Edward likes Bella is because she smells good. There's something wrong with that. Plus, he watches her sleep. How dose Bella not realize how creepy that is? The first book was good by itself. Bella never needed to become a vampire. It would be a sweet, simple ending with them dancing at the prom. Edward not caring whether she aged, just knowing she will smell good for the rest of her life. But no. She had to add in Jacob (who I support because he is not a stalker) and create all of this drama. The story line is good, but the author herself is not exactly good on description and whatnot. Your award is... One super saver cupon for a $10 discount on becoming human again at that random shop over there! *Coupon not activated until 5 downpayments of death have been payed off.
3). The Iron King (for me this describes harry potter. sorry hp fans!) It just dragggsss oooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn aaaaaannnnddddd oooooooooonnnnnn aaanddd ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnn. Some parts are very awkward. Your award is... A bomb! Yaaaaayyyyyyy! Boom!
Now, lets give our contenders a warm round of applause! Nobody claps. Only a lone voice of "You stink!" is heard. Well, that's it for today folks! More to come! (Lets not hope anytime soon.)
This is a true story:
Her dad was a drunk
Her only friend
She always talked to it
Until her parents
A bruise on her leg
But she grabs her bear
She sits in the corner
Such a bad life
Then one night
Then her mom suddenly
She thrusted the blade
The mom walked out
Police showed up
One officer slowly
It must have been bad
(add this to your profile if you're against child abuse)
1. Favourite Perdido Beach kid? Dekka is awesome! And John and Quinn and Edilio!
2. Favourite Coates kid? Totally Drake
3. Favourite couple? Dekka and Sam (ik that's not a real pairing but they WOULD be good together if she wasn't lesbian)
4. Least favourite couple? Sam and Astrid (I'm sorry but she is SO FREAKIN ANNOYING!)
5. Favourite part of each book? Gone- when Mary was like "Take care of the prees, I'll be right back!" and John's like "Okay. I'll wipe butts." It made me laugh.
Hunger- When Orsay was in LP's dream. And then when LP was like "He's hungry. Hungry in the dark." Bcuz that's when I figured everything out. Like, you know, when everything just falls into place? That was me when I read that.
Lies- When Nerezza was flirting with Zil, and he was like "uhh, gah."
Plague - When Sam was like, "You know I love you, right?" and she's like "Love you too, Sam" cuz that was cute. And the part where she was like "NOOOOOOOOO! SAM! YOU PROMISED!" and he was torn with agony :)
6. Least favourite character? Astrid, Zil, and Caine because of what he did in PLAGUE
7. What do you think of Zil? He should've died a slower and painfuler death OR ran off with Nerezza
8. Favourite coyote? Pack Leader
9. Who has the best power? Taylor
10. Worst power? Orc
11. Computer Jack and Brianna or Dekka and Brianna? Computer Breeze
13. Saddest death? Hunter
14. I think that Drake with a girlfriend is cute he needs one to help him get over his issues.
15. I might pair...
Howard with Mary
Penny with Bug
Quinn with Diana or Lana
Sanjit with someone -_-
Orc with Astrid
The Artful Roger with Dahra
Zil with Nerezza
Albert with Mary
Orsay with She's coolio on her own and she's kind of 12
Brother John with Someone we haven't met yet and her name is... uh... Nikki??????
Good Things Come In Threes-
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
THREE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY:
THREE THINGS YOU REALLY DON'T LIKE :
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE GENDER THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW:
THREE CAREERS YOU'VE CONSIDERED:
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
16 Things to do when you're in Wal-Mart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"
Top 71 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator
1. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
2. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
3. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
4. Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.
5. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
6. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
7. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
8. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.
9. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.
10. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.
11. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
12. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
13. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
14. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"
15. Swat at flies that don't exist.
16. Tell people that you can see their aura.
17. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.
18. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
19. open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"
20. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
21. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
22. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
23. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
24. make loud buzzing noises when anyone presses a button.
25. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".
26. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"
27. Put police tape in front of the door before entering.
28. Hold an auction.
29. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.
30. Ask every passenger coming if you can borrow a tampon. Especially effective if victim is male. Even more effective if you yourself are male.
31. Throw a rave.
32. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."
33. Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".
34. Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.
35. Have a heated debate with yourself.
36. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.
37. Drum on every available surface.
38. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.
39. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.
40. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.
41. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.
42. Propose to the other passengers.
43. Challenge people to duels.
44. Sell scout cookies.
45. Bring a large pile of ice. Build an igloo on the floor.
46. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."
47. Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.
48. Stick your tongue out. Act like it's a cigarette, and ask someone for a lighter.
49. Pitch a tent on the floor, and "camp out" for the weekend.
50. Play "I've got your nose" with the other passengers.
51. Shout "Food fight!"
52. Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"
53. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
54. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.
55. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance!
56. Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"
57. Make sushi.
59. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's IT'S !" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.
60. Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.
61. Practice your kung fu.
62. Make race car noises when people get on and off.
63. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"
64. Fly a airplane.
65. Do yoga.
66. Play the accordion
67. Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.
68. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.
69. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.
70. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."
71. Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .
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