Author has written 3 stories for Prince of Tennis.
Hi everyone, my name is Clarissa and you can call me Clary~ I’ll be your host for today! I’ve been reading fanfiction since a long time ago, actually, but I’ve never had the courage to make an account, but since my good friend Lilianne here offered to be with me through it all, I’m here~! Yey!
Lia: Actually, it’s not so much offered as it was forced. Don’t mind her much, everyone, she’s always hyper.
Clary: AM NOT! You’re such a bitch sometimes, Lia. You have to be all cheerful and everything and say hi to all the people viewing our profile~!
Lia: ... Hi to all the people viewing our profile (is this even a profile?)... Yeah, okay. Just so everybody knows, I’m here because Issa over here is too much of a wuss to make an account by herself so I had to make her one and everything. I was just dragged here, and had I any other choice, I’d be far, far away right now.
Clary: She’s LYING folks, don’t believe half the things she says, Lia is an accomplished liar. (sticks tongue out at Lia) And MY NAME IS CLARY.
Lia: I resent that. And your name is not Clary, it’s ISSA. It has been since first grade, when your name had been too much of a mouthful for everybody. CLARY is the name of that girl in that series that you’ve been reading.
Clary: And her name is CLARISSA, which means that I have every right to be Clary. (HAH. I AM COMPLETELY JUSTIFIED.) Anyway~ if anyone’s asking, I’M the author here and Lia is my editor.
Lia: Editor my foot. Here’s the correct version: ISSA over here writes stories, yeah? She has more than two dozen of them, all about Prince of Tennis, all unfinished. If you want to know why, it’s because Issa brainstorms over all the events of her stories in the first week, starts to write, forgets everything she’s brainstormed about in the second week but continues to write, anyway, and then loses interest on the third week. None of her stories get finished EVER, they just take up space in her laptop’s hard drive, so she needs someone to keep her in line.
Clary: So I hired Lia as my editor~ (MY NAME IS CLARY, BITCH!)
Lia: Oh, joy. She didn’t ‘hire’ me (I’m not paid) and she doesn’t even let me touch her story. And as you guys may have already noticed, she has a problem with sentences and punctuations. Issa happens to like the comma very much, so there is an excess of commas because she fuses god knows how many sentences together into one sentence and connects them with commas. But I can’t correct them because she freaks out when I do. I’m not your editor, ISSA.
Clary: Yes, you are. SHE’S my EDITOR. She makes sure I write my story and everything.
Lia: Someone has to, or it’ll end up just like all her other unfinished stories.
Clary: (nods) Uhuh. Did you guys know, she even made me submit a detailed description of my story to her up until the ending, just like any real editor would.
Lia: I have to take my ‘job’ seriously. Besides, this way, if she forgets, I have a copy of what exactly she wants to happen so she won’t lose interest.
Clary: So, that’s us, we make up StarlightWeavers~!
Lia: ... I had nothing to do with that name.
Clary: I made it! (smileys)
Lia: Actually, I told her to name herself Profanity Box or something like that.
Clary: Oh my gawd, Lia. Who would want to read a story from an author whose penname is Profanity Box?
Lia: Well, it’s more truthful. Issa spouts profanity like there’s no tomorrow. She writes profanity like there’s no tomorrow, too. (And don’t bother denying it, I read your story. Thrice. And I suspect I’ll be reading some more, considering you’re not finished yet.)
Clary: I wasn’t gonna deny it~ Life’s short, so we have to live a little. Right everyone? (I SAID MY NAME IS CLARY!!!!)
Lia: Well, if you live too much, you get grounded. (ISSA. I’LL CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT TO. And if you’re going to delete this or change my Issa’s to Clary’s, I’m going to tell Aunt Anna that YOU were the one who destroyed her rosebushes.)
Clary: I didn’t mean to. Besides, it’s not like the damn flowers died or anything.
Lia: They DID. Your mom bought new ones. Issa is a plant murderer.
Clary: I ALREADY SAID I DIDN’T MEAN TO.
Lia: Whatever. Just so you guys know, the reason why we’re arguing over trivial things you could care less for is because we have this ‘no deleting’ rule, so we’d BOTH be able to express ourselves freely. (Except for Issa’s profanities. I had to delete most of them, or we’d be run out of this site faster than she could say ‘my name is Clary’, which it’s not)
Clary: What is it with you French people...? (It is TOO Clary!)
Lia: I’m only half-French, Issa, it doesn’t even count. Besides, that’s not nice. Would you like it if I say, what is it with you Americans?
Clary: I’m THREE QUARTER AMERICAN!!!! Damn it, Lia.
Lia: Okay fine, then. What is it with you three quarters-American and a quarter-Spanish people?
Clary: We’re AWESOME, that’s what. Be awed by our AWESOMENESS. We are so fucking AWESOME, we’re AWESOME~
Lia: Sometimes, I don’t understand why we’re friends.
Clary: We’re friends because Mom and Aunt Alice are friends and because you are dazzled by my AWESOMENESS. By the way, Aunt Alice is French and she’s the best adult in the entire world, I don’t know what happened to you, Lia, you must have been born with a stick up your ass or something.
Lia: (rolls eyes) ... Fuck you.
Clary: Hah~~~~~~~~ Yey~ I made you swear!!!!!! I have GOT to tell Nate.
Lia: Nate (is Issa’s younger brother) doesn’t care. I don’t know how he stands you. You’re impossible to live with and he must be horribly traumatized by now.
Clary: He’s a bad seed. He swears more than I do.
Lia: He’s only copying what he sees, Issa. Anyway, I’m not as much of a killjoy as you think I am. I mean, for one, I watch anime.
Clary: Yep, so do I, but you don’t have other friends aside from me.
Lia: I do, too. I have a LOT of friends. I just don’t go to clubs with them.
Clary: That’s what friends are for, Lia. Partying~~
Lia: Oh, yeah, sure, I’m very enlightened. (Note the sarcasm)
Clary: Isn’t that right everybody? Isn’t it fun when you party with friends?????
Lia: It is, but partying is so much more than getting drunk and throwing up and having hang-overs in the morning.
Clary: That only happens sometimes, or Mom will kill me. Besides, we’re sixteen, perfect age for getting drunk (and puking in the morning).
Lia: Unlike you, I care about my liver. And I don’t want to get myself drunk so I could call my friends in the middle of the night to tell them I have a massive crush on... –coughs-
Clary: I DID NOT DO THAT. Ever. I don’t remember ever doing that!!!!
Lia: That’s the funny thing about being drunk: you don’t remember many things. Remember Ashley’s sweet sixteen, you went out ‘partying’ with your friends?
Clary: I was tipsy!!!
Lia: No, you were drunk.
Lia: Whatever. The point is, you can’t hold your liquor.
Clary: ‘I can’t hold my liquor?’ What century did you come from?
Lia: The sixteenth. Leave me alone.
Clary: LMAO. Lia, you’re so old~~~
Clary: Fine, be that way. I’ll entertain these people myself. (BIG SMILE) I love you guys so much~~~~ Thanks for reading my story(ies) and I PROMISE YOU, it (they) will be finished. Lia will make sure of it! (She took away my iPod when I refused to finish chapter four. She is a very scary editor.) ... I’ll see ya!
Clary: Lia bullied me into putting this up because she is mean.
Lia: It has to be done, and since you refuse to put it up in your stories, where else do you want to put it up then?
Clary: But it's painful~~~~ Waaaaaaahhhhhh~~~~
Lia: -sigh- THUS, putting it up in your profile so you wouldn't have to put it up again and again.
Clary: It doesn't make it any less painful, meanie!!!!!
Lia: Get it DONE, Clary, or I'll go back to calling you Issa.
Clary: FINE (bitch).
UNIVERSAL DISCLAIMER: (And I'll only be saying this once, Konomi Takeshi, you must be sooo happy) I own nothing. Except probably for the stuff I bought with my own money. And because Prince of Tennis (and Tefu love) is too expensive for me right now (and probably in the future, too), I don't own it.
And thus, I will mope now.