The Human Kite
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Joined 05-26-11, id: 2934933, Profile Updated: 05-07-12
Author has written 9 stories for South Park, OFF, and Hannibal.

HI I'M ACTUALLY THE SLOWEST WRITER YOU'LL EVER MEET

If for some reason you actually want to keep up with me and have proof that I'm actually alive or something, my Tumblr is where the party's at: http://broflove.tumblr.com/

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This Could Be Anywhere But Here by avalise reviews
Stan and Kyle had a plan for college: Get the Hell Out of South Park. Their plan was successful, albeit under unplanned circumstances. Now, Stan is graduating and he hasn't spoken to his super best friend in four years. Slash. Style.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 57,165 - Reviews: 107 - Favs: 77 - Follows: 123 - Updated: 4/28/2013 - Published: 6/4/2009 - Kyle B., Stan M.
The Leyland Cypress Conflict by laddertoheaven reviews
AU in which Stan serves in WWI and Kyle waits while he tries to write.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,329 - Reviews: 1 - Favs: 5 - Published: 1/10/2013 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
When The Sugar Spins by laddertoheaven reviews
In the midst of winter holidays, widening waistlines become a concern and anxiety runs rampant for more than one person. Kyle groans, Stan disagrees. Meanwhile, Randy makes good on his habit of showing up unannounced. (Written for xnowherex & South Park Secret Santa at LJ. Warning for strong language, sexual content, discussions of mental health. Also it's super fluffy in places.)
South Park - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,145 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 9 - Published: 1/1/2013 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Boxing Day by hollycomb reviews
Stan goes home for Ned's funeral and confronts his feelings about his uncle's closeted relationship, and his own feelings for Kyle.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 14,436 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 3 - Published: 12/31/2012 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Fights and Fairway Drivers by laddertoheaven reviews
Stan and friends are eager to escape boredom and, one day, discover the not-so-wondrous but slightly amusing game of disc golf. Punching and waffles are involved. (Also, pre-slash, I suppose? I didn't plan it, oh well.)
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,911 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Published: 12/6/2012 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Monstrous by lizoftheinfinite reviews
Most love stories begin with the promise of a happy ending. But this is most certainly not a love story. Kyle/Stan.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Fantasy/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,403 - Reviews: 23 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 6 - Published: 1/20/2012 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Good Lives by Enkay reviews
South Park will never change. But people do. Stan/Kyle/Wendy/Kenny-centric story; Style, Kendy, Stendy, etc. Rated for sex, drugs, and high school shenanigans.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 53,513 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 10/5/2011 - Published: 12/4/2010 - Kyle B., Stan M.
The Scenic Route by hollycomb reviews
The boys embark on a six day road trip to California before separating for college. Cartman is a pain in the ass, Kenny has no future, Butters is in crisis, and Kyle doesn't know how he'll say goodbye to Stan. Stan/Kyle, Kenny/Butters. COMPLETE!
South Park - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 122,344 - Reviews: 154 - Favs: 302 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 8/19/2011 - Published: 6/9/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Of Love and Marriage by SqueakGirl reviews
Stan Marsh had never thought about marriage. No, he'd never even contemplated the thought until Wendy Testaburger had broken up with him. Style.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 5 - Words: 27,871 - Reviews: 74 - Favs: 145 - Follows: 21 - Updated: 7/23/2011 - Published: 6/1/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Ophidiophobia by Tikal Tyrant reviews
A one-shot in which Kyle must comfort a very terrified Stan. Very short and fluffy!
South Park - Rated: K - English - Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,545 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 2 - Published: 7/18/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Notexactlyarelationship by cherryfizzies reviews
In which Kyle is a bit asexual and the boys share a special little not-exactly-love bond. Oneshot. Pointless.
South Park - Rated: K - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 671 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 11 - Published: 5/12/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
US Route 285 by Percentile reviews
Did you know it's a 60 mile drive from Denver to South Park?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 18 - Words: 38,955 - Reviews: 143 - Favs: 141 - Follows: 49 - Updated: 4/27/2011 - Published: 3/25/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Two Minutes and Twelve Seconds by The Next Exit reviews
... is how long it takes Kyle to die. / K2, Style, eventual hinted Stenny.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Tragedy/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 14,322 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 29 - Updated: 1/8/2011 - Published: 5/30/2010 - Kenny M., Kyle B.
All I Want Is You by Natsu reviews
Because sometimes life is more Danny Boyle and less Ang Lee. Slash. Style. Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,031 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 31 - Follows: 2 - Published: 1/2/2010 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Lex Talionis by Foodstamp reviews
Years after losing contact with their childhood friends, Detectives Marsh and McCormick pick up a domestic abuse case that exposes their own dark history. Kenny's POV, StanxKyle and secret pairings, mature. Still need to post the epilogue, sorry!
South Park - Rated: M - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 4 - Words: 71,256 - Reviews: 299 - Favs: 430 - Follows: 253 - Updated: 9/10/2009 - Published: 3/18/2008 - Stan M., Kyle B.
Where No Leaf Blooms by Genis Aurion reviews
COMPLETE, StanKyle. She wanted me to be the perfect boyfriend. He wanted me to be the perfect best friend. I couldn't be both, could I?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 112,482 - Reviews: 518 - Favs: 193 - Follows: 105 - Updated: 8/17/2009 - Published: 8/17/2007 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
You Can Never Go Back by The Brat Prince reviews
Everyone told me I had potential. Everyone thought I’d be a star. No one thought I’d lose my full ride to one of the most prestigious universities in the Northeast Corridor because I partied too hard and just couldn’t finish my degree...Slash, Style.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 27 - Words: 103,055 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 90 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 7/16/2009 - Published: 11/11/2008 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
A Lack of Color by mr. eames reviews
--"I'm going to kill myself." Stan went to the roof of his apartment building, one determined thought in his mind, and then the redheaded stranger ruined everything. Or maybe he was Stan's savior. "That's tragic, we've only just met." Oneshot Stan/Kyle AU
South Park - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,371 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 195 - Follows: 8 - Published: 8/29/2008 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Writing on the Wall by unemployed reviews
The exploits of a lost and confused boy. Style. Oneshot. Rated for language.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,131 - Reviews: 35 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 5 - Published: 5/20/2008 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
I Dream of You by xXDark.Lord.MeloniousXx reviews
Serious lemon for Stan and Kyle. Very fluffy. :P Review please; I need critique/opinions on my lemon-skills or lack thereof M for sex, language and fluff-overload
South Park - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,865 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 257 - Follows: 14 - Published: 4/26/2008 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
I Feel So by Brat-Child3 reviews
I hugged myself and let out a sob: longing for the comfort of his smile, his touch. I was so sick. So sick and tired of being angry. In one clear moment, I realized how hopeless it had all been, and I asked myself: Now what?
South Park - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 92,955 - Reviews: 908 - Favs: 619 - Follows: 173 - Updated: 4/13/2008 - Published: 9/20/2006 - Kyle B., Stan M. - Complete
Syllables by Foodstamp reviews
Kyle thinks Stan can't write haiku to save his life. A robbery at the gas station gives them a chance to test that theory. StanxKyle, violence, character death, major angst. Oneshot.
South Park - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,016 - Reviews: 118 - Favs: 216 - Follows: 8 - Published: 1/17/2008 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Shadows in Disguise reviews
After the encounter with Tobias, Will starts having nightmares about Hannibal's death.
Hannibal - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,122 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 70 - Follows: 14 - Published: 5/22/2013 - Will G., Hannibal L., Tobias B. - Complete
Sleepwalker's Dream reviews
Will dreams of killing people while sleepwalking, but it's getting harder and harder to separate dreams and reality. Someone is looking out for him, and they might just be closer than he expects. Written for the Kink Meme.
Hannibal - Rated: T - English - Drama/Suspense - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,899 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 10 - Published: 5/19/2013 - Will G., Hannibal L. - Complete
Colorless Color reviews
Before the final battle, Zacharie propositions the Batter and gets more than he bargained for. Written for the Kink Meme.
OFF - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,367 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 5 - Published: 4/14/2013 - Complete
Potatoes reviews
Kyle is a horrible artist, but Stan loves him anyway. Written for South Park Secret Santa.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,783 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 12 - Published: 12/28/2012 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
You and I reviews
Stan reunites with Kyle for the first time in years, and nothing is exactly how it seems. Stan tries to pick up the pieces of a broken friendship while coming to terms with the fact that the one person he ever cared about might never want him back. Stan/Kyle
South Park - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 11,087 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 22 - Updated: 12/5/2012 - Published: 10/11/2012 - Stan M., Kyle B.
Static reviews
Maybe home isn't a house, because a house is no more than wood and nails and impermanence and decay. Maybe a home is a person, and that person had always been Kyle. Kyle/Stan, mentions Kenny/Wendy
South Park - Rated: M - English - Angst/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 23,485 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/15/2012 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Someone Like You reviews
Stan and Kyle didn't grow up together, didn't spend their childhood going on crazy adventures. They didn't even live in the same state. But distance can't keep apart two people destined to be together.
South Park - Rated: K+ - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,443 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 22 - Follows: 31 - Updated: 9/11/2011 - Published: 8/19/2011 - Kyle B., Stan M.
The Social Avoidance Quandary reviews
When Kyle starts keeping to himself, avoiding Stan and even his beloved Facebook, Stan is determined to set things right… but that's a little difficult when he doesn't even know what went wrong.
South Park - Rated: T - English - Humor/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,011 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 2 - Published: 5/31/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete
Mud reviews
"Without orange, all blue does is sit around and mope and write songs about hybrid cars." Stan watches Kyle paint. *Repost because I changed accounts*
South Park - Rated: K - English - Friendship/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,925 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/29/2011 - Stan M., Kyle B. - Complete