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Joined 05-28-11, id: 2940247, Profile Updated: 06-03-11
Author has written 3 stories for Harry Potter.

Hello to the types of people who check out fanfiction writers' profiles! And to those of you who ended up here by mistake. You should read the rest of this, just for funsies, either way :)

My name is blue.but.harmless. Well, not in real life. People don't come up to me on the street and say, "Hey, blue.but.harmless! How yoo doin'?" Nevertheless, for the purposes of this site, that is my name.

I'm here because I love reading. I read a lot (not alot; the alots don't need to know that I read - shoutout to Hyperbole and a Half, and anyone who reads it!). Probably an excessive amount. Both past and present tense (what? they're spelled the same way!) This voracious reading had certain predictable effects on me - it's addictive for one, it made my spelling fairly good, and it had an interesting impact on my brain. Specifically, my brain woke up one day with a wild SENTENCE running amok in it. The SENTENCE came from somewhere in the scary recesses of my grey matter (or white matter, I really wouldn't know), and it sounded cool.

It really wanted to be written down.

So I wrote it. That was that. I've been writing ever since. I enjoy writing the same way as I enjoy reading; it's my escape. I write a lot of random stuff: my thoughts, feelings, personal philosophy, anecdotes, letters, and - very, very occasionally - stories.

Most of my stories are completely my own, and will probably never see the light of day (What's funny is that that's actually a fairly accurate statement, since I do the vast majority of my writing after sunset. Ba-dum CHA! My apologies for the bad joke and the digression.). Anyways, since I've never really written fiction for other people before, I decided to give it a whirl, and see what people think.

Enough of this serious stuff. Here are some fun facts about me and my world:

1) My profession has absolutely NOTHING to do with writing. Well, I mean, I'm pretty sure literacy was a prerequisite, but aside from that - no writing.

2) I am an insomniac.

3) I am old enough to remember life sans internet, but young enough that I'd probably spontaneously combust without it.

4) My favorite color is not, actually, blue.

5) I might be the worst baseball player in the history of ever.

6) I binge-read and stress-bake.

7) I would rather have a tonsillectomy than eat a tomato.

8) I love talking about really wacky and random things, and I'm a repository for useless information.

9) I've read and liked so many books that I often remember better which books I didn't like, simply because those experiences are rare. And awful, and horrible, and traumatic. Like reading The Awakening. Ew.

10) I know what the word "bilateral" means, how to spell it, it's language of origin, and I can use it in a sentence.

Thanks for reading all the way to the bottom of the page. You're the best!


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Backward With Purpose Part I: Always and Always by Deadwoodpecker reviews
AU. Harry, Ron, and Ginny send themselves back in time to avoid the destruction of everything they hold dear, and the deaths of everyone they love. This story is now complete! Stay tuned for the sequel!
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 57 - Words: 287,429 - Reviews: 4457 - Favs: 5,808 - Follows: 2,086 - Updated: 10/12/2015 - Published: 2/28/2008 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
beautiful contradictions by drowning goldfish reviews
COMPLETED - Looking for an in-character, realistic, original, canon, post-OotP LilyJames fic from 6-7th year with attention to character development and interaction? With no mary sues, set in 1970's Britain, with correct spelling and grammar? Well this is it!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 18 - Words: 94,286 - Reviews: 1338 - Favs: 1,443 - Follows: 670 - Updated: 6/8/2012 - Published: 6/4/2004 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete
When A Lioness Fights by kayly silverstorm reviews
Hermione Granger, master spy, and Severus Snape, spymaster to the Order. An unlikely partnership, forged to defeat the Dark Lord on his own ground. But to do so, they must confront their own darkness within. Spying, torture, angst and love. AU after fifth
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 80 - Words: 416,508 - Reviews: 7534 - Favs: 4,922 - Follows: 1,869 - Updated: 2/6/2010 - Published: 12/7/2004 - Hermione G., Severus S. - Complete
The Desk by opalish reviews
Crack oneshot. Malcolm Baddock fails at office warfare, and Harry teaches his desk to speak.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,468 - Reviews: 235 - Favs: 1,271 - Follows: 171 - Published: 9/23/2009 - Harry P. - Complete
Gossip Queens by opalish reviews
After the war, Neville and Harry meet up to mock people and get drunk. It's a good life. Post-DH oneshot crackfic.
Harry Potter - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,210 - Reviews: 444 - Favs: 1,953 - Follows: 238 - Published: 7/12/2008 - Harry P., Neville L. - Complete
The World As We Knew It by Lady Alinor reviews
Destroy the Horcruxes—that’s Harry’s goal, until an Aperio throws him and two other unknown people into a world where the prophecy never existed, his parents and Sirius are alive, and Ginny went to Azkaban for opening the Chamber. Canon pairings, preDH.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Mystery - Chapters: 60 - Words: 178,249 - Reviews: 2381 - Favs: 2,091 - Follows: 922 - Updated: 11/23/2007 - Published: 6/2/2007 - Harry P., Ginny W. - Complete
The Code by Aduro reviews
AU,6th yr. Draco has a secret, he's a genius. Bill Weasley is teaching Ancient Runes. 6th year brings debate class, mystery, horcruxes,etc full sum inside, not slash, complete, thanks to my beta!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 139,436 - Reviews: 1138 - Favs: 1,214 - Follows: 224 - Updated: 6/6/2006 - Published: 1/13/2006 - Draco M., Bill W. - Complete
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An Unusual Beginning reviews
All of the very best things have unusual beginnings. Join the next generation of Potters, Weasleys, and, yes, even Malfoys, as they experience their own. Canon-compliant, multi chapter fic with characters, a plot, and awesomeness. R&R, pretty please!
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 17 - Words: 108,263 - Reviews: 165 - Favs: 59 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 11/7/2016 - Published: 6/4/2011 - Scorpius M., Rose W. - Complete
Right, Wrong, and the Element of Risk reviews
[ONESHOT] It would be dishonest to say that Teddy and Victoire were best friends before they were . . . Well. Before they were what they were when they were caught snogging on Platform 9 by James Potter at his most insufferable. There are so many "they were best friends first until the one fateful day when everything changed" stories. This is not one of them.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,370 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/14/2015 - Teddy L., Victoire W.
The Everyday Unlearned reviews
For Lily, James Potter was History. He was six years of eye-rolling, finger-shaking, I-hate-you-to-the-very-core-of-my-being fights. He had made her cry more times than she could count. He never lost a chance to tell her that she was beautiful. Oneshot
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,479 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 26 - Published: 6/2/2011 - James P., Lily Evans P. - Complete