Poll: Which Edgar Alan Poe story should be parodied next? Name of parody in parenthases Vote Now!
Author has written 26 stories for Invader Zim, Hunger Games, Star Wars, Ib, and Adventure Time with Finn and Jake.
Hello! I'm Invader Phoenix, also known as bak602 (BEE-AY-KAY SIX-OH-TOO). As you should know, I am a fanfiction writer (if you didn't know that already, see a doctor. PLEASE). And introducing... my servants, Edward and Jacob!
My Information, Opinions, and Stuff:
Name: Just call me Blake.
Age: YOU NEED NOT KNOW THESE THINGS, PEOPLE OF THE INTERWEBS!
Favorite Colors: Sky blue and purple.
Brain or Brawn?: Brain. I am NOT BRAWN. Trust me.
Edward: Stick figure version of Edward Cullen from my comics who now serves as my servant. Hates me and is VERY unsupportive. In love with Bella and wants Jacob dead.
Jacob Black: Stick figure version of Jacob Black who is also my servant. Turns into a poodle and dies frequently. Hates me less than Edward and isn't very... smart.
Friends on Fanfiction: lostlives12, vocagirl, Cylonblaze, Diana Lily and Isabella, pokekinz0520, TheAlmightyTacoGaurdianBlez, Wensdays.
Hobbies: Singing, writing, drawing comics, FANFICTION!!!
Yaoi/yuri: I don't like these fan pairings. Don't get mad at me or whatever- we're all entitled to an opinion.
Various Likes: Invader Zim, Ace Attorney, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle, Star Wars, The Hunger Games, singing, drawing, Fanfiction(duh), drawing/doodling.
Various Dislikes: Flamers, trolls, Mary-Sues, doing things that involve athletic ability, slash, fammeslash, feeling out-of-place, awkward silences, Kristoph Gavin.
Favorite Music: Taylor Swift, Daughtry, Skillet, Paramore, Hawk Nelson, Lauren Alaina, Evanescence.
RANDOM ABOUT ME QUESSYCHUNS AND ANSWER THING:
Your weakness: Many things. I'm not gonna get specific and all that junk...
Your fears: Death, many things...
Your perfect pizza: BACON, CHEESE, BEEF, CHEESE-STUFFED CRUST, PERRERONI!!!
Goal you would like to achive this year: Get a good part in a musical.
Most overused phrase on an instant messenger: XD. Don't worry, I use it, too. I use emoticons a LOT...
Thoughts first waking up: Morning... WANT MORE SLEEP...
Your best physical feature: Uhhh... How do you answer this question WITHOUT looking like an egotist?
Your bedtime: Why on EARTH do you need to know?
Mcdonald's or Burger king: Either.
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla. DON'T HATE ME!
Do you smoke: NONIE NONIE NOES.
Will you smoke: I don't plan on it. DON'T DO DRUGS!
Do you swear: Not often...
Do you sing: LIKE 24/7.
Do you shower daily: DUDE! WHAT IS WITH THESE QUESTIONS?!?
Do you behave yourself: I'm a goody-two-shoes rule follower who's always trying to be the good kid.
Do you get motion sickness: Meh.
Do you think you are attractive: Once again: egotist question.
Are you a health freak: ...
Do you get along with your parents: Pretty well, I guess.
Do you play an instrument: Flute. And vocal chords.
In the past month have you drank alchohol: No.
In the past month have you gone to a mall: Yes.
In the past month have you eaten sushi: DO NOT LIKE!
What you want to be when you grow up: Author, maybe voice actor.
What country you most want to visit: Some places in Europe, Japan.
Number of CD's I own: I have an IPod.
Fave music: Taylor Swift, Paramore, Weird Al Yankovic.
WNumber of CD's I own: I have an IPod.
Fave food: I like food...
Fave music: Taylor Swift, Paramore, Weird Al Yankovic!
What do your feet smell like: Feet...
What does your hair smell like: HAIR.
Can you clap with your feet: Negatory.
Have you seen purple cows: Nuh-Uh.
If you had 10 Mountain Dews, what would you be like: I don't drink soda. I'd give them to my Mountain-Dew-a-holic friend (you know who you are!)
When you think of the words 'George bush' what comes to mind: President.
Gen Blair: Co-host of The Invader Zim Singing Challenge (IZSC). Likes to sing. Intelligent, but hyperactive. Friends with: Tsuki, GIR, and sometimes Tak, Dib, Lard Nar, and Zim. Hated by: the Tallest, Gaz, and sometimes Zim (who pretty much hates everybody). She hates Professor Membrane and the Control Brains. Became a member of the Resisty (LARD NAR, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?. Her favorite food is waffles. Proud owner of: the Magical Elevator of Torture, athe Cup of Punishment, and a sack of gummy bears that she hits people with. Likes ZATR and loves GAMR.
Tsuki Hitsu: Co-host of IZSC. Often wears black and a wolf's tooth around her neck. Loves vampires, Paramore, Twilight, and torturing people. Friends with: Gen, GIR, Gaz, and Tak. Hates: Dib, Professor Membrane, Dib, Justin Beiber, Dib, Dib, Tsume's attempts at romance, Dib, and anyone who annoys her. Did I mention she hates Dib? BARLEY TOLERATES Zim. She wants to be a vampire VERY badly. She is often irritated. Favorite foods: Pizza, chocolate, and Mountain Dew. I got her last name from the Japanese word "Hitsuzen" (inevitability), and it also serves as a pun for "hits you". Has a cameo in "Machine" as a high school gym teacher.
Ren (No last name): Zim and Tak's adopted human daughter. Black hair, green eyes. She has two sides to her personality: Kind, cheerful and smart, and calculating, mean, and determined. Her more negative side comes out around Zack, her rival, whom she fights to protect her family. Outside of New Generations, she acts a bit more zany and is a fierce ZATR supporter. Has a GIR-like SIR named KOR. A bit of a pyro. Easily hurt by words. Fears surgery, baloney, spiders, and harm coming to those she cares about.
Zack (No last name): Dib's son. Messy black hair and black eyes, glasses, wears a black trench coat (Hey, it looks pretty dang cool.). Hates his father and wants to escape from his shadow. Suffers from frequent and recurring nightmares and a hidden emotional struggle. Very quick to judge and skeptical. Outside of NG, he is often insulted or injured by Ren and Tsuki. Often sarcastic. Extremely nearsighted and can only see about a yard in front of him without his glasses.
Tsumetai Locke (Better known as Tsume): 248-year-old vampire who appears to be sixteen. Raised by another vamipre in service with his parents after their murder and his own transformation. After growing arrogant, cold, and callous, he was placed in a crystal prison for 130 years. During that time, his body was under a stasis- no physical change. Demonstrates cruelty and evil, and struggles at times to control himself. Black hair, pale gray skin, and red, slitted eyes. To appear in a future collaboration story. His name is derived from the Japanese word "tsumetai", meaning "cold". "Tsume" is also a word meaning "nail" or "claw". In IZSC, he has a crush on Tsuki, who he calls his 'night queen', much to her irritation. Oh, yeah, and the whole vampire thing comes with a weakness to sunlight.
Xave: Invader Zim OC. Irken, 123 years old. Standard pinkish-crimson eyes. Worked as a soldier before a shoulder injury. He was then placed as a guard, but wasn't given back his old job, despite the injury healing in a couple weeks. Found a robot unit called B-27, which ended up resulting in his being stranded on earth with B-27 and Cam. Tries repeadedly to steal equipment from ZIm, almost always failing. Very serious and a pessamist, with a high amount of determination. Unfriendly. Fears traveling at high speeds.
Cam: Invader Zim OC. Irken, 122 years old. Green eyes. Worked as a researcher for the Empire befire being stranded with Xave and B-27. Happy-go lucky, optimistic, cheerful, energetic, emotional, and loves having a good time. Easily distracted and doesn't think things through very well.
B-27: Invader Zim OC. Out-of-date robotic model that lived in a garbage heap for thirty years. Emotional and fun-loving, like Cam. Extremely protective and loving towards Xave, who he considers his master. Technically genderless, but referred to as male.
PAIRINGS- WHERE I STAND
Pairings I Like: GAMR, ZATR, Syaoran/Sakura, DAGiF, Apollo/Ema, Apollo/Vera, Ren/Zack (OC pairing), Zim and GIR family fluff, Katniss/Peeta, Cato/Clove, Lang/Shih-na, Leia/Solo, Phoenix/Iris.
Pairings I'm Neutral To: ZAGR (onesided), DATR(onesided), DAGrR, Watanuki/Himawari, Klema, Phoenix/Maya, Watanuki/Zatshiki-warashi, Katniss/Gale, Glimmer/Marvel.
Pairings I Dislike: ANY NON-CANON YAOI OR YURI, KuroFai, DomoWata, ZADR, PHOENIX/EDGEWORTH, PompousPep.
Crack Pairings I Enjoy: Peeta/Bread, Danny/Fenton Thermos, Clove/Knife, Tallest Purple/Ms. Bitters.
Crazy is when you have a voice in your head that you named Pedro, even though he clearly isn't spanish and you just do that to annoy him.
Crazy is when you're so obsessed with eating your Jell-o (and you forgot to put a spoon in your lunch box) that you try drinking your Jell-o through a straw and using straw chopsticks because straws were the only untensil-type thing available.
Crazy is when you start dancing in Walmart to its cheesy music.
Crazy is when you laugh uncontrollably at your own jokes.
Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what is so interesting about the eraser.
Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.
Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.
Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.
Crazy is when you laugh when nothing's funny.
Crazy is when you crack up if someone says "Oatmeal!".
Crazy is when you forget what you're saying in the middle of a sentence.
Crazy is when you take the time to write down stuff like this and memorize it.
Crazy is when you're going through this as a checklist.
Crazy is when you quote Charlie the Unicorn at random momments.
Crazy is when you eat twenty pixie sticks in one day.
Crazy is when you're crazy.
Crazy is when start talking nonsense everyday during gym.
Crazy is when you convince your friends your 'high' because you can't stop laughing even when nothing is funny. And then all of you convince the nearest adult that you're having a breakdown.
Crazy is when you trip up the stairs, and laugh all the way back down them.
Crazy is when it is the last day of school and you scream and run around in circles.
Crazy is when you get drunk on air and laugh during the saddest part of the move.
Crazy is when you can call yourself something else, and completely become that person, forgetting your reason for hating the world,
Crazy is when you laugh at nothing during school and laugh when everyone looks at you like your insane.
Crazy is when you trip over nothing at all, fall, and say "I see the ground...it's pretty".
Crazy is when you are asked to get someone's phone from the other room, and you go and grab it epically, then crack up and spit out your oreos halfway through.
Crazy is when you go in your backyard and have conversations with yourself and non-existant people while gesturing wildly.
Crazy is when you go outside and show off your Just Dance 2 moves in the rain. While singing along.
Crazy is when you watch Lord of the Rings with your family, and at the end, when they discuss it like nerds, you nod like you get it and when they finish talking, you look at something random and say, "Oh, shiny!...wait...what were we talking about again?"
Crazy is AWESOME!!!
Crazy is when you is on skype, and your friend randomly says, "Well, that guy's headed for certain death," and you laugh.
Crazy is saying, "There's a car in a river, and people in the car. How is that a fail? That's a win!!!"
Crazy is when you read crack pairing fics and make your own when you're bored.
Crazy is when you have memorized all the words to llamas with hats and repeat them to random people, just so you can creep them out.
Crazy is when you randomly say 'moo' or 'cheese'.
Crazy am when you don't not got no good grammars.
Crazy is when you recieve daily threats to get put in an asylum.
Crazy is when you make a list of where you put everything so as not to lose it, and you lose the list.
Crazy is when you can voluntarily make your eye twitch, and it looks realistic, too!
Crazy is when you ferociously growl like a mad wolf when your friends annoy you.
Crazy is when you put it on your To-Do list to memorize the universe's top ten most annoying songs.
Crazy is when you are in a quiet classroom, you fall out of your chair backwards, and start laughing insanely while everyone stares at you.
Crazy is when you constantly shout out non-sequitors. TORTELLINI!!!!!!!
Crazy is when you like eating paper.
Crazy is when you bend your computer or DS' screen and threaten it when it's being slow or you lose a game.
Crazy is when you say something that makes no sense to anyone but you and doesn't actually relate to anything, but you crack up, and when everyone stars giving you "looks", you cover up by saying it's an "inside joke."
Crazy is when you are PROUD of the fact that you can bash your head against a wall for five straight minutes and not feel a thing.
Crazy is when your stuff keeps falling out of your locker, and you randomly snap and start punching and kicking it and screaming, "HOW DO YA' LIKE ME NOW?!?!? HUH?!? YOU WANT SOME A' DIS?!? HUH? HUH?!?" and not even noticing that everyone is stopping and staring at you.
Crazy is when you burn your tongue on a hot liquid or omthing like that, shriek, spaz out, wonder how long it will take for your taste buds to grow back, then continue drinking the scalding liquid like nothing happened.
Crazy is when you have a staring contest with yourself
Crazy is when you've unintentionally done half, or more, of the things on this list.
Crazy is when you meow according to how you're feeling. (Happy meow when you're happy. Angry meow when you're angry.)
Crazy is when you put an entry in this list, then go back and re-paste it onto your profile months later.
If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!
Okay, so take your iPod, and shuffle it for each part below! *Okay, I'll do it for fun. X3*
Opening Credits: "Literal Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer" by Toby Turner. *AWESOME. XD*
Birth: "Long Live" by Taylor Swift. *YAY! I'M NOT GONNA DIE YOUNG!*
First day at school: "I Want You Back" (live Taylor Swift Cover). *Yep. My love life looks great at this point.*
Falling in Love: "Misery Business" by Paramore. *MORE GREAT ROMANCE COMING MY WAY*
Fight Song: "Don't Wake Me" by Skillet. *Yay. I'll be dreaming and moping about my ex and get my BUTT KICKED.*
Breaking Up: "What I Meant to Say" by Daughtry. *Well, at least this fits.*
Prom: "Hallelujah" by Paramore. *Sounds pretty good. :)*
Life: "Blush" by Plumb. *So "wanting to be in love with only you" is my whole life. Sounds fantstic. T.T*
Mental Breakdown: "Should've When You Could've" by Skillet. *MY BREAKUPS WILL DRIVE ME CRAZY.*
Driving: "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. *OH, NO.*
Flashback: "Fingernails" by Skillet.
Wedding: "Energy" by Skillet. *SKILLET IS ALL OVER MY LIFE. O.O But at least God's in this one. :)*
Birth Of Child: "Better Than Revenge" by Taylor Swift. *YAY. MY CHILD HAS THE SAME FUTURE AS ME.*
INTERMISSION: "Ours" by Taylor Swift. *Correction: Skillet AND Taylor Swift are all over my life.*
Final Battle: "Nothing Left to Show" by Hawk Nelson. *Cool.*
Death Scene: "Mine" by Taylor Swift. *MORE TAYLOR SWIFT. GOSH. But at least my death is a sweet song. :)*
Funeral: "Hang On" by Plumb. *Kinda late to hang on; I'm dead.*
End Credits: "End of the Dream" by Evanescence. *MY LIFE IS A DREAM?!? LE GASP!*
So, if I had to summarize what this iPod shuffle says for my life: MY LIFE IS FULL OF BREAKUPS AND UNFITTING MUSIC.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
1. Children's Asprin: Warning: Keep Away From Children
2. Peanuts: Warning: Product May Contain Nuts
3. Curling Iron: Warning: Do not use while sleeping
4. Candle: Warning: Warning, A burning candle is fire
5. Frozen Pizza: Warning: Do not eat before cooking
6. Blanket from Taiwan: Warning: Not To Be Used As Protection From A Tornado
7. Frisbee: Warning: May Contain Small Parts
8. Butcher Knife: Warning: Keep Away from Children
9. Railroad Sign: Warning: Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
10. Hair Coloring: Warning: Do not use as an ice cream topping
11. Dial Soap: Warning: Use like regular soap
12. Sleeping Pills: Warning: May Cause Drowsiness
13. Puzzle: Warning: Some Assembly Required
14. Japanese Food Processor: Warning: Not to be used for the other use
15. On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
16. On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
17. On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
18. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
19. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought??...)
20. On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
21. On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
22. On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because??...)
23. On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
24. On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
25. On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
26. On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
27. On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
28. On a Korean kitchen knife-- "Warning: keep out of children." (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)
29. On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.
INVADER ZIM QUOTES OF AWESOMENESS:
-"He needs you, Mary! You two such good friends, like hot dogs! Please hunt my master again! ...COUCH!" -GIR
-"Guess who made WAFFLES?!?" -GIR
-"Pretend it's a taco!" -Zim
-"There are things in here I never even dreamed of of! I'm gonna try and blow it up!" -Dib
-"Hi, floor! Make me a sammich!" -GIR
-"AH HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA... Ahem... I LOVE EARTH!" -Zim
-"AAAHHH! THE HIDEOUS MUTANT SQUID HAS ESCAPED AGAIN AND IT'S CREATED AN EVIL ARMY OF CYBORG ZOMBIES SOLDIERS TO DO IT'S EVIL BIDDING!" -Zim
-"Yes, yes, it will be magicl! But you must go!" -Dib robot
-"Of course my scary sister; I obey." -Zim
-"I was the turkey all along!" -GIR
-"Help! My head it's stuck! GIR! Help! I can't breathe! I-" -Zim
-"Can it protect you from- THIS?!?"
"SAMMICH!" *sandwich hits Dib in the face* "I had a sammich in mah head." -GIR and Zim
-"Deep down I'm baloney?"
"That's just dumb."
"Dumb like a moose Dib, DUMB LIKE A MOOSE!" -Zim and Dib
- "Why do you have to have a head?" -Gaz
-"HEY! Look at that garbage can!" -Dib
-"Me need PAK to think stuff!" -Zim
-"I don't know, I think he stopped being alive." -Tallest Red
-"NOOOOOOOOOOOand quit making fun of my head AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" -Dib
-"I MADE MASHED POTATOES!" -GIR
-"Go home and save your giant head of smell with your bad self!"
"Okay... there's all kinds of things wrong with what you just said." -Zim and Dib
-"I'm going to throw up." -Tallest Purple
-"My Tallest! My tallest! Hey my Tallest! Over here my Tallest! MY Tallest! My Tallest! Hey!..." -Zim
-"Dudi dudi doooooo... WAFFLES!" -GIR
-"All they see is another faceless corporate venture, not a plan for world conquest!"
"Wait, is there really a difference?" -Tak and Dib
-"You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuits? You gonna make biscuiiiiiiiiiiits?!?"
-"We... are... THE RESISTY!" -Lard Nar
-"That's a stupid name!" -Tallest Purple
-"MUST! SELF! DESTRUCT!" -Zim
-"Zim! We meet at last!"
"I just saw you three hours ago..." -Dib and Zim
The flollowing is an IZ questionare thingy that I've seen on a couple users' profiles, so here goes! WAFFLES!!!
1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Zim's base with GIR and ZIMMEH!
2. Which IZ character would you date?
Dating Zim would be HILARIOUS!
3. Which IZ character is your best friend?
GIR. He's awesome!
4. Which IZ character do you hate?
Tourqe Smackey, Poop Dawg, and the Control Brains.
5. Your favortite IZ episode?
Zim Eats Waffles. It. Is. HILARIOUS!!!!!!
6. Your favorite IZ character?
GIR or Zim.
7. Favorite almighty Tallest?
Purple, I guess.
8. Zim walks up to you. What do you do?
Go insane with obsessive happiness.
9. You just got 2 tickets to a concert. Who do you take with you?
10. You acccidentally got stranded on a deserted island. Who is stuck with you?
Dib. He could probobly find means of escape and not act like a complete lunatic. He'd probobly cooperate pretty well.
11. Zim just asked you to help him repopulate Irk. What do you do?
NO! DUDE! EW!
12. Favorite IZ pairing?
GAMR, ZATR, and ZADF.
13. You and the Tallests are on the massive...
I hit them over their heads with a sack of gummy bears and scream, "LET THE REVOLUTION BEGIN!"
14. If you could spend you Friday nights doing something, what would you do?
What? Have fun I guess.
15. Favorite IZ quote?
There are so many awesome ones, it's hard to decide. Look above for some of my faves.
16. Favorite Zim moment?
There are tons, but one of the best is in "Future Dib" when Zim laughs like a maniac, notices everyone watching him, and then grabs a kid's collar and screams "I LOVE EARTH!"
17. Favorite Dib moment?
"Hey, lookit that garbage can!" and "There are things here I've never even dreamed of! I'm gonna try and blow it up!"
18. Favorite Tallest moment?
-"What about Zim?"
"I don't know, I think he stopped being alive."
-"We are... THE RESISTY! We have come to-"
"Woah, woah, hold on... Did you say the 'Resisty'?"
"Yes, the Resisty."
"That's a stupid name."
"See? I told you it was stupid! Why do I keep listening to you?"
19. Favorite GIR moment?
"Guess who made waffles?"
"I'M NOT GOING TO EAT THAT-"
"WAAAH! WAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
20. Favorite random moment?
From Mortos der Soulstealer:
ZIM: "Can it protect you from... THIS?!?"
GIR: "SAMMICH!" *sammich hits Dib and face and knocks him through a wall* "I had a sammich in mah head."
Girl: Can you slow down?! I'm scared!
Boy: Sure, but first, tell me you love me.
Girl: I love you, now can we please slow down?
Boy: Hug me.
Girl hugs him
Boy: Now can you please take this helmet off me, it's bugging me?!
Girl takes off his helmet and puts it on her own head
Next day in the paper...
There was a motorcycle crash yesterday due to break failure. There were two passengers, but only one survived.
Halfway down the road the boy realized his breaks broke, but didn't want to scare the girl so he had her say 'i love you', and hug him one last time, then put his helmet on her so he would die but she would live...
Copy and paste this to your profile if you think that this is really and truly, true love.
This is a story about God. Read if you believe in him, and read even if you don't.
A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.
As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won’t re-post it?
Re-post this if you truly believe in God, and even if you don't.
From One Stranger To Another,
Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?
Girl: Do you like me?
Girl: Do you want me?
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Girl: Would you live for me?
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Girl: Choose--me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.
If you find this incredibly cute and touching, copy and paste it into your profile
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity...
Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
if you are planning to do all or one of these things then copy and paste it!
15 Things to do when you're in Walmart!
1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"
12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"
You say Martians.
You say Bill Nye.
You say backpack.
You say uprising.
You say stupid.
You say idiot.
You say ugly.
You say 'The Song that Never Ends'.
You say robot.
You say "That's not true!"
You say aliens.
You say "I'm popular".
You say we're weird.
If you luv Invader Zim, copy and paste this onto your profile!
COPY AND PASTE JUNK OF DOOOOOM!
If you have a severe case of OOIZD (Overly Obsessive Invader Zim Disorder) copy & paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with Invader Zim, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.
If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you have a million and one notebooks, and still need more for your imagination or creativity, copy this into your profile.
If you're easily distracted, then...HEY! WHAT'S THAT?
If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile.
If you love playing Phoenix Wright, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with something considered childish for someone your age, copy this into your profile. (Like anime, manga, video games, etc...you get the point. )
If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself/someone else, copy this into your profile.
If you believe in Jesus Christ put this in your profile and don't just ignore this, because in the Bible it says, ‘If you deny me, I will deny you in front of my Father in the gates of Heaven.’
Eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fi.
If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all: I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile and put your name on the list!asomepets, vocagirl, bak602
If you've ever forgotten what you were going to say copy this onto your profile.
If you are obsessed with reciting Gir quotes all the time copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list:INVADER GRIM, bak602
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge!If you are really random put this on your profile.
My imaginary friend doesn't like you either.
Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss.
Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
Somebody needs a Happy Meal!
Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.
Most people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
"Some people are like Slinkies. They're really good for nothing. But they still really bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."
Apparently 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. Either it's my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu. I think it's Collin.
If you want Invader Zim to come back, copy and paste this into your profile and sign your name: RulerofFire, MyWhiteLady, Invader Nyx, Serentochan, Zim'sMostLoyalServant, Sara Zoe Tigris, Guy Person, Invader Catara,INVADER GRIM, bak602
Do you like waffles? Do you like pancakes? Do you like french toast? If you can't wait to get a mouthful, copy and paste this in your profile.
Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy this onto ya profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!
Silence is golden, but duct tape is SILVER.
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.
If at first you don't succeed, PIE!
If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!
If you have a fanfiction.net account, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I should hope you would...)
If you're a blond who gets straight A's. copy and paste this onto you're profile.
If at first you don't succeed, OBJECTION!
If you like Tsubasa Chronicle, copy and paste this onto your profile!
SAKURA AND SAYORAN WERE DESTINED FOR EACH OTHER!!!
I'm sick of team Edward and team Jacob...I'M TEAM GIR!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile, and add your name! Micah The Homicidal Maniac, Invader Kat 27
If you get obsessed over things, then look back and realize how stupid some of them were, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If your part of the .0000000001 percent of people who does NOT have a MySpace, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you've ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy and paste this into your profile.
DON'T RUN FROM THE CANNABALISTIC LLAMA!
If you are a Miles Edgeworth fangirl, copy inpaste this onto your profile.
If you like Mokona Midoki from Tsubasa, copy and paste this onto your profile!
('.') Copy and paste Bunny
If you like GAMR, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you hate the Phoenix/Edgeworth romance pairing and wish for it to BURN (MUA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!) copy and paste this onto your profile and add your name to the list: bak602
98 percent of authors confuse "you're" and "your". If you're one of the 2 percent who knows how to tell them apart, copy and paste this into your profile.
If thou art a Shakespere nerd, copy and paste this onto yonder profile.
If you say IZ pairings like they appear instead of saying the letters (Saying "ZAGR" as "Zagger" or "GAMR" as "Gammer") copy & paste this onto your profile.
If you like ZATR, copy and paste this to your profile.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When life gives you Justin Beiber, you throw it back and say, "HEY! WHERE'S MY LEMONS?"
IF YOU ARE SUPER EXCITED FOR THE ACE ATTORNEY MOVIE COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR STINKING PROFILE ALREADY!!!!!
If you love how much giroro cares about Natsumi, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you believe people should stop ignoring Dororo, copy and paste this to your profile
If Zim isn't the ONLY green, short, arrogant, stupid, alien invader and you know EXACTLY who I'm talking about, copy and paste this into your profile!!
If you believe Momoka should admit her true feelings for Fuyuki, copy and paste this to your profile.
If ZADF is awesome, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you like ZATR, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you have ever had the phrase "Epic fail" said to you, copy and paste this on your profile.
Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile. (I hate rap. :D)
If you dislike Edward the sparkly vampire, copy and paste this to your profile. (He hates mah guts and wants meh to die.)
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isnt for you.
If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.
Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.
The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.
If you want world peace, a brighter future, and more chocolate, copy and paste this into your profile.
If someone you love has died, paste this to your profile.
When in doubt, push random buttons!
If you can't beat the computer at chess, try kickboxing.
When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's something entirely different.
There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.
Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where the heck's my ceiling?"
There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work.
Pirates are cool. The color blue reminds me of chocolate and Edward Cullen. if two gooses are geese, would two mooses be meese? and if two foots are feet, wouldn't it be two feetball? walrus! AHAHAHAHA!! LUKE I AM YOUR FATHA!! i hate lacrosse. don't ask why. i want some toast. DO THE BARTMAN! SHOOBUS MY WOOBUS and SHOOP DA WOOP, baby! SUPER KITTY, AWAY!! BLUE GREEN AHHH! KITTY CATS WILL RULE THE WORLD!! I ATE A BABY POSSUM ON A STIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!! WONDER FUN MEAT WORLD WE MAKE THE BEEF JUST RITE!!!! CHEDDAR CHEESE PIE ATE MY BROTHER!! HE ATED HIM AND RAN OFF WITH MY SHOE AND A 20 DOLLAR BILL!!! I WAS GOING TO BUY ANOTHER SHOE WITH THAT 20 DOLLARS!! THE WAFFLE NINJAS ARE AFTER MY SOUP!
Chuck Norris is watching your every movement right now... this moment...
If you love internet memes, copy and paste this to your profile. IMMA FIYARIN MEH LAZAR!!! Nyan nyan nyannyan... ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! LEEEERRROOOYYYY JJJJEEEENNNNKKKIIINNNNSSS!!! Uhhh Winning! I like turtles... *Troll face, awesome face* So, I heres you leikz mudkips. Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOMS MUSHROOMS!
Edward is NOT a vampire. He lives in the woods, doesn't drink human blood, and he sparkles in the sunlight. He is obviously A FAIRY. Copy and paste this to your profile if you agree!
After I bought a Michael Jackson CD...Michael died. After I bought a Slipknot CD...Paul Gray died. Then I bought an iPhone...and Steve Jobs died. Soo...tomorrow...I'm going to buy the whole Twilight saga.
Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not.
The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.
If you don't do drugs, copy/paste this into your profile.
Doing drugs= Ruining your life.
Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you' re just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky he is to have YOU...If you want this kind of guy, copy and paste this into your profile.
No one's perfect. If you know and like that you're not perfect, copy this to your profile. (Not perfect=NOT A MARY-SUE!)
If you think you can be pretty without being self-centered, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you think you should be able to watch what you want on TV without being called immature, copy and paste this in your profile. (LEAVE ME AND MY CARTOONS ALOOONNNEE!)
If you've ever talked to yourself copy this onto your profile.
If you are against racism, COPY THIS ONTO YOUR PROFILE. The only race is humanity.
If you love Star Wars, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you, sadly, cannot use the Force, copy and paste this onto your profile.
If you've ever talked like Yoda, copy and paste this onto your profile.
This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help him gain world domination.
Here's to the dreamers, who see everything in color while the world is getting darker.
Come to the dark side, we have cookies!!!!!
I hate you! Well, not hate you, but I dislike you very much.
You see, madness, as you know, is like gravity. All it takes is a little push!
Fiction is the truth inside the lie.
Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win.
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU'RE AN ACE ATTORNEY FAN WHEN:
Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts:
1) The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office.
3) I am not allowed to take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar.
6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination.
7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after me lucky charms."
8) I am not allowed to start a betting pool on this years Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.
9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month."
10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand.
12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force."
13) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work."
14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot.
15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it.
16) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive.
17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast.
18) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day."
19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
20) It is not necessary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.
21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort.
22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling.
24) I will stop referring to showering as "Giving Moaning-Myrtle an eye-full."
25) I will not make, "OMGWTF" a spell.
26) It is not necessary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate.
27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways.
28) I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bees."
29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
30) I will not go to class skyclad.
31) I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "Told you I was Hard Core."
32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the potion is acceptable as Body Lotion.
35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends."
36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends."
37) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
38) There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
39) I will not give Luna Lovegood Coast-To-Coast AM transcripts.
40) Tricking a school House Elf to strip of it's clothing does not make it mine. Yes, even when I yell out "OWNED!"
41) I do not weigh the same as a Duck.
42) I do not have a Dalek Patronus.
43) I will not lick Trevor.
44) Gryffindor Courage does not come in bottles labeled, "Firewhiskey."
45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween.
46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously.
47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions.
48) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet.
49) "To conquer the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice.
50) I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
You know you watch too much Invader Zim When:
1. You have a sudden craving to squeeze a rubber piggy.
2. You don't listen to politicans speeches anymore... you vote for the tallest one.
3. Martians existed. And you know exactly what happened to them.
4. You pass out meat on Valentine's day instead of candy.
5. You talk in third person.
6. You block up your chimeny on Christmas beacuse you fear Santa's 'jolly boots of doom'.
7. The most terrifing image you can come up with is a moose eating walnuts.
8. You check your soap for bacon... just in case.
9. When you get a zit, you name it Pustulio and insist that he has hyptnotic powers.(LISTEN TO PUSTULIO HE IS YOUR MASTER)
10. When a dog follows you, you're frightened that you're turning into bolonga.
11. Chihuahuas are frightening creatures...
12. Tuna is worth NOTHING anymore.
13. Waffles are the best food in the world. Period.
14. Being 'normal' is important beyond all else.
15. You've begun to wonder if your teacher can survive in the sun or not.
16. You've suspected that the nearby hot dog stand is controlled by aliens.
17. You wear a trench coat everywhere.
18. You don't eat proper meals anymore; only snacks.
19. You've tried to convert your basement into a secret base.
20. When someone calls you stupid, you respond with 'I'm not stupid. I'm ADVANCED'!
STEROTYPES. Some steryotypes people have are just plain stupid. Bold ones about me. Also, any involving particular age will not be bolded.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
Well, that's my profile. If you read all that, THANK YOU. Oh, and remember:
DRINK DA CHOCOLATE MILK.