Author has written 8 stories for Star Wars: The Clone Wars, No Ordinary Family, and Body of Proof.
You may be obsessed with Star Wars if...
... your favorite book of the Bible is 'Luke.'
... you refer to children as 'younglings,' elevators as 'turbolifts,' and bathrooms as 'refreshers.'
... you have looked for Ewoks when entering a wooded area.
... you address your teachers as "Master."
... you have attempted to use a glowstick as a miniature weapon.
... when an object was out of your reach, you have extended your hand toward it and expected it to come to you.
... you wave you hand in front of you to open automatic doors.
... you have quoted lines from the Star Wars movies unintentionally.
... you have ever attempted to perform a jung ma.
... you even know what a jung ma is.
... you have ever been surprised to open a refrigerator and find that the milk is not blue.
... you know how to write in Aurebesh.
... you have ever insulted someone by calling them 'sleemo.'
... you have painted or drawn a picture in which there are at least two suns in the sky.
... you understand any of this.
Ways to annoy Asajj Ventress
1. Tell her that the Sith are losers
2. Tell her she is the most pathetic excuse for a wannabe-sith in the history of pathetic wannabe-siths
3. Tell her she has a crush on Count Dooku
4. Taunt her about Obi-wan beating her in battle
5. Tell her that Ahsoka will attack her in the middle of the night if she doesn't sleep with a nightlight
6. Call her Sajj-sajj
7. Tell her that she'd better hurry up and ask Obi-wan out
8. Imitate Obi-wan's voice whenever you're around her
9. Tell her that Grevious would do anything to make out with her
10. Jump out in front of her and go " I'm Asajj Ventress, cower before my beauty!" And make a big deal out of it
11. Wait till she gets in a fight with Obi-wan. Every time she makes a bad move, call out " you're losing, Sajj-sajj!"
12. Whenever she makes a good move, yell "ooooh! Burn!"
13. Whenever Dooku lectures her, go "Dissed!"
14. Tell her Ky Narec was a loser
15. Ask her why she's bald
16. Follow her around singing "Poker Face"
38 Ways to annoy Darth Vader
Surefire ways to get yourself killed, or at least Force-Choked a few times
1. Call him Ani.
2. Tell him you've taken up podracing as a hobby. Ask him to give you lessons.
3. Ask him if he ever knew, "A cute senator from Naboo." If he says something or stays silent, say, "Ooh, Ani's got a girlfriend!"
4. Walk around tripping every other step. If he asks you what you're doing, say, "Mesa Jar Jar Binks!"
5. Imitate his breathing.
6. Steal his lightsaber and replace it with a hot pink one.
7. Blame it on Tarkin.
8. Ask him if he was ever arrested for child abuse.
9. When he does something really evil, shake your finger and say, "Now, now, Ani, would your mother approve of that?"
10. Have emotional conversations with him. Bring up Qui-Gon.
11. Follow him around singing "I Know a Song that gets on Everybody's Nerves."
12. Ask him how he goes to the bathroom in that suit.
13. Paint his TIE fighter yellow.
14. Stare at him. When he asks you what you're doing, say that you can't see how an evil jerk like him could've ever been a Jedi.
15. Throw mashed potatoes at him.
16. Whistle in his ear. When he comes after you, hide behind a stormtrooper.
17. Poke his shoulder.
18. Call him an "evil creep with a dysfunctional family."
19. Tell him he looks like a droid.
20. Sign him up for a quilting class.
21. Make up words to the Imperial March (Vader’s Theme). Sing them whenever he enters a room.
22. Jab him with a stick.
23. Talk like Yoda all the time.
24. Ask him to play Battlefront with you. If he does, make him be the Rebels.
25. Tell him his mask looks stupid.
26: Ask him if he's seen Obi-Wan lately.
27: Stick refrigerator magnets to him.
28: Follow him around talking about the similiarties between his life and Avatar: the Last Airbender.
29: Talk about how his life was like Luke's. Say, "It's almost like you're related!"
30: Tell him that you find his son attractive.
31: Ask him if he likes twins.
32: Whenever he gets close to you, pretend that you're being Force-choked. Loudly.
33: Have a loud conversation with a wall when he's nearby. If he asks you what you're doing, say that you're talking to Qui-Gon and that he's very disappointed.
34: Call him Dear Old Darthy, especially when you're near someone.
35: Ask him if he wants to buy some death sticks. Be sure to talk like that guy in the bar in Episode II who tried to sell some to Obi-Wan.
36: After doing number 30, tell him that you dumped Luke for Jabba the Hutt.
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me."
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Hmmm... Which do you think is hotter, and best looking?
- Clone Wars Obi-Wan.
- Ewan Mcgregor Obi-Wan.
If you chose Clone Wars Obi-Wan... You're INSANE!
If you chose Ewan Mcgregor Obi-Wan... You're AWESOME AND YOU HAVE GREAT TASTE! He's SUPER SEXY! If you chose Ewan McGregor Obi-Wan, copy and paste this to your wall.