Author has written 12 stories for Alex Rider, Young Justice, and Rise of the Guardians.
Um I do tumblr and deviant and twitter.
chika-roxy . tumblr . com
chika-roxy . deviantart . com
twitter . com/ JayRowan2
If you're here to read my fanfiction, ignore my author's notes, I was such a self deprecating girl that didn't know how to express her thanks. Thank you for your pratonage? idfk
BIO IS FULL OF UNIMPORTANT JUNK. I OWN NONE OF IT. This all comes from somewhere that's not me.
"The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single fucking one of them."
"If you can't blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit."
"The worst thing is when someone insults you and they're right."
"The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly." — F. Scott Fitzgerald
"The first step to recovery is admitting you've gotta problem, you know?”
"If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it then how bad of a decision can it really be."
The moment you find out that the Lion King opening song literally just says "yup, it's a lion alright":
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba [There comes a lion]
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama [Oh yes, it's a lion]
Nants ingonyama bagithi baba
Sithi uhhmm ingonyama Ingonyama
There are approximately 1,013,913 words in the English language but I could never string any of them together to explain how much I want to murder you.
Agelast - a person who never laughs.
Basorexia - an overwhelming desire to kiss.
Wanweird - an unhappy fate.
Dystopia - an imaginary place of total misery; metaphor for hell.
Anagapesis - the feeling when one no longer loves someone they once did.
Alexithymia - n. The inability to verbalize your emotions or lack of emotional response. Difficulty in experiencing, expressing, and describing emotion. A failure to express feelings either verbally or non-verbally, especially when talking about issues that would normally require an emotional response. Poor modulation of feelings, significantly reduced intensity in emotional expression
Schadenfreude - n. Pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.
The first time I say I love you, your face crumbles
you grasp your head, fist your hair, hiss "Why me"
whisper "Why me I am weak I am dirt I am dust I am nothing"
Because the earth is made of dust and dirt
and you are as essential to me as earth is to sky
The dirt and the dust are not weak
I could build a house out of you;
you are the roof when I rain
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
- Paul Laurence Dunbar
"It's too early to be alive."
"You can't say that!"
"Satan bless it, then"
Ϯ Ϯ Ϯ
I love how cold and focused your eyes are. I look forward t o the day when those eyes will be wide with agony.
I want to paint my face
"Always remember when a guy sweeps you off your feet; he's in the perfect position to drop you on your ass."
"If you punch me again, I will bitch slap you."
Be insane- well behaved people never made history.
I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile, and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.
The next morning Germany awoke groggily rolled over to check the clock on his nightstand. His eyes were still adjusting to the morning light. He was pink fabric, pale skin, and... a curl?
"ITALY! HOW ZE HOLY FUHRER DID YOU GET IN MY BED?!"
Ludwig couldn't help himself; for the first time all year he broke out into a full-blown laugh. Such a laugh from him was a rare phenomenon, one which when it occurred, usually had the unintended effect of making everyone who heard it feel at least a little uneasy, both because it was so contraire to his usual ovelry serious nature and because it possessed a dark, dangerous quality which made it sounds like the laugh of a sadist who was about to do something horrible to someone than a man who genuinely found something innocent funny.
"Okay, now I know the pilot and I got his permission to take you up to the flight deck. Remember what I told you about the controls -- you know, the buttons and switches?"
She nodded soberly. "Touch them all." The Sergeant snickered.
"Lord, help me," Rhodey muttered, looking up at the ceiling. "Touch none of them."
"Yes, sir." Darcy grinned. "Touch all of them."
"Sure, no problem. Can I help you with that?"
"If you want to hand me things, I'll be your best friend."
"Gee, you're cheap."
Elizaveta tilted her head to the side, still staring at him before she pushed herself to her feet and took Ludwig’s hand.
“Then it’s silly of me to be mad at you when it isn’t your fault either. Curses are terrible things,” she said decisively, as though trying to convince herself. She tugged on his hand and stared sternly up at him. “But you need to be happier,” she ordered. “That is the wrong kind of face to make, Mr. Ludwig. My cousin will be even angrier if you show up in front of him looking like the farmer just shot your dog.”
“Just shot my—what a beautiful image,” Ludwig mumbled, keeping a tight hold on the young girl’s hand as he led them out of the storeroom. He locked the door behind them and began walking back upstairs.
“I promise I do not usually laugh, sir,” he said, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment to attempt to alleviate their stinging. “Nor do I babble or talk incoherently. The decision has… taken its toll on me. So to speak.”
“I would recommend against you laughing in the future, yes. It is quite terrifying,”
“You are terrifying when you laugh, I hope you know,” Gilbert said lightly, straightening his collar one last time. “You should probably not laugh around anyone else. They would grow frightened and burn you at the stake for being possessed. It isn’t a risk worth taking.”
“So you are to be the only victim of my laughter, am I understanding that correctly?” Ludwig asked, playing along as he fetched Gilbert’s shoes and sat down to give them a quick polish. Gilbert sat down on the bed, bouncing slightly until Ludwig gave him a warning look and he fell still.
“Something like that, yes.”
"Try not to offend anyone"
"Are you suggesting I don't speak" it was more a statement than a question.
"...that would be preferable, yes."
Dick took a huge gulp of air and finally found where he’d left his composure. He rolled over onto his back, panting and giggling every few seconds. “I am so sorry,” he said when he’d gotten himself back under control. Wally was still watching him incredulously.
“You’re a complete basketcase, Dick,” he said, echoing Dick’s fond tone from earlier in the night.
“Was there ever any doubt?”
Wally snorted. “You adorable little shit.”
“It’s a gift,”
Wally squeezed his shoulder. “I take it the ride to and from the police station didn’t help the cabin fever?”
“Not one bit. I didn’t even get the ice cream I was promised.”
Wally gasped dramatically. “What? No! That is cruelty!” He gathered Dick in his arms and started to rock him, ignoring the former Boy Wonder’s squirming. “You poor, poor thing. You’ve been through a dreadful experience!”
“Get off me!”
“How could anyone be so heartless to deny you?”
“Wally, I will hurt you.”
“Who could deny such a sweet, gentle—oof!” Dick had punched him in the gut to get away. “It’s okay, I forgive you. You’ve just lived through a traumatic experience.”
“Grab me like that again and I’ll give you a traumatic experience,” Dick growled, though he wasn’t being entirely serious at this point.
“Do you need a hug? I think you need a hug.”
“Sure, Wally, sure. Let me just hug your neck here,real tight…”
“That’s a headlock, Dick!”
“Everyone’s a critic.” Dick dragged Wally closer so the older boy’s face was buried in the bedcovers beside him, muffling his protests. “Ah, blessed peace.” Wally struggled free; Dick let him.
“I’d say go to hell, but I never want to see you again.”
"Fine, but no alcohol and don't ya overdo it. Surprised you're not ready to keel over after ticklin' the kid so much."
"Because, that was fun and fun gives me more energy. I'm just special like that." Jim grinned smugly.
"Yeah, yer special a'right, specially stupid,"
"Boy, I'd smack you upside the head but your skull's so thick, you probably wouldn't feel it."
"Can I shoot her?"
"Not in public."
"Rise and shine little brother!" She grinned and placed the tray on the bedside table, pulling open the blinds with a flourish afterwards. "I know you've had a long night, but if you don't get up now, you're going to throw off your internal clock."
Danny groaned and burrowed further under his blankets, practically hissing away from the light. "Go away, Jazz," he grumbled, covering his eyes with his forearm. "…And take your chipper attitude with you."
"So," he drawled low enough to keep out of earshot, "what kind of a demon are you?"
"A famous one," she answered quickly. "Almost as famous as you, Ghost Rider."
"What's your name?"
She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her purse and tapped one out. "I have lots of names."
"The one on your driver's license then."
Blackheart stepped to Johnny's side. "I hate it when she does that," he muttered, hands in his pockets.
"She's pretty good at convincing men to do stupid things," Blaze replied, giving Blackheart a smirk. "She got me to go to Hell, after all."
The demon arched his eyebrow at Johnny and let out a single chuckle. "She likes taking advantage of morons."
"Ouch. Your wit cuts me like a saber, Blackheart."
"You should see me when I'm actually trying. I'm deadly."
"You talk a big game, kiddo. I think you did that right before I kicked your ass in San Venganza."
"You got lucky," Blackheart muttered, his shame emerging.
"I'm not lucky."
"Then what do you call it?"
"Reckless endangerment. Complete disregard for self-preservation."
"Big words, Blaze."
"What's a bedtime? I don't sleep, I run off cookies."
don't contradict the world. 'Well, at least it couldn't get any worse', and don't give it any ideas either'' - Please follow this advice oh my god
Life, when I said that at least today couldn't have gotten any worse, that was a saying. Not a challenge.
A hero of war; that's what I'll be
I swear, any future children you planned on having vanish, along with your dignity."
"You know, I'm beginning to think I'm not qualified to protect you. You don't need a bodyguard. You need a therapist."
Howl at the stars;
Make it clear and strong,
"Alright. After your cured I'll acknowledge the kid. Scout's honor." Clark said.
"Don't joke about it Clark it's serious.
"I am serious." Clark said.
"Do me a favor and lose the sense of humor." Bruce said
"Do us both a favor and buy one." Clark said.
" KF! A little help would be greatly appreciated!"
"I'm trying! I'm trying! There's dudes everywhere!"
"Well, there's dudes over here too! I need back-up ASAP! I- Shit! I mean..." Robin gave his adopted father an innocent smile over his shoulder, "Shoot?"
"How was the party?" Bruce asked as the boy entered the room.
"I either need coffee or sleep." He said groggily.
"When did you guys finally go to sleep?"
"Who said we slept?"
Pour me something tall and strong… Make it a hurricane before I go insane. It's only half past twelve- but I don't care. It's 5 o'clock somewhere.
You always had the gift of speed;
"Don't you dare tell anyone that."
"Oh, don't worry." Wally grinned playfully and broke another cookie. "I will."*
"Wiser words were never spoken."*
can I ask you something?"
"You just did! But yes, you may trade in that question for a new one."*
*"Wally, my friend…could you be an awesome person and knock me out? Hit me over the head with the lamp, for all I care."
"Not happening, bro." Wally said.*
"Cross your heart and hope to die?"
"And stick a needle in my eye!"
*"He thinking WHAT now?"*
"ROBIN! GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK IT!"*
"Look Miss M, can we get this over with?" asked Robin, "Cause I've got a sticky speedster just waiting to unstuck himself so that he can attempt to kick my ass."
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about!" cried Me'gann.
"What just happened?" James asked as Alex climbed into his bed.
"Nothing" Alex mumbled from beneath his blankets.
"That wasn't nothing" James scoffed.
"Then what was it?" Alex retorted.
"Uh...I don't know" James frowned.
"So what are we talking about?"
"We're talking about what the hell just happened" James was beginning to get pissed off now.
"So what the hell did just happen?"
"I don't know!" James was frustrated now.
"So what was the question?"
"I don't know!" James growled.
Alex nodded. "Goodnight then" He said.
"What?" James gasped.
Alex nodded to the clock. "We should be sleeping" He said calmly.
James growled angrily. "We should be talking about this?"
"You want me to talk about my feelings?" Alex asked him sceptically.
"So what are we talking about?"
"STOP DOING THAT!" James almost shouted, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the kid was so confusing, James couldn't concentrate and think properly.
James groaned in frustration. "JUST SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!" He threw himself onto his bed, covering his head with his pillow.
"If you say so"*
remember what I asked of you."
That miracle I'd mentioned earlier? None other than the Batman himself. Never had I felt so much gratitude and worship towards a walking Home Depot in the entirety of my life. Of course, the mission Batman had assigned us moments later totally ruined that sense of gratitude; he was pulling my favorite little bird out for some work in Gotham and making us hunt out Poison Ivy. You're probably thinking, "Oh, it's just Ivy; not a big deal!"
Well you try running when she keeps growing plants on the ground!
Ten little Indian boys went out to dine;
One choked his little self and then there were nine.
Nine little Indian boys sat up very late;
One overslept himself and then there were eight.
Eight little Indian boys traveling in Devon;
One said he'd stay there and then there were seven.
Seven little Indian boys chopping up sticks;
One chopped himself in halves and then there were six.
Six little Indian boys playing with a hive;
A bumblebee stung one and then there were five.
Five little Indian boys going in for law,
One got in Chancery and then there were four.
Four little Indian boys going out to sea;
A red herring swallowed one and then there were three.
Three little Indian boys walking in the Zoo;
A big bear hugged one and then there were two.
Two little Indian boys sitting in the sun;
On got frizzled up and then there was one.
One little Indian boy left all alone;
He went and hanged himself and then there were none.
"I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight!"
"Heaven kicked me out. Hell is afraid I'll take over."
Thank you Captain Oblivious. Shut up Lieutenant Sarcasm.
By Anthony Howoritz
I want to tell you how this story got included in this book.
About a week before the book published, I broke into the offices of Orchard Books, wich are located in a rather grubby street near Liverpool Street station.
Maybe you haven't noticed but the book you are holding at this very minute was originally published by Orchard and I wanted to get my hands on it beacuse, you see, I'd had an idea.
Generally speaking, publishers are stupid, lazy people.
Orchard Books had about twenty people working for them but not one of them noticed a window had been forced open in the middle of the night and that someone added a couple of pages to the computer, waiting to be sent to the printers.
I had brought these pages with me, you see, beacuse I wanted to add my own message to the book.
Nobody noticed and nobody cared and if you are reading this then I'm afraid my plan has worked and you are about to discover the meaning of true horror.
Get ready - beacuse here it comes.
Twelve years ago I desperately wanted to be a writer and so I wrote a horror story(based on my own experiences) that was rejected by every publisher in London beacuse, they claimed, it wasn't frightening enough!
Of course, none of them had the faintest idea what horror really meant beacuse they had never actually commited a murder, whereas I, my dear reader, had commited several.
My uncle Frederick was my first victim, followed by my next-door neighbor(and unpleasand little man with a mustache and a smelly cat), two total strangers, and an actor who once bid part in EastEnders and a Jehovah's Witness who happened to knock at my door while I was cooking lunch.
Unfortunately, my adventures came to an end when a dim-witted police man stopped my car just as I was disposing of the last body and I was arrested and sent to a lunatic asylum for life.
Recently, however, I escaped and it was after that that I had the wonderful idea that you are reading about this very moment and that can be summarized in three simple stages.
Drop into one of the offices of one of those smarmy publishers in London and slip a couple of pages into somebody else's book (with many apologies to Anthoy Horowitz, whoever he may be).
Exit quietly and stay in hiding until the book is published.
Return only when the book is in the stores and then wait in the background, until some poor fool buys it and follow that person home...
Yes, dear reader, at this very moment I could be sitting outside your home or your school or wherever you happen to be and if by any chance you are the one I've chosen, I'm afraid you're about to learn a lesson about horror that I know you'd prefer to miss.
Orchard Books is also going to wish that they'd published me all those years ago, especially when they start losing readers in particularly nasty ways, one by one.
Understanding will come - but I'm afraid you're going to have to read the whole story again.
Start at the beginning.
Only this time look carefully at the first word of each sentence.
Or to be more precise, the first letter of each first word.
Now, at last, I hope you can see quite how gloriously, hideously mad I really am - although for you peraphs, it may already be too late.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Sugar is sweet,
And so are you,
But the roses are wilting,
The violets are dead,
The sugar bowl's empty,
And so is your head.
If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.
"There is always a light at the end of every tunnel...just pray it's not a train!"
How to store your baby walker: First, remove baby.
There are 3 kinds of people in this world...those who want things to happen, those who make things happen, and those who just wonder what the hell happened!
Man who dropped his watch in the toilet bound to have shitty time.
Man who fart in church sits in his own pew.
On the bottom of the parcel: DO NOT TILT UPSIDE DOWN
A sign was seen on a restroom dryer: DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.
At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.
In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
On a door sign of a repair shop: WE CAN REPAIR EVERYTHING.(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
"The Earth Is Full - Go Home."
For Guys: No Shirt, No Service. For Girls: No Shirt, No Charge.
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman
"I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes stuck in my nose!"
"I'm an angel, honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo straight!"
"God made mud, God made dirt, God made guys so girls could flirt!"
"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite."
"As I said before, I never repeat myself."
"You have ONE advantage over me...you can kiss my arse but I can't!"
"I'm in no condition to drive...WAIT! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer Simpson
"Oh, yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?" - Homer Simpson
"You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom."
"It's OK to kiss a fool, its OK to let a fool kiss you, but never let a kiss fool you!"
"Ashes-to-Ashes Dust-to-Dust, Life is short so Party We must!"
"If you do it you'll regret it, if you don't do it you'll regret it, either way you're going to regret it, you might as well just do it."
"They mis-underestimated me." -George W. Bush
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."-George Bernard Shaw
"If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it."-Jonathan winters
"If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts."-Albert Einsteintake
"I am thankful for laughters, except when milk comes out of my nose."-Woody Allen
Book: Alex Rider, Scorpia
Mrs. Jones: ''The gondola from underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape. She was crushed''
Alex Rider: ''I'd have been disappointed too,''
Book: H.I.V.E (1st book)
Page 81 & 82
"It appears we are to be roomates, Otto," he said, still smiling.
"I hope you don't snore," Otto said, laughing.
"Like a chainsaw, my friend, like a chainsaw," Wing replied, grinning.
Wing hadn't been joking about the snoring. Otto lay in his bed with hastily fashioned toilet-paper plug in each ear. He could no longer hear Wing, but he swore he could feel his bed bibrating slightly.
As he lay in bed, blissfully deaf to the ungodly noise coming from Wing's side of the room...
"So let me get this straight," Shelby said, grinning. "Wing has basically subdued both of them and then you make your first contribution to the battle by knocking him unconscious."
"Yes, that's right," Otto mumbled, feeling about three inches tall.
"Otto's assistance was welcome, if somewhat missdirected," Wing replied with a wry smile on his face.
"I'll have to remember that on the future. When in a life-or-death battle, be sure to club unconscious everyone on your side as early on the fight as possible," Laura said, laughing.
"Darkdoom? Darkdoom did this?" Nero was visibly surprised. He placed a hand on his forehead, rubbing his temples. "Oh, why is it always the bald ones?"
Page 290 & 291
"Where's Franz?" Shelby asked, looking around the room.
"He locked himself in the bathroom. He won't come out," Nigle explained.
"And I am being quite happy to stay here," Franz's muffled voice added behind the bathroom door.
"We should be safe in here, shouldn't we?" Nigel asked, looking from one girl to the other.
There was an enormous bang from the room's main door and the thick metal buckled inwardly slightly.
"Oh, sure, for about the next two minutes," Shelby replied.
Book: Straw into Gold(by Gary D. Schmidt)
"You are grinning" said Da(or Pa).
"I suppose." I answer.
"You look like a lunatic, grinning at nothing." said Da, yet again.
"You look like a madman, scowling at everything." I answer.
"Then there's a fair pair," he called, and swatted at me.
"It would be best to go back to the horses," I said.
"Horses?" Innes held out his hand to stop me. "I don't ride horses. They're afraid of me."
"They're afraid of you?" I ask.
"Terrified" He answers.
"There!" I cried, triumphant. And the horse galloped off into the night, the sound of his hooves pounding the hardened road. I stood holding the empty halter, wondering why I had been so foolish, and knowing why. I threw the halter into the wood.
"At least the assassin after us will have no horse," I said. ( M/N: This book takes place in the old times, when cars where not invented yet. So horse was the only form of transportation, besides walking.)
"I told you, they were afraid of me." Innes scolded.
"Is our assasin afraid of you too?" I ask.
"Terrified," said Innes.
"Innes, we'll answer the kings riddle first. The Assassin must have left his new horse outside."
Innes paused a long moment. "And if he has?"
"Then we'll ride it to the castle Saint Eynsham Abbey, Innes." then I sighed.
"Are you remembering that horses are afraid of me?" Innes asked.
"Yes, terrified." I replied.
"Tousle, you might try to imagine for a moment - I know that this is difficult, but you might try to imagine anyway - that there is something in this wide, wide world that you do not know." said Da.
"My horse will sprout wings before I believe you've been to the king's castle." I told him.
"Then you will be plucking horsehair from the clouds before long." asnwere Da.
"There will be no answer taken back to Wolverham, the rebels will hang, and you three will never leave Saint Eynsham Abbey. Horses will sprout wings before any of you see the outside of this walls again." said our captor.
"Then we'll be plucking horsehair from the clouds before long," I answered. Lord Beryn stared at me, then turned his back, crossed the courtyard, and crashed the door behind him.
"I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive."
"In the world of love and dating... I'm lost. Get me a GPS."
"Death is God's way of saying, 'You're fired!' with no second chance. Suicide is humanity's way of saying, 'You can't fire me! I quit!"
"When life gives you lemons, turn them into apple juice and let the world wonder how the hell you did it."
"Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before." -Unknown
"Skill is successfully walking a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Intelligence is not trying."
"Go to hell!" "Been there, done that, got bored, came back."
"I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer." - Doulas Adams
"Don't upset me I'm running out of places to put the bodies."
"Life is but a mystery, but there are way too many villains!!"
"They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people."
•silence is golden, duct tape is silver
The Fires of Pompeii : future strange flamethrower name
This used to be a password to something, i forgot what tho lol: FUCKu!5494