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Author has written 12 stories for Harry Potter, Ouran High School Host Club, Hunger Games, Supernatural, Phantom of the Opera, and Cats.
First of all, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to come to the profile that reflects the mind of a crazy person. It means a lot. I really appreciate it.
Second of all, I suppose I should tell you a little bit about myself:
I ship a lot of ships, and I belong to a lot of fandoms. This may indeed make me clinically insane, because most of what I do in my spare time involves either reading or writing about slash. But I’m still able to function in everyday human society, so, oh well, I deem that a success.
My life revolves around television, Tumblr, books, and the written word and I hope to continue living that way until the day I die.
I don’t really know how to make this witty or humorous, or even something unique that you won’t forget in the next ten seconds, so I’m going to leave it at that. If you really want to know more about me, PM me. Strike up a conversation. I don’t bite.
Until then, please feel free to read my stories, and pop me a review so I know if you liked it.
The Pink Unicorn
You zombies out there need to watch out. Unicorns don't play games with banished subjects
Unicorns VS Zombies
Who will win?
Well that's obvious. Unicorns. Duuhhhh.
Fav HP Characters in Order
1. Fred and George
They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG! then I don't think you'd be able to kill very many people.
The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.
I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready-made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you!"
Need more proof that humanity is one day going to kill itself out of sheer stupidity? Here are a few label instructions that can be found on various consumer goods:
On a Sears’s hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping (darn, that's the only time I have to work on my hair)
A bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (Maybe it's the shoplifter special?)
A bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap (which is how...?)
Some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost (but it's ONLY a suggestion)
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom): Do not turn upside down (little late for THAT, don'chya think?)
A Korean kitchen knife: Keep out of children (this is either a minor translation mistake or Koreans have more issues than we originally thought)
Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating (I hoped it'd be frozen...darn you, nuke powered microwaves!)
Packaging for a Roweneta iron: Do not iron clothes on body (but that would save so much time...)
Boot's Children cough medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication (yes, if only we could get those 5-year-olds with nasty head colds off the forklifts, the rate of construction accidents would go down dramatically)
Child's Superman costume: Wearing this garment does not enable you to fly (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents. I mean, sure, let's just go ahead and totally destroy a universal childhood belief!)
Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness (and...you think I’m taking this because...?)
Most brands of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only (is there another type of "doors" I don't know about where I might be using them?)
A Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use (okay, I have no clue what this one means. anybody mind helping me out here?)
Sunsbury's peanuts: Warning: Contains nuts (NO CHIZ!!!)
American Airlines peanut packet: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts (step 3: avoid elephants, perhaps?)
Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chains with your hands or genitals (O_0 uh...do Swedes do this often...?)
To Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"
5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana
7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!'
18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'
20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity.
HARRY: Can play the guitar, and sing.
RON: Has an obsession with Red Vines.
HERMIONE: Can't draw.
DRACO: Is going to Pigfarts next year.
DUMBLEDORE: Owns a Zefron poster.
SNAPE: Has a butt trumpet.
LUCIUS: Is the sexiest dancing gay man alive.
UMBRIDGE: Is doing things THE UMBRIDGE WAY! and is wondering if you got her text
CEDRIC: Is an excellent finder.
SIRIUS: Is homeless.
LUPIN: Has got to watch his damn mouth around those little bastards and he can't sing
VOLDEMORT: Had mad game with the bitches back when he had a body.
QUIRRELL: Is rearranging that roller skating date. And still wants to watch 'She's All That'.
LUNA: Wears diapers. All respectable wizards do.
SEAMUS: Knows the one about Sirius Black, Flitwick's little brutha and the clown.
CHO: Is awful upset that the Valentine's Day Feeler-Up Dance was cancelled, y'all.
LILY AND JAMES: Died after crashing into a crocodile.
A DEMENTOR: Kissed Umbridge, and IT. DIED.