Jailbirdy
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Joined 11-17-02, id: 295664, Profile Updated: 02-26-09
Author has written 9 stories for Doctor Who, Heroes, Kingdom Hearts, Repo! The Genetic Opera, and Pokémon.

C: Email me at hhaistrup@gmail.com

All the listlessness and anger
and the intrigue and the fear
All the babes that you call you darling
and the dolls who call you dear
And the sound that passing time makes
As year slides into year
For who
Do you
Cut your
Hair?

I draw stuff.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Unravelling the Tale by Nimue I Am reviews
Legolas and Gimli... a friendship of this strength was not easily forged. The Ring will take Boromir, but what trials do the others face being near such evil? A Legolas and Gimli story, & Gollum too. New Chapter!
Lord of the Rings - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Suspense - Chapters: 22 - Words: 108,926 - Reviews: 281 - Favs: 154 - Follows: 37 - Updated: 12/9/2013 - Published: 2/19/2002 - Legolas, Gimli
How To Do Nothing At All by Falaphesian reviews
In a world of possibility, Xigbar's only desire is to do absolutely nothing. With Luxord in tow, the two set off on a most grand adventure to determine just how many things they can get by without doing. 'Nothing' has never been so full of 'something.'
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 119,901 - Reviews: 248 - Favs: 189 - Follows: 138 - Updated: 1/8/2010 - Published: 6/27/2007 - Xigbar, Luxord
The PPC at Torchwood Three by IndeMaat reviews
The Rift has become more volatile. Some of the problems that causes can only be dealt with by a special cleanup crew. [Protectors of the Plot Continuum spinoff]
Torchwood - Rated: M - English - Parody - Chapters: 14 - Words: 61,417 - Reviews: 31 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 1/7/2010 - Published: 2/25/2007
Distance Makes the Heart by Piscaria reviews
Eight years after Charlie finds the golden ticket, Wonka asks him to leave the factory. As Charlie deals with his hurt and confusion over leaving his home, he comes to reevaluate his relationship to the factory and to Willy Wonka. SLASH.
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 20 - Words: 86,550 - Reviews: 354 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 285 - Updated: 11/26/2009 - Published: 11/9/2005
Sometimes I Wonder by littlegeekpenguin reviews
One-shot. "There was, by his estimation, a single 1x3 inch strip of natural skin left on Amber Sweet’s body. " Graverobber's thoughts on the slow suicide of Amber Sweet.
Repo! The Genetic Opera - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,125 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 30 - Follows: 5 - Published: 2/25/2009 - Complete
my darling magpie by nessa1 reviews
vlad returns to claim agnes. but his new shape might prove a problem...and will granny weatherwax approve? vladagnes
Discworld - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 7 - Words: 6,000 - Reviews: 26 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 5/14/2008 - Published: 7/17/2004
The Tales of Dragons by Blazenix reviews
What happens when Dojo meets an exgirlfriend of his, and what happens when Chase Young finds out she's there! This means trouble!PLEASE READ&REVIEW DojoXOC! COMPLETED! AFTER A LOOOONG WRITER'S BLOCK
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,744 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 3/16/2008 - Published: 10/5/2006 - Dojo - Complete
The Epidemic by Mental Torrent reviews
One shots based on the characters created by the club The Epidemic. All rights to these characters are RESERVED to their creators. Rated for sexual themes and references to violence, drugs, sex, etc. Based on the ideas of Miss Selah and her work Sanctifie
Osmosis Jones - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 14 - Words: 5,077 - Reviews: 18 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 1 - Updated: 10/28/2007 - Published: 8/3/2007
Say MY Name by Caness reviews
Damn, but does Sylar like the way Mohinder says his name. OneShot.
Heroes - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 917 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 16 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/25/2007 - Complete
You Got Jacked! by MissKeith reviews
Jack realises he cannot defeat the warriers as of present, so he splits himself in two...good and evil to come up with the most devious and evil plan of them all...however it's just like Jack to get ahead of himself.Ch.26 up
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Romance - Chapters: 26 - Words: 56,534 - Reviews: 133 - Favs: 27 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/11/2007 - Published: 7/5/2006 - Jack, Kimiko
My King A Lost King by Mara Greengrass reviews
Ianto has a few things to say to Jack after “End of Days.”
Torchwood - Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 843 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 39 - Follows: 7 - Published: 1/8/2007 - Complete
Home by eeveekitty85 reviews
In the silence, he could hear the comforting whoosh that meant he was home. Jack finds the TARDIS again, but the man inside isn't quite what he's looking for. 8th, Jack, mild slash, oneshot.
Doctor Who - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,481 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Published: 11/27/2006 - Complete
Cities of the Future by CaideSin reviews
His disease. His hunger gets the best of him.[Axel plus Roxas][cannibalism]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Drama/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,727 - Reviews: 25 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/26/2006 - Axel, Roxas - Complete
Norway by eeveekitty85 reviews
I first met the Doctor on the beach. Oneshot, 10th Doctor.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,220 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 3 - Published: 10/18/2006 - Complete
Why Don't You Have a Girlfriend? by Yumi-San1688 reviews
A silly cliche lil' story about Sirius and Remus addmitting their feelings for each other. XD Very cheesy. I hope someone out there likes it! cry Rated T for sexuality..I think..
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,708 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 6 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/8/2006 - Remus L., Sirius B. - Complete
Whiskey Kisses by lilviorX reviews
Clay has a few too many whiskeys. Jack gets his wish. There'll be more than a hangover to deal with in the morning. ClayJack SLASH !COMPLETE!
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,920 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 64 - Follows: 11 - Updated: 10/7/2006 - Published: 9/15/2006 - Clay, Jack - Complete
Part of Life's Fascination by Mara Greengrass reviews
Bruce Wayne encounters Captain Jack Harkness at a fundraiser.Crossover with Doctor Who
Batman - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,466 - Reviews: 14 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 2 - Published: 9/23/2006 - Bruce W./Batman - Complete
Realizations by Buroo reviews
Jack in love, Clay confused. Nothing explicit. Jack x Clay. Short story.
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 5,306 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 9 - Updated: 9/16/2006 - Published: 8/17/2006 - Clay, Jack - Complete
The Captain Dances by JackBarrowman reviews
Immediately following “The Doctor Dances” Jack gets his dance. NineJack Slash.
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 858 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 10 - Follows: 2 - Published: 6/23/2006 - Complete
Souls by Slightly Sinister Sinestra reviews
Chase Young is almost killed. Omi & co bring him back to the temple. Now what? ChaseOmi.
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,547 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 51 - Updated: 6/6/2006 - Published: 4/17/2006 - Chase, Omi
Woof by Flower Powerer reviews
Jack Spicer had never been a fan of dogs, and though this little yappy one running around his feet was extraordinarily cute, it was no exception. [Implied Slash]
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,017 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 5/21/2006 - Complete
Dishes by CaideSin reviews
She’s attacked him. Everything in the house is a weapon to her. [RitsukaSoubi][Fluff]
Loveless - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 951 - Reviews: 21 - Favs: 23 - Published: 5/14/2006 - Complete
Crossplay by silentring reviews
When Riku and Sora get cast in leading roles of Sleeping Beauty they'll do their best to put their differences aside for the sake of the play and...ahem, authenticity. Of course, it's all just an act...right? [RxS AxelxRoxas LxC]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 7,133 - Reviews: 102 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 4/7/2006 - Published: 4/1/2006 - Riku, Sora
The Oath by ClosetFanGrill reviews
...What was it…? Fruit, friendship, fresh bread, home, sugar…? No. It could only be described as ‘Sora’. The bare skin of Sora’s sweat jewelled cheek squeaked against the supple black leather of Riku’s Unknown robes... Abandoned for obvious reason: KH2! X
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 3 - Words: 7,438 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 3/19/2006 - Published: 10/13/2005 - Riku, Sora
Room Mates by MikeTeaveeIsMyRoleModel reviews
My MikeCharlie slash fic! Charlie and Mike end up as room mates at boarding school. How will the two get along? How can they last with such complications? READ&REVIEW! Be sure to catch ROOM MATES 2: The aftermath
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 15 - Words: 26,169 - Reviews: 82 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 2/15/2006 - Published: 9/26/2005 - Complete
Summer Camp by Flower Powerer reviews
Shh...don't worry, we'll be back to pick you up soon just three weeks of summer camp, you'll be fine! [JackRaimundoish]
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,297 - Reviews: 16 - Favs: 11 - Follows: 4 - Published: 1/29/2006 - Complete
Rude Awakening by Timiniminy reviews
Oneshot. RaiJack Slash. Plotless and Pointless! Flames will be put out by means of the Orb of Tornami.
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 497 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 3 - Published: 1/2/2006 - Complete
As Good As They Get by The Seventh L reviews
Wounded in the line of all-around evil making, the Master must turn to a Doctor to help his little problem - but not just any Doctor.
Crossover - Doctor Who & Black Jack/ブラックジャック - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 941 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 12/24/2005 - The Master - Complete
Ed's Christmas Gift by TABIL reviews
The Ed's are older now and are invited to Nazz's Christmas Eve Party and our lovable Ed's confession really strikes the heart of someone he holds dear. ...SLASH. No ready if you don't likie.
Ed, Edd n Eddy - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 17,748 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 12/21/2005 - Published: 12/20/2005 - Ed, Edd
Whisper of Evil by ShNLo reviews
When things all over the factory begin to go awry, Willy Wonka and Charlie Bucket are forced to investigate. And then, things get REALLY nightmarish for little Charlie...
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: K+ - English - Mystery/Horror - Chapters: 3 - Words: 4,713 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Updated: 12/1/2005 - Published: 11/29/2005
The Talk by IDOL HANDS reviews
What might Charlie’s parents say to each other if they suspected that more than friendship was gong on between their son and Wonka? After which, Charlie and Wonka have a friendly discussion of their own. Warning: SLASH
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,780 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 51 - Follows: 11 - Published: 11/30/2005 - Complete
No Cause for Alarm Clocks by H.J. Bender reviews
A short story detailing one of Crowley’s infernal household gadgetries, and why he’ll never have sex in front of it ever again. Slash.
Good Omens - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,079 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 134 - Follows: 9 - Published: 10/21/2005 - Complete
Wake up Jack! by TamerTerra reviews
Wuya wakes Jack up, and they have a talk. Or rather, a banter contest. Guess the slash pairing! Sorry, Chase doesn't exist yet.
Xiaolin Showdown - Rated: K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 425 - Reviews: 39 - Favs: 8 - Follows: 7 - Published: 10/16/2005 - Jack, Wuya
Just Because by ClosetFanGrill reviews
They rise and spill forth towards the door. I won't allow it. I will close it. I will save him. Because I love him... Boy loves boy fluff. Closing of the door. KH1 Ending. Riku's side.
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: K - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 705 - Reviews: 5 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 1 - Published: 10/6/2005
Together for ever! by Yaoi is art reviews
After Yuki proposes to Shuichi, he goes to NG Records to tell everyone. They congradulate him and want to celebrate by having a party. What will happen?
Gravitation - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,032 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 7 - Updated: 8/25/2005 - Published: 7/4/2005
War of the Worlds by Psyrhi reviews
As aliens invade the Earth and overwhelm mankind, deep underground, the LEP decide that the only option is to reestablish ties with Artemis Fowl. Takes place after Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code, but before Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,359 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 4 - Follows: 3 - Updated: 8/10/2005 - Published: 6/30/2004
Reversal of Fortune by LdyAnne reviews
What makes us who we are? Is it our outward appearance, what we present to the world? After an encounter with an alien laboratory, Sam and Daniel find out for themselves.
Stargate: SG-1 - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 8 - Words: 16,219 - Reviews: 43 - Favs: 7 - Follows: 14 - Updated: 6/6/2005 - Published: 1/25/2005
The Revenge of the Houseplants by H.J. Bender reviews
FACT: Crowley’s houseplants have been suffering for years at the hands of their merciless master. QUESTION: What happens when Hastur offers them a chance to avenge their misery? ANSWER: read fic.
Good Omens - Rated: T - English - Humor/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 11,792 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 230 - Follows: 10 - Published: 4/2/2005 - Complete
Turned by runawaypoet reviews
A story of mistakes, naivity, deception and how Albia came to be as it is today Please R&R! sorry I'm so late with any updates, its been hectic and I slight case of writer's block! :
Creatures - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 17,956 - Reviews: 9 - Favs: 1 - Updated: 2/7/2005 - Published: 5/8/2004
The Captain and the Sergeant by Commodore Norrington reviews
A year after 'Monstrous Regiment', Polly gets a new posting...accompanied by a whole slew of introspection.
Discworld - Rated: K+ - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,302 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/2/2005
Undercover by luny teen reviews
ok, i don't like this summary gig but here i go. Foaly has a problem and the LEP is going to be forced to do the unthinkable, and contact a certain Mud Boy to solve it. Please R&R. Warning: Artemis is OOC.
Artemis Fowl - Rated: K+ - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 9,870 - Reviews: 40 - Favs: 4 - Updated: 9/18/2004 - Published: 6/11/2004
Here Comes Another One by pazu7 reviews
The holiday season is no time for a job like this... but someone has to do it. This story is also available in audio format at my homepage.
A.I. - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,100 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 5 - Published: 12/7/2002
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Ugly reviews
Ugly is the new beautiful, he tells her. Luigi/Amber
Repo! The Genetic Opera - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 24 - Words: 33,628 - Reviews: 54 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 10 - Updated: 3/26/2009 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Complete
Echoes reviews
Drifloon was a grave, a tombstone, a reminder.
Pokémon - Rated: K - English - Supernatural - Chapters: 1 - Words: 366 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 1 - Follows: 1 - Published: 2/26/2009 - Complete
What's in a Name reviews
The name that's always on Axel's lips [AxelRoxas][shota][lemons][AxelSeifer][AxelHayner]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 829 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 2 - Published: 11/21/2007 - Axel, Roxas - Complete
Silences reviews
Lexaeus preferred to speak through actions, rather than words. [vaguely amusing LexaeusZexion fluff][slash]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 216 - Reviews: 17 - Favs: 34 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Lexaeus, Zexion - Complete
Ashes, Ashes reviews
Silent HillKingdom Hearts crossover. Axel takes Demyx somewhere cool.[AxelDemyx][XigbarDemyx][Pyramid headDemyx][Pyramid headAxel][slash][general weird][late night fail]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Horror/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,009 - Reviews: 7 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/10/2007 - Demyx, Axel - Complete
Playing with Fire reviews
More recently, Axel burned people. [AxelRoxas][DemyxRoxas][noncon][general weirdness][bad title &categorization]
Kingdom Hearts - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,785 - Reviews: 10 - Favs: 17 - Follows: 1 - Published: 11/6/2007 - Demyx, Roxas - Complete
Arithmetic reviews
204, 205, 206 pages, and they still can’t get close enough. [extremely vague underage sex] [slash] [MohinderSylar]
Heroes - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,610 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: 3/21/2007 - Complete
In Which Jack Makes a Bet reviews
Is it really impossible for Ianto to spill a cup of coffee? Jack begs to differ. My late Valentine's day ficlette. [Torchwood][oneshot][IantoxJack][general silliness] also, I want to point out, I know that Pterodactyl's don't have placentas. XD
Doctor Who - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 2,279 - Reviews: 19 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 3 - Published: 2/25/2007 - Complete
Doors reviews
Some doors should never be reopened. For a drabble challenge by AnonymousFangirl. The challenge is to give a character one of your traits. I get lost, sometimes in my own neighborhood. Post Doomsday. Takes place during the third season.
Doctor Who - Rated: K - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 151 - Reviews: 6 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/20/2007 - Complete